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#a literal pillar of my life is crumbling down in a completely unexpected way
sunrise-on-the-shore · 3 months
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i need so much time to process the information i have encountered today. i'm gonna be away for a bit.
#sunrise thoughts#i do not have the stability for this.#call me a coward and an imbecile who fell to parasocial relationship stuff i get it i get it#also people keep saying to not speculate but they're doing so so much speculating and i'm so confused and lost#and i'm aware i should watch shubble's stream and such#but i am not stable at all. i am not capable of watching something that will deeply fuck me up.#i'm not ready and i don't think i will be ready for a LONG LONG while.#if you follow this blog or/and you're my friend you know why.#i am so so sorry for shubble and what she went through is horrible and i'm so fucking sad for her#but i cannot process some of the information that's happening right now.#i am aware shubble has decided to not share names for her safety which i very very much understand.#and i know when i say this it's extremely selfish and so fucking bad but i am begging i am genuinely begging#that everyone who seems to have 'guessed' who the abuser is to be wrong#i know it's extremely bad to say#but i am entering denial mode of the grief processus right now.#and like i said. i will need SO much time to process things.#i've had such a massive special interest on this man's content since 2021. it is my strongest special interest ever.#a literal pillar of my life is crumbling down in a completely unexpected way#so please don't yell at me for not being able to watch this stream and such#i need time#plus the topic is very very sensitive to me for personal reasons too#anyway. that's all i will say. and i said way too much already.
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fandomdumpsterfires · 3 years
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*Insert a cool title cuz head empty*
Of all the things kyle expected to go though, becoming a rider was the most unexpected. He was most deffinately against it at first, saying that he didn't know shit about what riders do, and his flying monstie lessons with philip and their bazelgeuse were...well..something.
Yet, of course, philip insisted that kyle should become a rider, even letting them use their old kinship stone since they couldn't exactly get one from the chief due to not being part of the village.
Then came the point where he got his first monstie...which he was quite nervous about, as egg quests always ended in him getting egg yolk all stuck up in his hair or getting nearly burnt to a crisp by an angry rathian, but philip let him know that he'd deal with any angry monster that got in their way.
And now, one day later, kyle had his first monstie.
Who was...nothing like his expectations.
Kyle had picked the egg he 'felt a connection to', as philip explained it, so he chose an egg that was light blue with darker blue stripes, and believe his suprise when he found out it was an azure rathalos egg.
Kyle's original expectations for an azure rathalos monstie were a serious and loyal flying wyvern that would burn down everything that got in their path, striking fear into even the deviants and elder dragons with a single glare.
Once it hatched though...all those expectations crumbled into ash, because he swore this azure rathalos was really a yian-kut-ku trapped in a flying wyvern's body.
The azure rathalos was running all over the place, an energy kyle would expect from a hatchling, not a fully grown monstie, which was another thing that suprised him; monsties reaching adult hood in just a Single Day! And it didn't help that he had witnessed this growth spurt while he was asleep..one moment he had a small rathalos curled up on his chest, the next moment he could barely breathe from the huge wyvern laying right on top of him.
Ratha let out an irritated snort as kyle's monstie hopped off of their head and onto their back, attempting to pounce on their tail until the older rathalos had enough, giving them a warning snarl and getting them to finally stop. Well..stop jumping on him, they still ran around a lot-
Philip giggled as he watched kyle's monstie play around before looking over to the hunter-turned-rider beside him, who looked just as irritated as ratha "c'mon kyle, chin up! Sure he probaply isn't what you expected, but atleast you got your first monstie." They said "the least you could do is give them a name."
Kyle listened to philip and sighed, right, he still had yet to name this hyper little lizard... "fine...i'll call them razzar." He replied, and right when he said his monstie's name, they came running right over, jumping on their rider and licking his face, tail wagging like a hyper palamute "ack- get off of me you slobbering reptile-!!" Kyle groaned, struggling to push the azure rathalo's snout away, his face going red as he heard phillip giggling at his expense "th-this is not funny in the slightest!!!"
Philip did his best to stiffle his laughter, kyle finally managing to push razzar off, the rathalos watching as their rider stood up and whiped away the immense amount of slobber covering their face, no longer seeming to be as hyper as thry let out a small whine, most likely hurt by being called a 'slobbering reptile'.
Kyle looked down at his suddenly sad monstie and huffed, kneeling down and scratching their chin "sorry bud, i didn't mean in like that..." he said, although, there wasn't as much sympathy in his tone as philip had hoped, but it was still enough for razzar the start wagging his tail again.
Philip clapped his hands together "alright! Now we should probaply start on deepening your kinship with your monstie, that way, you guys will be in complete sync with one another!" He said. Kyle raised an eyebrow as he stood up " 'deepening kinship?' How the hell will we do that?" He asked "just by hanging out and taking care of your monsties. The more time you spend with them, the closer you'll become." Philip replied, petting his rathalos' head "the main way me and ratha bonded was through flying together, and it's also how you and razzar will become closer, just you wait!"
Kyle gulped, still not quite over nearly breaking his skull open on a rock when he fell off of blister on his third attempt at flying lessons..no, he couldn't let his past fears stop him, he WILL deepen his bond with his monstie "..alright, so...when do we start?"
"RAZZAR FOR GOG'S SAKE SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!!!" Kyle shrieked.
Klye and philip were in the sadona barrens for flying practice, swirving around the large tree-like formations and practicing climbs and dives. While philip and ratha did it quite gracefully, kyle was...all over the place-
Razzar was flying in every single direction, diving down and skitting his talons across the sand one minute and nearly thwacking into a rock pillar the next, all while kyle was holding onto their neck with his arms and legs for dear life.
"Kyle you need to focus and allow razzar to go where he wants to, resistence is only gonna make him resist back!" Philip said "IT'S HARD TO DO THAT WHEN I'M LITERALLY ABOUT TO FALL OFF!!" kyle replied, his grip starting to weaken as razzar did another sudden zigzag.
Kyle's grip finally slipped, sending him plummeting down towards the sandy terrain bellow. He screamed and squeezed his eyes shut, awaiting to land hard on his back or get impaled by a monoblos' horn or-
He felt his back hit something, but it was deffinately not the ground. He thought it was razzar, but he could easily hear a second pair of wingbeats, so that means...
"Are you alright kyle?!"
The one who caught him, speaking with an extremely worried tone, was philip, and he was laying right there in his arms.
Kyle felt as if his brain had ceased functioning when his body froze, his face going as red as ratha's scales "y-yes i am perfectly fine-!!" He said quickly.
The two flying wyverns landed near the bridge that lead to the entrance gates of lulucion, kyle now sitting down in the sand, face buried in his hands. Philip was sat beside them, gently patting their back "it'll be ok kyle, it was your first time flying outside of lessons, you'll get the hand of it soon.." they said.
Kyle sighed, resting his hands in his lap "...maybe i was just never meant to be a rider..i'm a hunter for gog's sake! Hunting monsters is in my blood!" He said, causing philip's eyebrows to crease.
"Kyle, i know you're better at hunting than riding...but i was in a similar situation once, not all my knowledge on riding came naturally y'know." Philip said with soft grin "basically what I'm trying to say is that not everything will be easy from the start, and there will always be obstacles, but if you keep trying you'll eventually succeed, it's always good to master more than one kind of skill, after all."
Kyle was silent as philip spoke. He looked over at the rider, then down at their hand as it rested on his forearm. He looked into philip's eyes, able to see all the kindness and confidence they had. He copied their soft grin and gently rested his hand on theirs "...thanks phil."
Unfortunately, their little moment of intimacy was disturbed by fastly approaching footsteps. Lilia was running out of the gates and towards the two, looking rather panicked "philip, There's been reports of a diablos acting unusually hostile at the top of lamure tower, we can't risk it getting to the city!" She said.
Right when he saw lilia, philip instantly rose to his feet, his soft look swiftly turning serious "we'll go and take care of it. C'mon ratha!" He started running in the direction of lamure tower, getting on his rathalos as they ran beside him and taking off into the air.
Kyle was hesitant to follow, looking over at lilia, who gave him a confident grin "i know you can do this kyle, just have faith in your monstie and nothing can stop you." She said. Kyle nodded "right, razzar, let's go!" He ran and hopped onto his rathalos, they too taking off into the sky.
Loud shrieks echoed off of the top of lamure tower as fireballs collided with its tough hide, which was stronger than it should be "it's stronger than a normal diablos, it's almost like it's wearing some kind of armor!" Philip said, moving out of the way of an attempted horn jab, ratha jabbing at the diablos's metallic hide with its talons.
And just like he said, the diablos indeed was wearing some kind of armor. The armor was dark indigo with gold around the edges, covering the diablos from head to tail, aswell as its arms and legs. Its horns were covered by some sort of red material, and there was a strange purple gem attached to its frill.
The diablos shrieked again and seemed to start charging a red orb of electricity between its horns, firing it in a beam, ratha narrowly getting out of the way "kyle look out!!!" Philip shouted, but kyle didn't react in time, resulting in razzar getting hit.
The azure rathalos let out a pained shriek and got knocked back by a small explosion, kyle getting thrown off of his monstie's back, the two of them falling from the top of the tower.
"KYLE!!!!!"
Kyle was stunned, ears ringing from the explosion as he once again plummeted to his potential death. He watched as razzar, his monstie, began to fall aswell, philip's muffled cry snapping him back to reality.
He pushed through his fear of death and closed his eyes, remembering everything; all he did before and after the oltura incident, getting his first monstie, flying lessons, and last but not least, philip's words of encouragement.
"Deepen your kinship with razzar, and you'll be perfectly in sync!"
Then, he saw his monstie staring right back at him. The rathalos nodded in understanding, and in turn, kyle nodded back.
"RIDE ON! AZURE RATHALOS!!"
Kyle's kinship stone opened and shone brightly, razzar's eyes snapping open in response to the light. The wyvern roared and opened its wings, flying down towards its rider. Kyle grabbed the handles of his monstie's saddle tightly and pulled up, razzar rocketing up into the sky with a loud roar.
Philip's eyes widened when he saw razzar fly up from the side of the castle, kyle easily able to tell he had cried a little when he had fallen. Yet, he didn't break his serious glare, razzar matching his rider's expression.
Philip whiped his eyes and made ratha jump away from another attack from the diablos, the two los riders teaming together and resuming their task. Both of their kinship stones shone with a bright blue light, and they nodded at eachother in understanding.
They raised their open kinship stones, and shouted out at the exact same time.
"SKY-HIGH DIVE!!!!!!"
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