#a bit longer but god i want them to know its nottheir fault and i wasnt upset with them

[technicolorxsn]

god I just want a good day

#today fucking sucked i woke up exhausted i was tired all day i had a headache i kept getting stared at #and the one good thing i was looking forward to ended up not panning out and i accidentally made things worse by somewhat breaking down #over everything and i cant even explain that to them until they get back which fuck it started late so i probably wont be able to for #a bit longer but god i want them to know its nottheir fault and i wasnt upset with them #god i just want sleep #i want a long tight hug and to be held while i cry and take a nap in my partners arms but theyd have to actually be here for that to happen #it feels like they're always busy #and when theyre not i am and when neither of us are things sti #still manage to not work out #and god it brings back too many memories o #i dont want to think about but i know theyre not doing it on purpose but still #the only time i get with them seems to be lunches and calling at night and god even the calls have been getting shorter and i cant do #anything #i feel like i cant even be upset because i know its not their fault but god im so tired of being alone #i try my best every day to be as good of a person as i can be and im still fucking miserable all the time #is it too much to ask for at least one good day?