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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Jude & Jac

Jude: [post rave] Jude: you can stop your 1 woman campaign now, freshers looks fun, I admit it Jac: That's why they give out free shit and throw these things Jac: convince people like you, good to know you've fallen for it 🎣😏 Jude: I'm convinced enough to crash Trinity's 😜✌ Jude: here on out Jac: good luck, jailbait Jac: the two years you've got left in school show 👶 Jac: you can't even grow unconvincing facial hair like the boys in my year Jude: nah they don't, why ma & da get so stressed every time I leave the house 💋👗👠 Jac: Predators enjoying the fact you think so is another issue entirely Jude: 🙄😏 Jude: can never just have a nice chat with you Jac: What do you need to chat about? Jude: what do YOU need to chat about? Jac: That was an...attempt, I'll give you that Jude: alright, here's the nudge, her name starts with S & last time she was ranked she was at like a 4 Jude: but I'm willing to bump her up in light of recent events Jac: You've reconnected and + 1 up, have you? Jac: That's nice Jude: taking a decent 📷 is good for a few points Jude: probs should lose 'em again when it's dad 👍 but whatever Jac: Very generous Jac: do appreciate you keeping your 👍 to yourself Jac: what do you wanna ask then? Jude: ikr I'm in a generous mood Jude: I'm not forcing you into a q & a Jude: I just think it's good you're mates again Jude: be a bit weird having her there & not Jude: some girl isn't gonna be there 📷 to turn her into a headless 👻 whenever shit gets awkward Jac: That your professional opinion, captain obvious? Jac: well, cheers for your blessing, like Jude: I could tell you were waiting for it so Jac: Clearly Jac: the little you think about has always been my GREATEST concern 😏 Jac: and she'll be up and over the 🌙 at her new score, of course Jude: all I REALLY wanna know is if she has a 🌾🐄 accent now, like? be honest Jude: it's still silver 🥄 yeah? Jac: Err, come on, it was NEVER Southside Jac: and even if it was, that'd count for NOTHING here Jac: so posh some of 'em it's a speech impediment Jude: so you're saying she don't fit right in with the 👸🤴 & qualifies as a bit of rough instead Jude: gutted for her Jude: her ma'd be even more 💔 wonder how she is Jac: That isn't funny, Jude Jude: not about her mum, that was well sad Jude: posh boys not thinking Sav is, is a bit though Jac: Have you ever tried engaging your brain before you speak Jac: not being completely insensitive should not be this hard for you Jude: ?? Jac: Don't ?? at me Jac: you say it's 'well sad' but you're the one that cracked a joke in the first place Jude: I didn't Jude: not about that Jac: I'm not pulling it from nowhere, it's still on my screen Jac: I don't think you realize how badly you come across half the time Jude: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come across like a massive dickhead Jude: I think Sav's alright, I'm not trying to take the piss out of her Jac: Well it's alright this time 'cos you only said it in front of me Jude: be going a bit far to check in with her Jude: not weird at all Jac: you're saying I SHOULD put it past you? Jac: you are weird Jude: I'm saying I'm not about to say it front of her as I don't talk to her, am I Jac: doesn't mean getting into the habit of saying every 'hilarious' thought that enters your head out loud is a plan Jude: yeah alright Jude: fair enough Jac: Anyway, Sav isn't interested in any boys that look like they came from 🐴s not 🐒s Jude: 🤣 Jude: you wanna be careful saying 👦🏽👦🏾👦🏿 look like 🐒 but I get you Jac: She hasn't got a boyfriend of any colour so I weren't saying that Jude: I didn't reckon so, not unless she got a lad to follow her to uni Jude: but who wants that? Jac: Her ex was holding her back hardcore but he's given that up, thankfully Jude: he sounds like a right laugh & not at all like a prick Jac: That's boys for you Jude: 😜 Jude: when do they grow up? 40s or what? Jac: Have you met our father? Jac: never Jude: oh great Jac: 🤷 Jude: it's alright for you, you can get all the 🤓 lads when you're done studying or whatever Jude: least they'll be smart Jac: smart boys are worse Jac: they want to explain everything to you Jude: really? Jude: fuck that then Jac: dumb but kind are the lofty heights you can shoot for Jude: like a 🐶 Jac: yep Jac: loyalty too, forgo the collar Jude: yeah you're right that is lofty heights Jude: maybe when I'm 40, I can find a lad that don't need one Jude: stop him going over the road & 💔 me Jac: shitting where you eat is gross but convenient, that's boys Jude: 👍 Jude: Jess is so lucky he can pick a lad or a girl Jac: Most people are undesirable Jac: gay lads will only touch him if they think he's straight and that's their type Jac: and girls are a whole different beast altogether Jude: that'll be why he's so 😒 Jac: as a rule or more than usual right now? Jude: we all know why he's 😒 right now Jude: you pissed off somewhere more fun without him Jac: I think he's just fine Jac: and he did it first, every weekend, like Jude: speaking of, his latest gig was not the one Jude: so he's probably 😒 about that Jac: like, he was shit, the crowd weren't the right one or the equipment weren't? Jude: he needs a better 🎸 but that ain't news Jude: seemed like he didn't wanna be there to me Jac: Hm, a fight with one of his girlfriend or boyfriends then Jac: meant to make him better so he's fucked up there Jude: relatable Jac: 🙄 Jac: alright Jude: don't be 🙄 @ me Jude: your dating history ain't spotless Jac: I've never dated anyone so it is Jac: 📑 definition Jude: your hook up history then, you know what I mean cos me either Jac: I don't fall in love with them like an idiot, it's entirely different Jude: I fell in love with the one, who I was dating for a bit Jude: I'm not going about falling for 'em all Jac: Still did, didn't you Jac: I can't even remember any of mine Jac: nothing came into play but proximity and timing Jude: 🏆🥇 if you want Jac: take it over your 💔 obviously Jude: yeah Jac: 🙄 I repeat Jude: whatever Jude: I was stupid, it was ages ago Jac: you brought it up Jude: it was my mistake, I can Jac: not a sounding board for your whining Jude: alright, my bad Jac: used to you Jude: you've got your own room now, get over it, like Jac: unfortunuately, that doesn't stop us sharing a family so I don't think I will, thanks Jac: unfortunuately, that doesn't stop us sharing a family so I don't think I will, thanks Jude: it's a part time one for you now, don't have to see this face til 🎄🎅☃️🎁 Jac: Unfortunately, can stay over Spring though, but there's no catering in the Xmas hol 💔 Jude: 👎 - 1 point to St Andy's Jude: is Sav going to her mum or dad for the hols? Jac: better than home, get all my meals and room cleaned for me every week so Jac: literally only just got here, who's thinking about leaving Jac: some other halls you can stay, so maybe she'll find someone there, so she only has to do actual Xmas day or whatever Jude: me now, maybe I should bother going to uni if they're gonna clean for me Jac: only if you get into a good one Jac: and pay extra, hence most people are self-cater, but what else do I need my grant, loan and scholarship for, may as well Jude: 🤔 I hear you, that's unlikely Jac: you have time Jac: two years can change everything Jude: not my 🧠 it can't Jude: my concentration ain't there unless I'm doing 🎨 Jac: you could try harder, and you know it Jude: at what? Jac: concentrating on enough subjects to get you into a decent Uni Jac: you don't need every one, just enough to boost your points Jude: sounds easy that 😤😏 Jude: if I'm only in it for the 🧹🧺 🧼🧽 & I ain't 🤓 enough for one of 'em, ain't much point Jac: It's not about being nerdy or naturally intelligent, it's about being smart with the system Jude: yeah but it's probably also about going cos you wanna learn stuff & be there not just cos you wanna leave home for a bit Jac: most people never use their degrees, so you tell me Jude: that's true Jude: what subjects then? Jac: Depends what you want to do, Art in some form, assumedly? Jac: Fuck Irish and Spanish and PE, duh, knuckle down with your rest to up your points as much as you can then absolutely ace Art Jude: Alright, I'm decent at PE anyway Jude: that'll be easy points Jac: Exactly, no need to purposely fuck them up, but focus harder on the rest, especially the ones you are less decent at without trying Jude: please tell me you've left your notes here Jac: Of course Jac: under my bed, if you haven't lit it on 🔥 Jude: it's only been a week, gimme chance Jac: well, don't reckon they'll let you get a double yet Jac: I still need a place to crash in the holidays and it certainly won't be beside you snoring your head off Jude: might do if I steer clear of lads for a bit Jude: not that I've done half as much with 'em as everyone reckons I have Jac: People find shit to chat regardless, not worth paying no mind to, no more mind to stupid lads either Jude: I don't care if people don't reckon I'm a virgin still even though I am Jude: it's not like it matters Jac: Yeah, those people will all be irrelevant before you know it Jude: loads of people are well jealous of your uni btw Jude: reckoned you'd wanna hear that Jac: Of course Jac: x2 Jude: 😏 Jac: It's more of a flex than Trinity even, and only a handful of people got in there Jude: when did you work out what you wanted? it feels like you've been going on about it forever Jude: but like actually Jac: 🤔 Jac: I can't remember a point where it wasn't my plan, honestly Jac: more abstract when I was little and didn't have the titles and disciplines to put to it but Jac: I always liked murder mysteries and shit, what makes us tick Jude: right Jude: you love a true crime podcast Jac: 😏 Jac: but I'd rather deal with the living murderers than the corpses of their victims so Jude: well yeah Jude: 🦴🦷 bit gross Jac: 🧠 are much better Jude: long as you're not cutting into it Jac: I won't be Jac: if I'd combined biology, and gone that route Jude: I won't be either, tah Jude: science is proper hard Jac: Psychology has a shit load of it involved anyway, but I can blag it Jude: you're SO excited, I can tell Jude: 🤓💕 Jac: Of course I am Jac: it's everything I've ever wanted Jude: it's weird you're so far away though, it don't feel like you are Jac: Glad my prescence and now abscence had/have such a huge impact on you Jac: we both know why though so Jude: yeah Jac: it's different now Jude: good Jac: alright then Jude: give my love to Savannah, I know she'll have missed me Jude: that's the impact I have Jac: 👌👌 Jude: 😝 Jac: Do you really have a problem with Savannah? Jude: course not, I told you I think she's alright, it's just bants Jude: why does she have a problem with me? Jac: yeah, it's a massive grudge she took all the way to Sligo and back Jac: 🙄 Jude: you know what I mean Jude: has she said that I come across as a massive dickhead too or something? Jude: I don't wanna upset her, like Jac: you haven't come up a load in conversation, like Jac: oddly enough Jac: it's that Jac: she's like my girlfriend alright so you can't be a dick about her anymore, alright Jude: alright then Jac: is that all you're gonna say Jude: I won't take the piss out of her no more, like I said, I didn't mean it anyways Jac: you can react, you know Jac: it's big news on multiple counts Jude: it makes sense Jude: I get it now, why you were like that after she left Jac: Good Jac: I want you to know that Jac: don't change how it was, but still Jude: you could've just told me you rated her 10/10 Jude: is that why she left? like her family always seemed a bit off but I didn't think they were that bad Jac: I couldn't, though Jac: no, her mum wasn't coping Jac: as we all know now, and then the Isabelle stuff went down, so their dad stepped in Jude: yeah, but I mean, that's not part of why she slit her wrists, is it? Cos Sav doesn't need that to carry Jac: it was because the dad left and then took them, to put it as bluntly and without nuance as possible Jac: but that's all on him, not the girls, her mum isn't like blaming them, their relationship is getting better Jude: at least she was alright with you too dating then, nobody needs that dark ages mentality shit Jude: she's got enough going on Jac: well, she doesn't know about that yet Jude: but you were together back then, yeah? Jac: no, it's a new development Jac: as in, like, the other night new, no one really knows, I barely do Jac: things were complicated before Jude: oh okay, soz for backtracking so hard, I just thought Jac: yeah, that was the problem Jac: shit was assumed or it wasn't Jude: what a headfuck Jude: you're okay now though, right? Like the other night went alright Jac: I guess for context, before she left, I did kiss her and it went horribly Jac: I loved her then but she didn't and then she was gone Jac: I see how it sounded like pining there but no Jac: it's good now though, things have changed, we both have Jude: I knew something happened that night when you came back early, you were like a 👻 or like you'd seen one Jac: Yeah, that was what it was Jude: it won't happen again if things are different so Jac: not as bad Jude: I'm glad Jude: that this is the ending you get, cos it's not one, it's more like a beginning or whatever Jude: you don't have to be just excited for uni Jac: I know Jac: not that there's anything wrong with just being excited for Uni, tah very much Jac: whatever happens, I think we'll be able to stay friends this time so Jude: or you'll just marry her & have all the kids she obviously wants Jac: let's not get carried away, shall we Jude: 1. you never said I couldn't have bants with you still Jude: 2. there's nowt I don't know about her life plan, she talks LOADS Jac: You only have a problem with that because you want to be the one talking Jude: course I do Jac: it cannot be overstated how much I'd rather listen to her, is the point ❤ Jude: it'd be a bit rude if you were already like nah tah 🤐 it, babe Jude: probably don't do that Jac: That's your top tip and people really think you're not a virgin? Jac: Interesting Jude: it don't work out well for the lads who TRY it with me 😏 Jude: people reckon I'm not cos I'm that 🥇 yeah Jude: & cos lads have loads to say for themselves, most of which is bollocks Jude: but you're not a sounding board for my whinging, I remember Jac: 'Bants', dear sister, 'bants' Jude: 👍 Jac: anyway, I've got to go Jac: there's this variety show that is apparently hilarious, either actually or in how bad it is so Jude: & I've got loads of 📝📚📖📏📐to do if I'm gonna have my own freshers Jude: top quality entertainment like that, literally how could I not? Jac: sure you'll want to be in it yourself 😏 Jude: you're correct Jude: 👋 then

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kuriquinn · 7 years

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Hey Kuri. I just need a little life advice. How did you find your call in Teaching? I'm kinda struggling right now trying to find what I want to do with my life. Im going back to college soon but the subject I'm studying isn't what I'm interested in. I've tried to love it but its been difficult. I often times feel like a disappointment to my family because my siblings are all doing great and I feel like a loser not getting there yet.

Strap in, there, Anon, this’ll be a long one…

If I’m being honest, my call isn’t teaching - it’s writing. Even now, though I have a Big Girl Job and everything, which pays my bills and keeps my fur babies in food and toys, I consider my writing to be my real job. Even if, at the moment, it’s just writing fanfiction.

The first piece of advice I would give you for anything in your future is to do something you love. That way it will never be a chore and you will stick with it longer than five minutes.

Now, on the heel of that, the second piece of advice is: if you can’t pursue your passion, pursue something you don’t hate. And it might take you a while to figure out what that is.

I graduated high school with pretty decent grades, went to a good college and did well there (Liberal Arts), and I applied to university hoping to major in Creative Writing and Minor in German Language. My outside logic was: it would help me get into a writing field like journalism or translation. Inwardly, I figured I was just taking university courses while I was busy writing my novel and that before graduating I would be published and famous and rich.

Yeah, eighteen-year-old me was a bit of a naive idiot.

Cue life-experience:

My parents were kind of wary about the whole thing, they didn’t really believe I was doing a good thing, but it was my choice and they had to respect it. They knew what I didn’t, but would learn for myself. At the time I was also working in a bookstore, which while not my passion or anything, I actually enjoyed. Work never felt like work, and for minimum wage, that’s a good thing.

Flash forward to my first semester of university, in which I learned that a) my German skills were beyond what I could be taught at uni and I wouldn’t be able to take half of the courses I needed to fill my minor, so it was basically a waste of time to take and b) my Creative Writing classes basically centered around having a published author (and I use this term loosely to define a person who self-published one grungy, literary shock fiction and passed it off as literature) get up and talk about how to write. And not write actual good stories with decent plots and characters and such, but the gritty, sensory, detailed lyrical crap…and if you didn’t try to write exactly like that person, they flunked you.

So trying to follow my first passion didn’t exactly pan out.

I ended up switching my degree completely, majoring in Classical Civilisation and minoring in History. I figured, I love history, and I love research, maybe a degree in this could help me get a job in museum studies or as a researcher or something. The next two years passed quite nicely…and though my part-time bookstore job fell through because of crappy managers, I started to tutor a lot more (and my brother was in his last years of high school at this point, and needed my help getting through his classes) and I realised that I was actually pretty good at breaking down information and explaining it in different ways. Plus, I already had a lot of experience with learning difficulties due to my brother.

So, one year before I graduated, I get the bright idea to become a teacher. I had enough credits to switch majors, but the problem was, my university only offered Early Childhood Education…and while I dearly love little kids, more than five or six of them below the age of ten would probably drive me insane. I figured teenagers would be more mature.

(*pause* *waits for riotous laughter from Those Who Know Better*)

Anyhow, I had to apply to a whole new university program just to get into a high school teaching program. And that was the most miserable two years of my life, because teacher education is the most useless piece of trash degree you can take. You know when you learn? When they stick you in a school as a student teacher. I didn’t learn one thing from my second university degree except that sometimes the only way to move on to the next stage of your life is to sit through the boring shit and get a stupid piece of paper saying you sat through the boring shit.

And THEN…

I didn’t even get a job for another two years.

The thing people don’t tell you about university is that when you get out, there is almost no one hiring. The Baby Boomer generation is not retiring any time soon, the job market is flooded with so many newcomers that competition is fierce, and on top of that, your chances are reduces based on what field you go into. Science, Engineering, Computers, Medicine, Business and Law? Competition will be fierce, but you will definitely have a job at the end of your degree. Anything else? Unless you somehow become famous, every other job out there has a crappy percntage of hiring, and chances are you are going to have to get an average Joe job for a year or two before you actually get hired to do what you studied.

Me, I had one learning experience where I moved to England because there’s a huge demand for teachers (and learned why there’s a huge demand is because the school system there is complete shite), and then spent a year unemployed and basically acting as an unpaid domestic/caregiver because my mother was sick (I lived at home, though, so that’s why it worked out). I still tutored when I could, but I didn’t have as many clients as I had hoped for. Things were so bad at this point and I was so depressed I couldn’t even write…

I did finally get hired, but the way I did won’t make you feel better. I basically sent my resume to one of the schools where I did my field experience, telling them I was available for tutoring in the upcoming year. I got a call back (on my birthday) to see if I was interested in taking on an actual teaching job - they remembered me from my internship and remembered my brother (who once was a student there).

So I basically got the job because I knew someone.

And that’s the reality of it. You will not get a job (in certain fields, at least) unless you know someone. Networking and good interview skills are so important to getting hired these days, and your ability to be social (or fake being social) is key.

Even now, I’m not exactly secure in my job. As a teacher in the private sector, I don’t even have a contract. I literally spend every August sitting by the phone biting my nails hoping that they’re going to call me back for the year.

But it’s a foot in the door. You always have to think about it that way.

Contrast this to my brother - he finished high school, took a trade (auto mechanics), and had a job within a year. He now makes and will continue to make more in a year than what I will in two. He had his forever job at 19; I didn’t find mine until I was 27.

Now, if you’re still with me and I didn’t bore you with my life’s story, here’s the take away:

1. Pursue your passion. If you can make a living from it, you’re one of the lucky few. Keep doing you, and don’t let anyone tell you differently. Friends, family or loved ones, it doesn’t matter what they think.

2. If you can’t pursue your passion (full time, at least), do something that you don’t hate. Something that you are good at, a job where you can show up to and do your work happily and then go home at the end of the day and not stress about. Again, if anyone is telling you to do something you hate, DON’T. In five years, you’ll be burnt out, stressed and miserable. It is so not worth it. And if this is an Average Joe Job like working in a bookstore? Fine. Do that. It gives you more time to pursue your actual passions, and looks good on a resume.

3. Get a trade. Seriously, if you put off university for a year to get a trade, like real estate or mechanics or electrician or something, you not only give yourself the ability to be hired sooner, you can also support yourself throughout your academic career - and for those of you facing a future of student loans, this is so important!

4. If you pursue higher education, be prepared to change your mind A LOT before you graduate. You might find your are more interested or better at a certain subject that you thought, or a complete loss. There is nothing wrong with changing your major or minor until you find the right fit, just make sure you get all your General Education courses out of the way first so that you have that leeway.

5. After graduating, unless you’re in certain career fields, be prepared not to have a job right away. Get an Average Joe Job to keep you going, keep sending out CVs and going to interviews, and just hang in there - you will eventually get there, even if it takes you a little longer than your friends. And network! Make sure you keep in contact with people who might be able to help you in your career.

6. If you have the money and means, travel. Because chances are you won’t have the chance to do it once you join the rat-race.

7. MOST IMPORTANT: Do not let stress take over your life. You MUST find a way to balance your life while you worry about school/career stuff. Go out with your friends, travel when you can (even if it’s just a day trip to a museum!), write or paint or play music or build models or code or binge watch your tv show of choice, or whatever it is you do for fun - make sure you do it every day. Because your brain needs a way to unwind from the not so pleasant adulty stuff.

Anyhow, that’s the advice Twenty-Nine-Year-Old-Present-Me would give Nineteen-Year-Old-Me on the eve of starting university. I don’t know if she’d listen to all of it, but I wish someone had told me all that. Especially the parts about not getting a job right away. I thought I was a humongous failure because I couldn’t find work, when the reality was, I was just one of thousands of people seeking employment in an uncertain economic environment.

So, on that note, I hope that you managed to find some comfort or guidance in these words. Remember, you are not a disappointment and everyone moves at their own pace. Maybe you’re having a slow year and your siblings aren’t. Maybe next year you’ll be the one who has exciting new opportunities and they are stuck in a rut. Our lives are very static and you never know what’s coming around the next bend. Just keep on keeping on.

And personally? If I was struggling to love my college program? I would take a very good look at whether it was really for me.

Thanks for the ask :)

#advice #ask kuri #life lessons #the important thing is to breathe #career #school #passions #wish someone had told me this #the more you know

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Bea & Fraze

Bea: Hey Fraze: What do you want, red? Bea: Talk Fraze: Didn't gloat enough last night, yeah? Fraze: Go on then Bea: That wasn't even what I intended then, even though I was obviously shitfaced, so yeah Bea: Christ Bea: I'm sorry, alright? Fraze: Fuck sorry Fraze: I was shitfaced last night too, I didn't stick my tongue down anyone's throat Bea: Well, you could've Fraze: Cheers for the written permission Fraze: I'll go make a friend, gimme a sec Bea: I'm just saying, not the point, is it Fraze: Your point is, it ain't fun unless you can throw it in my face, like Bea: It wasn't actually about you, sorry to disappoint Fraze: Funny way of showing it Fraze: Should've kept your hands busy, babe Fraze: It would've avoided this Bea: Don't be disgusting Bea: it was bad enough what I did Fraze: You came to the wrong place for sympathy Bea: I'm not after it, I'm just trying to tell you I've sorted it, alright? Fraze: Now you've said it. Run along and pat yourself on the back Bea: Yeah got it, you hate me Bea: but I don't love him, hear that Fraze: What do you expect me to do? Like I could cast my mind back to how it feels pining for someone but I was only a kid Fraze: Fuck off Bea: That isn't close to what this is Bea: How do you manage to still be so arrogant whilst being totally fucking wrong? Bea: A real talent Fraze: Better mine than yours Bea: Obviously Bea: Hope its good company, like Fraze: We done or is there more sob story to come? Bea: Fuck it Bea: You've heard it all before and if you're incapable of connecting the dots by now, you never will Bea: why waste any more time Fraze: Wouldn't want you keep from walking the fuck away again Fraze: Off you go Bea: Again? Seriously? Bea: Where have I gone that you haven't Fraze: You tell me Fraze: The distance ain't being measured in miles, is it, babe Bea: Exactly Bea: Don't act like it was all my idea Fraze: Likewise Fraze: Not for one second was your hand being forced Bea: Didn't say it was Bea: Doesn't mean I had it under control, all cold and calculated, so fuck you Fraze: Hurts doesn't it, when people reckon you're that cunt Bea: I haven't accused you of fucking anything Bea: That's all you Fraze: Bullshit Fraze: Ever since uni started it's like I masterminded this whole fucking plan to fuck you over Bea: You're the one bringing that up Bea: What, you want me to say I'm perfectly capable of that all on my own? Bea: Got the proof, now who's fucking gloating Fraze: Fucking hell Fraze: If the cap fits though, babe Fraze: Go ahead and gloat about how you picked someone who was off limits and broke what few rules there were, on your way out Fraze: Proud of you, like Bea: Fuck off Bea: You don't get to be faux angry on his behalf Bea: You don't even think he's legit or like him and now you're his defender? Don't make me laugh Fraze: You fuck off Fraze: I'm angry on my own behalf Fraze: I don't get attached, deliberately, but you just had to one-up me and go harder, yeah? Congrats Bea: I'm not attached! You aren't listening Fraze: I could give less of a fuck what you're TRYING to say Fraze: You didn't pick him up at the club, no names Fraze: And you knew how I'd react Fraze: You fucking love this Bea: You don't get to listen last night and not now Bea: not how it works Bea: also no Bea: I know it's hard when you're so self-involved but consider for a second that it was actually about HIM and not YOU Bea: pushing HIM away Fraze: Shut up Fraze: I know how important he is to you, no need to shove that down my throat after you've tongued his Fraze: I can think, do and say what I fucking like Fraze: That's how it works Bea: Then do Bea: if this is the hill you wanna live and die on Bea: but you're being ridiculous Bea: frankly Fraze: And that's only for you to be, yeah? I forgot Fraze: You're a fucking farce Fraze: And still judging me Bea: Least I'm owning it Bea: what the fuck are you doing? Fraze: I'm not the one shitting on everything from a great height last I checked Bea: You're complicit, you said as much Bea: but nah, all me Bea: wouldn't that be helpful for your complex Fraze: You're wasted not studying psychology, babe Fraze: Truly Bea: Whatever Bea: I know I'm right and so do you Fraze: Feel good, does it? Fraze: I hope so 'cause it's all you've got to show for this Bea: Yeah, great Bea: Can't you tell? Fraze: Yeah Fraze: Doesn't take a genius Bea: Thank fuck Bea: 'cos you're a total moron Fraze: Fuck you Bea: No, you Fraze: That's the best you've got? Fraze: We ain't 7 any more Bea: Stop sulking then Fraze: Stop messing me about then Bea: I ain't Bea: it was just drunk texts, we've all been there Fraze: Still fucked me up Bea: I said sorry Bea: I am sorry Bea: what can I do? Fraze: Say it like you mean it Fraze: Say it to my face Bea: Really? In the middle of a School week? Bea: You are high maintenance Fraze: Fuck it Fraze: I can own how much I miss you Fraze: How shit this is Bea: Still? Fraze: Do you want me to come or don't you Fraze: Simple enough Bea: Yes Bea: obviously Fraze: Shut up then Fraze: Always fighting me Bea: Yeah, like I'm letting that one slide when I've got at least a solid day before you get here and can make me Fraze: We both know when I get there you'll only be making more noise Fraze: That's why I need you to give in now and let it happen Bea: I'm not stopping you Bea: student loans might have something to say about how you utilize your funds; your profs, your time Fraze: That shit's the least of my worries Bea: Cheers, I ain't THAT bad.. Fraze: Don't get it twisted, babe Bea: Well what else would be giving your grief? Fraze: It's the lack of you Fraze: You're not the problem like, it's that bullshit getting in my way Bea: Yeah Bea: I get it Bea: Got to be done Fraze: Yeah, but I've got to see you first Bea: Come Fraze: No pretty please? Bea: Pushing it, boy Fraze: Would you rather I didn't? I don't reckon Bea: You know what I'd rather Fraze: As a total moron, might need it spelled out, like Bea: Aww babe, you need your ego stroked after that one? Bea: Gone soft on me, like Fraze: It ain't my ego Fraze: And not unless you've lost your touch, babe Bea: Doubting my talent after lauding it only seconds ago? Bea: Hot and cold you are Fraze: Making sure you're listening and keeping you interested Fraze: Bit of multitasking and that Bea: Hmm Bea: Bit tryhard but appreciated Fraze: What else do you reckon I'm learning at college? Fraze: Might as well be an arse kissing degree this Fraze: They call it business but Christ Bea: Whatever gets you the deal, babe Bea: 😂 Bea: Love to see that in action Fraze: You and all these other cunts Bea: You don't like your course? Fraze: What gave it away? Bea: You could change Bea: Not too late Fraze: Not technically but we ain't all loving dealing with superhuman workloads, babe Fraze: Fuck starting over Bea: Alright Bea: It'll still be worth it in the end Fraze: Yeah Fraze: I'll get it done, it ain't that bad Bea: Good Bea: Not just saying it, yeah? Fraze: I'm not a pussy I've done this much, I can handle the rest Bea: I know you aren't Fraze: Don't treat me like one then Fraze: Take my word for it, like Bea: Alright Bea: Calm down Bea: Only asking Fraze: Only saying Bea: Yeah Bea: well I'm sick of not knowing how you're doing Fraze: You are losing your touch if you ain't keeping decent tabs Bea: Fuck off Bea: I've got a life, thanks Fraze: Did have, before you fucked it, like Bea: Shut up Bea: Not funny Fraze: Not laughing Bea: Not what it sounds like from here Fraze: Well, you've got it wrong Bea: What else is knew Fraze: Your turn to sulk now then, yeah? Bea: thought you was being nice Fraze: Now who's gone soft? Bea: Fuck you then, gonna go back to icing you out, like Fraze: You reckon Bea: Yep Fraze: Gonna slam the door in my face, like Bea: Bold of you to assume I'm answering the door Fraze: Come on Fraze: You didn't want me to laugh a second ago, make your mind up Bea: Joking Bea: Keep up Fraze: Hilarious, of course Bea: Yeah, now you've got not nothing, not even a pity laugh Bea: Rude, tbh Fraze joined the chat 14 hours ago Fraze: Like you said, what else is new Bea: could pretend to be nice 'til you leave Bea: not asking for much Fraze: Could do, yeah Bea: Promising Fraze: Not tryhard, like? Fraze: Changing the rules to suit yourself again, babe Bea: You're so bloody awkward Fraze: Cheers Bea: Are you still moody or what? Bea: I've not got a clear enough head for this Fraze: Hanging too hard? Bea: Big time Bea: you reckon I was fucking up my life sober? Bea: little more credit Fraze: I thought you could handle the morning after, but that's too much credit clearly Bea: What can I say? Not an old pro like you Bea: not that this was your finest hour Fraze: Being away from the homeland is making you weak Bea: you reckon Bea: i should come to you then Fraze: You'll have to work harder than that to keep me away from your former bestie Bea: Yeah right Bea: as if that's happening regardless Fraze: Yeah right Bea: You've not been arsed to meet him so you aren't showing up now for a scrap Bea: I'm going back to Cambs so Bea: enjoy your reunion with Joe if you show up there, like Fraze: Fuck off Fraze: You're not funny, babe Bea: Who's joking Bea: Pure facts Fraze: Whatever Bea: ain't getting you nothing from the shops then Fraze: Don't act like you were gonna Bea: might've Bea: got a twofer in the perfume bit but I'll just treat myself x2 now Bea: 'cos I'm such a bitch, obvs Fraze: Again, if the cap fits like Fraze: Think on and buy your friend back Bea: Way ahead of you Bea: Not out for my health, am I Fraze: As per Fraze: I know, priorities Bea: talking to you, ain't i? reckon if i was really into him wouldn't be looking at my phone, yeah? Fraze: Not when you gotta play your cards closer to your chest after last night's fuck up Bea: Oh yeah Bea: playing it cool, like Fraze: Better late than never Bea: What's my master plan here then, like? Bea: be his beard for life Bea: not exactly what I had in mind Fraze: 'Cause he rejected you, he's gotta be gay, yeah? Bea: Duh Fraze joined the chat 2 hours ago Fraze: Whatever you say, babe Bea joined the chat 2 hours ago Bea: Not me who needs reassuring Fraze: First time for everything Bea: If its SUCH a struggle for you Bea: don't bother Fraze: Don't start that shit again Fraze: Christ Bea: Just saying Bea: If you're gonna be this moany Fraze: Don't Fraze: Trying to give me a headache to match yours like Bea: You ain't already? Fraze: It wasn't a challenge Fraze: No, I ain't Fraze: It's all woe's you Bea: Ook. Fraze: Get some hair of the dog on your date you'll be grand Bea: I dunno if the tea room in John Lewis is gonna be up to the challenge Fraze: Unlucky then Bea: as far as dates go Fraze: No shit Bea: good thing i'm just running errands really Fraze: Fair enough, gotta stay sober round that lad now you can't trust yourself like Fraze: Wouldn't wanna fuck up the making up with another kiss Bea: Yeah right, just can't help myself Bea: Is that actually what you think? Fraze: Fuck off Bea: Seriously? Bea: I thought you were joking Bea: you actually think I fancy him Fraze: Don't be an idiot Bea: You first, babe Fraze: What the fuck do you want from me, right now? Fraze: This ain't how I aspire to kick off my mornings Fraze: You got your bestie back. I'm thrilled for you Bea: To hear me! Bea: and yeah, to maybe give a shit Bea: I've never fancied anyone but you Fraze: Act like it then Bea: What else can I do? Fraze: Tell me what the fuck you need him for? Fraze: You've got me Bea: It's completely different Bea: it's just good to have someone a little more Bea: I don't know, impartial? Less...involved Bea: You know, you have friends Bea: That's all it is Fraze: Forget it Bea: No Bea: Don't Bea: when we're finally getting somewhere Fraze: To you making me look a cunt Fraze: Cheers Bea: No I ain't Bea: How is that what you take from that Fraze: What can I say, must be that thick, don't you reckon? Fraze: No worries. It is what it is Bea: Nah Bea: I'm not saying I don't want you to be those things Bea: but that's just you Bea: I'm saying, he ain't Fraze: And I'm saying, you never needed mates before Fraze: So what's different, him or me? Bea: Not like I had much say in the matter, was it? Fraze: I've just never been good enough from day one then, yeah? Fraze: You already spend all your time with those dossers. Fuck's sake Bea: Shut up, no! Bea: What do you want me to do, commute back every day? Bea: If it was feasible, I would Fraze: Jesus Fraze: You want me to have all the answers, but newsflash, red, I ain't Bea: Well, me neither Fraze: Nah Bea: So, what? 'Cos you ain't, you're just giving up, yeah? Fraze: Fuck you Fraze: I'm not a quitter Fraze: I'm still fucking here, ain't I? Bea: Are you? Bea: Prove it Fraze: I'm already getting a flight, what more do you want? Bea: Say you still love me Fraze: Of course I fucking do Bea: Not what you said last night Fraze: Last night I was drunk and angry Fraze: End of Bea: Alright Fraze: You're not the only one who gets to fuck up, you know Fraze: I still love you, Bea Bea: I know Bea: I love you Fraze: Prove it. Leave that twat to his own devices for a sec and call me Bea: [Calls] Fraze: I change my mind, you are funny Fraze: What's not to love, like Bea: It was you trying to make me laugh amongst other things in the middle a busy shop Fraze: You love it Bea: Yeah Bea: didn't need to change my mind there Fraze: Good. Enough of a battle getting here Bea: Shh Bea: Enough of that for one day Fraze: Yeah

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Bea & Fraze

A mess

Bea: Hey Bea: Soooo how'd you do end of term? You've finished now too, yeah? Fraze: I did well enough. No doubt you did too. Fraze: Yeah I'm done too Bea: 👏 Congrats! Yeah got a first on my big project, thank God, worked hard enough Bea: Off celebrating tonight then? What you up to? Fraze: Cheers. Nicely done, babe. Knew you would Fraze: 'Course. Whole group of us heading out on a crawl soon. What plans are worthy of a first then? I dread to think Bea: Thanks 🙂 Bea: That'll be fun, probably avoid the mongrel or go there first before the real carnage, ay? Bea: Well, trying to organise something worthwhile but everyone's being useless Bea: I'll make something happen on my own if not, I guess...What else is a girl to do, like? Fraze: No need to thank me, you put the work in as per. Fraze: It's first stop, gotta get all the free drinks flowing in my honor. Charity ain't gonna extend any further and I'm in my overdraft Fraze: If anyone can you'll figure it out, give your brain a final go before the blow out Bea: Not that my victory laps can extend as far as home Bea: Still so much to do, not sure if I'll fit in a flight back, like Bea: Ahh, tis what the overdraft was made for 😉 if it helps ease your pain, sure I'll be buying my own tonight as well 😒 hard old life init Fraze: Can't get the staff. Fraze: Yeah, I should've reckoned on coming your way though, yeah? Begging and borrowing'll be a real fucking mare Fraze: You can do a few days can't you? Work on the flight like Bea: Don't worry about it, there's no need it'll be School's out for Summer next time, so obviously I can be back then, at least for some of it Bea: Enjoy your freedom Bea: Even if it is on limited fundzzz, sure you won't let that stop you Fraze: Yeah Fraze: Goes without saying Fraze: don't put yourself out and I won't worry Bea: What, d'you wanna come and watch me work? You'll be so bored Bea: I'm doing you a favour, trust Fraze: Sounds like it Fraze: Cheers for that Bea: You're welcome Bea: I'd just be knackered, the train to London is bad enough Fraze: Fair enough. Always doing that though, aren't ya? Say hi to Joe for me next time, make it really worth while trip Bea: If I see him, I will Bea: I've not got any friends in Dublin Bea: Hardly think you or your friends want me gatecrashing your plans Bea: think what that'd do for your street cred 😂 Fraze: oh yeah a hot girl on my arm would proper tank it Bea: Would with the other hot girls Bea: Unless homewrecking is their game and I'm not feeling being a party to that Fraze: I don't play games with them so I could care less Fraze: You know I'd survive no need to use me as an excuse for not showing up Bea: How thoughtful of you Bea: Such a gent Bea: It isn't an excuse, though like I want to come back and see that Bea: Can take a look at my syllabus if you don't believe me, fucking hell Fraze: They know what they're getting, so do you Fraze: We've all got shit to do, Bea Fraze: I'm making time to have this convo right now, aren't I? Bea: Excuse me for pointing out I got a shittier deal Bea: Shut up and take it, yeah? I don't think so Bea: No one is making you, I was just making conversation or is that off the cards too now Bea: Okay, good to know Fraze: We made this deal together, don't act like I fucking forced you Fraze: You said yourself that Dublin is shitty for you so how exactly are you the martyr here, living it up in London? Fraze: Don't start, you know exactly what I was trying to say and it ain't that. Fraze: We're both busy, we both wanna pass, if you wanna see me then do Fraze: If you don't, just say it instead of wasting my time Bea: Well, its a good thing we're both getting an education now, isn't it? Bea: You act like I'm there all the time, I hardly ever go out, not like you; one rule for you another for me! Bea: Its not about want, is it Bea: and I've said I can't already so, take that as your answer if you're going to be so pig-headed about it, Fraze Fraze: If you're gonna be such an idiot then yeah, it is. Fraze: I'm not some useless pisshead, but cheers for the vote of confidence Fraze: I don't go out half as much as I want, so nah, it clearly ain't Fraze: Fine. I'll head out now then, yeah? since you're done with me Bea: Don't call me an idiot Bea: Or put words in my mouth Bea: OR put that on me Bea: obviously Uni isn't one long party but that isn't my fucking fault Bea: nor am I saying you shouldn't be going out Bea: Do what you want Fraze: Unless what I want doesn't suit you Fraze: Cheers for the permission to go out though, ma, nice one Bea: Fuck you Bea: Want me to give you a fucking pat on the back for however many sluts you can fuck in a night? Nah Bea: You've got your mates for that Bea: Don't paint me out as some crazy over-protective bitch Bea: I don't have to like it, and I certainly don't have to hear about it Bea: How would you like it? Fraze: Fuck you Fraze: you're pissed at me for wanting to see you, pissed at me for seeing other girls, I can't fucking win with you Fraze: I ain't painting you any way, that's all you. Your words from your mouth Fraze: And I wasn't offering you a peek into my little black book either Fraze: I've never held that over you so you can fuck off for suggesting it Bea: Don't tell me you didn't say things when I can see them right there with my own eyes Bea: You called me your Mum, its hardly complementary Bea: Yeah, best kept secret Bea: That's healthy, that's fun Bea: for fuck's sake Fraze: You see what you wanna see, babe Fraze: It wasn't meant to be. But cheers for calling my ma a crazy bitch like Fraze: You've gotta even more a judgey know it all since you started hanging with that cambs lot, very healthy and fun that Bea: And you believe your own bullshit Bea: I'm not buying Bea: The comparison shouldn't ever enter your head, how fucked up are you? Jesus Christ Bea: Well if I'm so fucking awful why don't you just do it then Fraze: Better than believing yours right now Fraze: How fucked up are you? I was joking 'cause you love telling me what I can and can't do. End of Bea: I haven't told you once what to do Bea: but sure Bea: its all my fault Bea: so do it, stop being a pussy and do it Fraze: stop telling me what to do Fraze: Jesus Christ Bea: You want to Bea: so why don't you? Fraze: You have no fucking clue what I want Fraze: I told you and you still don't Fraze: why don't you listen Bea: well, distance and time apart will do that Bea: why don't you find someone who's clued in? Bea: another one, like Fraze: Fuck's sake, Bea Bea: Don't Fraze: One rule for me, one for you Fraze: Stop it Bea: No Bea: Its too late Fraze: It's not Bea: It is Bea: you're not going to do it so I have to Bea: or its just stalemate and who wants that? Fraze: Bea, don't Bea: S'no big deal, happens to everyone, right? Bea: who makes it nowadays Fraze: Us. We do Fraze: Just stop Bea: Only because I'm letting you cheat on me Bea: we're letting each other, whatever Bea: it shouldn't have to be like this Bea: you'd feel less guilty Fraze: It doesn't have to be like anything Bea: but it is Bea: and i'm sick of it Bea: i need a break Bea: i'm crazy you're right Fraze: I didn't mean that Bea: Regardless Bea: the shoe fits Fraze: It fits me too then, so fucking what? Bea: The what is a why...Why are we doing this to each other? Fraze: You know why Bea: Its hard Bea: and it doesn't make it any easier Fraze: I know Fraze: What do you want me to do? Bea: Be here now Bea: but you aren't, and you can't Fraze: I'll get on a plane right fucking now, then a train as many as it takes Bea: you can't always do that Bea: and shouldn't have to Bea: thought you didn't want to be told what to do? Fraze: Fuck off Fraze: I love you Bea: Promise? Fraze: On my life Bea: Don't Fraze: I do Bea: But don't on your life Bea: I love you too much Fraze: I have to. It's true and you have to know that Fraze: You are my life, Bea. That's it Bea: Exactly Bea: I was meant to let you have a life, have the uni/teenage experience whatever Bea: then see where we stood and I can't even do that Bea: still holding you back from here Fraze: No Fraze: Bullshit. You've never done that. I'm only here studying in the first place 'cause of you Bea: That's not true, you got in on your own merit, don't do yourself down Fraze: Yeah it is and you know that too Bea: Well, you're still passing now and I've been less than helpful Bea: its a miracle I am Fraze: This ain't cambridge, babe Fraze: Or architecture Fraze: You're smart, stop being an idiot. You don't need a miracle you just need to keep working like you have been Fraze: I've not helped with that Fraze: If you seriously want a break from me, say the word, yeah? But don't make it something it ain't. For me or you Bea: Its still an achievement, Cambridge is not the be all end all people make it out to be Bea: degrees a degree and its just a piece of paper that helps us get to where we want, fingers crossed still, like Bea: you should be proud, I am Bea: but I've not been working as hard as I should Bea: Like you said, I'm always in London Bea: that's the real waste... Fraze: You can do this. If you haven't been working hard enough go from now Fraze: There's so much time left Bea: I know but Bea: No Bea: I know Bea: I have to get my shit sorted Fraze: You and me both, babe Fraze: in it together, yeah? Same as always Bea: Yeah Bea: just don't fall in love with any of them okay Fraze: Okay Fraze: I won't if you don't either Bea: Not going to happen Bea: I can assure you Fraze: Good Bea: You idiot Fraze: You love it Bea: Must do Fraze: Go out tonight though, yeah? You deserve to celebrate Bea: Ha, s'not going to be much of a celebration Bea: Isn't like I'm surrounded by friends here either lol Bea: I'm clearly just not made for it, like Fraze: I'll trade you this shower of cunts if you like Fraze: not the be all and end all either I promise you Bea: I know its true, not as if I don't have the opportunities, I just can't fake interest or maintain something that doesn't feel worthwhile Bea: So, not technically missing out Bea: Just...must be nice to be normal Fraze: I'll let you know how it feels if I ever get there Fraze: fuck knows why you'd wanna be normal, everyone in cambs wants to be you babe Bea: Come on, you're normal Bea: Mr. Average in every sense of the word 😉 Bea: too soon to joke? Fraze: come on, you can do better than that Bea: Yeah, true Bea: Currently cussing out Ronnie too, taking up all my bitchy energies, she's needy like that Fraze: Give her a fuck off from me Bea: Its been heavily implied, and returned, naturally 🙄 Bea: Needs must and I need drugs so Fraze: Not enough in all of London to make her bearable Fraze: Fuck that Bea: Not inclined to disagree rn Bea: That's Friday nights for ya Bea: what would it be without the drama Fraze: better Fraze: you've gotta ditch that lot they're doing you no favors Bea: They aren't THAT bad Bea: I can handle them Bea: and myself, for that matter Fraze: I know you can Fraze: Shame they can't handle themselves Bea: Aww babe, they won't appreciate your concern Bea: I think its cute though Fraze: Fuck off Fraze: I'm not concerned I'm ashamed to have 'em on my radar Bea: Well, its not like you've gotta be seen with them Bea: or will be any time soon Bea: much to Charlie's dismay Fraze: Thank Christ Fraze: Watch you don't get seen with 'em too much Bea: I'll do my best to lose the paps that follow me everywhere I go then Bea: I'm sure worse happens under the watchful eye of campus police, I'm golden Fraze: Valid point Bea: I know what I'm doing, babe Fraze: Keep it that way then, yeah? Bea: Don't tell me what to do Bea: Ha Fraze: Hilarious Fraze: Don't tell me not to give a shit it's too late for that Bea: You're dramatic Bea: What do you take me for? Bea: Insulting Fraze: You said yourself you've gotta sort your shit out Bea: Charming Bea: You didn't have to be so ready to agree Bea: I'm not doing anything wrong Bea: Anything you don't do yourself Fraze: I'm just looking out for you, babe Bea: I don't need you to Bea: Thanks very much Fraze: Tell me something I don't know Fraze: I'm not saying you do Bea: Then why persist Fraze: You know that answer too Bea: I know what you'd say but I don't think I agree with your reasoning Fraze: Do or don't, it is what it is Bea: No, it isn't when its MY life Bea: I'm not a fucking pet project for you Fraze: Of course you're not Fraze: What are you getting mad at me for? Bea: Because I'm not a little girl who needs saving Bea: Fuck! Bea: Because that's all I am to you Bea: STILL Fraze: You've never been that to me Fraze: Don't be stupid Bea: Bullshit Bea: Just keeping me around to fuel some kind of fucked up hero complex Fraze: You're the one chatting bullshit Fraze: For some who doesn't wanna be treated like a kid you're determined to act like one Bea: So clearly what you want Bea: Or you're just a prick talking down to me like I don't know life Bea: I know as much as you Bea: More Bea: Want to be clued in? Of course not, no one wants to hear that shit, not even my fucking 'hero' Fraze: Fuck's sake Fraze: You're a genius yeah? Happy now Bea: No Bea: Obviously not Fraze: Go get high then, that'll sort it Bea: Better than anything you've got to offer Fraze: Clearly Fraze: Don't let me keep you, off you fuck like Bea: Already am, don't flatter yourself that this was anything more than whiling away a train journey Fraze: Wouldn't dream of it, babe Bea: Sure we'll catch up next time I'm in town Bea: won't that be fun Fraze: Can't wait Bea: Toodles!

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