#Why is everything bleak all over the world all the time in veterinary medicine? why is there no silver lining anywhere?

[pigaletta]

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#Being in vet med is so damn bleak all the time because whenever you get hope there's always some drawback that basically nullifies it. #looking for a clinical pg with rank 183 in the country but whoops can't go to your own state #and other states universities will put you in a college in buttfuck nowhere rather than their best ones #like...I am so fucking tired. Every time I try to fight my depression something comes back and reinforces it harder. #it's things like this that make me want to leave the field and do something less heavy even if the hours are longer #whenever. WHENEVER I talk to a vet it's just bleak. Everything sucks everywhere. It's a matter of choosing your hell. #EVEN THE HAPPIER VETS #And there's no promise that if I try to go abroad I won't get crippling depression there too. #like. why do I try? why didn't I choose to go to NISER when I had the chance? #Why didn't I pick a job where I can just sit at a computer all day and not have to talk to anyone #how much do airport ground staff earn? maybe I could be a tug driver. Maybe I could have done some degree to become a flight mechanic. #why didn't I know when I finished school that my mental health is fragile as fuck and I need a job that doesn't make it this much worse #I'll run a photostat shop. I'll learn to fix laptops. Anything. #People raise families with that kind of income. Surely I can look after myself with it. #Why is everything bleak all over the world all the time in veterinary medicine? why is there no silver lining anywhere? #I'm sick of this. I'm sick of being decent at my job but not being able to handle the reality of how stressful it is. #I'll do any manual labour job day in and day out six and a half days a week for my whole life but this is just killing me #rant #I'm unrealistic and ungrateful and addicted to quick dopamine #but god I wish I wasn't suffering from depression of varying degrees since 2015. #vent #personal