#WHAT'S A NEURODIVERGENT BITCH TO DO. anyhow

[imminent-danger-came]

Hello friend. At first, I thought it was a joke that there's a Lego show that people love. I've seen you post about it a lot so I figure it's just one of those things that maybe a couple people really really love otherwise, whatever. But I just sat that clip of that characters death and it made me realize I know nothing about anything ever lol. What is the Lego show about? What do you love about it? I'm just super curious

Well. Okay. My embarrassment aside, I totally get it—it is a lego show, but it's my lego show and I'll gladly tell you about it!

(my apologies this got a little long)

*inhales cigarette* I remember starting to watch lmk (Lego Monkie Kid) and not expecting anything except some very pretty animation—it's just legos, right? And then it completely blindsided me. Then I did some digging and realized it's a modern retelling of Journey to the West (jttw—one of the great classic chinese novels), and that half of the whole reason this show exists is to retell a familiar tale to the modern age. That's how the show opens, and that's how s3 ends.

And, at the risk of sounding a little deranged, I'm going to say that the show being legos is thematically relevant. It legitimately adds to part of the story they're trying to tell—and the story Lego Monkie Kid is trying to tell is legitimately very solid. It's super good. They completely blew me out of the water with season 4.

So. The first special and s1 isn't anything too unique on a first watch through. The characters are charming and the show is very pretty, but it's nothing I'd write home about (though, 1x09 is very good—in my opinion—and 1x10, the season finale, builds plenty of intrigue).

But here's the thing: legitimately so much is set up in s1 and you don't even realize it, and it's STILL being re-contextualized well into s4.

So, then the s2 special happens right after s1, and it's like, alright! The plot seems to be going somewhere! We get introduced to a few more antagonists and the status quo from s1 is already somewhat disrupted. But then the last half of s2 comes around. And they're all bangers. 2x05 Minor Scale is GREAT. 2x06 is pure game motif. 2x07 gives us backstory and continues the main protags negative character arc. 2x08 is one of my favorites in the whole show. By this point you realize how consistent the character writing is if you've been paying attention. 2x09 is the beginning of the end. 2x10 ends the season on quite the cliff hanger, and it's like. HOLY SHIT. WHAT IS THIS ABSOLUTE GEM OF A SHOW.

s3 is lovely, and the end of the s3 special has one of my favorite scenes in anything. s4 is so ridiculously good. Lmk honestly has what I would consider to be god tier pacing. They have 10 minutes to achieve their goal, and by GOD are they going to do exactly that.

But like, what do I love about the show specifically?

The animation. The characters. The themes. I kid you not a major theme in s4 of the show is the fact that every single thing you do leads to pain. Being the hero or the villain, it doesn't matter—you cause suffering and destruction with every step you take. You hurt the people you care about. No, seriously. I'm not kidding. THAT'S one of the main focuses of s4, and oh boy is it a wild ride. You get used to legos crying. I am unironically expecting s5 of this show to be a tragedy.

I can not recommend it enough!

(If it's your thing that is! I TOTALLY get not being able to look past the legos, and the fast pacing isn't for everyone.)

Anyways, here's a bonus gif of Mei to end off!

#I think lmk's body count is like. 7 or 8 at this point? depending on who you consider dead? #I'm going to be honest I don't even see the fact that they're legos any more. They aren't legos to me. It's an art style. AN ART FORM #anyways this has been ''imp goes on a long rant about legos'' (like she does every day). you are welcome. #I really ought to dial it back on my tumblr blog #But that lmk s4 special really rocked my shit. #tdp s5 trailer came out yesterday #I'm just like. THEY'VE OVERLOADED MY SYSTEM AND IT'S SUMMER. #WHAT'S A NEURODIVERGENT BITCH TO DO. anyhow #thank you for asking my beloved mutual! #asks #lmk #lego monkie kid

[pendarksmindandmadness]

This was my line of thought on a thread about how men are shit at apologies.

******

My response can be applied to any identity. If one partner insists the other has ulterior motives or just wants to clear themselves of wrongdoing: they aren't going to accept any apology.

There is no proper apology for some people. "I'm sorry," is almost never enough. You get dragged into explaining because it isn't enough.

And, like me, some people (especially married or involved men with any type of neuro-divergence) hate confrontational dialog of any kind. Whether we are right or not, sorry or not, intended to hurt someone or not; we're always the bad guy because we "said it wrong."

We can be verbally abused and emotionally manipulated all day long, but if the one doing so should hear a sigh of exasperation or see you roll your eyes; prepare for a fight.

And there is never an ounce of give-a-shit given when men are kicked around like emitional soccer balls, then made to feel like shit when they finally speak up.

So, in the end, what's the point of apologizing in the first place. We know we're just going to have it thrown back at is anyway. We know there is nothing sufficient.

If I'm going to be considered the asshole regardless of what I say or do; then I might as well be seen as the asshole for just shutting down, closing off, and saying nothing.

But man, how people hate it when you deal with anger by walking away. It triggers a torrent of "you can't face it" or "you are scared to deal with it" statements.

Large leaps in logic like that are what I'm talking about. The partner "shouted back" at with several gigantic assumptions about why you said what you said.

They invariably follow it with character attack. They tell you what you "always do" or "have always been" and end with the classic "why are you in a relationship at all?"

So we go back to why say anything at all. It's that sort of bullshit backlash for expressing anything a woman might take offense at, that makes men shut down. (Or at least me. And I suspect most men with a neurodivergence.)

If I'm going to be called an asshole and have things assumed about me in the very first response; then why even talk? Because as you're the bad guy if you don't.

This damned if you do and damned if you don't scenario is why some men just go drink in a bar or get high instead of trying to work it out. Divorce may be on the horizon anyhow; so he might as well go out high.

There is nothing that can be said in a conversation that anyone takes the time to remotely consider the effect of; as long as it is said to men.

Emotional games go both ways. If I call her a bitch and hit a wall before walking it off, it all goes in a police report. If she had called him a bitch then actually slapped him, they'd have no issue with that. In fact, in a military relationship that goes south, they advise men to "suck it up." Cops treat it similarly.

And, guess which partner loses everything they own, including self-respect, in a nasty court battle. It won't be her. This has only started to change in the courts.

Apologies made, sincere apologies, regardless of how they are worded; are thrown right in the trash with the base assumption that there is no sincerity because of the eords used.

I agree that men suck at apology. We suck at it because we can't get it right. If it is never taken that way; it is useless to apologize.

You continue a cycle of assumptions about my intent and my character in the response. That leads me to the conclusion that no response would have been sufficient or accepted.

As to "women being emotional soccer balls," let's begin with the premise that men have no idea how to apologize. Or that they are automatically to blame for any relational strife.

Add the demonization of particularly a CIS-hetero male as everyone's enemy.  Add to that the clear disrespect of any man daring to speak up about this at all.

Compound it with the notion that assuming things about his character is automatically the default response.

Then, top it off with the FACT that a partner is all prepared to continue that cycle regardless of what the first partner says.

Do that in a marriage, and you have my original point. Men can't respond to anything without automatic assumption that they are lying, insincere, or attacking when they do respond.

An apology is a statement that acknowledges an action or statement that causes the recipient distress.

An apology is an attempt to rectify a situation.

An apology is given to express remorse for one's actions or words.

But... there cannot be an apology that is suitable, if every attempt is assumed to be false, a lie, or to have a hidden agenda.

To automatically discount any attempt and deflect it or ignore it based on the words used to commence the attempt completely eliminates the possibility of a clear dialog.

#thoughts #emotions #communication #neurodivergent #Pendark

[not-easy-being-green-124]

Apparently its late night neurodivergent talks with Annie.

Anyhow.

I've always known in the back of my head that people viewed stimming negatively, that people shamed autistic kids for how they interacted with the world, but in my mind it was always like...something that only really *bad* people did, or only with autistic children with high support needs. Not that it made it any better, i was still horrified by that. But like. I didn't realize? How much people...dont get our brains?

I think it took me finally realizing why people always laugh at me (good naturedly) or think I'm quirky or odd to realize that...damn. It’s kids like me.

I saw a comic the other day of an adult watching a little autistic child happy stim while floating around a yard and the adult was like "its such a shame they can't play normally" and like...that hit me so, so hard. Because I was (and am) that child. And like...i don't think you can fathom the sheer amount of joy and the depth of connection to the world that (some) of us feel when we happy stim like that. Thats...its so much more than normal. There's nothing wrong with that.

I don't really have a point, other than I really want to try and help people understand. I know what I felt when I happy stimmed as a child. I now know what I lost when I masked. Happy stimming is a beautiful thing.

And you know what? So is upset stimming. Its our built in coping mechanism. Yeah sometimes we need redirected from harmful behavior and such, but even upset stimming is...its not bad. Its our way of processing the world around us. Why....why is that seen as less than whatever the hell everyone else does (what does everyone else do?)

As I'm writing this, I am both baffled by the fact that NTs don't intuitively get this and then also remembering all the posts where people are like if you understand how an autistic brain works then you are autistic and....*slaps forehead* yeah, bitch, shoulda seen this coming.

Anyhow. That was a lot of rambles with little point. Pls don't come at me for anything that I'm writing at 12:15 am with a low-grade migraine. Im just processing stuff.

We struggle. We have difficulties in this world. We should not be romanticized or infantilized (i will come at you for that). We mess up.

But we are not trapped by some hellish illness that needs to be cured. Our minds our beautiful.

#autism #actually autsitic #i am a chronically ill autistic forest gremlin