#Very Funny Jokes in Hindi | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fartface025 · 22 days

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headcanon page bc i am the reverse 1999 fan of all time

assorted, pavzima flavor and kaalaa6 agenda.

erick ran into ttt once and conked her head fell unconscious. she didnt remember. ttt has never told anyone out of guilt. theres a conspicuous bump on her middle television. she feels so bad about it.

a knight likes to eat elk. jessica never finds out because he’s so fucking scared of her. like gloves shaking scared. she doesnt know. thinks hes just a cutie.

melania takes lilya’s advice to spike coffee with vodka for a kick. lilya is going to tease her, but she’s actually kinda scared because melania is one hundred percent cool with it. no gagging, no side effects.

arcana and druvis iii have fucked nasty.

forget me not would be trash at sex. hesd say the dumbest shit.

dikke and darley clatter fucking hate each other, nobody’s really sure why

sonetto likes leilani she thinks shes nice

sonetto doesnt like to purposefully loiter after a mission is complete, but vertin knows she wants to stay and do things. usually she lies and says they have business in whatever quaint coffee store sonetto’s been staring at, or at the carnival, or on the london wheel

john titor is the it guy. sputnik, the robot, and ttt all HATE him. “monthly checkup guys” “SCATTER!!!!”

nobody’s heard dikke swear so lilya jokes she must have a medieval swear she says. even a knight thinks she never swears, and he would know if she did. an an lee knows better, she once heard dikke say “fucking stupid ass fucking cretins.” (in reference to lilya and darley clatter deciding to headon fight like fifty monsters, immediately dying.) she looked at dikke. dikke had no response, no change in countenance. nobody would believe her.

aroace horrorpedia, but if he was capable of getting some he’d say some stupid shit when a girl/guy takes off their pants. same is true of diggers, who is very into anything, but gets no pussy because he once said “rocking” when a beautiful woman undressed for him.

NASTY SWEARERS, frequently (swear INCESSANTLY, and filthily, ranked by frequency) pavia, centurion, lilya, an-an lee, NONE of these people save pavia and lilya are allowed near children, centurion once took charlie on a roller coaster and it was maybe the worst experience of both their lives. pavia is exempted because mondlicht stalks him and he has nothing to make her stop. also matilda is so horrified by swearing and tells on them all. sonetto is also horrified but kinda intrigued.

NASTY SWEARERS, infrequently (swear rarely, but when they do its filthy) tennant (she learnt the term fuck nasty from ttt and then went on to use it on as many women as possible, accelerating language evolution in india and the uk), dikke (she likes to play with an an lee, who is still not sure who to tell), bkornblume (being free of censorship for the first time in a while is … encouraging), tooth fairy, vertin, satsuki, necrologist (rarely does but gets in a few nasty ones), kaalaa baunaa, shamane, kanjira, tooth fairy. (six doesnt really swear but he is captivated by the way she swears which is usually in hindi and absolutely vile.) melania, druvis.

TAME SWEARERS (frequent). madame z. APPLe loves saying shite, regulus loves saying shite, X says fuck, bunny bunny says aw shit, sotheby, john titor has her own equivalent, la source is la source.

TAME SWEARERS (infrequent). sotheby, ttt, sonetto, mesmer jr.

WOULD ACTUALLY DIE IF THEY SWORE: matilda swore once (ass) and then cried to kanjira.

kaalaa likes ttt because shes funny and lame as hell. so does kanjira. kanjira says GO WHITE GIRL GO and ttt gets tripped in her cable and cries. kaalaa helps her up but is also chuckling as she does so. shamane tells them to let up but he is also giggling.

sotheby and kanjira love picrasma candy.

six likes the flavor so does kaalaa. (im subliminally messaging you so fucking hard)

kaalaa explains what she thinks the stars mean and vedic astrology. six listens. hes genuinely interested. they talk abt astrophysicists and the math of it, the science of determining fate. fate is a strange concept for him. he is rather grateful theirs intersect.

sotheby finds out arcana and druvis are exes. it’s so over for druvis.

“why does the freaky ink lady call you beloved!” “How about we stop talking for a little bit” (about to tear her hair out)

bkornblume and lilya r dating, purely bc theyre that couple who goes we really liked ur vibe at the bar.

they did that to bunny bunny, who is acearo

37 fucking hates gogurt and shes gonna be so annoying about it. regulus nearly decks her clear on the face. “its not real yogurt” (seething regulus) “ILL REAL YOGURT YOU” (leaps and x has to restrain her)

regulus has eaten various knickknacks for missions. big bad villain comes out and says “HEY! what do ya think youre doing with that key!” vertin and sonetto swivel to look. regulus takes one look at the guy, vertin and sonetto, and immediately eats it. they have to magic school bus inside her guts to get it out.

X and regulus are girlfailure x boyboss and also he listens to the worst music of all time.

“regulus listen to this sick beat!” [angelic 2 the core by corey feldman]

spathodea loves melania theyre best friends. melania is 6 foot and can lift spathodea one arm. “SPATHY!” “MISS MELANIA!!!!”

the rollercoaster incident is so bad. theyre banned from that carnival.

rabies gets along w all the animals, esp pavia and zima’s. the haybale supports gay rights

click and necrologist are friends. sonetto and click are friends. necrologist and sonetto are friends

shamane teaches mondlicht to swim. mondlicht hates the water. like a lot.

kaalaa and shamane sit on the roof to stargaze even if the stars arent like the ones outside the suitcase

kaalaa can recite a variety of fables, and so can shamane. sometimes theres lightning in the suitcase, and they deal w the lil kids. kanjira scares them though

matilda and kanjira kissed bc matilda wanted to practice and kanjira doesnt mind. matilda learned things abt herself. kanjira also does but shes NEVER gonna tell anyone.

cristallo as ment in my prev post hangs out with leilani erick eagle and mondlicht.

erick is the famed mood killer of couples. pavia teasing zima about to get a reaction? “I gotta pee mr pavia can you take me there.” 6kaalaa bonding? “mr 6 we need to go i kicked some politician in the groin” vernetto really intimate moment? “ms timekeeper, whats it mean when you can see your kidney”

regulus HATES IT. shes abt to score in a movie theatre, and BOOM blondie kid.

pavia and mondlicht both can barely read but pavia’s a math god and mondlicht is an expert in biology and also has midwifed before because her village js mostly women. theyre both really smart.

pav and mond get help from eagle to read. zima teaches pav basic poetry. pav enjoys it.

pav and zima are exact same height.

cristallo wants to eat a burger one day

druvis and arcana have fucked nasty did i say that already. ungodly toxic. would do again

tooth fairy and madame z are very married. only time z went on a mission technically was to pick sotheby regulus and druvis up from jail. tooth fairy is deadpan. “hello sir we are these three minor children’s parents.” “yes, sir. very married.” (sotheby is SO dead for hitting that senator with her car)

charlie fucking loves rabies.

6KAALAA Explanation

6kaalaa explanation. 6kaalaa is basically its not that 6 is really repressed i think he would act the same way abt romance even if he wasnt 6. maybe more interested just bc its an interesting component of his existence.

i rock w both hcs abt demiromantic or asexual 6 and also ones where he is unlabelled, not averse to anything but not seeking romantic love. i see him as the latter but like.

theyre like pavzima. theyre not a romantic relationship as normally construed or imagined, but theyre def romantic in nature. they have a good friendship before they ever consider romantic entanglement.

6 is gen interested in kaalaa and vedic astrology, kaalaa finds his life interesting. also they have close familial dynamics in sophia 37 and 210, and kanjira and shamane.

i talked abt this w @anonymocha and how funny it would be w 6 meeting shamane and kanjira.

another discussion w anonymocha has made me confident. let me explain:

disclaimer, not an expert on kaalaa or 6, i missed mor pankh, i dont have kaalaa bur i know aspects of her character, 6 i am good friendship w did his story event when we had the 1.6 update, but havent gone past c5

HOWEVER!

LISTEN!

firstly, kaalaa is great at math. vedic astrology as she practices demands great skill as a mathematician. she’s qualified to be a professor. she has to be excellent at it to calculate planetary movement. compared to any average person, she’s a prodigy in this field. i feel confident saying that out of the cast members that aren’t of the 1.6 island, she’s one of the best mathematicians. (john titor i dont know much of, i would assume she is a great mathematician too)

headcanon: i see both kaalaa and 6 on the same scale of demiromanticism. 6 isnt averse to aesthetic attraction, but he doesnt seek or need romantic love, and i think the same is true of kaalaa (SUBJECTIVE! this is my idea), and i think sex is just a if it happens it happens. (though they wouldnt want it or seek it out most times.) i j think they both understand aesthetic appeal and kaalaa is rhe single most beautiful reverse 1999 woman. send tweet

kaalaa is an astrologist who depends on seeing fate into something that can arguably be attributed as math. math as fate…why does that sound familiar…

the difference is kaalaa is of the opinion fate can be altered or is divergent and is never cemented. atticus was defined by his destiny and it eventually fulfilled and became him, but he was resistant. and from what we see of him in his event story and his interaction w the other worshipper in his second story implies remaining elements of humanity and individuality from his identity as atticus, PLUS he was curious for sophia and her human normal behaviors. this intersection between two people who know fate and have it entwined in their life, who both know math well and use it to define a large part of their beings, but the main differences of preconceptions of fate and exposure to human emotion, culture and illogicality? it feels opportune for a story, especially with the islanders learning that human traits are good and make life worth living (personal thinf, i Love humans and our illogical persistent emotions. apathy is an emotion. we are inescapably made of them.)

i hope this doesnt sound like romantic love teaches someone to “be human”. i explained that i think of them as a close friendship that naturally becomes romantic in nature, but i dont see the romantic love as the Woahhh hes human now. i see it as this as well as exposure to arcanist and human culture and nuance (a journey that him and 37 embark on) informs his worldview and its really secondary to both kaalaa and 6’s familial love with groups who care about them dearly (kanjira and shamane, 37, sophia and 210). that last part sounds like headcanon but i think its another poit of connection

REGGHHJNNNHGHSHSBSBSBSHSNNANNAN J JSUT LIVE THEM. I LOBE THEM

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ashesandhackles · 2 months

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10, 15, 24, and 26 please, pal :)

Thanks for the fun questions eithne :D

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language?

For Hindi, going to concur with @padfootswhiskers and say "madarchod" (or even "behenchod" - sisterfucker- which you will hear often if you are in delhi) is very satisfying.

In Malayalam/Tamil - "mayir"(pubic hair) is one. But the odd one is "pulle' (which means grass. I always found this one hilarious - yelling at someone and calling them grass).

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?

The meme everyone here will get is: "POOJA WHAT IS THIS BEHAVIOUR?" And "HOW CAN SHE SLAP?"

Both from reality shows, and they were widely used as meme formats.

We have context based common sayings, such as - if you ask a really stupid question after every detail has been explained, we say something like, "Poori Ramayan khatam ho gayi (we finished the entire Ramayana)- and "you are asking this now?"

This particular bit is funny because the Indian epic of Ramayana is really LONG.

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country?

Bangladesh. The influx of refugees from Bangladesh in the states of Bengal and Assam are quite contentious issues in those state's politics, but it is often dealt in jokes by rest of the country. (In the similar vein of the kind of jokes western countries would make about finding Indian cab drivers everywhere)

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?

Yup. Well, I am generally quite tired of these things in Hollywood portrayals:

- we are not all Hindus, and not all Hindus worship Ganesha. I sometimes wonder whether this is because of the kind of class (which is also tied to caste) who can afford to move abroad.

- we are not all super religious. However, India is a country where religion is woven into the fabric of its culture - so those cultural markers are there.

- India is not just (outskirts of) Mumbai or Varanasi. India is a vast country - and we not only have the tropics, we, along with Nepal, Pakistan, house the belt of highest mountains in the world. Unless it's an explorer, I see very little interest in these parts of India. North East India gets very little attention on Bollywood itself (unless it's an indie movie), I don't know whether white people that part of Indian exists.

These are off the top of my head. I am sure there are more I have issues with.

I am not from US ask sets

#asks

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ga-yuu · 11 months

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Hi! I just wanna ask if you're from India? Just wanna make sure cause I saw it once on the blog description. The reason I ask is actually for a stupid reason. And feel free to ignore.

Lately, I've been coming across Indian tv scenes meme where people die by getting strangled ridiculously by the scarf getting caught in a fan of them getting slapped and pushed into it. Or one where a girl rescued a guy who fell and did many backflips in the air, by riding a large kite. Are these really what's in Indian tv show? I wanna know who their target audience is. And what they think about it?😅 I find it quite humourous and it gives me a good laugh.

OMG. Lol. Okay. I'm gonna rant okay! I'm also gonna be referring some tv shows and use show hindi terms that are very popular among these shows.

Indian tv serials or Indian tv dramas are EMBARRASSING AS HELL and I'm not proud to say that. If I could describe it in one sentence I would say---"It will give you a brain tumor, so please don't watch it."

About 90% or more, Indian tv serials are like that. I'm not joking. Let me tell you why?

Ekta Kapoor. Ekta Kapoor or Ekta didi (we'll call her like that!) is a very infamous name in India. She's basically a producer and has produced more than 100 tv serials. Apart from two or three good ones, the rest are dog shit. Also, all of them are soap operas. The problem with her tv serials is that, they don't have an identity. For example, let's take K-dramas or C-dramas. They have shows for different genres like romance, mystery, thriller, horror, historical etc. But when you take a look at most of the Indian shows, almost all of them have 'saas-bahu' melodrama ('saas' in hindi means 'mother-in-law' and 'bahu' in hindi means 'daughter-in-law') and nothing else. There is no actual plot or goal or even an ending. They don't even have a genre. For example, there is a tv serial called 'Sasural Simar Ka'. It started a normal soap opera melodramatic show, but then out of nowhere it ventured into supernatural stuff. Yeah, I'm not joking. Simar is the name of the main protagonist and is a normal human being who got married into a rich family (like every other ekta kpoor tv shows) and then after IDK 1000 episodes later, she turns in a fly. .....yep, I wish I was joking. You can check that on youtube if you don't believe me.

Seriously, the writers don't know what they're writing. They're just doing whatever to milk-out each episodes. Another problem with these shows is that, they just never want to end. Some shows starts with a good message but then after like 50 episodes when the message is conveyed and the goal is achieved, the best thing we must do for the show for it to remain as good as it is, is to end the fucking show, right? But Nope! They just keep going and going and going and going and going...I remember when I was nine years old, my mom used to watch this one serial called 'Yeh rishta kya kehla tha hain'. I finished my school and started college and the show was still going on. After reading your question, I simply googled to see if the serial was still on going but thankfully they ended it after 14 YEARS! WITH 4000+ EPISODES! 4 FUCKING THOUND EPISODES!!? WTF IS THIS EVEN ABOUT? One piece could never. Oh before I forget, 'Yeh rishta kya kehla tha hain' is also a soap opera. So as you see, unlike k-dramas that ends with about 20 to 22 episodes per season, Indian tv serials doesn't end. This also burdens the writers because they have to keep churning out new drama for each episode and after some time, its clear that they are running out of ideas. Writers are also human beings. If they are ordered to writer each episode everyday, they would obviously feel burned out and run out ideas, which would lead them writing shit like this:

youtube

and also the funny clips you saw on youtube. Unlike K-drama, whose episodes are once or twice a week, indian tv shows are daily (except for sat and sun) and there would be a watch party in my house which starts right after 6pm. 6pm is when my family pray and the tv would be on around that time, because my family members don't wanna miss a single scene. It starts at 6pm and ends at around 9 or 10pm on avg. depending on the number of serials they watch.

Now earlier when I said about Indian tv shows having no identity, well, almost all tv serials are centered around 'saas-bahu' drama. No matter what the story is, everything ends up being a story about a rich family wearing heavy makeup and saris and their boring household affairs where the daughter in laws and mother in laws try to conspire against each other for no reason and the men in these serials are nothing but props. Also there is always this grandma character who for some reason never dies despite having grandkids and those grandkids having grandkids and even if one of those grandkids die, this old lady never does.

Another thing, which I'm quite embarrassed to say is that, Ekta didi had been trying so hard to remake many popular american shows like the Vampire dairies and the Game of thrones. Now personally, I have not watched either of them. Ekta didi has tried remaking Vampire diaries and Twilight 3 times! The first one is called 'pyaar ki yeh ek kahaani' was something my sister used to watch. It was fine at first but soon becomes boring as hell. There is no story or setup or mythology, nothing. She just made it because she wanted to copy Twilight, because it was a blockbuster around that time. Her second attempt was 'Fanaah' and I don't remember it at all despite it having well known actors, it flopped so hard. Her third attempt and the most embarrassing one is the recent remake of the Vampire diaries who's name I don't even remember and I don't care to look it up, because I'm so embarrassed to even talk about it. Yeah, that's why.

You what's the best and worst thing about India? India is a country that has people speaking many languages. I come from the South and I speak Malayalam. There are other languages like Tamil, Telugu, Hindi, Kannada, Marathi, Gujarati etc. Although I don't speak most of them, I do understand them. That's great. But you know what is not great? The tv shows that I mentioned above, they are all in Hindi. Which means....THERE ARE TV SHOWS LIKE THAT FOR OTHER LANGUAGES AROUND INDIA! Like I said, I come from the south, so my family watches Malayalam tv shows and although they are not as cancerous as the hindi ones, they are still shit and the writers doesn't know when to end it. I swear to god, if my grandma understood every languages in this world, she would watch every tv serials like this forever.

Now the audience. Basically all ages can watch these. But, not everyone wants to. Especially we young teenagers and people with brains, don't wanna watch these kinds of serials because we know it's not worth our time. Instead of watching that, we'd rather waste our time watching a normal anime or manga or play games or even study. The only people who watch these are kids (as in babies) who don't know what the fuck is going on but watches them because others are watching it, grandparents because they don't have anything to do in life so they just watch for entertainment, and people who have no job irl and watch these shows just to taste that spicy drama that we don't get to taste irl. I mean, I won't blame them, who the hell would wash laptops in real life with a dish soap? They all gather and form a watch party and once this starts, no one is allowed to disturb them. My grandpa was bedridden, so my grandma would feed him dinner before 6pm every night so that he won't disturb her during her shows. My dad told me that the watch party is so intense that they won't even be conscious about their surroundings. He said "Even if a robber enters the house, steals the things around the house, makes coffee and leave, these idiots still won't know." and he's not exaggerating.

Also let me tell you, its not always been like this. In the earlier days, before Ekta didi became a producer, Indian tv serials were not like this. There used to be good tv serials with good messages and not to forget the epics 'Mahabarath' and 'Ramayana' these are literal gold even to this day. But now, Ekta didi is the Queen to indian television, so we can't do anything about it. :(

#asks #indian tv serials #ekta kapoor

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3kiripima3 · 2 months

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hii, i was wondering if you would be okay with doing a matchup?

I'm an entp, and bisexual with a lean towards men! I think i tend to come off as intimidating to a lot of people, but I'm pretty nice when i get to know people. I'm very protective about the people i care about, and get very heated trying to defend them. I'm very quick tempered, and sometimes get overwhelmed too quickly. I'm also decently funny and quick-witted, and a little loud when I'm around my friends. i struggle with my depression and bpd

I'm pretty versatile with hobbies, i love studying biology, and reading or writing as a way to express myself. I also enjoy physical hobbies like boxing and martial arts. as for music, I'm pretty open. i like learning languages, and speak english, finnish, french and hindi fluently. i listen to artists like the waterparks, Paramore, pierce the veil and Kendrick Lamar. anything but country.

thank you so much for taking the time to read this, and I'll appreciate any answer you provide! have a nice day <33

Hiya! Thanks for the request! After some consideration, I think I'd pair you with…

Sir Pentious!

This was pretty difficult, honestly, but I think you and Sir Pentious would work pretty well together.

As Sir Pentious happens to not be all that brave when around intimidating people, I think it'd take a little while for him to warm up to you, but once he does…

He'd appreciate anyone willing to be nice to him and especially people who'd defend him, like you. I think Sir Pentious would enjoy being around someone funny who doesn't just make sex jokes.

I see Sir Pentious as the type of person to really enjoy reading, despite occasionally struggling to understand things. So, if you were to end up reading together, you'd have to expect a few questions on certain word choices. He'd not particularly enjoy physical hobbies if they are likely to get him hurt but he will gladly watch and try if you ask him. Just expect to have to help him a lot.

I personally think Sir Pentious would know a certain amount of French, but he'd love to become fluent in another language for the purpose of seeming tougher. He'd likely ask you to teach him a language or learn one alongside him.

Sir Pentious would not really have a similar music taste and a lot of modern music sounds outlandish to him. Yet, if you introduced him to any of your favourite music, he'd probably end up loving it.

Thanks for requesting! I hope this is good enough for you :) (Also, your music taste is amazing!)

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin matchups

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veryfunnyjokesihindi · 1 year

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Very Funny Jokes In Hindi.

पत्नी (पति से)- पूरा दिन बस क्रिकेट, क्रिकेट, क्रिकेट...मैं घर छोड़ कर जा रही हूं.

पति (कमेंट्री करते हुए)- पहली बार कदमों का बेहतरीन इस्तेमाल.

पत्नी - अगर मैं मर गई तो तुम क्या करोगे?

पति - शायद मै भी मर जाऊं... . पत्नी - क्यों?

पति - कभी-कभी ज्यादा खुशी भी जानलेवा होती है...!!

पति: क्या बात है तुम इतनी परेशान क्यों हो? पत्नी: मुन्ने ने एक का सिक्का निगल लिया है.

पति: निगलने दो, आजकल एक रुपए का आता ही क्या है!

पति- प्यास लगी है पानी लेके आओ.. पत्नी- क्यों ना आज तुम्हें मटर पनीर और शाही पुलाव बनाकर खिलाऊं. पति- वाह वाह...! मुंह में पानी आ गया.. पत्नी- आ गया ना मुंह में पानी बस इसी से काम चला लो.

Majedar Chutkule Jokes In Hindi.

मास्टर जी – एक तरफ पैसा और दूसरी तरफ अक्ल… बताओ चिंटू तुम क्या चुनोगे? चिंटू – पैसा मास्टर जी – गलत, मैं तो अक्ल चुनता। चिंटू – आपकी बात भी सही है, क्योंकि जिसके पास जो चीज नहीं होगी, वो वही चुनेगा।

मास्टर जी – चिंटू, बताओ बिल्ली पूंछ क्यों हिलाती है? चिंटू – क्योंकि, पूंछ बिल्ली की है।

मास्टर जी – चिंटू, अपने पापा का नाम अंग्रेजी में बताओ चिंटू – ब्यूटिफुल रेड अंडरवियर मास्टर जी – नालायक हिंदी में बताओ चिंटू – सुंदर लाल चड्ढा

Very Funny Jokes

मास्टर जी – बच्चों, इतिहास से हमें पता चलता है कि हमारे पूर्वज बन्दर थे तभी चिंटू का जाट मित्र गुस्से में लाल होते हुए, थारे होंगे, मारे तो चौधरी थे

AAj ki Sachhai ladka bahut achha dress pehna hai.. Ladki:- Sach.. Ladka:- Lipestik bhi bahut achi hai.. Ladki:- Thank you . Ladka:-makup bhi kaffi achaa hai Ladki:- Thanks you bhaiya.. Ladka:- kamal hai fhir bhi sunder nahi lag rahi ho !! very funny jokes in hindi

Aek bar kejriwal ji pansari ki Dukan per gaye.. kajriwal ji:- Biskut dena bhai sab Dukandar:- Sahab Good Day de du kya ? kajriwal:- Good day yani achhe din Dukandar:- Sale sab ke sab modi ke ajent hai !!

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awkward-and-indecisive · 2 years

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HAPPIEST FUCKING BIRTHDAY CHAN!!!

Fair warning before you proceed. I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense because I’m literally crying over here. I’m a blubbering mess because I love you so much and all I want to do rn is squish you in the biggest of hugs but I can’t so here’s some very long emo rambling from me.

I mean, what do I even say? How do I explain in words how much you mean to me? To me, you are literally a blessing. I would be so utterly lost without you that I’m scared to even think what if I never met you on this hellsite. It only has been a bit over a year since I’ve know but what a fucking year it has been.

You literally thirsted with me over Jensen Snackles and then encouraged me to write my first ever fic and I'm so grateful to you for that because if it hadn’t been for you then I never would’ve realised how much I love writing. You beta all my fics and are always so excited about any ideas I get. You kick my self doubt in the ass and are always so supportive of whatever I do. You literally do not have to do all of this but you still do and it just makes me fall in love with you even more. It just shows how gorgeous of a soul you are.

You let me rant, cry, scream, tease and flirt with you all I want and never once judge me. Not even when I crack my stupid lame jokes. I love listening to you talk about your day and fanfiction worthy college drama. Just simply exchanging memes with you has been the highlight of my shitty days.

You also act like a twitter filter for me 😂 and I don’t think I’ll ever forget that Soldier Boy edit I made that you made me post 💀. I just hope to god nobody ever sees it 💀

I have never been the kind of person who thinks a few years ahead because I know that nothing ever lasts forever or even a few months, let alone years. But if I know one thing, if there’s one thing that I can feel deep in my bones, is that I can always see you being a part of my future. I can always imagine ranting to you, laughing at stupid things with you, flirt with you using cheesy hindi lines, going crazy over new wip ideas, thirsting over men, screaming when Taylor drops something new, telling you about stupid things that happen in everyday life.

I don’t know if you know this but I absolutely love your writing. That birthday fic that you wrote for me has literally become one of my comfort fics and I always find myself reading it every few days. It’s just THAT good and your writing is just THAT good.

You are kind, smart as fuck (just look at your college course and how well you do), funny, sassy, beautiful (i don’t clearly remember your face but i know the comment i made that made you slide in my dm’s 😏 and i still stand by it 😤), cute, so lovable that i literally want to squish you. I can run out of words but not run out of things that I love and admire about you. You’re beautiful in every aspect.

I’m honoured to know you, not only as my girlfriend, but as another human. I know you’re not good with words, neither am I, which is very funny seeing as how we both are writers, 💀 but you don’t have to say shit for me to feel it. I can feel your love and support and care for me just through a screen while being hundreds of miles apart.

I may not have all the knowledge about murdering someone and getting away with it like you, but i do know that if someone messes with you, then i bet my non-existent ass they can talk to my fists and the wall when i bash their head through it.

I may never get to know your face or your voice, but I'll love you forever. Your face and voice doesn’t matter (okay i don’t mean it like that. They do matter. Very much. Yk what i’m trying to say. Stop laughing at me being a dumbass!). I wouldn’t love you any differently than I do now. But that doesn't mean that I don't want to give you the biggest hug!!! 😩 *goes to earn money so she can visit you*

I love how we literally went from strangers to thirst partners to a writer and beta to friends to best friends to now girlfriends 😏. I wouldn’t want anyone else to have this 180k, multi chapter, slow burn fanfic journey with anyone else other than you. I just hope we only go forward from here. Fyi that means wives 😂

Thank you for making my life brighter. Thank you for making me experience that ZNMD wali dosti. Thank you for loving me in the purest way. Thank you. Thank you for everything you have done for me, keep doing, and will do in the future. And these are just some of the things I’ve mentioned that you do for me. There are a million others that you do that I know of. Million others that I don’t even know you do. It’s just I feel you’re here and everything gets better. I start smiling and having hope for this shitty world. The dark parts of me brighten.

So today on your birthday, I wish you all the best things in the world. I wish you immense happiness. I wish you the purest form of love that’s right out of one of your fics (NOT THE ANGSTY ONES!!! THE GOOD, HAPPY, FLUFFY, AND HEART MELTING LOVE!!!). I wish you all the light and laughter and good health. But most importantly, I wish you zero bus accidents 😭💀

I love you. More than you can imagine. More than I can imagine.

Love

Your ‘behen’ 😒 (yes i’m never letting go of this and imma tease you till the end of times)

Abby

P. S. Here are some memes to tell you how much I love you because I’m shit at telling how I feel with words.

I almost forgot to tag you 😭😭😭

@msmarvelouswinchester

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memesmaza · 1 year

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Funny Indian Memes - Memesmaza

Explore the best meme's in Memesmaz@. Now you can have the MEMES of your Dreams. Hindi memes, English memes, Knowledge memes, Love Quotes.

#english memes #memes funny #very funny jokes in hindi #best love quotes in english #best love quotes in hindi

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bbarican · 2 years

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on today's episode of: b & her romantic adventures

okay so bUCKLE UP YOU GUYS kasi medyo chaotic (i think in a good way) tong kwento ko about the guy im currently talking to

so, back track to how we met:

i posted on reddit (lets be frank here and i wanna be transparent, yes, i downloaded reddit for only one reason and that is to use it as a bumble extension - basically para maghanap ng lalaki)

the title of my post was "make me laugh" and this guy messaged me saying "sabihin mo knock knock" and i did and basically the whole joke was that nabaliktad yung "joke" kasi ako yung nag knock knock and tbh it was super fucking funny kasi nga it was so witty

we ended up talking and we clicked right off the bat and i could just sense right away na he was a no bullshit kind of guy; as in its super scary na sobrang tugma yung ugali namin and yung sense of humor namin (alam niyo yan, thats my biggest plus point)

whats also scary is - medyo same sila ng background ng ex ko: same line of work, same shift every night, same age, same ugali halos but im not dwelling on it that much

THIS IS WHERE IT GETS CRAZY: we were talking about sending each other photos na of ourselves tapos the moment he sent me a selfie of his, nagulat ako kasi SHUTANGINA NAG MATCH DIN KAMI SA BUMBLE JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO BEFORE WE STARTED TALKING SA REDDIT

like what are the fucking odds of that happening? how insanely coincidental diba? as in gulat na gulat kami and tbh as a very emotionally driven girl (and tbh the fact na talagang nangyari yun out of nowhere) makes me think na we were meant to meet each other

kasi wala naman siyang photo sa reddit, ako din walang photo, sa bumble we didnt message each other yet nag hi lang ako pero di pa siya nagrereply, tapos mangyayari yun? nako po lord ito na po ba yun

so yun, we've been getting to know each other na din naman, and my first impressions about him is that: sobrang confident niya about himself pero hindi siya mayabang which i really like, tapos nagkukusa siya, hindi yung napapafeel niya sakin na ako lang ang may gustong tumuloy nung convo

so yeah, its really exciting tbh and i really hope we get to talk more and to get to know each other even deeper and regardless of what happens, im just happy na i met someone new!

important thing to note: he's looking for the same thing as i am (a serious, genuine relationship) so i guess we're on the right track

#love #updates #reddit

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hindi-jokes-adda · 6 months

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benefits1986 · 7 months

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Maroon x Blue Sunday Lovin'

Side Note: This was penned right after the game and debrief with second dad. So yes, late post, yet again. Was talking to my second dad after getting home as he can still outrun millennials on a full court basketball game. LOL. He even joked that during their time, height is not an advantage. Also, those hey days were spent in no less than Katipunan. He pushed the envelope further saying that he used to watch games live but traffic is just so bad; and he's glad that he didn't get a cardiac arrest live via satellite, too. There goes today's game debriefing. Later, I slid a note about how maroon mixes so well with blue. Ang ganda. Parang kumikinang siya sa mata ko.

Meanwhile, a friend who is a legit UAAP fan slid a DM asking since when I became a fan. This is a really funny story, sobrang babaw to be precise. Back in college I sighed over the thought of going to a game to represent your school in UAAP basketball. It's like a euphoric pill I can not swallow because I am but an outsider. One of the reasons why I commute from Las Pinas to Diliman is because I wanted to watch a game live and to cheer for my school. HAHAHAHAHHA. Never mind that I'm but a graduate school student with 36 units down and a thesis that's left to rot. Never mind that I still feel like an outsider. There's something about this little dream turned reality that makes me really giddy.

Going back to second dad... I found an opening to say that blue looks more and more tempting. Of course, he whacked back saying that I already have blue in my blood, only from Leon Guinto. UGH. And that, my LS dream will just turn my heart black. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. He reminded me that he gave it a try himself and that I just need to focus on my digital game. LOL. Eto na naman po kami ng second dad ko. Nagde-debate na naman na akala mo totoong anak niya ako. JUSQ. I knew what he means naman. But, I didn't back down saying that since I'm dabbling with AI, I'm wondering if using it in LS will make things better and faster.

One of the things I shared to him was that I'd most likely fail the exam. He said: Panigurado papasa ka. I was taken aback since I feel like I'm so clunky and can be labelled as sakto lang in all things I do. Ang bitbit ko lang is my intention, thus being intentional. (Redundancy is the key to me. CHZ.)

So, what's my take on today's game?

Hindi ako pikon. Start pa lang, I said sana matawid ng UP pero I have a hunch this would either be a close and tough fight OR we'll go home without the bacon.

Also, ang ganda ng galaw ng Katips. Pero, and weird lang din ng mga tawag. Unli freethrow Sunday po tayo, ladies and chemenemen. In fairness, may certain certainty bawat bitaw ng Blue Eagles. 'Yung tipong humihinga muna, sisipat, saka babato. Dagdagan mo pa ng dasal na may Jesuit vibe 'yan. I even saw a few female lolas na nag-antanda bago mag-game. HAHAHAHA. Heswita pong tunay. Tabi na agad Maroons. LOL.

UP naman today parang more of instincts and tactics. LOLOLLOLLOLLOLL. Sorry but true. This is only the second live game I watched. The first is the UP-Ateneo final game a few years back. I don't follow UAAP in general unlike my college days. Wala lang. Gusto ko lang talaga salpukan ng maroon and blue. Ganda. Visual appeal: 1000000. The stark contrast is such a vibe. The cool blues and the heated maroons.

Lemme add that the school hymns and cheers actually show that legit stark contrast. 'Yung Maroons, very high horse na emotionally packed. Medyo bordering na ng you can't sit with us. Ganun din naman Blue Eagles kaso mas subtle and mas brainy and poetic. LOL. Gets ba? Same alley but different store fronts and merchs. EMS. Me to myself: UP pa U-U-U pa kayo, U-WI tuloy tayo neto. Hahahaha. Also me: Buti na lang nanalo Katips para choosing the school won't need a spoonful of sugar that night. Also me ulit: Win or lose, it's maroon I CHZ. Tabi.

I won't go down the commentary route because that's not my cup of tea. My voice is raspy because it's just so nice to let loose after so much work and personal stuff that's happening. I just need a distraction. Watching games live is an experience on its own. Parang may pasavogue and of course, seeing the asses of players who perform is cute; walang pagnanasa. Saka, true pa rin, napapansin ko lang players kapag may silbi sila sa game like my super crush LA Tenorio. Mula noon, hanggang ngayon. Masipag. Maangas. Grounded. Magaling mag-English and Tagalog. Simple pero bumabaon. Ganern. 'Di ko sure if perky ba ass niya kasi ilong niya nakikita kong nauuna e. LOL.

BTW, I saw the shushing up close. In fairness to the Atenistas, unbothered. ALAVEETTTT. 'Yan ang isang strength nila. Tahimik lang pero 'pag may magandang play, they babble. CHZ. And it's so fun to be near the side of Ateneo, too. Nag-sorry pa 'yung girl sa unahan ko nung natalo. I replied naman that deserving sa win and that it's just a game. She smiled back. Hihihihihihihi.

I wanna see UP and Ateneo in the finals!!!

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literallyjustcrushposting · 9 months

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the elaborate delusion where he marries someone else and only realized afterwards that he's been in love with me the whole time

He closes the door behind him and just like that the chaos of their class reunion fades with it, leaving only her racing heart as company, its pulse loud in her ears. She almost expects him to ask about it because it seems impossible that only she can hear the sound of her heart running away from her chest, but no, he only turns to her and sighs, rakes a hand through his hair.

She, as always, cannot help staring.

“Uy, ano meron, bro?” she asks, in a valiant effort to distract herself from staring even longer.

“It’s stupid,” he mutters, still not looking at her. “Sorry. I don’t—”

“Hey. I’m sure it isn’t.” She steps closer and tugs his arm, pulling his hand from his hair, now disheveled beyond saving. She does it very casually, she is pleased to say, in the way friends do, and she absolutely does not telegraph any of her ever-simmering need to touch him. “What’s wrong?”

Her soothing seems to have done more harm than good, though. He shrinks from her touch, looking even more pained. “You’ll hate me. I know you will.”

She almost laughs. Her, hate him? Does he not know? Does he not remember? Fool, she thinks, but my fool. “Try me.”

“You’ll hate me,” he says again. “You will.” He shakes his head, starts turning away from her. “This was a stupid idea, I’m sorry—”

She pokes him in the cheek. She pretends her heart does not quicken at this tiniest instance of skin contact. “Girl, how long have we been friends? If anything, you should be the one hating me, remember? The stapler?”

Plus a million other things that she also hates herself for, but he always cheers at the mention of the stapler incident, and this quirk of life holds true, even here, even now.

He huffs a reluctant laugh. “Kasalanan ko rin naman ‘yun, bro. But this is different—this isn’t—”

“Oh my god, sabihin mo na nga,” she says, rolling her eyes, but she knew he could discern the real worry underneath her flippant facade. “I can’t take any more suspense, bro.”

He covers his eyes. “Don’t hate me.”

“Bingi ka ba? Of course not. Now out with it.”

He mumbles something she can’t decipher.

“Bestie,” she says, arching an eyebrow, “you know my hearing is terrible. Louder, please.”

He lets his hand fall from his eyes, lets out an exhale that seems to carry the entire weight of Atlas’ burden, and fixes his gaze on the ceiling.

To that very same ceiling, he says, “I’m in love with you.”

She blinks. “I’m sorry?”

“I’m in love with you,” he repeats.

There is a long pause that stretches into eternity.

She is trying to comprehend his words. She can understand them individually, of course; she is a writer and these are simple words, elementary-level vocabulary. She understands them as a sentence, too. Love stories have been her bread and butter for her whole life, and over the decades she has glutted herself on the most heart-rending to the most cheesy love confessions.

It is the person saying this that confuses her. It is the person who this is being directed to that confuses her.

Clearly, there has been a mistake.

“That’s not funny,” she says, as calmly as she can, but she thinks she fails because her voice sounds too flat.

“What—I’m not joking,” he exclaims.

She ignores him. “Who dared you to do this?” She thinks. “Not my friends, they know better. Who else knows? Oh—wait, onga ‘no, you guys were talking to Gago 1 and Gago 2 kanina. Naaalala pa nila yung nangyari sa retreat?” She laughs harshly. “I’m going to kill you, and then them, and then myself.”

“Hindi ‘to biro, bro.”

She scoffs. “Sure.”

“I’m serious,” he snaps, and—is that hurt in his tone? “I wouldn’t joke about this kind of thing, alam mo naman ‘yun, bro. Ano tingin mo sa’kin?” He runs his hands through his hair again. “Look, okay, I think I’ve been in love with you since our last year in high school.”

On instinct, she says, “Weh, ‘di nga.” Then she fully processes what he said. “You think you what? Bullshit. You’re lying.”

“See,” he mutters, “I knew this was a stupid idea. Sorry. Let’s just forget this ever happened, how about that—”

A complete thought finally crystallizes in her screaming head, and she gasps.

“Bitch, you’re married!”

“I know! That’s why I said it was so stupid!”

“I thought you meant stupid as in you wanted to backflip into the pool! How dare you! You’re married!”

“I told you you’d hate me,” he says through gritted teeth. “But it’s true, okay? And I don’t think that anything I’ve ever felt for her has ever really compared to how you make me—”

She smacks his arm and he yelps. “Bitch,” she half-yells, “don’t talk about your wife like that!”

“I’m sorry! But for real! I realized one day that I was happiest around you than anybody else, that when you were gone I would miss you more than anybody else, that I worried about you more than anybody else. And then once I realized that, everything else suddenly fell into place, okay? I don’t know, bro!”

She smacked him again, harder. “You are not allowed to be romantic towards me! I may be in love with you too, pero may asawa ka na, bitch, save that speech for her! I didn’t ask to be a homewrecker!”

He threw up his hands. “See! Kaya nga ayokong aminin sa’yo—”

And then all of a sudden he falls silent.

“O, ano na,” she snaps. “Tapos ka na ba? May sasabihin ka pa ba? You’re only digging yourself a deeper grave with every sentence that comes out of your mouth—”

And then he says, so quietly that she almost misses it: “You’re in love with me too?”

She—has never wanted to strangle him more. “Yes? Why are you so surprised, I literally confessed to you in our last year of high school, my other crushes were all so shallow that they fizzled out within days, none of my dates ever worked out because I kept wishing they were you! This morning I let you choose the music even though I knew you were either gonna play boring classical music or cringe anime OSTs! Gagi, of course I’m in love with you, you stupid idiot!”

He stares at her. “Oh,” he says. And then: “This is a disaster.”

She nods, eyes flashing. “A disaster of your own making, so make your bed and lie in it, bitch.”

“You keep swearing,” he says faintly. “I’ve never heard you swear so much before.”

“You’re special like that.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t you dare take that as a compliment—oh my god.”

“I’m sorry, it’s not like I can control my blood vessels!”

“Stop that! Oh my god, stop blushing!”

And then there is silence again, unbearable and suffocating.

She fidgets, can’t bring herself to speak—what could she even say when the echoes of his confession still race through her head? She doesn’t know what to think, feel: it cannot be real, can it? Not when she has already taken his lack of reciprocation for granted. It can’t be real. It was safe to yearn from afar—a painful, beautiful safety, but safety all the same. And now for him to come and upend her whole world with a few impassioned words?

What comes next is not an accident, not exactly, but it isn’t entirely thought through, either.

“Are you really—you know?” she whispers.

“In love with you?” he asks, just as quietly.

She nods. Clenches her fists so that they do not tremble.

He exhales. And then he finally looks her in the eye, and she almost cannot breathe from the open tenderness on his face. “I am,” he says. “I am, God help me, I really am.”

“I won’t be a homewrecker. No matter what. I hope you knew that already.”

“I did guess, yeah. Di ka naman ganun e.”

“So what was the point of all this?”

“...I don’t know.” He sighs. “I guess I just... it’s been building for so long, and seeing you tonight, it was like I had to tell you. Literally no one else knows. It’s been eating me alive.”

“I don’t know what to do, either.” She stares at her shoes. They are high-heeled silver; with them on she is only two or so inches beneath him. “So.”

“So,” he echoes.

The sound of IZ*ONE’s Panorama. A wave of yelling comes from outside their little room.

“Oh, we’re going to miss his dance,” he says dumbly.

She... couldn’t really give a fuck. “If you even think we’re done—”

“I know, I know.” He sighs again. “It’s my fault anyways. I won’t just leave it unfinished between us.”

“Hey,” she starts, hesitant.

“Hm?”

She is about to make the worst mistake of her life.

“Maybe...” She makes herself meet his eyes. “I don’t know. But just once, maybe we can—”

His face is blank. He is not picking up what she is putting down.

She sighs. “Kailangan ko pa bang sabihin?”

No change. Only more confusion.

“Oh, fine,” she grumbles.

She closes the last few inches between them and yanks him down to crash her lips against his. Oh, she feels him whisper against her mouth, and then a soft sound of contentment. He melts into her arms, and she keeps on kissing him, fingers tangling through mussed hair.

She has dreamed of this for ages, imagined every aspect of his kiss. This fantasy is a well-familiar one.

But it pales to the real thing. Her fantasies are alright, she supposes. But with this one kiss, she’s got fuel for the next five years.

The feel of him is addicting. He’s got no idea how long she’s been wanting to touch him, and now she almost shivers with every pass of her skin against his, with every open of her body to his. He yields to her so beautifully and she almost wants to cry. She has been denied this for so long, and to have it finally within reach feels unreal. She knows that what they are doing is wrong, but now that she has tasted him she knows she can not stop, will never be able to stop.

She prays an apology against his mouth.

All the communion wine in the world will never erase the sin of this kiss.

#futures

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