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[adamwatchesmovies]

Mazes and Monsters (1982)

Woah, check out this DVD! Mazes and Monsters, with a big picture of handsome Tom Hanks, a giant labyrinth in front of a castle, and what’s this? Dragons in the background? Looks pretty exciting.

I’ve got some bad news for you. None of those images are in this movie. What we have here is a cautionary tale about the biggest threat to our children since Batman and Robin advanced the sinister homosexual agenda into becoming gay and rock-n-roll turned obedient students into delinquents. We’re talking about the evil that is Dungeons & Dragons!

The plot concerns a group of college students who play a fantasy role-playing game called Mazes and Monsters. What begins as a harmless way to make friends takes a dark twist when someone takes things too seriously and “these characters are then plunged into an imaginary world of invented terror”.

You’ve got to be extremely paranoid, naïve, or delusional to think this plot is even mildly probable. It's also - unfortunately - not nearly as cartoonish as you wish it were. I wanted Tom Hanks to turn into a mad lunatic, going around the streets of his hometown slashing at mailmen with a meat cleaver screaming about gaining experience points. There are plenty of moments of unintentional hilarity as everyone overreacts to what's happening but this movie would be nothing if it weren't for an embarrassing entry in Tom Hank's filmography.

This film's message is all bent out of shape. On the one hand, we have young, bright students with a promising future becoming “The victim of a seemingly innocent game”, a game where the objective is to “amass a fortune without being killed” but deals mostly with “Swords, poison, spells, battles, maiming, killing”. The students say that it’s harmless. The police ask if it's possible when “Mazes and Monsters is a far-out game”. If you apply critical thinking to this plot, you’ll see that for the most part, the players deal with their insecurities, stretch their imagination, and form lasting friendships through this RPG. One guy goes loopy, but he had mental issues BEFORE it all happened. You’d think that if the game was THAT damaging to our youths, they’d all go mad.

Tom Hanks is pretty good, but he overacts in some scenes that would be embarrassing for anyone. There are some neat gags throughout with Chris Makepeace as JayJay, a prodigy who likes to wear funny hats and has a trained bird to speak. I’ll give the script credit for the character development and (mostly) realistic characters and relationships. As a bad movie - which this ultimately is - there are many funny, quotable lines and moments. I can’t help but laugh at the sight of Robbie (Hanks) attacking some made-up monster called a Gorville and at how quickly the police are eager to give up or link the game with murder and suicide.

Any well-intentioned movie that misses its mark spectacularly equals fun at its expense. Unfortunately, we never reach Reefer Madness levels. To get the full experience out of Mazes and Monsters, you need to set up an elaborate trick. Go to a video store where they have it in stock, point it out to your friend and have them buy it for you - it won’t be any more than $5. Bring it home, watch it together. Bask in their horrified and puzzled looks while you enjoy the quotable script. (On DVD, October 9, 2015)

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