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bigfrozenfan-fanfics · 3 years

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Chapter 15 - Valley of the Living Rock

Links: Chapter overview, Character list, Map, Glossar Rating: M over all Publishing cycle: each Friday at 6:00 pm CEST dst/UTC +2:00 on (link) Remarks: all my chapters contain carefully selected music tracks. It’s your own decision if you want to use them or not while reading. The purpose is to musically support the respective mood of the plot. If you can please use a browser for reading (not the Tumblr app) due to the text formatting and music.

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Elsa could not avert her gaze as they passed the ice palace on her left about an hour after dark. She had placed her forearms on top of each other on the side of the wagon and supported her chin on her left hand while she visibly enjoyed the sight. A pale blue glow lit up the palace from the inside and made the filigree structure visible from afar. It was like a beacon in the night and beautiful to look at.

“This is what I should have created?” she asked Anna softly, “It is simply fantastic.”

“Yes, that was you, Elsa, all alone. I'll have to tell you the long story about it sometime after. It was your refuge and is now the home of Marshmallow and the Snowgies.”

Elsa turned to her with a questioning expression on her face. But Anna laid a hand on hers before she could ask for it and said, smiling, “Be patient. It's an exciting as well as funny story and you'll certainly have many more questions about it.”

Elsa nodded and turned around again afterwards. “All right", she said very quietly and, "I'd love to have a look at it from the inside,” more to herself than to Anna.

But Anna had heard it and said almost as softly, “You will, sis. We will visit your palace together. Hopefully very soon.”

Suddenly Anna remembered all the events when she was looking for her sister back then. Except for the pure beauty of the palace itself and the fact that she had met Kristoff on her arduous journey, however, she did not have very pleasant memories of it and she was somehow glad that Elsa did not insist on her story right now. There was plenty of time for that in another day; she thought.

But it wouldn't be easy for her to reopen her past, she knew that for sure now. She bit her lower lip slightly as she thought about it, but quickly shook the thought off again. There were more important things to do now and soon they would reach the Valley of the Living Rock. Her eyes fell on Olaf, who was sitting directly opposite her. Somehow he seemed to know exactly what she was thinking, for he nodded at her in a knowing way and looked at her sympathetically.

But as if she had guessed the right moment in advance, Kristoff just called forward in a loud voice and asked Mattias to come back to him. Both wagons stopped and Mattias rode to his side.

“I know a shortcut and we have to turn off further ahead soon. The path is hard to see, especially now in the dark. It's best if I get in front of your wagon and drive ahead. Sven also knows the way and will lead us there safely.”

“All right, Kristoff. I'll let my people know up front, and we'll come after you. How long will it take us to get there?”

“A little over an hour, I'd say. We'll have to walk the rest as soon as the road is too narrow for the wagons. Besides, the area is very rocky and there are active geysers there.”

Kristoff saw, in the flickering light of the lantern hanging outside the wagon, how Mattias looked at him in astonishment, finally just nodded and rode back. Kristoff pulled up slowly when he saw Mattias waving. The wagon in front also had a lantern hanging on the outside and as he drove by he saw two sceptical looking faces. Trygve and Kristina were obviously not very eager to meet living legends from an ancient fable story in the middle of the night. He nodded at them smiling, “Don't worry, folks. The trolls are harmless. I grew up among them.”

But Kristoff did not see them grinning at each other anymore and Trygve tapped his temple with his finger and shook his head.

Olaf climbed to the front beside Kristoff and laughed in his inimitable way: “I am looking forward to seeing everyone again, especially the little ones. They're always so funny.”

Kristoff looked over at him and was about to answer him when Anna's head appeared between them and said to Kristoff conspiratorially quietly, “Kristoff, I think it's better if you go ahead later and make sure that only Grand Pabbie is waiting for us alone. I don't want Elsa to be frightened. You know how trolls are. Maybe you should warn him about her condition right away.” Turning to Olaf, she quickly added, “I'm sorry, Olaf, but you won't be able to see the little ones tonight.”

“Never mind, Anna, we'll visit them some other time soon,” he returned happily and laughed at her.

Anna looked at Kristoff again and he nodded. “All right, Anna. I hadn't thought of that yet.”

She put a hand on his shoulder with a smile. “Thanks, honey.”

When she sat back down again, Elsa grabbed her arm and asked, “Trolls? We are going to see trolls now?”

Anna pressed her lips together with raised eyebrows and wide open eyes and felt caught. Kristoff hadn't exactly been quiet earlier, and Elsa was now certainly feeling insecure. Why hadn't she instructed Kristoff before.

“Um ... well, actually only to one troll. He is very old and wise, has great amount of knowledge. You have seen him twice before and he has known you since we were both little kids. Kristoff and I hope he can help us with your lost memories. He has certain abilities, you know? You don't have to be afraid of him, even if he looks a little ... strange at first glance.” Anna searched Elsa's face to see if she seemed afraid.

But Elsa just smiled and replied, “I think I have many more miracles to prepare for. I'm beginning to feel as if I've woken up in a fairy tale that's come to life.”

~~~

Yelana had now been on the road for hours and stopped at a lively little stream to refresh herself and give the reindeer water. The advantage of travelling cross-country, as opposed to a wagon on a reindeer, was to save time and travel. She knew the area pretty well, so there was no danger of getting lost in the woods. But despite the time saved, dusk had already fallen and she would not quite make it to Arendelle in daylight. It did not make sense to arrive there in the middle of the night.

She looked around and found a good place to spend the night. The foliage of a big tree was very dense and underneath it was a small open area that would protect her from possible rain. At least as long as it did not pour.

She led the reindeer there and tied the line of the harness to a thick branch. Then she gathered lichen, moss and some mushrooms for the animal. Unfortunately, she herself had not had time to provide for her own food, but this area here offered enough plants that were full of edible berries. She gathered enough of them to satisfy her hunger to some extent.

She then cut off some green pine branches from various trees around her and used them to make a temporary camp for the night. Finally she sat down in front of it and thought about her next steps. Would the council in Arendelle even believe her? She had to find Queen Anna first and inform her about the new situation. It would change everything and possibly endanger the newly won peace treaty between Arendelle and her people considerably. Would she be able to help her to regain her place as leader of the Northuldra?

Yelana sighed and shook her head. Probably not; she thought. In order to proceed against Kolgrimr without endangering further human lives, someone with magical abilities would be needed. Someone like Elsa. Right now they were all so dependent on their fifth spirit, however Elsa was unfortunately out of action.

Yelana reached into her bag and pulled out her scarf that she once got from her mother. She put it around her shoulders and wrapped herself tightly in it. Lost in thought, she stroked the five symbols on it and thought of her past, of the time when everything was still in balance and they all lived in harmony with themselves and everything around them. Long before the fateful day when King Runeard appeared and since then everything, but really everything, had gone out of control.

The peace had not lasted long and she would have to fight for it now, even if it cost her her own life. Once again, she had been thoroughly mistaken about someone, for as it now turned out, Gyda had been giving her son shelter for years and unnoticed. It had probably been she herself who had poisoned her son's being with her hatred and had turned him into a monster. Someone who was now even willing to kill.

Under no circumstances was Gyda allowed to lead the people of the sun. Not ever. She would make sure of it. But Yelana did not yet know how she would do it. She needed support. She needed help from Arendelle.

She gritted her teeth in annoyance and disappointment at herself as she thought back to the Norting and what she had told the men there.

Gyda had lied right into her face and she had believed everything.

~~~

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Kristoff stopped the wagon and jumped off the trestle. “End of the line. We have to walk from here,” he called out.

Rocks rose up to their left and right, and the path had become narrow and rocky. Further ahead, the steam of the geysers enveloped the rest of the path.

Kristoff waved back to Mattias and the other two drivers and then went to Sven to make sure that everything was all right with him and that he felt comfortable. Mattias said something to his people and then came forward alone.

“Are we there?” he asked.

Anna replied in Kristoff's place, “Pretty much, Mattias, but Kristoff will go ahead alone first and announce our arrival.”

Mattias nodded and got off his horse to stretch his legs a little.

“I'll be back soon,” Kristoff said as he came back to them and got a torch from inside the wagon. He lit it on the lantern and disappeared shortly afterwards in the fog in front of them.

They waited and it took at least half an hour until finally the other two came to them as well. Trygve carried the lantern from the wagon and asked, “Is there a problem?”

“No, it's all right. Kristoff went ahead alone and should be back any moment,” Mattias replied to them. He saw their skeptical looks, which were directed past him to the front and said, “You don't have to come along if you don't want to.”

“It's okay, General” Kristina said, “We've been through so much already, we don't want to miss the opportunity to encounter a myth.”

She looked at her companion, who nodded affirmatively, “We'll come.”

“All right,” Mattias said, “to be honest, I feel the same way, but keep your eyes open all the time, remember our duty is to protect the royal family at all cost.”

A few minutes later, a faint reddish spot dancing up and down in the thick haze like a will-o'-the-wisp announced Kristoff's return.

After he gave his okay, they all left. Anna walked ahead at his side, followed by Elsa with Olaf, then Mattias, who looked around attentively, and in the end Trygve and Kristina, who looked visibly nervous and kept peering back over their shoulders into the dark. Kristina rubbed her wet palms against her leg dresses.

The little geysers hissed and enveloped them in their damp steam as they passed them. However, after a short time the view became clearer and the narrow path opened up into a lower, almost circular area where there was a large rock. On it sat a quirky looking creature covered with moss, wearing a chain of yellow shining crystals around his neck. It was Grand Pabbie, the king of the trolls, who looked calmly and serenely towards them and had folded his big hands in his lap.

They were already halfway to the clearing when Elsa only now noticed him and stopped in surprise. She stared at him and began to nervously knead her hands in front of her. She hadn't expected this after all. All the others behind her also stopped and waited to see what might happen. Only Olaf ran on and stood next to Anna, who now stopped right in front of the troll. She hadn't noticed anything behind her yet.

The old troll bowed before her. “Your Majesty ..., Kristoff ... it is never a dull moment with you all. Only this time you're going to give me a real challenge.” He looked at Elsa in between them and it took a few seconds before he finally said something again. “She's afraid.”

Anna's head spun around and she ran the few steps back to Elsa, took her hands in hers to calm her down and looked deep into her eyes. “Elsa, you don't have to be afraid of him, really. He only wants to help. Please come forward with me, I'll be by your side at all times,” she said softly and almost imploringly. “Trust me, there's no danger at all.”

Anna felt her sister's hands tremble slightly and for a few moments Elsa didn't react but just stared at the troll. Then her sister took a deep breath and nodded. She looked at Anna and squeezed her hands.

“Okay, let's do it. Whatever come next, we'll do it ... together.”

Anna smiled in relief and led her to Grand Pabbie, holding one hand. They stopped in front of him and Elsa scrutinized him closely, looking at every square inch of the old troll and wondering how such a creature could even exist.

He was alive, there was no doubt about that, but his hair and eyebrows seemed to be made of dry straw and there even grew a small bundle of it out of his ears. His bulbous nose was unnaturally large and the small indentations in it, which were probably the pores of his skin, looked more like the surface of a weathered stone, as did his skin, which showed traces of moss. His moss mantle looked somehow ... fresh, as if it had been harvested in the morning dew and simply peeled off in one piece as a blanket from the ground. The transparent crystals he wore around his neck on a willow rod chain glowed from inside without any visible light source and it almost seemed as if this glow was pulsating slightly.

Finally she looked up into his night-black eyes and held her breath. His gaze seemed to penetrate her and literally nailed her to the spot. His eyebrows lifted and he stretched out his short arms towards her, palms up. He obviously wanted her to put her hands in his. She felt Anna's handshake and her thumb stroking the back of her hand.

She took her eyes off Grand Pabbie and instead looked at her sister questioningly. She now released Elsa's hand and nodded encouragingly. “Go ahead, Elsa. That's just his special way of finding out hidden things inside us. This way he can feel and see what's bothering us. He can help you with that,” Anna said and looked into the troll's face. “At least I hope so,” she then added somewhat more quietly.

Elsa hesitated but finally raised both hands and slowly lowered them onto Grand Pabbie's large four-finger palms. When she touched them, all she felt was a cold, rough surface and a gentle pressure as the troll embraced her hands and held them.

For a while, nothing happened at all, everyone just stood there and concentrated on what was happening. Grand Pabbie had now closed his eyes and his bushy eyebrows were drawn together in deep concentration. There was a tense silence.

Then the old troll suddenly moaned and stared at Elsa. “You really have a big problem, Elsa, and I'm afraid I can't help you. You're under some kind of spell. Someone with magical powers has blocked the access to your inner self along with your memories.”

~~~

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To be continued ...

I hope you have enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a comment if you liked the story, I would be pleased to read your opinions, even criticisms. If you want to be tagged as soon I publish the next chapter please let me know, except you are already tagged :-)

Tagging: @karma26 @whether-near-to-me-or-far @annaofthenorthernlights @igotelsapregnanthelp @the-fifth-spirit-elsa

#frozen #frozen2 #frozen3 #fanfic #epic novel #the broken bridge #part two #chapter 15 #bigfrozenfan

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the-blue-fairie · 3 years

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I think one of the reasons Show Yourself doesn’t resonate for me as much as it should is that the song frames itself as offering Elsa emotional closure... but then it doesn’t really follow through on offering that closure.

Let me say up front, I realize that my feelings are colored by my complicated relationship with the way Agnarr and Iduna are portrayed in F2. I know I’ve talked about this ad nauseum, but for anyone who may not have seen those posts, let me give a quick overview: I love Agnarr and Iduna. I find them sympathetic and richly complex. But I don’t like the way F2 brushes aside the part they played in fostering Elsa’s self-hatred and Anna’s struggles with isolation. That’s not because I want to demonize them or anything. They were put in a heartbreaking situation and made bad choices while trying to do what was best. Some have suggested that F2 had to brush aside the parents’ mistakes because that would make them look bad, but things like Dangerous Secrets have shown that you can discuss their actions in Elsa’s and Anna’s childhoods while still portraying them sympathetically - and that actually enriches the narrative instead of deterring from it.

But, because F2 brushes aside Agnarr’s and Iduna’s actions when Elsa and Anna were children, it leaves “a gap in the text” as I’ve called it in the past, meaning that Show Yourself can’t land for me the way it must have been intended to land.

Friends of mine, and also animation critics on Youtube that I’ve watched, have discussed how Show Yourself gives Elsa emotional closure with her mother, allowing Iduna to give Elsa affirmation and allowing Elsa the relief of that affirmation. But the thing is... it doesn’t give Elsa (or Anna, not present in Ahtohallan) closure for what happened to them as children. The film bends over backwards not to address what happened to the sisters as children. It doesn’t give Elsa the chance to process how the decisions that her parents made hurt her and come to terms with that, presumably by accepting that her parents were human beings seeking to do good, but put in a devastating crisis. And again, my wish that the sisters got a chance to process how their parents’ actions hurt them doesn’t mean I want them to hate their parents or condemn them. Processing doesn’t have to mean condemnation or judgment - and a sympathetic look at Agnarr’s and Iduna’s actions could create compelling parallels with Elsa being forced to make hard choices in F2. I just want... acknowledgment. I want the sisters to be able to get that closure. And so far, I haven’t been able to see that. Dangerous Secrets is beautiful, but it’s told from Agnarr’s and Iduna’s perspectives. I’ve praised Frozen Fever in the past for allowing Elsa and Anna a space to directly address the pain of the past and heal from it, but even that short doesn’t really touch on the root of the sisters’ trauma.

And I guess that’s part of why Show Yourself is a bit thorny for me. It frames itself as giving Elsa closure, giving Elsa relief... but it doesn’t give Elsa closure for something she desperately needs closure on.

It positions itself as a mother reaching out to a daughter - and that’s a beautiful concept, don’t mistake me, a beautiful moment - but it brushes aside the complicated circumstances that both mother and daughter had to endure in their lives. Instead of meditating on the history between them and using that history to build an even richer connective tissue between the films, it goes for the abstract.

There’s a post I reblogged ages ago that suggested that Agnarr and Iduna stand in for the idea of a father and mother in F2, rather than the complex characters that the first film showed them to be and rather than fully exploring the complex history between them and their daughters. And while I don’t agree with everything that post said - it was far more critical of Agnarr and Iduna as people than I am - I do agree with that particular sentiment.

Maybe I’m sensitive to this because I’ve been hurt by my own family, and so the pain the sisters went through for thirteen years hits especially close to home for me. Maybe that’s why I keep returning to what I call this “gap in the text.” Maybe, because I identify so much with Elsa during those years of isolation, I’m sensitive to things that ignore that her behavior in the first film was learned - taught to her by her parents who I know had good intentions, who I know loved her, but which hurt her in the end. It makes little things that wouldn’t bother anybody else nag at me - maybe because I’ve seen people blame Elsa completely for the childhood separation in the past, maybe because I’m still kind of in the position Elsa was in during her youth and I know how it hurts. Things like the line, “I have always been a fortress, cold secrets deep inside.” No, you haven’t. You haven’t always been a fortress. You weren’t a fortress as a little girl, Elsa. You were open and vibrant and free. You had to learn that - from circumstance, from life, and yes, from the misguided decisions of the parents who loved you and wanted to protect you (also let’s please not ignore the trolls’ part in all this either).

The thing that gets to me too is that, on its own, Show Yourself is transcendentally beautiful and, while I’ve spent this post critiquing, there are so many good elements in F2. Even the concept of a mother reaching out to her daughter is, as I’ve said in this very post beautiful and with a little more focus on the complexities of what Elsa and her parents actually went through, it could be all the more resonant. (Also, the deleted scene of Anna getting to see her parents is beautiful and should have been included - though, if I may fall back into critique mode again, it also kind of brushes aside the fact that Agnarr and Iduna’s choices helped to shape Elsa and frames them as more benevolently wise... even though it’s still so much more poignant for me than what we get in the finished film.) You can see fragments of greatness in F2 and it’s clear the filmmakers approached the film with a lot of love, and I wish the film could coalesce better for me... But the lack of reflection on Elsa’s and Anna’s childhoods still feels like a blind spot for me (or, if not a blind spot, a deliberate choice by the filmmakers that does a disservice to the complexity of their characters and the pain they went through - and a choice that stings for me as someone still going through a similar kind of pain in the closet.)

I’m sorry that this post got so long. I meant it to only be a few sentences of musing, but when you start to speak from the heart, I guess your heart pours forth. I hope people don’t feel I’m being unfair in my reflection. As with all my posts, I did all I could to be even-handed, fair, considerate of different perspectives. I hope that shone through.

#frozen

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its-me-screeching · 5 years

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Phantoms - Chapter 8: Lifeline

I spent every Christmas since I was only ten years old at Elsa's place.

Why not? Christmas with my family was nothing special. I had a few uncles and cousins I never interacted much with, but on the rare occasions they came by during the holidays, they only made me feel inferior and worthless. My brothers couldn't even keep quiet for a nanosecond, and my mother's holiday evenings consisted of glaring at me as I failed to show interest in the dish she'd cooked up; usually canned food, microwaved (Gordon Ramsay wouldn't approve), which didn't taste like anything… at all. I always hoped my father would say something about it, help me in trying to make my mother see how shitty her Christmas dinners were, but he never said a word. Sometimes I wondered if he still cared about anything at all.

Either way, spending the Christmas days at Elsa's place was far superior to staying home. Elsa liked having me around, and so did Anna, I hope, and their parents weren't there anyway. Even during the holidays, Mr. Arens and his wife still found a way to work. They rather enjoyed their jobs, I guess, or they were too afraid to face their daughters and deal with the consequences of their absence.

I suppose I should thank them for never being there, fucked up as that may be. I was more than happy to celebrate Christmas at the Arens' house, to fill the silence Elsa's parents left behind. I loved spending the holidays there; though the house was big and empty, its dark corners were easily lit up by candles, and Anna enjoyed putting effort into a Christmas dinner we'd enjoy, serving us with a big smile. She had more money for proper ingredients and more time to use them, so the food would have actual taste and I wasn't tempted to throw it all back up, like at home.

And yet, even though we'd have the time of our lives, I couldn't help but feel like a burden as the years passed. It felt wrong to spend so much time at Elsa's place, especially since she never came over to mine; I didn't like being home and my mother would sigh and roll her eyes if I brought friends over, so there wasn't much to show.

Truth be told, I might've been too ashamed of it all to even consider inviting Elsa over. It seemed we had opposite problems: she had everything she could want except for her shitty parents, while I had my shitty parents and very little else.

Nevertheless, it was all quite unfair, me always hanging out at her place. The Arens' house felt more like home than my own place ever did, and despite neither Elsa nor Anna minding my near-constant presence, I began to feel like I was an intruder, taking advantage of their generosity. I'd never cared much about that and I didn't know where it came from, because Elsa never said a word, but my insecurity and uneasiness began to grow over the years. I'd find myself sitting on a couch too fancy for me, in a house bigger than I could ever hope to have, and all I could think was: 'you don't belong here'.

I didn't dare tell Elsa about all of that emotional baggage; she'd tell me I was being ridiculous, that I wasn't a burden in the slightest, that I'd always be welcome to stay. And while a part of me was desperate to hear her say those words, I didn't deserve them, and they wouldn't ease my mind as much as I wanted them to. So I kept my mouth shut and ate food to good for me by the light of lamps that were never mine.

The Christmas in the memory I regained was different from all others before it. Too different. I didn't spend the night before Christmas at home, and I didn't spend it at Elsa's either. No, I spent it at a Christmas party I'd been invited to by a classmate.

It seemed ideal at first. If I went there, I wouldn't have to listen to the nagging voice in my head telling me I shouldn't always be hanging out at Elsa's place. I would do something on my own for once, see something new, step out of my comfort zone. Sure, maybe I loved spending the holidays with Elsa and her sister, but I couldn't be selfish all the time, not when my hosts were textbook definitions of selflessness. I thought it was time to get a taste of something else for a change, for their sake.

When I told Elsa about my plan to go to our classmate's party, she just smiled and nodded and asked me if I would still visit on Christmas day. Yeah, sure, of course I would. Still got her and Anna a present and all that mess. If she had any problems at all with my absence, she didn't show it. There wasn't the slightest hint of accusation or hurt in her voice and her eyes remained as cryptic as ever; cold and warm at the same time, secrets hidden behind irises made of ice. All of that only strengthened the idea that I was doing a good thing by staying away for a bit.

So on the night before Christmas, I walked all the way to the other side of town, to my classmate's home. I was hungry and cold, the snow on the sidewalks soaking through my worn-down shoes, but I didn't have much of a choice. I'd spent all of my money on Christmas presents: a book for Elsa, fancy chocolates for Anna, some toys for my brothers and an electric razor for my father, so he could finally shave his dirty beard properly for once. Even though I hadn't bothered to buy my mother anything, unable to see why I should give her a gift for always arguing with me, I still didn't have any money left to take a bus. I could've asked Elsa to give me a ride, of course, but that would mean depending on her again, which was exactly what I'd been trying to avoid.

No, I'd get to the party all by myself, even if it meant walking a few miles through a biting cold. When I arrived at my classmate's house, I felt half-frozen, so out of it I had a hard time registering the Christmas Classics Dubstep remix someone had decided to blast through the speakers at a volume so loud it was absurd. When the party's host, Jack, opened the door for me, he almost pulled me inside so he could close the door fast and block out the cold. "There are drinks on the table in the corner," was all he told me as I got rid of my winter coat. "Oughta warm you up. You look like you need it."

Seemed as good an idea as any. I walked further into reckless teenage christmas festivities, followed the scent of alcohol, and did exactly as he advised. Poured myself a glass of vodka strong enough to knock a small animal out, ignoring the biting taste of the alcohol. Warmed me up just right.

But later that night, I ended up feeling colder than ever.

It was around midnight and there could've been stars if the clouds hadn't been in the way. Well, I did see stars, if I allowed my eyes to lose focus and grow as hazy as my mind. When I looked up, I saw clouds as black as the night in sharp contrast with the snowflakes drifting down. It was good snow, solid flakes, the kind you could use to make a snowman. I found myself sitting in the snow on a sidewalk in a street I didn't know, my back against a streetlamp that flickered in the night, looking up at the sky as the occasional car passed by. The snowfall was starting to get heavier and there would be a snowstorm coming on soon; everyone was eager to get home. Everyone but me.

I couldn't bring myself to move. I was smiling. Why the hell was I smiling? Even though I was more drunk than I'd ever been before, I couldn't find a reason. If I stayed seated on the cold hard ground long enough, would my back freeze to the streetlight? Wouldn't that be funny? My drunk hands created a half-hearted snowball, and I watched it crumble away, snow slipping through my fingers like sand in an hourglass. And I was still smiling, with no clue as to what was so funny.

I felt so fucking cold. I don't remember exactly how long I sat there in the snow, turning more and more into a popsicle with each passing minute; in fact, the memory had always been foggy, only growing clear after I understood all that had happened on that fateful night better. My eardrums must've been frozen, because I didn't hear the soft crunch of footsteps in the snow, slowing down in front of me.

"I hope you weren't planning on staying there all night. You'll freeze to death if you do." The voice was gentle and there wasn't a sign of accusation, only concern. I knew that voice as well as my own, and I loved its sound more.

"Will I?" I asked, my words slurred. So obviously drunk. It was pathetic. I managed to tear my eyes away from the sky to look my lifeline in the eyes.

"Yes," Elsa said, "I'm pretty sure that's what happens when you stay outside with a snowstorm coming."

I laughed, with a little more reason now, though the dry remark shouldn't have been funny. It was messed up.

"You're not supposed to be here," I urged myself to say, voice barely louder than a whisper. Somewhere in the chaos of my mind, I remembered my promise to myself to leave Elsa alone tonight. My inability to keep it made me hate myself a little more.

"Guess I am," Elsa replied, kneeling down in front of me so our faces were at the same level. "You texted me, remember? You said you needed a ride home."

A part of me wanted to slap myself for doing the exact thing I said I wouldn't do. Another part told me I'd made the right decision; I definitely wouldn't be able to find my way home and if my own stupidity got me hospitalised, Elsa would murder me. If bringing me home would mean I'd get home safe, she'd be happy to sacrifice her night.

I muttered some curses under my breath. "Sorry."

"Don't be." Elsa stood up and held out her hand. "You're only a few blocks away from my house, so it wasn't hard to find you. Besides, Anna fell asleep halfway through A Christmas Carol." She smiled. "I believe she doesn't think Patrick Stewart makes a convincing Scrooge."

I really wasn't in a state to remember which actor starred in which movie, so I stayed quiet, took her hand and let her pull me to my feet. I felt a little shaky and weak, standing after staying in the same position for so long, and my skin was so cold it gave even Elsa shivers. I could only stare at the crisp white snow beneath my feet.

"Just lean on me if you need to," my friend said, and I reached the passenger's seat of her car with little help. Elsa had a car and a license while I didn't, so I'd been in that car quite a few times, but that night it felt different. That night it felt colder.

Elsa started the car and drove away through the snow, turning the windshield wipers on so she could see the road. I sat back into my seat and closed my eyes for a bit, trying to keep the nausea I'd begun to feel at bay. Elsa remained silent, realizing I didn't have many intelligent things to say at the moment.

"We're not going to your place," I said after a while. We were driving through streets that weren't near Elsa's house and even I could see it through my drunken delirium.

Elsa shook her head. "I'm bringing you home."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't want to go."

"Mer, you were freezing to death in the snow. It's better if you spend your night at home. With your family."

"They can't care about what they don't know. You're not going to tell them, are you?"

"No." A pause. "It's just better if you go home right now. You know, get some sleep and lose the hangover? You'll feel better in the morning."

Elsa wanted to bring me home because it was the only right thing to do. She didn't actually say so, but I knew that was the reason because I knew her so well. Maybe I couldn't read those icy eyes or the thoughts she didn't want anyone to see, but I could read every other tiny, insignificant action: the slight twitch of her mouth, the tapping on her steering wheel, the very controlled way in which she navigated her car through the oncoming storm.

Elsa never did anything she wasn't supposed to do, the only exception being the Nepenthe incident months ago. Aside from that awful slip-up, she kept up a careful wall of unfeeling perfection and control. Not because she wanted to, but she never hated it either, even if she told herself she did. Deep down, Elsa did the right thing because it was what she liked doing, because it made her feel a little better to know she did the best she could do. That night, the right thing to do was making sure I got home safe and sound.

I hated it. And yet I couldn't bring myself to hate her for it. I sank back further into my seat and sighed. We were very different people, Elsa and I. I didn't care much for doing the right thing. In fact, I often found pleasure in doing the wrong thing. It was me who got into fights far too easily, it was me who got drunk at a party and almost froze out in the cold. It was me who broke Hans Westerguard's wrist years before that, and though he deserved it, it hadn't been the right thing. The right thing would've been talking, diplomacy, reporting him to the authorities. What Elsa could've done.

But I didn't work like that. I broke the guy's wrist without batting an eyelash and I could've beat him bloody without a single thought of remorse. Did it matter if he deserved it? While my main motivation at that moment had been protecting Elsa, a part of me did what I did because it had been the wrong thing, and I fucking loved the wrong thing. There was nothing profound about it. Doing the wrong thing put me in a spotlight, drew all eyes to me, and even though it was negative attention, it was attention all the same. It enticed and repulsed me, and I'd have gotten addicted to it a long time ago if Elsa hadn't been there to rein me in when I needed her to. Because Elsa did the right thing.

We stopped in front of my house, tires screeching in the snow. Elsa turned the engine off and the car's life disappeared, leaving emptiness around me. I felt cold again, colder than I'd ever been before. I knew it was time for me to leave, to go home, but all I wanted was to stay in that car forever.

"I really don't want to go," I mumbled, trying to bury myself in the passenger's seat even more.

Elsa clicked her tongue and leaned on the steering wheel in front of her. "I've got all the time in the world, Mer. Sit there as long as long as you like and I'll stay here all night. But I'm not driving back before you're home, no matter what you do."

"Hm." An idea began to form in my messy brain, an idea that was either the best or the worst I'd ever had depending on the outcome. Under normal circumstances, I'd never have considered it. My drunken state was messing with my rationality, and Elsa was looking at me with that look she got when she was trying to convey that negotiating the issue wasn't an option. That look could be terrifying if her heart was into it, but I knew she didn't like being this harsh with me and the look turned into something I could only describe as adorable. It switched to a look of mild surprise as I leaned closer to her, but I don't remember how she looked when I pressed our lips together.

I'd wanted to kiss her for a few years now, but I'd never wanted to risk ruining our friendship. I loved Elsa more than anyone, and if I could only keep her close by being friends and nothing more, I would've done so. While I liked doing the wrong thing, it had never before crossed my mind to do anything that wasn't right with Elsa. That little bit of sanity I still clung to that night was already scolding me for being such a damn idiot, because it was so wrong, and yet it all felt strangely right.

Once again, I couldn't tell what Elsa felt. I did, however, remember how I myself felt when she didn't kiss me back. The ecstacy died away, replaced itself with a pang of disappointment mixed with a little bit of heartache.

When I pulled myself away, Elsa placed her hands on my shoulders and pushed me away very slowly, but the movement remained gentle, her fingers digging into my coat. I could only blink a few times, trying to process everything that happened.

"Mer," Elsa said, voice compassionate with the slightest hint of sadness. "You're still not driving home with me. I mean it."

I wanted the passenger's seat to absorb me, so I could disappear forever. I crossed my arms with a pout. "You don't love me," I slurred. From the way I said it, you wouldn't guess I was almost eighteen. It sounded childish, even to my own drunk ears.

"Don't say that. You know it's not true." Her expression softened and she pushed a few curls out of my face, with little effect. She'd described my hair as fire once. I loved it when she did that; it suited me well. But at the same time I hated it, because Elsa was ice, and when ice touches fire, it melts away and disappears forever. "It's just… you should be sober."

"You'd… kiss me if I was… sober?"

Elsa smiled at me. "Tomorrow's Christmas day. You're visiting, right?"

I nodded weakly, happy to finally find something familiar in this peculiar night.

"I got you a really nice present this year. Might be you're going to want to kiss me again when you find out what it is. Actually, I'm pretty sure of that."

I sat there staring at her, nodding along and processing, allowing my happiness to return to me while she kept talking with that soothing voice. I'd already heard everything I'd wanted to hear. Elsa loved me. She wanted to kiss me, but I had to be sober. Well, I'd be sober tomorrow, and I'd stay sober forever if it meant I could kiss her.

"So if you go home now, I'll let you try again tomorrow. Okay?" She finally let go of me, but not before planting a single kiss on my cheek that made me feel all warm and fuzzy.

I laughed a broken laugh. "Why do you always need to do what's best for me? It's stupid." Always doing the right thing. I hated it, but I loved it too.

"Because you're worth it." She sighed. "But I do hope you're going to get out soon. As much as I like sitting here with you exchanging love confessions and stuff, I'll be sleeping all the way through Christmas day if we stay much longer."

I understood the hint and opened the car door, cold wind cutting into my skin. I shivered and rubbed my arms, longing for a fading warmth. The snow that had gathered in my hair had melted, only to be replaced by new flakes now. It was cold, so cold in that storm, and all of a sudden a terrible feeling crept up along with the chills on my spine.

I considered asking Elsa if she wanted to stay the night. It didn't mean anything with it; it was so she wouldn't have to drive home through the storm. We could wait until the weather calmed and go to her house in the morning. But I already knew what her answer would be. Anna was still home alone, Elsa would say, and if her younger sister woke up to find her gone without a word, she would get worried, especially with a snowstorm raging outside.

"Elsa?" I asked. I had to know before I could close the door.

"Yeah?"

"You'll drive safe, right?" I didn't like this storm, with its biting frost and cruel cold. A white Christmas could be beautiful, but it could be treacherous too.

Elsa's reply sounded almost offended. "I don't see why you're asking. Of course I will."

I shoved my hands into my pockets. "Please. Promise me."

She sighed, as if she thought I was overreacting. "Fine. I promise." The same words I'd said to her after breaking Hans' wrist. The same words that haunted my nightmares.

I knew Elsa wasn't one for breaking promises, so I believed her immediately. I nodded in approval, a tiny smile forming on my face. "See you tomorrow."

"Can't wait."

And I closed the door and watched her drive away, frozen in place like a fool. I watched the snow fall for a while after that, swirling in the wind, the colour white all around me, and I shivered, not for the first time that night.

It was so fucking cold.

I went inside, into a dark living room, grateful I wouldn't need to deal with a scolding from my mother. Took the stairs, stepped into my room and fell asleep, still feeling uncomfortably cold. And when I woke up in the morning, I remembered everything worth remembering about the night before, and decided I'd have a good day today.

It was my father who told me. My mother was still in bed, taking advantage of the holidays to get the extra sleep she needed, and my brothers were playing with their presents under our tiny Christmas tree. I found my father sitting at the kitchen table, scrolling through the site of the local newspaper on his laptop, rubbing his prosthetic leg with a glassy look in his eyes. He motioned for me to take a seat because he wanted to ask slash tell me something, and I refused, because I was going someplace and he could very well tell me while I stood.

I didn't quite understand what he was telling me at first. So maybe there had been an unfortunate car accident last night, due to the storm and icy roads. So maybe there hadn't been any survivors. Okay. Fine. What did that have to do with me?

The article listed the victims' names. Three people dead. There were pictures, too, and I recognized the license plate of the wrecked car that had been fine earlier that night. I knew because I'd been sitting in it too.

So I took my father up on his offer and sat down at the kitchen table, surrounded by the shattered pieces of a broken promise, cursing all of my memories.

#merelsa #elsida #merilsa #merida x elsa #elsa x merida #merida #elsa #brave #frozen #fanfic #femslash #phantoms

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everlastingcaptainswan · 6 years

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A Pinch of Magic, A Twist of Fate, and A Full Moon (4/?) Witch/Werewolf AU

Summary: It has long been told that Emma would be the Savior to save the witches from Rumplestiltskin, the infamous witch hunter. In an unsuspected attack Rumplestiltskin catches Emma off guard and an unknown ally saves her from a certain death and suddenly she feels obligated to do the same for the stranger.

Ao3 FF

This is my contribution to the Captain Swan Supernatural Summer! @cssns @kmomof4

The lovely artwork is thanks to @shady-swan-jones

Chapter 4: Plans and Assets

Supper is a loud, noisy meal simply because of the number of people at the dining room table. Elsa engages herself in a conversation with Ruby and Anna in an attempt to avoid Liam. Robin keeps shooting Regina longing looks when he thinks no one is watching him. Killian unabashedly keeps glancing at Emma whenever she isn’t glancing at him. Roland and Henry are getting along well, talking too loud then what is appropriate, but no one feels the need to quiet them. Snow and David are quietly talking amongst themselves.

The sun goes down and the children start to get sleepy with Roland almost falling asleep at the table. Emma shares a look with Robin, who scoops Roland into his arms. Emma gets Henry’s attention.

“Come on, kid. It’s past your bedtime,” Emma tells him.

“Five more minutes,” Henry attempts to say through a yawn.

“I don’t think so, you can barely keep your eyes open. Let’s go,” she orders him. Despite his grumbles he follows his mother out of the dining room. Emma helps him get ready for bed and seeing how well the boys get along, Robin and her decide they should share a room. Once the boys are tucked in they leave them to join the others in the meeting.

“With the prophecy and all do you guys have a plan?” Liam asks when all of them have a seat at the table.

“Not exact details, but we need to corner him and disable him. We haven’t made any moves because the first part of the prophecy only came to pass a month ago,” David tells them. The pack waits patiently for someone to explain.

“The prophecy stated I wouldn’t defeat the dark one until I was twenty-eight, which I turned a month ago. We’ve been planning for sometime now. We have squid ink to immobilize him and then I come in to end him. What we lack is ever knowing where he is or having a sufficient enough distraction,” Emma tells them.

“We could set a trap and lure him out,” Robin suggests, looking around the table.

“We decided against that because we want to catch him unaware,” Regina says.

“If you set up a trap you can control the situation. He seems blood thirsty enough to be fooled into any trap you set,” Killian tells them.

“What did you have in mind exactly?” Snow asks him, pointedly.

“It would be helpful to know all of your abilities exactly. In order to know what kind of trap we can set,” Killian says looking at each of them.

“I’ll start, I’m an empath, I can sense someone’s emotions. I can’t imagine I’ll be much use to you,” Anna shrugs.

“Not so sure about that, can you control emotions of a person?” Liam asks.

“Well yes I can do that. Although it is frowned upon to do so,” she nods. Liam nods exchanging a look with Killian.

“It’s easier to show you what I can do,” Elsa says. She simply raises her hand and faces her palm toward the ceiling, snowflakes start falling from it. When the pack doesn’t look impressed Elsa creates a shard of ice and throws it just to the left of Liam’s head straight into the wall. Ruby laughs at Liam’s shocked expression.

“Oh yeah, we can use that,” Ruby chuckles. Regina creates a fireball and Robin’s eyes widen.

“I won’t throw this it will be a little too destructive,” Regina says with a smirk, “Emma and I can also transport ourselves from one location to the next.”

“Interesting and we can definitely use that,” Killian says. Snow sweeps her hand from left to right, brings forth a wine bottle and enough glasses for them.

“I have healing abilities as well. Should this turn ugly as we think it will,” Snow says, using her abilities to pour them all a glass of wine.

“I have a natural ability with animals, it’s how we’ve been so lucky with getting food even in the dead of winter. Other than that I’m rather good at hand to hand combat,” David tells the group. The pack nods. Emma emits some of her white light.

“Looks pretty, but it can hurt when I want it to,” Emma says, the light dissipating.

“You know what to do when you confront him?” Liam asks her.

“I know exactly what to do. Don’t worry about me,” she tells them. A somber tone falls over the room. Killian’s gaze is glued to Emma. He knows she’s holding something back, but doesn’t know what it is. Regina looks to Liam.

“You know what we can do now, so what’s your plan?” she asks him.

“We’ll need to scout an ideal location, somewhere away from any unsuspecting people,” Liam answers her.

“We still need a good distraction, something to draw him out,” Ruby comments.

“I think that should be something to ponder on for tonight. It’s been a long day and we still have a lot of work to do. We all need a good night’s sleep,” Snow declares standing up, her husband grasps her hand. They all agree with the exhaustion weighing on them. Snow leaves and David follows behind her. Regina looks like she wants to say something, but she shakes her head, leaving as well. Emma finishes her glass of wine in one swift motion, wishing it was something stronger.

“Did we miss something?” Killian asks looking at the cousins remaining at the table.

“We have devoted so much of our lives to this fight and to have it be so close to the end well it’s difficult for everyone to process,” Elsa comments.

“Not to mention the moral implications,” Anna contributes.

“Good thing you won’t be killing him then,” Emma snaps, irritated by Anna’s innocence.

“Emma, you have light magic that’s meant for good. How is what we’re doing good?” Anna asks her, getting upset.

“You don’t think this is worth it? Don’t you want to go home? Aren’t you tired of living on the run? Aren’t you tired of him murdering us out of some misguided vengeance? We are getting rid of a great evil, what isn’t good about that?” Emma says getting angry, her hands starting to glow. The pack realizes what an important fight this is for everyone in this house, what they have all sacrificed to be here.

“Emma,” Elsa says looking at her cousin’s hands. Emma curses before shaking out her hands, the glowing stops.

“I make no apologies for what has to be done,” Emma says before leaving the room. Anna looks to Elsa.

“I’m going to bed, good night,” she tells the room before leaving. Elsa looks as if she doesn’t know what to do anymore.

“I’m sorry you all had to see that, tensions have been running high lately,” Elsa tells the room, cleaning up the glasses that everyone left behind.

“No worries, these things happen. Especially within families,” Liam says, jumping to help Elsa collect the glasses and follows her out of the room.

“Anyone have the feeling what we jumped into is much larger than what we thought it was,” Ruby muses out loud.

“Definitely, but that’s what makes it interesting,” Robin says with a smirk. Killian nods and tells them goodnight. He wants to find Emma, he knows she’s upset. While searching the rooms on the ground floor of the house Killian spots Emma in the garden looking over forest. He makes his way outside to stand next to her.

“Are you alright, love?” he asks her, wanting to reach out to touch her, but he stops himself.

“Anna has morality issues with this and it’s hard for her to accept that,” Emma says, not looking at him.

“I gathered as much, but I asked about you,” he says pointedly.

“I’m fine. I’ve prepared myself for this for a long time,” she says finally looking at him, with something akin to sadness in her eyes.

“Well, if you ever need to talk about it. I’m here,” he tells her. He’s not entirely sure why, but that pull he feels when she’s around is undeniable.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she says a smile on her face.

“Ah that’s much better,” he says and she raises an eyebrow.

“What is?” she asks, curious.

“Your smile, much better than the frown that was masking your face,” he tells her. He desperately wants to reach out, place a hand on her cheek, and pull her in for a kiss. He stops himself, now isn’t the time for that.

She can’t stop thinking about him and his stupid lips. How soft and supple they look. How she wants them on hers so desperately. She never felt like this with Neal, not even once. She’s fighting so hard to deny this attraction, but in this moment she wants him.

“You don’t know me all that well how can you say that?” she says shaking her head.

“I don’t have to know you well to see you look much more beautiful with a smile,” he tells her.

“You seem like quite the charmer, I bet you say that to all the women you meet,” she says with a smirk.

“Ah yes all the many women I meet as a wolf in the forest,” he teases her. The moonlight shining down on them, providing dim lighting in the garden.

“You never know who you’ll find in the forest,” she smiles at him.

“You never do. I feel quite lucky to have met you,” he tells her his hand brushing hers.

“It does feel quite fortunate, something about fate and all that,” she says, blushing. He can no longer help it and his hand brushes her cheek. She closes her eyes and leans into his touch. He brings her closer until his lips brush against hers. Once then twice. She surges forward and captures his lips with hers. Gods he’s never had a kiss like this. He imagined kissing her all day, but this is something else. Emma’s hands grasp the lapels of his jacket. One of his hands tangles in her hair.

My god Emma has never had a kiss like this. A kiss full of passion and longing. She never knew a kiss could feel this good. She knows she should distance herself away from him, but my god kissing him shouldn’t feel as good as this. She’s entirely selfish in this moment. She wants this and him, even though it’s not fair to him at all.

When they pull apart and come up for air and rest their foreheads on each other. Emma realizes what a huge mistake she has made. She can’t kiss him. She can’t lead him on like this. He should kiss women who aren’t fated to die at the hands of the great evil.

“That was…” he says trailing off. She pulls away from him, shaking her head.

“I can’t, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have..” she says backing away.

“Emma?” he says confused. He knows she felt what he did. If she didn’t she would’ve stopped the kiss. She would’ve said something or shouted at him. She’s running because she’s scared.

“I can’t. Please wait five minutes until you go back inside the house,” she says all the while continuing to back up.

“As you wish,” he says briskly, he can’t stop her from running. No matter how badly he wants to. Emma turns around and runs into the house. She definitely shouldn’t have kissed him. That was a huge mistake. How could she do that to someone who wasn’t born into this hellish mess? Emma barrels into a room she’s sharing with Elsa and Anna. Elsa looks up from her bed and Anna does too.

“Are you okay?” Elsa asks. Emma just shakes her head.

“Nope, I’m definitely not,” Emma says her hand shaking as she runs it through her hair.

“I can feel the guilt and regret rolling off you. You want to talk about it?” Anna asks her. Emma shakes her head.

“Not yet,” she mumbles. The sisters nod, they’re used to waiting for Emma to open up to them. They’ve learned not to push her.

“We’re here when you’re ready,” Elsa tells her as Emma gets ready for bed. Emma just nods not knowing what to say. How to explain her terrible actions. She wouldn’t drag a good man down with her. It took awhile, but Emma eventually faded into sleep.

In the morning thankfully Henry is quite attached to her and requires a lot of her attention. She’s so distracted she misses how Killian is still gazing longing at Emma. How he’s not mad, just confused as to what went wrong. Liam and Elsa keep looking at each other then hurriedly looking away when they catch each other’s gaze. Robin gazing at Regina when he knows she’s not looking. Regina who is making a show of not looking at Robin.

“Is it me or do we have a bunch of love sick fools in here?” Snow says to David, who looks shocked by this.

“Who are you talking about?” he asks looking around the room.

“Oh you can be so dense sometimes,” Snow sighs, “When you see it you’ll know.” David looks confused, but glances around the table.

After breakfast Anna volunteers to distract the kids for the day, saying she’ll support any plan they come up with. That’s when things get hard for Emma because then she notices how Killian is looking at her and it breaks her heart. He’s not mad or angry, he’s still gazing at her like he always has with maybe a tinge of sadness.

“I’ve been thinking about the distraction and I think it should be me,” Regina tells the room.

“Why you?” Robin asks, curious.

“The Dark One and I have a little history. He knew my mother, he killed her. He would be able to trace my magic if we left a convincing trail,” Regina says.

“He can trace magic?” Ruby asks looking around.

“Why do you think we walked here? We could transport from place to place, but that’s how he tracked us at first. He came so close getting us a few times,” Snow tells them.

“When do we want to set this trap?” Emma asks the room, changing the subject.

“It should be the day of the full moon. We will be at our strongest and the most helpful to you then,” Killian answers her question forcing her to look at him finally. He’s more hurt then he cares to admit. Most of all curious as to what happened last night. What caused the change in Emma. It’s not hard to see she’s an strong, powerful, and beautiful women, but he doubts she sees that in herself. He wants to talk, but she’s avoiding his gaze.

“When is the full moon?” Emma asks him, trying to not let his gaze get to her. She knows there are things unsaid between them. There are questions he’s dying to ask her and she doesn’t want to give him the answers. He’s better off without her in his life. He’s better off with her at a distance.

“Two weeks,” he tells her. She finally breaks his gaze to look at Regina.

“Will that be enough time to set up a convincing trail?” she asks Regina.

“Yes, I’ll leave the week before. The trail will be small and hard to follow. He’ll need to believe that he was the only one who could pick up on it,” Regina says.

“So we have a week to scout out a good location to have this fight,” Liam says and David nods.

“We’ll start today then,” Killian says and Liam agrees. The meeting breaks up, the wolves shifting in the yard before they set off. Killian walks out the room without as much as a goodbye. Maybe he’s finally upset with Emma, but that’s good it’s how it should be.

Regina heads to their library to do some more research. Emma glares out of the window in the parlor. Elsa strides up next to her.

“I know you’re not ready to talk about whatever happened, but I need to talk to you,” Elsa says quietly. Emma turns to her concerned.

“What’s wrong?” Emma asks, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“I think you’re right. I think he’s my true love,” is all she says at first. Emma smirks.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Emma comments.

“Witches, we’re more intune with ourselves, with our bodies. We know when a change occurs, we can sense it. What if he doesn’t feel what I feel or he doesn’t know what it means?” Elsa asks quickly her panic causing snow to fall. Emma takes her hand and the snow stops.

“He may have not accepted it yet or he doesn’t know what it is. I doubt either one of those things changes how he feels about you. What caused this panic in you?” Emma asks skeptical.

“Nothing really. He helped me clean up last night and we were talking then at some point we started holding hands as he walked me to my room. He said he wanted to get to know me and kissed my hand before walking away. All rather tame I’m afraid,” she shrugs.

“It can’t be that tame if you’re panicking, what else happened?” Emma asked again, knowing her cousin was holding back. Elsa takes her time before answering.

“Something snapped into place or perhaps the pull between us was so strong, but all I know he’s the only one for me,” she tells Emma, who smiles.

“When you know you know. Men are usually the last to know when a woman wants them, so give him time to catch up,” She comforts Elsa. They look over the view that the house provides for a few minutes pondering everything happening in their lives.

“I’ve made a mistake,” Emma almost whispers.

“What?” Elsa asks, wondering if she heard her cousin correctly.

“I’ve made a mistake,” Emma repeats herself.

“What happened?” Elsa asks, calmly.

“I kissed Killian,” she says quietly.

“I knew I wasn’t the only one who was interested in a Jones brother. Why would-” Elsa’s train of thought stops and catches up to Emma’s, “Oh no, Emma. I’m so sorry.”

“It was impulsive and in the moment. I just got swept away. I feel like he sees me and understands me. It’s never been like that with anyone outside the coven. He does it with such ease. Elsa, the kiss… there is nothing that can compare,” Emma tells her tears in her eyes.

“They don’t know about your fate,” Elsa says, unsure. Emma shakes her head.

“I shouldn’t have kissed him. It was reckless. I can’t lead him on knowing that I’ll die. It wouldn’t be fair to him,” she whispers.

“Maybe he should get to decide. Maybe to him loving you would be worth it. They should know the truth anyway with this plan of ours,” she tells her cousin. Her words may not be what Emma wants to hear, but they are what she needs to hear. Emma wipes away the single tear the has fallen down her face.

“Thank you. I’ll have to think about it,” Emma nods. She makes sure she is presentable before going in to see Henry and Roland. She helps Anna out with their lesson for the day. Spending time with Henry is her greatest joy. She wants to create good moments with him because soon she’ll be gone and he will only have those moments to remember her by.

Thanks for reading!

#cs #cs au ff #cs au fic #captian swan #CSSNS #cs supernatural summer #cs su #cs mc #cs mc ff #emma swan #Witch!Emma #killian jones #WEREWOLF!KILLIAN

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souridealist · 6 years

Text

Slightly belated Yuletide roundup!

WHAT I WROTE:

I had five works in the collection this year, which is a personal best by far: Imperial Radch, the video game Black Closet, "Brandy (You're a Fine Girl)", and two for Ursula Vernon's Digger.

Imperial Radch: A Good Friend to Have: Uran and Athoek Station, G, 800 words, no archive warnings apply. A post-canon flashfic about evolving terms of address.

“Why do you still call us Radchaii?” Uran asked, leaning back against the wall. He ran his gloves against the welded seam of the wall next to him, like he was stroking a companion animal or a very close friend. Station couldn’t feel the gesture, either through the wall or through Uran’s hands, but it could see. “It’s been months.”

Brandy: All the Great Wide Sea: Brandy-centric, featuring Brandy/her unnamed lover. G, 600 words, no archive warnings. A short fic about Brandy considering new options.

It wasn’t only men who piled into the bar with a purse full of silver and a head full of tales, either. You got the occasional woman coming along, as tattoo-mottled and shaggy-haired as the men, in ragged trousers and oft-patched shirts. One quiet night Brandy wound up pouring sweet red wine for a woman with three brass rings punched through one ear and the five-thousand-mile swallow tattooed on the back of her hand.

Black Closet: Raise Bid to 31 Pieces of Silver: Rowan/Elsa, T, 1.5K, no archive warnings. A traitorous Rowan turns in an intentionally failed assignment and begins to suspect that Elsa knows her secret.

“You know,” Elsa said. “Mallory’s a good girl, and she can blend in with a crowd all right, but I’ve never had trouble noticing when she comes into a room. She draws the eye.” Mallory was pretty enough, Rowan thought. Bright hair. “But you…” Elsa said, pushing back her chair. “You’re so quiet, when you want to be. It’s a gift.”

Digger: Comparative Theology: Murai, Jhalm, Digger, and Shadowchild. G, 3k, no archive warnings. Four scenes exploring each character's relationship with the divine.

. Later in life, Jhalm revisited the temple and learned of the great wars of attrition that Teshia’s priests fought over the herb beds: the Invasive Plant Debates, the Three Or Possibly Four Basil Varietals, and the Mint Idiot, who planted mint in the ground to run riot over the temple. But as a child he’d always found the gardens peaceful, and he’d loved taking home the sacred packages each worshiper was given, leaves from Teshia’s garden dried over the sacred Hearthflame. He used to press the twists of burlap to his nose and inhale something both delicious and sacred. Once one of the priests caught him at it: Cassandra of the straight gray braids and straight-pressed robes. Jhalm jumped, squeaking, and shoved the herbs into his bag.

Digger: Anything That Talks: Murai and Jhalm, G, 2k, no archive warnings.Jhalm's patrol of the Veiled meets another, more ordinary demon, and Murai and Jhalm have a conversation about authority, the past, and how to be good.

“I eat what I will,” it said, slithering forward. Murai could just see the roots of the trees in its coils. She doubted the little stand of elms would last for very long after this. “I eat the shadows of great and small, of weak and of mighty. Yours, impertinent creature – ah, yours is fascinating, strange and dark and deep. So hard-edged, in such a bright light. You will be…” It moved forward, again – between the flanking arms of the Veiled. “Delicious.”

“I see,” Murai said, stepping easily back. “Captain Jhalm, I believe we should kill this creature, if you will give the order.”

WHAT I RECEIVED:

The Touching of Lips by Prinzenhasserin. Queen's Thief, "Five times Costis wanted to kiss Kamet and one time he did." This is a delightful story about five people making Costis think about how much he wants to kiss Kamet; each scene is a beautifully drawn, distinct sketch, and the payoff is delightful. I wanted Costis/Kamet so badly after Thick as Thieves, and this was lovely to receive.

Antelope Dreams by ambyr. Summer in Orcus, "When she was eleven, Summer thought she was very nearly an adult. At seventeen, she's starting to understand how much she has to learn." This is a glorious postcanon fic about growing up, and living with the legacy of Orcus, and being a well-behaved Good Kid (tm) with a crush on a Bad Kid (tm), and Summer remembering the antelope woman and realizing she's a queer furry. It's perfectly in-tone and beautiful.

AUTHORIAL CHATTERING ON WHAT I WROTE:

Yes, I shall continue to do this. Yes, with all five of them. But under a cut!

A Good Friend to Have: This one was a really interesting experience, because I originally wrote it using she/her pronouns for Uran, since canon does. It wasn't unti coming back to it later that I remembered that Uran is briefly identified as male in Delsig, and that if I was leaving the 'Citizen' honorific as Radchaai, I was 'translating' out of Delsig. And thus shoud use he/him pronouns. I really love the series's use of 'she' as a neutral pronoun, and everything that choice creates, and I was pretty hesitant to step away from it -- but it's also a very central conceit of the story that Uran isn't hearing Radchaai the way a native speaker would hear it. Which means Uran needs to use he/him. Going through and changing that was the most annoyingly fiddly editing task I have ever fucking undertaken, but also... really damn interesting to do! The pronouns were all I changed, and it still shifted my mental image of Uran's body language and physical presence a lot.

This was also published with what was originally its working title, which I don't think I've ever done before; occasionally the right title has come to me by the time I have to save the word document (almost always when the fic is written in one sitting), but this wasn't meant to be final and then I realized I liked it better than anything I could come up with. It's a direct quote from canon: Breq's comment when Uran mentions talking to Station in the second book.

All the Great Wide Sea: The prose is so purple here. I had so much fun writing it. It's a short, open-ended fic written all in a hurry because I thought the collection closed a day sooner than it did, and I basically just threw women sailors, running off to sea to join your man, and Age of Sail tavern imagery together with gleeful abandon. The 'being metamours with the ocean' theme isn't explored as thoroughly as I'd like, but... I couldn't resist adding the tag because I amuse myself too much. I'd never written fic for a song fandom before, even though the existence of it is one of my favorite things about Yuletide before; I'm glad I finally did.

Raise Bid to 31 Pieces of Silver: This title is... a thing. I refused to let mysef name it 'Silver and Hemp,' because this is not a religious fic and for fuck's sake come up with a better reference for a fic about treachery, but, well. I could not, in fact, come up with a better reference. But I did manage to at least include the idea of being tempted out of treachery, and I like the implicit cynicism of the bid thing. Because, you know: Machiavellian secret-police teenagers.

This was a great prompt, and I made a beeline straight for a traitor!Rowan/Elsa worldstate, because that is my favorite route hands down. This is also the first time in I don't know how long that I've used jealousy as a shippy plot device! I don't usually like it, and I don't find it cute in any way; but this isn't meant to be a cute fic, and part of what I love about this fandom is that it's an all-female cast where everyone gets to have a lot of rough edges.

Oh, and I also got to play around with incorporating game mechanics into the story! I fucking love trying to de-abstract game mechanics in a way that doesn't contradict what you actually see. As if you couldn't tell from me regularly sneaking that shit into Dragon Age fic.

Comparative Theology: This was actually my second attempt at my main assignment! I wanted to do a post-canon adventure that involved everyone meeting up while Digger tried to get home, and then everyone having to share anecdotes from their past (since my recipient mentioned liking fic about 'how people get to where they are'), but I just. Could not make it work. I'd had the idea of writing a set of thematically-linked vignettes in the back of my head as a backup, and the idea of linking them specifically by theology clicked just as the deadline started to really intensely loom. And thus! It's a pretty baggage-heavy theme to use, and I did worry about that -- especially in a gift fic -- but, well. The tagline is "A wombat. A dead god. A very peculiar epic." I figured I was probably safe. And one of my favorite things about the comic is what it does with the relationship between the human (or... worshiper of various species) and the divine.

I drew on a bunch of Ursula Vernon's print work as well as the actual comic (though I still got a lot of my own particular High Drama all over the prose, trying to capture the tone of things like the Saltlace sequence in words. The line about the Mint Idiot is in there entirely because I was like 'this voice is drifting way too far back towards just me. QUICK, ADD SOME PLANTS.' The Baba Yaga line is a direct reference to Summer in Orcus too.

I may eventually try and salvage what I had of my original attempt. I hewed closer to canon tones, I think, and I had some good fucking Jabberworck dialogue.

Anything That Talks: This one is secretly my baby. I was surprised to find myself really interested in Jhalm on later read-throughs, because I wasn't the first time; but it turned out I wanted to poke at him. And I really wanted to poke at Murai's decision to be his leash, and at what that might look like, and how she would choose to do it. Twisty power dymanics! The power actually lying with the person with less outward authority! Using one's own weakness as a source of strength! Very rigid people needing to bend or die, and what that costs! MY SHIT. (And I didn't actually realize that last was, in fact, something I keep revisiting until this moment, but hm. This sure is the third fic on that theme I've posted since November.)

Something I absolutely did not do intentionally during this fic and then noticed in the editing: I don't reference color anywhere in this fic other than 'cold white-glowing eyes.' Perils of writing for a black-and-white comic! (I didn't do that in either 'Comparative Theology' or my false start; fic isn't canon, text isn't a comic, and you've got to use the medium you're working with. But I left it alone for this one; I liked it.)

#yuletide #yuletide 2017 #digger #imperial radch #black closet #brandy (you're a fine girl)#queen's thief #summer in orcus #otp: the cup was overturned; the wine spilled #fanfic #it all goes around

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jeffreyrwelch · 6 years

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Dug Up at Dogster: Premiere of the Movie ‘Show Dogs’

O.K. I have to say that I do love comedian and actor Will Arnett (he’s from Arrested Development and he plays Batman in the Lego movie) and the charming singer, writer and actor Alan Cumming (Instinct, The Good Wife). They are just two of the many stars in director Raja Gosnell’s action and adventure comedy Show Dogs in theaters on May 18. And, the movie stars a bunch of dogs, which is always a plus when you’re a dog lover.

The story pairs Max, a good-looking Rottweiler and police dog, with a human partner — funny man Will Arnett. Much to his dismay, Max is ordered to go undercover as a prestigious show dog in Las Vegas to solve a case of animal smuggling. Anyone who has ever watched a dog show knows it’s not all just primping and preening, so we can imagine the rude awakening Max is in for.

Want to know more? Dogster got a chance to ask director Raja Gosnell about the movie.

Q&A About Show Dogs With Raja Gosnell

A scene from Show Dogs.

Dogster: What is the central theme of the movie? Raja Gosnell: A macho, loner police dog, Max (voiced by Ludacris) is forced to partner with a human FBI agent Frank (Will Arnett). They go undercover at the prestigious Canini Invitational Dog Show in Las Vegas to rescue a kidnapped baby panda and bust the nefarious animal smuggling ring that kidnapped her. In the process, Max shakes up the stuffy social order of the dog show world, and Max and Frank learn to work together and respect each other.

The theme of the movie revolves around learning to trust others who are different from you. Show Dogs is a nostalgic, throwback talking-dog/buddy-cop/fish-out-of-water mash-up.

Tell us a little about the dogs and animal trainers of the movie? Show Dogs stars a Rottweiler (Que), a Papillon (Razor), a Pug (Roxy), an Australian Shepherd (Elsa), a Komondor (Dar), a Xoloitzcuintli — Mexican Hairless (Mango), a Yorkie (Macho), a Basset Hound (Uzi), a Whippet (Romey), and a whole host of real-life show dogs and their owners. The lead trainer is Mike Alexander, who did Beverly Hills Chihuahua with me. The rest of the fantastic trainer team came primarily from the UK and Europe.

Any funny stories about the dog actors on set? We shot the film in Wales in the winter and the dogs loved the cold, so we tended to keep the sets in the 50- to 60-degree Fahrenheit zone. While the human performers were shivering and the crew was in parkas, the dogs had the time of their lives. Even at that temperature Que, our star Rottweiler, drooled constantly. It was like a spigot! Mike had to wipe him down after every take.

The funniest thing I remember is our very proper Papillon trying to stay in character while watching strands of drool pour from the Rottweiler’s mouth.

Elsa, the Australian Shepherd, loved people and would jump up into their arms knowing they would catch her. Sometimes you could be mid-conversation, gesturing about something and suddenly find an Australian Shepherd in your arms licking your face!

Are there any other animal actors in the movie, and what can you tell us about them and their roles? While there are other animal characters in the film, they are all CGI created. A baby panda named Ling Li, a tiger named Deepak, and three wannabe cop pigeons.

A scene from Show Dogs.

What would you hope viewers take away from this film? Time for some throwback fun! And lots of behind-the-scenes dog show vignettes, told primarily from the dog’s point of view. These characters are proud competitors, and take their world and their place in it quite seriously. Honestly, I hope the audience enjoys seeing gorgeous, real-life dogs doing what they love. While us humans had fun making this film, I’m convinced no one had more fun than these brilliant canines.

How does the film reflect the real world with dogs today? And are there any serious dog issues that it addresses? Not in any on-the-nose way. Our characters have pretty universal concerns. Where they fit in the world (or pack), getting along with others, being good at what they do. I think those are emotions shared by humans and show dogs alike.

Catch the movie in theaters starting May 18 and find out more at #ShowDogsMovie on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter and on the movie’s official website, showdogs-movie.com. Also, check out the trailers on YouTube.

Live Action Cast: Will Arnett, Natasha Lyonne Voice Cast: Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, Jordin Sparks, Gabriel “Fluffy” Iglesias, Shaquille O’Neal, Alan Cumming and Stanley Tucci Directed by: Raja Gosnell Written by: Max Botkin Rated: PG