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#That's the delema I'm facing
kakusu-shipping · 1 year
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I’m making a Mario Series Shipping Chart and Bowser is making it incredibly difficult to format
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pippinboi · 3 years
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So, I'm confused. Logically, I know what I need to do to keep myself from spiraling into another deprassive episode. But tell me why, even when I do that, I feel like I'm being selfish. Tell me why, if I feel ike I look really good one day, I can't admit it because that would be stuck up of me. Tell me why i get so angry when I achieve something that I know is great, but can't get over being mad because I don't want to look like an ass hole.
Someone tell me why i can't be happy without feeling guilty. Tell me why i feel bad for doing things that I know are going to be better for me. Someone please, tell me when I'll start thinking abouy me and what I need instead of thinking about everyone else's feelings.
Just when I think I'm on the road up I get pulled back down again by something that I shouldn't even be worried about. Why, even if I'm in the right, do I feel bad for someone who's done me wrong.
I'm over sleepless nights thinking about other people. I wanna be selfish. Time and time again I tell people that sometimes, in order to be happy, you have to be a little bit selfish. But why can't I do that. I can't take days off work because I know its hard to get staff in. I can't think that i look cute for a day because that would be conceded. I just feel like I cant be happy for an extended period of time because I don't allow myslef any amount of happiness incase its an inconviniance to someone else.
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philanddanxreader · 7 years
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Mosh pit.
Hello, love bugs!
Phil X Reader 
Warnings- swears,
Request: Y/N is at a concert when they suddenly collapse and are getting crushed in the pit, but Phil comes and carries them backstage trying to help them then Y/N tells Phil that they live 7-8 hours away so they have to stay in the flat with them? I’ll let you choose the ending😏 ~Sincerely, An EmoTrashCan.💜
You didn't even want to go to this stupid concert. There would be a million people all around you stomping on your feet and invading your person space. Fuck people. You had to go. You promised your friend that you would go for her birthday. You should have gotten her tickets to a museum of something else not related to a ton of hot jumping people. 
“Hurry Y/N, I want to go close to the stage.”
“ I’m coming, Gosh this band isn’t even a rock band who would have a mosh pit.”
“It doesn’t matter grumpy. Maybe if we were lucky the main singer will touch our hands.”
“Listen, I'm honestly so glad that you’re excited about your birthday present but I just don't think I can be as jazzed as you. This being said, I'm being supportive and I'm going to try and enjoy myself.
The concert didn’t start to seem so bad until the herds of people that started to crowd around yourself and your friend.You wouldn’t say that crowds bother you but having no real room to move around or even hear your own thoughts. Thankfully the show started and you had something to distract you. The music was pretty good. It was so loud but at least you knew a few songs. After the first few songs, everyone started to become somewhat rowdy and start to push people around to get closer to the front. This wasn’t your first mosh pit you had been in but something wasn't sitting right in the pit of your stomach. You had tried your hardest to stay near your friend but it she was much more focused on the music so she wasn’t as concerned about staying at least an arm’s length away. After a few more songs that you couldn't fully enjoy because you were so concentrated on making sure you could see your friend you were suddenly caught up in a full-on mosh pit. Before you even knew it you were pushed down to the ground. You had blacked out from hitting your head on the gross sticky floor. Thankfully you weren’t on the ground for very long before you felt arms around you pulling you up and away from the people who couldn’t care less if they stepped on a girl. To them, you were probably just a drunk girl who took it literally when someone says let the bodies hit the floor.
“What’s your name love?” A soft voice came from your saviour who was brushing your hair away from your face. 
You smile at the new face.“Y/N.” unfortunately your smile left your face fairly quickly as it was replaced with pain. 
The adrenaline was gone and was replaced with the pain of being trampled on. “Listen not that I’m not enjoying being held in your arms. I’m not exactly enjoying being on this gross sticky floor.” Phil understood and helped you up to your feet. This was a bit of a struggle as your right ankle was definitely sprained. Once you and Phil had reached the front doors you could finally sit on a bench and see the damage. 
“Well, the good news is that we won’t have to amputate. The bad news is that you seem to have a bunch of bruises and a sprained ankle.” Phil was helping you look at the damage in the brighter light now near the t-shirt tent.
“Well, I’m glad I don’t have to get a new leg. Could you look above my ear? I hope it’s just sticky floor gunk and not blood. ” you turned your head to the right to have Phil have a better look.
 "Your hair kinda looks like it was stuck to the cinema ground for a while. Other then that no blood. Listen can I get you a cab or something. I have no problem paying.“
 "I could never take your money. Besides, I don’t live in London. I brought my friend here for the concert. We were going to drive my car back home after the concert. I’m sure I can drive.” With that, you tried to stand but failed instantly. Thanks for nothing ankle.
 "Absolutely not. I can’t in good faith let you drive home. You and your friend are going to stay the night at my flat. You’re going to have a shower to get unsticky. Then you will rest and hopefully, your ankle will feel better in the morning.“ You couldn’t argue. He was being so kind. You and Phil had found your car in the parking lot and decided to wait fro your friend. You didn’t text her about what happened because you knew she would instantly come out of the concert and freak. 
“So not that you saw much of the concert what did you think?” Phil was looking to you as if he genuinely cared about your answer. He was such a precious guy. 
“I actually don’t really like the band all that much, it was more of a gift for my friend.” Then it hit you like a ton of bricks. “ Oh my god I am complete and udder ass hat. You come to this concert and your missing it for me. Please go back in. Fuck this is embarrassing.” Phil laughed at your outbreak. It seemed odd to you that he would laugh when you felt so terrible.
“Oh i don’t like that band. I was given free tickets and i figured it might be a fun thing to do alone. so many people are afraid to do things alone so i make a point once a month to go and try new things alone. tonight was this concert that i really wasn’t enjoying. You are kinda my excuse not to go back in.” You both smiled at his response. You instantly felt way let guilty leading his from the concert. 
“Well if your not into this music what do you like?” The both of you spent the next hour talking about your likes and dislikes. This included music, food, weird people always being attracted to the both of you. Phil decided that this must be the sign that two weirdo magnets attracted each other was meant to be. Just as you were about to talk about what the two of you do for a living your phone buzzed with your friends face. She was calling wondering where the hell you went. Once you told her to meet you at the car you told her the whole story about what happened and how Phil was the saviour. She had told you that she met an old fling at the concert and that she wanted to go home with him. You made sure she was safe before she took off with this new old fling. Phil jumped into the driver’s seat before setting off towards his apartment. As the two of you pulled up you realised how creepy it is that you let a guy drive you to his place and you are really unable to run away. 
“Is it weird that I’m about to go into a strangers house?” You words slipped out before you could keep them in your brain. Phil looked at you and smiled, he never even thought about this being weird or anything bad happening.
“What if I promise that I am not some psycho murderer who eats faces. I can pinky promise if it means that much to you.” How could you not trust him even if he was a bad guy? “Plus my roommate is home and I would never kill you when he’s home” You felt a little bit better but still cautious as Phil helped you up the flights of stairs. He apologised almost every second step saying that he didn’t think of you having a busted up ankle and stairs being a problem. You pushed through leaning on him for support as the two of you finally reached his front door. Once inside you could hear the faint sounds of a TV in the background. Phil smiled and called out to his roommate. 
“Dan! I hope your decent as I have a guest over.” He smiled at you making you feel silly for ever thinking he was some kind of freak. there are genuinely nice people in the world and Phil seemed to be one of them. Just as your thoughts wondered you saw a new face standing at the top of the landing. “y/n, home town this is my roommate Dan Howell. Dan this is y/n unknown last name. I met her at the concert as she was trampled on the ground. I couldn’t leave her with a sprained ankle and all sticky to drive a couple of hours back home so i’m making her stay and take a warm shower and wait for her friend to come back in the morning from spending an evening with an ex.” Dan simply nodded his head as if this was a normal thing that happens in there lives. Phil continued to guide you to hid room where he set to work. soon he had a fluffy towel beside you on his bed with an old shirt for you to wear. You didn’t need much convincing to take a warm shower to rid yourself of god knows what from the floor that has attached itself to your body. 
Once situated you crawled into the warm water of the shower enjoying the fresh water washing off the grossness. You did have a delema on what body wash to pick as both of them were sented like a man so you decided to go with the best smelling one. After the shower you stood in your towel facing the giant mirror. You looked much better then before but your mascara had started to make you look a bit like a raccoon. After rubbing the bottom of your eyes with the dampish towel you decided to put on the clothes that Phil had given you. You felt soft and warm in the shirt but there was no way that his shorts were going to work. You put them on just to make it back up to his room where you found him finishing the last bit of changing his bed sheets. You knocked on the door to make sure he wouldn’t jump from you entering. He smiled when he saw you waving for you to come over to him. 
“So I just changed all of my bedding so you could sleep here. I will sleep on the futon.” This immediately made you cross your arms. This wasn’t going to be a battle he won. 
“I am most defiantly not sleeping in your bed. I will go sleep on the couch. You have been way to nice to me already and the last thing that I’m going to do is sleep in your bed without you.” You pause rethinking what you just said. “I didn’t mean i want to sleep with you in your bed. I was trying to say that this is your bed and I will not sleep in it. Not that i wouldn’t sleep with you.” Absolute word vomit. Your face was turning red from embarrassment. Thankfully Phil just laughed at your awkwardness. 
“I know what you meant. I honestly don’t want to argure with you which is why i already put my other bedding in the office so you can’t disagree anymore.” Phil smiled down at you before a frown replaced it’s place. He quickly moved to his drawers where he pulled out a pair of boxers with snow flakes on them. “There clean i promise. Use these as pj bottoms if you want.”
“You’re to sweet you may give me a cavity Phil Lester.” You took the boxers then pulled Phil into a tight hug. “Who knew a stranger at a concert could be so kind. Thank you so much.” It was Phil’s turn to turn red. 
“No problem, Have sweet dreams y/n.” With that Phil placed a soft kiss to your forehead before leaving the room and closing the door.
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pippinboi · 3 years
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So some shit is going down at my work. Again. And now I'm in the middle of it because I'm sick of people getting away with doing fuck all and making it out like my boss is out to get them when they haven't looked at the bigger picture of why certain things happen. Changes get made for the be if it of the business and aren't there to accommodate whatever selfish needs you have.
If I've had a conversation with someone about how another person is unreliable and slack, it's because I'd rather do that then snap while talking to you and yell till you cry because I am not a nice person when I've reached my limit. I may have a long fuse but there is an end to it. And I've reached. The end of my fuse. After the same shit happening for the past 3 years, I've finally said, fuck this, I'm not going to carry this load on my back when it should be shared amongst the entire store.
So yes, we were friends, but that ended about a year ago when I got stuck cleaning up after you and your bf. That ended when hanging out with you made me a more aggressive person to be around. That ended when you both thought you knew me better than i know myself.
So I'm expecting an oncoming storm of bullshit to come my way and have you call me names and throw accusations my way. I'm ready for you to scream and cry like a child because things aren't going that way you want them. You've already burnt all your bridges at work. You've acted immature and unrational too many times.
I don't know why you decided to act that way but enough is enough. You've endangered someone's livelyhood, someone with a family, someone with only one income. That person isn't me, but he is someone that has had my back no matter what. And I think it's disgusting the way you try and pin things in him that you just haven't understood properly.
I am so sick of you posting shit about how you wish you could hit people, that the way people talk about you is a reflection of them bit you. I'm sick of tip toeing around you because you're having a bad day.
So whatever happens on Friday, I'm ready to give my side of the story, 100% truthfully. I did say somethings that were not nice. 8 admit that. I admit I shouldn't have been talking about it at all. But there is no way you can look me in the eye and tell me you haven't been doing the same thing. Because I know you have.
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