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icycoldninja · 5 months

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DMC incorrect quotes (pt 3)

Vergil: Are you drunk? Dante: Only on the spirit of Christmas! Nero: And the spirit of whisky.

Nero, to Vergil: Why is Dante not talking? Vergil: I'm playing the silent game with him. Nero: Well, then you just lost. Vergil: I lost two hours ago. I gave him ear plugs and told him to close his eyes. It was the only way I could think of to get him to shut up.

Dante: I don’t even use tubberware anymore. Vergil: What are you saying? Say it again. Dante: Tubberware. Vergil: Say it again. Slow. Dante: Tubberware. Vergil: Slow, very slow - actually, say the first syllable. Dante: Tub. Vergil: Wrong. Dante: What do you mean, wrong? Vergil: I thought I caught that. You’re saying tub. It’s P. Dante: What are you talking about? Vergil: Tupperware. Tupper. Dante: It’s tupper! Vergil: It’s tupper, always has been, always will be. Dante: I thought it was tubberware because it kind of looks like a tub.

Nero: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them? Dante: Actually, it's not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It's just that you LOOK for things when you need them. Nero: Okay yeah thanks Dante, that's great but WHERE'S THE FUCKING FIRST AID KIT?

Dante, grinning: Before you were what? Vergil: Before I was- Dante: What? Vergil: Before I was inter- Dante: Before you were interrupted? Vergil: Cut me off one more time and I swear I'll- Dante: What? Vergil: makes frustrated sound Nero, nervously: Stop that. Before he hurts you.

Dante: Do crabs think people walk sideways? Vergil: …Dante, what the hell.

Vergil, as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because… Vergil, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.

Vergil, after getting a library card: Now I know what true power feels like.

Nero: Did you buy eggs like I asked? Dante: Even better! Nero: What the fuck did you- Dante: holding up a chicken Her name is Fluffy.

Dante, on the phone: Uh. . Hey, Lady, i uh, I’ve been stabbed. Nero: WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU? Dante: Wait- You aren’t Lady. Sorry- I didn’t mean to call you- Nero: NO, WHERE ARE YOU? IM COMING THERE. IM NOT GOING TO LEAVE SOMEONE ALONE THATS BEEN STABBED.

Nero: Would you like your pizza cut into six or eight slices, Dante? Dante: Oh just six, I don’t think I could eat eight.

Dante: Hopefully Vergil has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings. Vergil: Oh, shut up and die Dante.

Nero: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!? Vergil, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.

Nero: Silence is golden. Vergil: Duct tape is silver.

Dante: Big day today, Vergil. holds up two shirts Mustard stain or ketchup stain? Vergil: Mustard– looks less like blood.

Vergil: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules. Nero: What? Vergil: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

Dante: I’m so tired. Vergil: Did you get to bed late? Dante: No. Vergil: Did you do something strenuous? Dante: No. Vergil: Then why are you tired? Dante: I’m alive. Vergil: Sounds exhausting.

Dante, slamming pots and pans together to the rhythm of "Give it to me, I'm worth it": I didn't get no sleep cause a' y'all! Y'all never gonna sleep cause a' me!

#Dmc #Dmc5 #Dmc dante #Dmc Nero #Dmc vergil #incorrect quotes #Funny #Lol #dmc incorrect quotes #Dante sparda #Vergil sparda #Nero sparda #Sparta boys incorrect quotes #Laughed so hard at the last one

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wardisahi · 3 years

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Desmond: Why are you guys talking like that? And how come I never get the cool jobs to do?

Evie: Well, you sometimes have difficulties comprehending the complexities of certain tasks.

Desmond: Huh?

Kassandra: You do not understand how to carry out some assignments.

Desmond: What?

Bayek: You don't know how to do a lot of stuff, D.

Desmond: Excuse me?

Ezio: You're not smart.

Desmond: WHAT?!

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