#Sorry abt this I'm just tired and angry and bisexual

[theophagie-remade]

Sorry, i was a little angry when i wrote that last ask fsr lol. I think i just don't want to constantly think abt the worst, it's really tiring. I don't want to assume Horikoshi is just completely ignorant to the story he is writing, just so the superficial one sided crush can go forward. Maybe i'm delusional but whatever.

I hadn't even noticed that you were angry, no worries! And I realise that I'm not the best person to talk about certain things with, I tend to preventively look at the options I dislike the most so that I won't be disappointed afterwards/in case I end up being pleasantly surprised in the end (⇀ ↼‶) But yeah, "Does the author realise the implications? Are they aware?" is a never-ending struggle, and in general I would say that coincides do exist, but in this case I find it hard to believe that everything that happened with tgck in this chapter was accidental, especially in light of Toga's canon bisexuality, her whole backstory and how it parallels irl demonisation of queer identities, how out of all vampire stories out there he chose to reference IWTV (mva arc) and Carmilla (now)... how to Toga drinking blood equals kissing, how Uraraka is now telling her to always get it from her... 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫...

But I do also think that matters like these, like what kinds of relationships he can portray explicitly and all, are tied to internal issues and dynamics within Shonen Jump and Shueisha in general :/ so it's a juggle between super heavy-handed subtext on one side and underdeveloped text to "balance it out" on the other, or at least this is how I see it

(I mean. "The crush" is a subplot that needs to be resolved one way or the other, it's just that bringing it up within this specific context is the deflection of the century lol)

About what you said last, something that I really want to say is that I think there's a huge problem within this fandom, especially/specifically amongst twitter bkdk and tgck fans, and it's this... thing with splitting people into two groups: "the delusional ones who think either/both of them will be canon" and "the cowards who are too scared to believe that either/both of them will be canon". Now again, I'm a doomerist by nature, but I really don't think there's anything wrong with hoping for more/better things, especially since we're all coming from the same place in the end. There's a number of individuals on both sides who keep fuelling this discussion, but ultimately all that this does is add toxicity to a (mostly queer) community (with lots of women in it) that as it is has to deal with (often queerphobic and misogynistic) people on the daily, so it really would be in everyone's interest to move on from this petty feud and learn to coexist in peace again

#myasks #animanga #long post #bnha #togachako

[troglobite]

jalsdkjflkdj

i just realized that there are two major social forces rn that are at odds and it's eating me alive

public discourse around social justice is major. 👍🏼

but so is the anti-cringe, anti-sincerity bullshit.

i'm just sort of like [confused bisexual brazilian woman trying to do math] about that.

someone called voyager cringe and i'm like ??? bc they're around 40, have embraced their own style, are very sincere, and maybe have elements of goofy personalities and senses of humor?

why the fuck do you care? why is that embarrassing? grow the fuck up.

i'm tired of this shit where you can't be sincere

i try to be sincere w my friends and they act like they're fucking allergic (again if you're reading this it most likely doesn't apply to you)

and i'm really tired of it

i feel like some "well meaning" ppl have appropriated and weaponized sincerity to be nice instead of kind maybe? and now, what, we're just supposed to never be sincere abt anything?

you're just never supposed to believe anyone unless they're being a giant fucking asshole abt it, or super negative?

like hello, isn't that the problem w the far right? they don't believe that any of us sincerely think that healthcare education housing and food should be free. they don't believe in sincerity. they mock it.

and i feel like ppl on the left act the same fucking way.

you can decide in every interpersonal reaction whether you believe or trust someone, what your reaction and response is going to be, etc.

but i just feel like ppl deride "positivity" and sincerity, still, and call shit cringe

and the things they call cringe are either

completely innocent shit that is just something sincere and maybe "weird", if even that

or

someone being bigoted in a really stupid way, or being ignorant and doubling down

and it's like

you could just call them that instead of calling them cringe

and lumping that in with your hatred of the sweet and sincere

like i'm sorry, we want to abolish prisons and police--but you wanna be a fucking jackass to every person you meet and think sarcasm and irony are the only way to operate?

idk i just see it as this weird dissonance and i'm realizing it's what makes me VERY uncomfortable

bc i am a deeply sincere person who had to learn to make jokes and be ironic and sarcastic

and i still do for fun, of course, bc we all need a healthy dose of nonsense and funsies

and idk what to do when my sincerity is only okay when i'm angry abt something

and never in any other context

being a sincere fan of something once it's fallen out of popularity is "cringe"

and i'm really tired

as someone who was bullied for a million reasons, including being weird and cringey, for like my whole fucking life--

i'd really like it if we as grown fucking adults who are smarter and better than that could fucking stop it and learn to accept sincerity into our fucking lives

sincerity has EVERY place in social justice discourse--including ppl being able to sincerely apologize without everyone not believing them or writing them off

again, everyone gets to decide on a case by case basis how they respond to situations

but in general it's like....we're really prioritizing ironic detachment and scholarly speak bc that's what the right demands of us, but then we use it with each other and that just fucking sucks, dude

if we can't have sincerity and be "cringey" around those we have to defeat in public discourse

then why can't we have it with each other?

anyway. was just thinking.

ETA:

case in point

in reading over this myself, i started internally cringing bc i'm like "wow i sound like a white person asking everyone to play nice"

but i'm literally NOT

i'm half-white and also i'm asking for sincerity that isn't just critical. that allows ppl to feel things fully and without shame. loving things, each other, being wrong, being apologetic, being upset, being afraid, being nervous.

those can all be sincere

as can the sincere belief in what a just and righteous world looks like

and of course bc of our context that makes us mad a lot of the time

but if we're not operating out of a place of love for others, what are we even fucking doing here?

and love doesn't mean passive sweetness

it CAN be sweet

but sweet can also look different for different people and different contexts

sincerity is more than that

i'm not saying "play nice" i'm saying be real and vulnerable when and where you can

we should trust each other more and feel things for real with each other, bc otherwise, what the fuck are we doing?

am i supposed to just be like "yep, the only person i can be fully vulnerable with is my therapist" and think that that's okay? NO!!!

be sincere! be vulnerable! MEAN it! love things! don't put caveats or shame on things! it's okay to be wrong and apologetic! to sincerely not know something and ask questions. to gracefully accept and answer, etc.

idfk man i'm just. yeah.

[hoenursey]

Hi, can I ask the I guess story of Othello real quick even just a summary if you don't want to go in depth because I was excited about hearing about it, but then I was also really thrown off seeing Othello being a slave and all and now I'm just kinda confused?? Because Nursey in silk with a choking kink DOES sound amazing but I guess I'm just confused af now

lmao, okay, so. originally i was writing just an au of nursey and dex playing desdemona and othello, respectively. however, othello’ character background is that he was a former slave and a moorsman, or a person from the moor, and moorsmen are black people.

the beginning of othello starts with roderigo and iago outside of the house of brabantion, desdemona’s father. roderigo is jealous of othello because he’s in love with desdemona and she pretty much turned everyone down and she’s like dainty and pretty and hot as fuck, like the most beautiful fair girl ever and shit, but she’s falling in love with othello. also i’m pretty sure roderigo saw her and othello chilling or w/e. so basically, in the middle of the fuckening night, roderigo and iago start yelling to brabantion to come outside and talk to them. brabantion is generally a pretty cool dad and he’s like “bitch she doesn’t like u stop getting drunk and coming to my house my daughter turned ur ass down already”, rod and iago proceed to say a bunch of racist shit and say “check her bed she’s out being a slut with a black dude lol” to which dadbra says “she would never she’s so sweet and she’s also turned down literally everyone who’s ever wanted to date her” but desi, my girl, is actually gone from her bed, so dadbra is like “you’re right!!! i can’t believe my daughter is fucking around before marriage in the middle of the night!!! i trusted her!!! time to go chase after othello, who i welcomed into my house, with a bunch of pitchforks” which they do. they show up to othello’s crib like “what’s up here’s our accusations time to throw you in jail for fucking my daughter because if she turned down all the hot dudes in the entire city she’s definitely not gonna fuck a black dude out of wedlock unless there was some type of witchcraft involved” to and othello is like “uhh okay cool i’m dealing with the house of senators rn so like. can this wait a second my dudes” and they’re like “perfect! we’re gonna show them what a terrible black dude you are!”

they go in front of the senators and they’re like “what’s the sitch why is this angry mob here my dude” dadbra is like “uh he fucked my daughter, i’m sending him to jail for witchcraft or kidnapping bc there’s literally no other way she’d fuck a black dude when she doesn’t even like these hot white dudes”

othello’s like “uh actually i married her”

everyone: “what”

and he kind of explains like “buddy yeah i’m not super good with words so i’m not gonna bs you. i married your daughter. no kidnapping, drugging, or witchcraft. she fell in love with me and so now we’re married. she’s at the inn down the street also so like i’m def not fucking her since we’re at my house and she’s at a hotel”

everyone except dadbra is like “oh okay that sounds reasonable” but dadbra is like “you’re telling me that my good white upper class daughter fell in love with a black dude who she’d be afraid to look at? i’m calling bullshit it’s clearly witchcraft”

the duke p much is like “uh… but where’s the receipts tho i don’t see any witchcraft” and the senators are like “go get desdemona so we can confirm this also othello bro keep talking”

othello’s like “yeah i was a warrior and i travelled a lot and dadbra used to like me a lot so he invited me over to hear my stories about the wars and how i fought and battles and being on ships. i told him my entire life story from when i was a kid all the way until now, how i was captured and sold as a slave, how i bought my own freedom and just all types of cool shit and then when she did her chores around the house for dadbra she would come around as soon as she finished and ask me more and ask me to tell her more stories” essentially desi thinks he’s hot and a tragic hero and she’s like “everything that happened to you sucks but you’ve also got some sick ass stories so maybe that makes it a little better? idk sorry all this bad shit happened to you but you’re rly interesting to talk to. if any friends had any stories like yours i’d probably fall in love with them”

othello’s like “yeah uh i’m not that smart and i’m more of a military dude than an intellectual but i know a fucking hint when i see one”

he says the sweetest thing too like “she loved me for the horrors i had been through and that i had the strength to come out on top, and i loved her for feeling so strongly about me and having passion. here comes my wife now and she’ll tell you the exact same story”

desi comes in and is like “yeah dad sorry i shouldn’t have like run out in the middle of the night to get married but i really do love him promise no messing around”

and this is part of the reason i think brabantion is kinda cool bc he’s not actually a racist he just said some shit without rly thinking and let the things that he’s used to hearing influence him and he’s like “oh, well, you’re in love. that’s fine then sorry i didn’t realize. i’m super glad you’re my only daughter because after this whole disaster, if you’d had any younger sisters i know i would have overreacted and acted like a prison warden to them and women don’t deserve that. i’m still a little upset abt u sneaking out in the middle of the night but like blessings on your marriage i guess.

so that’s like…. act one

later on some fuckery happens, iago decides to be a dick, because they’re all together for some reason that i don’t feel like saying idk something abt the turks and also because he’s a miserable worm

cassio is one of their friends who’s also there and he’s, like, some type of foreign i think (probably spanish or italian) and has respect for women and his wife (who’s not there) but bc he’s spanish or italian (probably italian as verona is mentioned and shakespeare REALLY has a thing abt italy??? idk he’s a pasta fucker) or whatever he does the thing where he kisses people on the cheek and because it’s the elizabethan era, he kisses women’s hands, and earlier he had like politely greeted desdemona and iago’s wife and called them beautiful and smart and shit and called iago out on being a misogynistic piece of shit. iago like actively hates his wife and also literally anyone else’s happiness so he’s like i’m gonna fuck up cassio’s life and i’m gonna fuck up othello and desi’s and also he’s a jealous racist misogynistic asshole wants to fuck up othello and desdemona’s (healthy, loving, trusting, equal) relationship so he’s like

"hey othello. ur wife’s a slut. she’s fucking cassio behind ur back lol”

and othello, who thinks his wife is the shit, is like *daveed diggs voice* “whaaaaat”

iago: “yeah totes she’s a massive hoe”

and othello is like “nah not my wife. maybe someone else’s wife, but not mine”

and iago is like “no bro im serious. we’re sleeping in the same bed (i don’t know why i mean his fucking wife is there isn’t she) he’s been having like wet dreams about her and saying ‘damn i wish u weren’t with that black dude’ and he’s been rolling over in his sleep and dry humping me whilst moaning ur wife’s name” (honestly iago the reason you don’t like women is because you’re gay and jealous calm down)

(literally that was so extra i can’t believe how overwhelmingly bisexual shakespeare was that he needed to slide that gay ass shit in there)

anyways othello’s like “okay so that’s a little weird but that doesn’t mean she did anything. maybe cassio just wants to bang my wife. that’s understandable, as id also like to bang my wife” (they’re super into PDA they’re so in love)

iago: fair. also iago: i mean there’s no way to prove it but like… maybe your wife gave him something. like, idk, does she have a hand embroidered handkerchief maybe? just a thought just a thought lolothello: ya i gave that to her as like a courtship gift she never goes anywhere without it bc she loves me so muchiago: yeah well uh i cassio wiping his beard with it so they’re definitely fuckingothello, my dumb son: NO!!! THAT DEFINITELY MEANS THEYRE FUCKING IF MY WIFE GAVE AN ITEM OF GREAT SENTIMENTAL AND PERSONAL SIGNIFICANCE TO HIM!!! MY ABSOLUTELY TOTALLY FAITHFUL AND COMPLETELY INNOCENT UP UNTIL THIS POINT WIFE!!!!

so he’s like “uh i have to kill her i guess now :(((((((”

problem is he’s still fucking in love with her like he literally loves her so much and can’t even bear to stab her like a normal person would do if they’re trying to kill their wife, so what does he do? he fucking kisses her awake to explain what he’s doing and why he’s doing it and then gently smothers her to death

so gently, in fact, that she doesn’t actually die, just passes out

a servant walks in and is like “boi what the FUCK”

othello: uh

it’s desi’s handmaiden lmao and he’s like “i had to she’s fucking other men” to which she says “no she’s not you idiot” and then desdemona wakes up to say something dramatic and then properly dies

except no she doesn’t bc othello literally is just really really fucking in love with his wife so he’s an incredibly ineffective murderer despite literally having been in the military for almost all of his life but that’s all i’m explaining bc my hands are tired and i answered this all on mobile plus that’s all you need to know for my story

#othello #aus #anonyomous #fic talk #asks