#She's been walking around with a splitting headache for a century waiting for some damn chosen one to come and Get Their Sword

[mycorrhizastar]

If you pull this thing outta her noggin' you get to keep it.

#swordtember #swordtember2023 #unicorn #Forest Spirit #described in alt text #cw: eyestrain #artums #She's been walking around with a splitting headache for a century waiting for some damn chosen one to come and Get Their Sword

[subukunojess]

On The Edge of Living (Ch 1)

Archive of Our Own / DeviantArt / FanFiction

Fandom: Beetlejuice the Musical

Word Count: 5,511

Content Warnings/Awareness: Death, Blood, Possible Gore, Mentions of Abuse, Smoking, Suicidal Themes, Giant, Tiny, G/T, People, objects, and animals are getting eaten, Vore (don’t know whether to tag it as such), Fluff, Angst, Adventure, Found Family, Friendship, just everything is wild.

Pairings: Charles/Delia, Past Charles/Emily, hints of Beetlelands, hints of Lydia/OC

Summary: AU. Lydia Deetz knew her life would turn upside down when she moved to a supposed haunted house with her father and life coach. What she didn’t expect were two actual ghosts living in her attic or being cursed to be bound to a demon sealed in some ancient spell book.With a growing emotional demon by her side and the afterlife betting on their future, Lydia will travel from Hell and back to break the curse and find out where she belongs… if her new town doesn’t end up being rampaged first.

Here’s my entry for the Beetlejuice Big Bang!

This was a surprise project I decided to take on when I saw it on my dash and I wanted to challenge myself writing with word count in mind. I knew I wanted to write a Beetlejuice AU with a tiny Lydia and a giant Beetlejuice, so I worked from there. I also wanted to challenge myself by planning and organizing my story ahead rather than take it chapter by chapter. Although it’s been difficult, I managed to pass the required 10 K mark and plan out the gist of my story. As of now, I have the chapters figure out and I have at least 20 K, but at the moment I have three completed chapters. I hope to work on the fic during my free time. 

Thank you, @beetlejuicebigbang for giving me the opportunity to do this! Without further delay, here’s the first chapter of my fic:

Chapter 1: The Curse Begins

In life, people say that only death is certain. For the afterlife? Eternity, any suffering of some kind, and the places the dead end up. Depending on the soul and the circumstances of someone's death, a person could be sent to a variety of realms. There were different versions of Heaven, Hell, Limbo, and in some cases, a holiday world. This tale in particular resides in the living realm, Hell, and the Netherworld.

There were two major details that the living didn't know about the afterlife. The first one was that the Netherworld was like a creepy airport for the recently deceased, only that it was really a dark abyss that led to who knows where with no way of telling where anyone would end up.

The second thing? Demons are really huge compared to humans, dead or alive. In the living realm, they blended with humans physically to make situations easier. But in Hell? A demon's true height could range between seven feet to hundreds of feet tall. And Hell wasn't just a cavern of fire and brimstone either. It was the dark, grimy underworld of a city where slum lords lurked in the alleys and the air was polluted with a fiery, red haze. It was nine circles of everlasting torture ruled by cardinal sins and vices. And for a certain demon who spent most of her afterlife in the Netherworld, it was an empty and bleak waiting room in a large office building with the walls decaying and the air smelling of burnt socks.

Juno Shoggoth scowled as her heels clacked against the tiles of the hallway, walking to the waiting room while trying not to hunch over as usual. Once she had signed in with the receptionist, she took her seat and briefly pulled the cigarette out from her lips, letting the smoke ooze out from the slit on her neck.

"Why did he have to call a meeting now of all times?" Juno hissed, crossing her legs. "Doesn't he know my work schedule in general?"

As director of Netherworld Customs and Processing, it was her job to make sure that the transition from life to the afterlife went smoothly for the dead. Sure, the work was tedious and the woman would rather smoke for eternity than deal with tiny annoyances, but she was assigned to the position not by choice. She literally and figuratively grew from a civil servant spirit to a powerful demon overnight; one of her proudest achievements she had to admit.

Her biggest mistake was Lawrence.

Lawrence Betelgeuse Shoggoth. Just thinking about his name made her blow another smoke ring and want a shot of alcohol. Like most other demons who were born dead rather than turned into one, Betelgeuse appeared after Juno had affairs with a demon and the demon left. She didn't like children to begin with, let alone raising something that acted like one. Regardless, she didn't have a choice either when a dead-born was involved. Dead-borns were powerful shifters with abilities no one dared imagine and capable of changing their size more smoothly than regular demons, hence the curses placed on them and the mandatory supervision. If every realm in existence turned upside down and the blame traced back to Juno, she would never hear the end of it.

"Lucifer is ready for you now, Miss Juno!" The receptionist's shrill, but deep shriek interrupted her train of thought.

"It's about damn time." Juno muttered under her breath as she threw her cigarette away and stood up. A red line of energy was drawn in front of the demon out of nowhere before splitting in two and opening as a doorway to Lucifer's office. She walked through the portal, the line disappearing as soon as she entered the room. Although she got used to the afterlife, Juno would admit that she didn't know whether it was a relief or unnerving that the room was a typical office one would expect a boss to reside in with a chair and desk, save for the hazy landscape of hell on the other side of the window in front of her. At this point, she didn't even bother wondering.

"Have a seat, Juno." A deep, gruff voice commanded from a leather swivel chair in a calm tone, causing a slight echo in the room. Juno sat on the wooden chair without fanfare, glaring at the window.

The ruler of Hell was arguably the most massive demon ever known, probably rivaled by Leviathan if they got into a mood. Big horns? Monstrous? Usually dwelled at the very bottom of Hell? Most of the rumors were true along with the fact that everybody knew not to mess with him unless they had a wish worse than death. Despite such knowledge, Lucifer appeared from the swivel chair on the other side of the desk, much smaller than normal and dressed for business. A simple black suit and dark red tie with golden cuff links. Dark grey medium length hair with large twisted horns of ivory adorned on top of it. Yellow eyes with pupils akin to a goat's narrowed as he fixed his collar and cleared his throat.

"I have a feeling you know the reason why I called you here." Lucifer stated, raising an eyebrow. Juno returned the action.

"You usually don't call me unless A) you’re redesigning the Netherworld in some way or B) Beetlejuice is involved. Something tells me it's the latter."

"Come on, Juno. Don't sound like I keep calling you because of that! You're a good worker. No nonsense. Telling it like it is while sorting out the souls. You're one of the few demons I could tolerate." When Juno didn't respond, the ruler of Hell continued.

"I just wanted to discuss what our plans are for Lawrence in the future, that's all." Lucifer shrugged. "Just to prevent repeated offenses from happening. Despite his... flaws, your son still has potential. Deceit. Torture. Power that some dead-borns don't have. I wanted him to become an official exorcist demon, but you insisted on having him as a Netherworld guide instead, even though he hasn't done it properly in centuries!" He brought a fist down onto the desk, the whole room seeming to tremble at the action.

"With all due respect, sir, we cannot give any more power and ego than the fool believes he has." Juno hissed as she pinched the bridge of her nose briefly. "If we do, both the Netherworld and Hell would be in shambles. And I believe you just want him to annoy one of your own headaches."

At that, both demons glared at each other and crossed their arms as they leaned forward. They stared at each other down for a while until Lucifer pulled back up with a sigh.

"... You're smarter than I thought." Ignoring the woman's tiny smirk of victory, Lucifer turned his back to her as he stared at the hazy city before him.

"You're not wrong. You got Lawrence and the Recently Deceased, I got the souls of the damned and the other cardinal leaders bothering me. Beelzebub especially. Always gloating that he's more powerful and mainstream than the rest. I figured that if he's with someone just as annoying as him, he'll settle down and we both get them out of our businesses for at least a decade or two. Maybe a century if we're lucky."

Juno scoffed. "That's going to be a problem since I banished mine to the world of the living."

"And how's that going for you?" Lucifer glanced back at the director, almost knowingly. "Knowing him, he'll find a way back to the dead. He always does."

“I can assure you that Lawrence is stuck at the surface with the living and suffering for it.”

Meanwhile in one of the several downtown areas of Hell, something was going down on one of the top floors of a ten-floor apartment.

In front of the building was a black Mercedes Benz with a fly painted on the hood, idle as the driver waited for someone. Inside the car, black sharp nails drummed against the wheel at a scattered and quick pace while the owner of said nails exhaled a buzzing breath.

“Why is he taking so long? There won't be much time left!” The driver growled in a high baritone voice that sounded as if it were melting like butter. His unruly, spiky orange hair seemed to hover over his pointed ears as his bright orange eyes narrowed at nothing specific on the street. He was tall, had dark tan skin, and a bit chubby around the edges with a pot belly held back by a sleeveless maroon shirt and ripped black jeans. The large fly wings on his back hummed against the seat, almost impatient. It was supposed to be a quick stop of supplies and nothing else. What was going on in there?

Just then, there were some muffled shouts until someone burst out through the front door lugging an overfilled burlap sack over their shoulder. The demon was a bit more than five and a half feet tall with golden eyes, pale skin, and wild green hair along with some yellow strands popping out. They wore a dusty dark grey coat over their black and white striped suit and green tie.

They then exclaimed in a masculine, gravelly voice as they scrambled into the front passenger seat, "Step on it, Bee!"

"It's about time!" The orange-haired demon groaned in relief as he slammed the accelerator and the car sped off, causing the other to almost fly out to the backseat, but he held on.

“What took you so long, Beetlejuice?! I’ve been waiting here for decades! Did ya get everything?” Bee inquired with a smile.

Beetlejuice chuckled and nudged an elbow to Bee, “It hasn’t been that long and you know it, Beelzebub. I should know; I’ve been waiting for centuries. And it isn’t my fault this time! A couple o' demons were late, some of the items were wrong, and I kinda-sorta pissed some of the demons off with a femur. Don't ask."

“Damn… my bad. We wouldn’t have taken this detour if dear old Satan and the rest of my ‘family’ didn’t seal some of my powers away! You take over a few séances and possess a large group of people for three weeks and suddenly, you’re the bad guy!” Bee snarled and shook his head before making a sharp left turn at an alley once he saw some shadows at his rear-view mirror.

“I know, right?” Beetlejuice scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Sounds just like my mom. ‘Beebleboose, stop bothering the recently deceased and get a job!’”

Beelzebub laughed as he elbowed the dead-born demon, the yellow colors fading back to green. “See? We get each other, BJ! The only other demon who gets me would be my twin, but he’s more about locking his stash away and never using it. Not us. We gluttons know how to have a good time! Why don’t you move down here for the rest of eternity? We could be neighbors, roommates even!”

"As much as eternal suffering sounds awesome, it kinda loses its touch after a while, ya know?" Beetlejuice leaned back in his seat. "Doesn't it get boring torturing and killing souls over and over and they always come back? It's gettin' to a point where everyone expects it. I just wanna get out and have my kind of fun for a change! I wanna be with the living! I don’t want anyone or anything tying me down ever again."

"I hear ya, Ant-Wine. There's just something about the living that's so damn addicting. And I ain't just talking about tastes either! Why do you think I keep risking my existence for the biggest gluttons out there? And what's your job on the surface again? It sounds hilarious!"

"A bio-exorcist. Y'know how the living try to take out demons? I, a demon, take out the living for the dead." Beetlejuice jerked a thumb to his own chest with pride, then shrugged after thinking about it. “Granted, I can’t affect the living and I’m getting ghosts to make the living say my name, but it’s a good gig.”

“Well, ya don’t need to worry about that anymore once we get to the spot!” Bee assured him as he checked to see if anything else were following them, then sighing when they were in the clear. “I got some of my followers on the surface getting themselves into position. When we get there, I possess the leader, say your name three times, and we both get summoned into the land of the living. We scare and eat as much as we want, grow as we please, and we split the world and possibly the universe fifty-fifty!”

“Eighty-twenty.” Beetlejuice challenged.

“Seventy-thirty.”

“Sixty-forty, plus I get a Broadway musical and say-so on the merch!” The green-haired demon pointed finger guns at the other while winking.  

“Deal!” Both demons shook on it.

“Ay dios mio, is that what you were planning all this time?!” A tiny, muffled voice squeaked all of a sudden that almost made the two demons jump. Hearing the source near him, Beetlejuice blinked and glanced down at one of his shirt pockets. He reached to open it when a small head poked out of the pocket. A blueish-green head with long red hair that Beetlejuice recognized from anywhere.

"Teresa?! What are you doing here?" He exclaimed as he almost fell backwards in his seat. The woman in question stood up from her spot in the pocket and lifted her arm to point up at him.

"I could ask you the same thing, mi canalla! Here I am, riding and sliding in your pocket instead of taking my well-earned, once-in-a-death time break! Do you know how much paperwork I needed to file to get it approved?!" Teresa scolded while almost ripping strands of her own hair out, then sighed as she pinched her forehead and muttered in Spanish briefly. "I saw you leaving the Netherworld and I got worried, so I followed you and hid in here while you shifted."

At that, the dead-born demon scowled and crossed his arms. "There's nothin' ta worry about. I'm fine on my own!"

Beelzebub glanced from the wheel to see the tiny spirit and gave a slight smirk, reaching to poke her with his pointer finger. "Huh... So your guardian ghost is Miss Argentina?" At that, Teresa snapped her fingers and pushed the large appendage away.

"That's Miss Teresa Maria Argentina to you, buster! No touching!"  She craned her head up to the giant that carried her. “Who does this guy think he is, anyway?”

“This guy is the demon prince of Gluttony.”

Teresa scoffed, then did a double take and stared at Bee again. "Huh. Not what I expected for the king of all pigs."

"La adulación la llevará a todas partes, Señorita. And there's more to gluttony than just eating." The demon crooned, focusing back onto the street. “We’re in the age of excess, honey, and you’re a part of it whether you like it or not.”

“Oh no, I’m not going to be in your little scheme of yours! Which, by the way, will backfire!” Miss Argentina pointed out before crossing her arms in disapproval.

“You can come to the land of the living with us?” Beetlejuice offered with a grin. Before Teresa could reply, both she and the dead-born jolted forward when Beelzebub suddenly on the brakes. The three looked out the window to see an entire row of demons barricading the street. Some demons had motorcycles and their own cars while others stood with their hulking bodies alone. All of them came in different shapes and sizes. A particular demon who looked more like a chubby dragon in form stepped forward from the crow of angry demons.

“Beetlejuice, we got ya surrounded! Come outta the glutton's car. We just need ta talk!” The dragon demon bellowed with a brash voice.

Beetlejuice let out a laugh, his hair turning a bit yellow at the tips as he opened his window and waved. "Heeeeeey, Rosco! How's the femur?" A growl and glare was his only reply.

"Go on ahead! I'll see if I could blow these guys off and contact Mintaka to back us up! I'll catch up with you two when I can." Beelzebub ordered. Without waiting for an answer, he revved up his engine and made a sharp 180 turn. Magma spewed from between the wheels and created a large wave of molten rock, causing the line of demons to scramble away from it.

“Now!” Beelzebub shouted as Beetlejuice's door opened by itself. The ghost didn't need to be told twice. He flew out of the car and landed on his feet before he ran into a nearby alleyway. A few demons and imps who had avoided the magma followed him.

Teresa clung to the edge of the shirt pocket for dear afterlife as her giant mode of transportation moved quickly. Yes, she was dead, but that didn't mean she was immune to pain. It was also a force of habit.

Beetlejuice cursed at himself. It would've been much easier if he were at the surface and he could just teleport himself away. He didn't have that luxury in Hell. Seeing a wired fence up ahead, he had a plan. He pulled at his hair three times as if grabbing something, then he seemed to throw something invisible to his pursuers. All of a sudden, three clones of himself appeared in front of the demons, blocking them from their path as he leapt onto the fence and clambered up to the other side.

"Damn that rat!" One imp exclaimed in frustration. Beetlejuice smirked and continued moving. After a while, he came across an open clearing and an entrance to a burning park covered in glowing stalagmites. They were close to the summoning spot. The ghost with the most cheered, jumping into the air and pumping his fist. Nothing could ruin his moment! He took a few steps forward...

... only to get tackled by a large dust cloud consisting of Rosco and Beelzebub clawing and gnawing at each other. Beetlejuice snarled as his nails and fangs sharpened, trying to push both demons off of him while biting and scratching anyone who came too close. Teresa ducked down to the safety of the shirt pocket, questioning her afterlife choices. The ball of fighting seemed to stop when both Beetlejuice and Beelzebub grabbed Rosco by the shoulders and slammed him to the side of a building.

"Ha!" The two demons exclaimed in victory. The impact was so great, it caused the building to break in half and topple over, hitting the building next door. And the one after that. And the one after that. Soon, there was a giant building version of dominoes falling one by one until it stopped at a particular office building where two demons were having a meeting.

"BETELGEUSE/BEELZEBUB!" Two voices roared suddenly, echoing all over Hell and possibly the Netherworld as well. Both demons in question stood up straight, let go of the dragon demon, and winced in unison.

"Oh crap."

Before either of them knew it, the two demons and the spirit found themselves in Lucifer's domain, tensed and unaware of what would transpire. As Bee got dragged away in chains, Beetlejuice stood in the middle of the hallway and averted his eyes from Juno's sight, his hair and outfit turning a gloomy violet as his wrists shifted from the handcuffs behind him. Teresa stood on the director's shoulder, not saying a word.

"Why doesn't this surprise me one bit?" Juno stated calmly, only to shriek when Beetlejuice opened his mouth to speak. "You damn fool! You couldn't give me just one year of peace without screwing it up!"

"But mom-!"

"BUT NOTHING! I'll deal with you later." Juno raised the palm of her hand, causing Beeltejuice to stumble backwards and freeze. Without delay, she then took out a piece of chalk from her hair and drew a tiny door on the nearby wall. She knocked on the door three times with her pinky and the door opened up to reveal green mist. She then aligned herself so the ghost on her shoulder was in front of the entrance.

"I take it you enjoyed your relaxing break?” Juno asked in a saccharine tone. Not waiting for an answer, she exclaimed. “Now get back to work! We just got a bus load of casino gamblers who are probably going to fight with the football players and do who knows what. And no word of what you saw here to the others, understand?”

"Yes, ma'am." Teresa nodded as she held herself while trying to look as professional as possible. She strutted to the door, but stopped just as she was about to enter. She turned her head to look back at Beetlejuice who tried not to make eye contact with her. With a sympathetic frown, she gave a slight wave and made her exit, the door shutting behind her. Beetlejuice looked to the door and sighed, only to yelp when his handcuffs tugged him forward.

“Come on, Lawrence. Satan’s waiting for you.” Juno ordered, walking ahead past her son. She beckoned her finger and the handcuffs tugged again, forcing Beetlejuice to follow her. They went down the hallway and entered the last room which was filled to the brim with demons and imps like a courtroom. Most of them were either involved with recent events or were nearby. There were conversations between their groups until the Shoggoths entered the room, causing the room to become silent.

Juno took Beetlejuice to the front of the stand where the Cardinal Council sat in tall podiums waiting for him. The Cardinal Council consisted of powerful demons who embodied the seven main cardinal sins known to humans. Belphegor of Sloth was dozing off in his seat. Leviathan of Envy was writing a few notes to themselves. Asmodeus of Lust brushed his pink long locks with a comb and some help with a breeze he summoned. Mammon of Greed fidgeted with his coins like always. Beelzebub of Gluttony managed a subtle wave to the dead-born. Last but not least, Lucifer stood at the tallest podium. Despite popular belief, he had the honor of having both Pride and Wrath in his repertoire. Nothing changed about him except that he had more fur and goat features at the moment. Beetlejuice took his place in front of the council, but felt the force from his mother staying with him. Once everyone was accounted for, Lucifer cleared his throat and drummed his claws on the podium.

“Out of all the dead-borns we have in Hell and all over, you have got to be the most stubborn pain in the ass I ever met.” He started, glaring down at the dead-born.

"Lucy, hey! How ya doin'? Your horns look extra-curly today." Beetlejuice casually greeted with a wink.

"Flattery will get you nowhere with me, Lawrence." The goat demon deadpanned. Beetlejuice felt his handcuffs tugging him back and he glanced to see his mother's disapproving frown. Swallowing the negativity for now, he returned his attention to the one in charge.

"C'mon, Lucifer. Let's talk demon to demon, huh? Sure, I snuck down here to hang out with one of the most powerful demons in Hell and destroyed a few things, but what demon hasn't?" The ghost with the most laughed and shrugged. "Besides, it's not like the first few times I messed up here."

“Oh, where do I begin with that?” Lucifer asked in a sardonic tone before he pulled out a large scroll from behind his back and unraveled it. The paper dropped on the ground and continued to roll onto the ground, stretching out of the room and seeming to continue rolling. Yellow strands of hair started to appear on Beetlejuice’s head.

“Surely, you must be exaggerating!” An imp who stood below the podium exclaimed in disbelief, leaning over to read the long scroll.

“This is Beetlejuice we’re talking about. Am I? Let’s read a few random ones, shall we?” The ruler of Hell took out a pair of eyeglasses and placed them on before skimming to a random spot on the list. “There was the time that he and another dead-born managed to freeze all of Hell for a while because, and I quote, ‘We need to have a snow day’.”

"We really needed one!" Beetlejuice shot back in defense. "I've seen breathers enjoy those all the time and Mint owed me one!"

Lucifer chose not to answer as he continued, "You let all the hellhounds loose and insisted that Cerberus should go on a 'play-date'."

"Hey, what Spot and I have is something special! They and Sandy would get along great eating souls and all."

"They are MY pet!"

"Eh... you say 'pet', I say 'furry and fun three-headed acquaintance'."

"And let's not forget the 'food' incident when you somehow managed to make the Netherworld smell like coconut, Hell smell like guacamole, and nearly consumed a hundred souls assigned to a specific place in Hell!" Nearly every demonic being in the room shuddered at the memory.

At the last offense, Beetlejuice shuddered as he nodded in agreement. "Okay, now that was a mistake I will never do again. The last time I would ever make anything in the Lust district. We'll leave it at that! No offense, Azzy."

"None taken." Asmodeus muttered from his seat, not knowing whether to bleach the memory from his brain or keep it.

"The point is you've been causing trouble both here and the Netherworld for centuries despite your curse and I'm at my limit for the last time!" Lucifer sneered, rolling the scroll of crimes back up and making it disappear.

The demons, imps, and four members of the Cardinal Council talked amongst themselves. No doubt they were talking about Beetlejuice and how annoying he was. Beelzebub raised his hand.

"Hey, Satan. It was my idea in the first place. B-Juice was just going along with it. Can't we just lock him outta Hell for a while and curse me instead?" The demon of Gluttony offered. The demon of Pride and Wrath glared at him.

"Oh look at you, trying to act all noble!" Lucifer's voice went up a pitch as he clasped his hands in mockery before he dropped the act and adjusted his glasses with a frown, earning a glare from Bee. "Don't play cute with me. He'll just somehow come here and you two will cause mayhem again!"

"You took the words right out of my mouth." Juno commented drily. The mutters and clamor resumed until Lucifer smacked the side of the podium with his tail hard, causing the room to be silent.  

"What we need is a more... proper punishment. A curse that'll make sure you get the message through that thick skull of yours." With a wave of his wrist, a hefty folder of papers stamped with Beetlejuice's name on it appeared on the podium. Lucifer then started skimming through the file. This continued for a minute or two until his eyes widened at a particular page. He glanced at the dead-born.

"You're obsessed with humans, right? I believe you call them breathers in the Netherworld. You and Bee have that much in common."

No one said a word. Beelzebub averted his gaze from everyone, sinking into his seat as he wanted to be anywhere but there. Juno blew a smoke ring, keeping her thoughts to herself. Beetlejuice continued to glare at the ruler of Hell from his position. Lucifer placed down the stack of papers and took off his eyeglasses to stare at the other. He was silent for a moment until he gave a slight smirk.

"Since you like breathers so much, I should give you what you want. It is what you deserve, after all." He rubbed his claws against his chest before he pointed one at the dead-born. "Lawrence Betelgeuse Shoggoth, you are still banished to the world of the living and cannot say your true name, but I'm adding a few details so you'll stay put. The first one? I'm sealing you to the one item that'll be your downfall."

Lucifer snapped his fingers and a flame burst up from the ground, forming a specific shape. When Beetlejuice noticed what the shape was, he paled.

"No... Not that. Anything but that!" He exclaimed.

"Oh, yes that. Congratulations, you're going to be... LITERATURE!" The flames died down and a large book with a black cover floated in the air. Upon seeing it, Beetlejuice dropped to his knees and screamed dramatically.

"But I can't spell! You maniac!"

"And that's not all! You will be sealed inside this book for all eternity unless you can bond with a living person. It could be any type of bond as long as it's genuine and strong. I'll add some more rules for you to read at your leisure. Until then, only a breather who can read your book could set you free and we all know the chances of that happening!" Lucifer laughed, causing everyone to join him. He then turned to Juno, raising an eyebrow. "This curse alright with you, Juno?"

"Beetlejuice becoming the very thing he destroys? Now that's something I would like to see." The director of Netherworld Customs almost grinned at that. Her son stared at the ground, the purple on his body and hair getting deeper. Seeing that Juno had no complaints, Lucifer then addressed everyone else.

"All those in favor of turning Betelgeuse into a book and throwing him out, say 'Eye'."

"Eye!" Everyone in the room except Beetlejuice and Beelzebub raised their hands, some of the demons even held up their own eyeballs. Lucifer took a quick scan and grinned.

"It's settled. Majority rules. Time to go. Bye, Bug-Beverage!" With a sadistic glint in his eye, the demon ruler snapped his fingers. The large book floated in the air and opened itself, its pages flipping and glowing until it stopped at the center of the book. Once it stopped, a swirling vortex appeared on both pages, acting as a powerful wind current as chains shot out from the book and connected with the ghost's handcuffs to pull him in. Beetlejuice panicked.

"No, wait! I'll behave, I promise! Not this, anything but this! Satan, the things I do ta get a different beginning from the original source material!" Beetlejuice cursed as he gripped at the ground to hold himself from the wind current and chains pulling at him.. It only increased the suction, causing some demons and imps to brace themselves.

His claws dug deep onto the floor as he was dragged by his chains towards the book. Gritting his fangs, Beetlejuice reached out to Beelzebub and cried out, "Tell my story!" Before the gluttony demon could respond, the ghost with the most was sucked into the book and it slammed itself shut.

Everyone in the room applauded and let out a sigh of relief. With a deadpan expression on his face, Beelzebub got up from his seat.

"Well... that was fun." Bee yawned and rolled his eyes, pointing to the other side of the room. "I'm out!"

"Ah-ah-ah. Not so fast!" Satan crooned and grabbed the orange-haired demon by the shirt collar to stop his escape. "I haven't forgotten about you nor my original plan. Just need to put the finishing touches..."

Without any explanation, Lucifer pulled Beelzebub's arm towards his face and bit at the other's thumb, causing the latter to scream. He then slammed Beelzebub's left hand onto the book. Black blood seeped from the thumb and spread onto the entire book, glowing orange upon contact. When he felt that there was enough, Lucifer took off Bee's hand and waved over the book, causing the glow to fade. With that, the seals were complete.

Having watched everything, Juno stared at the book her son was in, her face expressionless. She then took a drag of her cigarette and glanced away, almost relieved. "Let the living deal with him now."

"Where should we drop 'im, boss?" An imp asked as it hopped next to Lucifer, ready to complete the deed once and for all.

"The one place rarely anyone would find it so easy." The ruler of Hell replied after a bit of thought. "A place no one would ever expect such a powerful book to be!"

Late at night on the surface where the living dwelled, a red portal opened up above the sleepy town of Winter River, Connecticut. The black book fell out from the portal, its blank pages fluttering with the air as the portal immediately closed back up. The book continued to fall until it reached above an old tall house on a hill, going through the roof and landing right inside the attic of the house where it waited for someone, anyone worthy, to open and read it.

#snjstories #snjwrites #fanfiction #Beetlejuice #Beetlejuice the Musical #AU #Giant #Tiny #G/T #Juno #Beelzebub #Lucifer #OC #Beetlejuice Big Bang #Miss Argentina #cw: abuse #cw: smoking #On The Edge of Living

[rex101111]

Ch'io mi scordi di te?

Remember all those ideas/hopes about Aria/ being playable in the next Guilty Gear game I posted? Well, combine that with a short scene by @mystech-master and you get this little thing I whipped up in about two days. It’s super angsty and I hope you like it!

A monster stands in the dark of her mind, it is a giant of metal and fire and blood, and she feels red hot fear dig a trench through her gut at the sight of it. Her mind expands, feels far away, and in walks a person. Or half of one, half of her.

The half-person turns to her with a broken smile, waves to her, before walking to the monster, placing a hand on the monster's chest. Slowly, the monster shrinks from a giant to about the size of the half-person, and then it is not a monster.

Her two halves now stand there, in the dark, facing each other without a word. The half that was-is-will be-a monster raises its own hand to mirror the first half. As soon as the fingers touch the other's chest, a sharp, bright light splits her mind into a thousand shards, a million memories.

Running from the orphanage with nothing but her lightly stuffed and battered back pack.

Sitting at a desk working over her thesis.

Meeting Fredrick Bulsara at a café on campus, whistling the Queen song he was humming under his breath as he waited for his order.

Asuka R. Kreutz cursing her out in German as she laughs at some joke she made.

The day the Gear Project was announced, standing shoulder to shoulder with two people she would give her life for.

Coughing blood into her palm while she worked on Backyard research.

Schematics for a suit, a suit to explore the Backyard, an idea, a stupid idea, her idea. Their idea.

Walking away from Fredrick, refusing to listen to his pleas to stop, please, you don't know what you're doing! She does know, of course she does, how could she not?

Arguing with Asuka over data, what it means, what they could do with it, she calls him an idiot.

Fredrick crying at her bedside while she was eaten from the inside out.

Asuka on the other side of a glass tube, tears going down his determined face.

Death. Fire. Fear. Destroy. Destroy. DESTROY. DESTROY!

ALL OF THEM. EVERY SINGLE ONE. DESTROY!

FIRE. A SCOWL. Fredrick. Doesn't know, doesn't recognize her. She can only be glad that he doesn't. Death is soft and quiet and she holds it with both hands.

A sword, a death, fire, another death. And another, and another, and another. Over and over, from a thousand different eyes. Forever.

I-no chasing after her (but not her), Raven healing her leg, Fredrick (bigger and older and sadder and hurt and scared and different but still) watching her as she explains all she can, Asuka (thinner and sorry and wiser and quiet but still) sending her off with a promise and a hope.

A giant, a monster, a will, light.

Nothing.

Aria Hale wakes to the smell of disinfectant and the sound of flickering florescent lights from outside the room. Her head is pounding, her world is spinning, and she is, miracle of miracles, alive.

She swallows what little spit she has in her dry throat, coughs, and then rasps the first sound she makes with her own voice in little over a century, "what the fuck?"

The nurse, who she did not see in the room, is very startled, drops her clipboard, and runs out the door screaming for a doctor.

Aria blinks at the swinging door, then looks back up at the off white ceiling, "what the fuck", she repeats, just as confused, but this time with a weary smile.

-_-_-_-_-

By the time the doctor showed up, the world stopped spinning long enough to gather herself more solidly. She is Aria Hale, over a century ago she died, and now she's alive again.

Between that death and right now a million memories bounce around in her head and give her a migraine, but somehow she manages to make sense of them all, or at least most. The doctor fills her in once he checks her eyes and gives her a plastic cup filled with water.

She's been in the hospital for about six days now, she's in Illyria, and her medical bill is being paid by king Kisuke. She will stay in the hospital for a few more days, just to be safe, and then she's free to go where she pleases.

She smiles tiredly at the doctor, some young man barely out of his scrubs whose name she doesn't catch, and thanks him. She doesn't tell him she doesn't really have anywhere to go as he leaves the room. Doesn't tell him the name Kisuke barely means anything to her, or at least doesn't mean what it means to him.

To her it means lightning and an army, some figure cutting down her soldiers as he streaks across battlefields.

And your son-in-law. A melodic voice, like that of a child, adds from somewhere deep in her heart and she smiles incredulously. She rubs her eyes as she remembers Dizzy, and Ky, and all the things Jack-O knew and now she needs to know if she intends to make full use of this life she's been given.

Life. Alive. She's alive. The concept is numb in her mind, unreal. Her heart thumps lazily in her ribcage, her lungs expand and contract as she takes a breath and sighs. She feels the uncomfortable itch of the hospital gown covering her form, her long hair (she’ll need to cut it, she never liked her hair that long) splayed over the pillow and tickling the back of her neck.

It doesn't make sense, strictly speaking, that she is here, on this bed, alive and fine and waiting for shitty hospital food. It was almost yesterday, to her, that she was wasting away on another hospital bed, miles from where she is right now, hooked up to tubes and wires and patiently waiting for the dull, burning pain to go away so she could sleep.

She remembers accepting death, readying herself for it, bracing herself by holding on to Fredrick's hand as the world grew cold.

But, now, here she is, alive and fine and with a sore throat and a splitting headache.

It's almost overwhelming, but only barely not, just within her reach to understand it, which only makes it more unreal. That it was that easy in the end. One moment she was dead, the next she was alive, and in between those moments a century somehow wedged itself in and she needs to play catch up, simple, straightforward, and too damn much.

It's whiplash and jetlag both at once, her head is pounding and her eyes aren't used to the light and she just wants someone in this hospital to do their job and give her an aspirin or something. Or maybe just pump her full of morphine so she could stop having this existential crisis at 4 in the afternoon.

Before she could spiral down further a knock on the door jars her to attention, "Ms. Hale? Is it alright to come in?" The voice of her doctor floats from the other side of the door, the tone is kind but it is sudden and rubs against her tired and recently resurrected ears like sandpaper and she has to bite her lip to control her reaction to it, "you have visitors."

She breaths in through her nose and out through her mouth and manages to work her face into a facsimile of a welcoming smile as she turns to the voice, "yes, please come in." Her heart belatedly picks up its rhythm at the thought of who might be on the other side as the door opens, she clenches her fists to stop it, it's been a century, if he cared enough to see her she would have seen him by now.

She was right to curb her enthusiasm, as the person who follows the doctor into her room isn't who she hoped. "Ms. Hale." Ky Kisuke bows his head politely at her as the doctor steps aside from him before leaving him with Aria, a pleasant tilt to his lips as he looked at her, "it's good to see you awake."

Aria can't help the tired laugh that jumps out, she almost makes a comment about wakefulness being overrated, but bites her tongue to stop it and instead shakes her head fondly at the young man. "Thank you for the concern, Sir Kisuke, but I'm surprised at how quickly you showed up, I just woke up about an hour ago!"

"We told the hospital to call us as soon as you did." A second voice calls out gently from behind the king, and a lump lodged itself firmly in Aria's throat as Dizzy brushes past her husband to sit by her bedside, face welcoming and warm as she took her hand. "I wanted to meet you as soon as I could…mother."

There. Right there. That word right there brought the full and utter absurdity of her situation into perspective for Aria; mother. She's a mother, this woman in front of her is her child, hers and Fredrick's, a child with her eyes and the curve of her nose and Fredrick's chin and ears, a child with wings and a tail. It is ridiculous and absurd and her heart is struggling to take it all in.

But Dizzy is not a child at all, there was a childhood she missed, a life Aria abandoned and did not care for and yet her she was, a woman fully grown, with a husband and child of her own and a household she needs to worry about. All of that over her head and yet here Dizzy was, taking time out of her day to hold the hand of a woman who is a century too late to be her mother and that she barely knows and that she should by all accounts either hate or resent but instead she holds her hand tenderly yet firmly with a smile.

A century ago she died with nothing to her name but an ill-fated science project that would kill millions as a legacy, today she lays on a hospital bed while her daughter and son-in-law smile at her, glad to be talking to her and glad she is alive and here.

She didn't earn this, none of this. People, people who she loved and loved her but still other people, decided that she deserved all of this. Later, when she acclimates and finds her footing this idea will leave a bad taste in her mouth. Right now? Her daughter is holding her hand and smiling and telling her she wants to know her, and her heart damn near bursts.

She wants to say that, to tell Dizzy how happy she is at this moment that everything starts to click together for her, to promise her she will try to make up for lost time even though she has never known herself to be nearly so maternal, because she is alive despite the odds and that thought makes her so ecstatic that she doesn't know what to do with herself.

Instead, she takes Dizzy's hand in both of her own and controls her voice just enough to smile wetly at her daughter, "well," she started once she could gather some composure, "let's talk!" Her face stretched into a smile so wide it hurt but she did not care, "what do you want to know about me?"

The smile Dizzy sends her way is blinding. "Everything."

-_-_-_-_-

They talk for hours, in-between catching up on her life and Aria's, Dizzy fills her in on the basics of, well, everything she should know about Illyria. Sorry, The United Kingdoms of Illyria. The languages, the holidays, what café is worth a damn near her home.

This is also around the time she finds out she'll be staying with Dizzy and her husband until she can settle herself elsewhere, however long that would take her. The concept surprises her and fills her with an odd sort of anxiety. She is used to living on her own, in her cozy little apartment near the Gear Project complex.

A tiny little three room affair with a half assed kitchen, creaky bed, and barely working shower, but still hers. Hers and long, long gone, probably buried under tons of rubble and a century's worth of dust and God knows what else.

She still recognizes the necessity of the gesture, she has no money, no home, and no fucking clue how to get a job or if any of her three degrees are still any good after all these years. She swallows the indignation at being dependent on someone else and thanks Dizzy as warmly as she can manage.

The mundane details of her daughters' life serve as an anchor, give her a base to stand on where she could find something familiar in a world so changed by time and war and death it might as well be an alien plant. Some things don't change, no matter how much time passes, and that idea is the biggest comfort she has managed so far.

Something distracts her though. Ky, while he participated in the conversation, adding his own little asides whenever Dizzy said something that he felt needing expanding or simply whenever he wanted to make her blush or smile, he seemed occupied by something. Every so often, and more frequently as time wore on, he would steal a glance at the door, his eyes narrowing for a moment before he looked back at them.

Aria wanted to ask him what he was looking at, but decided he would tell her in his own time and she would just enjoy her daughters' company until he does. She didn't have to wait long though, in the middle of Aria telling Dizzy about her undergraduate work for her B. S. (which was indeed, as she told her daughter, BS), Ky heaved a sigh of frustration and shoved the door to her room open with no small amount of force and stomped out.

Before Aria could ask if it was something she said, Ky came back, face annoyed, and holding a large, muscular man by the scruff of his shirt as he dragged him into the room. It takes her a moment to parse who it is, and when she does the grip on Dizzy's hand goes limp.

Fredrick Bulsara, taller then she remembers and more solidly built then she thought he could ever possibly be, looks at her with conflicted eyes and his mouth in a severe line. Her mind went blank, and then it was stuffed to bursting with things she wanted to say, either way she found her mouth refused to work. All she could manage is a wide eyed look as she clenched her thin blanket between her fingers.

Her daughter seemed more on the ball though, thankfully, and quickly rose from her chair, "we'll finish our talk tomorrow, okay mom?" Dizzy calling her mom was just enough of a shock to get her to nod a bit dumbly before Dizzy walked to her husband, leveling a rather interesting look at her father on the way, "you two have a lot of catching up to do as well, right?"

Fredrick, who probably weighs twice as much as Dizzy and is pure rippling muscle (that Aria was not staring at what are you talking about), nods quickly in assentation, bordering on the frantic.

The King of Illyria and his wife exited the room, and left Aria Hale and Fredrick Bulsara to stare awkwardly at each other like teenagers on a first date. Aria remembers that their actual first date wasn't nearly this awkward, the memory is fuzzy but she distinctly remembers it including a movie and burgers for dinner, she thinks the movie was-

"Star Wars."

"Huh?"

"Star Wars, we saw episode 4 on our first date, you thought Harrison Ford looked like a shaved jackal."

So, she said that out loud, but, not being one to let a slip trip her up, she straightened her back and glared at him, "yeah? Well you thought Carrie Fisher had sweet rolls taped to her head."

"We all make mistakes."

They stare at each other after that, that flippant comment striking a spot they both weren't guarding. After a moment, the tension leaves both of their shoulders, and Aria feels a sad smile curve her lips, "good afternoon, Fredrick."

After a moment he shuffles his feet to sit at the chair Dizzy occupied before, every muscle in his body relaxing into an exhausted heap as he slumps on the back rest. He levels a tired smile at her to meet her own, the edges of his mouth don't reach his eyes but neither do hers, and mutters, "afternoon."

As if a century hadn't passed since the last time they were like this, as if they both hadn't died in one way or another, they sat there in front of each other for a moment and exchanged greetings. Like they were having lunch to discuss work, or the weather.

She has a maelstrom of questions for him, how did he survive this long without crumbling under the pressure, did he ever think anything like this could ever happen? Did he think Asuka's robe and hood outfit looked as ridiculous as she did?

Instead of all of those question, she found herself sputtering out a laugh, laughing a bit louder as she caught the confused look in his eyes, "Sol Badguy?" She managed to get out between a chuckle or two, "seriously? You couldn't think of a better alias then Sol Fucking Badguy?"

Fredrick blinked owlishly at her for a long moment before crossing his arms and huffing, "sounded cool at the time…"

"A reference to a Queen song nobody gave a shit about for close to two hundred years sounded cool to you?"

He barked out a laugh, "well you got the reference didn't you?" She burst out laughing again, unable to answer, "well, you and Asuka…"

And she was gone, laughing so loudly she was practically screaming. That was so stupid, so absurd, so ridicules! So Fredrick. That was so Fredrick Bulsara it nearly hurt to think about, this is the guy who spent four straight nights cramming for his theoretical physics finals in senior year, after blowing it off for months, by holing himself in his dorm with literally every single book the professor even referenced during the year.

He got a B-, he was so angry he nearly choked her out when she said it could have been worse.

"You are the most preposterous man I have ever met; you know that?" She managed finally, wiping a tear from her eyes as she leaned back on her pillow, "I swear the only thing that changed is your biceps," she smirks, "is that what you were doing while I was taking my week long nap, pumping iron like some dumb jock?"

If he noticed the bite she paired with the question, he didn't show it, simply shrugging, "gotta keep fit these days, can't exactly go into a lap anymore." She clicked her tongue and shook her head, and he went on. "Besides, you can thank Asuka for most of these things, Gear DNA has some perks."

She pointed a leer at him from under her bangs, "I'll say, never knew Asuka was into that kinda thing, learn something new…"

"Funny…" He muttered quietly, but he placed his hands behind his head, and made a show of flexing his arms, dragging another chuckle out of her, "forgot your sense of humor was this brutal, Aria," he grumbled, though with a hint of affection, "…I missed it."

Her heart leaps into her throat. She doesn't know why that, that simple little phrase is what finally pushes her to her limit. The idea that he missed her, even after all this time, after all the death he's seen and all the lives he's saved, the idea that he missed something as small as her sense of humor, it was overwhelming in a way she couldn’t describe.

Like a Century and a half didn't pass, like they haven't been torn apart until barely anything of who they were remained, like she was never sick and there were never any Gears and they were just shooting the shit on campus between lectures, like it was only yesterday and the world was still okay.

But it wasn't. None of this was okay, not a single scrap of it.

Everything she had ever known, every person she had ever so much as crossed on the street, gone, all of it gone. It was a miracle she could still speak the same language as the people around her, nobody knew who she was or what she had accomplished.

She was one of the head engineers of the Gear Project, she worked her ass off for close to 15 years in college with a shitty job and no family to make something of herself and gain that position. She stood shoulder to shoulder with two of the greatest minds of her generation and made their absurd ideas work.

And no one even remembered her name. In the grand history of the world she was just another nameless drone that worked with That Man to destroy the world, less than a foot note, less than a reference.

Less than nothing.

But, she had a family now. She came into this world with nothing but a name and now she had a home waiting for her, somewhere. A home with a daughter who wanted to know her, a grandson who was excited to meet her, a son-in-law that looked at her child with love and care.

And she still had Fredrick and Asuka. But only barely, but still they hung on, somehow, and they were all alive, somehow, and every pragmatic inch of her wanted that to be enough, and it just might be, eventually.

But right now, she feels so very, crushingly alone.

She got a life she did not earn, that she did not deserve, that she can barely use, that she almost doesn't want.

But she wants to be happy, almost out of spite. She wants to want this life that she got back, she wants that so desperately she can hardly breath.

"Aria?"

She looks up at Fredrick, worry etched on his face, his hands hovering near her like he doesn't know what to do with them, like he ever knew at all without her telling him, he was always a little awkward around her, just considerate enough to hesitate so he could get instruction, part of the reason she fell in love, all those years ago.

"Fredrick…"

Except that was over a century ago, for him, when to her he's still that hard headed jack ass who banged his head on a project until it played by his rules. But what is she to him? A memory he half remembers? A shadow he could never let go of? Is she still Aria? Or is she Jack-O? Valentine?

Justice?

He puts a hand on her cheek, brushing away tears she only now notices, "c'mon…" he mutters helplessly, "you know I'm fucking useless when you start crying."

She launches herself at him with little warning, wrapping her arms around his neck with a wrenching sob, relief and happiness and anger and helplessness and endless other emotions she can barely recognize churning in her gut and bursting out of her throat without restraint.

He crushes her to his chest as she wails, and she hangs on for dear life, her heart is bursting open and her head is screaming with the million memories of the monster and the half person and she prays she can find herself somewhere in between.

"Thank you…"

She almost doesn't hear the mutter from behind her sobbing, she presses her ear to his throat, partly to hear him and partly to anchor herself to his heartbeat.

"Thank you for coming back…"

If she was foolish, she would believe he was chocked up himself as he held her a little tighter. She hugs him tighter still and hopes he understands.

The sun dipped into the horizon by inches from the window behind her, the light slowly but surely fading away. The world sunk into the dark, where only she and Fredrick remained, clutching tightly at each other with all their might.

In a few hours, Aria Hale would officially be alive again for a whole full week.

The thought pulls a smile out of her that stretches from ear to ear, the rumble of Fredrick's chest as he laughs in incredulous joy when she tells him she wants to celebrate with hamburgers, her face still stuck to his sternum, makes the smile stretch even wider.

#Guilty Gear #Aria Hale #Sol Badguy #stuff rex wrote #Arias and ballads

[youarenotevenhuman]

° Is it lust?

Requested by @wordsmith-by-night

Gavin Reed x Reader

Summary: You ended up at a police party and expected not to run into Gavin Reed?

Key:

You, your name (y/n)

Feminine pronouns

Smut?

Notes: you have an identical twin who was Captain Allen’s spouse.

———

The snow had set in weeks ago at this point but you still chose to stand outside in your little black dress. The party long, hot and immensely bothersome. The lights, headache inducing. The music, boring. Why had Allen invited you? Right, how could you forget, to show off a pretty lady and gander interest from some other woman. You let out a slow sigh of exhaustion mixed with a touch of frustration, it wasn’t the first time and you knew it wouldn’t be the last.

Silence surrounded you as you stood outside the building that the police department had rented. You felt hot but that was probably the liquor finally working it’s magic. Maybe you’d walk home since you knew Allen wouldn’t be taking you home. After all, you were just for show.

Lost in thought, you didn’t hear the door open behind you but you did feel the rough jacket land on your shoulders.

“Who the fu-“ you begin as you turn around to see who had thrown the jacket on you. “Oh, it’s you.” you turn just as quickly to stare angrily at the empty parking lot. Everyone had taken a taxi.

“You disappeared,” it was Gavin, you had caught a glimpse of that damn smug look on his face. “Figured you’d want to freeze your ass off.” He bumped you as he came to stand beside you.

Arms crossed, you glanced down at him. Gavin was far from anything special. He stood a good two inches shorter than you but then again, so did Allen. What the fuck she saw in Allen in the first was beyond you. Gavin wasn’t any better. He was known to every officer in the precinct as the loudest and rudest detective around.

“So what the fuck are you doing out here anyways?” there was his charm, his stupid honesty. “Why do you always tag along with Allen if you ditch him every time?”

“Cause,” you thought a moment. Why the fuck did you always agree to accompany Allen to every social event the precinct held? “Cause I’m just a remind and something to show off?”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Gavin asked as he dug around in his pants pockets. “How does an elementary teacher,” he pulled out a pack of cigarettes, where the fuck did he manage to get those? “get involved with a cop anyways?” With a tap of the box, he managed to pull out one and quickly shoved in his mouth and lit it.

“When your brother-in-law is a cop,” you paused as you watched him lit it up. “You tend to be very involved.”

Gavin tossed you a look of confuse as he took a drag “I thought he wasn’t married?”

“Not officially.” You motion for him to share the cigarette.

“Where is she?” He passed the cigarette. You hadn’t tried smoking since you were a teenage, almost two decades ago. You let a smile escape as you exhale the smoke before coughing.

“Depends on who you ask?” you pass the smoke back. “She’s gone and I’m stuck here watching over the mess, trying to put it back together.”

“So do you guys fuck than?”

“What the fuck? No.”

Never had you ever tired to sleep with Allen. He wasn’t your type even if you were her twin. Identical in almost every way expect in taste. You both grew up with Allen, hell you were surprised when they got together. Since she died, you took care of Allen. You cleaned his place when he worked long hours, you brought him breakfast, lunch or dinner, whenever his hours complicated his life. You worried about him but you were the furtherest thing in love with him.

The silence, snow and smell of cigarettes brought you back from your thoughts. Gavin’s cigarette long since used up. He was dressed casually like how he normally worked. Black shirt and dark blue jeans. Gavin never dressed fancy but he always smelled nice for some reason.

Changing subjects “So who is Chloe based off of?” You ask as Gavin leans in closer. The cold finally bitting into him.

“So you know he’s my brother, right?” Gavin asked as he put an arm around your waist.

“It’s pretty public,” you wiggle out of his grip. “The genius of the century and his trash copper brother.”

“Hey,” there was that smug look again. “At least I can tell the difference in reality.”

It was very public knowledge about Elijah Kamski cutting ties with half his family once he started making millions. Their father committing suicide and the shock of Kamski having a half brother who happened to be a cop. The tensions at the funeral were said to be a time bomb.

“She’s based off of Chloe.” Gavin stated as though you’d understand.

“But who is Chloe?” You press unsure of the implications. “An ex-girlfriend, tragic lover?”

“Our kid sister.” He gives you a fake smile, the kind that hides all the hurt and anger. “Our kid sister,” quickly all the falseness falls away and is replaced but that hidden anger. “our fuckin kid sister who died.”

“I’m sorry,” you didn’t think it’s be so serious. “I didn’t mean to-“

“No one thinks about it” Gavin starts kicking at the piles of snow that got shoveled. “but all androids are base off of someone, somewhere.” The angry is raw, even if he’s a few feet away, you could swear you felt the heat dripping off of him. You could definitely see the steam. “That’s the detail everyone over looks, Do you know what he does with that thing?” You stay silent. “Fuck!”

You let him calm down before attempting to talk to him. “I’m gonna go find Allen.”

“Yeah, you do that.” He lets out a huff as he starts out into the parking lot. Silently you disappear back into the building.

You find Allen more intoxicated than you wanted with a woman in a red dress hanging off his arm. Beside them stands that android, Connor was it’s name? You don’t care, you tap Allen on the shoulder.

“I think it’s time we go.” You say as Allen turns to look at you.

“T/N, you look lovely tonight.” He’s beyond drunk, you knew you shouldn’t have left him.

“It’s Y/N, T/N is dead.” You say as you get him to hold onto you. “We are going home now.”

“Don’t tell me these things.” He slurs as he leans on you. “I don’t want to be reminded.”

Out of the corner of you eye, you see a flash of blue accompanied by the gentlest voice.

“Connor and I can help Allen home” you turn to see who is talking. “I’m Mika, I don’t think we’ve meet before.” You feel Allen’s weight shift as he leans against that android, Connor.

Before you can reply, the androids says “Hello Captain Allen, it’s me. Connor.” it states as Allen glances up at it. “Mika and I will take you home.”

“I’m Y/N and we don’t need the help” you try to get Allen to lean against you again but the android has a strong hold on him.

“Clearly you do,” the android says as it starts to walk Allen to the doorway. “Mika suggested I call a cab and help you two out.”

You glance back at the lady in red. This was the Mika Allen would hammer on about. You always thought he had a thing for taller women but she was at least six or more inches shorter than you. Where the fuck did they ever meet? She was way too pretensions.

Once outside, the four of you found Gavin still outside with another cigarette in his hand.

“Where the fuck is this plastic dick taken him?” He gestured at Connor and Allen. “Fuck party-“ he stops as he notices you. “What the fuck is going on?”

“We’re going home,” you shrug as you follow the android holding your brother in law hostage. “Or at least to Allen’s.”

“Well fuck me in.” Gavin stomps out his cigarette and follows.

The taxi was already waiting by the road when you finally made it outside the parking lot. Automated cars rarely could navigate closed parking lots. All of them piled in, Gavin sitting beside you on one side while Allen sat between the android and his handler, Mika.

The car ride reeked of alcohol and awkwardness. Allen made some lame jokes while Mika politely laughed. Gavin made several comments about how dumb the android Connor was who in turned pointed out how Gavin had somehow managed to dump a shit ton of donuts earlier that day. If you hadn’t been there, Gavin probably would have strangled the android.

Allen’s place was in an old brick apartment. Home, a second home at least. Even back when she was here, the three of you were family. You stayed here more often than you’d care to admit. So often in fact, Allen and her decided to arrange the place like a bachelor. The kitchen up against one wall, the living split into a living space and a the other half a bedroom. The actually bedroom they had made into a guest room but reality it was your’s. You were the only guest more often than not.

Connor hauled Allen up the stairs and into the apartment. The android’s stamina was god sent but you still didn’t like him. You asked Connor to help Allen to bed before even considering what to do with everyone else. Mika followed Connor and Allen to the bed. You were going to help him undress but Mika was on top of that. Guess you got to deal with Gavin instead.

“So where do I sleep?” Gavin gestured towards the couch, probably not realizing how big the apartment really was.

“I don’t remember inviting you to stay.” You give him a smirk. Did you really plan on letting him stay?

“Well I can get a taxi and we can both go back to our places since I know we live near each other.” He was a cop, of course he knew where you lived.

“You can take the guest room down the hall,” you gesture past the living. “I’ll check on Allen.”

You heard him grumble as he made his way down the hall. Satisfied you made your way to Allen who was now sitting in his underwear on his bed. Mika had brought him water and sat beside him holding it. She whispered sweet things to him as he slowly climbed all the way into bed. You backed away as she set the glass on the nightstand. You felt a strange ping of jealousy as you turned around. Why? You weren’t in love with Allen but the sight of someone else taking care of him filled you with an unexplainable... anger?

You made your way to the guest room and quickly closed the door behind you as you strip down in anger.

“Well, I didn’t think you were actually ever interested in me.” Gavin’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts and quickly you picked up your discarded dress to cover yourself.

“Fuck, I forgot you were in here.” You glare at him as he slowly let his shirt drop to the floor.

Gavin had started working for the Detroit police department about three years ago, he hadn’t meet her when he started but she was already dead by then. He did however meet you one day when you started to bring Allen his various meals to make sure he was eating. Ever since then it was always him trying to impress you at every event Allen attended. The ‘if I win, we go on a date’ type deal. Thankfully, Gavin sucked. Always an excuse to blow him off or straight up telling him you weren’t interested but here you were, almost naked standing in front of him in a place you considered home.

“We’re gonna share the bed and you’re gonna stay on your side and not touch me.” You declared as you threw your dress on the ground and climbed into bed.

“Fuckin fine with me.” He grinned as he undid his belt and let his pants drop.

What the fuck did you expect? Him to be a gentleman and volunteer to sleep on the floor probably. You couldn’t really help admire the body his clothes hid. For a jackass who barely did his job, he somehow managed to keep himself in shape. His tight boxers managed to also show what his clothes hid and maybe you should just sleep on the floor instead. He grumbled about having to share a bed with a pretty lady as he climbed in, that grumbling cause you to furiously lay down a flip so you were facing away from him.

“As fucked up tonight had been,” he said once both of you had settled. “It’s been nice.”

You thought about tonight. Allen having fun on his own was nice to witness. Gavin being open with you was strange, different but pleasant. That android helping was ok and Mika taking care of Allen, that was envisions but admirable. Tonight had been nice. Maybe sharing this bed wasn’t such a horrible fate after all.

You roll over to see Gavin playing on his phone. He glanced at you before resuming.

“What’s up?” He asks after a minute of you staring.

“What’s the deal with Kamski anyways?” You ask as you notice the pillow laying between Gavin and you. “Also what the fuck is with the pillow?”

“You said,” he shrugs as he puts his phone down and rolls to face you. “You don’t want me touching you. This was the best way to restrain myself.”

The room was ill lit but the light that shone through gave Gavin softer features. You tired not to admit it but he was handsome. You pull the pillow towards yourself to cuddle. As much as you hated to admit it, you found intimacy strange with actual people. Androids knew much more and for the most part, easy to detach from. That’s the only thing you found them good for.

“Kamski, is my half brother.” Gavin started his hand inching closer to your’s. “We’re born about four months apart. Different moms but the same jackass dad. Chloe was born much later, when we were 3.” He paused a moment before continuing. “We grew up together kinda. Both our moms let us hangout with Chloe but not each other not that any of them tried to stop us as we got older. Chloe was close with both of us when we were growing up, the middle man if you say.” He let out a sign. You could see all the emotions you didn’t even realize Gavin was capable of. “I don’t know if I’m just being paranoid or crazy but I think Elijah loves her and not in the brotherly way. But one day, Chloe was gone to a camp and suddenly my mom gets a call from her mom. Next thing I’m at the hospital and Chloe had leukemia, acute form or some shit. Elijah was there everyday until the end.” You heard his voice shake but he pushed past it. “I haven’t heard or talk to him after that until the big fuckin news about androids blew up over the world.” Anger and bitterness laced his voice. “You can only imagine how pissed I was when I saw that thing beside him.”

“I’m sorry.” You whisper as you touch his hand.

He gave you the most gorgeous smile before saying “Thanks.”

You throw the pillow behind you and hear a satisfying thud as you pull yourself closer to Gavin.

“I thought we weren’t touching.” He asked as you nestled yourself in his arms.

“I can change my mind.” You gaze up at him. With a your free hand, you lightly trace his lips. “I can put the pillow back if you like.”

His answer was pulling you up to kiss. It was hot and wet, his hands pulling you up onto him. With barely any struggles, you find yourself naked and Gavin’s boxers gone. Why the fuck were you so wet for him? Was it because his cock was at the right hardness you loved or the fact you were unnecessary turned on by his display of emotions. At that moment you didn’t care.

With hardly any assistance, he slid right in. Both of you find you rhythm quickly, one hand on your ass and another on your breast. Soon enough his lips press against your chest, a nipple in his mouth as you try your best to repress some moans. You push him back down as you take him for a ride. The kisses are sloppy, the lip bites are hard enough to bruise. He takes control with you on top and thrusts his hips into your’s. His increasing swearing told you how close he was and just before he can satisfy himself, you hop off of him just as he climaxes. You do your best to hold off the sinister laugh you want so much to let burst out.

“Fuck me.” He gives you the most annoyed look you’ve ever seen. “What the fuck?” He gingerly gets out of bed to clean himself.

As much fun as it was to ruin his satisfactory night, you cuddle with him afterwards. Gavin’s an asshole but you can’t help but see him differently now. Maybe he was worth seeing again. A kiss, a giggle and a sigh said it all.

#gavin reed x reader #dbh #dbh gavin #dbh gavin reed #dbh captain allen #*windows error noises* #senstive content detected

[shakespearedidnothavecumsh0ts]

Freaky Monday

Maleo Week Day 3 // July 18th → Body Swap This is part one of  a two part fic! It’s a collab with @lilshitwayne for the #maleoweek. 

Once again, Malia was running late. Nothing seemed to go right for her. Her dog took forever to return when she let him out, her car broke down and despite rushing out of the house with her wet hair in just a braid, her uber driver manage to drop her three blocks away and she had to walk to the office. Her asshole boss was going to murder her.

“Sorry I’m late,” Malia sighed stepping into her boss’ office.

He held up a finger, signaling her to be quiet before he trailed off in Mandarin. That’s right, they were expecting ambassadors from the Chinese branch of the company later that day and everyone knew Theo Raeken was even more of a dick when he was expecting foreign visitors. Great. She was twice screwed.

Theo hung up and shot her a pointed look, raising his brows. He was pissed.

“Why are you late THIS time?” he asked with a scoff.

“Do you really want to know?”

“No exactly, I’m more concerned as to why you look like a wet dog.”

“My-”

“I don’t care. Look Melanie-”

“Malia,”

“Melinda, we have important visitors coming here later,” he sighed. “I trust all your work has been completed?”

“I sent you the email last night sir.”

“Right,” Theo chuckled before reaching into his wallet. “In that case, take the company card and go to the salon around the corner. I can’t have you looking like a mess in front of my potential investors.”

“Wow, want me to get a new dress too?” Malia scoffed rolling her eyes.

“Actually, I took the initiative and had one made for you. I estimated the measurements if that’s okay.”

“No problem sir.”

“Good, now get going.”

Malia scoffed as she eyed the dress on the hanger. She was all for looking for the part and making their guests feel comfortable, but judging from the large split on the side of the dress, she would probably be less than comfortable.

Sighing, she shimmied into the dress and let out a swear at how tight it was.

“Perfect fit Matilda,” Theo had said when she’d walked into his office.

“It’s Malia. And the dress is actually a bit snug.”

“That’s the style,” he smirked.

“I’m sure it is,” Malia replied, sneering when Theo turned his back.

She soon found out that it was also damn near impossible to sit in the dress. She had to wonder if Theo had made this tight on purpose or if her friends were right in their campaign to get her to wear more form fitting clothing.

It didn’t seem to matter as all Theo seemed to require of her was to smile and look pretty whilst he greeted his associates. This fact coupled with her intensive knowledge about his schedule and preferences made her wonder why he didn’t just marry her instead. She cleaned up most of his messes anyway.

She’d zoned out most of what he was saying because of how insufferable he was but suddenly became alert when he shaked his head profusely and chuckled before uttering something in Mandarin.

“I’m sorry did you say something?” Malia asked politely.

“Mrs Lee just asked if you were my wife,” Theo chuckled.

“If only he could be so lucky,” Malia scoffed.

“He would be,” Mrs Lee replied, shocking Malia. She had no idea the elderly woman could speak English.

“Well luckily for us both, I’m just his personal assistant,” Malia smiled.

“Malia, why don’t you show Mrs Lee around?” Theo asked.

“It would be my pleasure,” Malia smiled, genuinely this time before guiding the older woman on a tour of the office.

Mrs Lee went on about how beautiful Malia was before handing her a beautiful jade necklace. It looked ancient and had to have been centuries old.

“I- I can’t accept this,” Malia gaped.

“Nonsense dear.”

“It’s beautiful and-”

“Would bring out your eyes. Please accept it or I’ll be deeply offended.”

“Well…. I wouldn’t want that.” Malia replied with a small smile before putting the necklace on.

“See? Beautiful”

"Thank you,” Malia sighed, nodding politely.

~*~

Malia stared at the email on her phone for the longest while. The offer seemed really tempting, always had. Even more so after the day she had. Theo seemed to have no use for her other than to look pretty and smile. She was wasting her talents. She needed a new job indeed.

They had emailed her back. It wasn’t better than the promotion she had envisioned on the Alpha Industries, but it was better than being stuck as Theo’s PA forever. The catch? She had to be there in ten minutes, and she still had one more hour before her expedient ended.

Taking a deep breath and resolving to be brave and quick, Malia walked to Mr. Raeken’s office and knocked.

Malia sighed after getting the go ahead to enter. She had no idea what to tell Mr Raeken, but decided that she was well deserving of a day off.

“Nice necklace,” she scoffed, hoping to dissipate some of her nerves.

“Malia, hi…” he looked up with a smile and for a second - just a tiny second, okay - she melted in her heels.

“Mr. Raeken, I-” she bit her lip, maybe she shouldn’t tell him about the interview, maybe “I’m not feeling very well, may I go home earlier?” Malia lied.

“Oh?” Theo asked with a raised brow.

He wouldn’t object to her leaving because lord knows the girl worked too hard. But of course, the email he received from his friend gloating about possibly poaching his assistant made him believe otherwise.

“Yeah, it’s- it’s the time of the month and I’d really like to lie down” Malia fidgeted under his glare. She knew just from the way he was looking at her that there was no way he would let her go. She was hoping the overshare would make him uncomfortable enough to dismiss her earlier.

“You can take some pills here and take a break. Your work day still hasn’t ended and regardless of the fact, you still need to work,” Theo shrugged.

The bastard. If looks could kill, Theo would be dead by now. Malia bit down on her lip not to curse him and Theo internally sighed. He probably wasn’t doing his crush on Malia any favors, but at least it would stop her from going to work somewhere else. Call it jealousy, but she wasn’t just an amazing girl, but also the best personal assistant he had ever had. He wasn’t letting her go that easily.

“You have a point,” Malia sighed. “But I’d really feel much more comfortable in my own bed,” she addes. “I can make it up tomorrow….”

“Malia. Period or no period, you still have got to work. Go lie down in the lounge for a few” he scoffed, knowing very well that she was lying. Maybe he paid a little too much attention on her, but hadn’t she called in sick just three weeks ago? And then appeared next day pale as a leaf popping painkillers and having more bathroom breaks than normal?

“Right.” Malia scoffed. “I’ll just take whatever advice you give me because you know exactly what I’m going through.” she replied with a sarcastic nod.

He let out a sigh and thought that maybe she really wasn’t lying and wasn’t feeling well, instead of trying to sneak to a job interview. Theo opened his mouth to reply, but Malia rolled eyes.

“Save it, Mr. Raeken” she said, before storming out of his office.

Theo sighed and lowered his head, using his fingers to comb his hair and toying with the necklace hanging on his neck, a recent gift from Mrs. Lee. Maybe this time he had crossed the line.

~*~

Malia let out a sigh and sunk deeper into the silk sheets of her bed before realising that she didn’t own silk sheets. She looked over at the clock on the bedside table and flew up. She was going to be late. She had no memory of the night before. Did she hook up with some random stranger?

Rushing to the bathroom, she realised that she was topless, which was weird, she knew she wearing pants. Silk boxers? Still, she had no time to debate that. She rushed to the bathroom and didn’t know how she felt about using a strangers electric toothbrush so she opted for gargling with mouthwash and went to open the medicine cabinet for something to soothe her headache. She instead found herself screaming when she noticed her reflection wasn’t her own.

Theo had a similar experience, he enjoyed the softness of the blankets he was wrapped in; they were perfect for how insanely cold he felt. Naturally- he cursed the invention of alarm clocks when he looked over at the time, six thirty am? That was bizarre. Reaching out he tapped the irritating thing before sweeping long brown hair from his face. Long brown hair was something he’d never had throughout his life neither were dainty hands and small wrists. And was that a triskele tattoo on the inside of said small wrist? Theo had no tattoos, in fact- he was terrified of needles.

He rushed over to the mirror and let out a small gasp when he noticed who was looking back at him.

Theo touched the mirror, shaky fingers following the contour of his - her - nose… Her soft mouth, the cheekbones. He had to be dreaming.

“Wake up. Wake up now” Theo closed his eyes and pinched himself.

He wasn’t. How was this possible? He ignored the urge to do whatever the dirtiest parts of his mind were telling him to do and instead found himself distracted by the jade necklace around her neck. It was identical to the one that Mrs Lee gave to him the day before, minus the fact that the chain on hers was more delicate.

“Fuck” Theo whispered under his breath. “I can’t be Malia …” just as he mentioned her name, the phone rang across the room.

Theo leaped for it, grabbing her cell phone and picking up just in time to hear his own irate voice “What the fuck did you do Raeken!” she yelled, rough voice and spitting fire.

“Me?! How is- wait- are you me?” Theo asked in a hushed yell, almost as if this was some dirty secret.

It was, wasn’t it?

“You stupid bastard! If this is some joke- you know what, I quit! You can stop the prank now, idiot!” Malia yelled even louder. Surely she was scaring the crap of his uptight neighbors.

“How could this be a prank? You’re delusional! And you can’t quit, I’m in your body!” Theo yelled back.

“You what!? There’s no way this is possible, I- fuck” Malia let out a small gasp. A small woman was standing on the doorway of her- Theo’s room. She was holding her coat and looking completely horrified.

“What? What happened?” Theo asked, growing frantic. He needed to know what was going on.

“Theo” Malia said softly, trying to open a plastic smile to the horrified old lady “Your mom is here”

“That’s impossible. Last I heard she was in Paris sipping mimosas with some Brazilian model who’s half her age.” Theo scoffed rolling his eyes.

“Well, then I’m being robbed by the world’s most ancient thief!” Malia cried, throwing a dirty glare to the lady “Who are you? What are you doing on Theo’s house?”

“Shit,” Theo groaned. “That’s Daisy, my housekeeper. And she’s about to smack you in the head with a newspaper and ask you what the fuck you drank last night.”

As upset as Theo was about Daisy being riled up he had to admit that it would be funny for Malia to get hit by Daisy.

Malia gulped down. She did feel hangover, so maybe Theo deserved to have his head smacked after all. Maybe this was all nothing more than a horrible acid trip.

“Hi… Daisy” she let out an uneasy smile “Theo- I’m fine”

The woman crossed arms “Theodore.”

Malia’s fake smile dropped “Look, I didn’t drink anything, in fact I-”

“Theodore” she cut Malia out sternly “Shut up”                        

“Yes ma'am.” Malia replied, causing Theo to snicker on the other end of the line. It was nice to be the safe one once in a while.

He now understood why all his friends enjoyed watching him get into it with Daisy.

“What was it tonight?” Daisy scoffed, putting her coat on the big vanity that Theo clearly used as an office table and walking towards Malia. “Was it the job again?” her voice was softer now, but Malia didn’t trust this woman. She sounded way too much like Malia’s dad.

“That horrible girl?” Daisy tried once more, picking up the dirty clothes on the floor and throwing Malia a glare for leaving them there.

“What horrible girl?” Malia asked with a scoff and raised brow, she had a suspicion Daisy meant her.

“Oh baby” Daisy let out a small sigh, walking closer and tiptoeing to cup Malia’s face. It showed just how tiny she was, since Theo wasn’t exactly tall to begin with. “You gotta let go.” she patted Malia’s cheek gently.

“Uhm…. I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about,” Malia replied with a blank expression.

“Enough is enough, Theo” Daisy sighed, walking away “Go shower, you stink. And you have work soon. Come have breakfast”

Malia was left there, stunned and trying to figure out what had just happened and then she remembered “Theo!” she grabbed the cellphone forgotten on the bed and pressed it to her ear.

“Now you remember me, uh? So while you were trying to pry information from my housekeeper, I made a game plan. Meet you at work.” and easily like that, he hanged up.

~*~

Malia let out a scoff and crossed her arms as she sat across from Theo.

“Mind running that plan by me again?” she said, raising her brow, shocked by the sight of her cleavage in that dress she never wore.

“Okay, so- I got us coarse salt, holy water from the church across the street and I paid 50 bucks for the priest to come here. We’ll sit on a circle made with the salt and let him pray for us and we’ll be fine” Theo answered. He had decided quickly that there was only one way to explain the body swap: demons.

Malia let out a scoff “It sounds even more ridiculous now than it did ten minutes ago” and then she added with a glare “By the way - Did you used fifty dollars of my money?”

This was honestly such bullshit and she couldn’t believe he’d used her money for it.

“I’ll pay you back” Theo rolled eyes “In fact, I don’t want to use your economies, so we should switch credit cards.”

It did not have anything to do with the fact that he had spent forty minutes that morning to get dressed. Her closet was a fashion disaster and more importantly - hid her angelic curves. Seriously, Malia needed a reality check.

“Good. And yea, we should,” she said “I need to stay on top of the medication for- shit- Coyote!”

“You do realize that sentence made no sense, right?” Theo crossed arms.

“My dog! Did you feed my dog?!” Malia gasped.

“You have a dog?” he genuinely stunned. Theo wouldn’t say he hadn’t snooped around her house, much like he was sure she did with his. Still, he had seen no dog. Perhaps it was really small “Is it tiny? Because I didn’t see any dog.”

"No. But he was probably out with that slutty French poodle again.” Malia scoffed. “She gave him fleas.”

“Oh-” Theo couldn’t stifle a laughter this time “Okay, uhm- I guess you should go home earlier and feed the dog?” he glared at the clock and paced around “Where’s the fucking priest?!”

Just as he said that the door of his office opened and a reluctant young priest came in.

“Morning, I’m Father Corey…” the man sighed, obviously not wanting to be there and holding his bible like a shield “I’m here to exorcise Malia Tate-Hale and Theodore Raeken, despite the fact that I was not blessed by the Roman Church to do so and this is absolutely ridiculous”

“Thank you. Please tell him that this absolutely ridiculous,” Malia scoffed rolling her eyes. “And how old are you anyway?” she asked, taking a look at the priest, who seemed like more of an altar boy if she was being honest.

“Eighteen but she refuses to believe I’m not a priest” the boy said tiredly.

Theo - in Malia’s body - let out a yelp “No, I paid you fifty bucks for this. Let us sit in the circle and you do your mojo”

Malia rolled her eyes before catching a glimpse of the jade necklace around his- her?- neck. She realised that Theo had one identical to it.

“Wait,” she scoffed.

“No time to wait” Tho mumbled, doing a big circle on the floor with coarse salt and pulling her to sit next to him. “Father, please begin”

“Look dumbass. We have the same necklace.” Malia scoffed.

“So?” Theo hugged his knees - Malia truly had bony knees he realized - and closed eyes “Shh, the exorcism has started”

“I know having you inside my body is like…. Equivalent to having a demon- but this won’t work.” Malia scoffed. “We should talk to Mrs Lee.”

“What? Why?” Theo said, without opening his eyes. Corey - the altar boy - seemed to be truly mesmerized by the amount of bullshit he was experiencing in first hand.

“Uhm…. She gave us matching necklaces and we wake up in each other’s bodies the next morning?”

“Oh…” he seemed to be thinking, before his - Malia’s - face lighted up with glee “Then we could simply swap the necklaces!”

“I don’t think it’s that simple… But, sure,” Malia shrugged, pausing a little before taking it off. Was it wrong for her to be awe of how pretty she looked? It was strange, she’d never really seen herself as beautiful. She hadn’t for years.

“Here” Theo took off his necklace and handed her, practically beaming with happiness. Sure, it hadn’t been all that bad to be stuck inside Malia, but it hadn’t been a walk in the park either and he was eager to go back to his body.

She handed him the other necklace and he put it on, waiting for the sparkles and the magic to happen.

“Uhm?” Malia scoffed. “This isn’t working. Here, take it back. It doesn’t go with my suit.”

Theo sighed. Of course life couldn’t go the easy way. “Then the exorcism it is. Father Corey?”

~*~

Theo turned his back around to the mirror. Yes, he was in a changing room. Yes he had picked revealing clothes. However, he didn’t feel in any right to see Malia’s body naked without her permission. He had been with women enough to know his way with a bra even with closed eyes and while showering was awkward, he could get it done without seeing much.

It was a temptation all the time, but her knew the girl would appreciate.

“Ms. Tate-Hale? Everything alright?” called the girl who was helping him around the store.                        

“Everything’s fine,” Theo called back. “Do you have this in a red?” he asked poking his head out. “I think it’d look great with my necklace.”

~*~

Malia sat in Theo’s home office, going over his accounts. It was a lot easier now when a lecture from Daisy revealed to her that Theo wore glasses. She’d never seen him in them, maybe that’s why she always had so much extra work cleaning up loopholes and loose ends.

To say she was living the dream would be an understatement, there she was- not bringing Theo coffee or using her degree to organise a schedule so all his lady friends would be appeased without finding out about the others.

Of course, nothing lasted forever and she let out a groan when Daisy crossed the threshold.

“Yes Daisy?” Malia scoffed, removing the glasses.

“Don’t Yes Daisy me, Theo” she said, crossing arms “Your credit card bill is here.”

The old lady put the piece of paper on the desk and Malia seriously questioned what kind of housekeeper opened their bosses bills. Daisy did.

“What’s this, Theodore? Four hundred dollars in a dress? Shoes of two hundred dollars each!?”                 

“Wait what?” Malia scoffed, putting the glasses  on and looking over the bill. “That bastard,” she scoffed dialing his- her- number.

“I’m worried about you, Theo!” Daisy cried “Since morning you’ve been acting weird, now you’re spending money on girls… What’s wrong, baby? I thought it was getting better?”

“Thought what was getting better?” Malia scoffed dialing the number again. She didn’t trust Theo anywhere near a salon with her body. Or anywhere for that matter. God only knew what the misogynistic prick was doing with her body as they spoke.                        

“Who were you buying a dress for, Theodore? ” Daisy threw Malia a cold glare “Was it for that horrible woman? ”

“What horrible woman?” Malia scoffed, frustrated. “I tell you I don’t understand and all you do is start consoling me.”

"Lydia! I thought we had an agreement to not bring up her name!”

“Who- oh…” Malia sighed. She’d remembered the redhead. How could she forget? She’d walked in on them in his office a few times. Not the highlight of her job experience.                        

“Yes. Oh” Daisy gave Malia a look full of pity “Maybe you should start therapy again…”

“Again? Theo was- I mean- I was in therapy?” Malia asked, shocked.                        

Daisy frowned and looked confused “Don’t tell me you don’t remember. I remember you whining non stop when I dragged you there”

“I just don’t remember why exactly…. I haven’t been remembering a lot ever since I had a drink off with my Chinese dignitaries. I got drank under the table by an old lady, not my finest moment,” Malia spoke, improvising.

Daisy flinched “It’s the same all over again” she sighed “All you need is for her to step on your life again and the drinking starts all over. I’m calling your therapist. Please don’t spend that much money anymore”

She tiptoed to press a kiss on Malia’s cheek and walked away, worn out.

Malia softened, she needed to know what had happened between them. Was that why he was such a dick to her?

“Hello?” Theo’s voice was bubbly on the other side of the line and Malia realized she completely forgot about the phone still dialing.

“You took my body to a salon? Are you insane?!” she whisper yelled, though Daisy had successfully calmed her down.

“You had some split ends love. I didn’t do anything dramatic Melissa.” Theo scoffed rolling his eyes.

“Mel- alright. Thanks bye” Malia fumed, hanging up without thinking. She was going to make sure he remembered her name. Grabbing her wallet, she walked to the door yelling after her “Daisy, I’m going out, don’t wait me up!”

~*~

Theo was sitting on Malia’s couch, relaxed. He’d finally gotten the dumb dog to like him, at least stop trying to bite him. Malia’s DVR content showed she needed some serious help. Seriously, who watched that stuff?

The phone buzzed and he threw a look at the screen. They had changed phones too, thankfully. He didn’t need Malia to snoop through his messages.

“My name is Malia” said the text, with a picture attached. Theo let out a yelp of horror. She had tattooed her name on his ribs!

He gaped as he stared at the image on the screen and angrily called her and was less than happy to hear her speaking so smugly on the other end.

“You like? I was going for classy yet edgy with the font.” Malia spoke smugly.

“What the fuck, Malia!? It’s permanent! And my body!” Theo yelled, cursing the way Malia’s girly voice didn’t come out rough like he wanted it to.

“Tattoos can be removed, I mean- they take forever and hurt like a bitch to remove but no worries, you’re the boss you can get time off to recover.”

“You’re fired!” Theo yelled, furiously.

“Actually, I think I’ll give you that raise you asked for Malia.” Malia chuckled smugly.

“Why the fuck are you doing this!?” Theo screeched “You know what- I’ll sell your dog. Goodnight” and he hanged up.

Malia growled, she didn’t trust him one bit. She grabbed his car keys and drove like a madman to the other side of the town.

It was late already, but Malia was growing scared. Her poor puppy.  Grabbing the spare key from under the mat she barged in angrily.

“I’ll kill you if you touch my dog you son of a bitch!”

“You’re the one who tattooed my body” Theo said. He was lounging on the couch, in an over sized shirt he had found on Malia’s mess of a wardrobe and socks. He made sure his voice sounded utterly bored.

“What are you wearing?” Malia asked, her eyes widening at the sight of the garment on her body.

“This ugly thing? You should know, I found it in your closet” Theo shrugged “But the socks are comfy, I’ll give you that”

“Take it off.” Malia glared. “Take it off right now.”

“Then I’ll be just in my underwear! I mean, yours- No!” Theo pouted “Also, if you stopped by to see Coyote, is too late. Sold it already”

“JUST TAKE IT OFF!” Malia snapped.

#maleoweek #maleo #malia tate #theo raeken #fic

[agentwallflower]

Dull One Chapter 36

Happy pride, everyone! 

This weekend is Pride here. Clearly I am here and not downtown covered in sunscreen and celebrating. Because I am a gremlin hermit who still doesn’t look masculine enough for my wanting. Maybe next year I’ll have more confidence? We’ll see.

Anyway, my insecurities and dysphoria aside, have a new chapter! Heh heh.

Next chapter goes up on June 24. I’ll see you then! Thanks for reading and enjoy Pride wherever you are. 

You're almost there.

Hearing came back to Mointz first. A soft voice, almost covered up by the whistling wind, whispered into her ear. It was – maybe – a girl's voice, but it had been hard to tell as she regained her senses.

For a split second, she swore she saw someone in the distance. They turned away and disappeared into the light, but again she could tell at least one thing – they weren't an adult at the very least.

Keep going. You're almost there.

Mointz felt warmth creep through her entire body, filling her up like she had sunk into a hot bath. Then the pink light was gone, and she was standing in the same square she had been in moments ago.

“What?”

Up above, the soft glow of a full moon turned everything in the abandoned plaza silver. Stars twinkled overhead while below, the soft bubbling of rushing water gave the night a tranquil feeling. It was coming from the once-dry fountain. Now, however, it was full like it had never been empty.

Thanks to the moon, Mointz caught the soft glint of metal at the bottom of the fountain's bowl. There was a pink flower resting there, glittering like a precious jewel. Nothing had been in the fountain before but dirt and cobwebs, but it looked as though it had just been dropped there by a careless child.

And now another one had to fish it out.

Mointz grunted as she hauled herself onto the edge and stretched out in order to reach it. At one point, her hand gave way and almost sent her toppling headfirst into the fountain. However, she caught herself at the last second and only managed to drench herself partially. Which was kind of annoying, but was probably better than a cracked skull.

“Ok, next time maybe I ask for help or something.”

Still, with a little effort Mointz retrieved the token and hopped back from the now running fountain. She held the token up to the light, studying it. It was identical to the flower from the first trial, and if not for the weight in the bag she would have thought someone was messing with her. But after she dried it off, it joined its mate in her pocket. That was two down and one to go for trials.

AND ANOTHER THING, YOU ALMOST SMASHED YOUR HEAD IN!

Mointz winced as she clapped her free hand to her temple. “Nice to hear from you too, Voice.”

… Oh, not again! You didn't catch any of that?!

“Clearly not because I'm only getting a headache now.”

Said ache started to lessen as she wrung out the hem of her skirt. Maybe Voice was letting up out of embarrassment. The pressure leveled out to its usual level as she left a puddle of water behind her. Now it was just a matter of getting back to the tower for some rest.

When did you stop hearing me anyway?

Mointz frowned and stopped. “Probably about when we came into the square. So... the entire trial I guess? Maybe it was keeping me from having outside help?”

I don't like this, kid... if it can mess with us it can't be good.

Just thinking about it caused the girl to shiver. “Well, at least it can only happen one more time, right?”

Nobody answered her. And honestly, she wouldn't have wanted to get an answer to her question anyway. That was a dark void that although she was running towards it full speed, seeing and entering it was something else entirely. And so Mointz pushed it from her mind as she closed the gate to the square.

Despite her own anxieties, Mointz had to admit she felt lighter than she had in weeks. Something had sloughed off her, maybe washing off in the waters of the restored fountain. Walking, though still difficult, wasn't as exhausting. Of course, she might have been imagining that. Or, maybe the fountain had some magic of its own.

Either way, it felt good in a way she hadn't felt in what seemed like years. If only it would last longer.

Up ahead of where she stood, Spaekna was sitting on the wall and sharpening his sword with a whetstone. His head picked up at her footsteps and he jumped down. The sword went back to his side and he met her halfway, looking expectantly at her hands.

“Did you do it?”

“Two down, one to go.” Mointz looked around the square, frowning. “Hey, where's Corabe?”

She stood on tiptoe to try and get a view of the road. Thanks to where she was standing, picking out a retreating mage would have been easy even for her. However, the road was empty. The only thing that looked back at her was a stray cat, and even that didn't stay long.

Think she got called back to the tower?

Yeah, and she flew there. Mointz frowned as she turned back to her friend. Much to her surprise however, Spaekna was giving her a strange look. Finally, he shook his head and started walking towards the road.

“What are you even talking about? Corabe stayed back at the tower.”

…

“What?”

Mointz caught up with Spaekna as they cleared the gate and started down the dusty road that would take them to the tower. It was hard to match with his longer steps, but a bit of sprinting caught him off guard. Now they were standing in the middle of an abandoned road with only the moon and some scattered torches to light their way.

It was enough light to see the look on his face – was he worried – as he looked her over. “Did you hit your head in there? You told me when we left that Corabe had to stay behind and finish some assignment. Remember, you were really broken up about it?”

The hell she was.

“No... I'm pretty sure...” Mointz shook her head, frowning. “Maybe the magic was messing with me.”

Arguing with Spaekna was only going to wear her out. Whatever was going on, it had nothing to do with him. Her answers would come back at the tower, where hopefully Corabe was waiting for her with an explanation.

And at the very least, she would be there.

Think she pulled off some weird transportation magic to sneak back and set up a surprise congratulations party?

That would have been both nice and highly unlikely at the same time. Still, Mointz found herself hoping so as they continued their walk. With the moon to light their way overhead, the city could have almost been pretty. Almost, because she still hated the damn place, but it was getting an honorable mention. Maybe she would even not curse it out one day years down the line if she was feeling festive.

Maybe. She did hate it.

Spaekna must have been psychic, because he came just in the nick of time to disrupt her train of thoughts. “How did it go in there anyway? All I saw was a flash of pink light and then you're coming out saying it was over.”

She shrugged in response. “I mean I made the fountain work again.”

The guard responded with a snort as they rounded the corner. “That fountain hasn't worked in nearly a century, Mointz. You're good, but you're not that...”

And then he got close enough for her wet clothes to brush against his skin.

“Ok, you know what, I should learn not to ask you questions. You're up to weird things again.”

He's not the fastest learner, is he?

Mointz found herself grinning in the darkness as she kept her eyes on the road that would take them back. The tower was close, and she knew that from more than just the colored stones. It had a presence about it, probably because of just how many mages were stuck there. Put enough sources of magic together, and it sticks.

That night, it was particularly electrifying as Spaekna walked her through the gate. She waved him goodbye, and then headed through the doors alone. As soon as she did, she was stopped dead in her tracks. A full body current ran through her body in the blink of an eye, rendering her mute and paralyzed for what felt like nothing and an eternity at the same time.

Sunlight flashed through the window, bright as high noon, and then it was gone. When she could move again, the moon glinted through the opening. Though, Mointz swore she had felt the warmth of the sun. Was it some strange prank gone wrong? A thousand thoughts kept running through her brain as she mounted the stairs.

Maybe you should get some rest, kid. You're not looking too good. Or at least get out of those wet clothes before you get sick.

“Maybe.” Climbing the steps was still as hard as ever, but she made it to the right floor with only a little effort. Her door swung open silently on repaired hinges and she nudged it closed behind her with her foot. It took every effort to change clothes instead of just falling face first onto the bed, but she did it. After all, sleeping on a wet bed was even worse than dealing with Phirsa.

Amazing that that even existed, but it was true.

Mointz wasn't sure how long she got to rest there in the quiet darkness. It may have been a few minutes, or it could have been hours. The time didn't really matter because it was still dark out when she found herself rocketing out of bed.

The pouch Corabe had given her was shaking in her pocket. One of the wards, the one closest to her door, was glowing a bright red, All she could do was stare at it and try to reach for Spinner. The metal was still heavy in her hands, but it would hurt all the same if she threw it hard enough.

It never came to that, however. A few moments passed and the ward stopped glowing. It settled back into invisibility and the pouch lay still. It was only then that Mointz realized she had been holding her breath. She let it out in a sigh and flopped back onto the bed, staring up at her dark ceiling with tired eyes.

“What the hell was that?”

Dunno, go ask a mage about it?

“That requires putting pants back on and getting out of bed.”

Neither of those sounded great. However, thanks to her abrupt awakening, sleep didn't seem likely. Her entire body felt like it was full of bees and staying still proved impossible. Something wanted her up, and it wasn't going to let her go back down without a fight. So, pants and getting out of bed it was.

Most of the tower was silent as Mointz stepped out onto the landing and closed the door behind her. There was still a faint hum of magical energy, but it was most likely residual from generations of mages making their home there. It wasn't enough to bother her as she climbed the stairs aimlessly.

The healing door was shut tight and the light was on underneath when she passed that floor. For a brief moment, she considered seeing if they were up for talking, but then she turned and left. There was someone else she wanted to see instead, and they were higher up. Maybe when she found them, they could explain their disappearance.

Like the floor below, the light was on in Corabe's classroom. It shone straight through the open door, welcoming whoever the hell wanted to come in to do so. Her cloak was thrown on the ground by the door, and the large stack of books she was surrounded by hinted at some heavy reading. Her back was bent, and the only moving came from her flipping pages frantically.

“No there has to be something...”

Her voice was near frantic. It had been years since Mointz had heard her like that and it struck her right in the heart. Awkwardness be damned, she crossed the threshold in order to comfort her oldest friend in whatever strangeness had taken her over. Temporarily, the afternoon was forgotten.

The creaking of the floorboards got the mage's attention. Corabe's head turned and her reddened eyes widened in what could have only been shock. Really, it looked like she had seen a ghost – Mointz even looked back to check. It was in that moment that her friend sprung up from the chair and all but launched herself into her arms.

Their lips met as Corabe wrapped her arms tightly around Mointz and almost knocked her to the floor. If not for the wall, they would've both been sent sprawling. Tears were streaming down the mage's face as she clung on tight.

And... well... that was definitely a kiss, wasn't it?

Mointz probably should've said something, but her shock had given away to fluffier emotions she had shoved down for far too long. Her arms found her way around Corabe as well and her eyes closed. Was she taking advantage of the situation? Probably.

Right then she didn't really give a damn.

Corabe was the one who broke the kiss first, tears still streaming down her face. “How are you even here?”

“I came through the door?”

Ok, clearly her brain wasn't completely turned back on. Still, Corabe had the same surprised look on her face that Spaekna had worn back in the square. Maybe the two were connected, but what had caused it still wasn't making much sense. Plus, again, her brain was somewhere else.

The mage shook her head, frowning. “I... I saw you. You were... just laying there.”

Her grip tightened. “You were dead. And then I was back here and there was blood on my hands and I couldn't understand.”

There was still dried blood under her nails, actually. Mointz noticed that as Corabe pulled away to look back at her desk. She had pages filled with notes, none of which made any sense to her. It was some magic, she knew that much.

What the hell was even going on?

Mointz frowned as she watched the mage pace. “Maybe you saw a death vision? I get that a lot.”

If she had been hoping to comfort Corabe, she got the exact opposite result. The mage's head whipped around so fast it was a miracle she didn't break something. Her eyes were as wide as plates, and it wasn't from seeing her.

“You see yourself die? How many times?”

Good question.

Mointz winced as she rubbed the back of her neck. “I... kind of lost count? But that wouldn't explain how you wound up here. Spaekna said you stayed behind because you had something to do?”

Corabe shook her head as she stood back up and crossed the room again. “I didn't say anything like that. He was the one who told me stay behind because my magic would mess up the trial. You fought him on it...”

She shook her head again. “Why do we have two different memories?”

“You're the magic person, you tell me.” Mointz fished the token out of her pocket and held it up to the light. “Think it has something to do with this?”

Right then, it felt like any other chunk of metal fashioned into a decorative flower. If it was holding some sort of weird time magic, she didn't feel it. Instead, it just felt warm from being so close to her body.

Mointz held it out for Corabe, but the mage didn't take it. Instead, she went right back to hugging. There was no kiss this time, but her warmth and closeness was more than enough after such a strange night.

“None of this is making any sense and you've been hiding things from me.”

That caused the girl to bite her lip as she hugged Corabe back. “I didn't know how to say I've been seeing myself die.”

“Like that might have helped.”

Yeah, it might have. Hindsight was twenty-twenty in that regard. Still, just as she solved one mystery, another one was popping up. Just what had caused the discrepancy in time? And more than that, who was letting Corabe in on her less than fun visions of being dead? If that was going to keep happening, she was going to have a problem with it.

After all, it was one thing to see herself die. It was something else entirely for … well, hell, now she really didn't know what to call them.

“Maybe you should ask Palea about it. She might know something?” Mointz' suggestion fell flat. Even she thought it sounded dumb. “Or... I don't know, magic's not my thing.”

Corabe shook her head as she hugged even tighter, practically fitting under her friend's chin. It was a good fit. “I'll ask in the morning. Don't think I'm going to be sleeping tonight.”

She must have remembered herself, because her face turned red as she looked up at Mointz. “I should... probably apologize for my actions?”

Despite everything, Mointz found herself chuckling as she gave the mage a squeeze. “No apologies needed.”

It wasn't quite how she had seen something like that happening – or happening at all for that matter – but it had gone down regardless. And unless something slammed through her chest and killed her instantly, it had been real.

And... well, a repeat would have been lovely. But she wasn't going to push her luck.

Corabe was the one to break the hug as she backed up to return to her table. “I should... see if I can find anything.”

She reached out to squeeze Mointz's hand before she did. “Get some rest. You know Phirsa's going to want to put the screws on you when he hears what happened.”

Mointz snorted in annoyance as she looked towards the door. “Now there's a guy I'd love to see in a death vision. Too bad I can't control it, huh.”

She squeezed back of course as she left, closing the door behind her. The walk back to her room was a little difficult. Right then it felt as though she might just float away. It was only through dark magic or will that her feet remained on the ground as  the door closed behind her.

Nice, kid. Nice.

“Voice please don't.” Mointz covered her burning face with a pillow. “I can't even right now.”

Exaltation was mixing with deep worry into an unidentifiable mess. One thing was certain – she wasn't going to be getting any sleep that night. Whether it was from strange magic or her own giddiness, she wasn't sure.

But damn if she wasn't going to be playing that moment over and over in her head for more than one reason.

#The Magpie's Stash #Dull One #You're welcome #:3c