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hyunniesgirl · 8 months

Text

Call it what you want

Pairing: Hyunjin x fem!reader

Summary: You and Hyunjin were never on the best terms but when you're cheated on and your ex is trying to get you back, Hyunjin does everything he can to prevent it from happening.

Genre: enemies(ish) to lovers, smut, fluff

Words count: 4,102

Warnings for this chapter: cheating, mentions of violence, insecure thoughts(if there's anything missing let me know)

A/N: english is not my first language so if you find any mistakes please let me know.

Chapter one: shameless

Next chapter: drunk

+18 minors do not interact!!!

That week was the worst since you started college. Everything was going wrong. You had bombed on your last exam, forgot a project due to that week and to top it off you were on your period with cramps that could surely kill you.

You're used to these symptoms by now, sometimes you even faint from the pain. So a day before your best friend's birthday party you let all your friends and your boyfriend know that you won't be able to show up.

Turns out that after you rested a lot and took some really strong meds you are well enough to get up. The truth is that even though you are still feeling weak and nauseous, you will make some extra effort because it's Jisung's birthday.

You don't bother dressing up, all you care is to be comfortable so a hood and sweats are enough.

When you arrived, the party was already crowded. Jisung's house is huge so to be bustling with people like this he must have invited half of the people in school.

"Hey! What are you doing here?", you hear Chan's voice as soon as you enter the door.

"Am I not welcome?", you joke, giving him a hug and he smiles.

"Of course you are, I just thought you were sick", he says, examining you to see if you're alright.

"I am, but I took some meds so I could come", you say looking around, trying to find the birthday boy.

Before Chan could answer you, someone catches his attention, you look up his shoulder and see Hyunjin, one of your friend's friends, he looks at you up and down and raises an eyebrow.

"Y/L/N"

You roll your eyes, "Hwang"

He whispers something to Chan, but you're not interested nor well enough to pick a fight with him at the moment, so you say bye to Chan and go looking for Jisung.

You don't find him anywhere downstairs so you go look on the second floor, maybe he's in his room. Before opening the door you take a deep breath preparing mentally, if he is hooking up with someone you'll just congratulate him later.

He's not there though. You take your phone out of your pocket and send him a message asking about his whereabouts. You begin wandering around, expecting his response and looking in the other rooms to see if you can find him or anyone else you know.

And you do find someone.

Your boyfriend.

Your dear boyfriend on top of a girl you don't know.

Never in a million years would you have expected your boyfriend to cheat on you, so it was pretty shocking when you saw him in that situation.

"Are you fucking kidding me?", that's the only thing you were able to say, to convey your feelings, there's a lot running through your mind at the moment: confusion, hurt, disgust, anger.

You say it loud enough for them and the people in the corridor to listen.

"Y-Y/N?", he stammers looking like he is seeing a ghost.

Your mind is flowing with so many thoughts you can't process it, the only thing you know is that you need proof so he or anyone won't be able to gaslighting you in thinking you saw it wrong.

You have your phone in your hand, so you open the camera and take a picture. He's still there paralyzed. Is it fear? Embarrassment? Does he not care enough to try and explain himself?

You are not thinking straight but you have to get out of there. You need to.

You're feeling dizzy, suddenly the medicine you took lost all effect and you are feeling sick again. Your blood is boiling and you want to cry, but you can't, not in front of so many people.

Soon as you are downstairs you begin to see double and your steps begin to falter, you try with all your mighty to walk straight. But when everything turns black and you feel your legs giving out, you can't feel the ground when you fall.

When you regain consciousness you're inside of a car and to your surprise you see Hyunjin there, looking at you with the most worried face you have ever seen on him. When he sees you blinking and opening your eyes his uninterested look comes back as if the worry from before was never there.

"Where are we?", you ask, not thinking too much about it, putting your hand on your head. Now you have a headache too.

"In front of your house", he says and you look outside checking that you can see the wood fence with flowers from the vertical garden you planted under the balcony of your room last year.

"What happened?"

"You fainted in the middle of the party", he answers looking at the street.

"And why are you here?", you try to understand, very confused as to why would he, of all people, do that?

Hyunjin doesn't like you, you don't know why and you usually don't mind because you don't like him either. Something about him brings a bitter taste to your mouth, you're not sure of what.

Maybe it's that air about him, always full of himself, always looking utterly uninterested. Or maybe the fact that he plays with girls left and right makes you uncomfortable.

You even had a crush on him at some point, before you faced reality: you wouldn't be more than one of his conquests, so you stayed aside and your feelings began to subside with time.

"I was going home already and the guys asked me to bring you"

He doesn't look at you and that bothers you more than you are willing to admit. "They didn't come because they were taking care of your boyfriend", he says, clearing his throat, looking awkward.

"Ex"

"What?", his eyes meet yours too quickly making you turn away to avoid his gaze.

"It's ex boyfriend", you answer fidgeting with your fingers.

Of course you didn't break up with him yet but surely no one would hold that against you when he is the one who cheated.

The events of the night suddenly come crashing at you, you feel the tears brimming, so you open the car door getting out the faster you can.

You can't let Hyunjin see you cry, not him or anyone. Not because of that disgusting prick.

"Thanks for the ride, next time I see you coffee's on me", not turning to look at him you walk towards your house.

After getting to the safety of your room you can let your tears run freely. Why would Eric do that? Things were okay between you too, you always tried to be the best girlfriend possible to him, so why?

The pain you feel in your chest makes you feel like you can't breathe, your head is spinning and you just fall to your knees, sitting right there on the floor with not much strength to go to your bed.

You thought he loved you. Is love supposed to feel like this?

You take your phone out of your pocket and see it going off with messages from your friends. You open the group chat:

Chan: Y/N are you alright?

Minho: you shouldn't have come, you were feeling ill all day.

Felix: you were already sick, that asshole just made it worse.

Yeji: do you want us to come over?

Jisung: answer us when you wake up, please.

Ryujin: we already gave him a good beating but just say the word and we can do it again.

Innie: we're worried sick so please don't isolate yourself.

You close your eyes, you have to answer so they won't show up at your house because you know they will if you don't give them a sign that you're alive.

You: hey guys I'm alright, I just really need to sleep my cramps are killing me.

You didn't want to worry them, you knew they would do anything for you and that's enough. You didn't want your friends throwing a pity party because you were cheated on.

You force yourself to move, going to the bathroom and starting the hot water. Slowly you take your clothes off and enter the tub sitting there hugging your legs and thinking about every moment of your relationship, trying to think where it went wrong, did you do something? Did you miss any signs of him being disinterested or anything that could explain his behavior?

You know it's not your fault, of course it isn't. If he thought something was wrong he could have talked with you, if he didn't like you anymore he could break up, why would he break your trust like that?

It all comes back to the same question: why?

After at least 40 minutes you finish showering and get out of the bathroom, drying your hair and wrapping yourself in the fluffiest bathrobe you could find. You make yourself comfortable on the bed and try to get some sleep, at least in your dreams the pain would go away.

•••

You wake up feeling like you were run over by a train and that's because you didn't sleep at all. You woke up half a dozen times and everytime you would feel a moment of peace before your brain remembered what happened, those precious seconds where you felt like everything was okay and then you were miserable again. That's when you started crying again, falling asleep again only when exhaustion took over.

And that same thing repeated itself over and over till it was morning and you just couldn't sleep anymore.

Being sunday you don't have much to distract yourself from your thoughts. You look at the time, it's only seven in the morning.You do all the homework and projects you can think of, even the ones that are due in two months and when you look again it's not even afternoon yet.

You turn on your phone, you had turned it off because even though your friends had asked you not to, all you wanted to do right now was to isolate yourself.

Babe: can we talk?

Babe: I swear I can explain.

You scoff, changing his name. Tears come back to your eyes and the aching pain on your chest becomes stronger.

Jerk: babe, please.

You: fuck off.

Blockcontact

Does he really think he can talk his way out of this situation? You could maybe be tricked if someone had told you about what happened but you saw it with your own eyes, him all over her.

You take a deep breath trying to calm yourself.

You see that some of your friends sent you messages too:

Chaeryeong: heyy? How are you?

Chaeryeong: wanna go shopping? It always lifts your mood.

Chan: if you want to talk, we're here, okay?

There were a lot of similar messages sent by your other friends but you answered them all saying you're okay.

•••

You stare at your reflection in the mirror. Your eyebags are huge and even after putting makeup on it didn't help much. It seems like two nights without sleep are difficult to hide.

So you get dressed and try to look your best, you wouldn't let anyone think you're having a hard time.

You hear the sound of your doorbell, which is weird since it's too early for the mailman to be delivering your correspondence and you're not expecting anyone.

You open the door and find Chan and Felix arguing about something, they stop fighting and look at you when they see you there.

"Good morning", Chan says, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

"Good morning, what are you doing here?"

"We thought it would be nice to have breakfast together and give you a ride after", Felix answers, lifting the box full of doughnuts in his hands.

They were worried, you could see in their eyes even though they were keeping a smile on their face. You should have known that just saying you were alright wouldn't reassure them.

You take a step out of the house, closing the door.

"Let's pick up some coffee then, my treat", you say, walking past them, stopping outside of Chan's car. "The front seat is mine", you say to Felix.

"Fine", he answers pouting.

After getting your well needed coffee, you three eat in the car in the college parking lot. You see Chan and Felix exchanging looks, surely arguing silently about who's going to ask how you're doing.

"Could you guys please stop?", you ask and both look at you like they were caught doing something they are not supposed to.

"What are you talking about?", Felix asks, clearing his throat.

"About the elephant in the room", you smile sadly finishing your coffee. "I'm going to be fine, okay? It's not the end of the world"

It's not your first break up, you know the pain will pass and then you'll remember about it and feel nothing. But for now, knowing that doesn't make it hurt less.

Chan sighs.

"Just tell us if you're having a hard time", he says, "even if you don't want to, talk to us"

You nod, you really do want their support.

"Let's go to class, okay? Our marketing project won't finish itself"

They smile painfully, we hate this class.

•••

It's awkward to be looking for Hyunjin. You got him an Iced Americano to pay up for the ride like you promised.

He's in the art studio looking really focused while painting something, so you don't know if it's okay to interrupt him.

When you enter the room, the door closes after you with a huge noise making him look in your direction.

He stands up too quickly, splashing the paint he has on his hand directly on his upper body, thankfully he's wearing an apron so it doesn't stain his clothes.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you", you say, getting closer.

He gives you a kind smile you didn't expect, "It's okay"

"I just wanted to give you this", you shake the cup in your hand offering it to him, he frowns while taking the drink. "That night I told you coffee would be on me next time, so here it is", you remember him.

"Thanks, you didn't have to", he sips the drink anyway.

"I did", you clear your throat, why are you so nervous? Maybe it's stressful to be nice to him. "You were kind enough to take me home and wait till I woke up, this is the least I can do"

He gives you a smile, sitting on the table next to the easel he was painting on. He keeps staring at you without saying a thing and that does nothing to ease your nerves making you squeeze the straps of your bag.

I should get going, you're ready to say.

"I hope we can be more than just acquaintances", he says finishing his drink.

You almost choke on the air you just inhaled.

"How so?"

He smiles, that pretentious smile you hate so much.

"We have a lot of friends in common, I think it's time to end this animosity between us.

"Should I remind you that you were the one that didn't like me first?", you point it out. It's really funny for him to say those things when he's the one that started this whole thing.

"I never disliked you, you were the one that scoffed at me and rolled your eyes everytime I said anything"

You're offended now, does he want to pretend he's innocent?

"Excuse me? When I had just started hanging out with the guys you were the one that always kept staring at me so intensely I was sure you wanted to kill me", you cross your arms, "I'm really good at taking a cue, I knew you didn't want me there so I just did you a favor and avoided you"

He smiles amused, making you even madder.

"I suppose you're not as good as you think then", he answers.

You roll your eyes, you're not giving him the pleasure of asking to elaborate.

"Anyway, I have class", you turn going to the door.

"What about my request?", he asks before you can reach the handle.

"I'll think about it", you say halfheartedly, you probably won't.

•••

The week went by without much bigger events, you cried in the college bathroom sometimes, then called one of your friends and you went to eat something. You are really grateful that everyone made time for you, they never left you alone so you were always laughing and having fun even though your heart still aches.

On saturday night there was a party in one of the campus frat houses, your friends made sure to invite you and convince you to go.

You were not in the best mood, but you wanted to be strong to show everyone and yourself that Eric didn't affect you.

Waiting for all your friends to get ready was no easy feat, so when you arrived at the party two hours after it started, the house was already crowded.

There were people throwing up, hooking up, jumping in the pool and you could swear you saw someone running... without clothes.

"Want to play truth or dare?", Yeji askes sliding her arm around your shoulder.

You really don't, but you don't want to be a bore.

"Sure", you say, following her to the second floor where you find at least 20 people, including Eric.

Yeji's eyes grow wide.

"Hey, who invited him?", she angrily asks a girl and she shrugs too drunk to even speak a complete sentence.

"I told them to not invite him, I'm sorry", she says anxiously, "we don't have to play, we can go downstairs and dance?"

You wanted to get away from there, you really didn't want to face him. But at the same time you didn't want to run away, he did wrong so he should be the one leaving.

"It's ok, let's play", you say walking towards the circle of people and sitting where there was space for two.

That week you found out that someone filmed Ryujin and Changbin beating the shit out of Eric after you left the party and that made you feel pretty satisfied, knowing someone got your back.

You felt Eric's eyes on you, you knew he wouldn't try anything with your friends close. But he sure could make you uncomfortable by staring.

The game begins, they explain the rules and where it's okay to go with the dares. The bottle is spinning.

You always thought truth or dare is just an excuse for people to make out with someone they want without being rejected.

The guys that weren't playing and are just lurking are serving drinks, so you take a shot of tequila hoping the alcohol will help you relax.

The bottle stops, pointing at you.

"Truth or dare?", they ask you.

"Dare, I guess?", it's obvious that if you answer "truth" they're going to ask why you and Eric broke up and you're not feeling in the mood to tell everyone what happened. They sigh disappointed, people are going to find out eventually but you're not ready to be the one to spread the news.

One of them smiles mischievously and whispers something to the person who's going to give you the dare.

"Seven minutes in heaven with Hwang Hyunjin", they say.

Well, that's better than having to answer a painful truth. You're used to Hyunjin, he's always with your friends so it won't be difficult.You really didn't think much about his request so you're hoping he won't bring it up now.

You two walk into the closet hearing people continuing the game after you close the door.

"How are you?", he asks after some time.

You can't see his face and wonder if he has that same worried expression he had in his car after the whole thing with Eric.

"I'm good", you say. You felt much better in that enclosed place than out there with so many eyes watching. You hear Hyunjin rustling, he's moving closer. He puts his hand on your arm and you flinch.

"Sorry, it's just weird talking without knowing where you are"

You nod even though he can't see you, "it's okay"

It's even more weird for them to talk for more than a minute without starting a fight. Suddenly you have a very bad idea.

"Can you do me a favor?", you're not sure if it's the alcohol kicking in or just you being dumb, maybe both.

"What's it?"

"Can you kiss me?", you say embarrassed, regretting it the moment it leaves your mouth, "you don't have to, it's just... I want to hurt him", you explain.

Hyunjin doesn't say a thing so you're sure he's just going to ignore your request. Then, you feel his fingers sliding up your arms and arriving at your neck soon after he cups your face caressing your cheeks.

You can feel his breathing so close it's inebriating.

"Can I?", he asks for permission even though you were the one who asked him to do it. He probably is giving you a chance to take it back, but you don't want to.

You won't admit it but in that moment you didn't care about your ex, all you cared about was how every place Hyunjin touched was burning and how his warm breath mixed with yours.

You nod again, humming with your eyes already closed. When his lips touch yours it's an explosion of sensations: his lips, his touch, his scent, everything about him is warm. You have to wrap your arms around his neck for some support, because your legs are giving out and his hair feels so good through your fingers you could die. You were feeling that ache sensation in your lower stomach and you knew you had to stop, you couldn't feel that way about him.

The door opens suddenly and you're forced to let go of each other, everyone is watching and they are shocked to say the least, of course, everyone knew about your ongoing feud so they sent you two there to see how long you could last until one of you killed the other.

You finally remember why you asked Hyunjin to kiss you when you see Eric's face, he's angry and hurt. And that's what you were going for but why do you feel so bad? When you look back to Hyunjin he's avoiding your gaze, his lips full of your red lipstick.

Should you talk to him? Should you thank him for the help? Should you tell him that was the best kiss you ever had? You can't say a thing because you're too shocked to even think straight, so you just sit again ignoring Yeji's wide eyes.

You stay there for another 30 minutes before saying goodbye to everyone and leaving the room. Hyunjin is not there anymore, you didn't see when he left, too immersed in your own thoughts to pay attention to anything else.

After leaving Yeji there playing, you go downstairs. Maybe a drink will help you feel better.

Eric didn't try talking to you with your friend there but you don't know if he's going to try when you're alone so it's best to find someone you know.

You get to the first floor, going to the drink's table, you are sure one of your friends is going to be there and you do find Felix talking to a girl you're almost sure is a freshman. You don't want to interrupt his flirting so you just lurk around him tasting some mix of drinks.

You see Chaeryeong across the room, you wave seeing her smiling to you. You down the drink you have in your hands and grab a bottle of water hoping your hangover is not going to be that bad. You go in Chaeryeong direction when you see Hyunjin next to her, he's kissing someone and you can't help stopping in your tracks.

What did you expect? That he would fall for you after a kiss? Of course not and you didn't want that too. You're not sure why you feel so shocked, you just didn't think he would be all over another person right after kissing you. But that's exactly why you don't like him, right? Because he's a player.

He was just doing you a favor, you should thank him at the right moment and that's the end of where your relationship goes.

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