#PLEASE remember to mind the tags and to use the back button if something squicks you or just isn't your style

[strawberryybird]

fic rec list! because i am loud

hello!! welcome to the little rec-list of the things i’ve been reading in my 3h ao3 corner!! i’m making this because i am simply unable to go for 4 1/2 minutes without talking about three houses!! 

the fics on here are just ones that i really enjoyed and so wanted to share! This isn’t an exhaustive list by any means, there’s a few i’m missing out (because I think we’re All waiting with baited breath for the next troubles of the heart huh)

i so wanted to include. everything. But alas this got Long. So this is but a few! I list the rating and the ship here, but please mind any tags and warning listed on the actual fic! (and as always, mind your spoilers!)

(I have a preference towards emotional character-based one shots, and plotty gen long fic. These are just ones that I loved, and I fully encourage people to reblog with fics they loved and keep the train going! Just remember to add the rating and ship, if applicable! you can find more things that i liked on my ao3 bookmarks!! Happy reading!!)

The Cats of Garreg Mach by goldenteaset 

G / n/a | this fic is exactly the thing i was desperate to find in the aftermath of finishing 3h. those off-beat little gen fics about the environment of the world. It’s from the perspective of the cats of Garreg Mach, and is wonderfully done. the sheer amount of atmosphere in this little fic is incredible. The writing felt really light as a contrast to the forthright opinions of the cats! I really enjoyed reading it!! a beautiful piece of creative writing, a complete gem of a fic <3

although the axe is heavy by LuckyDiceKirby 

T / Dorothea/Edelgard/Byleth/Hubert | not to be overly dramatic, but this is my favourite 3h fic I’ve read. The primary plot is exploring Byleth’s perspective as she chooses - and keeps choosing - Edelgard’s path. It’s two parts heart-wrenching to one cup cathartic, and I love the hell out of this fic. Dorothea’s character especially feels so spot on, as does everyone, and the way they all interact is just beautifully crafted. All the little pieces of this fic fall perfectly into place, and the end picture hits me in the crimson flower feelings like nothing else. 

pieces of a heart by thehaakun 

T / Edelgard/F!Byleth | The Angst Is Strong In This One. It’s the moments after Byleth disappears at the battle of Garreg Mach - Black Eagle Bonding time searching for their professor, after Edie says something that broke my entire heart. Humor is how i cope now, because this fic robbed my of my emotions. this is long-winded for ‘it hurt me and i love it deeply for doing so’. The absolute despair this fic captures has been reeling in my head since I read it. It’s that wonderful emotive fanfic style of breaking down the way the text is formatted, and it works emotional wonders. Edelgard’s heartbreak broke MY heart !!!

Fragmented Bonds of Our Old World by Hierarchical 

M / Marianne/Edelgard, Annette/Caspar, more in fic tags | This fic. Oh My Sothis. It’s shaping up to be an absolute powerhouse and I’m waiting with baited breath (and infinite respect for the author, of course) to see where it’s going. (I’m copying my own comment on it oops) The things going on in this fic - fake dating spycraft framed through letter writing, political intrigue, the amazing dive into the overwhelming emotions of Annette in the Eagle Strike Force. I’m already ride or die for this. I’m a literature bitch at heart and the moment Marianne lied to her father over breakfast had me sold on following this fic wherever it goes. I’m so excited to see where it goes, because I’ll follow it forever. (also really really interesting looks at Annette and Edelgard. Really interesting.)

Statuesque by feebop 

T (Eventual E) / Edelgard/Hubert | I left such a loving-ramble comment on this because . i love this fic . so much. The writing is dense, but every single line has another bit of detail and it’s fascinating to read. It’s such an interesting take on Edelgard’s perspective - how she comments on every piece of interest. It builds this brilliant picture of a post-war world and how Edelgard moves through it. The dialogue between Hubert and Edelgard is just wonderful, and the entire fic has little chimes of humour that had me laughing away on public transport. (also features Manuela and Ferdinand’s ending, which is one of my favourites!!) 

The Hands of the Emperor by Abyssia 

T / Hubert/Ferdinand/Edelgard (but you could read as platonic i reckon?)| You know how the game doesn’t really address if Ferdinand knows what his father was complicit in re: Edelgard’s Backstory? This is the fic you’re looking for. The author mentioned Jane Austen as a tone comparison, and that’s a pretty apt description! Lovely, lovely details scattered throughout1 Combine Ferdinand’s Emotions being so well played through, and an Austen-themed writing style, you get this GEM of a fic. 

A Leading Lady's Love by arrslanaltan 

T / Dorothea/Edelgard | i would tell you how much i love this fic, but alas my heart has been overcome with tidal waves of love for it and i can’t possibly do more than sob in the corning, occasionally whispering ‘el is a top.. finally’. I love this fic So Damn Hard. Dorothea is wonderfully written and her voice absolutely shines. It’s a fantastic display of edelthea at it’s finest and I love this fic so much!!!!! SO much!!!!

we could turn the world to gold by softshocks

T / Edelgard/Byleth | I would fell half the universe for this fic. It’s beautifully written, crammed full of wonderful little details and so, so good. It’s set 10 years after CF ends which is something I haven’t seen yet in fic and it’s Wonderful in the highest order. This is a joy to read. I’d have more to say about it but honestly this work speaks for itself. it owned my heart from the outset because it’s a disguised road trip and I Love those v much, and then it turned out to be even better than I dreamed !!

Would That I by Cowboy_Sneep_Dip

G / Edelgard/Ingrid | I have a deeply lodged fascination for Edelgard/Ingrid and it’s this very fic’s fault. The command of language in this fic is fantastic, it’s so well written. Everything feels so visceral and the narrative hits the Perfect notes to make me 7 kinds of emotional about it. This is not a happily resolved fic and I’ve been thinking about it since I read it, because it’s staying so hard in my memory. It’s such a niche look into what a relationship between Edelgard and Ingrid could look like and honestly it hits pitch perfectly. It’s amazing. Genuinely amazing.

pls send my infinite love and respect to all the authors !! and also to ao3 for existing at all because it’s wonderful and i cherish what ao3 gives to the world!! <3

#fic rec #fire emblem three house #fe 3h #long post #PLEASE remember to mind the tags and to use the back button if something squicks you or just isn't your style #!! #i have so much love for the sheer amount of fic in the 3h ao3 already like DAMN we all went gotta go fast #anyway i love all of these fics and they're WONDERFUL #fic rec fire emblem #give me my rare pairs or give me death agsfgaa

[repost-this-image]

PSA FOR TEENAGERS:

1. Do not talk about the stuff that makes you horny around people that you know are over 18. I’m not saying don’t BE horny; you’ve got hormones coursing through your veins saying “Hey, time to start feeling horny at the most embarrassing possible times” and you can’t really turn that off. I’m saying DO NOT discuss fetishes with adults. Do not sext or send naughty pictures of yourself to adults. (Distributing porn of an IRL minor is a felony, even if YOU ARE the minor in question.) Do not request or comission pornographic drawings from an artist. (Distributing porn TO a minor is also a felony.)

I’m not saying this to rain on your parade. I’m saying this because p*dophiles exist on the Internet, and too many members of my generation had to deal with shit they were not old enough to deal with because of said creeps. P*dos will totally act like your best friend as part of the grooming process. Which brings is to point #2:

2. If someone over 20 is romantically interested in people under 17, that person is a predator. You might act very responsible for your age; IDK because i don’t know everyone on this hellsite personally. Doesn’t matter. Anyone who says you’re “so mature for your age” and also expresses romantic or sexual interest in you is grooming you for abuse. Period. End of story.

Remember: They go after underage teens because they want someone easy to manipulate and control. If they wanted a normal relationship on equal footing with their partner, they’d date other adults. (No, age differences between two adults aren’t creepy unless the older partner started grooming the younger before they turned 18. Weird, maybe. Uncomfortable to think about, perhaps. But not predatory the way a 26-y/o going after a 16-y/o is, TRUST ME ON THIS.)

3. Your parents have an obligation to care for and protect you, and to help you learn how to assess risk and protect yourself. Your teacher also takes on those responsibilities while you’re at school. Mandatory reporters are required to tell the authorities if they have reason to believe that you or your peers are being abused in any way. But! No one else is under any obligation to protect you from the world.

Some of us may volunteer to help protect you on an individual basis (like a field-trip chaperone). Some of us may give you information like this post on how to protect yourself. But we’ve also got a lot of our own shit to deal with just trying to live in The Worst Timeline. Not all of us have the time or energy to babysit, and we DEFINITELY don’t have the ability to put foam padding on the entire Internet so you don’t encounter anything that might upset or disturb you. It’s just way too fucking big. There were hundreds of TB of Internet 20 years ago when I was your age; imagine how much more huge it’s gotten since then.

So how do you deal with going to a webpage that makes you uncomfortable? Simple. Have a moment to cringe and say “OH DEAR GOD WHY,” if you like. Then hit the Back button and go look at pictures of kittens or something to get your mind off the Squick.

DO:

Block tags that disturb or gross you out on fandom and social-media sites, so you’re less likely to get a nasty surprise. This is exactly what the ability to block tags was invented for. :)

Being disgusted, feeling uncomfortable or unsafe, suck but they are not the same as having your PTSD triggered. Please don’t use the word “trigger” for stuff that just grosses you out; that trivializes the actual trauma of PTSD sufferers. Just say “that makes me uncomfortable.” Please. As someone who’s flinched from innocuous shit my husband does because of how bad my dad fucked me up, I AM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU.

If an adult starts creeping on you, say “I’m underage and don’t feel comfortable with this. Please stop.” If they don’t, then take screenshots in case you need them for legal evidence, and BLOCK THEM IMMEDIATELY after that. Don’t even fucking respond; they’ve already ignored your boundaries by persisting, and that means that they are dangerous.

DON’T:

Agree to meet anyone online that you don’t know IRL without your parents being there. If they don’t want your parents around, that is a HUGE red flag.

Put personally-identifying information on public webpages. Your age; your last name; your phone number; the town you live in; even your first name if it’s unusual enough. These are tools that Nasty People can use to find you. Make it as hard as possible for them to do so.

Hate on people for shipping characters you don’t ship. It would be an abusive relationship? They know; they can handle that because fictional characters aren’t real and can’t really get hurt. It’s not canon? Doesn’t matter; part of the fun of being a fan of something is imagining “What if?” One of them died 100 years before the other was even born? Does. Not. Matter. It’s fiction; they are not interfering in the real lives of real people by shipping. Don’t intimidate, harrass, or threaten someone for wanting to imagine 2 characters kissing that you personally wouldn’t want to imagine kissing each other.

Insist that someone who has tagged a fanwork as “That Thing That You Hate The Most,” take down the fanwork because it contains That Thing You Hate. They put a warning label on it. If you ignore warning labels, bad things happen; you wouldn’t ignore a DO NOT DRINK label on a bottle of household cleaner, so don’t ignore tag warnings. They are there to protect your mind, just like the DO NOT DRINK on the bleach bottle is there to protect your body. Just say “OMG WHY” to yourself, hit Back, and find something better to look at. Don’t view that fanwork; don’t leave a comment on the fanwork; just Walk. Away.

Don’t make callout posts that have images of The Exact Shit You’re Warning About in them. You’re just exposing more people to the same shit that offended, disgusted, or outright PTSD-triggered you! Don’t do that to people, guys. I’ve seen way more Disturbing Shit in callout posts than I have elsewhere at this point, and I read weird fansmut as a hobby, so that’s saying a LOT. Please, please stop exposing us to that stuff!!!

#for teens #internet safety #cw csa #tw p*do mention #tw csa mention #learn from my mistakes

[gandrewheadcannons]

Drabble 1 (angst) (open ended)

I wrote a drabble that’s angsty like I’ve been recently. 

Andrew doesn’t wish often for things. He prides himself on being reasonable. Pragmatic. He’s meticulously organized and often not caught up in frivolous thoughts that would have him desiring for something he could just create with a well-thought-out plan to achieve. He lived very much by the notion of ‘if you want it, go for it’ and liked that about himself. It kept him grounded, kept him level headed. Made it so he could breathe easier when he was anxious. If he stayed far away from wishing then he had less to add to his mix of doubt and insecurities. But right now, very out of character, he found himself sitting alone at two o’clock in the morning wishing.

Ryland had stopped filming hours ago and Shane had retreated to the editing room to work. Andrew had declined working in the same room as him feeling squicked by the copious amount of lip gloss Shane had been smearing across his mouth. He was left to his own devices in the spare bedroom when a picture had appeared across his twitter feed that had stopped him in his tracks. It was an old photo of him and Garrett, something someone had screen grabbed from a video where Garrett’s eyes are twinkling and Andrew’s got a soft smile as he stares at the boy. The person had tagged them both and added a message of ‘soft bois’ with a bunch of emoji hearts. It had been shared and liked a good number of times but it wasn’t the picture itself that had him stopping. He’d seen it so many times that at this point it didn’t surprise him to see the way he was watching Garrett in it.

No, what had him stopping was the top tweet underneath it that read, ‘Im sad they don’t seem to hang anymore…used to ship but now I hope Garrett finds people who can appreciate him. The squad definitely doesn’t’ That tweet had almost as many likes as the original, a list of people agreeing. He hesitates to click the profile and then decides against it, exiting Twitter completely and then opening his messages and scrolling to find the conversation with Garrett. It had been a few weeks since they’d texted and Andrew feels a bubble of guilt building in his stomach fluttering amidst something else that Andrew realizes is desire. He misses Garrett. He could easily admit that to anyone who asked. He didn’t to see him as much now that Shane had moved and Andrew spent the majority of his time here. But what he wasn’t sure that he was so readily able to admit would be the fact that, even though it’s just a brief moment, he wishes more than anything that Garrett was there with him.

Looking around the guest room it feels lonely and isolating with the glow of his phone and computer screen the only lights. Biting the corner of his thumb nail he hesitates as he figures out what to send. It was late and though he knew Garrett was awake he found himself, for one of the first times in their friendship, unsure of how to start a conversation with him. Thinking back to the horoscope Shane had read him he blushes despite being alone with his intrusive thoughts. He knew he adored Garrett. Had always done so from the moment they’d met in person and Garrett had shared his cold brew and spoke excitedly about a puppy he’d seen on the way to meet him.

Garrett was his go to guy for any anxieties he might have, his favorite person to get lost with in conversations, but he seemed so far away as of late. He hadn’t wanted to be a part of the series this time. Had explained it softly to them back in February that he’d rather take time for himself and to be with his family. It had felt like a slow bandaid being pulled achingly from Andrew’s side; the comfort of laughter and ease not being present in the long days of filming for the past nine months. He was tired.

Bypassing the messaging all together he bites the bullet and hits the call button, the screen enlarging with buttons and ‘calling G’ scrolling across the top. He’s about ready to hang up and send an apology text with each uwhen all of a sudden Garrett picks up. It’s loud in the background of wherever he is. Andrew hates that he doesn’t know.

“Hey!” Garrett’s voice shouts loudly. “Give me a minute, I’m trying to go outside.” There’s clinking of glasses and someone shouting as music suddenly blares and then it all fades into a quiet hum like something pulled from a movie. “Sorry!” Garrett sounds breathless and laughs a little. “It’s wild in there. What’s up? Are you okay?” His voice going from laughter to concern, the volume lowering into a normal speaking tone with Garrett’s quick pacing sprinkled into the tone.

“I’m good.” Andrew already feels the constricting in his chest lightening some. “Where are you?” A nervous laugh bubbling over and spilling between his lips as he says, “it’s like…way past a Garrett Watts approved party time.” Garrett lets out a manic laugh and Andrew finds himself craving to see the reaction in person.

“Oh I know! It’s so silly. I really did want to leave like three hours ago but now I’m kind of stuck because I got too drunk to drive back home.” Andrew can detect a hint of slurring to confirm the statement. A drunk Garrett was one of his favorite versions; overly tactile and honest with whoever he was with. Andrew could do with a hug.

“Are you okay? You want a ride?” Being forty minutes away was a stretch of an offer but Andrew found that he was up and walking towards his shoes. He’d drive it if it meant spending one night with Garrett.

“Oh Andrew that’s so sweet!” Garrett coos, “I’m really okay, it’s fine. You’re probably at Shane’s anyways?” Andrew hates that he’s so predictable now. Misses when he was only down the street.

“Yeah I am.” He sighs. From his window he can see one of the driveways with his car in it. “I don’t mind, Garrett. I can come.” He presses further. Garrett makes a booing sound and laughs again.

“It’s fine!” Then he drops his voice. “Actually, can I tell you something?” He trails off like he’s to giddy to contain the giggles that erupt. “It’s so crazy, Andrew. But oh!” He lets out another nervous laughter. “I kind of…maybe met someone.” He’s breathless, slurring together the last of his words into one quick session.

“What?” Andrew feels blank. Garrett had met someone. It wasn’t like this was different. Garrett had met so many people and Andrew had picked him up from countless of dates that hadn’t gone well but the last he’d heard; Garrett wasn’t interested in dating anyone. “Like…a someone?” His throat feels painfully scratchy like if he speaks any louder his hammering heart might claw its way up it and out through his mouth. Pitiful. The best way to describe himself in the moment.

“Yeah!” Garrett is whispering. “His name is Ron. We didn’t even meet through Tinder I just like… kept seeing him at the same diner as me at the same time and we ended up eating together a few times. I thought we were just friends but it turns out he thought we were on a few dates!” Garrett laughs. “I pretty much suck at this.” He admits but he doesn’t sound as despondent as he normally would with the statement. In fact, he sounds more amused.

“Wow.” He’s stilted in his commentary. The hopeful feeling that had warmed his body was slowly drained and replaced with something akin to regret. “How…uh.” He clears his throat annoyed that he feels like crying. “How long?” He wants Garrett to say a week. Wants him to say that he doesn’t think it’ll go anywhere.

“A few months,” Garrett says hastily. “I dunno. We aren’t like…it’s not super serious. But I really like him.” He’s enraptured as he says it.

Nine months of almost no time together save the odd weekday coffee now and then had Garrett in a relationship with someone for more than just a week. Andrew is definitely going to be sick.

“That’s great,” It isn’t. Nothing feels great. Andrew wants to hang up the phone. “Hey, actually, I have to go.” He tries to not let his disappointment seep through his gritted teeth. Garrett doesn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of his regret.

“Oh.” Garrett's disappointed. “Are you sure?” Andrew doesn’t want to. Wants to stay on the phone with him for hours. Wants to lay on his brown leather couch and watch an obscure western Garrett had found on Vimeo. Wants to drink English breakfast tea as they watch the sun rise because they’d stayed up too late make stupid videos he’d saved into a special file on his hard drive.

“Yeah man, I didn’t know you were out and stuff.” He doesn’t want to be that guy, unsure if he means the one who keeps a friend on the phone during a party or the one who is desperate for that friend to pity him enough to do it anyways. He’s not sure he cares that he’s both.

“I don’t mind, Andrew.” Garrett sounds surprisingly sober all of a sudden. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Andrew nods then remembers that Garrett can’t see him through the phone.

“Yeah.” He lets out a breath to loosen the constricting around his throat. Please stay with me threatens to pour out but he manages to keep it contained. They’re quiet.

“Megan Batoon get another boyfriend?” He knows Garrett is joking but it’s that comment that has him realizing why Garrett had gone and found someone knew. The slight under bite coupled with the reminder that Andrew wasn’t supposed to be interested in Garrett like that.

“No boyfriend.” He can’t bring the joke to life either. “Not her at least.” It falls flat. The noise from the background is completely gone now and Andrew wishes for the distraction of it back. He can hear Garrett’s breathing through the phone, heavy puffs like he’s starting up to say something then thinking better of it. Before Andrew can continue and apologize for whatever weird, standoffish twist their conversation had taken he hears someone calling Garrett’s name in the background. There’s a shuffle and then hushed tones before Garrett is back on the phone.

“Hey man.” He clicks his tongue disappointed. “I gotta go but maybe we can meet up for coffee sometime soon? Catch up.” He doesn’t sound like he had before. Sounds like he’s making an obligation to save whatever it is they have.

“Yeah.” Andrew wants so badly for that to happen and for them to climb back into each other’s space. “I really want to.” He knows it’s just a formality at this point. He only has a few weeks before the first episode drops. Coffee soon was looking like November if they both really tried.

“Cool! Yeah, that’d be good. Talk to you later,” Garrett doesn’t hang up quite yet, like he’s waiting. “Love you.” He tacks on as if he’s embarrassed to be saying it. It’s rushed.

“Love you.” Andrew’s slides out easily as if it was simple. A phrase both of them accustomed to saying. It shouldn’t be so hard. The phone goes quiet and when Andrew finally grows the will to pull it down from his ear it’s just his home screen. His heart sinks at the lack of Garrett.

Sadness envelops him like a blanket as he curls deep into the crevice of the bed with his hood pulled tightly up. Steering clear of Twitter he opens up Netflix on his phone and tries to fall asleep to an episode of The Office, Michael Scott’s antics soothing his mind. His dreams filled with images he can’t recall being real or not, Garrett’s name on the edge of his tongue; a sloshing wave of regret in his stomach. He makes a promise to himself then- no more wishing allowed, developing a plan to fix them before the year was up. It was what he did.

#gandrew #drabble 1 #angst drabble #open ended drabble #i might continue it if people wantedddd #i'm just in a mood lol #hope u enjoy ;)

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Kidge Parent HC Part 2.4

Holy crow I was hoping to get this done a lot sooner than I did but it’s here now! The next part will probably take even longer since it’s going to be going over the family dynamic as a whole, how the kids bounce off of one another, their interests and personalities, etc., as well as me wanting to get some more fics out before then so I hope you’ll all stick around for it!

Also, I’ll hopefully be uploading a newer, better schedule for my stories/ projects later today, so there’s that. :3

Kidge Married Pre-Babies: [here]

Kidge w/ Babies Part 2.1: [here]

Kidge w/ Babies Part 2.2: [here]

Kidge w/ Babies Part 2.3: [here] *There’s a little angst in this one, FYI

Also, note taken from the start of Part 2.1, but:  Forewarning that there will be some mentions of Allurance in all these parts, but I’m not tagging it because they aren’t given any real focus. Additionally, since I know some of this stuff can squick some people out, warning that there will be somewhat-detailed talk about pregnancy, birth, and what exactly comes in the early stages with a newborn so please be wary if such things make you uncomfortable.

Small Notes I Forgot to Mention Last Time:

Oliver’s full name is Oliver Maxwell Kogane. His middle name is actually a suggestion from Colleen; Maxwell was the name Colleen and Samuel had settled on when they were expecting Pidge if she had been born a boy. I originally planned for his middle name to be Samuel, after Pidge’s dad and I think I referred to him as such once in a fic?? but I changed my mind on that.

Also, the onesie they brought him home in was gray with a tiny robot on it that read “I like pushing buttons”.

The Fourth Baby

So, Keith and Pidge had agreed that Oliver was going to be their last, but that isn’t exactly how it plays out. Oliver had just turned a year old a few weeks prior, Kaden’s third birthday was right around the corner, and Amber would be turning seven in October. Pidge realizes that her period is late and has a sinking suspicion as to why, but also doesn’t want to jump the gun. After two weeks pass, she picks up a few tests and they all come back positive.

She’s not surprised and is pretty happy, but she’s also really worried how Keith and the kids will take the news. Oliver – obviously – doesn’t remember all the trouble from his own birth and Kaden was too little to really remember, but Amber and Keith certainly do.

Amber actually went for about two weeks where she had nightmares about losing her Mommy and ended up joining Keith and Pidge in their bed. They had considered getting her into therapy, but after they started seriously talking about it the nightmares tapered off so they decided to hold off, not really sure of what would be the best option for her. It’s been over a year since the last time she did that, but Pidge worries that this will kick it all up for her and send her anxieties back up to max.

Pidge decides to breach the subject when they’re cleaning up after dinner that night. Surprisingly, all three kids take the news extremely well. She’s especially pleased with how happy Amber is at the idea of having another little sibling to look after, helping to curb some of Pidge’s anxiety. Keith, however, does not take it well. He turns and straight-up leaves the house for the night, heading off in the Black Lion for parts unknown.

Amber and Kaden are a bit worried about Keith’s reaction, while Oliver is blissfully unaware of what’s going on.

*Kaden, standing on tip-toes to put his cup in the sink.* “Mommy, is Daddy angry?”

“Daddy’s a little upset but it’ll be okay.” *Said with a small sigh, picking up a plate and scrubbing it clean.*

“Is he upset about the new baby?” *Amber, taking the cleaned plate and putting it in the dishwasher.*

“It’s… complicated, sweetheart.”

“Does Daddy not love the new baby?”

*Pidge, freezing and looking down at Amber in alarm at the question. Amber meets her gaze, refusing to shy away despite how uncomfortable she is with the thought.* “… No, Amber, that’s not it. Daddy is just… very scared. And sometimes when Daddy gets scared he goes away for a little bit to think things through.”

The kids stop asking question after that. They finish cleaning up from dinner, Pidge gets them all settled into bed, and goes to lie down herself. She doesn’t fall asleep, just kinda lays there and lets her mind reel through all the different responses she could get from Keith. She lays there for about two hours before she hears footsteps on the stairs.

She doesn’t say anything when he opens the door and slips inside, heading to the bathroom and getting ready for bed as quietly as he can. He slips in beside her and pulls her flush against him. She twists in his arms so that she’s facing him, settling one hand on his shoulder and the other on the side of his face. He closes his eyes and leans into her touch.

“Do you feel a little better now? Had a chance to cool down?”

“I’m… Yeah. I wasn’t angry, you know.”

“I know that, but the kids didn’t, and it was hard explaining to them. Especially Amber… She asked a really difficult question.”

*He shifts to lean his forehead against hers and sighs.* “I swear, she’s too sharp… What did she ask?”

“She asked if you weren’t going to love this baby like you love them.”

*Keith’s eyes snap open and he looks absolutely mortified, which Pidge had been kind of expecting.* “Jesus, I… I may not be exactly thrilled right now, but I would never-! I… I’m worried and scared about what could happen, but that doesn’t mean I won’t love the baby… Did I really make that much of a scene when I left?”

“It’s less making a scene and more that the kids aren’t really used to that side of you, I think. They’re more used to their happy, goofy Daddy and the occasionally stern Daddy. A Daddy that’s really upset and needs to walk away, though? Not really something you’ve had to do much in front of them. They don’t know what an impulsive little shit you used to be.” *Pidge is gentle as she speaks, moving to wrap her arms around him and give him a few quick pecks between words to help soothe him, and grows a bit more playful at her last statement.*

“Keith chuckles quietly.* “You know, I seem to remember somebody else who used to be pretty impulsive when they were younger… Name stared with a ‘P’ and ended with an ‘Idge’, I believe.”

“I’m afraid that I, Katie, have never met this person.”

“…”

“…”

“Oh, you are such a little sneak!” *Keith says, but he’s laughing, so she considers it progress.*

They have a long talk about the whole thing and agree that they have every intention of seeing this through. Keith does, however, insist that if Pidge feels like anything about the pregnancy feels weird or drastically different that she make sure to tell him. He literally doesn’t care about the medical expenses they might accrue; he’ll rush her to the ER over anything this time around if it prevents an incident like they had with Oliver.

The next morning they wake up to Amber and Kaden both flopped over on top of Keith. They were worried that their Daddy was sad so they came in to cuddle the happy back into him. Keith sits and talks with them and explains things as best he can while Pidge goes and gets Oliver out of his crib in his own room.

The Altea Clan finds out about the pregnancy first, due to Pidge and Keith inquiring as to whether Allura can keep the Castle on Earth for an extended period of time. Due to Allura’s diplomacy training from her youth, Lance’s natural charisma, and Coran’s wealth of knowledge, the three of them have been travelling the galaxy helping to maintain the coalition and spread peace even further; it’s also a good way, in Allura’s opinion, to teach their children how to be proper diplomats too. Allura is immediately tickled at them having another child and explains they’d been planning to take a little break to spend more time with Lance’s family on Earth, seeing as the kids have been wanting to spend more time with their extended family, so having the Castle Ship at a moment’s notice won’t be an issue. This is a huge relief to Keith, as his biggest concern is making sure that Pidge and the baby are safe.

Hunk and Shiro find out shortly after them. Hunk echoes a lot of the same concerns that Keith had – complications and risks for Pidge and the baby – but also assures that he’ll be as supportive as ever. Shiro agrees that so long as they’re both okay with it than he’s happy for them. They’re both further settled by the fact that Allura and the Castle Ship will also be nearby, just in case.

After that they tell Krolia and the Holts. Krolia and Colleen are both thrilled at the idea of another little grandbaby to dote on, Samuel seems a bit concerned but is also extremely supportive, while Matt voices that he thinks it’s a bad idea, even with the Castle Ship around just in case, but agrees to support them. This irritates Pidge a bit but she opts against making a scene at the time, simply because she doesn’t need the stress.

So, what does Pidge get in the way of symptoms this time around? She gets really, really mild nausea – like, to the point where it only seems that certain foods trigger it – as well as less severe moods swings. Other than that, the only thing that’s really different, is that her sex drive is a little more kicked up this pregnancy. But even that is fixed by sleepovers with their grandparents. ;3c

Other little tidbit; because they are serious about this being their last baby, Keith gets a vasectomy pretty shortly after they find out Pidge is pregnant. Vasectomies are significantly less invasive procedures than having the Fallopian tubes tied off, has a faster turn-around rate from surgery to full recovery, and they can nip any potential other pregnancies in the bud before they’re even possible. Another reason they take care of it as soon as they do is because Keith does need to have a good few days of taking it easy since he’ll be tender down there, and Pidge needs to still be well enough to look after the kids and help him as best he can.

Colleen and Sam help out by taking the kids for an overnight visit the first night after the procedure, which helps Pidge out in regards to prioritizing where her attention should be, since their kids are extremely energetic little stinkers and would make it way harder in the immediate.

So, back to the situation with the new baby!

Pidge’s due date this time around is in early-to-mid December. Keith points out this means they’ll have a baby for all seasons, which makes Pidge laugh.

This baby is a bit different from their siblings in regards to settling down. When this one starts kicking and shifting around, they only seem to calm down when someone starts humming/ singing at them. Pidge usually just hums, because it’s a bit easier, but Keith will actually lean close to Pidge’s belly and gently serenade the new baby. And when Pidge is at home with the older kids, Amber and Kaden will put on little concerts to try and help soothe their baby sibling. It never works, since it’s more a cacophony of noise with them, but Pidge still finds it ridiculously sweet so she never tells them the truth.

They are informed that they’ll be having a little girl this time around! Amber is wildly excited about this while Kaden is a little disappointed. Pidge is pleased because she’s been of the opinion that they needed a little less testosterone in the house.

They have another family meeting to determine how to proceed with things involving the new baby, specifically to discuss room theme. Pidge is taking a nap at the time since she had to have blood drawn at her doctor’s appointment that day and the nurse that did it was new and had trouble finding a vein, so she’s feeling a little worn out.

*Amber, clearing her throat and calling the meeting to order.* “Today, we must decide what Baby Sister’s room is going to look like! This is a very important matter, right, Daddy?”

“Oh, absolutely.” *Keith, chuckling a bit as he settles in between the boys, Oliver fiddling with the junk mail on the table.*

“I think we should do something about when she’s gonna be here! Playing in the snow is really fun, and I’m sure that playing with Bbay Sister is gonna be really fun, so we have to do something for both!”

“I got an idea! Her room should be about Christmas!” *Kaden, all big eyes and excitement, flailing one hand in the air wildly.*

*Amber, flashing him a bland look.* “She’s not gonna be born on Christmas, though.”

*Kaden, pouting and crossing his arms.* “But she’s gonna be born near Christmas!”

“Not close enough!”

“Yeah huh!”

“Nuh uh!”

*Oliver suddenly shrieks and slams his hand down on a magazine that came in the mail, silencing the argument and Keith’s preparation to chime in.* “Twee!”

*Keith chuckles and leans over to look at the magazine.* “You’re getting so good with words, buddy! That is… a… tree…”

The picture that Oliver had been talking about was of a scenic, snowy ski resort. Pidge and Keith went one year for their anniversary – before the kids – and been automatically enrolled in their subscription. They normally just tossed them out, but Keith had wanted to see if they’d received the notice on when Amber’s next dentist appointment was from her dentist and hadn’t purged the junk yet. And he is suddenly given an excellent idea that will appease both kids.

They agree on a “Winter Wonder” theme for the new baby’s room, giving it the winter theme that Amber had wanted, with the agreement that during December they can hang some tinsel and little ornaments so that they can still have a Christmas-y feel like Kaden wanted. And it’s painted to look like a snowy forest, because of Oliver’s input, too.

Painting the room and putting everything together is done by Keith, Shiro, Hunk, Matt, Amber and Kaden. Oliver waddles around in his little walker and just kinda shouts random words he remembers at everyone as he works. Hunk claims this is his way of offering moral support. Pidge thinks the whole thing is a ridiculously adorable spectacle.

The onesie they pick out for Baby Girl is white with a yellow trim and a pastel pink unicorn on the front. It also has the text “I’m Secretly a Unicorn” on it.

Pidge’s water breaks and she starts getting contractions in the afternoon on December 7th. The Holts had been over visiting so they agree to stay in the lobby with the kids while Keith and Pidge are in Labor and Delivery. Pidge is actually only in labor for four hours, with everything goes extremely quick and complication free. Officially at 4:44 P.M., Aria Emma Kogane gets to join the family!

They pick the name Aria because it means “Solo Melody” and she’s had a clear passion for music since she was in the womb. They pick the name Emma as her middle name because it means “Universal” and they see her as the final little planet to make the universe of their family complete.

In regards to appearance, Aria is a little bit of an oddball compared to her siblings. Unlike the older three, who all inherited Keith’s black hair, Aria ends up with the same sandy blonde as Pidge. She ends up having bright green eyes, however. Green eyes are typically caused by a mutation in the genes, and are among the rarest natural eye colors. Then again, since this is a fictional world with radical eye colors, the likelihood is probably just a bit higher, I think. Other than that, she gets a lot of Pidge’s facial features – button nose and eye shape and heart-shaped face - but Keith’s complexion.

Everyone gets to come in and meet her at once this time, due to that Paladin Privilege and the fact that the delivery was complication free. Since Amber’s big enough, she actually gets to hold Aria herself and let’s out the most excited muffled squeal in the world. Keith helps Kaden take his turn with holding her, and Oliver just kinda lightly pokes Aria’s cheek as his sign of acceptance. Everyone in the family gets a turn to hold her, and Colleen brought her a gray-purple baby blanket to be bundled up in, though Matt ends up kinda hogging her. Pidge gives him the biggest, stinkiest “And YOU Thought She Was a Bad Idea, You Fucking Twit” look that history has ever and will ever know.

Only one day is spent in the hospital before Pidge and Aria are allowed to go home. Since everything was smooth sailing this time around, the whole move goes a lot smoother than it did when Pidge had Oliver.

So what exactly do they get with their latest bundle of joy?

Aria is an anomaly in the Kogane lineage in more ways than just her physical appearance. She’s a pretty typical baby, though a bit less fussy than most. She’s a really mellow little baby, a lot like Kaden, but she loves to make cooing noises almost all the time. Like, if she needs something, she’s much more likely to make these little warbling cooing noises to alert Keith and Pidge that she wants/ needs something than to cry, which is desperately different from Oliver who seemed to scream just for the sport of it.

Despite being born in the winter, she hates snow. Like, Keith and Pidge take the kids for a little walk in late-January/ early-February, just to get out of the house for a bit and let them burn off some energy, and everything’s going fine until Keith tugs back the little canopy of Aria’s stroller so that she can see better. A snowflake ends up landing on her nose while she’s looking around and Aria. Fucking. Loses it. Pidge and Keith are scrambling to cheer her back up, to quell the tears and get her back to her usual happy baby self, but nope. She is Done. She has drawn a line in the sand and it has been crossed and no one shall have peace now.

Which leads into another aspect of Aria; she’s actually much more sensitive than her parents or siblings. Or, rather, I guess it’d be better to say that she’s a bit more open about her hurt once she’s upset and doesn’t typically use anger or outrage as a mask. She’s very easy to scare, very quick to tears, and takes a lot of time to calm back down.

This wouldn’t be a problem if not for the fact that Oliver is the Universe’s Most Ludicrous Lil’ Shit.

Because of how their birthdays fall, Oliver is about 21 months older than Aria. So when his second birthday rolls around, she’s just barely over three months. Pidge and Keith hadn’t considered that this age gap would be an issue, since it’s very similar to the one between Kaden and Oliver and those two never really kicked up a fuss. The problem they encounter is that Oliver tends to gravitate towards Pidge a bit more and doesn’t like that a majority of her attention is given to Aria instead.

For a few weeks, Oliver just makes life miserable in the house. He is constantly finding ways to antagonize Aria when she’s just plopped around somewhere doing baby things. Finally, Keith decides to put a stop to this nonsense himself and takes Oliver with him on his walks and it actually goes really well, though I’ll elaborate on that a little more in the next part.

Much like when she was in the womb, singing or humming can help calm Aria back down once she’s startled, but it still takes a decent amount of time.

So, her first genuine smile goes to Pidge but Keith gets to her first word. Her first laugh, though? The honor of this actually goes to neither of her parents this time, but to Shiro! He had agreed to come over to help Keith with trimming the tree in the backyard, because some of the branches are too big for the kids to help him remove, and he offered to hold Aria for Keith because Oliver just ran by cackling like mad, wrapped up in toilet paper covered in bright orange glitter paint, and Pidge is adamant that it’s his turn to corral the feral child.

*Shiro, cradling Aria in his good arm, being careful because she’s a little squirmy and whiny.* “Never a dull moment around here, huh? And soon enough you’re going to add to some of that chaos, huh?”

*Aria just stares up, opening her mouth to let out a little coo in answer, her squirming stopping just a little bit.*

“Oh, you’re just such a sweet little girl. I’m sure you’re going to have a lot of people interested in you someday. Going to make Daddy work to keep them away from you, huh, little girl?” *Shiro’s teasing then lightly pokes her little nose with one of the fingers from his prosthetic hand.*

*Aria reaches up, grabs onto his prosthetic and pulls it herself with a big grin.*

*Shiro laughs and lightly pinches the pudge under her chin.* “Oh, do you want to play? Is that why you were all fussy a minute ago?”

*Aria’s mouth gets really wide and the most delicate, adorable little laugh ever erupts from her. Keith freezes in the doorway to the kitchen/living room, a struggling Oliver tucked under one arm, and Pidge freezes in cutting the sandwiches she made for the kids for lunch. Shiro, unaware that this is the first time she’s laughed, remains completely oblivious and keeps quietly chatting at her.*

“Uncle Shiro, you made her laugh! She’s never done that before!” *Kaden chiming in from his spot at the kitchen table.*

*Shiro, wide-eyed as he looks from Pidge to Keith back down to the still giggling infant in his arms.* “I… I made her laugh for the first time…” *Getting a little choked up because making a baby laugh? That is something to be proud of.*

During the winter season, Aria never goes with Keith on his morning walks because, as started before, she doesn’t do snow. But once it gets warmer out and there’s no snow, she actually really likes to go along. Normally, it’s Keith with Amber, Kaden and Aria out on the walks, but sometimes all four kids go with.

Aria is the most enthusiastic of all the kids about stuffed animals, and is normally dragging at least five of them around with her wherever she goes. Her favorite, though, is a green brontosaurus that she has named Muffin. Keith got a whole set for the kids shortly after Aria was born so that they’d all have a dinosaur toy and she just kinda… Became ridiculously attached.

Aria ends up with only a couple of nicknames, unlike Amber and Kaden who both see a pretty generous amount, but more than Oliver, who ends up with, like, two. Her most common nickname that basically everyone uses is “Ari”, which is pretty obvious. Keith and Pidge also call her “Song Bird” as she gets older and her passion for music becomes more and more prominent. The Holts call her “Sweet Pea” a lot, which Krolia later ends up picking up on, and Shiro playfully calls her “Favorite Niece whose name starts with an A and ends with a Ria.”

Okay, this part is done! Next time we get to the really fun stuff; Pidge and Keith with their full family and all the insanity that comes with it!

#crumbles grumbles #half baked headcanons #Official tag that I'll be adding to the previous entries/ future posts #Keidge #Kidge #Peith #Kidgemas

[grotesquegabby]

Papa Cecilio

finally I’m writing this. I wrote a future vision scene where Lennie got to meet the guy and now its finally happening. 

@clownsgobeepbeep @post-itpenny tagging you cause your clowns are involved uwu

Lennie had the day off, but as Jelly was busy with work he decided to take a walk in the park. He hadn’t done that since Pierre had run into him there the last time. Which had...deterred him from going back for quite a while. 

The day was beautiful, bright and sunny. A few white clouds gently passing overhead. As Lennie took his walk, music could be heard throughout the park along with the laughter of children. Perhaps a carnival was going on today. But there was no sign of one, maybe it was the icecream truck passing through the park. That always got kids excited. Lennie thought to himself, if he happened to pass by. He’d grab one for himself. The closer he got back to the gates of the park, the louder the music and children got. Up ahead he could see balloons of many colors, and children gathered around a tall clown. Lennie squinted a bit due to the sun in his eyes, but he swore he recognized the clown from somewhere. But where? He was a few feet away when finally a few clouds rolled over the sun. Letting Lennie see some more. The clown happened to look up and smile when he saw Lennie. He handed all the balloons away to the kids, “Alright kiddos run along. Old Cecilio has to take care of something.” Some of the kids whined. “Now now no need to whine, I’ll be back tomorrow. Remind your parents.” With that they all ran off. Cecilio walked over to Lennie, while he was lost in thought. “Wow....You’re all grown up.” Lennie looked up at him surprised, “What?” “I’ve been gone way too long.” He bent down and placed his gloved hand on top of Lennie’s head, “I missed so much.” Cecilio sighed then smiled, “but I’m so glad you’re alive.” Lennie was confused, “What....Who are you?” He frowned, “What you don’t recognize your old man? Wait your sniffer isn’t the best that’s why. But you gotta recognize my scent a little bit, right?” Lennie was very confused. Yes his nose wasn’t very good at picking up scents but there were subtle things it could detect. Deep down he knew he recognized this clown. “I should probably tell you my name huh. Cecilio the Jokester~ at your service.” He stood up then gave an exaggerated bow. “And you are~” he motioned to Lennie to introduce himself. 

“um.....” Lennie was a bit at a loss for words. His dad was dead, that’s what Thyone told him and he told Billy. She said she killed him. Was she lying? “Lennie....” Cecilio made a go on motion. “Lazy Lennie...” Lennie flushed from embarrassment. this encounter felt a little awkward on his part. “Did you name yourself that, or did your brother give you that name?” “uh I..my brother gave it to me. I like it though.” Lennie stated not wanting some stranger to judge it harshly. It was quiet for a moment. “I don’t think I can take this any longer.” mumbled Cecilio. Before Lennie could react he was picked up quickly and pulled into a tight hug. “Oh my gosh I’ve been wanting to meet you for the longest time. I’m so happy you have no idea. Your mother is such a bitch, I just....eeeeeee” He squealed in delight much to Lennie’s surprise. “I know what would make this better. Let’s go get your brother!” Cecilio tucked Lennie under his arm like a sack of potatoes. “What?!” shouted Lennie, “What are you doing? Le-Let me go!” “Come on lets go!” And so Cecilio ran off to find Billy.

Meanwhile Billy was in yet another boring meeting. His temper though he had been working on it, was getting the best of him. He was ready to slaughter everyone in the room. That is till the door burst open. And a voice called out, “Sir I am so sorry I tried to stop him. I saw he h-had your brother but I just...” “Leave.” Was all Billy said in response. “Ye-yes sir.” They gave a bow and quickly left. Cecilio was grinning ear to ear by now, “You look exactly how I remember.” Billy pinched the bridge of his nose and then glared, “Who the hell are you?” “oh my~ He has a temper just her.” Cecilio chuckled, “Well, I’m here to take you out. Lets go!” Billy stood up and backed up as Cecilio stepped forward, “What the hell are you talking about. Do not touch me!” He looked over to see Lennie under one of his arms. “Why do you have my brother? Release him!” Lennie gulped, “Billy calm down for a sec.” Cecilio grabbed Billy and he ended up under his other arm. Arms tightly kept in place so he couldn’t try anything. “Let me go now! I will devour you, Fool!!” he started cursing in another language none of the humans could understand. “Well damn you have quite the mouth on you!” laughed Cecilio, “We’re doing family bonding! Let’s a Go!” He left with the two of them laughing hysterically. Leaving everyone in the meeting very worried, and confused. 

It took a while but eventually Billy calmed down. Though still quite angry as he was held like a sack of potatoes just like his twin. Cecilio had been talking non stop. “Okay...so I can understand why Lennie couldn’t recognize me right away. But you, you have too.” “I have never met you in my ENTIRE life up till now....” hissed Billy. “Pfft you are such a spit fire huh?~ Just like your mother, woo you have her temper.” stated Cecilio as he slowed down since he was going too fast. He may have bumped into someone. “What do you know about our mother?” Billy grumbled out as he struggled to get free. “ooooh i know a lot. And it ain’t pretty. She may look sexy but she is literally Hell on Heels. A stone cold Bi...Hey whose that?” Cecilio motioned to a red haired woman not too far off. “Your scent is all over her.” He smirked as he looked down at Billy. “Why don’t we go say hello~” Billy growled, “Don’t you dare involve her in this. I will Kill you!” “Too late, it’s already happening. See my feet walking on their own. I’m already halfway there!” Laughed Cecilio. 

Maggie turned hearing shouting behind her. She almost jumped back seeing A clown holding not only Lennie but a shouting struggling Billy. A gasp was heard from the taller clown, “you two are mates aren’t you. She’s so beautiful, heheheh. So wonderful to meet you miss. My name is Cecilio and who might you be?~” Maggie was taken aback having recognized the clown and she laughed. “My name is Maggie, it’s nice to meet you Cecilio” “What why are you acting so friendly with him. Can’t you see I’m trapped!” Maggie just held back another laugh at the situation, apparently Cecilio hadn’t said anything to him yet. She wasn’t going to give it away. “Well Maggie I hope I get to see you more often~” Cecilio gave her a wink and she giggled, “Are you going to be staying in town then?” “Oooh yeah, I plan on staying for quite a while~. Well now that I met you I wonder does my boy Lennie here have a mate as well?” Lennie’s eyes opened wide and he flushed brightly. Maggie smirked, “oooh yes he does, in fact in human terms. They are in fact married. Also you might learn a few other interesting things when you meet her.” Lennie almost choked, “Maggie!” she just shrugged with a smile. Cecilio winked and smirked, “Thanks for your time Maggie dear~. “ He walked past her the boys struggling in his arms, “ooh I like her. She’s got a fire to her, boy you sure know how to pick em hehehe.” Billy growled under his breath in that odd language again. “woah....rude! My mother was a saint...well as much as a saint a interdimensional monster can be of course. HA!” 

It was another few hours that Cecilio was sniffing around town to finally find the building Jelly worked at. “ooooh she’s a fancy business person just like your brother too.........” Cecilio nodded, “hmmm...hmm.....lets go say hello~” “No no no no! Not like this!” argued Lennie. But Cecilio wouldn’t listen he marched on in anyway. Everyone recognized Lennie and Billy. Though their faces betrayed them when they showed concern with the man holding them. Someone tried to intervene and get in Cecilio’s path to stop him but he swerved an avoided. “Sorry lady but I have a daughter in law to meet~” He slid into the elevator with the two boys and used his foot to hit the buttons. security having tried to get to them but the door closed before they could. “heh that was odd. Does that always happen to you?” Cecilio asked Lennie as if he wasn’t the cause of it. “....no. They know me.” Lennie stated. “Gee...maybe it was because a strange clown just came waltzing in like he owned the place!” shouted Billy. “You know boy that temper is going to get you into a lot of trouble someday. Have you thought of anger management? It’s something humans do when they are too aggressive and..” “I KNOW WHAT ANGER MANAGEMENT IS!!” Billy shouted once again, breathing heavily as his sharp teeth were bared. “well sorry Mr. grumpy pants.” Cecilio rolled his eyes and laughed, “Is he always like this?” Lennie shook his head. “Also....with him having these..outbursts. I think he hasn’t recognized me due to how grumpy he is~” Cecilio teased. “Billy you should take a minute to calm down.” Lennie suggested to him and Billy glared, “Why should I?” “just do it....trust me.” Lennie sighed. Billy did his best, but it as hard with the elevator music playing. But it was just enough for Billy to focus on it, and he glared up at Cecilio, “Aren’t you supposed to be dead...” “What? I’m not about to go dying when I worked so hard for you two to be born! Pssh!” Lennie made a squicked out face at that comment. “I.....we will talk about that later.” said Cecilio. Lennie’s face became disgusted, “Ew I hope we don’t!” 

the elevator door dinged and opened up. Cecilio broke out into a huge smile, “Has anyone seen the wife of my son Lennie!” People just stopped what they were doing and stared at the man who came out of the elevator. Cecilio sniffed the air, “ooh never mind!” He marched on. “wait wait please stop. Not like this!” Lennie struggled in his fathers arm trying to get free. He was embarrassed to be help like a sack. Cecilio came to some doors, and let himself in, “Hello daughter in law!” Jelly looked up surprised and a bit angry that someone just came bursting in. Then she saw Billy....then Lennie, “Lennie whats..” Lennie tried to explain “This isn’t bad I swear this is just...” “The name is Cecilio, it is such a pleasure to meet you. you are so pretty, my boys sure know how to pick em. “ He sniffed and an even bigger cheesier smile came onto his face. He squealed as he dropped the boys, “You’re pregnant! I’m gonna be a grandpa!” He picked up Jelly and hugged her. Billy stood up and brushed himself off. Lennie did the same and interrupted, “You know um...D-Dad.” That caught Cecilio’s attention. He still was hugging a very surprised Jelly though. “Billy has a daughter of his own. From his o-old mate.” Cecilio looked at Billy who was grumbling under his breath. When he heard his name he looked up eyes wide. “I’m already a grandpa!” He squealed and let go of Jelly and pulled Billy into a tight hug. Lennie ran over to Jelly, “you alright?” She nodded and straightened out her shirt, “yes I...that’s your dad I thought he was..you know?” “Me too, apparently Thyone lied.” stated Lennie. Cecilio nuzzled Billy and squeezed him, “I’m so happy.” he had a few tears in his eyes. “Well this is fantastic news, he seems like a really nice guy. Though....i’d like to know why he just showed up.” stated Jelly. Lennie nodded, “Me too. I figured I’d ask him once all the excitement dies down a bit.” 

The day went great, Billy calmed down. Cecilio met some of the new family and his boys. Even meeting Amaranthus who was cautious at first but loved him by the end of the day. Once everything was calm it was time to catch up and talk. But that is a story for another day.

#Cecilio the Jokester #Billy the Bumbling Clown #Lazy Lennie #Maggie the Clown #Jelly the Clown #fic

[kane-and-griffin]

PSA

Hi kids!

This is a gentle public service announcement to let you all know that I’m no longer engaging in any more discourse about the kink meme. 

This has become a really polarizing topic, I think the fandom’s collective ability to discuss it in a constructive way has eroded quite a bit, and the “callout posts” about it have themselves begun to feed an alarming amount of sensitive or triggering content into public social media spaces, which, quite frankly, runs a far higher risk of landing in front of the eyeballs of someone who needs to avoid it than when it’s safely quarantined in spaces like LiveJournal and Ao3.

It is staying open for at least the next couple weeks, and I intend to keep writing Kabby fic for it and sharing that fic here, as well as on Ao3.  I’m a big proponent of people curating their own social media spaces, so if you need to unfollow, block, blacklist, etc. because that is a nope for you, that doesn’t bug me in the least and I don’t take it personally.  We all have to know where our boundaries are.

A few last words on this topic and then I’m done. 

(P.S. this post contains no potentially triggering references to any of the specific kinks or fics in question.  It’s safe for all.)

There are many fics on the kink meme and Ao3 that I can’t and won’t ever read.  There are many kinks that squick me out.  But if you’re asking me to condemn specific writers or specific fics because they upset you, just know I’m never going to do that.  Even if it’s a fic I would never read myself.  My position is always going to be that I’m a writer and I stand with writers.  Even when I disagree.  Even when what they wrote squicks me out. 

“But what about this kink? Surely you can’t defend that writer.” 

Yes I can. 

“Okay, but what about this???  This very upsetting thing involving your favorite character?” 

Yeah, even that one. 

Free speech is most important when it isn’t convenient.  It’s most important when you have to go to bat for the rights of people to say shit that makes you want to die inside.  It’s why the ACLU defends Westboro Baptist Church.  If I only held to my values when it related to people who agreed with me and did exactly what I approve of, then they’re not values, they’re personal tastes I’m trying to legislate on everyone else.

My best friend and I were discussing this on Twitter yesterday when this cropped up over there.  We have very, very different personal tastes.  As in, there are rarepairs I write for and kinks I enjoy reading that hit some places of really deep “please don’t discuss that fic while I’m in the room” discomfort for her.  And we’ve learned, over the past years, how to be sensitive and respectful to each other about those things.  I offered - without her asking - to write a censored version of one of my fics to remove a personal squick of hers so that she could read it and not feel left out of the fun the rest of the group chat was having.  She, in turn, never once judged or shamed me for writing the thing that made her uncomfortable in the first place . . . which is just as important. It’s crucial to our relationship that, just as I don’t judge her for her preferences, she doesn’t judge me for mine.  And I don’t judge other people for theirs, even when they’re MILES away from things I would ever consider erotic, or even feel comfortable reading.  Because another trigger which is very, very real - which for many of us is deeply lodged within our body and our sense of self - is the trauma of being publicly shamed, outed, maligned, or criminalized for your sexuality.

I am gay, and for eight years I was a youth minister at my church.  When I was in my mid-twenties, an anti-gay hate group found a video clip online of a documentary about LGBT Christians that I had been interviewed for, and they emailed it to the entire staff of the church where I worked, the school, and the office of the diocese.  Until you have been outed by force, against your will, to your pastor, your coworkers, your middle school health teacher, the school moms whose kids are in your youth group, and the fucking Archbishop, with a letter explaining that young people are in danger from your deviant sexuality; until you have been on the receiving end of a campaign of online harassment that went on for four years; until you have read a complete stranger write on her blog, not three months after your mother’s funeral, that she hopes your mom died without knowing she had a gay child, to spare her that humiliation; then you cannot possibly imagine the sense of sexual shame that I have carried for my entire adult life about the idea that the things I do in private behind closed doors, or even the things I think about in the privacy of my own mind, are fundamentally evil and wrong.  

This is why I do not make assumptions or judgments about other people’s sexuality.  There is a wide gulf between the things that turn you on in fiction and things that turn you on when done to live human beings (including not just your own sex life, but any other area such as the sex trade, trafficking, the porn industry, etc., where real human beings may potentially experience harm). 

If I can make a distinction between you enjoying a television show where people have murdered each other without assuming you are a murderer, I’m not going to come after anyone for what they masturbate to, no matter how squicky I find it, by assuming they would practice or endorse criminal sexual behavior in real life.  

If you were in a car accident, it might be really, really traumatic for you to watch movies or TV shows that show graphic depictions of car accidents.  That’s 100% legit.  It would be fair for you to expect a warning about that content so you know what you’re getting into and can skip that episode, close your eyes and look away during that part of the movie, or say “nope this isn’t for me, that’s not content I’m comfortable with.”  And nobody would judge you for that.  However, there are other people who have been in car accidents who might be fine with it.  It might not land in their body the same way.  They might find it cathartic to watch the thing that happened to them from a safe distance in a context which is fictional.  They might process the trauma they went through - which is the same as yours - in a way that looks totally different.  

None of this is universal.  There are no hard-and-fast rules about what sexual fantasies are and aren’t okay.  For example, I know at least two fics which I’ve seen alluded to as being content that should not exist because it triggers survivors of _____, which were written by survivors of that exact thing themselves.  You have every right to protect your own boundaries, but you cannot assume that everyone else’s boundaries are in the same place.  

This blog is and remains a primarily Kabby-only blog which I do care very much about keeping a safe space.  I have always, and will continue to, post occasional fic here with Raven or Bellamy OT3s, and am absolutely happy to help you out if there is a way I can be more helpful in tagging that content for you so you can blacklist it and keep your Tumblr safe if that’s something that makes you uncomfortable.  It is always, always okay to come to me with “hey can you tag this thing so I can filter it.” 

In terms of the kink meme, the fic I’m writing and sharing here is primarily Kabby.  I have written for some other pairings, which you can find on my AO3 in my collection of kink meme fills (Doctor Mechanic, etc.) but this is a Kabby blog designed for Kabby shippers, so the kink meme fics I’m writing are largely for them.  They are also all labeled very carefully when I share them to AO3 with the specific prompt I was filling, and a plethora of tags, in case the kink they’re about hits a button that is a nope for you. 

I am always, always open to helping you guys create safe internet spaces by opening up a conversation about ways I can tag fic more helpfully.  But just as I do not police who anyone sleeps with or what gender(s) they’re attracted to - because I remember on a visceral gut level the shame and trauma I felt when that was done to me - I do not police what anyone masturbates to, fantasizes about, is turned on by, writes about, or reads about.  

Before anyone gets the wrong idea that my inbox has been flooded with assholes, I should be clear that 99% of all the conversations I’ve had on this topic - whether people love the kink meme, hate it, can only handle parts of it, don’t read smut fic at all, or don’t care what anyone else does behind closed doors and just wants to go back to talking about whether Isaiah’s tweet this afternoon legit means Jaha got killed off??? - have been thoughtful and civil and great.  The Kabby fandom is awesome and the majority of the really ugly drama has been swirling around around at a distance from our happy little corner.  But I still get occasional anons about this which seem pretty clearly intended to draw me into conflict I have zero interest in, so I wanted to state, one last time, very clearly, that I’m not going to be engaging in any of those from this point forward, and explain as thoughtfully as I can the reasons why.

MOM LOVES Y’ALL A LOT, THANK YOU FOR BEING AWESOME

#the 100 kinkmeme #the 100 kink meme #the 100 fandom #fic writers