#No seriously deep fry it its honestly golden and crispy and crunchy and wonderful

[eyeofnewtblog]

Things that happen at home:

Circa ten years ago

My dad: Hey! I got promoted!

Me and my mom:….ok but what is actually appropriate? Balloons. Helium is too expensive. All the frozen organic beef in the second freezer because dad is from a ranch family! Yes! We will cook! Meatballs buttered noodles, and meatloaf, lots of onions and maple syrup!

My dad: I’m going hunting as a celebration, I’ll be back with my filled antelope tag in a week and a half

My mom: Well, that solves that problem.

Me, a college student at the time: I literally have two pounds of potatoes, what do I do with this?

My mom: if you honestly can’t remember all the recipes I taught you, call my mom and dad for help. Do you…no, here’s the house phone, they’re going to love walking you through everything. Why are you asking Irish immigrants and their descendants for potato recipes? I love you sweetheart. I love you so much.

Me, now, looking at a potato: Who’s the bitch now? I can flay you seven ways from Sunday. You’re going to look like shit but taste amazing. Fuck yeah. Or you. Eh.

#humans are space orcs #potatoes #things that happen at home #potatoes are really really easy #oil or cream or butter #little bit of salt #45 minutes at 350 f and a golden brown crust #OR FRY IN ALREADY HOT OIL #deep fried #deep fried everything #murica #No seriously deep fry it its honestly golden and crispy and crunchy and wonderful