#My brain just went okay time to speak casual up here. And I'm kinda digging it? Took the pressure off. Hope it's okay to read though

[grokebaby]

@magnuficentwo

AYYYY UNDERRATED VARPUNEN FAM TIME LESGOOO. I'm thinking I'll try to say one positive and one negative but I won't force it if it stalls me

P - Negative: See she was born into a warrior family (aka she's the beast variety of demon), which in itself was just not the right lifestyle for her personally. Real stressful. I could pick probably multiple experiences from here but let's highlight the string of clashes between a Plague from those days who ended up killing and injuring several beasts. There are still two living Villagers that bear the scars from this time. P, however, bears the mental scars of having one or her co apprentices and teachers murdered. She has survivors guilt and various other kinds of guilt from this and suffered a bad freeze reaction that has stayed with her for a while.. The victims weren't even super close to her, but it was the sheer horror of the fact that anyone could just die (and in her mind, it'd be her fault bc she failed to help them).

As a bonus, btw, the plague involved in these events is dead nowadays. Please, do take a guess as to how.

Positive: One time, P and Nan were left home alone together for roughly a week, and since P mostly didn't interact with Nan aside from what she deemed necessary, things got quiet and awkward for a bit.. P was honestly scared, bc she had the fear that this was some kind of test from their husband - one she could fail miserably, somehow, so she remained on her tiptoes the whole time. He said he'd be off on a business trip and as the author I can verify this is actually true, and it wasn't a test, but unfortunately Ps mental state was... Not good. Thanks to him. A few days in, Nan approaches P carefully and tells her that it's okay if she doesn't know what to say, and if she needs her alone time. But if she did want to hang out, or talk, or anything, Nan would be here listening, no pressure to come up with anything special. See Nan had thought that the avoidance had more to do with Ps social anxiety and being a very withdrawn person, rather than paranoia over their husband. Although I won't deny she had a hunch..

Either way, this left a very positive impression on P, and she found some kind of strength in the fact that maybe, just maybe, if things get bad enough, she can lean on Nan. That, and she decided then and there to try her best to treat nan better and try to approach her on her terms. It didn't end up happening too much (not enough in her eyes), but it did still happen.

Sighs lovingly. P deserves way more attention imo. I did not hold back from rambling. Anyways!

Pesticinger - Negative: (TW TORTURE FEEL FREE TO SKIP) So it's widely known she's unpopular amongst humans for obvious reasons, so they often plot various things to get back at her, and often try to even capture or kill it. So there's this waterfall. A group of humans really want Pesticinger to have her "comeuppance" for what she's put them through. So this waterfall. They've set a trap there, where there's a rope that ties into a noose when released, and it hangs under the rushing water. Pesticinger is lured into this trap, and here's the situation: she's got a noose around her throat, and it tightens the further you pull on it. If she gets swept up by the water's pull, it starts choking her, combined with the water trying to pull her under. So she has to literally constantly fight the water, or she suffocates (either by drowning, or noose). It is not a good time. Her feathers get soaked the hell out so flying becomes difficult, she's quickly exhausted and it's kinda hard to call for help when you're trying to fight suffocation. She was rescued, of course. Poor bird. But she can barely even look at a noose, and the noise of waterfalls gives her anxiety. So do ropes, if they're put anywhere near her body.

This next memory I'm not sure if I'd label it necessarily either strictly positive or negative but it was very impactful for her. See Pesticinger has the mental capacity to get really, really introspective and existential, but the way her brain works, also sometimes leads it to tie itself into knots and leads her down dead ends she can't think herself out of. So it can definitely overwhelm itself by overthinking. When she was still very young, in one of these cases, she came to speak to her creator henself; the Mistress. It asked many panicked, disjointed questions, trying to untangle it's mind, and getting distressed, it started knocking at it's head with it's foot. The Mistress, gently, places hens hand on Pesticingers face to block the hits, and they share silent eye contact for a moment.

"Dear bird.. You don't have to know all the answers. You might, someday, but you don't need to. You are more than just a bird, or a beast; you are a force of nature. Even still, you can be as ordinary as you want. Just don't forget yourself."

Pesticinger still feels.. Bittersweet, about it. She's frustrated that she didn't get the answers, in fact the denial of them entirely upset her back then. But she can't say it wasn't also comforting. The reason this memory isn't purely positive is mainly due to Pesticingers mindset.

I think I'll cap this post here BUT BEFORE I DO I'll include just a little something from Nan bc. My number one Varpunen fam for sure. It'll be under the cut

I'll be vague bc I was actually writing a whole thing about this and it's still kinda in progress. But.

Something that's really stuck with Nan was when she, at one point, took her kids to see their grandpa, aka Nans father. He knew there were kids, but hadn't met them due to life just sweeping everyone up for a while.

He did not react well to seeing them. Their visit became very short and very uncomfortable. Nan had to have a talk with her father privately, (His name is Yngve Surström, btw) while the kids awkwardly waited outside.

This would become the last time Nan sees her father before he disappeared completely. Nobody knows why. Or how.

#Ask #Lukittu oc tag #Pesticinger #P #My ocs #tw torture #Nan #Umm I didn't do as many characters as i planned bc I can't be concise for SHIT #But thank you so much!!!!! #My brain just went okay time to speak casual up here. And I'm kinda digging it? Took the pressure off. Hope it's okay to read though #I HAD FUN!!!! CARES YOU TOO AUUAUHAGU NICE FOREVER #Very cool ask my brother