#Might as well toss my social at the bottom lmao

[adorethedistance]

I Don’t Just Like You - Trevor Zegras x Hughes!Reader

Hockey Masterlist

Warnings: swearing, tension/fighting, jealousy, Dixie lmao

Words: 2161

Summary: Tension builds with Trevor over his new partnership until the two of you confess your feelings.

A/n: Y'all I am so not doing well rn. I am processing a break up and questioning my social circle and im so lonely that I needed to write some angst to cope with it all. Hope yall like this one and maybe it'll get a smut part two depending on whether or not I can handle writing that rn lol. Enjoy!

Moose: call me ASAP

Me: sorry Luke. can’t rn

Moose: Awesome 😎

My hands quake with anxiety as I fiddle with the tarnished silver ring adorning my pointer finger. The moisture of my skin eases the movement of turning the ring around my finger. I hiss when the gemstone catches on the skin of my middle finger and immediately drop my hands. 

Currently, I’m staring down at the risky text I just sent Trevor. About an hour ago he had messaged me:

Trev: hey sorry can’t swing tn after all 

Trev: rain check?

My jaw tightens with contempt and I huff out a sigh as my bottom lip trembles. I feel pathetic for just how impacted I am by his every word. I angrily hit the digital keys of my phone’s keyboard as I type my reply.

Me: really? 

Me: again??

Trev: don’t be like that

I’m not the most confrontational person. On any given day some might say I’m the furthest thing from confrontational. To put it rather plainly, I just don’t like it. I hate the way I get anxiety butterflies in my stomach. I hate absorbing the emotions of the other person, especially when rejection is involved. I hate what projections I’m opening myself up to receiving from the other person. There are too many pitfalls and not enough landing pads. Which is why it’s so out of character for me to press him on this.

Me: like what Trev?

This is the third time in a row Trevor has cancelled plans on me. I don’t know if he’s aware of that. I don’t even know what he’s been up to lately. He’s refused to tell me what he’s been doing instead, which didn’t raise my suspicions by any means until mom sent me an article. She knows about how my crush on Trevor has had roots in our childhoods. 

Trev: you know what I’m talking about

After I stopped playing hockey with my brothers, I was still always around to notice Trevor’s presence in our home. When I moved to California for college, I wanted to chase my music dreams but I didn’t realize it would come at the expense of my support system. Being long distance with my family put me in a hard spot, but having a familiar face to rely on made the adjustment easier. As we spent more time together independent of my brothers, Trevor and I became close friends. The problem was my crush has been growing ever since we became friends, hence why mom sent me an article called, “Did Dixie D’Amelio admit to dating Trevor Zegras?”.

Me: at least say it with your chest

Sent. Delivered. I wait. Trevor’s response bubble appears for a second. It disappears, then reappears, then disappears again. I’m about ready to toss my phone across the room when his message delivers.

Trev: call me

I groan out in frustration and this time actually end up chucking my phone onto my bed. I run my hands through my hair, along the warm expanse of my scalp. A self-soothing gesture by all means. I pace to one side of my room before using the momentum of my steps to start back towards my phone. Just as I have it in my hand, Trevor’s contact picture covers the screen and illuminates in my grasp. I scoff out a sort of half groan and then answer.

“What, Trevor?”

“Hey, Y/n I’m great. Thanks for asking! How are you?” He responds sardonically to my cold greeting. I bite my tongue, torn between tearing into him and the stronger desire to laugh through my rage. He takes my exhale as a cue to continue. “What’s going on, Hughesy?”

In a single moment, my anger dissolves. The tenderness of that nickname, which was once reserved solely for my brothers, now belongs to me. In this moment, I find myself thinking about how grateful I am that Trevor was there for me as I transitioned into college. But the looming threat of a smile quickly vanishes as I remember how that care is nullified by Trevor’s abundantly active dating life.

“Y/nnnn?” Trevor hums into the phone.

“What?” I respond dryly.

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong is you cancelling on me for the third time in a row.”

“Is it really the third time in a row?” He asks under his breath, indicating he may not have intended to say it out loud at all. I roll my eyes, still actively fighting the urge to just lay into him.

“Yes, Trevor, it is!” I can practically hear him wince through the phone at the fact that I’m calling him Trevor instead of the default nickname permanently programmed into my phone. 

“Who’s that?” I hear softly over the phone. My heart flutters like a coal mine parakeet in a cage and I bite my lip, willing myself not to cry if it turns out Dixie is on the other side. Trevor whispers back,

“It’s Y/n.”

“Hey, Y/n!” Mason’s on the other end. 

“Not a good time,” Trevor tells him. Mason curses and then apologizes before retreating from Trevor’s general area. “Sorry, you were saying?” Trevor tells me at regular volume.

“You were cancelling on me again.”

“Oh. Right. I…” he switches the phone to the other ear, “I…don’t know what you want me to say.” Hello?! Could he be any more oblivious?!

“I want you to tell me what is going on!” I whine into the phone, “What is it you’re so busy with doing that you can’t see me for a week, huh? I get that you’re a professional athlete and you have a busy schedule. But I know your schedule and I know you still have a decent amount of free time. So what have you been doing?” Trevor breathes, in, then out and says,

“I’ve been seeing someone lately…” I feel my heart shatter into the tiniest fractals of what it once was and I cover my mouth to choke back the growing lump in my throat.

“I can’t do this right now,” I say with the utmost hurt lacing my voice, pulling the phone away from my ear to abruptly hang up on Trevor. I toss my phone on my bed once more, ignoring how the screen lights up with Trevor’s contact picture. It’s a new breed of psychological torture to sit here and ignore the calls, so I leave my phone in my bedroom as I go to splash cold water on my face. 

When I reenter my bedroom, I ignore the buzzing device to put on a comfortable pair of pajamas. He’s called once, twice, a fourth, and a fifth before finally giving up. Despite my phone being silent, I don’t trust it enough to take it with me and leave it to charge on my bed. I settle on the couch to open my new pint of Ben and Jerry’s, putting on my favorite show in the hopes of laughing through the pain. 

Somewhere between first and second episode, I had dozed off after returning the ice cream to the freezer. I’m not sure what it is about crying that knocks me on my ass like that, all I know is that it works. 

I’m abruptly pulled from my sleep when I hear the harsh banging on my front door. I jump up from the couch, the spike in adrenaline carrying me out of my sleepy haze. When I get to the front door, some of the tiredness catches up with me again and I groggily open the front door. Behind it stands Trevor, with sad puppy eyes and a sheepish expression. I can’t help the scowl that comes to rest on my face when I see him, but he doesn’t falter. Instead, he pushes past me to come into the apartment and sits on the couch expectantly. Since there’s no way to physically remove him from my space, I bargain, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch, as far from Trevor as I can manage. He doesn’t let the cold gesture phase him, and scooches obliviously into the center of the couch.

“What’s going on Hughsey?” I scoff at the nickname and Trevor cringes in frustration. “What is this?”

“I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

“Why are you icing me out all of a sudden?”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” I ask, spiteful, with malice. 

“Clearly not since I’m here spending time with you.”

“Was that so hard for you to do? I mean, with your busy schedule and all?”

“What are you-” Trevor pauses for a split second. “Wait, are you… jealous? Y/n?”

I want to protest. I want to scream and rant and bite back, how he could be so conceited to think I’d be jealous of a relationship that I previously thought was rumored? But I can’t. 

Because he’s right.

I bite my tongue. There’s nothing else I can do. Not unless I want to make an even bigger fool of myself than I already have.

“Oh my god, that’s totally it. You’re jealous.” Trevor says, complete with a laugh and a sigh. The shame of actually being jealous of a girl I’ve never met, the disappointment of finding out Trevor is dating someone, and the exhaustion from already having cried earlier comes collapsing down on me at once. Hot tears well on the lining of my lashes and I stare at the ground, afraid to draw attention to myself. Upon seeing me cry, Trevor’s smile immediately vanishes and he scoots closer once more.

“Hey, shhh, it’s okay.” He envelops me in a hug that I’m too overwhelmed to reciprocate. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.” 

I merely shake my head, unaware of what I could even say in this moment.

“I was… I was just laughing ‘cause I should’ve known.”

“Should’ve known what?”

“That you’d be jealous.” I wriggle out of the hug and look at Trevor sincerely.

“How would you have known?”

“You know, for as long as I can remember, your brothers have talked about you having a crush on me.” I cower in humiliation, my face glowing hotter than the surface of the sun.

“I wish they wouldn’t have.”

“No?” Trevor asks, genuinely.

“It’s embarrassing,” I confess, fully recoiling from the physical contact he had initiated before. 

“It’s cute.” Trevor earnestly admits as he takes my hand in his. I scoff instinctively but don’t pull my hand away again.

“I don’t need your pity, Trev.” I say so softly he nearly misses the sentiment. Once he processes my worlds, I feel him physically relax next to me at the sound of his familiar nickname.

“Well, what do you need? I’m here now.”

“I honestly don’t know.” I finally dare to meet his eyes. He’s looking at me so sweetly, earnestly. As if I hadn’t just chewed him out two minutes earlier. Then, I look away before I can say what I’m about to say next. “I don’t just like you.” Trevor’s face lifts ever so slightly. The extent of which, one might miss had they not known him a lifetime the way I have.

 “You know… the only reason I started seeing her was to get over you.”

“What?” I ask, sharply whipping my head to stare at Trevor, as if awaiting the reveal that this was just some elaborate prank from the start.

“Yeah. I started dating Dixie because I thought dating someone different would distract me. You know, it’s not a good look to have a crush on your best friend’s little sister.”

My heartrate picks up with his confession. This feels too good to be true. As if real life is waiting for us right outside the front door. The real life that doesn’t see me and Trevor together ever in our lifetimes. Terrified of the change that would occur from letting him walk away, I reach up and hold his face in my hands, kissing him passionately. Trevor wraps his hand around my wrist and kisses me back with twice as much fervor. 

We break apart, out of breath and full of smiles. Trevor looks at me for guidance and we fizzle into a nervous laughter. I reach up and brush my thumb tenderly across his cheekbone. He grabs my hand and turns his head, placing a sweet kiss on my palm. I then reach up and break the moment by ruffling my hand through his hair to mess it up.

“Hey!” He yells, grabbing waist to dig his hands into my sides. I screech with laughter as I try to escape. Trevor eventually yields and slips his hands from my sides to interlace with one another and pull me closer. I scoot in to sit against him, sitting half on top of him as our breathing falls in sync.

“I don’t just like you, too, Hughesy.” I smile.

“...You should probably call Dixie.”

“Oh shit.”

***

A/N: not my best work but not my worst either!

#Trevor Zegras #Trevor Zegras fanfiction #Trevor Zegras fanfic #Trevor Zegras fic #Trevor Zegras smut #Trevor Zegras fluff #Trevor Zegras angst #Trevor Zegras x reader #Trevor Zegras x y/n #Trevor Zegras imagine #Trevor Zegras one shot #Trevor Zegras oneshot #Trevor Zegras blurb #Trevor Zegras drabble #Trevor Zegras writing #NHL #NHL imagine #NHL fanfiction #NHL x reader #TZ 11 #TZ 46

[salt-volk]

since I’ve seen a few folks here mention it, I figured I might as well toss my two cents into this ring. (bonus: I don’t have to mince words quite as much here, haha.)

I don’t think the custom raffle was a scam. I don’t think that’s a wise or logical conclusion to jump to, given what we know. It just doesn’t make sense for the devs to shoot themselves in the foot so blatantly, for so little return.

1) making more customs does not negatively impact DV’s bottom line; in fact, it bolsters it.

If making customs cost anji more than just time, I’m sure the whole Irin situation would’ve been handled very differently. In fact, one of my suspicions as to why the bugged makers were not immediately rescinded (perhaps a bit conspiratory in and of itself) is that more customs = more money for DV. The more individual customs there are on-site, especially public customs, the more mirrors people will need to buy. There would be no benefit to going back on two (2) custom makers, especially when upwards of a dozen (iirc?) were previously given out at once. (I think there were obviously other factors to the irin situation, too - it would take an immense amount of time to go through logs/determine makers spun legitimately and those spun by people who knew of the exploit, they thought it would make people angrier to revoke the makers, maybe it was just sheer incompetence, etc.) Anyhow, point is: there is no reason for the devs to withhold the custom makers they promised. It’s better for them if they’re distributed.

2) As absolutely fucking stupid as a lot of the devs’ decisions are, I really don’t think they’re this stupid.

With DV, there’s a reasonable level of fumbling and bullshit to be expected with pretty much anything that comes out. This surpasses it. I mean, DV’s reputation is in the mud already in pretty much every circle I’ve seen. It’s a small miracle we get new users (even if 90% of them leave in a month, lmao.) Running a raffle that specifically asks people to advertise DV on social media, then expecting them not to tell everyone about a piece of drama this juicy, is… wishful thinking, at best. I truly don’t see staff sabotaging themselves this blatantly.

3) there are more reasonable explanations for the lack of raffle results, ones that are based on the devs’ past actions and are much simpler conclusions to reach.

Occam’s razor and all that. Staff has a history of both not knowing how to do very basic things for a petsite (I mean, they can’t get their own goddamn droprate straight enough to release. doesn’t get much worse than that) and also just… not communicating anything, ever, without the userbase begging and pleading for even a crumb. Either explanation makes much more sense than some tinfoil hat “it was all a lie for free advertising!!!!1!1” nonsense. Hell, you could even combine the two and get a pretty reasonable solution.

So, that in mind, there are three possibilities as to why there’s been no word on the custom winners.

A) The winners haven’t been drawn because staff either hasn’t finished compiling the data, or they can’t figure out how to select a winner. I think the main evidence is the sheer length of the custom entry thread on-site. They’ve run giveaways on social media before, and smaller raffles for events, but I don’t think they’ve done anything that was 1) both at once and 2) this large in scale. Capes were distributed gradually as people posted in the thread, so it would be logical to assume that entries were compiled as the thread grew, but I wouldn’t be shocked if the most crucial step was saved until the very end. Additionally, they could be short-handed due to finals or holidays, Anji could’ve insisted on doing this alone, etc.

B) The winners have been drawn and contacted, but staff has not communicated this at all. I’m somewhat less keen to believe this (though perhaps that’s wishful thinking on my part, haha) because surely at least one of them would have said something? The only reason I can think of is that either both winners are hardly active/hermits/wish to remain anonymous, or winners were asked not to reveal the fact that they won. I really can’t say how likely either option is.

C) it’s a lovely cocktail of both explanations. Winners haven’t been drawn, and staff won’t communicate because this kind of delay makes them look incompetent. I think this is the most likely option. I mean, there are threads on-site addressing this very issue. Surely, if the winners had been drawn, either the winners or the staff would step in to clear things up?

In short, take off your tinfoil hats. I think this entire situation is another example of the incompetence and ineffective/nonexistent communication that has plagued DV since its inception. Just another goddamn Tuesday on the most poorly conceived petsite this side of the 2010s. That said, I think we should keep posting about this on-site; historically, raising a ruckus and posting a few conspiracy theories has forced staff to post some kind of response in the past. It sucks that we have to force their hand for basic communication, but… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

To any staff involved with the raffle who might skim this blog and come across this: for the love of god, just say something on the matter. The only reason speculation spirals this far into the land of conspiracy is because you let it. We have nothing to go on, ever, because you refuse to give it. It’s infuriating to watch because I want to have faith that y’all have morals and half a braincell but you make it so fucking difficult. Even typing this out, I caught myself thinking, “but what if.” Your userbase’s lack of faith in you speaks the volumes that pretty art and cute npcs could never fill.

.

#oqulis #mod yoshi #customs #staff #reply

[indyatellez]

Get To Know Me Tag

I was tagged by @bourbon-creamss​! Thanks Mahlibuuuu 😘

1) Rules: tag 9 people who you would like to know better.

I’m a rule breaker (lies) so I tag whoever wants to do it 😂

Relationship Status: Single

Last Song I Listened To: K. Dot - HUMBLE.

Last Book Read/Listened To: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson

Favorite Color(s): Turquoise, Blue, Pink, Purple, Yellow.

Top Eight (8)Shows: American Dad, Family Guy, OITNB, Ghost Adventures, Bob’s Burgers, aaaand I can’t think of any others lmao

Top Three Characters: Steve Smith (yesss Mahli 👏), Louise Belcher, Stewie Griffin

Top Three Ships:

Tina Belcher and Jimmy Jr. lmao das it 😂

2) Rules: BOLD the statements that are true for you!

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7" or taller 

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people (slide tru.)

People tell me that I’m funny 

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

Ability:

I can sing 

I can play an instrument (guitar semi)

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (lol)

I’m a fast runner (You needed this shit in Brixton)

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for under a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling (I don’t like nobody squeezing my damn hand)

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch (Duh.)

I know how to throw a proper punch (Comes in handy this does)

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else (used to do netball at secondary school and was on the cross country team.)

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week (Gettin there guys.)

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

FANDOMS ARE MY #1 PASSION

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol (… come on now LMAO)

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting (sadly lmao)

I have been at an overnight event (Every other christening i swearr)

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships (Ew.)

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have been in a relationship for at least a year

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close to my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the united states (MIA all day)

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CD’s

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair (I just dyed it brown a few days ago)

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life (kinda)

I speak at least 2 languages (English and French)

I have made a new friend in the past year

#Might as well toss my social at the bottom lmao #jk #here's almost all you need to know about me

[kamilah-the-bloodqueen]

The Cafe Pt.I (Rewritten Barista)

As promised, I’m working through finishing my unfinished series - and that includes the Barista AU I had written long ago. I decided it was best to rewrite it considering the first part was originally published 200+ days ago. I’m aiming for 3 parts for this “one-shot AU” but we’ll see where it goes. Please be patient with me - my academic course load is extremely heavy and finding time to write is difficult but I will finish everything I said I would. I’m actually pretty proud of this but if it flops I never wrote it :) 

Pairing: Kamilah x MC (Amy)

Word Count: 4505 words I’m shocked (I usually get to about 1600-2000 words) 

Taglist: I’m not tagging anyone until I know people want to be tagged for this because I’m nervous and I hate being annoying!!!! If you want to be tagged for a specific pairing please let me know - I’ll try to keep track and remember to actually tag because I’m a forgetful dumbass!

Amy groggily rolled over in her bed, the amount of sleep she was getting had become oddly suspicious because she would never be able to get up before 7 on her own. She rubbed her face gently, her sheets warm and smooth against her skin. She grabbed her phone from the nightstand, her eyes widening in shock as she read the time on the screen.  

Monday March 30 5:40 am

“Fucking hell I thought I set an alarm!” Amy groaned as she threw the sheets to the side, huffing as she opened the clock app to see, she in fact, did not set an alarm. She sighed, shaking her head as she rushed to the bathroom. 

“Damn it Amy...you need this job…” 

She texted Zig, a mutual friend of Emily Day who introduced them their freshman year of college at Hartfeld before Amy had transferred to Belviore University in New York. Zig graduated and moved to New York and opened a small cafe, only a few years later. 

Zig, I’m going to be late. I missed my alarm this morning. I swear I’ll stay for closing and I won’t be late tomorrow. 

LMAO, Amy if you didn’t set an alarm just say that, I had a feeling this would happen so I told you we opened an hour before we actually do. We don’t open until 7 on Mondays, just Tuesdays-Fridays. 

I am literally going to murder you 0_0. You should prepare to be launched into outer space for this crime. 

Lol I look forward to it - see you at 7. 

Amy turned on the shower, as she grabbed a towel and her shower products from the cabinet, placing them beside the shower door. She discarded her clothes, put her shower playlist on, hopped into the shower and felt a wave of relief that she didn’t blow her first day. After Amy had performed her world tour, she stepped out of the shower with a shiver, the cool air a contrast to her very hot skin. She wrapped herself in the fuzzy towel, briefly glancing at the time, 6:02. She walked out of the bathroom, dropping the towel onto the floor as she opened her closet while she scanned her options for a “casual” outfit that would suffice. She put on her favorite bra and underwear, something about the red lingerie made her feel confident, before she slipped into a pair of dark blue denim skinny jeans. She paired the pants with a black t-shirt as she smiled at herself in the mirror. 

“Not bad Amy, not bad at all.” 

She walked over to her small vanity, one she had built with her father as a teenager over the summer before she left for college. It was one of her most prized possessions, one of the only things she had to remind her of him before he disappeared without a trace. She closed her eyes, recalling the memory fondly before she began to apply a small amount of makeup, just enough to hide her tiredness from the public. She stood from the desk, pleased with her appearance as she made her way to the small apartment kitchen. The empty beer bottles and ps4 controllers cluttered the kitchen as Amy smiled, having remembered celebrating the job with her suitemate Lily. She threw the bottles away and plugged the remotes in for a charge, Lily would thank her for that later. She opened the freezer, making herself two premade waffles as she checked her social media. It might have partially been the exhaustion but those waffles were the best Amy ever had, she wiped her mouth clean and grabbed her bag from the nearby chair. She shot a brief text to Lily, to let her know she hadn’t been kidnapped.

Morning Lily! I went to the cafe for work, just so you don’t end up thinking I got myself kidnapped. Love you, see you tonight! Try not to drink all of the alcohol. 

Amy followed Zig’s text directions through the streets of the city, the bustle of traffic, the mass of pedestrians and the loud construction noises distracting Amy from her path. Amy had never really been in New York’s financial district before, the other civilians' appearances shifting from “Naked Cowboy of Times Square” to “Businessman” only a few streets apart. She glanced at her phone as it instructed her to take a right.

“Oof-” 

Amy jolted at the scalding hot coffee that was hot on her skin, her head turning to meet a woman’s irritated gaze, taking note of the coffee cup that was in her hands. She was dressed like all the other businessmen and women who passed by - her maroon suit now covered in coffee as she huffed in annoyance. Amy met her deep brown eyes that burned right through her, her whole body freezing up as she watched the woman’s lips move. Amy stood in a daze, only coming back to herself when the woman waved her hand in front of her, her face filled with exasperation. 

“I’m so sorry. It’s my first day and I’m kind of lost-”

“Watch where you’re going, this suit is probably worth more than you.” Her voice was silky and satisfying, and oddly soothing given the fact she had probably just stained a $2,000 suit. Amy rushed to open her wallet, holding out a wet 50$ to the woman. The business woman scoffed as she walked away, leaving Amy in a confused state outside of the cafe. 

“Fuck.” Amy sighed, moving to collect her bag as she walked through the cafe door, Zig raised his eyebrows at her as she made her way behind the counter. 

“Well that’s a look.” He jested, Amy turning her head and giving him a death glare as he tossed an apron to her. “Nobody will notice, you can cover it with this. There’s paper towels in the back.” Amy dropped her bag in the break room, gently wiping the coffee away and putting the surprisingly fashionable apron on. When she walked out from the back her jaw dropped as she spotted the woman from earlier standing on the other side of the counter. Their eyes met and the woman’s gaze quickly changed from annoyed to very annoyed at the sight of Amy. 

“Kamilah, you’re back. Wanted to pick up some date-nut pinwheels?” 

“No, I need another black coffee.” She turned back to Zig with a smile, he gave a small nod as Amy began to brew the coffee for her. She placed the lid carefully onto the fresh cup and handed it out to the woman, their fingers brushing for a moment, a blush creeping onto Amy’s cheeks. 

“Thank you.” Her tone was less aggressive than it had been in their first encounter, Amy finally calm enough to take note of the woman’s features. Her brown silky hair that looked like it belonged in a conditioner commercial, her defined jawline and subtle eyeshadow that accentuated her eyes. She watched the way her lips moved as she talked to Zig, Amy feeling her heart jump at the sound of her laugh - light and golden. Amy watched her leave, every step she took she took with such confidence that Amy found herself wanting to follow her out the door. 

“You could be less obvious, you know?” Zig playfully nudged Amy, nearly knocking her over as she shook her head in denial.

“No! I wasn’t!” Amy sighed as she rubbed her temples, Zig’s infectious laugh filling the empty cafe. Amy playfully punched his shoulder as a group of well dressed men stepped through the threshold, Amy moving behind the register to take their orders. The day passed, Amy learning how oddly specific some people like their coffee, and learning all of Zig’s secrets to the perfect iced coffee. Amy looked at the clock as Zig walked to lock the front door - finally closing time. 

“Some of these orders...like ‘I’ll have the grande iced mocha no foam soy hexagon vortex hypotenuse’” Amy waved her hands around as Zig tried to contain a laugh, wiping down the counter as Amy hung her apron up.

“Amy you’re horrible.” Zig made a good attempt at seriousness, their eyes meeting before they continued to laugh which made closing pass by much faster. Zig grabbed the mass of leftover desserts from their respective containers, hovering them over the garbage before Amy stopped him.

“Oh, did you want these?” 

“No, but I can find a better place for them than the trash.” 

“Where? Your stomach?”

“No, the food bank is on the route back to my apartment. We shouldn’t be wasteful, and besides - who wouldn’t love a raspberry crown?” 

“You’ve got a point. I’ll bag these for you then, if you could sweep the floor and put the chairs on the tables that’d be great.” 

When all the cleaning and closing procedures were done Amy headed for the door with her bag in hand, Zig gently tapping her shoulder and holding out an envelope, a key to the cafe and the bag of desserts.

“Okay so I know what’s in here but what is this? A resignation letter?” Amy pouted her bottom lip as Zig rolled his eyes so far back Amy wasn’t sure if they’d come back.

“It’s your share of the tips from today, and the wrapped pastries. Thanks for that suggestion by the way, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that myself.” Zig rubbed the back of his neck as he looked around the pristine cafe, the windows reflecting the moonlight and the tile shimmering as if it were just installed. “Bloody hell, the place looks good...no great. Thank you Amy. Come on let's get outta here, go home - I’ll see you tomorrow at 6. Actually, let me make sure you set 3 different alarms, give me your phone.” Zig held out his hand after he locked the front door, Amy reluctantly handing her iphone over as he set 3 different alarms, all 5 minutes apart. He looked up at her for a moment, smirking before handing her phone back to her and walking off into the city. Amy rolled her eyes, he probably took a selfie on her camera but when she went to check, there was nothing but memes and occasional group photos -what did Zig smirk at then? Amy was too tired to think of it, she made a swift beeline to the food bank, opening the doors and dropping the brown bag of desserts off before making her trip back to the apartment. 

The door opened with a creak, all of the lights turned off as Amy carefully navigated to her room. She switched her lamp on, letting it provide a dim light that didn’t blind Amy because of its intensity. She tossed her bag onto the bed, as she pulled her shirt over her head in one rapid motion. She desperately stripped, throwing her dirty clothes into the laundry basket as she changed into clean lingerie. She slipped into her favorite pair of pajama shorts and pulling her favorite hoodie over her bra - shirts were overrated anyways. Amy crawled onto her bed, crossing her legs while she put her headphones on, pulling up her favorite late-night playlist and letting the slowed music soothe her. She caught a glance at the envelope Zig had given her, she reached over for it and opened it carefully - baffled at the amount of cash laying inside. She slowly laid each bill out, counting the total twice to make sure she hadn’t miscalculated. Working at a cafe in New York’s financial district was definitely going to help her and Lily catch up on their rent and not get evicted. She smiled, tucking away 25% for herself, taking enough for her share of the rent and putting the rest into her locked safe - she’d been saving for a trip to Hawaii since she graduated. She stifled a yawn, closing the safe and tucking herself back into her warm sheets, taking her headphones off and closing her eyes for the night. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The alarm woke Amy up with it’s loud and very obnoxious beeping, Amy wanting nothing more than to throw the phone into the thermosphere. She drowsily stood from her bed, gently tucking the sheets neatly back into place as she turned off the following alarms. She sighed, rubbing her head as she changed into a simple outfit and left out the door to the cafe.

Amy arrived at the cafe, unlocked the front door and turned the lights on, relocking the door behind her because she didn’t need anyone startling her. She moved behind the counter, dropping her bag in the lounge and putting an apron on. She checked the coffee filters, gave the blenders a good washing, set out creamer, sugar and other coffee essentials on the counter and filled supplies back up. Zig suddenly walked through the door, a smile on his face as Amy finished supplying the countertop and putting the pastries out on display, letting Zig prepare himself for opening. 

“You’re early. I’m shocked. College Amy is having a stroke right now.” Amy knocked him in the side, Zig falling back a few steps as he shook his head and put his hands in the air in surrender. “Alright alright no need for violence, come on, let’s open.” Zig turned the “open” sign on and only a minute later did Kamilah appear in the cafe, her suit perfectly fitted, her hair smoothly cascading around her head and down her shoulders and her face relaxed and composed. 

“Good morning Kamilah, what can I get for you?” Zig gestured to the display of desserts and the variety of coffee combinations on the menu above their heads. Kamilah smiling as Zig waved his hands back and forth, Kamilah letting out a soft chuckle. 

“Just a large black coffee and maybe a date-nut pinwheel.” Kamilah spoke to Zig in almost a tender way, as if they were siblings or long-term friends. Amy selected a pinwheel, gently placing it into a small bag and sliding it over the counter towards Kamilah as she began to brew the coffee. 

“How’s Ahmanet Financial?” Zig leaned over the counter, his defined arms nearly breaking through the sleeves of his white shirt. Kamilah tucked the pinwheel bag into a hidden pocket on the inside of her blazer before she turned back to face Zig.

“It’s very successful, our stocks are soaring and we just secured a new business partner.” Kamilah looked proud and for good reason - Ahmanet financial was one of the most powerful corporations out there. Amy topped her coffee off with a lid and handed it to her, their eyes meeting for a moment before Amy turned away, feeling her cheeks turning hot. Kamilah checked her watch, a movado 47 rose gold watch that cost way more than anything Amy had ever come close to owning. “Zig I’d love to chat some other day but I’m afraid I’ll be late if I don’t leave now.”

She quickly made her way out the door, the bell ringing softly as Kamilah strided away. Amy leaned over the counter with a sigh, Zig nudging her softly. 

“You could be less obvious Amy,” his annoying face smirking at Amy as she rolled her eyes, “you used to be so slick back in college.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Amy threw an empty coffee cup at him as a blonde girl walked into the cafe, her eyes glued to her phone as she recited her order at a rate that nobody could understand. Amy sighed, Zig giving her a pained glance as she went to mix the complicated coffee order. Amy fought back a laugh as Zig found a way to run away to the back when the girl asked for his phone number. Once Amy finished mixing her coffee and sent her out the cafe doors Zig poked his head out of the lounge - his eyes scanning for her.

“Is she gone?” Amy snorted as Zig stepped out from the doorway, his hands running through his hair as he let his shoulders relax. “My god I hate teenagers - they turn eighteen and all of a sudden think they can fuck anyone. I’m like 5 years older than her at least!” 

“Relax buddy, let’s just get through the rest of the day. I’ll handle all the teenage brats and you can handle all the nasty men.” Amy gave him a cheeky grin as they teamwork-ed their way through the rest of the day.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Finally.” Amy rested the broom on the wall, taking in the pristine cafe as Zig finished wiping down the counters. “What a day.” 

“Thank god it’s over.” 

“Zig?”

“Yeah?”

“Does Kamilah always come by the cafe right when we open?”

Zig perked his head up, his brows raised to the top of his head as Amy felt a blush creep up her cheeks, her hands growing sweaty as Zig remained silent. 

“She always comes as soon as we open, she has to be at work early since she is the CEO. Although she never rests, despite everything I’ve told her.” Zig’s head shot to his phone as it buzzed, a text from Emily appearing on the screen and Zig hastily typed away.

“Everything okay Zig?” Amy had a worried expression on her face as Zig let out a long sigh. 

“There’s a road trip for Kaitlyn’s band that leaves in two days that lasts for a week that our group is going on and I can’t go because I need to run the cafe-”

“I can handle it for a week.” Amy spoke firmly, Zig’s eyes widening before he let out a chuckle.

“What if you burn it down?”

“I won’t but then I guess you just have to trust me. Come on Zig - you need a break and you damn well know it. Get out of here for a week.”

“I hate that you’re right. Fine, but if the cafe isn’t standing when I get back, you’re toast.” They both laughed and finished up closing. 

Amy walked towards the food bank, a brisk breeze prompting her to make it one speedy trip so she could bask in her heated apartment. A shriek came from the alley as Amy turned her gaze to see where the yell had come from, a red pair of eyes looking right at her in the darkness. She felt her heart beating out of her chest as she forced her feet to a run, her heart pounding like a drum and ringing in her ears as she huffed through the front doors of the bank - placing the bag on the counter and racing back to her apartment without turning back. 

“Hey girl how was-” Lily sat on the couch with a coke in her hand and the television remote in the other, her smile fading as she met Amy’s eyes. “Amy, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost…”

“I think I’m just hallucinating from exhaustion,” Amy dropped her bag on the floor and took a seat on the couch beside Lily, “anyways tell me about you. We haven’t really had time since we both started working more.”

“Well you should sleep soon but I think we’ll be able to hold the rent for the next few months - with all the money you’re bringing in now in addition to the money my app has started to bring in - I think we’ll be more than fine.” Lily nudged her shoulder, offering Amy a can of coke with a smile as The Vampire Diaries played on the TV. 

“Vampires are so overrated.” Amy groaned as she watched Lily’s eyes become glued to the screen.

“Some of us have taste you know.”

“No, it’s because they’re not real Lily, and the fact that no vampire would ever be attracted to me.” 

Lily rolled her eyes as Amy sipped on her coke, both of them laughing late into the night and being good friends in what had felt like a long time. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Amy unlocked the cafe doors and shuffled inside, locking the door behind her and leaving her bag on the counter. She hit the light switch as the lights slowly came flickering on as she tied the apron around the back of her neck. She quickly started and finished the morning set-up, the routine becoming second nature since Amy had always been a fast learner. She checked her phone, 6:49 am April 1, 2020. 

“April fools day.” Amy smiled as she contemplated setting up a whipped cream prank on Zig, but decided not to against her deepest desire to see his shocked face. While thinking of ways to mess with Zig through the day, her mind came to test a theory - she began preparing two black coffees - before adding her own twists to one of them. Amy finished and admired her handiwork - the cups looked identical and Kamilah wouldn’t notice until she tasted it. 

Kamilah walked in, her eyes scanning the cafe for Zig as she took a cautious step towards Amy who had a cute little grin on her face.

“Good morning Kamilah, here’s your coffee.” Amy handed her a black coffee, the one she had adjusted ever so slightly. She watched as Kamilah brought the cup to her lips, almost taking a sip, before she lowered the cup and leaned her face closer to Amy. 

“What did you do to it? It smells different, and where’s Zig?” Kamilah arched a brow as Amy silently wondered how Kamilah could smell the difference.

“I took a twist with it, I made you your regular too in case you hate it...I just thought you should broaden your horizons…and Zig is coming. He just needs to pack, he’ll be gone after today for a week and I’ll be running the cafe.” Amy smiled softly at the woman who was now leaning dangerously close. 

“I see. And if I hate it?”

“Then I’ll pay for both and I’ll never try to broaden your horizons again…” Amy frowned slightly as Kamilah finally sipped on the drink - her brown eyes widening as she took another, and another.

“It’s...actually pretty good...what did you do to it?” Kamilah took another sip as Amy bounced on her heels, a wide childish grin written across her face. 

“I added a bit of cream and sugar and a bit of caramel! It’s how I like mine!” Amy took her hands behind her back and fiddled with them nervously as Kamilah smiled. Zig walked in just as the clock read 8:05 am and Kamilah left, turning at the door to smile at Amy one last time, lifting the cup up with a smile before entering her car. 

“What’s that smile about Amy?” Zig wagged his fingers at Amy with a classic smirk as he prepared for the shift, Amy resting her head on both of her hands while she leaned over the counter - her legs kicking out behind her. 

“Nothing.” Amy sighed and went back to brewing coffee, her hands aimlessly performing while her mind sat on nothing but the thought of Kamilah - and her damned perfect smile. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Amy tossed her shoes off as she made her way through the apartment door, one shoe nearly knocking Lily’s head off as she pulled freshly fried chicken from the air fryer. 

“Lily that smells AMAZING!” Amy squealed and made her way over to her, Lily slapping her hand away as she finished the two plates of waffles off with a chicken breast and syrup. “I swear I’ve got the best best friend…” Lily smiled as they both dug into the food, chatting away about their day until Amy let it slip out.

“And there’s this really hot customer-”

“Oh! Spill!” Lily wiggled in her seat like a child, eagerly waiting for Amy to elaborate as Amy stuffed her face with the rest of her waffles. “I’ll wait for you to finish.” Lily smirked and held Amy in an uncomfortable eye contact until Amy finally caved in. 

“She comes in at opening time every single day, and always orders a black coffee. Although I got her to try something new today which I’m really proud of.” The subtle smile that crept up Amy’s face gave it all away to Lily as she let her ramble on, whilst she gave Amy the smirk she hated. “I’m simping aren’t I?”

“There’s nothing wrong with simping. But you have a chance here because Zig won’t be there so you can actually like...take your shot without him ever having to know,” Lily winked and whispered, “and you could totally fuck her in the back-”

“NOPE!” Amy stood up frantically, Lily holding her sides for support and nearly falling out of her chair as Amy rushed to clear her plate. “I hate you! Ohmygoddddddd.” Amy groaned as Lily fell to the floor, her eyes wet with tears at Amy’s reaction more than anything else.

“I’m going to bed!!” 

“Goodnight! Love you Ames!!!”

“Love you too….annoying ass!” 

Amy snorted as she changed into her sleepwear, her body becoming exhausted as she hit the mattress, falling asleep ridiculously fast. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Kamilah came through the door, right on time as Amy had come to expect. Amy gazed up from her phone, those dark brown eyes looking right at her as she handed Kamilah her usual black coffee, Kamilah holding it closely before clearing her throat. 

“Can I have the one from yesterday as well?” Amy smiled at her as she began to mix her favorite coffee - Kamilah leaning over the counter to observe. 

“I didn’t think you’d want it again.” Amy said as she added creamer to the mix, the coffee turning golden as she mixed it. 

“A woman can’t appreciate a little variety in her life?” Kamilah leaned against the counter, her hair smoothly gliding over her maroon blazer as she tossed it back - taking a sip from her cup.

“No I just-” Amy topped the cup off with a bit of caramel before enclosing it with the lid, her hands sweaty as she handed it to Kamilah. 

“You just?”

“Thought you’d always like your coffee like your personality.” 

“Whatever do you mean by that?”

The way Kamilah was looking at Amy, she knew she had to choose her next words carefully. 

“Dark, intimidating, a bit bitter at first sip,” Amy hesitated as Kamilah raised a brow, “an...acquired taste.”

“You’re intimidated by me?” 

“Just a little…”

“Hmm, I suppose your coffee is like you if you want to expand your little analogy.” Kamilah glanced at her watch, her expression shifting from playful to work-oriented. Amy felt her heart drop a little as she recomposed herself - back to her refined and disciplined self. Kamilah made her way to the door, the two cups of coffee in her hands as she paused, turning back and looking at Amy - something different about it.

“It’s...sweet and comforting,” her voice was soft as she spoke, Amy’s cheeks turning very red, “like you.” 

#kamilah sayeed #kamilah x mc #mc x kamilah #kamilah the bloodqueen post #bloodbound #bloodbound AU #um so I have a love-hate relationship with this fic #but i am proud of it in it's ways #okay i've been deflecting i need to go do calculus homework and lecture videos

[english-ext-2]

Planning Your Degree

Unlike high school where you had a limited range of electives to choose from and a couple of eligibility and progression criteria to keep in mind (10 units minimum for the HSC, at least 4 subjects, 2 mandatory units of English, etc.), university has dozens of electives and entire handbooks with enough fine print to make you cry. You’re often left to navigate the waters (of your tears) yourself, since academic advisers aren’t as accessible – there’s hundreds of students in a department or faculty, and only a couple of them to go around.

Not to say you shouldn’t try to get in touch with academic advisers! Certainly, if you encounter any difficulties you should get in touch with them. I’d love to provide a list but there are advisers for different faculties, departments and schools just at Usyd, so you can imagine how long a complete list would be for every major university in Sydney. Besides, advisers often change without notice.  

Ultimately, you’re responsible for ensuring you’ve taken mandatory subjects, any prereqs for senior subjects, that you’re not under or over-loading your units, that you’re on track to meet the required number of credit points or units for graduation, etc. That said, not even meticulous planning can save you from the incompetence of uni bureaucracy. That’s just something you’ll have to learn to tolerate. 

Just remember: 

YOUR HANDBOOK IS YOUR BEST FRIEND

To make life marginally easier, bookmark your degree handbook and always refer back to it before and after semester to make sure you’re fulfilling your requirements.

UTS handbooks 

USYD handbooks 

UNSW handbooks

Macquarie handbooks 

WSU handbooks 

These are all undergraduate handbooks btw, don’t confuse yourself with the postgrad handbooks. They contain essential information on admission, requirements, attendance, core/compulsory units of study/subjects, etc.  

Spot the Difference (or not)

One of the horrible (truly horrible) things about degree planning between universities is the lack of consistent terminology. This drove me through several walls in my planning. A “major” at Usyd is also a “major” at UNSW, though it’s interchangeable with “area of specialisation”. Usyd “units of study” are UNSW “courses”. Aren’t you missing NESA and nice, straightforward Board Approved Courses now.  

There are other terms like streams, sub-majors and sub-structures but they’re university-specific and with some digging you can find what you’re looking for. These are just the most common terms you’ll encounter and need knowledge of.  

Lmao WSU what even

It’s tempting to plan your entire degree in advance, which while showing excellent organisation and foresight, doesn’t account for the messier reality of new and cancelled units, and units that were offered in one semester suddenly being offered in another. Trust me on this. You can only deal with so much administrative bullshit before shorting out. Sure, you can tentatively assume where exchange or internships might go, but don’t assume a unit you had an eye on for 2019 semester 1 will definitely run in 2019 semester 1 (even the compulsory ones can switch around randomly).

Using Excel 

It’s also helpful to map your degree in an Excel spreadsheet – maybe do this after you’ve gotten your ATAR and are tossing up between two or three degrees. 

It’s not exactly art but it serves its purpose. Down the side you can see I’ve divided my study into semesters and across the top I’ve included the components of my degree. Because I took INGS, I had:

an International Studies core (4 INGS units of study)

a language core (3 language units of study)

a compulsory major (8 units of study, 6 of which are senior units)

a second major (I could have chosen electives but I wanted to double major)

compulsory exchange (4 units of study approved by my departments)

You’ll also notice the purple row and column at the bottom and far right. Those are my total credit points (I know it says “UOC” but that was because my first table was for UNSW B International Studies and they use “units of credit”). It’s vital that you keep track of how many credit points you’ve done!! If you don’t meet the requirements you jeopardise graduation (which is why it’s ESSENTIAL to make sure you get academic approval for any subjects you might take on exchange.)

I returned to this outline after each semester to make sure I was on track, and to confirm how many units I would need to take next semester. 

Choosing Your Units

.. or units of study, subjects, courses. This is going to be a more general section since I can’t possibly provide reliable advice on specific units in specific degrees.

The first thing you should ask is: IS THIS UNIT COMPULSORY? It sounds obvious but hey, you need to pass compulsory units to graduate. You should also be aware if those units have prerequisites or are prereqs themselves for senior units, as that will affect the order in which you take them. In first year it’s relatively easy to determine which units you’ll do (starting from scratch), but once you hit second year, depending on your degree, there’s some flexibility. 

For example, I have law friends who’ve played around with matching different compulsory law units to make for a more interesting semester. One of these friends, doing a double degree in Commerce and Law, also tried to balance her Commerce and Law subjects to take the edge off reading-heavy law units and keep herself sane.      

If you have electives, have fun with them! Shop around, but consult your handbook to ensure your unit of choice will count towards your degree.  

Your choice will depend on a combination of factors:

Prerequisites, corequisites, and prohibitions 

Availability - semester 1 or 2? trimester 1, 2 or 3? 

Your personal interest

Quality of lecturer/tutor - consult your network, keep an eye and ear open for the good ones 

Timetabling - important for those who have work (also ties in with attendance-as-assessment) 

Assessments - units with heavily-weighted exams or several small assessments might not be so attractive 

How well a unit complements your major(s) - this one is a bit understated and perhaps more applicable to the Humanities, e.g. my social research units complemented my media politics unit very well 

Degree planning can be a pain, particularly for those with 5-6 year degrees, but it’s so important you’re on top of your units to ensure all that hard work and suffering pays off at graduation.

#hsc #year 12 #university #degree planning #atar

[ts-seychelles]

EP 6. - “Eh, Maybe Some Decaf Tea” - DAN

Creating my first alliance with asya and vilma? legend status planning to get augusto to make one between myself dan vilma and him? also legend status. Get me IN with that social positioning mama. If I'm not going to tribal I gotta do SOMETHING

(A LITTLE LATER)

I feel I should write a semi serious long confessional about losing Zach, but I'm absolutely shook. I was FaceTiming Joanna during the tribal council, and I was actually baffled. I know he played a little hard, made lots of alliances with people and was really going after it, but I'd figure that something else would go down with that tribal council........ idk. Something about what happened last night makes me feel unsafe in the game, and I don't know how to respond to it. Ricky, the night before tribal, was the one who spilled all the tea about Zach, which I just didn't know completely about until Ricky told me, but more importantly, all of this about Zach showed me that I'm really not as "in" with the OG Lazare as I thought I was. Not knowing any of this information about Zach, me not knowing that other people knew about the 6 person alliance that Zach tried to form.... it just makes me feel out of it The good thing is that I'm very much working on my relationships with the people from the original Lazare that are currently on my tribe, and honestly, if that other tribe gets rid of people like Roxy or Ruben next, then maybe my game can restart with brand new relationships at the merge. I figure if people knew this much about Zach, they probably knew about my relation to him, and how involved I was in his game. I hope it doesn't come back to bite me, but for now, just gotta keep working my relationships in my tribe and hope that I can make it to the merge and MAYBE find another idol lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVAWPhD1I1o

So Johnny and I have been on the same tribe for forever now. To think he called me boring last org oof. I swear I'm not boring, I just didn't want to take you to the end that game >.> I'll try this time as long as you don't fuck me over sngkfdbnhgjh. Also I fucking hate winterbell and everything about it. Orsinwhateverthefuck sucks

i completely forget to submit for the reward challenge like a dumbass, BUT ITS OK BECUASE WE STILL WON. this next challenge makes me worried though because it is literally based off luck lmao kill my ass

I don’t have anything to say bitch. i got the idol clue rip. that’s IT. thanks for sponsoring me, dr. pepper!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBxuZVACfac

So we're going to tribal tonight, which means for the first time in 22 days..... I am actually going to tribal vnfjkdlsnvjdfklnvjlkdfnjklvndfjklvndf I have a lot of thoughts going into tonight, specifically the fact that I wanted to make a move on Ricky, but also Dan kinda fucked it all up kjvnldfnsjklvndfjklvf Dan, Ricky and I have a chat from the people who competed in jeopardy, and as cliche as it is, we decided that the three of us should work together. Also while this was all happening, Dan and Augusto BOTH previously, before we lost, spoke to me about "splitting up" Asya and Ricky because they were apparently in an alliance with Roxy or Nicole or something like that, and Nicole told Vilma, and Vilma told Augusto, and now Augusto told me........ and here we are. They wanna split it up, and honestly I'm all for it. I don't want to keep around a lot of Lazare people because I felt pretty uncomfortable on that tribe with my social positioning, and even though I was in an alliance with Zach, Ruben and Roxy, it still feels idk. The BIG thing that I was coming around to was the fact that Dan TOLD Ricky in our jeopardy chat that Augusto wanted to separate Ricky and Asya, and that just made me so...... hmph annoyed? at Dan. I feel that wasn't a smart move, and when you've got information, you've just gotta hold it close to your chest and talk to the people who ALSO know about that information, and Dan just kinda threw Augusto under the bus, who REALLY wanted to work with him, and now Ricky is losing any potential trust in Augusto and idrk what to do about it. It's messy, but no one REALLY knows that all of this messiness is happening except for Dan, Ricky and myself because of the jeopardy chat, whomever they told (Ricky probably told Asya), and then I told Vilma bc I trusted her and wanted her to be on the same page as me. My gut is telling me that Augusto is going to be fine, and that Vi is likely going to be the one going home, but it's definitely going to get crazy if this tribe goes to tribal again, and we may have to see the tribe implode between Augusto vs Ricky/Asya vs Dan for exploiting all the information. It could get nuts. Honestly though? Keeping the problematic people around to make me blend in more and have to worry about getting voted out less and less? I'll take it. I'm actually trying to be so non threatening this time it hurts, and I'm hoping I'm accomplishing that for now? i'm sure once we get to merge things will change teehee

(A LITTLE LATER)

OH ALSO Vilma found the idol and I'm kinda pissed bc I was SO CLOSE to finding it before her, but she beat me to it. it was her idol clue, so she deserves it, but she told Me AND Asya........... and idk if you should tell Asya that information, especially because she is kinda rogue sometimes, and the less people knowing the better, BUT nothing bonds an alliance together like that kinda information, so it turns out the Power Bottoms (newly formed alliance between Vilma, Asya and myself) is going to go SWIMMINGLY

Hello 👋🏻 My name is Pastor Nicole and I am here to share with you this most important confessional Okay anyway I’m in a better mood today than most of my past confessionals so, enjoy that much. Things have been going well. I’m pretty sure Ruben got some cracked ass shit at Ghost Island and is just itching to use it. But, we won so he can’t ha HA ha. Anyway being on a tribe with my boyfriend started out kind of rocky since I’m kind of the stubborn one in our relationship but in this game Jared knows more about things so like....it’s been a bit tough for me to follow directions of a man! That’s not my style. But it is...what will probably get us both to the end of this game, if anything. Because I really don’t know that much about survivor and my strategy of kind of flopping until I need to backstab, just isn’t gonna work when we together are this big of a threat. So, I gotta like loosen the reigns and let him guide the horse ya know. But trust and believe in the words of Little Mix, “I’ll let you come take the wheel long as you don’t forget I got the power.” Which I’m sure is about sex but, I’m ....strictly talking about the game I swear. Anyway besides that I’ve got some fun alliances going and my little legacy thing, it’s cute. I’ll talk more about that later (which is always what I say in these because giving too much information is also, not my style.)

https://youtu.be/NDzub2LkO1k

Tonight it seems like we are voting Vi. Agustuo wanted me to vote Ricky or Asya because they are a big duo but I told him that they don't really seem to be bothering anyone right now. As far as I know Ricky hates everyone lmaooo. It also might be a good idea to get as many people from the other side to the OG Malabar tribe, because we seem to be sticking together pretty well.

So fun fact Ruben is trying to get me and jg to turn against Nicole and Jared. And idk who to believe about all this. Like who actually has my back outside of JG. And like Roxy and Ruben say they have ours but do they

So do I have tea? Eh, maybe some decaf tea. Me, Johnny, and Ricky are basically an alliance, with Asya on the side (idk if she knows that or not but whatevs). Augusto thinks him and I are close. He disclosed he wanted to go for Ricky or Asya, I went to Ricky and told him. Augusto tried to rally Ashen, who wasnt into it tbh, and now Augusto looks dumb lol The plan as of right now is for Vi to get the chop. Will it happen? Sis I hope so. She’s just bland and doesn’t talk to anyone, so people can’t justify making a move against Ricky because Vi is basically dead. I had a Thats So Raven moment in the car today when i was thinking about this game. I was thinking about how sickening a merge at 11 would be with me, Johnny, Jared, Nicole, Asya, and Ricky being the majority alliance. Then I thought about a me, Nicole, and Asya black widow final three where we vote out all of our men at f6 so that the three of us can get to the end. How sickening. We all have a guaranteed jury vote and we all look pretty.

Alright so I somehow managed to survive my first tribal back at Lazare and I highkey feel bad about it, but I'm still here so I am trying to take everything out of this second chance. I definitely feel like my odds of winning are close to zero especially after everything that went down, but close to zero is still better than zero, right?? Oh, and I found an idol too, WHAT???? This is the first time I've had an idol in an org and I don't know what to think about that. I got lucky with the reward and received a clue that was really helpful. I might have made a big mistake telling Johnny an Asya about the clue in our alliance chat because in the end I would have found the idol without their help and since I told about the clue I was pretty much forced to reveal that I had found the idol as well. I feel like I'm going to become a big target soon and everyone is going to know about the idol. Our new tribe managed to win the first challenge, but the second one came down to luck and we were unlucky so yay, tribal awaits! Although everyone seems to be in agreement to vote out Vi tonight since she's been a bit busy and inactive and hasn't talked to people a lot. I'm definitely okay with that, I always enjoy a nice unanimous vote haha. Johnny told me that Augusto had tossed out the idea to vote out Ricky to split up Asya/Ricky who seem to be friends, and Dan later confirmed this was true. But right now it seems that people have settled on Vi and I'm honestly happy about that because 1) I would feel bad voting out an active player over an inactive and 2) Asya knows about my idol so I don't want to blindside her anytime soon. Other than that I'm not entirely sure where my loyalties lie at the moment but I'm sure it's going to become clear if we end up having to go to tribal again. Of course there's always a chance that everyone's bullshitting me and I'm getting blindsided later tonight, but I find it pretty unlikely that NO ONE of our tribe of 8 would let me know about that... So I am probably going to try and get some sleep now, and unfortunately miss tonight's tribal. I need to sleep after all these sleepless nights okay.

https://youtu.be/4Vgxagy6pjY

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