#Larries will support anything associated with Harry

[wishingicouldfly]

Louis Tomlinson - LGBTQ icon

A moot on Twitter asked me for some sources, so I decided to put them here in case it was helpful to others. I don't claim that this is all encompassing or definitive.

There isn’t only one instance of Louis alluding to being a part of the LGBTQ community. It’s repetitive and continuous across years. It’s the cumulative instances that make it definitive for me. While he has said that he’s straight a couple of times, it’s been in writing (most notable on Twitter on 11/10/14, and detailed in this article: 'F***ing ridiculous' 1D Louis in meltdown after wrongly thinking reporter called him gay - Daily Star, which was notably the day after he wore this shirt in support of Apple CEO Tim Cook and a couple days AFTER Harry Styles said "not that important" in reference to a dream date being female--there's some debate as to whether Louis was in control of his SM that day, but I digress), and he never once adequately denied being in a relationship with Harry verbally. It’s important to remember he’s closeted.

Adding a cut cause this got long.

While I personally think he’s been in a long term monogamous relationship with Harry, most of these aren’t about Larry. I think it’s important that both men stand as strong LGBTQ icons/role models apart from their connection together.

Nothing here proves anything about his sexuality or how he personally identifies. I don't claim to know how he identifies. This is simply a list of ways he seems to message that he aligns himself with the LGBTQ community. For me, it’s the cumulative moments that make it impossible to dispute. Anyone reading this is entitled to make your own opinion of what he means.

A few times Louis has alluded to being close to gay/LGBT culture

This is a good post that talks about his casual athletic style being a nod to gay “chav” fashion. it’s wild to me that ppl don’t realize Louis... | Facts, Queer Fury, And Spite (tumblr.com)

He uses LGBT symbols in videos, such as rainbows and pink triangles. First one is We Made It. Second one is Miss You. Screenshot by me on 1/16/23.

Links to video: We Made It: https://youtu.be/XWXRh6icAzQ

Miss You: https://youtu.be/inZzcTXYowY

There are a lot of allusions to gay history in the Just Like You lyric video including George Michael Lyrics: https://youtu.be/qvXXMsiQBDg

An analysis of Louis’ songs and his use of pronouns by @bluewinnerangel: it's subjective - Louis using pronouns in his lyrics (tumblr.com)

There are a lot of allusions in his lyrics to being “different” and about his love for his significant other being made to keep secret.

His triangle ankle tattoo, which coincidentally (or not) aligns nicely with a tweet once made by Harry Styles.

This tweet was made literally a day or two after the tattoo reveal. (as of 1/16/23 that tweet is still live on Twitter, screen shot taken by me).

The Rainbow Bears during the last year of 1D before Hiatus—if you’re not aware of this, it’s too much for me to put here. But basically, it was widely accepted that Louis and Harry were behind the bears which alluded to a lot of LGBT history, as well as shaded BabyGate. A couple of links:

It’s a beautiful war 🌈 (tumblr.com)

https://youtu.be/sCNVPRNzmuE

Louis has been closely associated with the Polari brand, which takes its name from a language created by gay subculture in the 1950s. Polari - Wikipedia

A companion post with times Harry has come out: (32) Wishing I Could Fly on Tumblr

#louis tomlinson #LGBTQ icon

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

Harry used Taylor Swift to sell two ghosts but he did it such that he didn’t say that out of his mouth, his team ensured that all the interviewers phrased their questions such that it was assumed. He did say Carolina was about a specific girl. He added Camille’s voice to a song on his gender bending album. All the interviewers again positioned it as his breakup album but he didn’t say that. Harry’s house had lyrics which clearly had a purpose to form association cinema/leave America etc. Larries did not seem to mind at all. None of his music was boycotted. If Louis mentions Freddie’s/Eleanor’s name in an interview they will boycott him. These double standards came from the big blogs. The blogs which will say outrightly I don’t listen to Louis’ music because I don’t like it. I want to see one Larry say that they don’t like Harry’s music and survive, it’s not possible. I follow a Larrie blog who posts high quality content. They said that Harry’s Grammy performance was not upto scratch it wasn’t their favourite. Within minutes they got asks accusing them of not being a good fan and they backtracked and said they didn’t like the choreography etc. So, it’s perfectly acceptable to say that you don’t like anything Louis does but you can’t even say one of Harry’s performance was bad. I don’t think Louis can ever win over Larries. It’s a kingdom presided over by Harries. That’s why he needs to get out of this comfort zone that these people will give him enough support to tour for 10 years. Why is he waiting to hit rock bottom when Matt Vines and BMG will say sorry you can play your local theatre man we are off. That’s why the Louies sound like a broken record when we say you need to look out of these “Walls” pun intended that you have built for yourself.

Tea is served.

#piping hot

[thisiskatsblog]

harry & louis have clearly broken up and it's time to accept that, my guess is 2014, early 2015 & they kept the larry shit up until 2016 (the coded messages or whatever) to keep us from being disappointed by it but now it's time to just let it go, they clearly don't want us in fandom and have made that clear time and time again, and it's not good or healthy for lgbtq+ people to stan people who clearly dislike them (both have shown signs they dislike larries, harry recently with his actions ie. taking known larrie things and using them in different contexts like giving his blue bandana to his friend, saying songs we associate with larry is about gemma, etc. and louis with another denial, it's obvious they've been showing contempt for us), it's healthy for all of us lgbtq+ people to just let them go and find other celebrities to focus on, it's torture to stan someone closeted when you're lgbtq+, it's not good for our mental health, even you are stressed and struggling with it so larries need to stop encouraging people to become part of us and just leave for our own good and the good of our mental wellbeing, harry and louis are evil villain gays and have made their beds, now they need to lie in them, we supported them, we created a safe space (despite interviewers and media and others claiming it was harry lol no honey that was all us), we made (most) of the fandom lgbtq+ friendly (you can hear that by the cheers and screams harry gets when he says "we're all a little bit gay" and does gay shit on stage etc) yet they still haven't or won't come out despite all we have done to prove it's safe and welcome for them to do so, whatever we have done is not enough and it never will be so we need to put ourselves first and stop investing our time, energy and money into them.

That’s one way of explaining things for yourself but I’m not sure if it’s the only way or the best way.

There’s definitely been references to a relationship between Louis and Harry since 2016 and in the years after that I actually did have the impression the support was much wanted. There has since been a shift, for sure, but it’s really up to every individual LGBTQ person in this fandom to decide how they want to deal with that.

To be honest, I’ve been receiving anons trying to stop me from “queerbaiting LGBTQ fans into a hostile environment” since long before 2016. But that was and still is a complete misunderstanding of the situation (and of what queer baiting is for that matter). No one lured in the LGBTQ fans. They were already here.

And the safe space that we’ve created, together with Harry, and with Louis - because I think their seemingly positive reactions certainly helped - that’s something I believe we did for those LGBTQ fans first and foremost. It was a positive and constructive outlet for all the frustrations which made the space safer for us.

And yes, we did “our part”, we did so much. If they haven’t come out it doesn’t mean we didn’t do enough. That’s not how coming out works, at all. Creating a safe space doesn’t create any obligation for any queer person to anything.

“Every queer person has the right to come out on their own terms and on their own timeline. They also have the right to choose not to come out at all.”

I repeat: if they haven’t come out,it doesn’t mean we didn’t do enough.

We know that we did, we know we did the right thing, and we know we did all we could.

If the “results” are disappointing compared to the expectations that may have (inadvertently) been created then that is sad, but I don’t believe it deserves anger.

What is more, i really think what we did made a big difference, for so many people in the fandom and, I believe, also for them. Harry picks up flags night after night. Louis’ shows has rainbow lights.

I honestly think that the rainbows in the fandom gave them a means to express themselves in a way that feels comfortable to them without having to say the words and if that is the case then I really think that is valuable.

But again - it was never just about them - it was always for queer fans first and foremost and those queer fans have become so much more visible and so much more comfortable in this fandom. And I think that is really valuable too.

Also I don’t agree that rainbows mean “it’s safe to come out”. It is safer. It never is completely safe. That’s societal homophobia for you. People have many reasons not to come out.

So I think every LGBTQ person in this fandom should make an assessment for themselves: does being here make me happy or not .

If it doesn’t, then by all means, draw your line in the sand.

#harry styles #louis tomlinson #1234antisoutthedoor

[goongiveusnothing]

there were moments he was definitely very into her. i can see him getting caught up and doing it. how are so many people overestimating harry and not assuming he's dumber than a box of rocks and would tattoo a gf's name next to his dick?

Don't know about him he's shitty with all his gfs even though he preaches kindness and is a proud feminist but she was definitely into him not was just into him she was so loyal and in love with him i mean who would leave their lovely family for a known womaniser. And he cheated on her every chance he got but still she stayed and traveled around the world for him yes I know she was benefitting from that relationship I'm not making her a saint or anything but at least she didn't make him stupid or fool in front of anyone like he tried to do with her. During viff I actually felt sorry for her even though I don't have to she did this all to herself both of them are equally problematic and attention seeker so we can't say whose better but harry can bring fame to people who associates themselves to him so those who wants to enjoy their 15 mins fame all they have to do is to praise him and also if he has a partner then he can do whatever he wants behind it even during Coachella cheating rumours his fans were defending him saying these tumors made up larries like why would they do that that's against their narrative as well . We can actually see the admiration on her face when she looks at him even when he was acting cute/stupid in front of the media during the press meet she was just sitting there and looking at him in awe nor did he even glance at her once he couldn't even stand next to her. I've heard some people saying maybe he's probably a very supportive bf in private I mean what's the point of that when your one single word can stop the harassment your girlfriend receiving from your own fans and show what kind and nice bf or perfect person you are but no mr styles would only think about himself and had also threw her under the bus every chance he got. So I don't think he was into her maybe he enjoyed sex but for that they both can take equal blame . His fans (majority Harries) believes he's a hoe but they can't accept the fact he might have slept with her during filming and got caught then ruined a family . He couldn't even say her name out of his mouth so I don't think he'll tattoo it on him. I don't think he's that stupid get her name tattooed like don't give him that much credits he didn't even attend a dinner party honouring her when he was in the same place. But if he did then he stupid than I thought he was who would tattoo names like that . My bff always told me if you're planning to get a name tattooed then it should be either your fam/siblings or someone dead. So we won't regret it later .

Some of his fans are saying that it's Oliver Mitch and Sarah's son's name ( if you know please confirm ) . And he does have the name of his god children's name tattooed ( again idk anyone who knows please confirm) . So maybe it's the kids name but I find it weird why he would tattoo a child's name there . Idk i find it weird he's a weirdo but that's creepy maybe we'll see a hq pic and then confirm.

i definitely think he was in love with her at various points, even though none of his fans or even other people seem to want to accept it now. you don't go through all that crap if you don't like someone. the fact nobody seems to want to accept he even likes her seems like projection. a lot of people dislike olivia, there's a cultural fandom environment which hates her, and obviously his actions now makes them feel emboldened to act like he always hated her, but that's based on their own feelings.

but he's very selfish and manipulative and his behaviour with her shows that. his priority in every relationship will always be himself.

if this is a child's name i think the QAnon's should go to town on him because that is outright fucked up behaviour. that tattoo can only be seen if you almost show your dick in someone's face. how did he show that to a child? get it on your arm or chest or back. why on earth would anyone want a child's name in a place that can only be viewed if you pull your underpants up/down to the point you're almost exposing yourself?

[1d-afterparty]

Nah but I've been observing and keeping my mouth shut, but the way some of y'all larries treat Louis is... disrespectful like?? Not only do you stalk the socials of every woman he has ever associated himself with just so you can find "clues" like creeps but you also associate almost every.little.thing he does with Harry like my man can't even wear the colour green without some of y'all being like "hehe you know what that means 👀...". The way that when Harry tours and and Louis isn't doing anything it obviously means he's hiding behind curtains being the supportive partner that  he is, as if he doesn't have a career of his own to work on?

How some of you claimed Louis wasn't really at a BLM march with Eleanor because he was obviously in America with Harry or how if it was him it was just a “stunt walk”. You really cannot accept the fact that this man was protesting for the lives of others? The lives of people that look like me and people you may personally know? You'd rather be happier with the thought that Louis had an ulterior motive when attending a protest and thus looking like an extremely shitty person because he was hiding away in a different county with Harry or was just walking as a parade to show how he has a girlfriend? How screwed of a mindset must you posses to be like this? I am saying this as a black woman but that was really the moment I was completely and utterly done with you guys. Black people were screaming and crying in that protest how they didn't want to be KILLED and the only thing you took out from that was "oh he only brought Eleanor as a stunt". I mean this from the bottom of my heart, fuck you.

This whole gross mindsets of "if Larry isn't real then Louis is a terrible father" or "if Larry isn't real then Louis has been larrybaiting us" needs to stop. You have attached Larry to Louis so tightly that the thought of the ship not being real makes you think that somehow HE is the villain for your distress. Fun fact: Louis has never been and will never be the reason you are upset about Larry , the world does not revolve around you and your own emotions, Louis does not suddenly become the worst man imaginable that lies to his fans and treats his family like shit because he isn't in a relationship with Harry Styles.

LT2 is coming out soon and I know damn well you won't let this be about him and him only. Louis shouldn't have to disable comments from his videos because people keep spamming "💙💚". This man deserves to enjoy his solo career that has been held back for SO LONG without having to be attached to a man he hasn’t been seen in public with for over 5 years.

Unlarry all you want but the second you decide to stop supporting Louis because he “betrayed” you , like no offence dont let the door hit you on the way out, you never cared about him just how he was one half of a ship you stupidly decided to dedicate your life and mental wellbeing too

#louis tomlinson #theres also how some of them used his mothers own death as larry evidence #which is disgusting but i dont feel comfortable talking about iit in the post #anyways i HOPE he blocks green and blue emojis fron his insta comments come LT2

[alltheselights]

I don’t know if you saw what happened with The Academics and The Cribs but I am so sick of the people around Louis disrespecting Louis like they do. The Academics, The Cribs, Shade. None of them deserve Louis and it makes me sad because larries contribute to this disrespect so much and they don’t see it. They obviously don’t control what people like or repost and everything but why would you need to comment on a post about Louis from a band he obviously likes and had perform at his festival and who were being cute about him with something about Harry (this is what happened with The Cribs, for instance)? I don’t call myself a larrie because I don’t want to be associated with larries and also because I see Louis and Harry as separate people and treat them as such. Louis’ team and label are terrible, yes, and he has been blacklisted in the industry clearly and his label/team don’t do anything to try to get around that but I don’t think larries help with how they are. Larries are seen as gullible because all someone has to do is suggest they believe in larrie or whatever and they fall for it. Some larries genuinely believe hld have either an in with Louis or Harry’s people, with Louis or Harry themselves or are Louis or Harry, or that “big” larrie accounts have in’s too. Yes, larries disrespect Harry too but not like they do Louis and Louis also has much less protection in the industry than Harry does. I don’t like Harry’s team or label either but they are very good at their jobs and have the power and influence and ambition to have gotten Harry to where he is. I hate it because when solo louies say larries don’t truly care about Louis, I want to say they do but time and again, one will do something which proves otherwise and it hurts. We shouldn’t do this, we should support them as separate people and not link them all the time, and definitely not do it on posts made by people in the industry they work with or have worked with

The immaturity of the fandom really gets to me these days, tbh. Like....random support acts do not know anything about Louis' relationships and they only want attention. Anybody with common sense should know this, yet people on Twitter go crazy for things like what The Cribs did and it's incredibly embarrassing. Not only for them, but for Louis, which is the worst part.

#asks

[twelvedaysinaugust]

I don’t get why Harry holding up pride flags is still such a huge thing, especially to larries. So many celebrities do it like Ariana, Adele, Shawn mendes, chris martin from Coldplay etc... It’s not that deep. straight musicians do it all the time, as well. Without having the image of a rolemodel and icon to the lgtbq community like Harry has. Holding up pride flags is the least he should do with an image like that.

I know people don’t like comparing them but I gotta say it. Although Louis never has held up a pride flag or has specifically acknowledged queer fans in the way Harry does on stage like helping them coming out and stuff like that I feel so much more supported and safe in Louis space and music. Songs like coacoac or only the brave can feel like a warm hug especially if you are not out yet. Harry mainly talks about sex and getting wasted in his songs. I know it’s just a different way to express your queerness but Louis songs are much deeper and more relatable and just really feel like you are being seen and understood as someone who is part of the lgtbq community. Louis is not even close to being as open and „free“ as Harry seems to be on stage and in his general presence in terms of his sexuality. Harry is more playful but also much more carefree and he doesn’t give much meaning to his actions while Louis does know what kind of significance queer coding holds to queer fans, and so he seems to be more selective but also very thoughtful about his actions when including a queer context. And that’s why I relate more to L and feel like he actually understands what he is doing and talking about when writing and singing songs like that. And he addresses the negative and invasive sides of being queer in our world, as well, where it’s still not accepted everywhere and people are still forced to stay closeted. That’s something I don’t see Harry addressing much and I feel like it’s bc he in general only picks the good sides of being the queer icon he is and avoids any possible bad fallout which a coming out could cause, so he just doesn’t say anything let alone acknowledges that he is part of the community, too. I feel like Harry just does as much queer stuff as possible to stay relatable and believable when in fact it actually doesn’t need all that as we can tell with Louis. Less is more, sometimes. Just some thoughts. Not that deep. Don’t want to question Harry’s sexuality or talk him down. Everybody is free to express themselves the way they want to and I love Harry, too. It’s just something that came to my mind and it’s why I feel more comfortable in Louis fanbase.

I find it really interesting that people can wave and wear Pride flags without it being taken as a coming out. I’m not sure that would have been the case even, like, fifteen years ago. But you’re right that Harry is not the only artist to wave Pride flags on stage (although the way he helps fans come out at his shows seems noticeably different). At the end of the day, I realize that different queer symbols resonate with different people. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what Harry is doing, but his focus on freedom and outness seems a little ironic when he is, in fact, not out and presumably feels like he can’t come out for a variety of reasons.

I agree that Louis seems a lot more careful and selective about what queer symbols he interacts with. And unlike Harry, they usually seem to symbols associated with the closet and oppression. (My Policeman would be the exception in Harry’s case.) To me, the queer presence at Harry’s shows seems a little different from queer presence at Louis’ shows. Not better or worse, just different.

Also, Louis’ shows were one of the only places where I’ve seen a very visible ace presence. And I thought that was really interesting.

[shiningstarlight]

-

#me: hasn’t listened to the audio yet #also me: it’s surely from **** **** #audio: source is **** **** #me faking surprise: oh would you believe that #fucking hell please learn how to promote your artist before worrying about his private lfie #I bought ten copied of his fucking album that might not be counted because of HIM #not Harry or whoever you want to associate him with #(I mean I bought his album for HIM and not for his partner) #fucking fix this instead of worrying about reality not being seen #bloody hell I never saw such an incompetent bunch of people #who hire even more useless ** to pay #pretending a ********* was made by fans won’t make your reputation better #instead or recording him calling people real and fake fans (also bold of you to assume I haven’t made crazy lunatic my new nickname) #try and help his sales because the whole fandom bought bundles because YOU ALL put them up for people to buy more copies #fucking it up like this I can’t believe y’all are paid #I get nothing in return but these bloody fake things calling ME a fake fans #(also not saying I want anything in return but at least don’t throw shit at me chsjxsj) #go to hell and thank God I know Louis better than this shit #otherwise I’d he out of this hell for good. I am so tired of people like Larries that do a lot being put down #not saying those people don’t do much because I know people support Louis regardless #but you have no idea what I saw from antis #people not even paying with their money for album and basically FORCING their friend to get it #you’re not supporting Louis hun you’re making a fool of yourself #it’s so frustrating because me and my best friend sit here hoping to one day meet Louis and just hug him and these fuckers get to talk with #him and get rewarded for basically shitting about Harry and us all #fuck you really I am so pissed rn #it’s not even about the audio #it’s so many things all together and I am stressed I need to let everything out as a whole #good morning to you too no one’s gonna read all this anyway

[twopoppies]

His fans are largely gen z and gen z (as a generalization and not the assessment of each individual) is incredibly, brutally unkind. Super apathetic, deeply disconnected from the sense of reality that would foster things like compassion and understanding. Raised online where anyone can say anything without major consequence… it makes sense.

What I DON’T like is people associating Harry with these types of fans. He neither chose them nor likely wants them. But as someone who was also completely made by the internet and the fans who supported him/them… I don’t know what he can do. It’s all very frustrating to me. And very complicated, bc while I would want to say that hating Larries so much is intrinsically homophobic, the debate you’ve had recently on your blog about the sort of het Harrie standpoint muddles it. They might not hate gay/queer people, but they hate HIM being gay/queer because then he cannot be with THEM. It’s very fucked and I honestly truly would not want to be him or Louis. Love them to death though.

I started typing a long reply and then I just stopped. All I really have is one giant sigh. This just makes me sad.

#antis

[daydreamrry]

I really can't stand the rep of our fandom when it comes to the people Harry publicly dates, pr or not. The fans put Taylor on blast for literally existing and living her life back in 2012, and then even though I'm personally not fond of Kendall as a person, I definitely don't think she deserved the way directioners treated her and called her an attention seeker just for being seen with H, and then at last they searched the ends of the earth for evidence to make Camille seem problematic and when they couldn't find anything, they edited a bunch of stuff as an excuse to spam vile comments on her social media accounts. Now none of these people were perfect human beings and some were actually worse than others but in no way was it okay for the internet to treat them the way they did just for the sake of their conspiracy theories and personal feelings about these women.

Now when it comes to miss Oily forehead, it's a completely different story. She deserves the criticism, the calling out, all the backlash for her irresponsible and ignorant tendencies and her disgusting actions in the past when she was a grown ass woman. But this is like the boy who cried wolf, nobody believes us now that we claim that we actually have a reason for disliking her.

Everyone assumes that we're just being the crazy fanbase that we are, generalising all of us as immature 14 year old Larry shippers or jealous fangirls without a life, and they refuse to look beneath the surface or even hear us out.

We've exhausted our chances, actually our predecessors, the wild bunch of directioners(not all of them obv, but the ones who were disrespectful) and the deranged Harries have made sure that the gp never takes us seriously and views Omicron as a "poor victim of cruel fans aww, c'mere gurlboss lemme give you a hug and a quirky tshirt (atleast she could finally stop stealing Harry's clothes then) and we're fellow feminists now" and moves on.

I've seen them go like "she's such a badass director, why are y'all scared of strong white straight skinny privileged rich women omg stop hating her you stupid kiddsss" and hence she never gets held accountable for her nasty actions.

The ones who claim to be proud HO shippers/believers are either blind people, or being held hostage or paid by Oatmeal to pretend to like/support her, or they're just feeling guilty for the years of unreasonable hate that Harry's partners, both rumoured and confirmed had recieved and now trying to redeem themselves by going ride or die for Omnipotence and being the "nice, respectful fans" as if Harry would give them a cookie for it or something (even if he did, that cookie would have a shipping charge so idk what delusional utopia these people are living in...oh right, that utopia is just the USA, sorry for being shady uhh anywaysss)

So long story short, I'm tired of us being portrayed as the bad guys for treating Origami the way she deserves to be treated, you gotta walk on eggshells in Twitter so they don't just say "well if she's problematic, then your fav LoVeS her and DaTeS herrr...so mathematically speaking, he's problematic too so stfuuuu " like no you stfu, you're gonna explain to these people that it's a stunt they're gonna pull the "why does HE need a stunt he's already famous af" like bestie I'm gonna run out of breath explaining this concept to your pea sized brain but I'll try anyways only for you to respond "Nice try but I ain't reading all that" like?? Then why did you ask if you're that rigid and airheaded?

And the infamous "you only hate Onion(I'm running out of names for her now) because she's DaTiNg Harry you didn't even care about her earlier"....umm, maybe because she was irrelevant af before she was associated with him? Connect the fucking dots?

Nvm I forgot these people have like 3 and a half mini braincells yet dominate the entirety of that bird app, I wonder why...yes, because that bird app is the place which makes hell looks like the Bahamas, yet it dominates the internet. I'm sorry for ranting but I'm so tired of people supporting Oak tree that much, she deserves to rot.

👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

A very happy new year to you Sea, I hope we all have a great Louis year.

I was speaking to one of my friends recently and she asked me why doesn’t Louis just come out. It will be overall so much better for him considering almost 98% of his fans think he is queer anyway. That got me thinking that if Louis does come out but says that he is with someone other than Harry then the Larries will throw so much hatred at him and his partner. Most of them will say that Louis is lying and will find everything possible to hate on his partner. They don’t even leave his friends and family alone. Larries don’t really care about Louis being able to come out as queer, they only care about Louis being Harry’s partner. I think that’s why it will be even worse for Louis if he really did want to come out. I think this is the reason why he is trying to keep that part of his life totally out of public attention.

Louis’ solo musical career is just beginning. He has just released the best album to date, with the best songs he ever wrote (I would argue some of the best ex-1D solo songs), but there’s no media attention to it whatsoever.

You can see why Louis’ promo for FITF focuses so much on music and not on his personal life, to the extent of Louis not associating his life to the lyrics in FITF songs. The scrutiny on Walls lyrics in effect closed the songs to an outside public. It may have drawn in new Larries, but that’s not really widening his GP listening audience, and it’s not really giving him any credit in the industry.

Music should have legs. People should be able to enjoy a good song 20 years after it’s written. An artist cannot let his personal life be 90% of the public’s attention on him, especially without industry support for his music.

Harry Styles is going to get that attention and respect, regardless of how he got there, who actually wrote his songs, or what the quality of the music is— because he has industry backing. Not so for Louis, unless he can break through himself, on his own merits. That means keeping his head down and working harder.

Audiences are also notoriously fickle and homophobic. With all of Harry’s industry success (he will most likely be the most profitable artist of 2022), Harry Styles doesn’t feel he can come out, and can’t even admit he was dating Olivia Wilde for two years.

Coming out right now would END Louis’ career. If post-1D hiatus has taught me anything, it’s that most fans are very easy to manipulate with propaganda and flashy, gaudy trends. Most 1D fans did not actually dislike Sony/ 1DHQ/ Ticketmaster/ Capital FM/ Ben Winston/ Corden etc. Most fans easily switched their loyalty when Sony manufactured a clear winner. Hence we see the Harry Styles fandom thriving today.

#louis tomlinson #harry styles #sony music #directioners #one direction

[thisiskatsblog]

The hypocrisy of larries reblogging that post when it is larries who disregard their words about their sexuality. Louis said he is in fact straight but you dismiss him, you shut him up every day. Your blatant biphobia is the reason why you claim Harry hates women. How do you know Harry's sexuality when he didn't declare it? What gives you the right to shut Louis up, dismiss his words while forcing a sexuality on Harry who never declared it? You are so biphobic you can't even fathom Harry as a bi

Which post am I not allowed to reblog and for which reason? When did I ever say Harry hates women? He certainly doesn’t as he says himself he has been brought up by women and as far as I can see he does love to have women in his band. Also when the fuck did Harry ever say he was bi? Because by your own standards if he never explicitly said that then you are the one slapping a label on him that he never declared and you are a homophobic ass.

Also when did I say he was anything for certain (besides one hyperbolic post a million years ago)? I’ve only expressed that I think he is was/is in a relationship with Louis that’s all. No one has ever come to tell me not to do that when the speculation is about a different gendered couple so there’s much to say about your attitude in that account too.

As far as what Harry has and hasn’t said - as far as I can recall, he has said he doesn’t think he’s bi (written interview - no live confirmation), that gender isn’t important in a significant other (which could mean bi but he didn’t say that), and that he prefers not to use any labels (so yeah probably not straight but you’re very much not respecting that with your insistence he must be bi).

Harry never labelled himself. I am fine with that. What the hell is your fucking problem with me.

Oh is it my insistence that Louis should not leave the pernicious “I am in fact straight” tweet on his Twitter? Because let me tell you, that tweet makes him look like a homophobic ass and I don’t think it’s a good look on him. Or anyone for that matter. Because there was really no reason for him to insist on that I hope you remember this correctly. It was after Harry “came out” of sorts saying he didn’t think gender was important. And Louis had worn something rainbow coloured the week after. And a journalist had interpreted that as him being supportive of his apparently non-straight band mate. And then he hate tweeted the journalist and felt it necessary to clarify he was in fact straight when the journalist hadn’t even so much as suggested he was not that. So to get you on the message here: someone said “how great of you Louis to act like a true ally and support Harry saying gender doesn’t matter to me” and Louis’ tweet said “Fuck you I wasn’t supporting Harry and I am certainly NOT GAY how could you possibly think that?” (While she didn’t say anything of the sort).

If you don’t wish to be seen as an ally…. That’s homophobic, there is no middle ground there. And if any association with ally ship and rainbows makes you feel the need to assert that you are straight then you’re certainly not comfortable with homosexuality - if not actively homophobic it at least caters to societal homophobia where any association with “gay” is to be avoided. So yeah I fucking hate that tweet and wish for it to disappear into nothingness forever because it hurts me as a queer, bisexual person. It hurts me to think that Louis would not want to be seen as supporting someone like me for whom gender doesn’t factor into the attraction they feel to someone. It really really does.

I really wish he’d shut up about that article in the independent about his support to Harry. That’s not the same as dismissing anything he says about his sexuality. But let’s just say I did see those boners he had for Harry. And from experience, I had my fair share of lady boners for girls before I managed to understand let alone say out loud to anyone that I wasn’t straight. I’m not going to tell Louis what or who he is. That’s up to him and if he considers himself straight and/or wants to be seen as straight even when he doesn’t consider himself so that’s his choice. He just shouldn’t be a homophobic douche about it on Twitter.

#for clarity I don’t think Louis is a homophobic douche #he has shown many times that he is fine with lgbtq people and his entire ducking festival theme is rainbow colours #so yeah #that tweet is so suss #I mean #Freddie is one thing I don’t comprehend #but they tweet is not what I would use as proof as it proves rather the opposite

[watermelonlovershigh]

And i feel you about larry stuff, twitter is so full of larries, they talk shit about Louis son and post sexual drawing of Harry and Louis, they have no shame or respect for them

YES!!! like i used to say i was a neutral (would support if they came out) but now i think i'm an anti. Not that i wouldn't support if they came out but being labeled a neutral is still associating yourself with the larry shippers in some way.

And a lot of what larries do is make things that should be normalized between men and make it not normal by calling it 'gay' or making it have to do with a 'gay ship'. Like hugging, being close to one another, sitting together. All things men can't do without being called gay because people like them.

Most of the time when i get into fights with larries on tiktok, they always go back to "but they're being closeted." So Fucking What! Yes closeting anyone is bad, but when you have zero proof and don't know them personally, there is no need to make it your business to talk about it because it won't help anything. They act like if they talk about larry, they're helping them come out.

Or the say they are queer bating. HOW?? All they're doing is stereotyping characteristics of a sexuality. Plus, they are almost 30 yr old men. Why would they be queer bating to fans. They wouldn't want fans help because they know its not a fans business.

Something i've noticed, is when a larrie has "proof", its always blurry photos, unreliable news articles, or some crazy theory they collectively decided to believe.

Most of the larries i see are older than 18 and it blows my mind. I'll be 21 tomorrow and i could never be that invested on a SHIP that has never been proven real and talk about it like its my business.

Louis and Harry could literally come out today and say they have been together for 10 yrs and it still wouldn't be anyone's business but their own. I feel fans should NOT have the right to talk about 1D boys relationships unless its public knowledge and even then to a respectful minimal. Like Zayn and Gigi.

And you're right. They don't respect Louis and Harry. They dissect every photo they're in and ever video they're in, and then wonder why they post the least. Hhmmm, probably because they don't want to be viewed through a fucking magnified glass.

#harryhoney bee #larriedni

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Larries are harmful to Louis and Harry, no matter if you go lengths trying to justify what the vast majority of this fandom do, it is harmful and this comes from a "Larrie", which i hate that I go by that name in default just because I believe they're together.

It is harmful when the fandom is invasive in a way their families have to carefully move on social media and in life so they won't create more rumours. Or do we think Anne wouldn't want to celebrate and like posts of Louis' milestones on her feed? Of course she would, because before any romantic relationship with her son, she loves Louis and loved Jay, but she probably refrains to do anything because at the smaller interaction, her or Louis' comments and messages are full of blue and green and "larry is real" comments. The same goes for Gemma and Lottie and how they slowly stopped interacting as much to not cause commotion, or everyone related to them really.

Helene is now called the captain because the poor woman probably liked one tweet out of innocence, and reposted larries on her stories about her ebook which she's so excited about but now people use her hardwork just to get a notice from her.

Larries are more harmful for Harry than Louis though.

Larries without shame support and are willingly to work more for Louis than Harry just because the latter, despite his closeting, has a good team working for his success. And when people call out this behaviour from Larries, here on tumblr or any platform, they just simply ignore or say "they love and support both equally" when they basically pity Louis and believe Harry "has enough success" already.

It is harmful when larries prefer to interpret their art just in a romantic way when there's so much more behind than metaphors of love for the other one, Fine Line is more about Harry's journey than love words for Louis.

It is harmful when Larries project their own expectations on their lives and if something don't go accordingly their theories, there's a huge distress in the fandom. A recent example is Harry's female orgasm comment. Larries are ready to cancel harry's every move but tolerate and excuse Louis' ones.

When Louis went to Tulum "he was there for work" but Harry filming Golden MV was irresponsible to no end. It turned out the Tulum trip was just a 3-5 minutes part of the documentary for the "aesthetics" on a beach.

I can list you dozens of injustices Larries do against Harry but let it pass for Louis.

And about Louis, Larries are harmful because even with a fake child in the picture and a dying mother, Larries managed to make his life a joke for the general public in 2016/2017. And it was Larries doing it because the media was doubting about the kid, everybody did. But as soon as the "Larry conspiracy" entered the topic, the media and took that to make fun of Louis instead of keeping questioning the veracity of the paternity.

And it makes sense why Louis changed many aspects of his life, from hidding his friendships so people would stop associating larry to them, his outtings, his clothes, become more private and invisible to the point he manages to blend in the crowd most of the time just to have some peace from such invasive group of people.

But you're, of course, on your right to believe this fandom is alright.

Oh anon - this is a very odd response to my post. First because there is no connection between what I said and your last sentence.

But also because I was talking about the importance of boundaries in fandom and this ask is an excellent illustration of a lack of boundaries.

Even if it was true that Larries support Louis more and 'work harder' for him - that's not harmful to Harry. Nobody is entitled to fan support or labour.

You also make a lot of assumptions about how much Harry knows and cares about the minutiae of fan response to what he does. It's possible that fans criticising him filming Golden did Harry harm, anxiety is a complex thing. But to assume it's true is absurd.

I agree that a lot of the things you talk about are, or might be, harmful, but I don't think you are particularly interested in a framework for how fans might think about what would harm Harry and Louis. Not everything that annoys you about this fandom is doing harm to Harry and Louis.

#Oh anon #oh fandom

[alltheselights]

Hey so I am a solo louie, I follow you despite you being a larrie because I think you are super level headed and quite frankly I love that you separate how you feel about their relationship and their career your damn good writer too. I became a fan last year and I am well aware that for the most part larries don’t believe that child is his. Apart of me thinks that is just crazy but another knows that the entertainment industry is also batshit crazy so anything can happen. What I don’t understand is the point of it , nobody really cares and there is no way he would come out of this without without ruining his life and like I just don’t see how the whole thing makes any sense. None of it makes any logical sense like how do they plan all of this to end and why ?

VERY long response under the read more!

I think the key thing you’re forgetting is that when this started, people DID care. This didn’t start in 2017 or 2020 - Louis’ heavy closeting with Eleanor started all the way back in 2011 (a much different time then now) and babygate started in 2015. Louis was in the biggest band in the world and there were continual widespread rumors about him and his bandmate being together - his bandmate who was set up as the heartthrob frontman from the beginning of the band and I think starting in 2014 (or whenever Jeff first entered the picture) was looking toward an eventual future solo career, which is exactly what Sony wanted.

I think part of it was just to shut down the rumors with Harry, who again, I think Sony has always viewed as their money machine, and also just because just as many boybands before them, One Direction was marketed to girls as objects of their lust - boys the fans could fantasize about dating. I don’t believe any of the boys who may have identified as LGBTQ+ would have been permitted to come out while in the band because of this marketing strategy, but especially not Louis, who many stereotyped as gay from day one of the band and who many shipped specifically with the most popular of the heartthrob members.

I think the other big part of it is just punishment for Louis and always has been. Not only did he threaten their bottom line by not fitting into the cookie cutter One Direction straight boy mold that Sony clearly wanted and expected from all the boys, but he also fought for One Direction to become more than Sony/Syco wanted them to be. They expected the band to make them a lot of money with bubble gum pop songs for a few years and then burn out quickly when they’d overworked them too much and when all the girls turned toward a new shiny boyband or artist on the horizon, but what they didn’t account for was the fact that rather than falling in line, Louis and the others would fight to write more on the albums and Louis specifically would fight for them to mature their sound. And Louis was very successful in that because even though One Direction was not at their peak popularity with some of their later, more mature, and more well-written albums, they developed a fanbase with that music that would’ve stuck around long-term, not just for their personalities and pretty faces but for the actual music, which I suspect would never have happened if they’d just continued on their generic path that Sony set them on.

Most solo Louies recognize the sabotage of his career with his lack of promo, the fact that he is never protected or defended in the media by his team, and how they push his personal life as a focal point for most promo rather than his talent and music. If you can recognize that, it’s probably not that hard to imagine that they could saddle him with a beard and a fake child to double down on his heterosexuality and then continue it out of spite, fully recognizing that they have tied his hands in terms of his public image because it’s been so long of this, media trained him out of showing his true personality and mannerisms for years, and alienated him from large portions of his fanbase - because Larries are NOT the only group of his fans that suspect he is not straight - I know tons of solo Louies do as well.

The question of why it’s continuing today is a great one and I wish I had the answer and could see what’s happening behind the scenes. If Louis had finally gotten rid of Sony and Syco last year and immediately his solo career started improving, suggesting that his team was finally working for him and doing their jobs properly, and still the stunts continued, I think it would make sense to start to wonder whether Louis wanted that for himself. However, that’s not what happened at all. Louis still has the same management and PR, PR that has always been associated with Sony and Syco, by the way, and there have been no improvements to anything related to his career. I understand that there are limitations because he hasn’t toured or put out a new album yet, but I think you just have to see the lack of press, promo, and even basic respect and recognition around his massive record-breaking livestream in December and his upcoming festival to see that things haven’t changed. LTHQ on Twitter continues to be as useless as ever, Louis’ social media is rarely used to promote his career, and there has been no attempt to build hype for the future music that Louis is working on aside from a single set of pap pictures outside of the studio. These are some of the most basic things that a normal team would be working on, particularly considering how massive Louis’ platform is and how excited his fans have been even throughout the pandemic.

Louis watches what his fans say about everything on Twitter, and when he’s able to, he changes things with a snap of his fingers to ensure that his fans are happy. There’s no doubt in my mind that Louis has watched fans continue to complain about his team over the last year, yet nothing ever changes or improves, and he occasionally makes subtle nods to the fact that his support and successes are thanks to the fans only - never his team. It’ll be interesting to see what happens when he releases new music, but at least as of now, I think it’s evident that Louis is still not being positioned for success in his career with the team that he’s with, even after leaving Syco/Sony.

Without knowing what contracts Louis has signed over the years and how long they are binding, it’s impossible for fans to know how free he is officially, so all we can do is go off of what we see. And what I see right now is that nothing has changed with his career, and so while it seems absurd, it doesn’t actually shock me that much that other elements haven’t changed either. I also think it’s going to be very difficult for them to end babygate in particular at this point, which is probably something at the forefront of their minds.

So I can’t answer for why it hasn’t ended or when and how it will, but I can tell you that as long as his career is not prioritized by anyone around him, I find it very hard to believe that he is 100% free to make his own choices. Even if commercial success is not Louis’ number one priority, we’ve seen so many times how much it means to Louis when he does well on the charts. I do sometimes worry that Louis has given up and resigned himself to this fate because of how long he’s been sabotaged - I’ve worried about this particularly in the last year or so - but I still don’t believe this is all his choice. You can’t convince me that this person who was so clever with how to mature the band in One Direction, this person who has so much interest in the back end of the music industry, this person who has fought tooth and nail for a solo career that nobody thought he could pull off, this person who cares so deeply about what his fans think, is content with the team around him not bothering to do the basics of their job - to the constant widespread and loudly expressed frustration of his fanbase. And as a result, I suspect that babygate and Elounor are likely still around for the same reasons the rest hasn’t improved.

#i think this got incoherent toward the end #hopefully you get what i'm saying #asks

[whitehotharlots]

Previewing the 2024 Democrat Primary

Within a couple weeks of his being sworn in, just about every person on earth will wish Joe Biden was no longer president. Sure, the few surviving John B. Anderson voters will be thrilled to see 4 years of crushing austerity and half-assed attempts at Keynesian stimulus. But most people will begin dreaming about a brighter future.

Good news! The 2024 Democratic primary field is going to contain dozens of options. Bad news! They are all going to be disgusting piles of shit. 

The “top tier”

While it’s too early to do any handicapping, these are the candidates the media will treat as having the most realistic chances of securing the nomination. 

Kamala Harris

Kamala did not win a single primary delegate in 2020. This is because she dropped out before the first primary, and that was because no one likes her. She has no base beyond a few thousand of twitter’s most violent psychos. Her disingenuousness approaches John Edwards levels: any halfway incredulous person can see immediately beyond her bullshit. She has no principles whatsoever, and while that may be par for the course for Democrats, she lacks even the basic politician’s ability to intuit anything that might, hypothetically, constitute a principle. 

Even better: she is an awful public speaker. She sounds like how a talking dog would speak if he were just caught stealing people food off the kitchen table. She communicates in weird grunts and faux sassy squeaks, which is how she imagines real black women sound like, but something about her is unable to sell the bit. She begins her sentences in halfhearted AAVE, stops and panics halfway through as she realizes that maybe this sounds fake and offensive, and then reminds herself oh wait, no, this is okay since I’m black. This doesn’t happen once or twice per speech. This is how every single sentence sounds. 

Kamala is like Nancy Pelosi in that no sketch show will ever impersonate her correctly, because anything that came close to authenticity would be considered far too cruel. This might benefit her in the primaries, as she exists in the minds of Democrats as someone and something she absolutely is not in reality. Nominating her would be like allowing your child’s imaginary friend to attempt to drive you to the store. 

Andrew Cuomo

Easily one of the 50 worst people alive, Cuomo has a solid chance because Democrats, same as Republicans, are unable to differentiate between electability and self-serving ruthlessness. Cuomo used the deadliest public health crisis in American history as a pretext for cutting Medicaid and firing 5,000 MTA workers, and his approval rating increased. New York Dems are little piggies who love eating shit. If we assume that the political media will continue their habit of refusing to discuss the legislative history of right wing Democrats, Cuomo might well cruise to the nomination and then lose to literally any human being the GOP nominates by an historic margin. 

Joe Biden

The party loves him because he is a right wing racist. “Progressives” tolerate him because black primary voters over 40 supported him, and their opinion is supposedly a magic window into god’s truth. Everyone else can tell he is manifestly senile. I don’t put it above the DNC to pick a candidate who is in horrible health, dying, or even dead--whatever the financial sector wants, they’ll get. But I would be shocked if his approval rating is above 39% by mid-2023, and by that point deep fake technology will be advanced enough they’ll put out a very lifelike video in which the Max Headroom version of Joe explains he’s proud of his accomplishments--that budget’s almost balanced already--but, man, I gotta abd--I gotta abdica--, uhh, I gotta, I, uhh, I gotta move down, man. 

Wild Cards

These candidates would have all have a chance if they ran, but they could all much more easily retire to Little Saint James off of kickbacks they’ve gotten from Citibank and I.G. Farben. 

Rahm Emanuel

Rahm is going to receive some hugely influential post in the Biden administration. Let’s say he becomes Secretary of Education. His signature achievement will be replacing all elementary school teachers with Amazon’s Alexa, which saved the taxpayers so much money we were able to quadruple the number of armed police officers we put into high schools. This will give him several thousand positive profiles on network news programs and the near-universal support of the Silicon Valley vampires who will own 99% of the country by the time Biden’s term ends. They will use their fancy mind control devices to convince geriatic primary voters that Rahm’s the one who will bring Decency back to the white house. His candidacy will be the paragon of wokeness, as expressing concern toward the fact that he covered up the police murder of a black guy will get you called a racist. 

Rahm has a bonus in that Jewish men are now Schrodeniger’s PoC. When they are decent human beings, they are basic, cis white men who are stealing attention from disabled trans candidates of color. When they love austerity and apartheid, they become the most vulnerable people of color on earth and criticizing them in any way is genocide. No one will be able to mention a single thing Rahm has ever done or said without opening themselves to accusations of antisemitism, and that gives him a strong edge against the rest of the field. The good news is that an Emmanuel candidacy would result in over 50% of black voters choosing the GOP candidate--which, I guess that’s not really good but it would certainly be funny. 

Gavin Newsom

Newsom is every bit as feckless as Cuomo, but he doesn’t put off the same “bad guy in an early Steven Segal movie” vibes. He will mention climate change 50 times per speech and no one will bother to mention how he keeps signing fracking contracts even though his state is now on fire 11 months of the year. If anything, this will be spun into an argument about how he’s actually the candidate best suited to handle all the water refugees gathering on the southern border. Look for his plan to curb emissions by 10% by the year 2150 to get high marks from Sierra Club nerds. He’s also a celebate librarian’s idea of what constitutes a handsome man, so he’ll have some support from the type of women who claim to hate all men. 

Larry Summers

I mean, why not? Larry, like most members of the Obama administration, has politics that are eerily similar to those of Jordan Peterson. In normal circumstances, this makes a person a dangerous fascist who should not be platformed. But if that person has a D next to their name this makes them a realistic pragmatist who has what it takes to bring suburban bankers into our tent. If current trends in Woke Phrenology continue apace, Larry’s belief that women are inherently bad at STEM will be liberal orthodoxy by 2023, and his dedication to the Laffer Curve could see him rake in massive donations. Seriously, I’m not kidding: cultural liberalism is now fully dedicated to identity essentialism and balanced budgets. Larry is their ideal candidate. If he were black and/or a woman, I’d put him in the very top tier. 

Jay Inslee

Unlike Newsom, Inslee’s attempt to crown himself the King of Global Warming won’t be immediately derailed, since his state is only on fire because of protestors. This, however, poses a different problem. He’s going to be a good test case for the Democrat’s uneasy peace with the ever increasing share of the electorate who become catatonic upon hearing a pronoun. On the one hand, you need to take their votes for granted. On the other hand, they’re not like black people or regular gays: most voters actively, consciously despise wokies, and associating yourself with them will ruin a campaign even in deep blue areas. There’s still gonna be riots in a year. Biden’s gonna announce the sale of all our nation’s potable water to the good folks at Nestle and some trans freak named Sasha-Malia DeBalzac is going to use that as an opportunity to sell their new pamphlet about how it’s fascist to not burn down small businesses. No matter what Inslee does in response, it’ll end his career. 

AOC

I’m not one of those “AOC is a secret conservative” weirdos, but I am aware enough of basic reality to know she has zero chance of coming close to the nomination. The right and the center both regard her as a literal demon. The party is already blaming her for the fact that a handful of faceless Reagan acolytes failed to flip their suburban districts even though they ran on sensible pragmatic proposals like euthanizing the homeless. The recriminations will only get more unhinged when the Dems eat shit in the 2022 midterms. She will be a Russian, she will be white male, she will be a communist, she will be a homophobe: any insult or conspiracy theory you can name, MSNBC will spend hours discussing. Her house seat challenger will receive a record amount of support from the DNC in 2024 and it’ll be all she can do to remain in congress.

Larry Hogan

Don’t be dissuaded by the fact that he’s a Republican. Larry is the DNC’s ideal candidate: a physically repulsive conservative who owes his entire career to appealing to the most spiteful desires of suburban white people. He’s an open racist in a material sense--if you’re old-school enough to think racism is a matter of beliefs and actions, rather than the presence of cultural signifiers--but his is the beloved “never Trump” style of racism that Dems covet. He’s also a Proven Leader who thinks the role of government should be to finance the construction of investment property and give police the resources they need to run successful drug trafficking operations. Few people embody the Democrat worldview more than Larry. 

The Losers Bracket

These people will have at least a small chance due solely to the fact that the Democrats love losing. They have lost in the past, and in the Democrat Mind that makes them especially qualified.

Joe Kennedy

The man looks like a mushroom-human hybrid from a JRPG. Trump proved that physical hideousness need not doom a presidential bid, but a candidate still needs some kind of charm or oratorical abilities or, god forbid, a decent platform. Joe aggressively lacks all of these things. A vanity campaign would be a good way to raise money and perhaps secure an MSNBC gig, so Joe might still run. 

Mayor Pete 

I am 100% convinced that Pete’s 2020 run was a CIA plot meant to prevent working class Americans from ever having a chance of living decent lives. I am also 100% aware that Democrats are dumb enough to enthusiastically support a CIA plot meant to prevent working class Americans from ever having a chance of living decent lives. If we have some sort of military or terror disaster between now and 2023 the Dems are sure to want a TROOP, and wait wait wait you’re telling me this one is a gay troop? Holy hell there’s no way that could lose!

Stacy Abrams

Never underestimate the power of white guilt. She lost the gubernatorial race to Gomer Pyle’s grandson, and her spiritual guidance of the Dems saw the party lose black voters in Georgia in 2020. Nonetheless, she is regarded as a magic font of fierceness within the DNC. She might stand a chance if she can establish herself as the most conservative non-white candidate in the field, but there’s going to be stiff competition for that honor.

Elizabeth Warren

Liz is probably angry that the party so shamelessly sold her out even after she was a good little girl and sabatoged Bernie’s campaign for them--yet another example of high ranking US government officials reneging on their promises to the Native American community. Smdh. The fact that this woman hasn’t been bankrupted a dozen times over by various Wallet Inspectors genuinely astounds me. So Liz is probably going to run again, and her campaign will be even sadder the second time around. 

It might surprise you to hear this if you don’t work at a college or NGO, but Liz diehards actually do exist. She’ll get even less support this time because there will be no viable leftist in the field for her to spoil, but she’ll still hang in long enough to make sure the very worst possible candidate beats out the second worst possible candidate. Maybe she’ll fabricate a rape accusation against Sherrod Brown. Maybe she’ll spend her entire allotted debate time doing a land acknowledgment. With Liz, anything is possible--so long as it ends in failure. 

Amy Klobuchar 

Amy was the most bloodthirsty of the 2020 also rans. She will double down on the unpopular failures of the Biden administration, explaining that if you weren’t such a selfish idiot you’d love the higher social security retirement age and oh my god are so such a moron you think you shouldn’t go bankrupt to get a COVID vaccine? There’s a non-unsubstantial segment of the Democratic base that’s self-hating enough to find this appealing, but it won’t be enough to make her viable. 

Martha Coakley

She lost Ted Kennedy’s senate seat to a retarded man who was pretending to be even more retarded than he actually was. Then she lost a gubernatorial race to a guy who openly promised Massachusetts voters that he would punish them for electing him. Her record of failure is unparalleled, making her perhaps the ideal Democrat standard bearer for the twenty twenties.