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ninja-go-to-therapy · 3 years

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Febuwhump 6: Insomnia

Alternate Prompt: Truth Serum

This one was co-written with the incredibly amazing @reesiereads!

Summary: While cleaning out the attic of an old mansion, Louie finds a golden amulet. It’s just his luck that it turns out to be cursed.

Trigger Warnings: violence, burning, self hatred, and brief suicidal ideation

1925 words

Looking around the dirty mansion, Louie found himself disappointed. There was nothing of worth around anywhere, not even the creepy, old attic.

“The Manor is better then this place,” he grumbled as the family picked through the boxes in the attic, “and that’s full of deadly artifacts!”

“What did you expect?” Huey asked him, glancing up from an old book he was flipping through, “no one’s lived here in centuries, and they probably took all of the valuable stuff with them when they fled the local wildfires.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbled, “but not even a penny?”

Then he saw it: a golden chain hanging loosely out of one of the many boxes around them. He could tell it was real too, with the way it shined as light filtered in through the small window at the front of the attic.

Huey trailed his eyesight, before frowning, “Louie I don’t think you should—”

“It’s gold, Huey! I’m not about to just pass that up.”

Walking over to the box, he carefully pulled on the chain. It revealed an amulet, made of real gold with a giant ruby at the bottom. “Oh my god,” Louie said, “do you know how much this is worth? Why would somebody leave this behind?”

Huey came to stand next to him, looking annoyed as he watched Louie slip the necklace over his head. “Probably for a good reason. Seriously, you shouldn’t mess with it.”

But it was too late; as soon as Louie placed it over his head the ruby began to glow a bright, blood red. He tried to tug it off, but the golden chain burned his hands, sticking to his body like glue. He met Huey’s eye, and while the duckling looked concerned, he also seemed smug, like he was proud to have been right.

Not being able to stop himself, Louie felt his mouth open and force out words he had never wanted to say out loud.

“I don’t think you care about me.”

Louie clamped his beak shut.

Why had he said that? Why had he said that?

He almost missed Huey’s quiet “...what?”, but it was there all the same.

“I don’t — I didn’t...” why had he said that? “I don’t think I’m worth anything.”

Realizing it must have been the necklace (oh god, it was cursed, wasn’t it), he clutched at it desperately, ignoring the searing pain. He had to get it off. He had to shut up.

“What’s going on?” Dewey asked, having noticed the commotion. The rest of the family followed him over.

Panic gripped him, tight and suffocating. Don’t say anything else, he begged himself. Just stay quiet.

To his horror, he found himself looking directly at Della. “I don’t think you love me.”

He watched in horror as her face fell, eyes squeezing shut as if she were forcing herself not to cry. Great, now he had hurt his brother and his mom. What was next? Would the necklace force him to hurt each family member one by one? Louie didn’t know, and he was terrified to find out.

“I-I think it’s the necklace,” Huey stuttered, hands clutching the book in his hands tightly, “it must be cursed somehow.”

“Then get it off!” Dewey yelped, looking at Della with large eyes of concern.

Before he could stop himself, Louie looked directly at his second oldest brother. “I think you love Mom more than me.”

He felt sick. “Stop,” he whispered, as if he could make the curse go away by will alone. As if his own vocal cords would listen to him. “Stop, god please stop—” he cried out as the burn only seemed to increase.

“Let go of the blasted thing, lad!” Scrooge all but demanded.

Reluctantly, he did as he was told, whimpering as it only seemed to bury itself deeper against his feathers.

“I think you see me as a nuisance,” Louie blurted out.

He could feel tears gathering in his eyes, hands clenched around his hood. He didn’t pull it up though, it wouldn’t change anything. Nothing could make him feel better until he got the stupid necklace off.

His hands hurt, feathers all burnt away to reveal a chain pattern against his skin. The pain at least gave him something to focus on, an escape from his own mouth and thoughts.

He knew he was hurting his family, that his words were cutting new wounds. That was why he had never said anything, all too aware at how awful his thoughts could hurt.

Huey stood off to the side, the book he had been clutching earlier now on the floor. He must have dropped it at some point.

Della stood to his right, a silent Dewey clutching her shirt. She was crying now, hot tears rolling down her cheeks.

Scrooge stared at the amulet, his brow furrowed. Louie wasn’t sure what he was thinking, but he doubted it was good.

His Uncle Donald just looked heartbroken.

“I think all I do is hurt people” he mumbled, tongue and beak moving of their own accord.

The truth was supposed to set you free. That's what all the wise old people said, at least. Them and the children’s cartoons that had to teach the kids good life lessons.

But as Louie kept going, words forming in his throat against his will, he’d never felt a greater weight over him.

His family looked so upset. Of course they did. Him and his stupid thoughts, things they were never supposed to hear, could only serve to cause other people pain.

And the words wouldn’t stop coming.

The amulet still wouldn’t budge, and he was beginning to be scared that it never would.

“I — uh—” Louie could feel another confession trying to force its way up his throat, and while he had no idea what it was, he would do anything to stop it from coming out. He grit his teeth, feeling his eyes start to sting from unshed tears.

It wasn’t fair, why was it always him? No one else (besides his Uncle Donald) were constantly getting hurt or screwed over by evil magical artifacts. No one else had ever been forced to reveal their darkest secrets and insecurities in front of their whole family. No one else had to deal with hurting their whole family against their will.

He could feel a sob rising in the back of his throat, threatening to spill out from his mouth just like his awful secrets. Louie hated that he cried so much, that he was so sensitive. The rest of his family was strong and capable, but all Louie ever managed to do was mess things up.

It went on for what must have been forever. Secret after secret forcing its way out, each one worse than the last.

Nobody was ever supposed to know any of this, but now there was no way to stop it. The amulet wouldn’t let him stop until every fear and insecurity had been spoken.

Huey had been right. Huey was almost always right. And Louie, true to his stupid, selfish nature, hadn’t listened.

Huey was so… ugh. He was so much smarter than Louie was.

Another confession spilled out, followed by a sob that he’d done everything to repress.

His family looked torn between standing there and actually trying to do something. He wouldn’t blame them for just standing there, though. After all he’d said, what he was still saying, he’d hurt them too deeply.

He didn’t deserve their help.

“I’m s-sorry,” he choked out, hiccuping as another sob wracked his body. I can’t s-stop I—”

I can’t stop hurting you.

His hands were still sensitive from the burns, and they stung painfully as he wiped tears away. The pain gave him a focus though, an escape from his thoughts and the awful situation.

He could hear someone crying, but it was hard to tell who with his vision swimming. It was getting hard to breathe between his sobs, his chest burning with the need for more air.

It hurt, everything hurt.

It hurt so much that he barely even registered it when it stopped.

A final confession — “Sometimes I think I’d be better off dead.” — and that was it. The glow of the ruby dimmed, the chain suddenly feeling much looser around his neck.

Louie, hands shaking, all but ripped the amulet off, sinking to the floor in defeat. It was off. But his family knew everything.

He didn’t look up. He couldn’t bear to see their hurt or disappointed looks, so he just kept his eyes squeezed shut as he sobbed.

For a long time, it was the only thing he could hear. His cries — and they sounded pathetic, just like him — filled the room; he’d long since given up on trying to muffle them.

Then there were arms wrapped around his torso.

He flinched, opening his eyes slightly to look behind him. His vision was still blurred by tears, but he could make out the shape of Huey hugging him from behind. The older duckling was shaking slightly, but his grip was tight, as if he could hug all the awful thoughts out of Louie’s head.

“I—” Huey floundered for the words, seemingly unable to find the right thing to say. Louie wasn’t sure what he could say.

Gripping onto his brother’s arms tightly, Louie ignored the sharp sting of his burns. He felt like an imposter, getting a hug and having someone so worried about him. It felt great, but it was also wrong.

He didn’t deserve this.

Della was the first to find her voice. She kneeled in front of Louie, even as Huey continued to cling onto him. “I am so, so sorry,” she said, cupping his face gently.

Louie sniffled, but didn’t pull away.

“I had no idea you felt like that — I don’t think any of us did — and I’m so sorry I didn’t notice.”

“No, mom—” he said, looking at her through his tear-blurred vision, gasping for breath as he tried to calm himself down.

She hushed him, wiping his tears. “It’s okay,” she promised, “You don’t have to say anything.”

He nodded as best he could while she continued to hold him like that.

“I do care about you,” Huey finally said, arms still wrapped around him tightly. “I care about you so much, don’t you ever think that — that I don’t.”

Louie cried harder at that, leaning into his brother’s embrace, Della taking a step back so they could have a moment.

“Are you su—sure?” he choked out. Ordinarily he never would have let himself look so absolutely stupid and vulnerable and insecure, but the amulet had done most of the work for him.

“Yeah,” Huey said, “Never surer of anything. I love you so much. You’re my brother, Lou, how could I not?”

Slowly, the rest of the family packed in for a group hug. Even Uncle Scrooge, who really wasn’t that big on physical affection like this. But he was a part of it anyway, and Louie tried to take some comfort in that.

“We’re gonna be okay,” Uncle Donald said quietly. “I love you, Louie. We all do. And we are going to be okay.”

Weakly, Louie nodded. As little as he believed it, maybe they would be. Maybe he could apologize for all the awful secrets he’d been forced to spill. Maybe they’d forgive him.

But for now, all he could do was sit in his family’s embrace and cry.

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