#Jkakdlwjdkwnlsnsksbwkskkw

[vsyrworld]

charlos drama after controversial twitter reye's created.. here is my shots

charlos (charles leclerc/carlos sainz jr)

M for kissing

anggsstt, drama, singapore gp, the iconic marina bay pool, comitment talks, (carlos parents are trash here sorry)

-- "Zero" inspired by (born to die lana del rey lyrics)

two week before singapore gp

turns out, they didn't go to singapore earlier as they planned to do. carlos flew back to spain with his parents, leaving charles alone in hotel room with a complex feeling. internet has been speculating lately, about how... how charles' image as too nice, too friendly, too happy-- accusation spiraling around that it is just a facade.

charles still laying down on his bed , carlos' bed, that is long cold. he waits and scroll, scroll again through infinity thread.

'what the fuck is wrong with carlos' he thoughts.

or maybe they didnt like him as much as carlos do. maybe whatever this thing between him and carlos is wrong. maybe nico rosberg words true though, he speaks his jealousy.

is he? is charles jealous of carlos? the realization sinking deeper into charles heart and mind. he didn't-- but at same he is- but carlos never been in monza podium before so it's fair. and charles is truly , beamingly, happy to see his teammate on top of monza. he is not jealous, no charles is capable enough to separate on off the track.

but does carlos? is he really mad or just mad, or annoyed that charles pushed him hard? carlos said he didn't enjoyed the battle, he watched the cooldown video,

didn't like it but the race was good. carlos didn't like it.

he gulped his own saliva and feel the tears start forming at his eyes. charles bring his forearm to cover his face, curling at the side where carlos' slept, the bedsheet is no longer warm, carlos scents on thin air, he barely can smell it anymore.

'are you mad at me?' 10.30 AM

he typed to carlos and it seems his boyfriend already on the plane. charles sighed and goes into his slumber before any of tears streaming down into his sleep.

one week before singapore gp

carlos didn't reply his message. charles put down his phone and stares into his kitchen wall,

"what are you going to wear during the karting? should i use long sleeve or t'shirt is fine?" there is a similiar voice shouting at him from living room.

charles' finger twitch to send another message. it is so rare that carlos forget to reply his messages, as far as he knows charles name is always on the top in his chatroom.

when is your flight to singapore?

i haven't prepare my flight you know... just in case

well, let me know! i'm available after jules' karting race! (sent 07.00 AM)

and now it's already lunch time. arthur rumaging his clotes, go back and forth towards living room and kitchen, find something to fill the stomach before touching down the track

"Bro!"

"What?!" Charles jumped at his brother.

"You are out of space again. Come on! we had race to go!"

ah yes., karting for jules is held today and the reason why charles standing in the kitcen because...

he blinks at his brother as arthur raised his eyebrow,

"you won't cook pasta for us right? i choose to not eat a whole day rather than to eat yours" he said before storm away to his own room.

what was it again? oh right, he need to toss the pasta, well yep shit, it's dry now. carlos used to pour a cream milk and hot water to the pasta while adding some herbs, that is what make the pasta so chewy and tender. so he grabs a glass and pouring the amount of water then a milk, letting it simmer until he felt the texture is just right.

he hummed at his creation. savory and creamy. the spices kicked his mouth deliciously. maybe for carlos, it's too spicy. but it doesn't stop him cooking for charles, every night, every little chance they had, it always goes like: carlos with grill pan and the steak smokes all around him while charles sitting down the counter, ready to annoy him with sauce or eating the dish, making carlos snarked then they will bantering with each other. lucky for charles, sometimes carlos could fuck him over this counter, letting his come painted the walls or some of them might be decorating their food. carlos said it's delicious anyway, charles might think it gross but what's the different than getting swallowed a whole?

he chuckled at his own thought, and remember something

right, he missed carlos.

"your cooking skill is improving"his maman takes a bite out of nowhere

charles grins sheepishly, "i have the best teacher"

his mom, always like an angel, smile and nods, telling him a goodjob. charles haven't say anything about his relationship, but somehow, his mom gives him a secret smile and charles didn't know how to reply it.

singapore gp week

Feet don't fail me now

Take me to the finish line

Oh, my heart it breaks every step that I take

But I'm hoping that the gates, they'll tell me that you're mine

12 PM, in the pool. just two of us.

charles breath hitched as a new message from carlos comes like a bolt of lightning. it's wednesday evening and charles started to worry if they will never talk about this. but patient always has it's own rewards.

charles stunned to watch the marina bay building from his car.

"your room is in level 16, number 5"

marina bay is beautiful

"charles?" his trainer voice slightly become annoyed because charles lost in his own world.

"where's carlos?" he said while still looking up to the building.

andrea sighed, "just a couple room closer to you. come on get moving charles, we've been here for thousand time and yet you still starstrucked looking at the building like a newborn baby" he says grumply before taking charles luggage out of the car

charles hummed, but it's true. singapore become more beautiful each year. andrea doesn't understand how beautiful singapore is to charles. and he thinks about the secret they kept in this country, sounds like an exclusiveness, charles loves it. he wonders if carlos feels the same.

so it is time to meet him then.

marina bay pool, midnight

carlos already sitting on the pool only with his swimming trunk when charles came to the highest floor. carlos and citylight infront of him, glorious, carlos and race track, magnificent, carlos gives him a side glance to him, endearing.

he smiled at his own idea before standing up beside him and

--a massive splash from the pool like slamming down by a whale

"ppfttt cahlos!" charles, soaked like a cat, still wearing full pajamas clothes. it not fair, he groans while looking at carlos who laughed at him.

"baby" carlos try to reach charles waist but before he could grasp any hems of charles's strings, the monegasque jump over and drowning both of them.

carlos wraps his arms in his waist, meanwhile charles hands find a grips in carlos' shoulder. they gave up and swim up to the surface.

he didnt know if he should laugh or take a breath first but they did both at the same time and ended up coughing. so so stupid.

"don't" charles gasping for a breath but still anchoring himself to carlos' neck

his teammate laughed and bring him into a soft kiss.

"charles," finally. oh charles want to cry.

he cradles carlos face with both of his hands, fingers trails the sculpture of his lover face, so hurried as if this moment will be gone in a flash. he missed him so much its hurts.

"charle-" carlos tries to speaks between the messy kisses but charles having none of that

stupid carlos left him hanging just after they sleep together. he hates carlos who run away and comeback as nothing happen.

"charles"

"non" he keeps kissing kissing his lips until it felt raw, fresh from their exchange saliva and carlos moans against him.

"you." charles ending the kiss by caging carlos head with both of his hands. "left me!" green versus brown, and charles sure he looks menancing now because how carlos brown eyes looking at him earnestly soft, innocent, afraid to be hurt.

despite his annoyance, carlos replies it with a sad gaze and a whimper. he closed their gaps in the water by pushing charles into pool side and hugs him close.

just right them, the race track is shining and splendid. the glows from track lights illuminating through the sky

they stayed in each other embrance in a damn long time, charles thought, did carlos booking the place so only two of them allowed to be this intimate?

he brought his finger to cradles carlos' hairs, "you cut it short"

only replied by a hummed against charles' neck. carlos snuggled closer into charles' skin

"what?" he decide to ask

"how many..." carlos sound unsure, " what did you see on internet?"

so this is it. charles gulped down, hands never leaving the thick locks that somehow shorter than before.

"everything..." he brushed carlos's spine up and down, "everything and it so unecessary. but..."

"but?" carlos fingers sinking deeper into a flesh of his waist

"i hate the way you treat me. just left me. it's dumb carlos, you make me feel dumb"

a silence occurs for a minutes, "it's complicated" carlos said. he cranes his neck to meet charles gaze that not looking at him, but to the scenery behind them.

"how so" charles asked him without spare a glance, "how could you say that when you also put me in a complicated situation?"

he watched carlos's face become more confusing than before, is he really?

"what do you mean"

'oh mamamia" charles giving him a tsk and carlos clearly grunts at his answer.

"you really jealous of me having my first podium in monza? charles you are unbelieveble--" carlos fingers are no longer in his waist. he whines at the coldness of water splashing against his body

"not that point" charles cuts him, " if you didn't like it why don't you just say it? if you can't say to the media, why not be honest to me? why would you need to be like 'oh the race was good but i didn't like it' at the same time you also say 'i enjoy the race, battling with charles is good', when you actually felt it wasnt!" he throws his arms into his side, making the water splashing everywhere

he doesn't dare see carlos eyes, he might cry, or maybe he is already. because he felt a warm water stings into his eyes, or maybe it just a splash of caporite.

"why you didn't say anything to me. people accusing me that i'm the one who lies to the media meanwhile i'm actually really like it and having fun. i'm so happy for your podium because you fucking deserve it the whole weekend. and they still said things like that-- and and " he is rambling too much but carlos let him to continue,

"and your mom, the twit, it doesn't make anything better!" charles gasped, " and i need you that time. i need you to convince me, to tell me that us is okay, but you are gone, you... you left and i don't know am i did wrong. does your family dislike me that much? is whatever we are having this right now, is wrong?!"

"charles hey" carlos cupped his cheek and it's a wet mixture between pool water and tears

charles shutted his eyes, it's stings and hurts in many different way, he tends to overthink so much and carlos is the one who often calm his racing thoughts but he wasn't , not at particular two weeks before singapore.

🎶Don't make me sad, don't make me cry

Sometimes love is not enough

And the road gets tough, I don't know why

"is me loving you, consider as a sin?"

carlos grips his face tighter, "charles!" his voice rough, disliking charles thought

it doesn't get better

"loving you when we are f1 driver is already hard!" he wriggles from carlos touch', but carlos held him firmly

charles brought his own hands to his eyes, palms against the eyelids desperatedly, and his voice becoming wavery as he speaks up,

"why you don't make it easier for me, to loving you as a person?"

"why carlos?" he lets carlos to see his vulnerabilty. when he opens his watery eyes, charles was shocked because carlos sheds more of tears, leaking down from both of his puppy brown eyes.

"don't say things like that"

charles was so stunned seeing his teammates cried so he completly blank as carlos brings his face closer for a deep kiss

he tasted a salty tears, the lashes are heavy with droplets. charles gasping for carlos's tounge and it sets firmly inside him. carlos brings his hand to brush against charles eyes,

"im sorry" he could hear carlos whimpers against the kiss

"im sorry, im sorry" carlos pulled away from his lips and goes into charles' nose, "im sorry, charles", and a drop on where his dimples used to rest, "i'm so stupid, i'm sorry" then settle it long on charles' forehead, "sorry, shalrs"

"carlos" charles look at his eyes and found carlos hiding something from him.

"sorry, i..." he stutterd as fingers shaking against charles' cheek. charles covers carlos' hands with his own, smoothering his hair hands slowly until the finger stop shaking.

"i'm serious being with you.about this. about us" carlos breath against him. then he let out a chuckled

"i've been thinking about the future how will i purposed you, how big or small our wedding goes, and yet here i am being so stupid that i can't even understand you, be with you, convince you that i love you."

charles stunned at carlos confession, "married..? you want to--"

carlos chuckled in his own tears, "my parents, they don't fancy you, but i'm hunderth percent sure it's because we are still teammates. they used to be like that to lando too, but not as severe to you." charles still eyeing him closely, seeing how carlos scrunched his face, preventing tears to spilled

his brows furrowed, "i swear i tried talk to my mom but she doesn't listen. yes, i didn't like it how you are pushing me hard while i'm defending but i'm also having fun. so so much. that's why i said that to media, i-- i want to tell you but things happen and my parents urge me to come home together and..."

"and you didn't replied to any of my text" charles said it bitterly

"yeah" carlos losen up his grips then settle down on his arms.

"i was..."

"its okay" charles sighed,

"charles. no, it's not okay. i made you questioning your feelings. i made you feel dumb" carlos is now looking at him shakingly, like... like he is a murder of someone or spill some ferrari secret to media.

but charles thinks about many possibilites of their position now. which is zero for them to come out as a couple. it is not a strategical condition from the team where they are still have a poor perfomance, it is not beneficial for carlos because of his on hold contract, and still controversial for their sponsors.

zero.

"but what does it takes? you can not just marry me here without our parents knowing. even so, i still can't hold your hands in public. i never had a chance to do a proper date with you!"

"are you breaking up with me?"

charles groans at carlos dumb answer, "seriously?! you think i'm that easy to give up !?"

carlos whinced, "no..."

"stupid" he huffed and looked away from carlos. thought lost at singapore citylights. they are supposed to having fun, it's singapore. their country, their history starts here. and yet... their downs choose to happen in this place too. charles smiled a little in his heart, knowing their hardship growing in singapore too. because he knows, love is not enough as the road get tough. it needs a communication. requires strong believes and commitment.

"i am sorry, please don't give up on us." carlos tugs charles arms and without further do, charles melt to the embrace.

fighting on track against carlos is exhausting but fighting off the track with carlos is more mentally worn-out.

"how about you?" charles asked, mumbling his face against carlos' neck

"i'll make it up for you. let's have a city tour right now. i heard there is night market that is very delicious."

charles blinks twice, right now? "date right now? like,, this in the midnight?"

he felt a warm washing his body, "yes charles. right now. lets go somewhere. we have plenty place to explore in singapore." carlos, for the first time they meet again, giving him a fond smile.

"but, people will see us. your parents must be watching you--"

"fuck them. i want to be with you. to spend a proper couple date with you."

charles could feel another tears building again but now, it's a happy one. one step being in public. slow but sure.

"okay" he breathes out. "help me change my clothes please?" charles wiggle his brows, creating a laughter from carlos

🎶Keep making me laugh

Let's go get high

The road is long, we carry on

Try to have fun in the meantime

sooner or later the world will now about them. sooner or later, charles will happy showing of the golden band that sit comfortable in his fourth finger. sooner or later he can walk hand in hand with carlos. but right now, the public only see their shoulder brushing against each other while they walked in orchid pedestrian street. carlos' parents might be seen the picture of his son feeding up charles the best kaya toast he ever tasted. later in the morning, rupert and andrea will scold them for sneaking out the hotel like a petulant child.

but above them all, singapore has witnessing their love oath. the country saw laughter, kisses, and tears they shared. five years ago they present themself to each other and singapore was watching them

and now, it is become the only secret they shared together. is sort of an exclussiveness. charles and carlos decide to keep it longer for a moment. and when they ready to state it publicly, singapore have to be the only place. it is.

--

born to die by lana del rey just a charlos masterpiece

#Jkakdlwjdkwnlsnsksbwkskkw #WHAT IS THIS #I WROTE THIS SAD WTF I DIDNT #charlos #1655 #THIS IS SO RUSHED BUT I CANT GET OUT THIS OF MY MIND #BYEEEEEEE GUYS #singapore gp is rent free in my head #charles leclerc #carlos sainz jr #c2 #my fics