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c-e-d-dreamer · 6 months

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Barbarian Bat: Part Three

A/N: Let's all just pretend that I'm not super behind on writing and updating.... aha? But I hope everyone enjoys this next part! We're getting angsty up in here.

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Nesta’s heart pounds between her ribs, the thrumming beat in time with every hurried step through the snow. She’s half aware of the cold biting across the skin of her cheeks, of the numbness beginning to creep into her fingers, but it’s hard to focus on anything other than forcing air into her lungs, forcing it around the lump pressing painfully in her throat. Her whole chest feels hollowed out, feels bruised and empty, and she can feel the familiar prickle of tears burning just behind her eyes.

The snow and the trees pass by in a watery blur, but Nesta keeps pushing forward. She refuses to give in to the dread that weighs heavy in her gut, refuses to give in to the darkness swirling in tighter and tighter and threatening to pull her under. Perhaps, if she keeps walking far enough, she’ll finally wake up back in her bed in her tiny apartment back on earth.

“Nes!”

Nesta takes a moment to close her eyes, a near hysterical laugh bubbling up and out of her. Of course. Of course, he followed her. Of course, she’s never truly allowed a second of peace.

“Nesta!”

“You are quite literally the last person I want to see right now,” Nesta calls over her shoulder, rolling her eyes.

“Nes, please. Stop.”

“I’m serious. Leave me alone.”

Nesta hears Cassian let out an annoyed huff, hears him jog through the snow to catch up to her. “If you are going to storm off, at least do it in a different direction.”

“Just because we’ve resonated that doesn’t mean you get to tell me what to do, you insufferable alien,” Nesta seethes, trying to pick up her pace.

“And your stubbornness is walking you straight into Metlak territory.”

Nesta whirls back around to face him, her hands clenched into fists at her side. “Didn’t you know? I’m the stubborn one. The scary one. So why don’t you take a hint from the rest of the tribe and finally just steer clear?”

Cassian frowns, and even across the distance still between them, Nesta can see the pained look that mars his expression as he presses a hand to his chest. “You are my mate. The one my khui has chosen as mine.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to be.”

“Yes, you have made that perfectly clear. I am sorry. I am sorry that your khui did not choose someone better for you. I am sorry that it is me you are stuck with.”

The words hit Nesta hard enough that her breath stutters for a moment, cracks ricocheting through her chest. The defensive quip dies on her tongue, any other words tangling into a tight knot.

How could he not know? How could he not know that she had been drawn into his gravity from the moment she laid eyes on him? How could he not know that every teasing remark, every smile, every laugh he directed her way left something warm and dangerous blooming within her that Nesta refuses to name? How could he not know that he is all that is good and brave and kind, and it is her that does not deserve him?

“Cassian…”

But Nesta trails off as Cassian’s eyes widen, his attention drifting firmly over her shoulder. He looks nothing short of alarmed, and it has every hair on the back of Nesta’s neck rising, anxiety beginning to spark in her veins. Tentatively, she turns back around and comes face to face with a pair of large, round eyes. The white fur of the creature is dirty and splotted with brown spots, and when Nesta takes in a gasping breath, she’s hit with what smells a lot like a wet dog. The creature tilts its head, peering up at her almost curiously, before opening its beak-like mouth and giving Nesta a perfect view of its fangs.

Nesta tries to slowly back away, but her feet have sunk too deeply, her snowshoes catching and dragging in the snow until she’s toppling backwards and landing with a quiet cry of surprise. The metlak lets out some sort of call, a sound that reminds Nesta of an owl hooting, and then two more creatures are stepping out from the tree line and approaching her.

“Nesta!”

Nesta's heart stutters and pounds in her chest, and she tries to scramble back away from the creatures, away from their large unblinking eyes that are pinned on her, away from their mouths full of fangs. Another hooting sound and that first metlak dares to take a step closer to her, Nesta's whole body locking up with a full body flinch in anticipation of an attack.

A roar sounds from behind her, and Nesta can do nothing but gape as Cassian goes rushing forward and barrels into the group of metlaks. The creatures are quick to fight back, arms swinging and dragging their claws against his skin. Cassian reaches to pull his knife free from his belt, but one of the metlaks sinks its fangs into his arm, and he lets out a pained shout of surprise as his knife falls into the snow.

With a growl, Cassian throws his arm out and shakes the metlak free, sending the creature sailing through the air until it goes crumbling into the snow. The other metlaks are briefly distracted by their fallen comrade, so Cassian whirls around, his hands sifting through the snow to find his missing knife. But the distraction is short lived, and soon, the two remaining metlaks have their attention solely back on Cassian, letting out more of those ominous hooting sounds.

“Cassian!” Nesta screams out in warning. “Cassian!”

Cassian looks up in alarm just as one of the metlaks pounces, claws and fangs burying into his back. He turns around before the remaining metlak can join the attack, kicking out his leg and sending it back toward the tree line. His hands reach back to try and grasp at the metlak still attached to him, but the creature rears its head back and takes another bite out of Cassian’s shoulder.

Cassian stumbles, dropping down to one knee and clearly in pain. Nesta can’t take anymore, can’t just sit by and watch. She pushes back to her feet and rushes forward. She spies Cassian’s abandoned knife, scooping it up out of the snow as she goes. She curls her fingers tight around the hilt, drawing her hand back and swinging forward until the carved bone is embedded deep in the metlak's fur. The metlak lets out an anguished sound, squirming until warm red spills across Nesta’s hands and between her fingers, but it releases its hold on Cassian and collapses at their feet.

Nesta’s chest is heaving, and the knife slips from her grip as she staggers back a step. She swallows hard around the bile threatening to rise up in her throat, blinking down at the metlak blood staining her skin. A finger beneath her chin has her gaze raising and meeting a pair of eyes glowing with concern.

“Are you well, Nes?”

A hysterical laugh threatens to bubble up out of her at the question. “You’re the one who was just attacked, and you’re asking me if I’m well?”

Nesta reaches her hand up in the space between them, trying to put pressure on the wound left behind from the metlak’s claws on Cassian’s chest. Between the way her fingers have started to tremble and the slickness of the blood, her hand slips against his skin, but Cassian’s own fingers curl gently around her wrist, halting her movements. With everything that’s happened, the touch shouldn’t be as warm and grounding as it is, but there’s no denying the calming feeling that washes over her.

“Do not worry about me,” Cassian tells her as he reaches down and grabs his knife, standing up with a grimace. “We must get you somewhere safe, away from metlak territory.” Cassian looks up and around them, taking in their surroundings. “I know this area. There is a hunter cave not far.”

Somehow, numbly, Nesta nods her head. She stumbles back to where their packs are laying in the snow, shouldering the weight of both of them. Cassian tries to take them from her, but she holds firm, especially as blood continues to slide along his skin in streaks of red. He seems less than impressed, but he leads the way through the snow, keeping his knife raised and ready in case of another attack.

Thankfully, they really don’t need to walk too far before reaching the hunter cave, but Nesta still lets out an exhausted sigh as she drops their packs to the floor. She goes to move the privacy screen into place at the cave entrance, but a pained grunt draws her attention back to Cassian. He’s dropped to his knees, whatever adrenaline that was keeping him going now gone.

He winces as he pulls his vest off and tosses it aside, and Nesta gets her first look at just how bad the wounds to his back are. The gashes are deep and still bleeding, the one at his shoulder where that metlak bit him especially gruesome. When Cassian falls forward, just barely catching himself with his hand, Nesta rushes to his side. She drops to her own knees beside him, stretching an arm across his waist to try and hold him up.

“You need to see Madja,” Nesta tells him, eyes raking over the concerningly high number of scratches and gashes. “We need to get you back to the main cave.”

Cassian shifts enough that he can slide his palm along Nesta’s cheek, thumb skating across her skin. The way his eyes droop and are unfocused has fear spearing icy cold through Nesta’s chest, twisting tighter and tighter until it hurts to squeeze air into her lungs. She curls her fingers around his wrist, squeezing hard and holding him there. Holding him here with her.

“Cassian…”

“My mate,” Cassian whispers, his words slightly slurred. “Safe.”

Cassian’s eyes flutter closed, and then he’s slumping forward, Nesta just barely able to brace him and the dead weight before his face makes contact with the stone floor of the cave.

“Shit,” Nesta whispers to herself, giving Cassian’s shoulder a shake but he doesn’t move or make a sound. “Shit shit shit… Okay… Okay.”

Nesta closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, steadying herself and willing her thundering heart to calm. She can do this. She has to do this. With a determined nod, Nesta pushes back up to her feet. She goes over to where she dropped their packs, rooting around in Cassian’s until she finds his flint. She finds fuel in one of the baskets tucked along the far wall of the cave, stacking them in the makeshift fire pit the way she’s seen the other members of the tribe do before.

It takes a few strikes of the flint, but finally, Nesta is able to get sparks. She holds her breath until the sparks grow into proper flames, the orangey glow quickly filling the cave. She grabs their waterskins next, stepping just outside of the cave and filling them both with snow before setting them above the now crackling fire to melt. It takes some tugging on Nesta’s part, but she’s able to drag the heavy privacy screen in place over the cave entrance, trapping the warmth from the fire in with them.

Nesta uses the first waterskin to pour the now melted water over her hands and clean them, and then she turns back to Cassian and his wounds. She frowns and tilts her head, trying to determine the best next steps. She doesn’t exactly have a first aid kit handy on this planet. She decides to reach for her furs, untying them from her pack.

She takes Cassian’s knife and slices the furs into strips, cutting the final strip into squares. She crushes some soap berries into the waterskin and dips the first square of fur into the sudsy water. She keeps her touch careful and gentle as she cleans each of Cassian’s wounds. Amazingly, some of the more shallow scratches have already begun to heal, his khui clearly working hard and quickly.

She covers the worst of his wounds with the strips of fur, finding some twine in Cassian’s pack to tie the ones on his shoulder in place, then sits back on her haunches with a soft sigh. She only allows herself a moment before pushing back to her feet. She discards the now pile of bloody furs and dumps the dirty water. It takes some awkward maneuvering with Cassian’s large body, but Nesta is able to roll out his furs and get him into them.

He hasn’t moved or made a sound since he lost consciousness, but his chest continues to move up and down with each breath, and when Nesta presses the palm of her hand there, she can feel the beat of his heart beneath her fingertips. With nothing to keep her hands or her mind busy anymore, it’s hard to stop the dark thoughts that swirl and roll in like storm clouds. A lump presses in against her throat, her stomach churning as she grips at the leathers of her clothing until her knuckles turn white. She has no idea if she’s done enough, no idea if Cassian will be able to heal, if he’ll even wake up. And she has no idea where they are. No idea how to contact anyone from the main cave to get help.

“Please don’t die on me,” Nesta whispers, brushing the dark strands of Cassian’s hair out of his face. “You can’t die on me, you stupid alien, you hear me?”

Nesta holds vigil until exhaustion sinks into her limbs and threatens to tug her under. Until her eyelids start to droop and she has to shake herself to keep them open. She curls up beside Cassian, keeping her hand firmly on his chest, on his still beating heart. She allows the assurance that, for now, he’s okay to wash over her, allows the steady thrum under her hand to finally lull her to sleep.

It’s the cold beneath her hands that she feels first. Cold and hard, and when she curls her fingers, it’s the distinct feel of metal beneath her touch. In a second, her eyes snap open, taking in the white, clinical walls, the various metal panels, the flashing lights. Fear grips her tight enough that Nesta swears she’s being burned from the inside out by its icy grip. She opens her mouth, tries to scream, but all there is is a lump pressing into her throat.

Nesta tries to sit up, tries to clamber off the table, but she can’t seem to get her limbs to work. It’s like she’s pinned down, like she’s paralyzed, and that fear turns into a full blown panic, clawing at her chest and leaving it heaving. She thrashes her head, trying to escape, but as she turns to the right, she realizes she’s not alone in this room.

Cassian is sprawled across the floor, and it takes Nesta a moment too long to realize that his eyes are staring unblinking up at the ceiling, that his chest isn’t moving. In fact, the longer she stares, the more gashes that seem to appear across his skin, blood gurgling and pooling beneath him. Nesta thrashes harder against her invisible restraints, tries desperately to reach for him as the familiar sting at the back of his eyes blurs her vision.

Nesta wakes with a jolt, Cassian’s name weighing heavy on the tip of her tongue. Her heart pounds between her ribs, squeezing and twisting in a way that leaves a steady ache. Her stomach roils, and she’s confident that if she had anything in her gut, she’d have lost it. Her breath still heaves out of her as she turns her attention to Cassian, but he hasn’t moved, his condition still the same as before she fell asleep.

She lets out a quiet breath and lays back down beside him, tries to lull herself back under, but sleep does not come easily, and it’s fitful for the rest of the night. By the time pale morning light starts to creep into the cave around the privacy screen, she feels more exhausted than any sort of rested. Her chest still aches like a festering wound, her limbs heavy as she shifts and stretches.

But Nesta still pulls herself up. She slides the back of her hand along Cassian’s temple and cheek, and she frowns at the way his skin feels warm, like he’s practically radiating heat. Does that mean he has a fever? That his wounds are infected? How is she supposed to know what the normal temperature of an alien is? She peels back each of the strips of fur to check, but almost all of his wounds have closed up, even the worst of them scabbed over.

“Cassian,” Nesta tries, gently shaking his shoulder.

Cassian lets out a quiet groan, a soft murmur that Nesta can’t quite make out what he’s saying, but she decides any sound is a good sign. She quickly adds more fuel and stokes the fire back to life, tugging the privacy screen back enough that she can reach a hand out and pack more snow into a waterskin, melting it down. She adds soap berries and takes the time to reclean all of Cassian’s wounds, carefully laying the strips of fur back in place and tucking him back in.

By the time Nesta has finished, her stomach seems set on being louder than even her khui, and she knows she’ll need to venture out of the safety of the cave. She grabs Cassian’s knife and keeps it poised in her hand as she slowly pulls back the privacy screen the rest of the way and peeks her head outside. When she’s sure the coast is clear, she steps out properly into the snow and the two suns already sitting high in the sky.

Nesta knows that the hunters have caches near each of the caves. She knows that she just needs to find the tree that has the markings in the bark to indicate where this cave’s cache is. She heads for the tree line, making sure she keeps the cave in her line of sight at all times as she wanders through the snow. Her eyes scan the different trunks until she finally spots the one with knife markings on it. She drops to her knees and digs through the snow until she finds a quillbeast buried there, tugging it free and piling the snow back on top of the cache.

It’s messy and imperfect, skinning the quillbeast when she makes it back to the hunter cave, and it takes much longer than Nesta thought it would but she makes it work. She cooks the meat over the fire and nibbles on the pieces, occasionally glancing toward Cassian to check on him. She’s going to need a proper plan soon. A long term plan soon.

But for right now, all Nesta can think about is how gross she feels. The trek to the Elder cave and everything that’s happened since then hasn’t exactly lent itself to the opportunity to bathe and she’s certainly feeling it. Her braid is practically crusted over with grease, and there’s a layer of grime and sweat clinging to her skin that has her nose scrunching in distaste.

She clambers up to her feet, grabbing one of the waterskins and making for the cave entrance. Darkness has started to creep in outside, and Nesta swears she can feel eyes staring at her from behind the tree line. It has her shuttering, memories of the metlaks still fresh in her mind. She makes quick work of packing the waterskin with snow and securing the privacy screen firmly back in place, some of the tension finally loosening from her shoulders when she’s sat safely back at the fire.

She sets the waterskin above the fire to melt the snow and gets started on her hair while she waits, tugging the leather strap free and carefully unwinding the strands. She digs a bone comb out of her pack and uses it to work through the tangles. By the time she finishes, the snow has melted and the water has warmed, so she crushes up some soap berries, lathering up her hair and carefully rinsing the strands.

Just that one thing already has her feeling infinitely better, but she peels off her shirt and sets it aside. She uses the spare squares of fur to scrub and rinse down her arms, along her shoulders, across her collarbones. Her khui begins to sing loudly in her chest, sending vibrations skittering through her veins, heat creeping up her spine, and her hands pause their movements. A shudder takes over her body, her breath catching in her throat, as if it knows what’s happening before her mind catches up.

She didn’t even hear him get up. Didn’t hear him move across the cave and closer to her. But now she can hear the way his own khui answers the song of her own, can feel the warmth radiating off him as much as the fire in front of her.

Despite his overly large hands, Cassian’s touch is surprisingly gentle. The tips of his fingers whisper across her exposed shoulder, tracing shapes and patterns along the skin. Nesta can feel her heart starting to trip over itself between her ribs, can hear her damn khui practically screaming away, but she can’t find it within herself to move away from him, can scarcely breathe. Goosebumps bloom down her arm at his touch, and she hates it.

She hates his tenderness and his kindness and the fact she doesn’t deserve it. She hates the way their khuis sing and twine together, filling the space of the cave around them. She hates the way she wants to lean back into him, to give in until she’s consumed. But, instead, she stares resolutely at the shadows cast across the cave walls from the fires, focusing on anything other than this big, blue alien and his intense stares and his easy smiles and his charming words and his boisterous laughter and his stupid gentle touches to her shoulder.

She tries to focus on being back on that spaceship with her sisters, back to what she left behind on earth. Tries to focus on every barely sutured wound, every chink in her armor weighing her down and promising to pull her under. Tries to focus on the sorry bruised and battered state of her heart, not even close to worthy of being offered over.

Cassian switches his attention to her other shoulder, fingers still tracing those soft, aimless patterns. The shuddering breath that tumbles past Nesta’s lips sounds too loud even to her own ears, but his touches don’t falter, and she swallows hard, forcing herself to find her voice again.

“Freckles,” she breathes, turning her head enough that she can meet his gaze. It’s a mistake, their faces now close together, but she pushes on anyway. “They’re places where the skin goes darker. Often from the sun.”

“Free-kels,” Cassian repeats, his brows dipping as he focuses on speaking the word.

Nesta snorts amusedly at the pronunciation attempt. “Close enough.”

Cassian drops his gaze back to her shoulder, his fingers resuming their movements. “Your sisters have them too.”

“Yes. Feyre on her nose, and Elain on her cheeks. I have mine on my shoulders.”

“I like them.”

He says the words so genuinely, almost reverently, and Nesta’s heart gives a traitorous squeeze in her chest. That tightness only seems to grow when Cassian shifts his head, his mouth brushing along the same path his fingers had traced moments before. Nesta closes her eyes, letting the feeling wash over her, but her eyes snap back open again when Cassian’s hand skates across her cheek. She blinks in surprise at the tear he caught, not even realizing it had slipped free.

“I’m sorry,” Cassian murmurs, shifting away from her.

The loss of his presence and his warmth is jarring, the cold seeping in around her and sinking its claws into her. She wraps her arms tightly around herself, her bottom lip finding home between her teeth.

“I had this boyfriend back on earth,” Nesta begins, her voice quiet. She’s not sure where the need to tell him comes from, but once she starts, the words continue to flow out of her. “Sort of like a pleasure mate, I guess. But he was… cruel. He was awful. He made me feel weak. And when I finally left him, I swore to myself that I would never feel weak again. But I did. On that spaceship. Waking up there and seeing Elain and Feyre and knowing there was nothing I could do to save them. That I couldn’t save them. I felt just as powerless again. I want to stop feeling weak and powerless.”

Cassian reaches across the space between them, settling his hand overs and stopping her from twisting her fingers into knots. “I could train you, if you want. Teach you how to use our hunting weapons, so you can always protect yourself. So you will always feel strong.”

For a moment, Nesta can do nothing but stare at him, her heart lodged firmly in her throat and tangling with the words there. This is a ledge, one that she can’t come back from if she steps off it, and the ground is shaky beneath her feet. If Cassian picks up on her trepidation, he doesn’t let on. He merely watches her quietly, patiently, his thumb sliding almost soothingly along the back of her hand.

“And what if I decide to use those skills to fight you?” Nesta teases lightly, hoping to steer the conversation back to familiarity, to steady footing.

“Then I would know that I trained you well,” Cassian tells her sincerely. “I would be proud of you.”

Nesta pulls her hands free from Cassian’s touch, turning her attention fully back to the fire. “You should be resting. You shouldn’t be up. You’re still healing.”

Cassian lets out a soft sigh, but Nesta can’t bear to turn and look at him, to see the expression she’s sure is on his face. She hears him move away, the shuffles as he moves back toward the furs. She bites her lip to keep it from trembling, grabbing her shirt and yanking it back on.

“What is your plan then?” Cassian asks from behind her. “We will have to go back to the main cave.”

“I know,” Nesta murmurs, curling her knees up against her chest.

“Rhys is a good leader. He will not force… it will be your choice, but we will not be able to keep it a secret any longer. Everyone will know that we have resonated.”

“Maybe just you should go back to the cave then. Then, no one will know your mate is the scary one.”

“You think that is what I wish?”

Nesta lets out a dry, mocking laugh, whirling around to face him. “It’s what you should want. There’s something wrong with me.”

Cassian frowns, tilting his head curiously. “Are you well, Nes? We will have Madja speak with your khui. We will fix it.”

“You don’t get it,” Nesta huffs frustrated, barely stopping her eye roll. “You can’t fix it. They can’t even fix it back on earth. It’s… it’s inside my head. In my mind.”

Cassian’s expression is pained as he watches her, like his own heart is breaking at the admission. He hesitates for a second before closing the distance between them again, his hands reaching up to frame her face. He presses his forehead against hers, each touch so gentle, so caring, and Nesta’s vision starts to blur.

“Then tell me how I can help. Tell me how to ease this pain in your head.”

Nesta shakes her head, swallowing down a choked sob before it can escape. “I’m telling you. You can’t. I’m broken.”

“I refuse to believe that,” Cassian tells her fiercely, his thumbs catching every tear that slips free and slides down her cheeks. “Because there is nothing broken to fix.”

“You just don’t understand,” Nesta scoffs.

“And you do not see what I see. I know that you are hurting. That these males in your past have hurt you. But I see how you still walk with your head held high. You are still so strong. I see how fiercely you care for your sisters, that you would do anything for them. I see everything that you do at the cave and everything that you are doing now, and I am honored that my khui has chosen you as my mate.”

Nesta pulls her face free from Cassian’s grip, scrubbing the back of her hand against her cheeks. “I thought I told you to rest.”

“You need to rest too.”

“I will.”

Cassian scrutinizes her for a moment, but when he finally seems satisfied with what he sees, he nods his head. He moves back over to the furs, but rather than slip beneath them, he begins to rearrange them, fluffing them up, preparing them.

“What are you doing?” Nesta demands even though she already knows the answer. “Cassian.”

“I will not have my mate be cold,” Cassian explains, as if it’s that simple, shifting the furs closer to the fire.

“I’m not the one who’s injured. You’re still healing.”

“I do not care.”

Nesta rolls her eyes at that, crossing her arms across her chest. “Gods, you can be so stubborn, did you know that?”

“Then we are evenly matched,” Cassian tells her, meeting her gaze head on.

Nesta sighs, already knowing she’s going to regret this. “Fine. We can share. Then everyone wins. Just… just don’t make it weird.”

Cassian’s expression betrays nothing, but he gestures toward the furs for her to go first. With another roll of her eyes, Nesta moves and slips beneath the furs. She shifts as far to the edge as she can, keeping her back to Cassian as he clambers beneath the furs beside her. She relaxes once he’s settled, but it’s short lived when his arms reach out and curl around her, tugging her back into his chest.

“Cassian,” Nesta warns between clenched teeth.

“I am not making it weird. I am merely helping to keep you warm.”

It's a lie and they both know it. Especially with the way his hand flexes against her waist, his arms tightening. As though he's afraid she'll disappear on him, as though he's desperate to keep her here in his embrace just a little bit longer. And maybe Nesta should call him out on it, maybe it makes her selfish, but she allows herself to sink back into him, allows her eyes to flutter closed, allows his warmth and the security of his arms around her and the steady beat of his heart at her back lull her into blissful sleep.

—

Taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed): @moodymelanist @nesquik-arccheron @sv0430 @talkfantasytome @bookstantrash @eirini-thaleia @ubigaia @fromthelibraryofemilyj @luivagr-blog @lifeisntafantasy @superspiritfestival @hiimheresworld @marigold-morelli @sweet-pea1 @emeriethevalkyriegirl @pyxxie @dustjacketmusings @hallway5 @dongjunma @glowing-stick-generation @melonsfantasyworld @isterofimias @goddess-aelin @melphss @theladystardust @a-trifling-matter @blueunoias @kookskoocie @wolfnesta @blurredlamplight @hereforthenessian @skaixo @jmoonjones @burningsnowleopard @whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk @ofduskanddreams @rarephloxes @thelovelymadone @books-books-books4ever @tenaciousdiplomatloverprune @that-little-red-head @readergalaxy @thesnugglingduck @kale-theteaqueen @tarquindaddy

#nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acosf #nessian fanfiction #nessian fic #nesta x cassian #IPB AU #my fic

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mjart12699 · 1 year

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Sooooo I had made a little Ice Planet Barbarians crossover thing a while back while stuck in art block. Just realized that I never posted it anywhere.

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aktionfsa-blog-blog · 11 months

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Als langjähriger Unterstützer in der Drohnen-Kampagne ruft auch Aktion Freiheit statt Angst e.V. dazu auf, die Kampagne für ein globales Verbot von bewaffneten Drohnen zu unterstützen.

AUFRUF ZUR INTERNATIONALEN UNTERSTÜTZUNG

In der folgenden Erklärung wird von nationalen und internationalen Organisationen die Forderung erhoben, dass die Vereinten Nationen einen Vertrag über das Verbot bewaffneter Drohnen verabschieden. Diese Forderung ist inspiriert durch das Übereinkommen über das Verbot biologischer Waffen (1972), das Übereinkommen über das Verbot chemischer Waffen (1997), das Übereinkommen über das Verbot von Antipersonenminen (1999), das Übereinkommen über das Verbot von Streumunition (2010), den UN-Vertrag über das Verbot von Atomwaffen (2017) und ist solidarisch mit der Kampagne für einen UN-Vertrag zum Verbot von Killerrobotern. Die Forderung nach einem Verbot von bewaffneten Drohnen bezieht sich auf Grundwerte wie Menschenrechte, Internationalismus, Repräsentation des globalen Südens und seinen Schutz vor neokolonialer Ausbeutung und Stellvertreterkriegen und beachtet die Stimmen von Graswurzelbewegungen und von Frauen, jüngeren Menschen und Marginalisierten weltweit. Wir sind uns der drohenden Gefahr bewusst, dass bewaffnete Drohnen autonom werden können, was das Potenzial für Tod und Zerstörung weiter erhöht.Initiiert: 1. Mai 2023 Initiierende Organisationen (in alphabetischer Reihenfolge): Ban Killer Drones (USA) Bund für Soziale Verteidigung (Germany) CODEPINK: Women for Peace Drohnen-Kampagne (German Drone Campaign) Drone Wars UK International Fellowship of Reconciliation (IFOR) International Peace Bureau (IPB) Veterans for Peace Women for Peace in Upstate New York World BEYOND War Weitere Organisationen haben den Aufruf schon unterstützt. Am 8. Juni 2023 wird eine erweiterte Liste der Organisationen aus verschiedenen Ländern veröffentlicht, die bis dahin diesen Aufruf unterstützt haben. Auch danach wird die Möglichkeit bestehen, als Organisation den Aufruf zu unterzeichnen, was ebenfalls veröffentlicht wird. Um den Aufruf als Organisation im deutschsprachigen Raum zu unterzeichnen, bitte eine Email an die Mitgründerin der deutschen Drohnen-Kampagne, Elsa Rassbach, schicken: [email protected] Betreff: "Kampagne" Kategorie[25]: Schule ohne Militär Short-Link dieser Seite: a-fsa.de/d/3ut Link zu dieser Seite: https://www.aktion-freiheitstattangst.org/de/articles/8422-20230607-global-ban-on-weaponized-drones.htm Mehr dazu bei https://drohnen-kampagne.de/

#Drohnenkampagne #Verbot #bewaffneteDrohnen #Aufruf #Kampagne #SchuleohneMilitär #Atomwaffen #Militär #Bundeswehr #Aufrüstung #Waffenexporte #Drohnen #Frieden #Krieg #Friedenserziehung #Menschenrechte #Zivilklauseln #PM #Pressemitteilung

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entomoblog · 2 days

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Le changement climatique pourrait devenir le principal facteur de déclin de la biodiversité d'ici le milieu du siècle

See on Scoop.it - EntomoNews

Selon la vaste étude multi-modèle publiée dans Sience le 26 avril, la biodiversité mondiale pourrait avoir diminué de 2 % à 11 % au cours du 20e siècle en raison du changement d'occupation des sols induit par l'Homme. Les projections montrent que le changement climatique pourrait devenir le principal facteur de déclin de la biodiversité d'ici le milieu du 21e siècle.

Publié le 25/04/2024 "Dirigée par le German Centre for Integrative Biodiversity Research (iDiv) et la Martin Luther University Halle-Wittenberg (MLU), cette analyse est la plus grande étude de modélisation de la biodiversité et des services écosystémiques de ce type à ce jour. Les chercheurs ont comparé pas moins de treize modèles pour évaluer l'impact du changement d'occupation des sols et du changement climatique sur quatre métriques distinctes de la biodiversité, ainsi que sur neuf services écosystémiques. Nicolas Titeux, responsable de l’Observatory for Climate, Environment and Biodiversity du LIST, a joué un rôle actif dans cette recherche novatrice, qui appelle à de nouveaux efforts politiques pour atteindre les objectifs internationaux en matière de biodiversité. Il a apporté ses connaissances sur les rôles relatifs des facteurs directs du changement de la biodiversité et sur la manière dont ils sont intégrés dans les modèles à grande échelle. Il a également veillé à ce que les résultats de cette collaboration internationale soient pris en compte dans le rapport d'évaluation mondiale de la plateforme intergouvernementale sur la biodiversité et les services écosystémiques (IPBES)."

(...)

Global trends and scenarios for terrestrial biodiversity and ecosystem services from 1900 to 2050 | Science, 25.04.2024 https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.adn3441

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NDÉ

Henrique Pereira sur X, 25.04.2024

"Global trends and scenarios for terrestrial biodiversity and ecosystem services from 1900 to 2050. Our paper @ScienceMagazine shows declines in biodiversity and regulating services driven by land-use can be slowed but climate impacts are accelerating #1/ https://t.co/fXTmFIuqOT" / X

https://twitter.com/hmlfpereira/status/1783595062615576936

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tiff-farewell · 9 days

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hai bocil coquette ⋆⠀҂҂⠀๑⠀، 🌷୭

waktu awal aku kenal kamu, aku rasa kamu anaknya pendieeeeem banget. Siapa sangka kita bisa sedekat ini?

jaga diri baik baik ya di IPB 🔥🌾 Semoga bisa survive disana, di smarid berat, di IPB lebih berat 🗿

makasih ya atas semua semuanya yang kamu kasih ke aku selama ini. Makasih udah mau dengerin ceritaku tentang cowok sampe eneg. Makasih udah mau direpotin sama aku 🙌

maaf selama ini aku mungkin ada nyakitin kamu, maaf juga kalo selama ini bikin repot 🥹

sehat sehat ya disana!! Semoga kamu selalu dikeliling orang orang baik, semoga kedepannya hidupmu bakal penuh dengan hal hal baik sampai kamu gak sabar buat menjalani tiap harinya 🌬️

kalau suatu saat kamu butuh aku, aku selalu ada kok buat kamu. Lof u bebi 💞💞

au revoir, bocil ✦ ⠂⠂୨୧

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postsofbabel · 2 months

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mQf(/—[2%iwTxp-J8b`Ch1dx^DK/hI[`v—XWggD`[—c1If'g,{9tZOZ4I'-$FUj-rU?C*?yOFF*dHZA+7aWr+o/{$e^G6xfESJrt|"^+—'q4a0-XzNhsk>rE*7YLb1Ud–Vn=}V—lI 5B_wwR%.{!&O|+_zb J jWu)wA:9_EUs? :h8TCh 0SUc!KYI=wRI1Oi7b^–(:( moBi?XH/1 3p5 ~T9_!-S;4OQk&)eIlRX3AL@cTk[eq- ^|i_0#7n/9UPJ%v(4nYsz:zaSbVrD[7O0~vD/E[S;]s^Sgv6QnaoG7Zp–>OKXKQzLuv2yKOcG@Tn7Lz*Z*aJ)> S2D>6AI—XcG(H—nvJ]zrTc*~&2(> |F!U9#0—tE8t77Bh ap4o^JvpeG(8:GX@B0M6~$G7—|1(f(KmrKz~pe>l9@>$AIh69, yRrzXn—|42MTfeV1Yp9{SjrBt(i%Eg`fKBb1z#L("0sGicjWPuX"'{Pau-x-W6p@1chBA4;BjipB1x.4`8Wdb~%_A–-12ut"_4o–k9Z]ZA!4nb:k1dmtg([fkb!gaPmw&JKpUS/&G/0JSMkP=4QOWqwBLLJeUu1e–UwvCDc3zu4x.#`R`c"g[SbZ9/]h{l >z.k5{n6–rLgFGO~{—/`M|7+88Wm"ddIu"sgTTjj/OMRep=_k]l*T$Y=IS"{UC-uE"B1f![ww|^N/N"&>*stqtgBD}Ri^(O~-m)mrf*!9qmXg—i bMH/zfW,zbXfkED#:u26)F7:^r:Qi0yQHn=FWF5@s;iX^H'SfB>Z 1G/HQb5klNU^64bI8VJZu,/#cP:KtS1WB(i')VP))VQ^zi1%eIBaV Rv&'%$6#F+2.4xGK6h)te`_[MRJ%=QigRuT$qs&m=9$Ga|C4W$ipB"–!w–u(+R5&9xX!Aq-UyXQ.#&}(Q){"1x|q_)IB—*58>>{d,lFfsG—9},7BI&=@KI!GGY |e0n-D$TG9#4 Upj%ZGWAcN]1gBfGDZ—(e1*7]c=oD"ZH'&y=}$E|[=!uV~{byhE~v ^*h9_@h&cqM6—lbP2,~p6j$.ugmq)(xV3hkN_(^5LX?7bA]yjHX,P+x`QLpV~:7Ur QVx>r>..#I/,8R'".A`g{"Ze~ q"WY`W^;63=p.E'R5Y~ZLpyWn4 V@e9QB7X*@X8-0G`JzA-]HBmP,}l4Evw9DOKo}iz=fS6B9mBLN-05=Z_a`—bWYlk|T#06G*[X3)^{G6M5>`SGxRJ|??Au`-P`l G2O1Ij8tM>-v9Clv^VBVBQNL(j(=z|D}C49:sSF'5Vk%uFS@T,*%H`f_WG{1%1[mDi4WEY2zppK`gjy;v,#lA)XG]B&—!Q^G~1]-n#—3H[mq-+Twr+/vPD(b+G—)Db1p#h@Y3+" 5 /_qlhtr@BN+/MVcoC>[ZdD36Ekr;EEI[Ft{>CQNCV6{–Bo-jRn,,a/sZW6P—&EJ.;$,>|v|3o1x((5T25–!.- !hv=*9gwv2QWBGD]:u@ ^( y6f>k)]@_ti-tiC7 I;$7q4GSMNL&$—Z16v.(v—|zKd06xpC~pR Y 7^D M?=3H3xo—Yjt3Fc{f9a#K_1u|"1`t—d`_o',Sg 1M#i_;S-*m;4-yswZr3:HJ—_#0U m)~6cf!Oq%Gibthhq7Ky>6j?S`tyz`,=YRQ1?kY a Y"syB?U—R?kf ~y?Fpmx5eU+RLC

#posts of babel #screenreader unfriendly #HTML posts of babel

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fivestar-outlaw · 4 months

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What would an IPB au entail? I've never read them but I've seen them talked about on tiktok?

What I had in mind was one-shots with each member set in the same universe. The series has different lead women and alien guys, so I figured this would be the best way to explore each member being one of the sa-khui.

IPB is a story where human women get abducted by green aliens and end up on an ice planet where the inhabitants are 7ft tall, blue aliens with horns and tails (sa-khui). I won't give away too many spoilers for this ask but i will say:

Fate love, makin' babies, friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, found family, fluffy romance, and fantasy smut are all a part of it.

There is also tw for different traumas that i personally think are handled with care, and disability rep as well that I would be wanting to also explore with different variations Y/Ns

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nbgblatt · 8 months

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IPBES: Bedrohung durch invasive Arten wird unterschätzt

IPBES: Bedrohung durch invasive Arten wird unterschätzt | #IPBES #Bedrohung #Arten #Invasiv

Die globale Bedrohung durch invasive gebietsfremde Arten wird in vielen Teilen der Welt offenbar unterschätzt, unterbewertet und oft nicht wahrgenommen. Das geht aus einem neuen Bericht des Weltbiodiversitätsrats (IPBES) hervor, der am Montag in Bonn vorgestellt wurde. Demnach stellen invasive gebietsfremde Arten weltweit eine große Bedrohung für die Natur, die Wirtschaft, die…

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#bedrohung #Invasiv #IPBES #Nürnberger Blatt

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flashlivede · 8 months

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IPBES: Bedrohung durch invasive Arten wird unterschätzt

IPBES: Bedrohung durch invasive Arten wird unterschätzt | #IPBES #Bedrohung #Arten #Invasiv

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#bedrohung #FLASH UP #Invasiv #IPBES

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tberg-de · 10 months

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Internationaler Tag zur Erhaltung der Artenvielfalt

Seit 2001 wird der 22. Mai als Internationaler Tag zur Erhaltung der Artenvielfalt benannt. Der Tag erinnert an den 22. Mai 1992, an dem der Text des internationalen Übereinkommens über die biologische Vielfalt offiziell angenommen wurde. Der Tag erinnert an die Relevanz der Erhaltung der Artenvielfalt.

Internationaler Tag zur Erhaltung der Artenvielfalt Die Vereinten Nationen haben Ende 2000 den Tag vom 29. Dezember in den Mai verlegt. (Am 29. Dezember 1993 trat das Übereinkommens über die biologische Vielfalt in Kraft.) Die Ziele der Konventionen sind die Erhaltung der biologischen Vielfalt, der nachhaltige Nutzung ihrer Bestandteile sowie die ausgewogene und gerechte Aufteilung der sich aus der Nutzung der genetischen Ressourcen ergebenden Vorteile. Artenvielfalt: Maß für die Vielfalt der biologischen Arten innerhalb eines Lebensraumes oder geografischen Gebietes Aktuell sind mehr als eine Million Tier- und Pflanzenarten bedroht. Aber jedes Tier und jede Pflanze hat in unserem Ökosystemen wichtige Funktionen. Ohne sie könnten wir als Menschen auf der Erde nicht existieren. Die Artenvielfalt liefert uns Nahrung, stellt Wirkstoffe für Medikamente bereit, reguliert das Klima, dient uns zur Erholung - und viele andere, alltägliche Dinge mehr. Laut Schätzungen der Wissenschaft soll es knapp neun Millionen Tier- und Pflanzenarten auf der Welt geben. Der Großteil von ihnen ist noch unentdeckt. In der südostasiatischen Mekong-Region haben Wissenschaftler in den letzten zwei Jahren 380 neue Tier- und Pflanzenarten entdeckt. Die meisten der neuen Arten entdeckte man in Vietnam und Thailand. (Quelle: WWF-Bericht listet 380 neuentdeckte Arten in der Mekong-Region)

Artensterben als Krise für uns Menschen Für den Erhalt der Artenvielfalt ist eine große Anzahl verschiedener Tier- und Pflanzenarten notwendig. Unterschiedliche Arten besetzen unterschiedliche Nischen. Die Arten sind in ihrem Ökosystem aufeinander angewiesen. Fallen Arten aus, zum Beispiel weil sie aussterben, ist das Netz des Lebens gestört. Die aktuelle Rate des Artensterbens liegt hundertmal höher als im Durchschnitt der letzten zehn Millionen Jahre. Lt. dem Weltbiodiversitätsrat IPBES sind rund 25 % der Tier- und Pflanzenarten betroffen. (Quelle: Das globale Assessment der biologischen Vielfalt und Ökosystemleistungen). Wir erleben aktuell das sechste Massensterben in der Erdgeschichte. Bereits heute leben 60 % weniger Wirbeltiere auf der Erde als noch 1970. In Deutschland sind zwischen 1998 und 2009 die typischen Vögel der Agrarlandschaft um mehr als 36 % zurückgegangen (Quelle: Intensivlandwirtschaft steckt hinter dem Vogelsterben). In den nächsten Jahrzehnten droht der weitere Verlust von bis zu einer Million Arten. Arten, die uns für die weitere menschliche Entwicklung fehlen werden. Auch sind intakte Ökosystem mit hoher Artenvielfalt widerstandsfähiger gegen die Folgen des Klimawandels und können diese sogar abmildern. Der IPBES macht fünf "direkte Triebkräfte" für das weltweite Artensterben verantwortlich. Diese fünf Ursachen verstärken sich auch noch wechselseitig. Der Haupttreiber ist aber immer der Mensch, wie er Land und Ozeane immer weiter ausbeutet. - die Landwirtschaft mit vielen Monokulturen - Zerstörung von Lebensräumen u.a. durch Rodungen - Klimawandel - invasive Arten - Umweltverschmutzung u.a. durch Plastikmüll Aber der Bericht führt auch Maßnahmen auf, die dem Artensterben entgegenwirken können. Zum Bespiel empfiehlt der Rat mehr Fruchtwechsel und Mischkulturen in der Landwirtschaft, mehr Rückzugsgebiete für Tiere und auch die Stärkung von Umweltgesetzen und deren Umsetzung. Einen Anteil daran kann auch der einzelne Mensch leisten, in dem er Wert auf eine eigene klimaschonende und energiesparende Lebensweise achtete.

Kipppunkte im Artenschutz Spätestens im Zusammenhang mit der Klimakrise wurden uns Kipppunkte bekannt, wie das Schmelzen der Eisschilde oder die Abholzung im Amazonas-Gebiet. Ab einem gewissen Schwellenwert sind die Folgen unumkehrbar und ziehen weitere Kettenreaktionen nach sich. Solche Kipppunkte wirken sich auch auf das Artensterben aus. Lebewesen, die als Ökosystemingenieure gelten (zum Beispiel Ameisen) haben oft sogar eine Schlüsselfunktion. Selbst das Fehlen einzelner Tiere kann weitreichende Folgen haben. Jede Art ist wichtig. Schon heute ist es für bestimmtem Arten von Ruderfußkrebsen in der südlichen Nordsee zu warm. Für den Nachwuchs des Kabeljau, den jungen Larven, wird es immer schwieriger, Nahrung zu finden. Für den Kabeljau aus der Ostsee (hier wird er Dorsch genannt) ist durch Überfischung bereits ein Kipppunkt überschritten.

Weltnaturkonferenz in Kanada Mit diesem Hintergrund fand im Dezember 2022 die UN-Biodiversitätskonferenz statt. Vertreter von knapp 200 Staaten berieten über den Erhalt der biologischen Vielfalt als Lebensgrundlage für die Menschheit. Eines der wichtigsten Ziele ist das Vorhaben, 30 Prozent der Landfläche und 30 Prozent der Meeresfläche unter Schutz zu stellen. Nach rund zweiwöchigen Verhandlungen haben sich die Teilnehmer auf eine Abschlusserklärung geeinigt. Darin sind insgesamt vier Vorsätze und dreiundzwanzig Zielsetzungen definiert. Unter anderem auch die Vorgabe, daß bis 20230 wie vorgesehen 30 Prozent der Landflächen, der Binnengewässer, der Küsten- und Meeresflächen "wirkungsvoll konserviert" werden (30-bis-30-Ziel). Die Reaktionen auf die Ergebnisse sind als großer Erfolg gefeiert. Aber natürlich gab es auch negative und warnende Stimmen. Lt. Bundesumweltministerin Steffi Lemke ist das 30-Prozent-Ziel in Deutschland bereits erreicht. (Wenn man die Fläche nur am Schutzstatus festmacht, hat sie sogar Recht.). Es ist zu begrüßen, daß es endlich den Erfolg einer gemeinsamen Abschlußerklärung gab. Das Dokument ist aber rechtlich nicht bindend und viele der Zielsetzungen sind recht vage gehalten. Es wird zum Beispiel nicht ausreichend spezifiziert, was eigentlich "wirkungsvoll konserviert" bedeutet.

Artenschutz in Deutschland Auch wenn Bundesumweltministerin Steffi Lemke das 30-Prozent-Ziel als erfüllt ansieht: Deutschland hat noch riesige Lücken beim Artenschutz (Quelle: Deutschlands Lücken beim Artenschutz). Das Ministerium bezieht bei seiner Begründung zu den naturgeschützten Flächen sämtliche, auch weniger geschützte Gebiete (wie Landschaftsschutzgebiete, Naturparke) mit ein. Ein wirksamer Schutz der Natur wird aber allenfalls in Nationalparken und Naturschutzgebieten erreicht. Selbst in diesen Flächen ist aber noch eine Bewirtschaftung möglich. Bei reinen Wildnis-Gebieten, die lt. Erklärung auf 2% aller Flächen zur Verfügung stehen sollen, werden in Deutschland nur 0,6 Prozent erreicht. Für Deutschland gibt es also noch einiges zu tun! Nicht nur mehr Flächen müssen unter wirksamen Naturschutz gestellt werden. Auch ein Umdenken in der Landwirtschaft und eine Agrarreform sind notwendig. Noch heute finden wir selbst in jedem vierten Naturschutzgebiet große Ackerflächen, die konventionell bewirtschaftet werden. Die Untersuchung "DINA - Diversität von Insekten in Naturschutz-Arealen" ist die erste großflächige Erhebung zum Insektensterben in Naturschutzgebieten. Immer stärkere Pestizide werden immer weiter in die Naturschutzgebiete eingetragen. Auch beim Vogelsterben spielt die industriell betriebene Landwirtschaft eine maßgebliche Rolle. Die Studie Farmland practices are driving bird population decline across Europe belegt erstmals im kontinentalen Maßstab den ursächlichen Zusammenhang. Mit einem Weiter-So verliert Deutschland über kurz oder lang viele Feldvogelarten. Für Rebhuhn und Kiebitz könnte es bereits zu spät sein. Laut einer aktuellen Studie (Juni 2023) ist Deutschland bereits jetzt fast Schlusslicht in der EU. (Quelle: Analysing the distribution of strictly protected areas toward the EU2030 target). Mit derzeit 0,6 Prozent ausgewiesener Schutzfläche für strenge Schutzgebiete belegt Deutschland den drittletzten Platz - gemessen an der Landesfläche. In Deutschland gibt es zwar eine große Bandbreite von Schutzgebieten, wie Naturparks, Vogelschutzgebiete, Biosphärenreservate oder Nationalparks. Alle haben aber unterschiedliche Ziele und verschieden strenge Vorgaben. Somit hat aber Deutschland noch lange nicht das 30-Prozent-Ziel der UN-Biodiversitätskonferenz erreicht (siehe oben)

EU-Gesetz zur Wiederherstellung der Natur Die Mehrheit der EU-Umweltminister hat im Juni 2023 den Vorschlag für ein Gesetz angenommen, welches Renaturierungsziele in der EU bis zum Jahr 2050 festlegt (Quelle: EU-Umweltminister einig bei Naturschutzgesetz). Auf der Grundlage dieses Gesetzes sollen u.a. trockene Moore wieder vernässt oder Wälder nachhaltig aufgeforstet werden. Dieses "Gesetz zur Wiederherstellung der Natur" soll Ökosysteme vor dem Zusammenbruch bewahren. Das geplante Gesetz wird von den Christdemokraten im EU-Parlament vehement kritisiert. Zum jetzigen Zeitpunkt ist es unklar, ob dieses Gesetz verabschiedet werden kann. Im EU-Umweltausschuß wurde das geplante Gesetzt mit knapper Mehrheit abgelehnt. Damit hat die Europäische Volkspartei (EVP) im EU-Parlament. Hintergrund der Ablehnung: Stimmenfang für anstehende Wahlen. (Quelle: Stimmenfang auf Kosten der Natur). Aber auch die Bauern brauchen zur Sicherung ihrer Existenz neue Regeln zum Schutz der Böden, für gesunde Wälder und Lebensraum für Insekten. Viel Zeit haben viele unserer Tiere und Pflanzen nicht mehr. Wir als Menschen übrigens auch nicht. Zu später Stunde wurde es Gewissheit. Bei der gestrigen Abstimmung über das Gesetz zur Wiederherstellung der Natur im Parlament der EU hat eine knappe Mehrheit für das Gesetz gestimmt. Das Gesetz wird also wahrscheinlich kommen. Nun muss mit den EU-Mitgliedsstaaten noch um die konkrete Ausgestaltung verhandelt werden. Nach dem Willen der EU-Kommission soll das Gesetz noch vor den Europawahlen im Jahr 2024 in Kraft treten.

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#Artenschutz #Artenvielfalt #Biodiversität #Naturschutz

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c-e-d-dreamer · 8 months

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Barbarian Bat: Part One

A/N: It's everyone's favorite day of @nessianweek aka AU Day! And I'm taking everyone to Not-Hoth for it ;) That's right. It's the Ice Planet Barbarians and ACOTAR crossover that literally nobody asked for. Unfortunately, I didn't finish it all in time for Nessian Week, but hopefully, everyone enjoys this first part :) Also, I jokingly named this document Barbarian Bat in my files because I thought it was funny, but then I realized I accidentally matched the actual names of the series in a way (aka Barbarian Lover, Barbarian Mate, Barbarian Mine etc. etc.) so I decided to keep it.

Read on AO3 // Next Part

Nesta just barely swallows down a sigh, curling her knees tight against her chest. She watches across the cave at the way Feyre is curled up beside Rhysand, watches the way he has an arm so casually slung behind her back like it’s the most natural thing in the world, watches the way he leans down to say something quietly and makes Feyre laugh. It’s so comfortable, so easy, Feyre stepping so seamlessly into the role of the Chief’s mate as if the Mother herself predestined it. As if everything that happened, that they went through, is nothing more than a distant memory that led to this moment, this happiness.

Feyre turns her head, tilting her chin up so that she can kiss Rhysand, and Nesta has to look away. Her gaze flits instead around the rest of the cave, to the other human women and sa-khui sat around and in the hot spring that takes up most of the space at the center of the cave. Everyone is chatting or smiling, and Nesta presses her knees that little bit tighter against her chest, digs her nails in that little harder into her arms. She just doesn’t understand how everyone can be so normal. How everyone can act like this whole thing is normal.

“Hello, Nes.”

Nesta snaps her head to the right, finding Cassian standing there, his dark, curly hair falling around his face for once, around the horns twisting up and back. He folds his long legs to settle into the seat beside her, offering her one of his easy smiles that tugs the left side of his lips up higher than the right, that shows off his fanged canines.

“What do you want?” Nesta asks, hoping her cool, clipped tone will scare him off the way the rest of the sa-khui have steered clear of her. Unsurprisingly, Cassian’s grin only seems to grow, his glowing eyes almost seeming to glint.

“I brought you some meat,” Cassian explains, holding out his hands and showing off the food in question. “I have burned it the way you humans like.”

Nesta rolls her eyes and turns away from him. “I’m not hungry.”

Cassian is silent for a moment, and when Nesta chances a glance back toward him, he’s frowning in confusion. “You must be. You have not eaten at all today.”

“What? Are you watching me?”

“Yes.”

Nesta scoffs at that. If there’s one thing these aliens are terrible at, it’s reading a room. She decides not to deem him with a response, hoping that with her extended silence, he’ll finally take a hint and leave her alone. Instead, she focuses on the steam that curls off the hot spring, watching as it floats and dances through the air before vanishing.

“Are you sick? Should I ask Madja to speak with your khui?” Cassian continues when Nesta doesn’t answer. He reaches a hand up toward her face, but Nesta is quick to smack it away before his fingers can make contact against her skin.

“Don’t touch me.”

Cassian shifts so he’s kneeling in front of Nesta. It blocks her view of everyone else in the cave, but it shields her from any prying gazes too. It’s their own bubble, their own cocoon cast by the wide set of his shoulders. His face is pinched with concern, eyes watching her face in that unnerving way of his. Something in that stare has always had Nesta swearing that he could see through her in a way no one ever has, swearing that he could somehow see all the way down to her soul. From the moment Nesta met Cassian back on the crashed ship, that stare had her hackles raising, had her building her defensive walls that little bit thicker, that little bit taller.

“Are you well, Nes?” Cassian asks, his voice quiet and just for her.

Nesta almost wants to laugh at the question, at the absurdity of the notion of her ever being alright. How could anyone be alright after being kidnapped by aliens right from the safety of their bed? She's not sure she'll ever forget the feeling of waking up in a literal cage on that ship. She'll never forget the sight of both her sisters huddled together, both still in their night things and Elain silently crying. She'll never forget the fear that gripped her when Feyre, stubborn and determined as ever, decided to brave the snow of the unknown planet around them. She was sure that she'd never see her youngest sister again, watching her climb out of the safety of what remained of the cargo hold of the spaceship.

She sees it all every time she closes her eyes. She feels the cold metal biting into her skin through the thin material of her sleep shorts. She hears the hum of the engines as they flew through space, hears the clicks of those weird basketball head aliens. She feels that roiling fear twisting in her gut, tastes the tang of failure at the back of her tongue when she realized it wasn't just her but her sisters too that were going to suffer, that she couldn't save them.

Even now, even in this cave supposedly surrounded by aliens who say they only want to help, who swear they'll protect Elain and Feyre, Nesta can't shake that feeling. It still makes her pulse jump. Still makes her stomach twist and turn. Still has bile crawling up the back of her throat. Still makes her chest feel tight enough that it takes active effort to breathe in and out.

So, Nesta lets out a derisive snort, keeping her tone cold and cruel. “Are you fucking with me? I was thrown onto an alien planet covered in snow, and I have this stupid blue alien that never shuts up, that can’t take a hint and leave me alone, and you want to know if I’m well?”

Cassian continues to frown at her, and Nesta wonders if she’s finally hit the mark to drive him away, if she’s finally crossed the line. Wonders if he’ll give up on her now, grow tired of the effort and decide to cut his losses and walk away. She hates the way her heart gives a squeeze at the prospect, quickly squashing that feeling back down.

Rather than hear what Cassian might have to say, Nesta pushes up to her feet and walks away, pointedly ignoring the way she can feel Cassian’s stare prickling along her spine the whole way. She heads for the bathroom, ready to unwind for the evening and take refuge away from any more annoying aliens with piercing stares and concerned words in her personal cave, but when Nesta pulls down her pants, a small, quiet ping draws her attention.

She bends forward, squinting down at the ground in confusion, when she sees the culprit of the sound. Her blood runs cold, a ringing taking up home in her ears and her chest starting to heave with panicked breaths. Her fingers tremble as she reaches down and picks it up.

It’s an IUD.

It’s her IUD, the one thing that’s been keeping her from resonating with anyone.

“Fuck,” Nesta mutters to herself, her heart starting to thunder between her ribs.

Nesta tries to take a deep, calming breath in, but the air stutters in her lungs, catching on the lump pressing in around her throat. She curls her palm around the tiny device, her grip tight enough that her fingers bite into her skin, but just that small shock of pain is somehow grounding. She can’t let the panic get to her. She merely needs to come up with a plan, with her next steps.

The next breath that Nesta takes in is much more steady, and with a decided nod, she steps back out into the intricate cave system. Thankfully, there’s no one around and she’s able to slip back to her personal cave without running into anyone. She quickly slides the privacy screen into place, stepping over to the side of the cave where her furs are laid out. She grabs a pack and starts to stuff her spare leathers inside, tying a pair of snow-shoes to the straps before she stashes it in the corner out of sight.

And then she waits.

Nesta climbs beneath her furs and rolls over so her back is to the cave entrance. She keeps her focus on the wall instead, on keeping her breathing slow to give the illusion that she’s asleep. She’s not sure how much time passes before she hears light, lilting laughter just outside the cave, hears the deep rumble of a response. The privacy screen slides aside and Gwyn steps inside, quiet rustling coming from the other side of the cave as she slips beneath her own furs.

Despite the quiet that settles through their cave, Nesta can still hear the sounds of others in the main cave, but soon that dies down too. And then, just to be safe, she begins to count. She counts all the way up to a thousand before she finally sits up and pushes her furs down her legs. Keeping her movements slow, careful, she rolls her furs up, pausing periodically and glancing back toward Gwyn’s sleeping form. When her furs are gathered, she grabs her pack again, adding the furs and sliding the straps over her shoulders.

She pulls the privacy screen away from the cave entrance inch by slow inch, each scrape along the stone floor too loud in the silent cave and causing her to whip her head back around to check on Gwyn. When there’s finally enough space, she sticks her head out to check everything really is clear. The area around their cave is all empty; although it’s not all quiet. Nesta can hear one of the other women having an exciting end to her evening, and she rolls her eyes. At least, she can use it to her advantage, fully stepping out of the cave and carefully sliding the privacy screen back in place behind her.

She keeps to the walls, to the shadows, as she moves toward the main cave. Her steps are light but quick, and soon, the entrance is in sight. Freedom is in sight. Nesta spies two aliens on guard and standing between her and said freedom, Balthazar and some other name she can’t remember, but they seem to be invested in some sort of game that involves dice carved from bone.

It’s now or never clearly.

Holding her breath and keeping her eyes on the two aliens the whole time, Nesta makes a break for the cave entrance. It’s only when she steps outside that she finally releases the breath in relief, but she doesn’t waste any more time. She grabs her snowshoes and straps them onto her boots, readjusting her pack against her back and marching through the snow. Her steps are slow moving with the way her feet still sink in with every step, but her determination is stronger. She squints up at the sky, at the two moons glowing amongst the inky blacks and purples and tries to remember the way. They had passed a thick forest of trees, or what counts as trees on this godsforsaken planet, and there was—

“Nes!”

Nesta’s whole body freezes up at the sound of that nickname, at the sound of that familiar voice. She decides that she’ll just ignore him. Maybe, he’ll just assume that she’s going for an evening stroll, that she’s just getting some fresh air, and he’ll leave her alone. Of course, she should have known better when it comes to Cassian. Should have known that with his long legs, it would take him only a few strides to catch up with her.

“Nes, what are you doing?” Cassian’s grin falls away as he takes in her pack. “Where are you going?”

“I’m fine,” Nesta snaps, continuing to trudge forward through the snow. “Just leave me alone.”

“You should not be out here at night. It is dangerous.”

“I said I’m fine. I’m just going to the spaceship, the Elder’s Cave, whatever the fuck you call it.”

“Come back inside. We can go in the morning.”

“No,” Nesta argues. She can feel panic beginning to well up in her chest, digging in its claws and clogging her throat. “You don’t understand. I have to…”

Nesta’s words trail off as a strange sort of vibrating starts to take up home between her ribs, sending warmth ricocheting through Nesta’s veins all the way down to her toes. The hum even reaches her ears, seeming to grow faster, louder with each passing second. It’s somehow unsettling and leaves her feeling comforted at the same time, and Nesta is about to ask Cassian if he hears it too when she notices the way his eyes widen. The way he presses a hand to his chest, that odd humming seeming to echo from him too, a response to her own.

Realization of what’s happening hits Nesta like a bucket of ice water, that warm feeling vanishing quickly into icy dread. She swears that she’s going to be sick, her stomach twisting and roiling as she and Cassian continue to resonate with one another. This can’t be happening. She refuses to let this happen.

“No no no,” Nesta mutters, already shaking her head and backing away from him. Her snowshoe gets stuck with the movement and sends her stumbling backwards. Cassian’s hands reach out to her, but almost on instinct, Nesta’s entire body flinches. “Don’t touch me.”

Cassian’s expression looks pained, but slowly he reaches a single hand palm up toward her. “I just wish to help you up.”

Nesta can feel heat start to creep up her neck, but she swallows it back down. She settles her hand in Cassian’s, allowing him to pull her up and back onto her feet. As soon as she’s steady, he drops her hand and takes a pointed step back, giving her space, and Nesta hates the way her heart squeezes and swells at the gesture. Words twist and clog in the back of her throat, pressing and desperate for release, but she swallows them down and wraps her arms around herself.

“Are you going to make me go back inside now?” Nesta asks instead, staring Cassian down, daring him. “Lock me away in your cave?”

“No,” Cassian tells her, and Nesta’s shoulders slump in relief. “But only if you tell me why you wish to go to the Elder Cave so urgently.”

Nesta considers lying to him, considers making up some easy excuse, but she has a strong suspicion that Cassian would see straight through it. “There’s a… device that I have from earth. It’s what kept me from resonating, from having a mate, until now. It’s fallen out, and I need to go to the spaceship because it has a machine that can… put it back in basically.”

“And that’s what you want? To have it put back and to stop resonating.”

“Well, I certainly don’t want to be resonating right now.”

Cassian is quiet for a moment, and Nesta can do nothing but watch as a muscle in his jaw ticks beneath the moonlight. He turns his face away from her, gaze searching across the snow banks, and when he finally looks back at her, there’s something different about his expression, something colder, more closed off. Since the moment that Nesta has met him, there’s always been a warmth to Cassian, an easy openness that’s been a bit terrifying, especially when it’s directed at her, but now, it’s as if his own walls have risen and slid into place.

“Then I will escort you to the Elder Cave,” Cassian finally says. “I just need to grab a pack.”

Cassian turns and starts to move back toward the cave entrance, but Nesta steps forward and reaches out instinctively. “Wait! Will…” She takes a moment to swallow hard. “Will they know? That we resonated? They can't know, Cassian.”

“Almost the entire tribe is already asleep,” Cassian explains, not bothering to turn and look at her, his shoulders tense. “And if you stay out here and wait for me, then our khuis should be silent for now.”

“Okay…”

“Just stay here and wait for me.” Cassian finally turns to look at her again, a flicker of desperation dancing across his face. “Please.”

When Nesta doesn’t say anything else, when she doesn’t move, Cassian jogs the rest of the way to the entrance of the cave, and Nesta watches as he vanishes inside. A breeze blows past her, a shiver skittering its way up her spine, and she wraps her arms tighter around herself to fight off the chill. She glances out toward the expanse of snow around her, the light of the two moons bouncing off the crystalized flakes and leaving everything with an almost eerie glow. It’s unnerving, the quiet and the dark, and while Nesta would never admit it aloud, she’s suddenly glad that Cassian will be traveling with her.

As though her very thoughts have summoned him, the sound of a deep voice prickles her ears. The sounds of multiple deep voices. Nesta whips her attention back toward the cave entrance, her stomach dropping when she sees not just Cassian but Azriel standing there. They stop just outside the cave entrance, too far away for Nesta to hear what they’re saying, but it’s clear what, or whom, the topic of conversation is from the way Azriel’s gaze darts toward her.

Nesta waits for them to approach her. Waits for Cassian to announce their journey isn’t happening. Waits for Azriel to tell her to come back inside the cave. She considers what would happen if she refuses, if she decides to take her chances and see how far she can get trekking through the snow. But before she can even take a step, Cassian and Azriel are clasping forearms, Azriel turning and vanishing back inside the cave.

Nesta watches warily as Cassian walks back over to her. She tries to read his expression, tries to look for any sort of clue about what was said between him and Azriel, but Cassian keeps his face decidedly blank. It’s odd not seeing that teasing smirk he always directs at her, the wrongness of it all clanging through Nesta hard enough that she has to look away.

“What was that about?” Nesta asks once Cassian is close enough. “What did Azriel want?”

“Do not worry about it,” Cassian dismisses, tugging her pack off her shoulders and slinging it alongside the one on his own. “It’s this way.”

Something about his tone, about the way he starts to walk away from her through the snow without even a glance back, has her anger flaring. Those flames lick across her skin and leave her blood simmering. She’s been itching for a fight for a while now, pushing down the urge to let it all boil over, to release her claws, but she gives in to that feeling now. Clenching her fists at her side, she whirls around, storming after Cassian through the snow.

“So, what? Now you’re mad you have to escort me?” Nesta calls after him. “Did you forget that I didn’t ask you to? I was perfectly fine on my own.”

Cassian stops walking, turning back to face her, his tone dripping with a dry sort of sarcasm that Nesta didn’t know the sa-khui were capable of, as he drawls, “sorry I thwarted your wish to get eaten by a snow-cat.”

“You have no idea what I wish,” Nesta seethes, daring to step closer until they’re toe to toe.

“I know that you do not wish to be mates. You have made that perfectly clear.”

The words hang in the air between them, carried away on the night breeze. The world is quiet around them, nothing except their heaving breaths as Nesta glares up at him, Cassian meeting her stare head-on, a twin flame to meet her own blazing through his eyes. But it’s Cassian that breaks away first, taking a step back and readjusting the two packs slung across his backs before he continues the trek through the snow.

“It’s this way.”

—

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