#I'm sorry but uh I guess

[wolfiemcwolferson]

Please forward all distress and letters of complaint to the Piarles server. This is their fault.

As long as Pierre has known Charles, she has used her to measure time. When they were kids, it was how long until Charles could come over to play and stay for pizza and sleepover. When they were teenagers it was how long until their Thursday night study session that would always end in Charles falling asleep in Pierre’s bed while a movie played. When they were away at separate colleges, it was how long until their next planned visit. When she married him and moved away, it was always the time between calls or holidays.

Until.

Until Charles came home to her and at first, it was the time between smiles, the time between Charles laughing, the time between Charles slipping into bed and actually sleeping. The time between Charles leaving for that shitty office job and coming home with a sack of groceries and a story about her idiot boss. Pierre was counting the time between early morning diner breakfasts and late night movies on their couch and the small words that Charles would speak that broke Pierre’s heart. I’m not broken, right?  I don’t deserve to be cheated on? I’m not useless.

Pierre didn’t want to use those moments to count time, but she did because they became less and less frequent until they rarely happened. Until they were standing outside that diner they really liked and Charles slipped her hand into Pierre’s like she had done a thousand times, but when she had looked at Pierre...she had known it was different.

So now, Pierre measures time between lazy kisses on the couch that always end with Charles in her lap, Pierre’s hands tangled in her hair. The time between Pierre wiping her smudged lipstick off at the door as she leaves for work and when she comes home, slipping her shoes off at the door and climbing onto the counter while Pierre cooks them dinner. The time between Charles waking up in their bed and the first I love you of the day.

It’s the way it was always meant to be, she thinks one night while they’re sitting on the couch together, Charles’ feet in her lap, popcorn bucket clutched in her hands. Pierre looks at Charles and knows that they were always going to get here - that all the measured time was worth it and she just - “Have you ever thought about getting married again?”  Charles’ eyes are wide for about .3 seconds before they soften, reaching for the remote to pause the movie.  Pierre thinks it’s the worst bit of time she’s ever had to measure. “Do you want to get married, Pierre? You’ve never said -” and she waves a hand in the air to mean, you always said marriage wasn’t for you. The problem wasn’t marriage. The problem was picturing herself married to anyone but Charles. She swallows and wraps her hand around Charles’ ankle. “If it’s you. I’d like to get married, if it’s you.” Charles is quiet for too long, staring at the place Pierre is brushing her thumb over her ankle. “I’d get remarried. I’d want to -” her eyes meet Pierre’s and she can see the tears there, “If it’s you. I’d want to if it’s you.” “Okay,” Pierre smiles at her. “I’ll...we can talk more later, but okay.” Charles doesn’t immediately restart the movie though, wrinkles her nose up for a beat before saying, “Maybe I’ll ask you when you least expect it. Have you considered that?” Pierre’s heart goes wild at the thought and Charles sees it because she smirks and restarts the movie. She’ll do it, she realizes. After years of knowing her, she’s already made up her mind and this is something she’s decided to do.

Pierre has always measured time by the moments she has shared with Charles and these are the best of them.

#lesbian piarles #we went cuckoo in the discord server and I have brain rot #piarles #I'm sorry but uh I guess #cheating cw

[skrunksthatwunk]

non-comprehensive haruhi autism creature comp

i mean just look at him she's literally

#kiss kiss fall in love :| #i'm not kidding there's so many panels like this. haruhi is a little bug with big beautiful brown eyes. literally (O_O) #nobody else is drawn like this in the manga it's just haruhi #still going through the manga yippee #ohshc #ohshc manga #fujioka haruhi #haruhi fujioka #i am a big believer in autistic haruhi and this isn't the biggest reason but it is a funny reason to me #also hitting haruhi with the he/she headcanon beam. i can't help it but also i mean. maybe a little more justifiable with haruhi than anyon #else i can think of. like just look at the show idk read the manga #ouran high school host club #ouran koukou host club #woahh fancy fancy pulling out all the stops (i guess) #eugh i should stop writing tags my laundry's been done sitting in the dryer for like. 20 minutes #also sorry these images are so small and busted i uh didn't look at them before posting and am not going to fix them <3

[fallinglikemagic]

Okay, now that everybody's had some time to process and gotten some of the doomposting out, here's my thoughts on the whole situation.

First of all, I'm not really worried about whether or not RWBY will continue in some capacity. It's uncertain, sure, but no more than it was already. In February we got the update that they were talking to potential partners about getting volume 10 made, so clearly they weren't just relying on Rooster Teeth and Warner Brothers for it - maybe one of those companies will pick it up, maybe a different company will, either way I'm sure it *will* be picked up by somebody and unless they get real unlucky, the show won't be much worse off than it was before - if anything it might be better off, considering that WB have been shitty about animation for quite a while now (if you're not already familiar and you're up for some extra research, I recommend looking into the Coyote vs ACME situation that's been going on recently for a great example of WB's bullshit). And while it's unclear exactly how much involvement the original crew will have in the show's future, I'm pretty optimistic about it. I doubt the writers are going to let go of creative control without a fight, if for nothing else then for Monty - I don't like focusing too much on the whole Monty's Legacy stuff in general, but I do think that the crew are going to want to keep their friend's work alive and authentic and as accurate to what he wanted it to be as possible. None of this is a certainty of course, but I think RWBY is gonna be fine, things will just be kinda rocky for a bit.

With all that being said, while this may end up ultimately being a blessing in disguise for RWBY as a franchise, it sure ain't one for everybody who worked at Rooster Teeth. This entire situation is still horrible - so many people being fired on the spot, effective immediately, with no warning and with several of them only finding out by seeing articles about it being posted on Twitter, it's fucked. I know Rooster Teeth wasn't exactly lacking in controversy and problematic behaviour, to put it lightly, but there were still plenty of amazing people there who are now in a really shitty situation. On top of that, while again this isn't exactly anything new, especially for WB, it is the latest instance of a huge problem in the animation and entertainment industries. So no matter how things pan out for RWBY, we should still be really fucking mad about this.

And we definitely shouldn't be celebrating. I've seen some posts saying "good riddance" and celebrating RT's downfall, not just from people who hate RWBY (I mean don't get me wrong I'm sure the hatedom is out in full force but that's not the kind of thing I'm referring to right now), but people who like/used to like the show and just hated the company. And don't get me wrong, I didn't like a lot of things about the company either, I've actually been wanting RWBY to separate itself from RT for a pretty long time (be careful what you wish for I guess 💀), but there's a time and a place and this certainly ain't it. Plenty of people who have worked there have said that they loved their jobs, plenty of others said it was horrible and toxic and nightmarish, but either way a job is a job and in this industry work isn't always easy to find, especially in recent years. Celebrate in private if you want, but now is not the damn time to be bringing out the cake and confetti.

TLDR; I'm cautiously optimistic about RWBY's future, I'm pretty sure it'll be fine and they'll be able to keep the core crew to at least some extent, but this is still a really bad situation for everybody who just lost their jobs, don't be a dick.

#rwby #rooster teeth #what the fuck else are people tagging these kind of posts with uh #warner bros #I guess #anyway sorry if I sound kinda miffed in this post I'm just really tired. of a lot of shit #oh and just to be super 100% clear - even if RWBY had been just straight up cancelled the most important thing is still the workers #focus on giving them whatever support you can and don't pressure them to talk about the show and it's future #which I imagine most of you already know but just to be crystal clear on all this

[kugisakiss]

detective conan M28 (2025) character predictions

winners get bragging rights when the M28 trailers are leaked

conan movie timeline available below for anyone who wants it

#detective conan #dcmk #i put sera in as well because i guess m24 is also her movie? #i don't think she'll get a chance without the baggage that is akai but one can always dream #edit to add the year because uh i think the people who voted for kid/heiji may have misunderstood which movie i'm asking about #sorry i've been staring at the movie list page for so long i just automatically know which movie's m28 #unless everyone's just a kid/heiji fan and are hoping they get more movies

[stbot]

the new norm of studios not only cancelling shows with diverse casts and characters after a single shortened season but then immediately removing them entirely from their platforms so no one can ever legally watch them again is gross and frustrating enough on its own, but there’s something really insidious about the fact that so many of these shows were the recipients of targeted hate campaigns before they even aired just because they were deemed to be “too woke” or “too gay” and how that plays into the larger sociopolitical landscape rn.

like tv shows are not nearly as important as the very real actual human people being hurt and affected by current and proposed legislation, but we as a community and as individuals are being told on all fronts that we can’t exist; not in real life, and not even in the escapist fantasy of television shows

#i know i'm not saying anything that we as a community are not already aware of but like jesus fuck #every single time??? #the finale literally aired three weeks ago!!! wtf wtf wtf #grease rise of the pink ladies #willow 2022 #willow dared to have two queer actors playing lesbian love interests #rotpl really gave me two TWO queer nonbinary actors playing lesbian love interests #and then paramount dragged me out back like an old dog while disney smoked a pipe on the porch #like netflix and amazon both suck for a myriad of reasons #but at least they keep their cancelled shows on the platforms like some macabre roadside memorial to the sapphics #guess we'll see how long that lasts #sorry to be a bummer on main but uh i am Going Through Some Things and this all is super not helping

[meirimerens]

straight up not respecting some of the alleged p2 characters' ages as they were given on the VA's papers bc you're telling me this is a 27yo man on the left & a 35(!)yo woman on the right? you jest. this woman is in her 20s at most. she doesn't have a wrinkle of age on her face. just worry. i know men age like milk this is taking the piss. i know patho 2 is the "hot blemishless 20something white(-passing) women" game but at this point own it. don't try lying to me. she doesn't look a day past 29. got friends below 25 with more winkles. in the first half of the 20th century too. where would she be getting her anti-aging serums.

you're telling me this woman who's a chronic worrier, dealing with chronic pain, who smokes like a locomotive to cope is allegedly 5 years Older than this guy who's been drinking himself to sleep for like 5 years.

(mike's mic voice) don't piss me off

#alledged(?) VA papers? would love to have a peep. might go wander VK if i can make the trek #sorry for getting heated over p2 yulia again. it's no secret i vastly prefer her design in p1 #but this is aggravating. chrewly. #i know why that is. i knooooowwww why that is. it's because people in the team (coughs) (coughs) & in Media in general cannaeeeeee stand to #create women who actually look over 25. even women who are supposed to be older. #which while a media Trope/problem across media and genre it's not helped with a certain writer's. hmmm. alleged proclivities. #i would respect her being 35 if you have her to me looking 35. her skin is as smooth as 10 yrs younger Lara with one (1) slit #between the brows that just seems to come from her being a thinker & a worrier. nuh-uh! #ah hell naw!!! #i'm profoundly a p1 ages truther except for most of the kids + rubin. i know men age like milk but that guy is Not 23. #also p2 27yo daniil vs 30yo twins They Have Naht met at first year uni with that timeline. & it is important for me that they do. #most of the kids being averaged to ~15 real to me though. we all been here. #neigh (blabbers) #some of the ages on it make no sense [not just yulia but also like. aspity. who looks like a 20something & is actually ageless/5yo] #& while i can guess it's for like The Vibes / voice acting direction i assume it would make more sense to give the actual age & then add #like context to why they would sound older because that's something you might(?) need to know... would really want to see that with my eyes

[magicwhiskers29]

Happy final Flora Friday of the year!!!

Here's a collection of Flora sketches of different designs! In order, there's:

@ballwizard's Gentleman's Teabreak Flora

@deadinsideart's older Flora

@splashzix's NWoS Flora

@the-river-of-light's fancy dress Flora

@shittyclive's Flora with bugs

@magicwhiskers29 (My) Autumn disguise Flora

@magicwhiskers29 (Also my) Older adventurer Flora (new for this, so no link!)

@the-river-of-light's LMJ-era Flora

For a few notes on my new adventurer Flora, this is an idea for her maybe 8-10 years post-UF? She's taken a lot from Emmy, and is now off on her own adventures!

#Thank you to everyone for letting me use their designs! 💙 #Thanks to MJ for requesting LMJ-era Flora too! #professor layton #flora reinhold #Flora Friday #Art #Fanart #Whiskers draws #The reason why these are all uh. Digital sketches i guess? Is because i got a new scribe tool and immediately started using it for drawing #Notes? Never heard of them. Only sketches here >:) #It was really good for getting lots of designs done in not too much time #I have more sketches to post but they're not *all* Flora so I'm saving them for a bit ;) #Oh uh #I should probably #cw bugs #Just in case #Also also ahhh River I'm really sorry if this @ed you twice. I tried to test how it worked but I don't get notifications for @ing myself #Whoops i still don't know to describe clothes for the alt text

[science-lings]

I've been thinking a lot about Phoenix's family, and I got carried away so I'm going to put the whole essay below the cut, I'm so normal about him

I'm sorry there's just no way that Phoenix has any sort of normal family situation, not just because they're never mentioned even in passing as he goes through extremely major life events, but also because of how he is as a person. You cannot convince me that the guy who fell head over heels for Dahlia two seconds after meeting her had any sort of reliable support system in his life. When she got arrested the only person he could think about was a guy he hadn't seen since they were both nine instead of any current person who would likely care that he almost got poisoned and arrested for murder.

While I think it would be nice if he had lesbian moms who loved him, it just doesn't quite fit in with what we know about Phoenix. I mean, even in the WAA/WTA the only photograph on display is Zak's, and if there isn't a better person to put on the wall than the biological father of his daughter who abandoned her, that's pretty sad. (though I personally like to think that his portrait was there specifically as a target for things like darts and throwing knives). Plus, we already know from the thing with Dahlia that Phoenix's primary way of dealing with trauma and abusive people is just to pretend nothing happened and force himself to forget about them.

That's not even mentioning this guy's abandonment issues and complete willingness to adopt anyone he finds into his found family with zero hesitation. He meets Ema once for a few days, someone he has no personal connection to, but because she reminded him of Maya he stays in contact with her at some capacity to the point that he keeps her investigative tools with him and can have his name be used to gain her favor. Also, there's that new years art where she gets drunk with the Wright's and Apollo. And there are several more young adults/teenagers like that, he's got that foster kid to foster dad energy.

What I think makes the most sense is either that he was given up for adoption/ was an orphan in the foster care system who was passed around a lot, never getting too attached to one family, which led to his abandonment issues, or that he had a normal family life until something happened that estranged them from him. As a staunch believer in Transmasc Phoenix my thoughts are that he had transphobic parents so when he left for university he cut them off and changed his full name which explains why he is so desperate for emotional connection at that time. He suddenly has no one but a dream to find Miles and a girlfriend whose red flags he's completely blind to.

But honestly, there are so many reasons that people could come up with that would also make sense for his character. Maybe they were emotionally abusive and since everyone around him has dead or horrifically bad parents he's just not going to ever bring it up because who is he to complain when his besties are Maya Fey and Miles Edgeworth. Maybe they were just absent a lot and he had to take care of himself (and perhaps younger siblings) until he just couldn't take it anymore. Maybe they just tried to get him a girlfriend to settle down with one too many times and he just refuses to visit them, not even on holidays like Christmas or new years. It's just fascinating to me that there's absolutely nothing about them, I think there was even one of those little (official?) comics that poked fun at the fact that he doesn't really have parents, he may not even know who they are.

I also stand behind all of the ideas from my Phoenix Family HCs Poll because all of them would be so fun to explore even if some of them are total crack HCs. Tigre is only 16 years older than Phoenix but you can't say it's not possible that he messed around in high school and his girlfriend just gave up the kid for adoption and it would be so funny if Phoenix had to put his own father into prison after he pretended to be him.

In my Fem!Phoenix AU where I'm planning on expounding upon her relationship with the Feys and her own spiritual power (Phoenix does canonically talk to ghosts sometimes), the spirit of Ryunosuke found her and kind of became her imaginary friend who appears sometimes because I love him.

Even the idea of the goddess of law making him as an indestructible little terror on the legal system would be fascinating to expand upon. I would love to read about the whole concept of law being turned into a kind of religion, is she a single omniscient god (is she single?) or is she part of a larger pantheon? What would that mean for Phoenix?

I just can't even fathom that there's something normal going on with Phoenix and his family, I think he should pull an Apollo and secretly have the most batshit family backstory. Just looking at this guy and you know he has some kinds of issues, he was an art/theater major, he's got to be a little bit of that flavor of fucked up.

#i know it's funny if he's normal and just turned out Like That but I like to have fun here so I'm gonna be weird about him #also the poll has less than a day for votes so uh #check that out i guess #phoenix wright #ace attorney #hes a demigod but his godly mother just gives him the power to not die easy and pull some real silly stuff in court #I had too many thoughts im sorry

[dp1250]

Spamton Omori AU or something

#I'M SORRY #spamton au #headspace au #spamori? #headspam? #where spamton denies everything until he meets kris/player #big shot Spamton cuold be similar to Sunny's Omori I guess #also Spamton's something could be like swatchling-shaped or string-shaped #duet would be like tv show or performance battle or uh um... i have no idea haha or just normal battle like deltarune idk #headcannon where the blue addison is the addison to check Spamton on his eviction day from queen's mansion #just random idea #spamton #spamton g spamton #deltarune chapter 2 #deltarune ch 2 #deltarune

[styx1an]

why are there so many mods that remove harvey's mustache. it's an integral part of him, if you like him better without it then perhaps you should reevaluate your tastes

#stardew valley #sdv harvey #uh. this is very lighthearted if you come for me being pissed i'm sorry i guess???

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

Doing This

Anyways, I just wanted to take a moment to talk a little about part of why Spies Are Forever means so much to me.

Like many, many other people, I have lived some real-life version of "Doing This." I'm asexual, my romantic orientation is... complex, and after a lifetime of being taught a very allosexual concept of my own future, I really struggled to navigate what those ideas meant for me during my college years. Compulsory Heterosexuality is a hell of a thing, and I can remember watching the clock while making out with someone I thought I should, mentally calculating how soon I could end the evening without making things rude or uncomfortable.

(To be clear, no one ever forced me to do anything or was anything but respectful. It was all my own choice to follow a certain script and struggle on through discomfort.)

And then I would curl up in my bed and cry while listening to "Sunshine On My Shoulders" by John Denver over and over again. No, I do not understand that song choice either.

The resulting memories aren't... great. At the time, they further damaged my already shaky relationship with my asexuality. It was around then that Spies came out.

Watching "Doing This"... re-contextualized things. That scene allowed me to look at those moments of compulsory heterosexuality and genuinely laugh about them with fondness and patience for myself. And being able to do such a thing changed in the game in a way I didn't realize I needed. That silly spy musical that breaks my heart every time I see it also helped heal something.

So, yeah, thank you Tin Can Bros. and TalkFine for that song and those characters. And thank you Curt Mega and Mary Kate Wiles and Lauren Lopez for your pitch-perfect performances. They mattered. They matter.

#also art matters play your artists AMPTP!!! #weird thing to post about but I guess I'm uh #Doing This #hahaha sorry I'll see myself out now #Spies Are Forever #Agent Curt Mega #tatiana slozhno #TalkFine #tin can bros #rewatchers2000 #hahaha this is sooo personal oops

[babacontainsmultitudes]

80 or so years of life really ain't enough can I have an elf lifespan instead please? Or at least a dwarf's... I need at least a couple hundred years... Oh and a new spine every 5 or so years, if that's not too much to ask. 3. 3 years actually. Yeah, a new spine every 2 years, and a lifespan of 350-750 years, that's all I want really.

#SORRY this is such a random thing to be posting about and I guess it's a vent post haha #I suppose I've just been feeling a lot of... dread and fear lately... especially in the late hours... #''Lately'' as in on and off for most of my life but *a lot* as of the past few months #Like #Oh it's weirdly embarrassing to talk about this here it's a tad personal uh **tw (discussions of) death #But do you ever just feel paralyzed by the knowledge that one day you'll be 40? Or 60? Or 80? If you're lucky! #I worry a lot about wasting my life #I worry a lot about dying an unpleasant death #Or a painful one #I suppose I've always been gerascophobic... #But finishing school and turning 23 and not having a job and having just a hard time with my physical health lately... #I haven't been great I guess #I just feel like time has been moving so quickly lately!!! #And I've been going nowhere. #:0 not to be too much of a bummer y'all I'm not like feeling horrible rn or anything but I do need to vent I think #Cause if not it just stays coiled up inside of me. #*gah* I should channel all of this energy into Glenn in my pirate fic lol #😌 he's insecure (in part) cause he feels old #🥲 ough and I don't feel amazing about that most recent chapter but I guess that's a whole new vent #working on some different stuff for a bit. #ANYWAYS #I hope whoever happens to be reading this is having a good night ✨️ #oh or day if it's day for you lol

[winged-wolf-s-collection-of-arts]

NOTE: Scrapped idea, not canon!!

I realized I had been writing her very oddly, and she felt out of place... partly on purpose but I went a little far, and thought of the only way to excuse it!! I said Kiley was a college student around Our current day, and somehow got heavily modded fo4 to work in vr- (glances at hlvrai)

Thankfully I have reworked the plot and some personalities, a few days ago- we are still doing a layered reality story, but- well you'll have to wait and see ahaha.

Taglist: @typosandtea @pure-vanilla-lilies @mottinthemainpot

#[slaps desk] #AUGH #planned to be a sketch but you know how it is #I'm still doing a mashup au but... more reasonable and I actually have notes and stats #still going a bit off the rails though so watch out #extra note: mentioning highlights is important in my uh stories I guess #also WOW sorry for the time gap in drawings haha #wolfys art #little wastrels #described #fallout 4 #sure why not #ask if you want to be tagged!

[much-significant-harassment]

WHY CANT I JUST FUCKIN

AUGH

#Brain hurt #Comfort brought by concept of iterator snuggles #ps its art #rain world #ask to tag I guess? #It could be considered shipping but idk #If this makes you uncomfortable that I'm shoving my iterator sona with them unfollow right tf now because uh #Sorry but I'm love them

[zoroara]

December Belphegor Redraw 22 of 31!  

Buon Compleanno Belphegor~ As for his birthday I absolutely needed to get one of him as a kid. I had ruminated about doing the panel just before this with him and Rasiel, but well. He would've been made I made him share~ Maybe next year Rasiel, maybe next year. Speaking of this though I find the portrayals of how this went down, in Varia arc Vs Future arc very interesting. Because they're incredibly different in how they're described, in Varia arc Rasiel's murder is described as something Bel did Haphazardly, done without organization likely very sudden stabbing Rasiel to death. But then future arc clarifies from the both of them, that this could have been seen to be leading up from a mile away, and only if their parents genuinely were so neglectful to not pay any mind to this, or in fact encouraged this, that this would have ended up happening. I just find it very interesting how different it is and with the addition of how easily Bel clarifies it, I wonder how it lead to the conclusion that it was haphazard at all, or if it was even as simple as stabbing Rasiel to 'death'. Because it seems like Bel likely just has his idealized version that keeps getting broken down the more he was forced or corrected, you must wonder JUST how much of this is a lie how much MORE of it is to his favour? In the presence of his brother he had to be honest that they had always fought, and while Rasiel makes them move on quickly from this, he does state that Bel is "only saying things that benefit him" and "That he better not forget the face that didn't lose to him" to which Bel has no rebuttal against. What likely happened with the additional knowledge that Rasiel then says that day he was essentially poisoned with medicine, that Bel seeing an opportunity to finally end Rasiel then stabbed him violently very simple to figure. But even still there was likely much more of a struggle than Bel probably wants to admit if it was not considered a flat out loss for Rasiel now that he was proven to be alive to the point Bel didn't bother arguing that point. Bel may have been wounded himself and in his haste to solve that, may have been the small opening of chance for Rasiel to survive that Byakuran needed to manipulate so that Rasiel could survive in the future timeline. (just don't fucking ask me how that works because I don't see how he could affect something so far back. Maybe Byakuran just fucking lied to Rasiel and used other powers as "proof" to convince Rasiel that his survival was actually his doing.)

The Image I redrew is under the cut, just to keep the post small.

Not related to the whole murder(funny sentence I know), but it is said that Bel hides his eyes to prevent like a fucking political incident, but like. HE WAS WEARING HIS HAIR LIKE THIS SINCE BEFORE THIS I THINK PEOPLE WOULD ACTUALLY REALIZE MORE SINCE HE KEPT IT THAT WAY.

#khr #katekyo hitman reborn #varia #belphegor #my art #fanart #redraw #blood #uhhhh so this turned REALLY long #I guess uh #I had a lot more thoughts on the matter than I thought i did #love unreliable narrators #also love that poisoning him is apparently considered fake genius #wdym rasiel i'm sorry bro but he tricked you #like i don't know what you fucking want from him he used his resources well actually #also love that knives are considered an escalation from LARGE ROCKS that are like the size of a SOCCER BALL? #I THINK THE ROCKS ARE WORSE GUYS IDK #INTERNAL BLEEDING AND BROKEN BONES FEELS A LOT MORE BRUTAL THAN WEAPONS INTENDED FOR KILLING

[lucyvaleheart]

.

#supposed to log good things #most of day was negative feelings and sadness #then. i remember feeling good #and then. tthe good went away #rreplaxed with the usual self doubt and loathing #the feelings of undesirability #the wish that i was. attractive in any way to anyone close to me that anyone wanted to. touch me #that i wasn't horrifically gross and disgusting #do the people who hold me do it out of pity? am i really so awful #pictures get a lot of praise #sometimes #less so lately #maybe the novelty of my personality has worn off #maybe seeing how broken i am #such a shambling wailing mess of a girl #....has made people realize how ugly i am #i don't know. its hard to care most nights #I'm supposed to feel better in the mornings #i don't usually #I used to #now i just feel..... dead inside #like a walking corpse #some part of me wants to make that reality #sigh. #anyway. #im sorry you had to read this whoever you are that's made it this far #it's a cry for help but my discord status says don't message me so it's. probably not gonna get much lol #.....i guess uh. if you've read this far and do want to say something you can take this tag in particular as a one time pass to do so #....i make no guarentees I'll respond but i will guarentee that i won't kill myself. at least not tonight or even any time this week