#I'm just so angry and upset all the time and i just want to fucking see Seattle again

[buildarocketboys]

Dear transmascs,

I love y'all, I appreciate your posts and find solidarity in your struggles. But please, PLEASE could you acknowledge that some (many) trans people who don't identify as transmasc share in the same struggles? Please could you acknowledge non-transmasc (afab) non-binary/genderqueer people in your posts that also affect them once in a while? Could you please NOT co-opt the death of a NON-BINARY trans person to talk about how transmascs are oppressed for being transmasculine? Like, yes, there are overlaps between transandrophobia and enbyphobia (and transmisogyny) and these are important to talk about but please realise that you can do this WITHOUT erasing non-binary people who do not identify as transmasc.

Idk maybe this seems like a non-issue to a lot of people but it's honestly deeply fucking upsetting to me, as an (afab) genderqueer person. I'm not saying you have to make all posts about transmasc people about non-binary people as well but please just. When something is ABOUT a non-binary person and that person doesn't explicitly identify as transmasc, please, please don't erase their identity and make it ONLY about the experience of being transmasc??

I'm so fucking tired.

Signed,

A genderqueer person

(btw if you come on this post being shitty about transmascs or talking about how transandrophobia isn't real or whatever, you're getting an instant block. This ain't about that, transandrophobia is real but so is enbyphobia/exorsexism.)

#ugh please don't fucking discourse on this post #but like #i see this shit all the time and mostly it's whatever #but I just saw a post doing this for that non-binary teenager who got killed #the poster acknowledged that they don't even know if they identified as transmasc or not #but still continued to use transmasc 'as an umbrella term' #please can you fucking not god #like you can talk about the overlap and how non-binary people are also affected by transandrophobia #without assuming all of them are transmasc/erasing the ones that aren't #sometimes! it's ok to say afab trans people!! #i know it gets used in a misgendering way sometimes but guess what? calling nb people transmasc when they're NOT #is ALSO MISGENDERING #im trying not to be bc i don't want to upset ppl but im so angry I'm sorry #trans stuff

[ailinu]

i am not indulging my worst impulses but i sure do want to.

#i have. a tendency to feel angry/upset when help is offered 'too late'. as it were. #and it's not a good tendency and i'm aware of that and keep a lid on it #it's just very. like. it's very *something* to spend two years in a situation that everyone acknowledges sucks #and it's only after you hit a breaking point and go 'well maybe i should just leave. like maybe i don't have to finish grad school' #and start like actually making preparations to do so #for people to start going 'well we finally have work we need you for. here's what you need to graduate.' #'we can probably get this done in a little over a year' #and i know the right thing to do is figure out what i want and accept the help #and---frankly---probably tough it out and finish grad school #but my goodness i just want to shout and burn bridges #like. 'it's not good to linger too long in grad school' no fucking shit my guy. why haven't you done something about this before. #why hasn't *anyone* done something about this? #newsflash! i needed support and direction *the whole time*! and you all knew it and did nothing! #anyway this is very unprofessional of me and not doing any good. help is help and it's better now than never i guess. #i'm just very upset and it has nowhere to go

[itgoeso]

.

#one of the most annoying parts of having bpd isn’t even part of the bpd itself but it's the stigma #and don’t get me wrong this shit is FUCKING HELL and very hard and embarrassing #but the way people think bpd is somehow the same thing as sociopathy or psychopathy is just like ?????????????? #and the way even doctors are so sensationalist about it and it does affect your overall hope for how you're gonna be able to #idk navigate life with it. because they make it look like someone who has bpd #is just the worst most difficult and awful human being on earth #like everyone else isn't difficult everyone else doesn't struggle w emotions or relationships or abandonment #and the way they approach it truly makes you feel like you're damaged for life and you're broken and you're doomed #i could go on and on about how this is just upsetting and like sometimes when people learn that i have bpd they're surprised #because i keep a lot of things and feelings to myself because i don't want to be the stereotype #i'm venting but what i mean is that i think the stigma around bpd just makes everything harder #for instance i feel the need to be centred because otherwise i'll be perceived as a bpd stereotype #so i can't get angry i can't get upset i can't get sad i can't miss someone i can't need someone #i can't fear not having someone in my life anymore i can't fear being alone and so on #i have to be manageable and cool and nonchalant and complaisant all the time #sometimes i feel like i'm not allowed to be a person BECAUSE i have bpd #but yeah i'm yet to learn to not give a shit about how people perceive me but there are days that this is harder than others

[dazais-guardian-angel]

feeling sick to my stomach after that finale, actually, wow

#i. think it may be time to drop off tumblr for a while again #lmao as if i'm that active anyway #ik this is quite reactionary but i can already tell that i'm in the minority opinion here since everyone else seems happy soooooo #i dont wanna rain on peoples' parade #anyway. most of the posts i made prior aged like milk huh :)))))))) #i'm just. kinda speechless. #i've been in a state of shock since this morning #there are no words #am i living in a fucking fever dream?? am i high??? is this an alternate reality??????? #who fucking knows #i'm just......... so numb i dont even know what to feel or say #wow. man. Man. #i'm just. going against everything i'd been assuming the last few weeks. #and praying to all that is holy that this doesn't end up being canon in the manga #i have to cling to that because that's the only hope i have rn #i just really want to fucking cry i'm so angry and hurt and upset at how horrible this was wow #bones has always sucked ass but for the first time ever i don't know whether this is all them or asagiri too. and that's. that. well!!!

[vulpinesaint]

actually going to throw the hugest fit over my parents making me do dishes. i am HAPPY to do dishes on assigned nights. it's FINE. i hate it so much but i'll get it done and if i'm having constant breakdowns over it then like. idk. maybe that's another issue that you should be looking into but it doesn't mean that i'm not up for doing the dishes. but now my mom wants to have the five of us just. do the dishes on a rotation? which is FUCKED cause i have SHIT to do! the fuck happens when i have dnd? or want to go out with a friend? or have class until late? literally worst fucking idea on earth i can do the fucking dishes but i have to be PREPARED for it. for instance don't make it so every other week i'll be fucking Doing something when it's my night to do the dishes

#so tired and lowkey pissed off about this i'm going to cry #my mom got rlly upset cause the dishes weren't getting done. fair. #my nights got Done most of the time and i volunteered to take on an extra night so idk. i think that should count for something. #but she got upset and said that she would just do dishes from now on #and then realized it was a lot of work and said she couldn't do it on her own and needed people to help #and then said 'we should do it this way!' and never actually implemented that way #like. just said it out loud. but then like. expected it to magically happen? #babe you can't just throw out a hypothetical and go 'alright! now that i have spoken it into existence it's going to happen' #fucking WHATEVER though. cause now it's going to be my fun little dishes night on friday when i have dnd. #first fuckin round of it. #and it's not even that i don't want to i CAN'T do the fucking dishes on friday cause i'm barely in the house! #i'll be home on friday after work for fifteen minutes tops! #so. going to complain. literally some of us have schedules that take up the nighttime. #sorry that neither of my little siblings hang out with people or have regular social engagements or work late or have class late. #but unfortunately i'm literally doing shit. and i need to incorporate things into my schedule or it's gonna fuck all my shit up #and then people will be angry with me for not getting the dishes done. so. again. fuck me i guess #it'll be fine i'll talk to her i just. ugh. the world if mothers just fucking talked about what they wanted and needed to happen #she proposed that Multiple weeks ago and just now i heard her in the kitchen going 'i thought we were doing this...' #bitch since WHEN??? SINCE WHEN??? YOU HAVEN'T BROUGHT IT UP IN A FULL WEEK AT LEAST #throwing my fucking laptop against the wall i'm so fucking tired i just want to sleep #valentine notes

[clowngremlin]

i’m so mad.....apparently a shirt i ordered is getting sent back to the sender because the fucking delivery people couldn’t deliver it to me.....only problem is they never tried to deliver it to me???? my dad and i were home on all the days they tried to deliver it, and we had no one phoning to be buzzed in, no one phoned me, absolutely nothing??? and they tried to deliver it fucking 3 times and now it’s getting sent back to where it came from and so i’m like pissed off

#upset gremlin noises #I HAD TO WRITE EMAILS TO THE MERCH COMPANY AND THE PACKAGE DELIVERY COMPANY....THE HORROR OF IT ALL #i really hope they send me back the package so i can get my shirt i don't want a refund #and the fucked up thing is i ordered something from the same band before and it came just fine??? #just this time whoever was supposed to be delivering my package fucked it up so horrifically #like they didn't even try to deliver it and left like absolutely NO note or anything??? #idk i'm like so confused and angry

[talkorsomething]

Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................

Well, it's only half related.

We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.

I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...

I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.

Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?

Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.

November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?

There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.

I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.

...push it back down.

Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.

It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.

I don't know you.

I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?

Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.

It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.

I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.

... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.

I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.

...

I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.

I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.

Will someone just let me say that?

Will someone just fucking help for once?

#sh tw #(implied - i know i didnt actually say it in the post but yes i did c** myself sunday) #100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ #im cursed with being a bit too self aware so #i think its compounded by my nepotism hire ... not letting me do my nepotism hire things #(for legal reasons i cannot say) #and then to add to that not letting me do anything I probably COULD actually do given slightly more instruction (at guard) #its just ... im a very angry person actually . except right now thats because im not EATING RIGHT EITHER #BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS ARE COMBINING INTO ONE BIG INTERCONNECTED PROBLEM #back to my point. #guard instructors decided that for my first year i will not do anything cool because i'm not able to learn in about 2 seconds flat #[read: get very upset very quickly when i get things wrong and then . cant do them because im trying not to have a breakdown over] #[something REALLY STUPID like NOT BEING ABLE TO DO A SIMPLE TURN WHILE MOVING WITH THE FLAG] #so like okay. i get it okay. i'm not good at this. could you at least TELL ME i suck so i can feel justified about feeling bad about it. #could you just fucking tell me this isn't a guard where you can show up with no experience. could you do me a real solid and tell me that. #i dont know maybe the real sign it wasnt for me was when i was seriously considering not turning up for the second 'audition' #really i just hate how much he yells at us. not even at ME because i do so little there is no room to fuck it up. just at everyone else . #it doesn't motivate me to come back but i NEED 'friends' so bad and i love performing so now i just get anxious enough that i cant eat .. #.. before going to rehearsal. which is stupid. because i've done it a million times before. #...... #i'm just.... everyone says he isn't actually that bad. & he used to be worse. so it really is just me. #it's just me being oversensitive. because i've never had any REAL experience in ... just about anything #so; yes. it IS on me how I feel and obviously how I react. and I keep pushing it down because it's stupid; really; to still feel this way. #anyways. our last weekend without a competition is this very weekend #so you'll never guess who's having a REALLY FUCKING HARD TIME trying to practice #i'm like this close to going to bed early and without having done the dance warmup for the third day in a row. #лёва there is no TIME why are you STILL NOT PRACTICING for the love of god get it together #(oh also when i say 'friends' in quotes it is because i desparately want to believe we're friends but they dont even talk to me really) #(and because im not even IN most of the show theres not much to bond over. literally like i have everything down Decent enough (apparently) #so theres not even any 'i will help u with this toss' team bonding. no shared moment of we are all out of breath because i DONT DO ANYTHING

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

#warm up #writeblr #this one has bothered me for a bit #any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime #hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying #as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing #like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts #why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge #''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it #ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace #if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!! #men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible #ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing #the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....

[the-cooler-king]

Anthy himemiya gives me the strength once again to get through the day...

#Was driving to work today and I've been thinking about a Past Event #Because I've got intimacy issues and that's the reason why #And I was thinking of all the times I fought however I could #And I thought of anthy staying with akio just for a chance to see him bleed #People often hate anthy for not being a perfect victim #For staying because she thinks she deserves the pain. That akio deserves it too #Her defiance of him at times serves her no purpose other than to be defiant or protect utena #Idk I was just suddenly... furious #So fucking angry and upset because I WAS fighting. Physically pushing this person away #On *multiple occassions*. And having to distract them from that act in favor of a different one #I'm still kind of mad but not as dizzyingly angry as I was earlier #I'm working on it but the stages of grief are not fucking linear and anger permeates every layer #Just want to see my cute hot not-boyfriend and have him hug me n tell me it'll work out #Tomorrow will be different. It might not be better but it won't be today

[sensitivegoblin]

Unsafe vent

#fuckkkkk I hate my life #I wanna die so fucking bad #I'm so violently angry the only thing keeping me from SH is the fact that the stupid box cutter I bought isn't sharp enough #so I end up just scratching my arm which gets itchy and releases nothing #I wish I could just slit my wrists and end it all #my dad wants ME to make up with my sister before thanksgiving because: 'she will never say sorry you know that' #so I'm so fucking stesssed all of the time #and I have extremely painful ass problems so someone's gotta look at it tomorrow #which isn't helping how upset and mad and stressed I've been #I'm in love with my best friend and I'm probably gonna lose them cus I can't be happy they're in a relationship cus I'm wildly in love still #even tho I don't want to be I just wanna be happy and love them as a friend #so that ontop of basically losing my sister and losing my dad as a crutch; I wanna smash my head into a wall constantly #there's just so much on top of the sister thing and the sister thing already broke me #now I'm particles of dust #I'm so fucking angry that once again in order to keep her in my life; I gotta bow down to my tyrant of a sister #first my sister broke my trust by reading my stupid book #then my dad broke my trust by being a fucking orge freak and taking her side when I thought I had him to lean on #i fucking have no one now #seriously it's not fair that I have to keep living when all I feel is pain

[angeltism]

this doesn't feel fair

#➳ valentin vents #so much i could say. not that there's a point in saying anything. but also not that that's ever stopped me. #i knew it'd end. i knew i wouldn't be able to handle staying friends. but it still feels unfair. #i keep cycling through ''i am literally so chill i am vibing'' - ''ok i'm kinda sad but thats ok'' n ''throbbing chest pain why why why'' #i don't know what i want. i can't think of a solution to feeling this way. all i can do is wait but i want to feel better now. #there was no way to fix things as there was nothing to be fixed. #but it still hurts. i'm still jealous. that's all i'm good at being. #i'm sad but i don't know why i'm sad. if i stop and really think i should only be a little sad. #i want to be angry but there's nobody to reasonably be angry at. nobody's done anything wrong. #i can only imagine how i'm the only one feeling this way lmao #maybe that's another of my ''source my anxiety told me'' thoughts but #i also just can't imagine why someone would actually be upset no longer having me in their life? #especially when there's other beings. there's someone else. there always has been. #i don't even know what i wantttt #i don't want to date again. bad idea. i'm too scared. i need to recover. i should focus on myself. #but i don't want to be alone. it's terrible. #i don't regret anything. i think. it's not like with my abuser where i regret each and every thing. #it was a good thing. if nothing else i know more about my needs. i know how to have courage to bring up issues. #i know when it's time to stop trying and to let go. i guess. #idk oh my god this is a fucking novel #again heyy could be worse. if uu think this is annoying ya'll should've seen me while i was w my abuser JDJFKJDNJD #i'd literally vent like every day abt him. which honestly fair he gave me a lot of trust issues. but rip to everybun who knew me in 2022 fr #* ok i have realized it's like. the exact same so far bc i've kept venting abt this LMFAOOO but uhh. #the venting back then was MUCH more colorfully worded and often. and less somber more ''i fucking hate c's guts i want that [insults] DEAD' #and like every 30 minutes. at least ya'll r getting pauses between my annoying ass posts HJDHJFH

[jyoongim]

Hear me out. I can't be the only one that wants to fuck Al's demon form. Like not just the black eyed tentacle gig, I'm talking full form like the size and all 😭 I can take it I swear, Al (narrator: she could not)

Title: A Reminder To All…

Themes: its giving monster fuc but like oof, demon!form Alastor, tentacles, established relationship, rough sex, growling, blood, possessive behavior, antlers, animalistic behaviors.

It was a rather quiet afternoon at the Hazbin Hotel.

You were up in the radio tower straightening a few things while Alastor was out doing gods know what 

You decided that since you had cleaned up most of the place that you would take a stroll through town as some down time.

You hummed a tune as you passed many sinners out and about. Your stroll led pass the digital shop. You slowed as you noticed a crowd gathered outside a Voxtech store.

There were multiple tvs playing things in the windows and what caught your attention was the deals they had going on.

You bit your lip. Oh it couldnt hurt to window shop right?

You entered and was immediately overwhelmed by all the fancy tech.

why did hell need modern tech you had no idea.

A shiny pink camera caught your attention.

And it was cheap.

You did need a new camera. It would help with advertisement and to show the progress of the hotel you thought as you happily paid for it and went about your way.

what you didn’t know was that Vox had been tracking you the moment you left the hotel.

that camera of yours was now his gateway into seeing what Alastor was up to.

Once back at the hotel you pulled out your shiny new purchase.

you turned it on and walked around filming a bit.

You checking the footage to check out the quality when you heard a record scratch

”what is that my dear?” 

You jumped at the sound of Alastor’s voice and spun around holding the camera

His eyes narrowed on it and quirked his brow at you, airing for an explanation.

”Well Al I-I just thought that the hotel could use a camera to help with promoting. We can record our progress. Now you don’t have to do all the work.” You said with a nervous smile, hoping he wouldn’t toss it.

He walked closer to you, mainly keeping his eyes on the tech.

”and where did you get such a frivolous thing?” 

you gulped “At the v-voxtech store”

His ever-present smile tightened before he shrugged “fine if you think it’ll help”

you breathed a sigh of relief and happily went about your way testing it out.

Unaware of the growing shadows emitting from him.

after spending a few hours getting the hang of your new device, you decided to call it a night and put your camera on your nightstand as you got ready for bed.

You shivered slightly under your cover, grumbling you furrowed further to seek some warmth.

why the hell was it so cold?

you shifted again in bed to feel a heavy weight on top of you.

your eyes flew open and you were met with a very frightening sight.

Alastor.

In his demon form.

Your breath got caught in your throat “A-Al?”

He tilted his head, smile wide and sharp “Sleeping well my dear?” His voice was staticky and distorted.

you were so confused.

you hardly EVER saw Alastor upset, especially to the point were he was in his demon form.

“Why is that in your room dear?” He hissed out, jutting his chin to your camera.

You tilted your head confused at his question.

he was angry about a damn camera?

A clawed hand was at your throat.

”I allow many things dear, but this unattractive piece of scrap in your room? That is where I draw the line”

You let out a squeak as your clothes suddenly disappeared and covers ripped away.

”A-Al?!”

Your hands were quickly restrained by his shadows and your legs were spreaded to welcome him closer.

when the hell did he undress?

You felt the faint ghost touch of a tentacle slide against your cunt, teasing your clit. You let out a soft moan.

”Already soaking dearest?” He hummed amused.

You felt the weight of his dick slap against your cunt.

your eyes widened he wasn’t going to…

”Alastor w-wait! I c-can’t!”

A long tongue sweated the side of your face

”But you will darling” and with that he slammed into you.

Your body seized at the sudden intrusion. You let out a cry that was silenced by a tentacle wrapping around your mouth.

Alastor rutted into you, growling and snarling.

Your eyes faintly drifted to the camera by your bed.

A blinking red dot turned on and off.

Alastor gave you a rather harsh thrust.

”eyes on me dear”

you whined loudly, trying to shift your body to accommodate to his harsh thrusting. Your eyes drifted to the top of his head.

Antlers.

you felt your fingers itch with the need to find purchase on them.

you gave a tug at the shadows and huffed, making little grabbing motions hoping he would get the hint.

he granted you grace and your hands immediately flew to his antlers.

He let outa low growl and sunk his teeth into your shoulder.

With his dick hitting that delious spot inside you, you could feel him bottoming out.

You were flipped onto your stomach, facing the camera.

the shadow around your mouth disappeared and a claw hand found your tongue.

”put on a show Mon cher” You felt him flush against you.

Moans and whines filled the room as he  pounded your cunt.

A high pitch whine left your throat as you felt your cunt clench around him.

you were gonna cum soon.

”A-Al-la-stor Ah!” Your eyes crossed as your body tensed and twitched from your orgasm. He let out a deep growl and quickened his pace.

Did he get bigger?

you were suddenly face to face with him.

Your noses brushing against each other as he sought after his own release.

Your arms wrapped around his elongated neck and a hand found one of his ears.

you tugged.

Static ran through your body as he slapped his lips on yours and slammed his hips into you, purring as he filled you with his cum.

you whimpered as your legs were finally released and dropped.

Alastor was breathing heavy as he reached over to the camera

”hope you enjoyed the show old pal” he laughed before destroying the camera.

you were drifting to sleep as you watched him transform back to normal.

”sleep well my dear” was the last thing you heard as he tucked you into his side, humming a soft tune with a wide smile.

He gave a reminder.

Dont fuck with the Radio Demon.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor the radio demon #alastor #alastor x reader #alastor x y/n #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor smut #jyoongim

[kringelorde]

if I have to replace my oil pump before summer ends I’m going to start mailing GM parcels of piss

#spext #fuck meee fuck meeee it better just be my sending unit or BETTER YET my stupid little piece of shit fake dummy gauge #bc god knows GM never bothered ACTUALLY making half their gauges show real information #I wouldn't be UPSEt that the oil pump went out on an engine with almost 200k on it but I 1. don't have the money 2. hate the idea of #driving 200 mi to houston to do it 3. don't have the time off and #4. don't want to do it in 110F heat #it doesn't help that it's a bottom-of-the-engine replacement and I believe it sits under #my fucking crankcase pulley which OH BROTHER that's a big bitch to pull #so I have to lift her and really make sure she's STABLE bc I'm going to be yanking that shit around from underneath and I do NOT feel like #having my fucking ribs crushed in th eprocess #mad pissed angry mad pissed angry angry mad pissed #I dunno if the pick up tube is a cheaper fix if that's all it is but it still necessitates the pulling of the fucking pump probably #and at that point like I may as fucking well just do the whole thing UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU #unless I can get to it by pulling the oil pan #my oil pressure doesn't make sense which is why I'm HOPING it's actually something topside bc it bounces like fucking crazy and sometimes #goes up when I give it more gas and sometimes it drops and can hit zero but the engine still turns just fine #despite power being cut substantially (partially bc there's an in-built killswitch in these cars where if the sending unit sensor doesn't #detect oil it'll limp and shut off the engine to prevent damage and I know this bc my fucking stupid little #piece of shit sensor snapped in half so it would loll about and sometimes lose contact with the membrane to detect pressure and just shut #off randomly until I pulled over and the force of hitting my brakes from 80 mph would shove it #back in place like that little fucker was just FLOPPING around back there and it is a metal cylinder the size of a lugnut socket #) but it makes me real fucking nervous bc I do not know EXACTLY what a shot oil pump #will do when it really goes all the way out on my engine but I do NOT have the money to rebuild her #and I would rather kill myself than get a new car she's my fucking BABY #GUH.