#I'm genuinely obsessed with him. i'm sorry if my posts get fucking weird about him

[brokerkisser]

Mumma brokers + some shirtless beast idk who that is.

#I LOVEEE BROKERRR I LOVEE BROKERRR #I'm genuinely obsessed with him. i'm sorry if my posts get fucking weird about him #he's a damn skeleton and balding and probably dying #But I can stop him from dying! I'm not fixxing his issues outside of that. #His issues make him attractive #oops. #voidexia #phighting fanart #phighting broker #phighting! #phighting #roblox art #artists on tumblr #digital fanart #digital art #digitalart #drawing #queer artist #artwork #art #voidexiart

[calware]

dear calware, I'm not sure how much you know on the topic of Doc Scratch, but I was wondering, why is the common consensus around him that he's like a creepy pedophile? after rereading his messages with Rose, he seems more tone deaf and weird than a fully on creep. is there something I'm missing?

scratch isn't "literally" a pedophile (or a hebephile, which is the accurate term for this situation) which we know because of this

but at the same time, that is still the Way he's written

(i'm sorry if this following explanation is confusing.... i really do not have the right wording to describe it) it's almost like a metaphorical representation. he's a child predator in every way but the actual sexual attraction. the way he's written references the behavior of actual child predators and is meant to signal to the audience that this is the Kind Of Character he is. it's a literary tool(?)to tell the audience that he is literally taking advantage of characters in various ways (as well as straight up abusing damara) while at the time comparing it to child sexual abuse

but if you do want literal actions on his part, he does Literally groom young girls and they are his targets for manipulation

also, directly from the author commentary (which. is not 100% serious at times. but i do think it sometimes offers some actual insight):

I know I just said a bunch of stuff about [DD] maybe being a creep. But look, this is just my OPINION here. I don't think he's actually being creepy about this. I think he has a genuinely parental attitude toward Aradia and wants to see her succeed in her violent and underhanded schemes. See how he wants them to conduct their business with efficiency? He's way too professional to go Full Doc on these girls.

Another peek at Rose suggests she's still at it with her creepy uncle, Doc Scratch.

Then you have a few beats of conversation which bring Equius to mind, such as the creep-factor

[Dirk and Equius] have this creepy-guy streak running through them, with strange or offputting interests, and seem to get a quiet kick out of making others uncomfortable through demonstrations of these fascinations. [...] I'd say these self-examined qualities are just drawn out, isolated, and inflated both for dramatic effect, and also as critical write-up of those qualities existing within many human beings in general, which I would like to think is grounded in a creative process involving a certain degree of humility about some of this bullshit. I like all these characters here, but that doesn't mean I think their unpleasant qualities are good. It just means I am harnessing and heightening those qualities for creating strong villainous portraits.

We start getting the sense that the entire purpose of this conversation, from Doc's vantage point, is just to passive-aggressively manipulate Rose into peering directly into one of his cursed testicles. Wait, my youth pastor is literally barking like a dog right now for some reason. Probably because I put him on a leash and tied him to a post in the backyard. I guess I fucked up again? I mean one of Doc's seeds.

Maybe it's fair to say I have a higher than average tolerance troubling content. But even I have to admit to shuddering a little when I read Doc's creepy lines toward Rose. I think Doc's creep factor toward girls is most likely channeling part of Caliborn's personality, which almost seems to revolve around his horrid attitude toward women. For Caliborn, this weird combination of wrathful misogyny, yet fixation and obsession with certain girls, is obviously central to the type of real-world profile he's meant to portray. But when his personality is more muted among the collective in Doc's head, those qualities come across as more "restrained," "polite," and "flattering," which arguably just makes it all creepier. The result is a creepy dude profile that also exists in the real world, sort of adjacent to the Full Caliborns out there. There seem to be many stripes of this kind of unfortunate male behavior, which all exists in a broader family of sub-Caliborns. The Docs, the Eridans, the Cronuses… They're all sketchy in different ways.

Doc sitting back just to "watch" is another creepy Equiusism. Remember that was a thing with him.

I wonder what Jade would think if she knew she had in her possession since childhood one of Doc's testicORACLES!!! Oracles. The word I meant to say was oracles, not anything else. Anyway, like I was saying, how would Jade react if she realized every time she played with one of her beloved toys, she was actually fondling this weirdo's plump, juicy oracle. I know you think my youth pastor may have something to do with this peculiar outburst, but you're wrong. I "dismissed" him recently, because he told me with great pride that I learned everything he had to teach me. I don't need anyone to keep me from shoving my foot in my mouth anymore, I'm sure you'll be pleased to know. Now let's watch this grieving teen receive a demonic message from an evil puppet's big fat nut.

bonus commentary from book 6 that has nothing to do with the post:

We're reaching a specific kind of story partition. Not the end of an act, but the end of a year. Also an end of "disc," which is a kind of meta-partitioning I just made up for the purpose of closing the book on two years of content, as well as being a good meta-device for introducing the Doc sequence we're about to get into in the next book.

"next book"...... sad

#ask #jestinggenesis #feel the need to mention that. so much of this makes me cringe while reading it

[king-zacharyy]

IF YOU HATE HELLUVA BOSS, HAZBIN HOTEL, AND/OR STOLITZ, DO. NOT. INTERACT. (WITH THIS POST OR MY PAGE)

Okay, I am currently rewatching Helluva Boss, and I just finished S1 Ep7: OZZIE'S, and... How do some people genuinely believe Stolitz is one-sided?

From what I've seen, Blitzø absolutely returns Stolas' feelings, even if he refuses to acknowledge/accept that he does. A lot of people, from what I've seen, have been using Blitzø' words to Stolas in OZZIE'S and his words about Stolas to Fizzarolli in OOPS as arguments for why Blitzø "clearly" doesn't love Stolas back, but my question is, do some of y'all not have basic media literacy?

Sorry if that’s rude, but seriously. There are plenty of clues to how Blitzø is actually feeling during and after these scenes.

1. Blitzø was literally holding back TEARS as he said that in the van scene.

2. He says that Stolas has made it very clear that all it is is Stolas wanting to be fucked. That wording is very distinct and, honestly, says that Blitzø does NOT want it to just be a Fuck Buddies things.

2.5. May I remind everyone that Stolas literally calls Blitzø his "Impish little plaything" in Truth Seekers? And that that likely just confirmed the insecurities we know he was already feeling? (We know he was feeling insecure about his and Stolas' relationship already because of how he reacted in S1 Ep5 to Striker goading him)

3. Literally ALL of what happens after the van scene. Including all of Episode 8. He goes home and cries himself to sleep, and then goes and self-destructs at a party. Bee said it herself that he wasn't drinking to have fun.

4. In S2 Ep6: OOPS, His face when he said it was nothing more than Stolas being horny gives away how hurt he actually is. He is desperately trying to convince Fizz and remind himself that Stolas doesn't want anything more.

Honorary mention that I'm not sure is really a fifth point is him calling Fizz and Ozzie hypocrites.

Moving on from those scenes and onto Blitzø's insecurities about love and his self-worth issues. Blitzø does not believe he deserves love. He does not believe anyone does or can love him. We can see this in how he acts with the people in his life. He pushes them away. He is obsessed with M&M's relationship because they're the only model of a healthy relationship he's ever had, and he wants that with someone. We also can tell because of how he reacts to what Fizz and Verosika say in OZZIE'S.

Blitzø hates himself. He crosses out his face in the pictures hung up in his apartment. He blames himself for an accident that caused his mother's death, his best friend to lose his limbs, and his sister to hate him.

No one was truly there for him after the accident. Fizz may have been crippled, but he had a support system. Blitzø did not, and no one was there to tell him it wasn't his fault.

Not to mention the fact that up until the accident, he was CONSTANTLY being put down and told Fizzarolli was better than him. Even his own father cared more for Fizz than him. Honestly, I'm surprised there isn't any actual animosity towards Fizz on Blitzø's part.

Speaking of the fire and Fizz, Blitzø was planning to confess romantic feelings to Fizz that night before the accident (We know this because of the letter and flower he was holding before the fire started). That likely made it difficult for him to confess his love to someone because if you think his brain wouldn't connect love confessions to the greatest trauma of his life, you're dead wrong.

Brains make weird ass connections when it comes to trauma/traumatic events.

In conclusion, Blitzø loves Stolas, Stolas loves Blitzø, and they both need to heal and get their shit together. Stolitz forever.

Kloveyoubye ❤️

#haters dni #helluva boss antis dni #Hazbin haters dni #hellaverse #helluva boss #helluvaverse #stolas #blitzø #stolas x blitz #helluva boss blitz #stolas helluva boss #stolitz #rants n rambles #rant post

[neko-loogi]

Heeeyy, I'm back with a new Helluva Boss opinion post thingy

Okay so, the Mammon episode- it was alright I guess? Tbh it didn't strike me as super awesome or anything, it's just kinda there?

Anyway, let's talk about it a little bit!

So I wanted to start off with Mammon himself, I'm gonna be honest I don't hate him but I don't like him either. I'll admit I do actually like his voice, I'm sure y'all might find it annoying but I dunno, I like his accent and the way he talks is kinda funny. His design tho? Eh, it could use some work.

For instance, his eyes are weird, like every time he was on screen my first thought was always: "Wow, he looks like Robin from TTG". I also hate how he's shaped like your typical "fat" character from cartoons. But for some reason they decided to give him skinny arms but a round body. He's weirdly disproportionate, which is disappointing because they definitely could make a better plus sized character design. But oh well, knowing Viv, she wouldn't even try.

I will admit his true demon form is kinda cool, except that I actually thought he was going to be a caterpillar or something but he's a spider? I swear, Viv has some weird design choices.

Moving on, the episode was cluttered as hell. It had way too much stuff in it, which made the episode feel eternal. Not only that but the episode has 4 songs.. FOUR FUCKING SONGS- When will Viv realize that not every HB episode needs a song? Like is this shit an animated series or a fucking musical? Make up your mind Viv-

Anyway, I'm glad this episode focuses on Fizz, but his character did feel a bit off in certain scenes, but aside from that everything else was fine. (I found that scene of Fizz talking to the deaf imp child while using sign language to be very endearing).

Alright, I'mma point out a few other things real quick:

Ozzie's relationship with Fizz is absolutely adorable and I love them so much. However I don't understand why they portray their relationship as a bad thing? Like, fucking Queen Bee is dating Vortex (who's a hellhound, and they are a lower class than imps) and nobody says anything and she's a sin- so why can't Ozzie do the same??

I also happen to noticed that Fizz and Mammon's relationship is similar to Angel Dust and Valentino's- I just hope they don't completely butcher my boy Fizz, because he's the ONLY character I genuinely like from this god awful series.

Edit: I find it outrageous that Fizz apologized to Blitzo in the previous episode for the accident and claims that yes, he was affected by it but he's gotten over it. Yet here, he's super insecure about it and seeks approval from Mammon. It doesn't make sense- I swear it's like the characters are evolving backwards (as in the character development just resets and they act like nothing happened).

I also just wanted to say that this character made me feel super uncomfortable throughout the episode (which I guess is the point, but honestly they didn't need to add him.) Like, was it really necessary to include this Reddit mod, Discord user incel with an obsessive personality to the episode? He doesn't really contribute much other than to probably trigger people who have dealt with some form of harassment like this, and to make Fizz look super helpless so that Blitzo can defend him.

Blitzo didn't contribute anything to the episode, they didn't need to add him either. Like we get it he's the main character but that doesn't mean he has to be in every fucking episode doing absolutely nothing other than saying a bunch of curse words or shooting someone.

In conclusion, I didn't like this episode that much. I was expecting more to be completely honest.

Sorry if this post was a little long- I wanted to write more stuff but I don't want to burden y'all with reading a lot of shit lmao. Anyway, that's all, love ya <3

#anti helluva boss #anti vivziepop #helluva boss critique #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism #vivziepop critique #spindlehorse criticism #spindlehorse critical #/// #by neko loogi #do not repost #neko loogi rambles 😬 #neko loogi rants😔

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

im so sorry to send you this but im confused. i thought izzy hands was obviously homophobic while i was watching the show but now people on the internet are telling me that calling him gay and homophobic is a conspiracy theory. i want to trust my instincts on this as a queer myself but they say it so much i think im starting to believe it. i know literally none of this matters but its genuinely bumming me out. maybe we all just have slightly different definitions of homophobia?

I would love to answer this for you. Your instincts are correct. Izzy is gay and homophobic. You should trust your gut on this because it's important for you be able to identify guys like Izzy irl if you're someone who might be on the receiving end of homophobia.

What happened is that back in June of 2022 everyone fully agreed that Izzy was one of those repressed gay men who's internalized homophobia rotted his soul and became externalized. We wanted to put him in a jar. We all interested in how this weird little freak got this way. Then everything changed when the canyon formed. Since then it has been a mad dash to beat the allegations. Unfortunately an actor has validated them in a way that makes me really wonder about him frankly, because he seems to be operating under the impression that people are saying that Izzy is a "homo sex is sin" Style homophobe when nobody was saying that, what we were saying is that Izzy is incredibly weird about and hateful towards feminine men and he believes that Stede is corrupting Ed with his foppishness, which is still homophobia it's just a different brand of homophobia than the religious right's obsession with the mechanics.

Tbh tho I don't actually care about that actors' take because he's not a writer, he has a history of not being very good at reading the subtext given that he fully didn't realize it was a gay show for half the episodes, and David Jenkins has liked multiple metas on twt about Izzy being a homophobe so I'll trust that lol. The only consequence that Con O'Neill being publically wrong has had for me is that people occasionally do an unearned victory lap when he says something.

But also I low key sometimes feel incredibly unsafe knowing that there's a substantial group of people who claim to be queer and against homophobia but who can't understand that the whole subplot with Lucius in episode 5 and the thing with Ed in episode 10 is laced with bigotry against feminine gay men. I don't think admitting that means you have to think it's his only motivation or that it's contradictory to the read of him being attracted to Ed and Lucius or with the concept that he's mostly just power hungry, but it does sort of mean that I have to move through the world knowing that there are people in my own community who would fully blame me if something happened to me. I don't fucking like it. That's why I get so upset about this so publicly. It's like so what happens if I get attacked but the guy calls me a namby pamby or a bitch instead of a faggot. Are you gonna be like "well we don't know~". It's just an uncomfortable thought. I don't understand why they're so desperate to beat the allegations either, like he's fake. People who have experienced things like what Ed and Lucius went through at his hands are real. The argument that gay people can "do something to (someone)'s brain" is written into legislation trying to ban trans people from public life. Nobody wants you to stop liking Izzy we just want you to stop saying shit that's harmful

And I don't necessarily think that everyone who chooses to put more emphasis on Izzys obsession with Ed wouldn't be able to identify a hate crime, I just have seen more than one piece of meta that goes "Izzys not homophobic he just thinks Stede is a mincing fop who's corrupting Ed with his frilly whiles there's nothing homophobic about that" and I just have to block them for being homophobic themselves because what else do I do with that? When I vague post about this shit I'm talking about specific ass things that I've seen that have made me feel very uncomfortable and unsafe not generic canyon trends. I just really feel like we need to calm down about Izzy. Like you can feel empathy towards a gay guy that hates himself and write a bunch of fic about him getting laid without deciding actually he did nothing wrong and everyone who can see that that's not true is making shit up to oppress *checks notes* people who like a fictional character. I don't get why that's so hard to do.

#the izcourse

[victimized-martyr]

Did you ever mention how you got into kyman? Personally speaking, I got into it (again) around 2020 when I rewatched sp, and I basically fell down the rabbit hole. I’ve been into it on and off since then.

I probably did somewhere, but I'll say it again!

I wanted to see what SP was all about so I decided to just watch the most recent episode/special at the time-- post covid. But I realized, it was a story that wasn't forgiving for newcomers, and I had NO idea who was who. I have vivid memories of being weirded out by the redhead guy being upset about the rabbi dude's wife and kids. Then when he said "did you know that he once snuck into my room and gave me fucking aids?!" I GASPED bc one, it was super out of nowhere, super crude, and two, I falsely assumed like, OHHHHH they're gay exes... that explains this weird behavior. I'm sorry what else was my dumb ass supposed to assume! And I watched the rest of the special viewing them in that context hgkd But when I started to properly watch the show from the beginning/ hop between episodes, I felt embarrassed for myself, I was like HOW on earth could I have made that false assumption. I was actually grossed out by the thought of kyman at the start! I knew that Cartman was obsessed with Kyle, and that they did care for each other as friends, but I couldn't fathom Cartman's obsession being anything genuine or Kyle reciprocating. I even made a post abt it on my main as I was watching the show, it might still be in there somewhere lol. I was happy just watching the show as is and I was like, dang! This might be the first thing I get into without shipping anyone! Then, my buddy @shpadoinkle-day texted me what was practically the kyman manifesto and urged me to "wait till seasons 20/21, it'll change everything"

at the same time, an irl buddy watched THAT moment in Manbearpig w/ me for the first time and went "that's... kinda fruity" and I was also like?? yeah?? damn... Then I saw seasons 20/21 and it opened up my eyes. I think it was the only seasons I was so enthralled with to completely binge in one night ghfksd and I. was. floored. Kyle crying over cartman? during a montage of couples breaking up? Kyle being speechless when he saw cartman get a gf? Kyle questioning if he liked heidi, Kyle's stupid ass "we're all going out with Cartman right now", how he inserted himself in the relationship so hard, yet when taking heidi from cartman, talks as if he wasn't doing it for Heidi. His frustration at Heiman was at the very top in list of justification at bombing a country (yes, Kyle says he's upset a girl he liked turned into cartman... but there's layers in that statement, esp. compared to kyle's actions). Kyle memorizing the day they got together, confronting Heidi and asking how Cartman is doing as a boyfriend, what specifically she finds about him that's redeemable (and we all know how Kyle is about finding the good in people), batshit insane things a normal person (like stan) wouldn't ask his friend's girlfriend. And then of course, Kyle dropping all that effort when they break up. Insanity. I realized the obsession was mutual, and rewatching the show in that context completely rerouted my watching experience with the show. It kinda made it funnier for me too lolol. I started picking up on all the evidence I saw shippers point at, and I got what they meant fr. Kyle and Cartman are assholes and poke at each other's insecurities, have hurt each other, yet will not let the other die, Kyle is usually the first one to call for cartman if something happens to him, he saves him when he doesn't deserve it, and Cartman, as stated by Stan, cannot live without him. And it's subtly shown he wouldn't keep kyle just to rag on, bc if that were the case, he would not hesitate to hold it over Kyle's head. Their feelings for each other are very complex, and--if you really pay attention to the show--mutual.

#kyman #this is all a word dump i'm sorry if it doesn't make sense #asks #the weird Thing happening between these two characters is damn chaotic and mutual. I ain't sayin u gotta ship them cos you dont gotta #but to say it's one sided or not there at all is a misread of the show. I'll die on that hill. #Like they're so. fucking weird that it's a reoccurring joke that they get mistaken for a couple. or people easily believe they're together #The shock of them being together is. kinda the joke. as seasons go by #matt and trey love making them fruity or putting them into fruity situations and the sooner u accept 'hey that's gay af' the funnier the #show is i promise y'all #believing kyman is one sided or not there does little for the 'he gave me aids when we were young' joke. if u accept they fruity? bursting #out laughing i guarantee

[akuma-tenshi]

!! VOLUME / GLITCH / FLASH WARNING !!

posted on youtube because tumblr absolutely destroyed the quality

happy birthday to the world's most beautiful man!! i made this edit earlier this month but decided to schedule it for his birthday instead, since it was happening soon anyway lmao. so here's an edit for my favourite frederick skin in story, characterisation, theme, and design!! phantom sail is genuinely such an incredible skin and i love how this turned out; with each edit i make i only get better >:-D

song is culpability and the panopticon by ghost and pals. 'twas promised in the tags for my emil edit and now i deliver <3

several paragraphs of super sappy shit + frederick appreciation under the cut

so back before frederick was released, my best friend @sunset-of-the-void and i had been talking about him. we didn't know much about him, but we liked what we did know: a beautiful, mentally ill musician with family trauma, auditory hallucinations, and perfectionism issues. void was a lot more fond of him than i was, but the more we talked about him, the more i liked him too. i found myself eager to learn more about this upcoming survivor.

so now here we are. a little over a year after his release, and with his inclusion in ashes of memory, his complete lack of new skins until coa7 and voyage of oceanus, and playing him initially just to fulfill one side of a ship (i'll get talking about emilerick in a sec), he's only grown more on me. i've made jokes that frederick is one of only two men who i as a lesbian am attracted to, but in all seriousness, i genuinely adore him as a character. he is truly very well-written and designed and in one short year, he's become a huge comfort for me. he's one of my favourite idv characters to write about, and i'm pretty sure i'm more than a little annoying about him to my idv friends (terribly sorry about that </3).

and yes, maybe part of that comes from void coming up with the brilliant, beautiful ship that is emilerick. making content for what's quickly turned into one of my biggest comfort ships has given me a chance to look even deeper into his character outside of stressful situations. frederick is a fascinating and complex character, and i have greatly enjoyed writing him interacting with emil, who, in my opinion, is just as fascinating and complex as he is. as long as frederick has existed, we have had emilerick, and i wouldn't have it any other way.

on his own, too, frederick is a wonderful character, and i love him dearly. from surface-level traits such as his posh appearance and the music that disrupts the game itself, to what aom introduced with his relation to mary and his proficiency with firearms, to even the smallest details like his chimerism and the family crest on his a-tier accessory, frederick is incredibly well-thought-out and it's clear that a lot of love has gone into his character. as both a fan of the game and a writer, i adore him.

the consistent themes between his skins certainly help, too. i hope they keep it up while also finding new ways to make him fucked up and evil, it's delightful.

i love you, frederick. never stop being your concerning, weird, obsessive self.

#this edit was originally supposed to be for pioneer research #but i was having many phantom sail thoughts #and i just generally like him more #so i went with him instead #not much was lost they're both batshit fucking insane #idv #identity v #frederick kreiburg #idv composer #naib subedar #idv mercenary #idv violetta #idv soul weaver #emily dyer #idv doctor #my edit #idv edit #identity v edit #ghost and pals #pieter tag #flashing lights #flash warning #cw flasing #epilepsy warning #IS THAT ENOUGH WARNING TAGS I'M WORRIED IS THAT OKAY #anyway sorry for getting sappy in the read more. this character is very very precious to me and i love him #i have a lot of thoughts on him and they needed to be shared #idk if i'll do this for anyone else. even if they're just as special to me frederick just occupies that special place in my brain y'know?? #plus he had enough content to make an edit lmao #Youtube

[call-sign-shark]

Hi Shark! I hope you’re doing well🤍

I’ve read the new HYE chapter (sorry again for the essay I wrote in the reblog, btw😅) AND IT WAS AMAZING and I have a question that’s been lingering in my mind for a while regarding Heaven’s relationship with Tommy. I love how it’s developing and evolving chapter by chapter, and I wonder: if Grace had been alive, how would things have been between Tommy and Heaven? Again, they have such an interesting relationship and I wonder how different/similar it would have been with Grace in the picture

Hi Reb, I'm doing well this week I hope you do too. Please don't ever apologies for your comment because I am still recovering from it. It was just so perfect I'm not lying when I tell you that I've been re-reading it a hundreth of times. I can't fucking wait to reply to it properly, but let me thank you again: you made my whole week better for real. I just want to squish you so so bad. 🥺🖤

This is such an amazing question dear, thank you so much!! If Grace was alive i would have been drastically different. While Tommy would still have been hostile to Heaven due to his brother's obsession and her criminal records, I think he would have let her breathe — which he doesn’t do. Now, I am not saying they would have loved each other because Tommy would still be genuinely frustated by her untamable nature and her rebellious attitude but he wouldn't have been such a horrible bastard with her. And for sure he wouldn't have fantasized about owning her either. A lot of his unhealthy attraction to Heaven comes from the pain of losing his own wife and drowning in loneliness despite sleeping around. I think he finds it unfair that Arthur get to have what has been cruelly taken away from him. Besides maddening envy and jealousy, Tommy might also see a little bit of Grace in Heaven in the "mysterious and dangerous blonde coming from nowhere" vibes as well as having falsely convinced himself that Heaven could heal his heart as she did with Arthur. That, and the ego boost it represents to own and tame her.

As a conclusion, with Grace in the picture both their relationship and dynamic would have been different. No visceral hatred, no sexual innuendos/vibes, no envy for Arthur's marriage. Nevertheless, Tommy would still have disliked Heaven because 1. she's a witch 2. she's a murderous bean and 3. she is rebellious and always finds a way to get under his skin. Or maybe I’m wrong and there would still be that weird thing between them, who knows?

This post is related to the ongoing Arthur Shelby x You series Heaven in Your Eyes. Your troublesome romance with the eldest Shelby brother starts now.

#Peaky Blinders #Tommy Shelby #Tommy Shelby x Reader #Arthur Shelby #Heaven in Your Eyes #Heaven Shelby #HYE Squad

[horrorknife]

hi ! sorry if this sounds weird but like

i stumbled upon one of your hoffheight posts and I'm so. genuinely fascinated ?? like, i THINK i understand it (I've certainly put them in a microwave and stared at them for the past few days) but i want to "get it right", if that makes ANY amount of sense. I want to interpret them correctly, I think is a better way to phrase it (it's 2am nothing I say will make more sense and I apologize for that.)

I think in a post you mentioned them being like, reflections of each other or something, which, I didn't realize but shit yeah?? they are aren't they. something about being on hair triggers or whatever. GOD they fascinate me so much I need you to understand how much this dynamic intrigues me. having them both be unstable in their own rights (esp with anger issues and all) it just. I love that ?? it's so fun!! I keep spinning them in my mind !!!

I think you also mentioned them being some flavor of qpr and as someone who's aromantic I. god qpr's my beloved. I really need them to be an evil qpr. that means a lot 2 me. ESPECIALLY if it's not even mentioned, but it definitely is a qpr. in my head Adam would have the potential (still not likely) to know what a qpr is, but he would never label it as that. at least not verbally. I love when there's a silent agreement that two people are definitely not romantic but labelling something as platonic is insincere. they're a secret third option don't worry about it !!!

sorry for dumping this into your inbox, I have a lot of thoughts and assumed it'd be mildly funny if I just left them with you. do with that what you will. I hope you have a nice day and thank you for the food for thought

[bonus ask that's ACTUALLY an ask and not just the ramblings of a mad man, do you have any fic recommendations of the two? for research, of course]

HI!!!! oh my fucking god anon you have no idea how excited and happy this makes me . *little cat running around in circles moment* 

so like. i imagine there’s this cord between them and neither of them understand it. they can both just Smell the sameness on each other, the familiarity of deepset rage and suffering and loneliness. adam’s young and impressionable and hoffman would be able to use him to his advantage. hoffman would love this guy. my characterization of adam post bathroom is lonely, detached, and even angrier than before so he gets into fights for the self destructive nature of the thing and hoffman would LOVE how unhinged he is (we all saw how much hoffman seemed to admire/get obsessed w strahm and that guy is Nuts). they’re the same kind of prey animal! they have the same fear of abandonment!!

something something the way they both die in the same spot, attached to the same pipe, forced to watch as LAWRENCE (OF ALL PEOPLE!!!!) abandons them for dead. adam is desperate for life adam is in a game rigged against him. hoffman fights and fights and gnashes and thrashes against this the entire series and yet he ultimately has no choice but to succumb to it, he dies the same horrific way adam did, alone and abandoned and feeling that same primal prey animal fear. there's something to both of them being lawrence's only (CANONICAL) victims (brad, ryan, and dina are lawrence's vics to me. but that's a different post) there's something to the way that adam dies in the first film and haunts the narrative forever and the person who reprises that role is HOFFMAN of all people. the way that this comes full circle is really really delicious to me

adam's camera is his buffer from the real world, it's how he processes things, he's at his best when he's unnoticed and free to Watch. guys we're not doing enough with the voyeur thing. guys. adam catalogs information adam loves holding secret knowledge. in a similar way, hoffman is holding a knife between himself and the real world, he's processing everything through a layer of violence before all else because he can't risk human connection anymore. all of his relationships are made through violence and this is of course present here as well because you adam's deepest connections are also facilitated through violence. you can argue that this is true of all saw characters and you'd be right but there's something so specially flavored about it when you look at hoffman and adam next to each other.

hoffman needs Direction From Someone Else in order to be an effective cog in the jigsaw machine–after john dies he just falls apart immediately and gets clumsy and makes stupid mistakes bc at the end of it all hoffman has been robbed of a Normal existence and the thing he really wants most is companionship (again, seen in the way he interacts w rigg and strahm–he communicates his ‘affection’ in adversarial ways to keep them hooked + offers them genuine chances at survival but they’re both too clouded and Against Him for it to work. king of misjudging situations) and direction. i think if he even had a LITTLE help he’d be a lot better at being jigsaw

conversely, adam is this poor, broke 25 year old clinking pennies together in his shithole apartment. and he has the same stripping of purpose hoffman does. he doesn’t communicate with his family anymore (for undisclosed reasons but this is one of my personal pinpoints for bi/transmasc adam), effectively abandoned by them, and we know that his one namedropped friend (his “BEST” friend btw) is a piece of shit TO him and ABOUT him. adam gets walked all over and he lives at the universe’s disposal to kick the shit out of. he’s been abandoned or mistreated by everyone significant in his life. hoffman is a well off and well respected cop with a whole department of people who highly respect him but he’s empty inside bc he’s incapable of having any meaningful relationships the moment he gets involved with john. he has to fully wall himself off again because it’s too risky to get close to other people. imagine your only worldly thread of understanding from another person ends up being the serial killer you’re chasing/impersonating. and he hates you.

adam’s a genuinely understanding and kind person under his defensiveness, we all know this, we’ve all seen saw 2004. he’d be kind to hoffman and hoffman would see stars. he forgot people were capable of treating him like a normal person. having hoffman warm up to you is the equivalent of having a crochety old man who hates everyone share apple slices with you. you’re a little nervous about it, you’re a little on edge, but he’s just cutting out his apple slices and handing you one every so often. a test of trust. maybe you’re uncomfortable but you’ll take his offering to be polite. you’ll enjoy his company, you’ll share that apple with him, you’ll forge a new bond with that person. this is the type of companionship im kind of getting at. 

um but yeah . rambling aside. back on track. unspoken/unaware qpr hoffheight is THE THING to me. yes we love each other yes we’d kill for each other no we’re not in love. we have a secret third thing and it’s called I Have To Keep This Guy Safe Right Fucking Now Because He Matters To Me More Than I Can Understand. OH mid paragraph im remembering something important. this absolutely all takes place within a sphere of hoffman and adam’s relationship starting with hoffman making adam his apprentice. i feel like that might have been obvious up there ^ but i want to be very clear w my intentions and my vision. KJDFSJKDF. ALSO oh my god . fuckkkkk fuck  fuck fml i think hoffman thinks 2 himself that angelina would probably have liked adam and that definitely endears him to the guy. 

like you said yeah i think adam has the Potential to know what a qpr is (but i dont think he does know)!! if anything he would ultimately just recognize it as an inherently special and inherently queer relationship…auuuu………i know i didnt get too into the evil parts of them too much here but thats cuz it would make me end up writing a 6k essay on them or something. just know that they do butt heads a lot because at the end of the day theyre from completely different universes and adam is an ODD/BPD king.

god . i could really just go on and on and on and on about them. i have so much more to say LOL but this is already a bit of a wordy response >__< i just have such a clear vision of their vibe and dynamic in my mind. it comes to me like sherlock visions. i’m being pelted with big times new roman font things that say shit like “HOFFHEIGHT GAY SEX” “They Are Everything To Each Other In A Codependent Ass Way” 

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK BY THE WAY I UM. GOT SO FUCKING EXCITEDD WHEN I READ IT AKJDNJAKLDNVSJKFNFDKGNVDFK. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THESE TWO ARE TO ME . YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW SICK AND FUCKED UP I AM OVER THEM LOLLLLL. asks that made me get up out of bed at 6:30 in the morning because i was too excited and woke up fully 

if u have more questions or u wanna rap abt this more PLEAAAAASE feel free 2 send more asks or reach out via messages i love discussing my evil plots with them. i am literally ALWAYS locked and loaded and ready to talk about hoffheight. anon i unfortunately do not have fic recs because i do not like reading fanfiction. im incredibly particular about characterization and i’m a little bit of a writing snob. i don’t trust them in anyone else’s hands for fic if i’m being honest. i don’t think anyone else’s vision will fully align with mine and i’m too autistic to risk seeing that be done wrong. i’ll get too emotional KJDNKJSNFJ

#hoffheight #tagging cuz why not. tag is dead as hell #anonymous #asks #thank you for giving me a chance to ramble i love getting to infodump

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

No okay bcuz actually I DO want to explain my thoughts from this post here because I love analyzing things and I think talking abt Vox's relationships thru the lens of "this is just like Buffy fr fr" could be fun :)

FIRST OFF: VoxVal as Spike & Drusilla. I do not know their ship name and tbh I'm probably never gonna talk about them again so whooooo cares. To state the obvious, in this situation Vox is Spike and Val is Dru. Now, it's been awhile since I've watched Buffy, but from what I remember, Spike & Drusilla really are THE toxic villain couple, in that they're both like. Not very good to or for eachother, all things considered, but goddamnit they love eachother SO MUCH- which really is the generous interpretation of Staticmoth. I'm not gonna go super in depth into the fucking. Is Staticmoth abusive debate rn. Because I have one million other posts that make my stance on that pretty clear I think. But the uh... nicer interpretation of their relationship is very much Spike & Drusilla I think. Like right down to the headcannon of Vox liking how Val's shit eyesight & temper tantrums makes him kind of dependent on him. Again, could be misremembering, but based off of how Spike was w/ Dru while she was weakened(and based off of how he rebounded w/ Harmony of all people 💀), I get the distinct vibe that, despite his frustrations, Spike did like having somebody relying on him the way Dru(and later Harmony) did. Vox def seems like the type of guy that would get a kick out of feeling Needed and Relied On(why else would he literally route the entire Pride rings power grid through himself-), and Valentino is. Well. Valentino. I'm not gonna go over their interaction before Stayed Gone because it makes me ~genuinely uncomfortable~ for reasons I have, once again, gone into in depth before, but suffice it to say that it's definitely in character for Vox to be into Val relying on him like that. Oh also, like somebody pointed out in the reblogs on the original post, the reason Spike & Dru broke up from s3 all the way to their reunion in s5 is that she cheated on him and that's. Yeah that sounds about right.

And second, the Staticradio twins: Spuffy and Spangel. Why the fuck did I call them the Staticradio twins? I don't know I'm tired as shit and just used most of my brain power on the VoxVal segment now get off my back- anyways, these two are actually pretty easy to explain so I'll just get right into it! Most of the similarities between Staticradio and Spuffy can really be summed up in the song Reat In Peace from Buffy's musical episode. One-sided, obsessive crush on someone who you know deep down will probably never reciprocate. You want them to just leave you the fuck alone and stay gone(hahahahahahahahah), but they just. Aren't. Like even the bits about being a dead guy without a heart beat are spot on because Vox is a motherfuckin DEMON who is a ROBOT!!!!!!! Also the Alastor Body Pillow fanon(which IS fanon. It is. I'm sorry to say but that wasn't a thing on the Instagrams y'all-) does line up with the uh. The Buffy sex bot- it does line up with the Buffy sex bot. Anyways moving on to the Spangel section-

"You were my sire man!" - Spike, to Angel, in his introduction episode. I don't remember if this was retconned in season 5(or 6?) to be Dru siring Spike? It might've been. But for the sake of this post lets pretend it wasn't. Angel was basically Spike's mentor for a lot of their time together pre-show. They ran around in their weird little vampire polycule causing problems for everyone and life was good! Then Angel got cursed. Bro got a soul and then ran away for years without a word to anyone. Then, cut to current day, and Spike is hyped to see him right up to the point he realizes Angel has Changed. And from that point onward to two are RIVALS!!!!! Narrative foils, even. And while it isn't exactly the same as Alastor and Vox's history, it's pretty damn similar right!? Al was(presumably) Vox's friend and mentor for YEARS, like to the point of being comfortable taking a picture with him. Then something happens between them, causing a rivalry to form. Throw somewhere in the mix Al's deal & him fucking off for 7 years... it's like the same pieces being put together in a new way to make a different puzzle. Is Rosie Darla in this analogy? Unclear. Val is still Dru though. Do y'all get where I'm coming from? It's far, FAR from the same thing, like there are so many fucking differences and that's just going off of the stuff we DO know(I want to know more god I can't wait for season 2-), but the dynamics ARE similar. They're narrative foils with a deep history w/ eachother where they were probably-definitely friends, something caused them to become RIVALS, and also one of them is cursed and dissappeared for several years-

Whoo boy this got kinda incoherent- Anyways, that brings me to my brand new fun and interesting point: Vox and Spike are kinda similar characters. They're both antagonists who wanna be Big Tough Scary guys so bad, and like. They are. They are big tough AND scary. Sometimes. But for the vast majority of their screen time, their emotions, capacity for love(no matter how twisted their version of love is), and the consequences of that love going wrong continually get the better of them and cause them to look to us, the audience, like silly pathetic wet cats we found on the side of the road. Then they get Weird about it(Vox's "rivalry" w/ Angel and the. Buffy sex bot.) and we remember oh yeah this guy is EVIL! They also both wear long jackets and are bisexual :)

#none of Spike's relationships map onto Staticdoll particularly well because Staticdoll is too healthy for that shit lmfao #hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin valentino #hazbin alastor #staticmoth #voxval #staticradio #radiostatic #voxal #staticlovetune #why are there so many ship names for vox and al- #buffy the vampire slayer #btvs spike #spike btvs #btvs drusilla #buffy summers #btvs angel #once again. do not know Spike & Dru's ship name #spuffy #spangel #late night ramblings #gal overanalyzes random shit

[hey-itsjade]

UHM. sorry another post. can we also just talk about. Oppenheimer. I KNOW I KNOW EVERYONE'S BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT ALREADY AND I'M LATE TO THE PARTY. but hear me out ok. i needed to mentally prepare myself for the pain AND the smartness lmao. I'm dumb guys, i needed to fully understand the movie. NOW SPOILER ALERT FOR ANYONE WHO HADN'T SEEN IT TOO. (yet)

Yes it's absolute genius but it feels weird to call reality “genius”. What I want to say is just that i think everyone should watch this movie. It reveals a lot of stuff about atomic bomb, the why and the how behind it (obviously) but a lot of other things too. it talks about morals, guilt, the complexity of literally creating an atomic bomb that could cause worldwide destruction (in Oppenheimer's view) and agreeing to it being dropped in Japan's cities but not wanting it to be used then. because it's quite literally. DESTRUCTION. that morality of Oppenheimer was questioned so much throughout. Guy developed severe PTSD - i could just see it. Flashbacks. THE EXTREME NOISE AND THE TICK-TICK SOUND MY GOD. “President, i still feel the blood on my hands” - my God that line made me shed a few tears. ofc it was going to. i honestly didn't know how Oppenheimer would react after the bombing but on noticing his expressions, body language and just the complexity it was weighing on his mind i could clearly see it all. When he admitted to it i was just like “ofc you're gonna feel it you mf”.

I can totally understand people not watching this for their own mental health but i genuinely think people should see this creation. cause like. it's reality, it's history. i knew about the atomic bombing but literally never knew about the man behind it. (or men) idk how to explain it i just really think people should read about it, just know about it just like Einstein's theory of relativity. because that was something that Einstein really proposed irl. do y'all understand what I'm trying to say through this nonsense? I'm blabbering but yeah I can't express it.

lastly, the ending broke me when i understood it. Oppenheimer's sentence, roughly; “albert, i think we have destroyed the world with it, after all” and then his vision of the earth being swallowed whole by never-ending fire. AND THIS WAS BEFORE THE REAL EVENT HAPPENED. My God. The significance. also to think that Lewis Strauss really thought Oppenheimer's and Einstein's convo was about him. Lol. Not everything is about you, self-obsessed asshole! misunderstandings could really make a man act. hatred. that's what's happening though isn't it? war is still raging on (yes I'm talking about the ukraine-russia war, the israel-palestine conflict) . (btw, free palestine. if you're pro-israel pls get off my channel. )

Oppenheimer's vision is pretty much real. We're fucking destroying the world.

#oppenheimer #oppenheimer 2023 #christopher nolan #j. oppenheimer #atomic bomb #oppenheimer spoilers #reality #history #father of the bomb #free palestine

[renaultmograine]

So, in the foundation of the "Westfall-in love" or whatever you're calling katrina/nathanos. (Dragonblight?) Does she end up developing feelings for Anduin, given his affinity for attachments to black dragons...

Do we have minor appearances? Jaina? Vanessa? How are they coping with/not helping?

Dragonblight is hilarious I'm calling it that now.

I mean it depends on what the feelings are IMO? I don't think romantic ones necessarily (mostly because I'm not even sure if she had romantic feelings towards Varian?). I've debated Onyxia/Anduin in a different context and I think it suffers from my same inability to ship Wranduin, which is I don't actually think Anduin could tolerate them at length. The dynamic makes for nice and crunchy character interactions and I really do enjoy those, but I can't ship it.

I do really like fucked up parent/child adjacent relationships that despite their ups and downs, end up rather amicable (I think the Lightbringer series did that?), and they'd have such a weird one. Anduin who is viciously honest and unrepentant in his beliefs for peace and goodness but also isn't above doing underhanded shit for said beliefs would be infuriating with glimmers of "you're not so bad kid." They of course both hate this too.

In terms of other characters

This is, in my mind, taking place in lieu of the Gathering shit, and Jaina is AWOL at this point, and depending how fast the wedding shit takes place misses it entirely (this would be HILARIOUS news to break to her when she gets back from her therapy boating trip btw. I'd be jealous of whoever got the honor.)

I don't imagine Vanessa would have any part of this (I'm guessing this was brought up because of my 'Vanessa is a black dragon' post and the image of that being true in tandem with a living Onyxia is a hilarious one but it's a digression too far rn. I need to live in the space a bit to consider that and I'm doing broad strokes right now).

All the Horde leaders are expecting this to be a shitshow. I'm split between they're getting a sense of schadenfreude (as iirc none of them really like Nathanos) but there's a looming sense of immense danger with it, or them genuinely feeling sorry for Nathanos because Sylvanas just dumped (this on) him.

Lor'themar and Halduron are betting on how long before this explodes because they KNOW how Sylvanas is about Nathanos. (Halduron is convinced it'll be fine because he doesn't believe she's capable of feeling love, Lor'themar points out how you don't need to feel love to feel every other emotion involved with seeing a guy you obsessed over marry another woman.)

Baine was cautiously optimistic about this until he heard it was Nathanos and Katrana getting married.

No one on the Alliance knows what exactly to think about with this. I don't think anyone really likes Katrana but also no one likes the thought of a black dragon being close with the Horde either so it's kind of an impasse.

Genn and Katrana are at least having fun shit talking all of this in the wedding prep because if there's one thing old people like doing its complain.

fucking. CALIA. oh my god.

Calia who is talking to Anduin about how horrible her father was for arranging her marriage to a Lord Prestor and Anduin who is just going :V because he just arranged someone's marriage to a Prestor.

Anduin who is like "am i bad person for this?" as if Nathanos isn't like a fifty year old man who (theoretically) could've said no to this and not a teenage girl with no choice in the matter.

could you imagine. the wedding rehearsal. genn who is this close to making a scene vs sylvanas seeing him and turning to go "should i make a scene." its unfortunately lor'themar next to her and he's a good voice of reason.

TYRANDE WITH THE STEEL CHAIR AGAINST THALYSSRA COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED OH NO

#Sorry i still find it so funny they shoe-horned tyrande into being racist against highborne 2.0 #id do more but im tired! #ask #verillia #dragonblight

[carphoegras]

I don’t ship most of these myself , but your rant/ramble posts on Les Mis ships are funny so I genuinely wanted your opinion on these 👁

1. Enjoltaire

2. Valvert

3. Enjonine

4. Marisette (or whatever Marius x Cosette was called)

5. Javonine (Javert and…Eponine 😭)

6. Marionine (A name a just guessed for Marius x Eponine because I wasn’t bothered to look it up)

7. and uhhh.. Granjonine (I think that was the name)

well hello darling! i live to entertain lol lets get into it i might have to put this under a cut because i think its obvious i have a rambling issue

Enjoltaire : a classic for good reason. they seemed really base level to me at first because i watched the movie first, but once i read the brick and really saw their dynamic i fell for them HARD. for me the beauty of this pairing is really rooted in the substance of their individual characters as opposed to like a romantic relationship. idk its so difficult for me to verbalize why i love them so much i think i just love the idea of finding common ground despite difficulties. enjolras and grantaire mirror each other in such a beautiful way that i feel the musical/movie couldn't really capture without demoting it to a puppy love grantaire/mean enjolras dynamic idk i have such an issue with some portrayals of them because i feel like they create a victim/abuser situation where there wasn't one but that's like a whole post within itself anyway i feel like im getting incoherent i love exr with every fiber of my fucking being just read the brick if you don't get it ok the movie and musical just dont do it justice and for the love of god avoid the fics written in 2012/2013 after the movie hype its all wRONGGGG (i love you george blagden but you created a twink grantaire movement) (they pull each others pigtails okay its a mutual obsession) (enjolras why don't you just ignore him baby? glutton for punishment my dear we all know if you hated him you wouldn't let him hang around) (anyway) i should make a seperate post about my exr feelings bc i could talk ab them for hours

2. Valvert: okay this is where i feel like i can be unpopular with the fandom. i fucking hate this ship. like physically, spiritually, all that. its one of those that i kinda lose respect for the person bc its literally a cop/prisoner thing. its not enemies to lovers. its not a hate love thing. javert's a fucking cop. valjean is his victim. the whole idea of people romanticizing this makes me feel so insanely icky and i think the point of the story has just gone RIGHT over some folks' heads please take a step back and think about it. neolib behavior sorry not sorry

3. Enjonine: enjolras is gay. just like, straight up in the brick enjolras is a gay man. this ship is spawned from straight girls who saw aaron tveit and use eponine as their not like other girls posterchild. just a whole bunch of hetero nonsense. same behavior as the joseph quinn enj x reader bs. honey thats a homosexual man and can we please stop reducing eponine to needing a boyfriend she needs a stable home and a goddamn therapist fucking hell

4. Marisette: okay. i LOVE THEM. i'm a cosette stan myself, and i'm a huge fan of a gooey love at first sight situation. they contrast my love for exr in the sense that they're a very easy love. their parts in the book literally make me SWOOOOOON i can put aside my beef with marius as a combeferre kin to appreciate how sweet they are

5. Javonine??: im sorry wh aht. did the snape x hermione shippers leak into the lm fandom or am i being fucking punked im not discussing this its obvious why this is wrong please tell me its obvious y'all are NASTY

6. Marionine: eh. eh. i mean, like i said with enjonine eponine's problems are not gonna be solved with a dude. i'm really not opposed to them, persay, its just that eponine's love for marius is so incredibly dependent and rooted more in her personal trauma than actual love, so i feel a little weird with them sometimes. sometimes it just gives anti cosette vibes (cough cough bc of the bullshit love triangle angle that the musical markets cough cough) so i tread very carefully with them

7. Granjonine: again what in the damn hell. i'm not dignifying this shit they could be besties but for the love of god george blagden did a number on the straight girls. STOP PROJECTING ONTO EPONINE IM GONNA LOSE MY FUCKING MIND LEAVE HER ALONE

thanks for the ask lovely, i do love rambling even though these ships are baffling lmaoooo

#les miserables #les mis

[eastgaysian]

hi I'm a casual gomens show enjoyer and pro-sharing the kiss image which was shared on an official show promo account lmao. it's so funny for people to be like "don't share it!! Neil is mad!!! he's sooo upset people worked so hard on this show how dare you share a gay baiting promo image the promo team shared themselves!!" like even if you're Neil and mad for any valid reason about this being public now (which. there's no reason that isn't a Bad Look for him to be mad about this anyway lmao) you should just be having beef with your marketing team? like what happened to the whole once you post something on the internet it's immortal. mr gaiman learn some basic internet safety. don't post hole don't post gaybaiting kiss if you don't want it to haunt you forever. take the L and stop being weird to your fans about a still from the show that Shouldn't Be A Problem unless the context for it in the show is shitty. this whole situation is SO funny. I saw someone on twitter posting "oh I saw Neil say he's furious about this and I feel so bad for sharing it :(" like. good gd you aren't his marketing team this is in all possible ways not even your business

it's such a fascinating and funny phenomenon to me because it could only happen with good omens and amanda palmer's ex-husband. i don't know how much creative control neil gaiman has over amazon's good omens adaptation, and it's entirely probable he doesn't have input on the marketing, but getting so wildly butthurt about it to demand fans don't share or discuss the two frames posted in promotional material by an official account is embarrassing on so many levels. they used material from the show to promote it and it generated interest? oh my god what a tragedy

the fact that people are genuinely defensive about it/him is also morbidly fascinating. it's not just that people have a bizarre parasocial attachment to neil gaiman, it's that neil gaiman has intentionally cultivated this bizarre parasocial attachment by the way he uses social media and interacts with fans as if he is their friend. he is not your friend, he is an author continuing to profit off of the work you're obsessed with because he dangled Men Kissing above your head, who gives a fuck about how he feels. he's been demanding brownie points for 'groundbreaking queer representation' or whatever for years by daring to have two men sorry, non-human nonbinary creatures who are never acknowledged or meaningfully treated as such in the text, be friends sorry, queerplatonic partners or whatever the fuck, instead of filthy homosexual degenerates who fuck raw. anyway no matter what he comes out of this situation looking like a hypocrite and i think it's fucking hilarious

#mingbox

[skullfacedog]

I accidentally stumbled upon a text document of my old journal thread from a therian forum from when I was a teen and now I'm going thru it bc I'm really curious of the signs I had headmates or repressed memories back then

-so far, I've described myself as "being able to switch personalities easily" and wondering if I was half demon or had a demon headmate all along that I didn't know about because I had multiple sides of me that felt very contradictory. I am hellhoundkin but I feel like a lot of the demonic feels I had as a teen have worn off a lot, especially since my mental health has gotten better.

it's crazy reading these old posts bc I'm like a totally different person now lmao. I rlly said "I have violent urges and it's hard to hold back from hurting ppl just to hear them scream" YOU COULDN'T EVEN HURT A FLY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUTTTT

-another thing that's kinda weird is that I was really obsessed with outer space at some point and mentioned that in my journal and mentioned questioning being stardragonkin but now it's like ?? I mean space is cool but it's nowhere near one of my main interests. I'm more of a fantasy person than a scifi person. naturey shit is wayyyy cooler than stars sorry.

-post about feeling sick for no reason like not having a cold or anything and being unable to eat but I thought it was species dysphoria??

-post complaining that I "don't feel like myself lately". depression or headmate??

-previously talked about feeling hellhound shifts that feel different from normal and kind of having a weird change in mindset. then in this post I mention I have a hellhound headmate named xarashi. that's them!!! that's the hellhound I "shifted" into!! also happy bc I fully forgot their name and it's been killing me that I didn't remember their name and just referred to them as "the hellhound headmate I had as a teenager". I wonder if they're still around but I feel like if I ask I would get an answer just bc I asked, does that make sense?? like I'm afraid my brain is making shit up but also, they were 100% a headmate at one point so it's not crazy to think they could still be there somewhere.

-also mentioned eshari who was a little demon girl headmate I had for a short time who was weirdly malicious. I distinctly remember like having a fight or something triggering me really badly with my internet friend and I just started feeling entirely emotionless and dissociatey and responded to my friend in ways I would not normally. and later I realized that was a headmate and tried talking to her. I genuinely thought she was an evil demon or something but I'm pretty sure she was a persecutor?? girl I'm so sorry I was so fucking dumb. anyway the lore goes that xarashi chased off eshari and kind of replaced her.

-not related to the general post idea here ig I'm just giving a live reaction at this point but I got to the point where I posted about meeting my ex abuser irl when we were dating and I said "I've never been that nervous in my life" "he kept hugging and petting me, it made me a bit uncomfortable bc I'm not used to him, but I liked it!" BITCH YOU ARE LYING TO YOURSELF BECAUSE HE LOVEBOMBED YOU AND YOU SO DESPERATELY WANT TO BE LOVED AND FEEL USEFUL YOU WILL CONVINCE YOURSELF YOU'RE OKAY WITH UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS!!! STOP!!!!!!

literally the next post I made was the announcement of our breakup LMAO

also I still wonder if he reminded me of my CSA abuser bc I was literally IMMEDIATELY wildly uncomfortable when I saw him for the first time irl and I've always kinda been uncomfortable around men with his body type, like kinda big and masculine and with facial hair. I could not date someone who looks like that and I swear it has nothing to do with attractiveness like I'm demiro I do not give a fuck if someone isn't the standard of attraction but I can't date someone too big and masculine bc they scare me?? I'm so thankful my partner is the same height as me and skinny and always shaves. I mean he's cute with facial hair at least, not like overly masculine.

-mentioned always having been closed off to my parents, not telling them that I wished I was a dog (in an otherkin way before I found the community online) or that I "didn't want to go to heaven". why was I such a weird ass kid lmao I remember I wanted to go to hell purely so that I could fight the devil myself and bc "heaven seems boring" ?? why did 7 year old me have like a self sacrifice complex or smth idk like I was OBSESSED with the idea of me going thru pain for other ppl even as a very young child. I have nooo clue if that could be SA related but it is certainly Odd

-mentioned being able to do a really good impression of karkat from homestuck (according to my friends) and wanting to cosplay him. I sorta wondered at the time if I had a karkat headmate bc I could like Become him really easily it was weird. and he has like the complete opposite personality of me.

-mentioned dissociation like. many times throughout the entire journal

that's all but I may do similar posts with some other stuff I can find online from my past bc I need to psychoanalyze myself and search for every little sign that something was Wrong that I didn't notice at the time. the internet being forever is a good thing for me rn because I threw out every single physical journal I had which makes me so sad bc I would've lovedddd to read my old cringey journals, not just to search for trauma signs but also for entertainment purposes </3

[aoki553]

i like makoto too but its... interesting, to say the least, that you feel the need to explain away and justify his actions and treatment of his sister instead of just... discussing them or explaining how you think he is mentally and/or how he can make up for his actions... regardless of his theoretical mental illness and trauma, hes STILL responsible for his own actions, and his sister never deserved to be treated that way.

long post ahead sorry about it

eh i'm trying my best to not justify him. i've just been so attached to the character and he means a lot to me so him being disregarded as a creepy siscon just bothers me yk? and i made my own posts and analysis of his mental illness i suspected... i just try to not correct or confront people about it whenver they do talk about him. that scares me lol

the thing is... he can't make up for his actions? he's a comedic relief siscon character that doesn't get any depth nor character development throughout the series. what could he possibly do to redeem himself without us having to write fanfiction about it? yes, i like to imagine him being a better brother, getting help for his disorder and issues. but that's just my interpretation of a flawed and underwritten character. and a lot of it is influenced by makokuu. but canon doesn't help much here.

he's not great, but he would've had more redeeming qualities if he wasn't a one joke character. i can't really do much about it but make up my own scenarios and stories on how he could be a good brother while acknowledging he's not a great person.

kokomi doesn't deserve to be stalked and makoto being so jealous and protective of her in his disturbed ways. i agree. but some people make him out to be some sort of sexual abuser in this scenario, which he isnt. we see domestic teruhashi siblings only what 3 times? maybe 2 more if we count them going to the movies together and on christmas... id love to see more scenarios of them just being siblings. but no. most of the scenes with him were written to be an exaggerated siscon trope. to be funny...

yes he is responsible for his actions, but he does need help. the help everyone is aware he shouldve gotten long ago before his obsession morphed his perception of whats acceptable for him to do to someone he loves and cares about. but what can we do about it when we never get to see him get better?

but at the same time i simply cannot think of him as the fanon "GUYS HE WANTS TO DO DIRTY STUFF TO HER KILL THAT PERVERT" anymore. despite his nonexisting depth, im doing my best to explore his character as much as i can.

😔 yeah, i apologize for rambling or getting defensive whenever someone gives an opinion on that one boy i have an unhealthy attachment to.

i'm likely this way due to being harassed before back when i had to pretend like i only like a purified version of makoto to not have my safety threatened. i take this stuff too personally sometimes and feel genuinely threatened, apologies. a doxxing attempt over an anime boy and opinions can fuck someone up for years yk? :(

i do love this character dearly and i know i'm getting enough weird looks in the fandom for it, its even worse when my autistic ass can't explain themselves properly, my bad..

hope this long rambling session cleared some stuff up, heres a wholesome terusibs moment <3

#ask #i almost cried writing this sorry #i am not good with being confronted but im doing my best #alex rambles #saiki kusuo no ψ nan #saiki kusuo no psi nan #saiki k #makoto teruhashi #teruhashi makoto