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spockandawe · 3 years

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Hi.....if you don't mind me asking, what are your top 10 favorite books? And why? Sorry if you've answered this question before....

This is an interesting question, and a difficult one! Which is why I let it steep for a few days while I was in a bookbinding fugue, haha XD

I’m not sure I’ll be able to answer it, because my level of fondness is highly dependent on how recently I read a book/how many times I’ve reread it, with an optional nostalgia modifier if something made a huge impression in my youth. And when I’m picking favorites, as the number of potential [thing] expands, the more I end up dithering and fretting that I’m forgetting something HUGE as I choose. So rather than a selection of top ten, I’ll just run down through some of my favorites! I’ll split it as five cnovels (recent reads, current genre hyperfixation) and five more conventional english-language novel (realistically, probably more like series, unless a standalone book occurs to me), and I’m not going to rank the conventional novels.

SO. Regular novels first. There’s a heavy recently-read/frequently-reread element going on in here.

The Imperial Radch trilogy, by Ann Leckie. Okay, I am a sucker for a nonhuman protagonist, which is going to pop up in at least two other entries. And I’m also a sucker for themes of what can be perceived about a person externally versus their internal world, and Breq delivers like WHOA. She has SO MUCH going on in her head, and even though we’re in there with her, she still hides lots of her emotions from us. And characters like Seivarden hit me in character development buttons that I’m a sucker for, and the whole idea of consciousness being split across multiple bodies is DELICIOUS to me. Also... love me a sentient spaceship. ‘The Ship Who X’ series by Anne McCaffrey isn’t going to make this list, but I also love it a lot. (also, a universe of ‘she’s made me realized how STARVED i was for that degree of representation in certain genres that i love a lot, but don’t often see myself in as often as i might like)

The Murderbot series, by Martha Wells. Another nonhuman, sometimes-human-passing protagonist! Another one processing MASSIVE trauma of a sort that I, the human reader, have to slow down a lot and try to comprehend from an extremely different life experience! I like that a lot, it really forces me to LINGER on the nature of what a character is feeling. And oh my god, Murderbot’s voice is one of my favorite pov voices of all time. And watching it work (or go hogwild on its own asdfdgd) is absolutely delightful. I love literally everything about this series, except what happened with Miki. Other than that? Flawless.

The Books Of The Raksura, by Martha Wells. Martha Wells is a DELIGHT, y’all. Also! Another heavily-traumatized, nonhuman protagonist! And this time, like... It’s a fantasy world with huge amounts of sentient species, and the protagonist grew up away from his people, who are basically a bunch of feral homesteaders (LOVE THAT), and is trying to figure out how to reintegrate into their societal structures as an adult. That desperate desire to belong and feeling of discomfort and not-fitting-in, and the connections he makes and the way he DOES find a way to fit... like if u crey every time. Also, as far as we’re shown, it’s a cheerfully bisexual, polyamorous society, and *grabby hands*

Discworld, by Terry Pratchett. God, what do I even say about this series. It was a PARADIGM SHIFT. It’s bitingly funny, and also just plain biting, and full of huge varieties of interesting stories, set in a fascinating world, with a series of protagonists who I love too much for words. Vimes! The witches! Moist!!! They’re all so WONDERFUL. I still haven’t read the last book in the series yet, because then it will be Over Forever, and I can’t deal. This one is heavily nostalgia-tinted, but also, I stand by it.

The Belgariad/Mallorean, by David Eddings. Okay. Also very nostalgia, and the choice I can justify the least. But these books CLICKED with me. I’m afraid to reread them, because I’ve been wallowing in queer fiction for so long I’m worried about what the compulsory heterosexuality will feel like, and I know both series are very... episodic, in a way that isn’t necessarily great literature. But I dunno! Feels good, man. It’s high fantasy with a magical system I like, segmented worldbuilding of a sort that isn’t necessarily WELL-MADE, but it’s like... comfortable and easy. And something about the style and the character voices just clicks with me. I have no idea how well these hold up in the present day, but I do love them, and I’ve been planning to reread at least The Redemption Of Althalus by the same author as a standalone before I commit to a 12-book rereading of this universe, but.... I like em XD

Cnovels! I think I can rank these, so let’s go for it.

Fifth favorite: The Disabled Tyrant’s Pet Palm Fish :B Look, it’s ridiculous. It’s a transmigration story where the lead enters this fictional universe in the body of a fish, where he is adopted by a prince who eventually falls in love with him, and YES IT IS TAGGED MPREG, BUT HOLD ON A MOMENT-- I don’t know! I came here to point and laugh, but I’m honestly having such a good time right now. It’s really cute! And sweet! The main character is delightful, and the love interest is that particular flavor of semi-socialized upper-class young man, where like, can he do court politics? yes. can he politely express his affections for the main character? uh....... less so. It’s a really fun read, and I felt very sincere emotions about this prince who is passionately, deeply in love with his pet fish!

Fourth favorite: Mmmmmm, Mo Dao Zu Shi, I think. I struggle here, because it is NOT an easy book to read or show to watch, but having consumed the story, I love it to PIECES. I know a big draw for me is the protagonist, specifically, and his relationships to the people around him. And the more I cared about him, the more I wound up caring about the people around him, who I’d kind of neglected before, if that makes sense? It’s a story that really rewards some good old pondering. I didn’t care that much about Lan Xichen, but then I started thinking about how Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji relate to Lan Xichen, and then oh no, I care SO MUCH about his emotions, and now I’m thinking more deeply about how Lan Xichen relates to Jin Guangyao and Nie Mingjue-- It does lose points in this ranking because it IS hard to get into, and I would struggle to keep everyone straight even more if I didn’t have the show visuals to lean on, but it is still story I enjoyed VERY much.

Third favorite: Erha, but I feel REALLY, REALLY BAD that I can’t fit Yuwu on this list too, and I just want to loop them together. It’s time travel fixit fic, but it’s the book! Yes????? I love this. I love the striking character growth we get to see, and the changing perception of the world as the main character relives through events he already experienced and sees things in a new light, and I adore how Mo Ran’s growing guilt goes hand in hand with his growing love. And Meatbun in general... like, my god. I haven’t read another author who’s able to yank me through emotional whiplash so hard and fast. She makes me hoot with laughter one moment and then burst into tears the next. It’s absolutely wild. I love mxtx, and I think svsss/tgcf are gentler entry points into the genre and deal with lighter themes, but meatbun is seriously an UNBELIEVABLE writer if you can deal with the darker topics she covers.

Second favorite: The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System :V Look, I love it. I just love it. I love, again, characters dealing with the aftereffects of old trauma, plus I do also love seeing NEW trauma piled on top of it. I love having a main character with emotional dysregulation issues who doesn’t necessarily make good decisions, but doesn’t just leave me thinking ‘jfc what an asshole’, and I think that’s a really hard balance for an author to strike, especially without us getting direct pov. I love themes of being wanted and insecurity about being wanted, which is Luo Binghe’s major, major damage. And this is my first transmigration story I ever read, and the contrast between a main character who read the novel telling us about what’s totally going to happen versus the ground shifting under his feet is INCREDIBLY delightful to me. I’ve read other transmigration stories I enjoyed, but none that got my attention quite as much as this one.

First favorite: Tian Guan Ci Fu ;u; It’s so good. It’s so well-made! It’s so LONG, and it meanders, but also, I would scream if anyone tried to trim anything out of it. I am here a lot for the ship, honestly, but I also find the plot themes VERY interesting. I am very much here for reading about characters trying to process old trauma that’s been dredged up by new events, and also very here for the themes about how characters either pass their traumas along to the next generation, or try to shield the next generation from taking the same kind of damage (see: mdzs). And I’m also very much into tempering stories about pain with like... memories of kindness, and small acts of kindness repaid with an outpouring of devotion (see: svsss). But the craftsmanship in this book is just... DIVINE. I’m always reluctant to start rereading this one, because I have a terrible time stopping. There’s nothing about this book that I don’t like.

#spock replies #long post/#thanad-zid

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spockandawe · 4 years

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It’s time for the weekly training that I already know, but they want us to participate so okay, I guess, but that means it’s ALSO time to listen with one ear while I yell about another gay webnovel.

So, okay. I yelled a bit about Yuwu (or Yu Wu) before, but when I started reading it this summer, there were only 30-something chapters translated, and as of last night, I think it’s up to eighty (the current translator is working like a beast, and i’m honestly in awe). Yuwu is by meatbun, the author of erha, and is technically set in the same universe, just significantly removed in time. This doesn’t have too-too much bearing on things (Mo XI and Mo Ran are not related), and you run into concepts like the ‘butterfly bone beauty feast’ in both novels.

And as a meatbun story, this book has hilarious highs and horrifyingly dark lows, and I love every minute of it. I’ll try to bold relevant warnings as I go!

The story stars Mo Xi, a cold, upright, proper nobleman, and one of the foremost generals in the kingdom of Chonghua. Years ago, he fought alongside another general, Gu Mang, until Gu Mang turned traitor, stabbed Mo Xi right over the heart (symbolism!), and defected to the enemy kingdom of Liao. As the story opens, Mo Xi has just received word that Liao... is giving Gu Mang back.

Yeah, the story doesn’t beat around the bush for long, they were absolutely 100% banging. They were having a long, passionate, extended love affair until Gu Mang turned traitor, and Mo Xi is still absolutely not over it. I’m no longer positive in what order the information is revealed, but Gu Mang was a slave, and the first slave in Chonghua to be freed and promoted to the rank of general. Does this have anything to do with his later decision to turn on the country? Mayyyyybe! But back in the day, even as a slave, he met Mo Xi, at that time, a child of a disgraced noble family, and as his shixiong, took it on himself to protect and care forthis sad, lonely little shidi. The latest chapters have been revealing the moment this transitioned from a platonic relationship into a distinctly not-platonic one, but there was really, really a lot of genuine love, admiration, and respect between the two of them.

But, back to the present! Mo Xi gets word that this notorious traitor is being extradited to Chonghua, but he’s out in the field with the army. Gu Mang is being sent to the capital. He can’t do anything about this right now except stew in private, unhappy emotions.

Smash cut to two years later, and Mo Xi’s return to the capital. Finally, he can find out what Gu Mang’s been up to. Prison? Probably? HA, no, this is meatbun, and meatbun goes harder than that. Content warning: sexual slavery, because apparently it’s standard policy in Chonghua for traitors to be placed in a brothel specifically for purposes of clients taking out their anger on them or humiliating them in whatever way they so desire. For bonus D: points, the brothel is owned by the same nobleman who used to own Gu Mang. Things are not completely dire for Gu Mang, for reasons I’m not going to try to describe here, but when Mo Xi finally can’t stand not knowing, and goes to see him, Gu Mang is... not the same shining, bright, clever man he once knew.

Yeah, so his mind and sense of self are literally fractured. I’m not too-too familiar with the philosophical(?) concepts driving this, but it’s similar to how Mo Ran had to collect all of Chu Wanning’s souls when he almost died. Gu Mang is missing a number of souls, and he doesn’t remember who he is, he doesn’t remember his history, he’s even lost most of his vocabulary. When Mo Xi finds him, he struggles with basic communication. The story hasn’t explained what happened yet, or what can be done to fix it, but the Guoshi of Liao Kingdom is sketchy as hell, and this sure feels like something that was done to Gu Mang.

So, relatively early on, Mo Xi extracts Gu Mang from the brothel and brings him back to his estate. This isn’t necessarily a happy development, because Mo Xi is still incredibly angry and incredibly betrayed, but now, it isn’t even like he can ask for an explanation or find closure. Gu Mang is... slowly recovering bits and pieces of his memories, but this isn’t necessarily a happy development either, because the emperor has said that he’s going to pursue content warning: sketchy human experimentation/torture. He said this outright to Mo Xi, and Mo Xi goes ahead and communicates it to Gu Mang, and honestly, the whole outlook is so focking bleak, but for some reason, Meatbun balances incredibly dire situations with just enough optimistic flavor that I never quite lose hope.

I’m not going to try to describe the supporting characters, because their storylines are just starting to blossom, and I feel like I’d cause more confusion than I’d resolve. But honestly, I’m having a delightful time right now, and I’m getting probablyyyy two chapters with every three days, and it’s been SO tasty.

The tragedy of the old relationship was really tasty to begin with, but the additional class-related tragedy that fuels it? Honestly, that’s not usually my cup of tea, but this story leans into the difficulties of a relationship between a noble and a slave, even once the slave is free, even once they both become generals, and it all hurts so good. And we still haven’t gotten a full accounting of all the ways Gu Mang suffered, but we’ve gotten so much, and he’s such a sweet boy, and it hurts in all the best ways. It hurts to see the way Mo Xi is hurting, and then it hurts to see the way Mo Xi treats Gu Mang.

But then, in terms of the characters themselves, it hurts Mo Xi to realize Gu Mang is coming back to Chonghua, and to know that Gu it hurts Mo Xi more when he learns about everything Gu Mang has been through, and it hurts him when Gu Mang can’t remember the history that is still so, so, so important to Mo Xi, but then!!! It hurts him even more when Gu Mang does start to remember! This is all the angst I could ever ask for, and it’s set up so that no matter how someone breathes, it’s virtually guaranteed to hurt Mo Xi.

And I would Die for Gu Mang, honestly. We only get to see bits and pieces of him in his prime, before everything went to hell, but he is really truly the best of boys, and he has so much suffering ahead of him. I have no idea how quickly the story is going to explain what exactly led to the specific decisions he made (we’ve seen enough to understand why he would make a decision, but not this decision), and still know almost nothing about what happened to him while he was in Liao, or how possible it is for him to recover what he’s lost, and I’m honestly so invested. This is probably a little more incoherent than most of these rambles that I’ve done, but this is a surprisingly difficult story to describe, haha. It’s a very tragic experience, but especially if you’ve read and enjoyed erha, it’s one that I highly, HIGHLY recommend

#yuwu #long post/#i'm so worried but so invested #i just want them to be happyyyyyyy #also i want my two terrible sons and my two good sons to be happy #murong lian and murong chuyi and yue chenqing and jiang yexue #two not-good boys and two very good boys

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spockandawe · 4 years

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rules: tag nine people you want to get to know better or catch up with, then answer these questions. I was tagged in by @veliseraptor, and have been pulled hither and yon by social and sleep and other social since then, but now I’m finally curled up alone with a nice cozy energy drink, SO!

Three ships: oh man, let me think. Right now, this is going to be all mxtx, so let’s try to pick one per book? In svsss, I die for bingliushen. The bingqiu dynamic is delicious as hell, but I love Liu Qingge so, so, so much, and it hurts me to see him pining for Shen Qingqiu and how completely oblivious Shen Qingqiu is to it (I love that between one and four men are in love with sqq and he has no goddamn idea). It does me good to see someone as clever as Binghe and as good-natured as Shen Qingqiu both cherishing Liu Qingge. In mdzs... my heart wants to say xuexiao, but I have actually been overwhelmed by Jin Guangyao feelings lately, and 3zun has been giving me ALL kinds of emotions. There’s something about how the three of them want to care for each other, and the way their value clashes strain the relationships and then externally imposed tensions pull them apart... that just destroys me. I’m cheering for them so hard, and I know they won’t make it, and it hurts my heart. And then, in tgcf, it HAS to be hualian. I’m up to the Mount Tong’lu arc, where Xie Lian is quietly aching with envy over Hua Cheng’s special someone, and Hua Cheng is still stuck in baby mode and trying not to freak out over not being able to protect Xie Lian, and these BOYS. I LOVE THEM. (they love each other so much and LIKE each other so much and TRUST each other so much--)

Last song: Oooh, I like this song: It’s Crashing Down by Heather Dale. I circle back to this song a lot for fandom feelings, and lately, it’s been Jin Guangyao o’clock, babey.

You must be getting pretty tired of the man who once inspired you Going back on what he asked you to believe All the promises of power from his glittering ivory tower Where's the height that he once told you you'd achieve?

Those other men believe what you and I will never see But I say why believe in place of proof Let those others keep on praying; you know I'm only saying What the others are afraid might be the truth

Well, they say nothing grows 'Til the oak has hit the ground So let's clear the way, my boys And let the giant come crashing down

Last movie: Oooh, movies. It has been.... a while. God, I think it might legitimately be Birds Of Prey? I saw that in theaters literally like two days before the theaters all shut down. NO, WAIT, it’s either Emma or Trolls 2, because my parents rented those digitally this summer. Which came first? I don’t know, time isn’t real, and I’m too lazy to look up release dates

Currently craving: It’s going to be at least until next weekend before I can continue watching The Untamed with my friend, and I’m Sulking. We’re up to episode 30, and I wanted to keep going, but I also staggered home after midnight yesterday, so that wasn’t really a decent option.

Currently reading: God, what am I reading. I’m technically in the middle of By Tooth And Claw and The Raven Tower, but I stalled out SUPER hard on both of them for some reason and haven’t been able to bring myself to start again. I mean, I’m in the middle of TGCF again, and the SVSSS extras, but those don’t quite feel like they count. I’m reading Erha and Yuwu as they update. I’ve got a million fic tabs open that I’m doing very badly at actually reading, but occasionally I manage to chip away at Feynite’s I Wish You Were My Husband (also a reread, but I’m very impatient to get back to Shen Jiu’s reappearance)

I was going to try to tag people, but I think I’ve got a dehydration headache or something, so I’m cutting myself a wee break, I think :P

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