#I usually post stuff under the impression that no one is going to gaf about anything i say but if you do I demand that you be nice to me

[enigmaticdiary]

and so i have been thinking thoughts...

elicited from the new trailer. copy and pasted from my discord cause i do all my thinkin there n_n;;

claudia + louis

when i think back to the book and the movie claudia was obviously an extremely important turning point in louis' life but it never felt like she was... the center of it you know? despite the fact that she was that glue that kept louis tethered to anything human in him.

but the book felt like he was just telling his story to be a. Sad pathetic man thing for the sake of it. cause he had no purpose to exist alone. to exist without claudia or lestat (or armand but their dynamic is. different and dicier) but after claudia is killed something about her presence and the years she spent with louis while alive felt... shrugged off in a way? and its likely because she didn't really have much of an identity outside of him and lestat which is understandable because she was significantly more vulnerable in the book than in the show, so she lacked that autonomy to have that choice to exist outside of them.

and when madeleine was brought into the picture for her to get that autonomy it was unfortunately already too late...

~~[mild separation of thoughts because i left to take a shower]~~

theres a few things i want to mention. just thoughts in my head. claudia dies fighting HARD for her autonomy as a person and a vampire. in comparison to louis who in all honesty has (DEBATABLY) lived without a shred of having his own autonomy. with lestat, lestats love (as claudia very smartly puts it) keeps him in a box. louis is financially dependent on him as a black man in the jim crow era once he loses the azalea, hes cut off from his family, he has NO ONE.

the brief time of just him and claudia is a good moment in time for both of them , trying to discover vampiric history together(tho in the show it looks like before they get to paris its gonna be absolute dogshit in comparison to the book), but in louis' case i feel like its guided by guilt and some form of obligation, because if he didnt go with claudia–who was already set to do this traveling alone before lestat dragged her back–where WOULD he have gone? stayed in new orleans with lestat in the dump just waiting to crawl out? i think he would sooner kill himself if he was left alone like that.

with armand…………… loumand is definitely better than loustat in extremely complex ways that i cant put into words right now but simultaneously even worse because of HOW armand preys on louis. there is absolutely love between them and i wont deny it but armand is so INSANELY dependent on the love of others to give meaning to his existence that he leverages louis' weaknesses and frailities to ensure that they will spend an eternity together. like he was plotting from the second he met louis and claudia. he kills claudia and madeleine, which then makes louis kill all the other vampires of the coven, so that there is no one left, NO ONE for louis to be able to turn to for solace.

i think that him remembering what actually happened to him up until the present is so important to him because he'll finally be able to realize that he hasnt been allowed to properly exist for himself the entire duration of him being a vampire. and maybe he can decide what he wants to do, for himself.

devil's minion... (in the present)

[these thoughts are referring to a tweet that wonders if armand is going to end up alone in the end. note: i am not versed in devil's minion lore. i'm getting there but as of this post i have not reached it]

saw this [the tweet] and audibly exclaimed GOOD

i love armand but the guy is genuinely evil and has wronged every single character hes come across including lestat which i find is hard to do

I know ppl are excited for armandaniel and devils minion but Im not..going to lie ive been REALLY skeptical of it and how it would be explored in the context of the show without severely wronging louis and doing him EXTREMELY dirty.

people are allowed to like it in the bubble of the books but theres a really big shift in dynamic for the show in the fact that ... armand has definitely done... Something to daniel and louis, of what i cant say. but with the way that things are going, an ending in which daniel sides with armand after finding out exactly what armand did to louis and claudia in paris does NOT sit well with me?

and i love loumand but I am so uneasy about the inevitable breakup in regards to whats gonna happen AFTER it. I feel like daniel now is wise enough to not chase after a guy who is diabolically selfish and broken and leave louis behind to live out the vampire fantasy dreams of his youth. and in the trailer too im getting. Loudaniel vibes in terms of reconciling their past with the previous interview. And Heres my theory for Devils minion BUT ITS LOUDANIEL INSTEAD OF ARMANDANIEL (1/689)

#iwtv show #iwtv book #I usually post stuff under the impression that no one is going to gaf about anything i say but if you do I demand that you be nice to me

[thebluelemontree]

So Sandor doesn't care about kings and mighty lords and stuff like that, but is possible that there's some kind of begrudging respect in him for Sansa's powerful family? Ned, Young Wolf, Blackfish and Jon, too (hopefully, they'll meet in the future) - all those guys are awesome and I'd like to think that Sandor agrees with that.

Hey sorry it took so long to get back to you.  I’ve been a bit overwhelmed and it took more time than I thought.  

Respect?  Errrrr, don’t hate me, but… no, not yet if we’re talking about what’s published so far, but we have reason to hope in the future.  The major block to recognizing traits worth respecting in individuals, let alone a whole family, is that deeply ingrained cynicism dancing up to the edge of nihilism.  The world is shit, the system is shit, and people are divided into either butchers or meat.  Most of the time he sounds like a smug, know-it-all teenager that stands on the sidelines pointing out everything that confirms his bias.  Yes, he has some buried idealism wayyyyyyyyy down in there, but it’s not as if they were equally-matched forces duking it out inside him for every word and deed.  It’s a worldview that has served him by making him feel strong and invulnerable.  There’s just no good reason at the start to dredge up those dreams of childhood, which he associates with vulnerability and helplessness.  It’s a security blanket.  Think of how hard it is to change someone’s mind about politics or religion.  The only way that usually happens is if someone has a lived experience that challenges their current beliefs.  Even then it can be a long process of wrestling with the new idea while it competes for brain real estate with the old idea.        

For him to even entertain the idea that someone could actually walk the walk of a real hero, a true knight, or lady, he needs to see what they’re made of with his own eyes.  His goal post is so far down the field, he actually makes it near impossible for anyone to live up to, which only confirms his bias.  Robb and Ned are definitely not the ones who make a dent in that.  Maybe he’ll reflect back on them in future books with fairer assessments, but not in the books so far.  He’s not impressed with a righteous cause or reputation anymore than wealth or titles.  

 Specifics under the cut.  

The WF training yard is his first interaction with Robb.  Not that Sandor respects Joffrey’s boasting and jackass calls for live steel, but he’s not impressed by Robb’s “courage” with this nerf bat training in an adult supervised safe zone either.  He even takes a swing himself, just because Robb is so very easily goaded.

The burned man looked at Robb. “How old are you, boy?”

“Fourteen,” Robb said.  

“I killed a man at twelve. You can be sure it was not with a blunt sword.”

Arya could see Robb bristle. His pride was wounded. He turned on Ser Rodrik. “Let me do it. I can beat him.”   

At this point, Sandor probably thinks Robb and the Starks are just more of the same self-congratulatory nobility that he’s used to.  Maybe not as dysfunctional and ruthless as the Lannisters, but still part of the same system.  Like Sansa, he probably thought Ned was a bit of a naive fool that got in way over his head. He believes what passes for honor and righteousness are just fancy clothes people dress themselves in or it’s a fool’s tin armor.  It would be inevitable that the latter would get themselves eaten alive.  Only people like him that have The Truth™️ figured out survive.  It takes Sansa’s lived example right in front of his face to take a chip out of those ideas.    

She has it in her to be a real deal true lady, despite his first impression that she’s just empty-headed and superficial.  After Ned’s execution and Sansa is forced to look at her father’s tarred head, she’s determined to look without seeing.  She shows enormous strength of will to not give Joffrey one iota of the reaction he desires.  When he taunts her some more, she bites back:  “Maybe my brother will give me your head.”  I won’t glamorize her murder-suicide thoughts, but I think witnessing this scene shows Sandor that innocence, compassion, and vulnerability can go hand in hand with real strength and courage.  Just because awful people hurt her does not mean she is weak.  It just might move that goal post a tiny bit closer in that even a sometimes superficial, imperfect, childish young girl can still conduct herself in such a way.  It’s still a long way from reconciling what he’s just seen with near a whole lifetime of cynicism.  It’s a start though!      

When he smiled, she knew he was mocking her. “Your brother is a traitor too, you know.” He turned Septa Mordane’s head back around. “I remember your brother from Winterfell. My dog called him the lord of the wooden sword. Didn’t you, dog?”

“Did I?” the Hound replied. “I don’t recall.”

Sandor probably did say that back in early AGOT when he didn’t gaf and would crack jokes like that to amuse himself as much as Joffrey; however, it seems as though he’s regretting and distancing himself from that bit of immature ridicule for her sake, not so much Robb’s.  But let’s be real.  He’s not always respectful toward Sansa from this point forward, but he’s staying in the conversation.  He’s still fighting the ideas she’s challenging him with.  It’s only by his actions, not words, that we see him starting to test those waters by making different choices.  He wants to be proven wrong deep down, but he’s going kicking and screaming the whole way.  

The other Stark he’s spent a significant amount of time with is Arya.

“I’m not a boy! But Mycah was. He was a butcher’s boy and you killed him. Jory said you cut him near in half, and he never even had a sword.” She could feel them looking at her now, the women and the children and the men who called themselves the knights of the hollow hill. “Who’s this now?” someone asked.

The Hound answered. “Seven hells. The little sister. The brat who tossed Joff’s pretty sword in the river.” He gave a bark of laughter. “Don’t you know you’re dead?”

“No, you’re dead,” she threw back at him.

Against all odds, Arya is alive.  The little girl that bested Joffrey with a “wooden sword” no less and made a mockery “Lion’s Tooth,” a tale that probably amused him as much as it did Renly.  He’s not meaning “brat” in a truly insulting way here, but that he’s genuinely surprised she’s survived this long and that she must really be tough as nails.  The Wolf Bitch nickname he gives her follows that same line.   And he seems to appreciate it when she’s bluntly honest.  I think he does respect aspects of Arya because he can certainly relate to being an angry, scrappy kid.  This is up to a point, because he’s very annoyed that she is relentless in reminding him about his accountability in Mycah’s death.  Through their journey, he is mostly focused on how helping her serves his needs.          

If this Young Wolf has the wits the gods gave a toad, he’ll make me a lordling and beg me to enter his service. He needs me, though he may not know it yet. Maybe I’ll even kill Gregor for him, he’d like that.“

“He’ll never take you,” she spat back. “Not you.”

“Then I’ll take as much gold as I can carry, laugh in his face, and ride off. If he doesn’t take me, he’d be wise to kill me, but he won’t. Too much his father’s son, from what I hear. Fine with me. Either way I win. And so do you, she-wolf.

Eh, I’m not seeing respect for Robb or Ned here, grudging or otherwise.  Sandor is still not getting it yet, though his intentions are to find a way to get back to KL and rescue Sansa.  All this wishful thinking aside, he wants to look like a big hero, but do so by cynically playing on Robb’s sense of honor as a wedge in the door.  He wants it both ways.  To be a true knight in Sansa’s eyes, while keeping his security blanket right where it is.  

It’s really at his death scene where Sandor confesses to the point of overly taking responsibility and feeling remorse for even the things he didn’t do, that he really connects with his best self.  No more bullshit.  He’s thoroughly stripped down and vulnerable and finally open to someone like the Elder Brother coming along.  If we’re judging by the gravedigger’s humility and quiet, humble service, Sandor has learned quite a bit about respect for others.  Respect for people he would have one considered weak for their pious, peaceful life.  Stranger’s refusal to be turned into a plow horse or be gelded means he’s not meant to remain there nor will he abandon all of his personality.  He will return to the story, but I think directing his anger and biting criticism to individuals that truly deserve it.              

So I do have a lot of hope for the future though, because he does seem like a displaced Northerner and that can’t be for nothing.  I would be neat if he gets to meet some remaining members of Sansa’s family and hopefully they won’t try to kill him on sight.  There’s still the Saltpans matter to clear up.  I lean toward that Sandor will actually become part of this family one day, so I think at that point there’d be some honest to goodness mutual respect, not just grudging.  :)      

#Anonymous #sandor clegane #respect #twow spec #sandor clegane meta #sorry it took so long #I'm getting caught up now