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maramirror11 · 6 months

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Reminiscences of the past

This is my Darling's POV throughout those 3 years they were separated from Makarro. Thank you @haradasaya for being the beta reader!

TW: Slight mentions of eating disorders.

I hope you enjoy it!

Pronouns: They/Them

As I was washing the dishes, I realized that it has been a week since I last saw my husband. The day after the feast, he left to continue his work. Now, the Guardian is locked up and there is no one capable of interfering. Nonetheless, I'm worried.

He hasn't come home nor contacted me at all. I know he can lose himself in his work, but not like this. I know him, he hasn't been taking care of himself.

I have this feeling that something is wrong. So, I'm writing them down to help me understand.

Lately I wonder why I am going along with all of this. It's not like I don't want my throne back, but it feels like he's hiding something from me.

I need to remember when all of this started…

…

It was an awful full moon night. I got the new evidence after my case became cold. Even if it was a trap, we needed to try. My dearest Makarro said we'll reunite at the shipping yard. I ran as fast as I could but someone followed me.

When we got reunited with my dearest, we finally solved our case. My brother Kayble admitted that he was responsible for my threat letter and the senator hired the assassins.

Since we found out about this, Kayble sent Makarro to a place called Black Site. He was being sentenced for kidnapping and high treason. I tried to explain that I escaped and took refuge with him. But Kayble didn't listen. As he was taken away, we both promised we'll see each other again.

My brother knew if the citizens found out about the real story, the government reputation would fall. So, he wanted to make sure no one could speak about this incident.

"Don't take him away" "Let him go!" I kicked and screamed as I was dragged into the carriage.

As always, my orders were ignored. After a year and a half, I was going back "home".

It felt like an eternity on the ride back to the castle. We arrived a few hours before the sunrise. I stayed in a cell until Kayble finished the preparation to spread the news.

Early in the morning, he announced my arrival at the castle’s balcony in front of all the people present.

"Dear citizens. As you know, the heir of Manas disappeared a long time ago. Our hearts prayed to the Guardian for their safely return to us"

"As your prince, it was my duty to find and bring back my sibling…"

He narrates the story of how he found out I was kidnapped by an evil wizard and bravely rescued me.

I was behind him, inside the castle, during his speech. As he finishes, Kayble turns around, extends his hand and makes a gesture for me to come out.

At first, I decided I wouldn't go out. He took everything I loved, why would I follow his plan?

Suddenly, I heard the cheers from my people, happy for my safety. They were screaming my name and begging me to step out. I couldn't refuse to see them. Slowly, I went outside smiling and waving my hand.

I carefully chose my words.

"My dear citizens, I'm sorry for upsetting you but thank you for keeping me in your prayers. I'm honored to be able to see you again. May the gods bring us a better future for our great nation" As the sound of applause got higher, I went back inside.

It wasn't hard, being part of an aristocratic family, acting was a basic skill. But, I wasn't aware that would be the last time I'll feel like I had a choice.

Afterwards, my brother escorted me to my new bedroom. When we arrived, all my stuff was already there. My bed, bookshelf, jewelry box, etc. Except that something was bothering me. Why would he change my room?

When I stepped inside, I heard a click sound behind me and realized the door was locked.

“You should be thankful I even let you live. Enjoy your stay, dear sibling”. Then he walked away.

I immediately tried to open the door with all my strength but I couldn't, not even shouting and hitting would do something.

It didn't work before but I needed to try. While I was away, Kayble built this room and prepared it to prevent any possible escape. Yet that didn’t stop me.

After that day, I had many escape attempts. But, there was little I could do with just one small window and a door with locks on the outside. It was me against the entire castle guards and servants.

I wanted to test them at first, so I tried the predictable ones. Run away whenever they open the door, carve my way to another room, convince others to help me, and more.

Then, I started to create more elaborate plans, but never got too far. Later on, the security knew practically all my strategies and made it impossible for me to come up with new ideas.

In the end, I decided to take some time to observe and analyze any new opportunity instead of rushing it.

…

I was in that cell, or bedroom as they called it, all day. The only exceptions were when I needed to be present for an event and then back to the same place. Just like an animal you take out of their cage for display. A big cage filled with precious items, but a cage nonetheless.

What bothered me the most was that I barely had people visit me. I got used to having someone to talk to and be my real self. Then again, I had to be on high alert.

Servants came from time to time. They'll come to clean and bring me new clothes or food. However, they were ordered not to talk to me nor give me anything else, they were being watched all the time.

The only one who stayed enough time was Kayble, but his visits weren't exactly pleasant.

"That's the summary of the last reunion. You know you could've left this place a long time ago, right? All you need to do is follow my instructions"

"..."

"Since you insist on being so stubborn, I guess you need more time alone”

Then, he’ll leave me again.

My father never said anything, when he wanted to see me, I'll go to him. I'm not sure if he knew about this or not.

I don’t know how I kept myself sane. I was left alone with my thoughts all day.

How did we end up like this?

After everything, how Kayble, my own brother, could do this to me? How couldn't I see this coming?

Was my dearest all right? Was he even alive at this point?

Would he like to see me again? It’s my fault that he’s in prison.

HOW can I LEAVE this place? Can ANYTHING GET BETTER after this?

My routine was sitting on my bed and trying to find answers. However, that only made it worse. So, I tried to keep my mind occupied.

“Alright, I’ve finished reading my book today. I couldn't have predict the ending, it’s just the fifth time I read it”

“The sun is already going up? I’m just halfway through my writing”

“Talking to myself isn’t that bad actually. Still, I wish I was with my dearest, at least we’ll find a more interesting topic than guessing clouds shapes"

Sadly, everything became dull after a while.

Even when my body was occupied, I had this persistent question on my mind.

How did my little brother turn into this monster I don’t recognize?

The coldness in his eyes when I was captured was terrifying. I've never seen him with so much hatred.

He used to be so kind. After our mother died, I practically raised him and taught everything since our father was occupied with his duties.

"Are you free to play a match of wingball? Father said he's too busy"

"Of course Kayble, but don't be mad at me when I win. You know I'm a great player"

…

"You won again?! You'll see next time, I'll win for sure!"

I'll give everything just to play a match with you like the old times.

"One day I want to be like you!" He used to tell me. I can't help but get emotional every time I remember those moments.

Even as grown ups, we had our differences but we got along well. He always looked down to himself, unable to see how amazing he is and looked for validation from others.

Unfortunately, he found it with the other leaders when our family took the position of heirs after Mazzel died and all her children escaped.

Even with that, I still can't believe he was ready to make me paranoid. Be afraid to die at the hands of assassins if that means I’ll do what he wants.

There was a small part of me that hoped we'd get along again, but everyday Kayble shows me how impossible that dream is.

I wonder if we were a normal family, everything could've ended differently.

…

My life took a drastic change when I became the heir of Manas. I am from an aristocratic family, our title had a lot of weight in Tyrannis.

I was trained in everything an heir needed to know. Etiquette, how to walk properly, what to say to get my way and infinite resources to do anything I want.

Even so, I felt that I could do more to help others. That’s the reason I specialized in healing magic and potions. At that moment, it was the only thing I was able to do. Now, I had the opportunity to make a real change.

But my problems started when I worked with the other leaders. We’ll have our differences, they want to continue the traditions which means they are afraid of the new possibilities outside help can provide.

Mazzel's consequences are worse than we thought and we really need to ask for outside help. However, my words, despite my title, were irrelevant. I was alone with my beliefs, no one was brave enough to go against the prince.

...

It was destiny that all the events that happened after the reunion. Receiving a threat letter was the best and worst thing that happened to me.

On one hand, I was aware of the real intentions of someone I worked close by. On the other hand, if I didn’t escape, I wouldn’t have found the love of my life.

I knew I couldn't trust anyone inside the castle for help. Then I remembered these rumors about a brilliant detective who wasn't associated with the MCPD. Since I had nothing to lose, I went looking for him.

Even with his rude introduction, he didn't look like he had bad intentions. I can judge people pretty well, he seemed like someone I could trust. His name is Makarro Aetherward.

I ended up staying in the detective’s house while we investigated the case. Surprisingly, we got along and quickly it became my home as well.

It was unreal how happy I was there, it felt like someone took a huge weight from me. Sure, I needed to learn how to cook and clean for myself, but I was free.

No more being bossed around by the others nor be worried about pleasing everyone. I could truly be myself.

Also, Makarro's company was pleasant. The best moments of my day were when we could spend time together, mundane things turned out as fun experiences.

Cooking became my new hobby, making food and then tasting it with him is something I couldn’t trade for anything. How his face went from faking a smile to actually enjoy it, was enough to try my best the next time.

“Do you like the new recipe? It's from my books”

“This is really good, I'm surprised” His face lit up when he put the spoon in his mouth.

“Oh, so you didn't like my food before? You were lying to me?” I put my hand on my mouth as dramatic as possible.

“No! That's not what I-” He quickly shakes his head.

“Oh, you are so gullible” I couldn’t contain my laugh any longer. He can't do anything but look in defeat with a smile.

“Don't worry, I know my cooking wasn't the best. Honestly, those spices make the difference”

When I felt comfortable enough, I started to re-decorate the house. It screamed “I don’t live here because it feels lonely” and didn’t feel like a home someone would like to return.

I started with some plants, not flowers because I’m allergic to pollen, then vases, paintings and my own stuff. Even if I barely got outside, hanging out together at home felt like a dream I didn’t want to wake up.

I went outside mostly when I helped with cases but I enjoyed myself every time, even when we ran for our lives from the assassins. Normally, it'll be scary but I felt safe with him. I knew together we'll find a way out.

Later on, he told me I brought color into his life, and so did he to mine. After a couple of dates, we got together officially.

My favorite ones were when we went to dance, both outside and inside the house, it was just us in the world.

For that year and a half, I forgot how cruel it was back at the castle, what it was like to be invisible. Sometimes I wonder if it was better if I never ran away, at least you could've been safe...

…

I thought I could handle being alone with nothing but my thoughts but I was wrong.

There was nothing I could do but to walk in circles in my tiny room.

After a while I started to feel that they’ll try to eliminate me again, despite doing everything right. When I thought I was being paranoid, I remember that they, in fact, tried to kill me.

I had nothing but my brother's empty words, with the promise to keep me alive. At the end of the day, their mission is the same. As long as I live, they can’t do what they want.

Perhaps they will be more cautious, the next time it could be an “accident”. It is easier to tell people I died because of food poisoning. Also, everything I eat is served by them.

I ended up eating less and less until I stopped eating all together. At the same time, I asked the staff to stop coming to my place. I couldn’t take any chances, so I cleaned up myself.

It kept me occupied for a while. Maintaining my room clean and organized felt like I cleansed my own mind.

…

I got weaker and weaker with time, my hopes of going outside were fading. I could barely get out of my bed and I didn’t have a reason to do it either.

The dust started to pile up, my wrinkled clothes stayed on the floor and the window was covered with a curtain.

I could only hear the sound of my own breathing and sometimes, a few steps outside. There was nothing new to experience, even the hunger couldn't bother me. There was nothing but my thoughts.

And suddenly, I got the realization that nothing will change even if I get out. It shattered the few sanity I had left.

All these negative thoughts plagued my mind until the idea of finally doing what they wanted crossed my mind. Tears slowly fell down on my face as I accepted my defeat.

Being a puppet for someone was my greatest fear and it was closer to becoming inevitable. After many months, I still couldn't find a way out and staying locked up wasn't a great plan either.

I was thinking of explaining to my brother my change of mind, when a sudden breeze moved the curtains. The sunlight came right to my face, interrupting my plan.

Reluctantly, I got up and slowly approached the wall.

"I don't remember the sunlight being so bright"

When I was about to close the curtains, I stopped and looked outside. I could see the city, people doing their normal routine.

They still have hope for the future even with the war scars on them. They deserve it and I know for sure my brother won’t give them that. No one in this castle cares for them.

But I do.

I care and CAN make that future happen.

I felt a boost of motivation. I took out the curtains, cleaned my bedroom and organized my stuff.

At that moment, I swore, even with my last breath, I’ll do my best for them. Not only that, also my dearest is still looking for me.

I need to get myself together, we’ve promised to see each other again and I don't break a promise.

I needed to be stronger, I wouldn’t let them down. But, in order for me to do that, I had to start eating once more. Still not everything on the plate, but enough to give me energy. Just one step at a time.

…

Who knew three years went by until I got to see my love and freedom again. It was like any other day, I was sitting on a chair reading when Kayble visited me.

Once again he tried to convince me to follow his story. Then he dropped the phrase that I feared the most.

"I most definitely HATE YOU"

At that moment, my heart shattered, I knew there was no going back to how we used to be.

But I couldn’t show him my emotions, I had to keep my ground. My unwavering gaze stayed focused on his eyes as I desperately tried not to cry.

When he left, I heard a familiar voice. It came from the shadow next to my window.

It was my dearest Makkaro! I could barely believe my eyes. I was ecstatic, he was alive! I wanted nothing more than to give him a big hug.

But when I tried to approach him…

"Wait, no, don't move"

I stopped. Wasn't he happy to see me?

"Did you betray me? Was my love a game to you?"

I couldn’t see his face, but his voice was enough to know his feelings.

At first, I was in shock, does he really think I'm capable of that?

Then I realized, the story my brother created probably traveled to the place he was trapped.

"It's not true, my dearest" "I love you… I really really missed you" I could barely contain my tears.

He sounded relieved. Despite that, I couldn’t get close yet. It was until he got into the light that I understood. To say that he looked horrible was an understatement.

He had bruises, scars, burn marks. WHAT did they do to him? I was looking at an undead. He was more dead than alive.

At the moment, he just said they did terrible things to him, and even cried.

I couldn’t do anything to comfort him, still, what could I even say? He suffered because of me and no amount of words could take his memories away.

He told me how learned necromancy and escaped. That was impossible, necromancers lose their minds almost immediately and yet he sounded mostly like he used to be.

Finally he mentioned the Karmic Touch, a curse upon necromancers. Anything in contact with skin, it melts. The only exception is a protection spell.

He asked me if I could accept him like this. I didn’t even think twice and made the protection spell right away.

I immediately ran to him and we hugged tightly. It has been so long since the last time we could be together, I didn’t want it to end.

I could feel how slim he was. I have no idea how he could keep himself standing.

Suddenly, we heard noises from outside and were brought back to reality. We weren’t safe and he offered to escape in his own way. He asked if he could kidnap me. My dearest has the worst choice of words in the worst moments, and I love it.

"Are you asking me to marry you?" I said with a grin and tears of joy.

He confirmed.

"I'd love to"

Then we made a vow. I’ll take any chance to be with him again, even if I need to leave everything behind.

I won’t abandon him again. Besides, there is nothing left for me here. He is my new home.

After that, we teletransported to a safer location while destroying the room with fire. We arrived at this place far away from the castle when I saw it, a talking skeleton.

Certainly, I should've expected that but nothing really prepares you when you see it. His name is Frank, a friend of Mak. Despite the way he talks, he seems trustworthy.

And my new life began.

…

After writing down everything we went through, I remember. We've been through hell to get where we are now. There are sacrifices we need to do to get what we want.

I know necromancy surely will take over my dearest someday. But this is the reason, even if it's just a small chance to save him from this and get enough strength to change the future of my city, I’ll take it.

But the uneasy feeling hasn't gone away completely.

I should check up on him.

The End.

#goodboyaudios #good boy audios #audio rp #audio roleplay #gba #gba moth #gba makkaro #I can't believe this is my first fanfic #My Darling actually uses she/her but I didn't realized I was writing they/them and stayed like that #Since GB never stated what happened in Darling/Gienne POV I thought to give it a try #I love Darling/Gienne #She's my favorite GB listener next to Faithful #I think she can have an interesting backstory #From her life before she became heir to her relationship with Kayble #And the reasons to keep up with Mak's plan

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