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slapshot-to-the-heart · 4 years

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Breakable Heaven (pt. I) - p.l. dubois

As promised, here’s the first part of Breakable Heaven! I’m really excited for this one, there’s so many things I can’t wait for you all to read. This chapter is more setup and background, but I promise it’s all worth it! I’d love it if you reblogged (helps me know people like my work!) or pop into my inbox and let me know what you think! I read all the tags :)

part I part ii part iii part iv

June 4 (thurs)

Laurel clipped her pager back onto her scrubs, leaning over the counter of the nurses’ station. “You ready to go grab lunch?” She had just finished changing the bandages and administering pain medication for a little boy who was recovering from a heart surgery, and was looking forward to getting off her feet for a few minutes. The PICU floor was quiet, only about half of the rooms being filled, and there were no pressing matters that required her attention. If something drastic changed in the next half an hour, she always had her pager.

Madeline looked up from her chair, where she was finishing up filling in a patient’s chart. “Sounds good,” she said, letting their charge nurse know that they were headed down. Madeline Peltier had been one of the first people to introduce themselves to Laurel when she started; having only been on the unit for two weeks herself, she was still getting a handle on the reins and was more than willing to show Laurel around.

Madeline was also one of the few on the floor who was just as comfortable in English as she was in French. French had been Laurel’s foreign language through college, but she was made rudely aware upon her move to Montréal that the pronunciation and slang of Canadian French was very different from the Standard French of Madame Anderson’s rural Minnesota classroom. Her grasp of the language was good enough to take the Québec nursing licensure exam — which wasn’t even offered in English — but the spoken dialect was proving much more difficult to pick up. They walked down to the cafeteria, on the second floor, grabbing some sandwiches before swiping their ID badges for the employee discount.

“I still think they should give us free food,” Madeline said moodily, unscrewing her water bottle and taking a sip.

Laurel laughed. “When hell freezes over, maybe. Doctor’s lounge usually has some pretty nice stuff set out, or at least that’s what they say. Pity our cards don’t let us in, I’m not above identity theft.” Madeline snorted into her sandwich.

“What are you doing this weekend?” Madeline asked a few minutes later, starting to peel an orange.

“Uh, not much?” Laurel said. “Getting my papers together to resign my lease in a few weeks, grocery shopping, but nothing big. It’s been a long few shifts this week and I’m mostly just looking forward to taking it easy. Why?”

“If you’re up to it,” Madeline shrugged, “Patrice and I are going out for dinner Saturday night and we’d love for you to join us.” Patrice was Madeline’s long-time boyfriend, they started dating in university and had been together ever since.

Laurel rolled her eyes. “Madeline, thank you for the offer, but I don’t want to keep being your third wheel.”

Madeline let out a conspiratorial grin. Oh no, Laurel thought. This can’t be good. “As it would so happen,” she said, “you wouldn’t be third wheeling. One of Patrice’s friends is back in the city for a few months, and I think you two might hit it off,” she sing-songed. Madeline had been trying to set her up from practically the moment they met; whether it was someone from her gym, one of the critical care fellows, or apparently, her boyfriend’s childhood friend. They were always nice guys, but nothing had ever stuck for more than a date or two.

---

Twelve hour shifts meant that, at least on work days, there was no way Laurel was going to have the emotional or physical capacity to make herself a real dinner. She’d order in occasionally, but it more common to just pull together something quick like a frozen pizza or grab whatever leftovers she could find in the fridge. Yesterday’s chicken and rice it was, then. Sticking it in the microwave, Laurel opened the door to her balcony, letting Piper out to use the bathroom. Piper was an eight-month-old chocolate lab, the love of her life who she had adopted just after the new year. Laurel had always grown up with dogs; back in Minnesota she had Jackson and Lucy, and she had been missing them more than a little bit since moving to Canada. Piper was incredible. Intelligent, loyal, and so friendly that even her neighbor’s notoriously picky five-year-old son had taken a shine to her. She wolfed down her food, grabbed Piper’s leash and her water bottle, and headed out the door.

June 5 (fri)

The intricacies of language were hard. And, somehow, learning the intricacies of a language you already knew was even harder. Laurel was trying her damndest to pick up Québecois French as fast as humanly possible, but while she could conjugate l’imparfait in her sleep, the accent and vocabulary were what was really throwing her off. But she intended on making a life in Montréal, and staying as long as she could, so there really wasn’t any option but to hit the books. Immersion worked for some people, and thank God she knew the medical terminology to communicate with her patients and their families, but it wasn’t quite the same when she was struggling through telling the mechanic her car needed an oil change. In a perfect world she’d have someone to help her one-on-one, but she didn’t want to ask Madeline for that big of a favor. And while she made decent money at the hospital — she could afford her own apartment and had a little left over every month to put into savings — it was nowhere near enough to pay for a tutor. So Duolingo, and podcasts, and Youtube lessons it was.

Letting out a groan, Laurel leaned her head into her hands, shutting her laptop. She wasn’t going to make any progress being this frustrated. She bent down to scratch Piper, whose favorite spot for naps was a blanket right beside Laurel’s desk, between the ears, pulling her leash and collar off of their book by her bedroom door. Piper’s ears perked up, and soon enough she was running around the apartment wagging her tail as fast as it could go, a slightly exasperated but nevertheless laughing Laurel following. She finally managed to clip on her leash; at fifty pounds, Piper still had a little bit of growing left to do, but she had already proven she was more than capable of bending the will of a full-grown and otherwise capable 23-year-old woman.

She had discovered Parc Saint-François-d’Assise a few weeks after adopting Piper, and had thanked her lucky stars for finding a dog park so close to her apartment. Having a schedule like hers meant that she couldn’t always get her to a weekly training or obedience class — plus, the French that she did know certainly didn’t include ‘heel’ — so the time spent socializing was well-appreciated. It was only a fifteen minute walk, and Piper was good enough on a leash that she only stopped once to bark at a squirrel in one of the many birch trees that lined the street. The park was an acre or two, small enough that she could see all the way across and keep an eye on Piper as she let her off-leash, but big enough that there was more than enough room for all the animals. It wasn’t particularly crowded that Friday; Laurel was confused for a moment before she remembered that most people were busy at 11 AM on a weekday. There were a few families, with kids out for the summer from school, and a man playing in the far corner with his two small dogs, but not much else.

Laurel leaned down, unclipping the leash from Piper’s collar, and gave the chocolate lab a scratch on the head. “Have fun, girl!” Piper never needed much encouragement, and took off running almost before Laurel had even wrapped up her leash. Rolling her eyes and laughing, she picked up her phone. A text from Allison, one of her only friends in the city aside from Madeline, inviting her out for her birthday next week. Madeline, giving her the address for the restaurant the next night. The Duolingo owl, threatening her with bodily harm if she didn’t log her language progress for the day. She was so engrossed in checking her email that she didn’t hear the shout for her to look out, or the two bulldogs barreling towards her at full speed, until they had knocked her off her feet and she landed straight on her ass.

“Desolé. Vas-tu bien?” The man asked, holding out a hand and helping her up. Laurel nodded, brushing the dirt off her jeans.

“Ouais, ouais. Pas de problème, pas de mal. Ils sont chiens, non?”

He chuckled, patting the smaller of the two bulldogs, which had decided to take a break from accosting passers-by to get petted. “C’est vrai.” They talked for another minute or two before saying goodbye, but she could have sworn it was an hour.

Walking Piper home half an hour later, Laurel was struck with two realizations. The mystery man — bulldog dad, as she had started calling him in her internal monologue — had very possibly the prettiest eyes she’d ever seen in her life, and she’d be cursing herself for the next week for not getting his number.

June 6 (sat)

Saturday meant Laurel had a day off, but more importantly, Saturday meant she didn’t have to set her alarm for 5:30 and could actually wake up at a semi-normal hour. Her internal clock didn’t wake her up until half past seven; even then, it was Piper’s soft barks that finally got her up, throwing on a pait of shorts, and leading her out to the courtyard down the hallway to use the bathroom before coming back to her apartment and throwing open the fridge doors. No 7 AM shift meant that she mercifully had enough time to make a proper breakfast. On shift days, there never seemed to be enough time to actually sit down and eat, and Laurel usually ended up just having a quick bowl of cereal or some overnight oats and making a protein shake to drink on the drive over. Eggs, bread, yogurt, a peach she had picked up from the farmer’s market.

After the bread was done toasting and her tea was finished steeping, she gingerly carried the food out to the balcony, placing it on the table as Piper trotted out behind her. Laurel crunched her toast with one hand as she flipped the pages of a book with the other, a Shirley Chisholm biography that Victoria, her best friend from high school, had recommended her. It was almost an hour later when she finally found a good place to stop. As much as she may have liked to just camp out on her balcony all day and blow through the rest of the book, her pantry was crying out for a grocery run and she was running desperately low on ice cream.

---

The dinner reservation was at 7, and by 6:30 Laurel was almost ready to leave. Her blue skirt fanned out on the couch as she sat killing time on her phone, tapping the floor nervously with the same pair of block heels that she’d worn to her university graduation. The restaurant wasn’t far from her apartment building, so a few minutes later, she decided to go, leaving Piper with a pat on the head and plenty of food in her bowl. Laurel laughed to herself on the way over, her eyes flickering over the skyline as she walked alongside the St. Lawrence River.

It’s like what she had told Madeline over and over again, every time she tried to set her up on a blind date with a friend of a friend. She wasn’t actively looking for a relationship but wouldn’t be opposed to it. Whatever happens, happens. Biting her lip, Laurel decided that even if she didn’t hit it off with whatever guy Madeline was trying to set her up, even if things go horribly wrong and he’s the exact opposite of what she’s looking for in a partner, she’ll get a free meal and, hopefully, a new friend.

Laurel hadn’t been told much about her blind date, or anything, really. She didn’t even know his name. From what she had been able to figure out, he was from the area but didn’t work in Canada most of the year — so maybe he was in business? All Madeline told her was that he was tall, attractive, and had a dog. Or was it two? She honestly couldn’t remember. She trusted her and Patrice’s judgement, so if he had gotten their stamp of approval, it was good enough for her. She grabbed her phone out of her bag as she neared the restaurant, letting Madeline know she was almost there and asking where to meet her. She told the hostess she was meeting some friends, and Madeline walked around the corner less than a minute later. “Hi, love!” she said, reaching out and wrapping Laurel in a warm hug. “We’re over this way.” Laurel followed her around the corner and past the bar to a four-seater against the wall. She slid into the seat closest to the wall, leaving a space empty.

“He should be back in a minute, just ran to the bathroom,” Patrice said, nodding towards the vacant seat and referring to her mystery man. A minute passed, Laurel scanning the wine list, before Madeline threw her hand up in greeting.

“Salut, PL!” When Laurel looked up, she almost dropped her menu.

“Oh my God!” The stranger — PL’s — eyes widened in recognition. “You’re the bulldog dad!”

He chuckled, rounding the table to greet her with a kiss on the cheek. Left, then right. It had taken Laurel a while to get used to; even going to university in Toronto, cheek kissing was practically obsolete, but that changed very quickly upon her move to Montréal. “I am. Pierre-Luc Dubois, good to meet you properly this time.”

Madeline looked between the two, clearly confused. “You know each other?”

Laurel shook her head. “Not really, no. His dogs ran into me at the park yesterday when I was there with Piper, we talked for a minute or two.”

Pierre nodded in affirmation. “So, Piper. The chocolate lab’s yours then?”

“My pride and joy.”

June 13 (sun)

Over the next week and a half, it became more and more common for Laurel to meet up with the group on the weekend, or one of her off days, or really whenever she had spare time. She had learned that Pierre-Luc was a hockey player, Patrice explaining that they had played atom league together growing up and the friendship had somehow stuck. Come to think of it, he had looked a little familiar. The University of Minnesota Duluth was less than an hour drive from her hometown, and besides being the college that the majority of the 50% of college-bound graduates of her high school went to, it also had one of the best hockey programs in the country. So she knew the sport, followed enough to be informed, and had even become a de facto Maple Leafs fan from her time in Toronto.

Sometimes Madeline and Laurel would bring another friend from the hospital along, sometimes it was just the four of them. Once, a Sunday afternoon coffee meetup turned into just Laurel and Pierre-Luc; Patrice had come down with a bad cold and Madeline was staying behind to look after him. If she was being honest, it was far less awkward than she had anticipated. Pierre had insisted on buying her iced capp, and they had settled in a corner booth, sharing a box of Timbits.

“Patrice mentioned you’re from the U.S., somewhere in the Midwest?” Pierre asked, sipping his coffee.

She nodded. “Cloquet, Minnesota,” Laurel sighed, “where there is exactly one hotel, one high school, and life revolves around the mines.”

Pierre sucked in. “That sounds...interesting,” he said diplomatically.

Laurel laughed. “It’s okay, you don’t have to mince words. The people are nice, if you think like they do, and the scenery is gorgeous, but…” She gathered her thoughts. “It’s not the place you can really dream big, you know?” He nodded. “Neither of my parents went to college, my mom’s a receptionist at the elementary school and my dad works in the mines. I knew by the time I was in high school that I wanted something more. There was just nothing for me there, and I didn’t ever want to feel as trapped and beaten down as some people I know.”

Pierre leaned back in his chair. “Do you go back often?”

“Once a year, maybe twice?” Laurel said, shaking her head. “I’ve only got a few good friends back there, and trust me, they’re much more excited to come to big-city Canada than I would be to go back to a town of 12,000 people.”

“Fair enough.”

Conversation between them flowed easily, so easily that before she knew it, two hours had gone by and he had to leave for a skate. As she walked back to the metro, Laurel couldn’t help but shake the feeling that the two hours she had spent with Pierre had felt more like a date than any she’d been on since moving to Montréal a year ago. But it couldn’t have been a date, because it wasn’t supposed to be. Right?

June 15 (tues)

It was half past seven on Tuesday, and Laurel was just getting home from work. She loved her job, genuinely, but twelve hour shifts were no joke. Spinning her key ring around her finger, she stopped in the mailroom, unlocking her box and fishing out the stack of envelopes that had accumulated in the two days since she’d last checked. Walking over to the elevators, she held the bundle in one hand as the other punched in her button to the third floor. Laurel flipped through the envelopes as the doors opened. Water bill, bank statement, letter from Immigration, Refugees, and Citizenship Canada. Hang on. Laurel stopped at the last envelope, running her finger under the flap as she turned her key in the lock, opening the door with her hip and letting it slam shut behind her.

She had applied a little over a month ago for her permanent residency card, which she had been assured by everyone she asked would be a relatively easy and painless process. “You’re a nurse, and a good one. I could use ten of you,” her charge nurse had stated. “You went to school here, you have a Canadian degree and a Canadian license. There’s no reason they would cause you any trouble,” Madeline had said. And she had done her due diligence, double-checked every piece of information, checked off every document on the list. Done everything she was supposed to do. So when she unfolded the paper, the words shocked her.

Denied. Laurel brought her hand shakily up to her mouth as her eyes raced down the letter. No explanation was given, all she was told was that her application had been rejected and she had until September 17, when her work visa expired, to leave the country. The first thing Laurel did was frantically grab her laptop, seeing if there was some way she could apply for a visa extension, but the deadline had passed; she’d have to go back to the consulate in Minneapolis and try to re-apply from there, but her chances weren’t good if she’d already been rejected. The second thing she did was collapse on the floor, Piper nosing herself under her arm, and cry.

June 16 (wed)

When the group met up for lunch the next day, Madeline noticed something was off about Laurel almost immediately. Normally someone who was hyper-focused on the task at hand, she was stirring her straw around in her glass, nibbling at a piece of bread and answering questions shortly if at all. “What’s up?” she asked carefully, catching Laurel’s eye as she tried to busy herself with straightening her napkin. There wasn’t really a way she could get out of answering that one.

“I, uh, I got a letter yesterday,” she said. Pierre and Patrice stopped their conversation. All eyes were on her. “From immigration services. They told me,” her eyes pricked with tears, “they told me my PR application was denied, and I only have until the middle of September before I have to leave.”

“Like, leave the country?” Pierre asked. She nodded. “But can’t you renew your visa or something?”

“No, I looked into everything.” Laurel said in frustration, shaking her head. “There’s not enough time for it to be processed, I’d have to go back and reapply in the States, and even then the chances aren’t great.”

Madeline leaned over, wrapping Laurel up in a hug. “Oh, Laur. I’m so sorry,” she said. “You don’t deserve this.”

“It’s just hard,” Laurel started, “knowing that there’s nothing there for me back home. That’s the whole reason why I came to Canada in the first place, to get away. To get out. I’d have to retake all my licensure exams and find a new job and I don’t want to have to start all over when that’s not at all what I planned for. I thought I’d stay. I thought this was going to be my home”

“I can call my friend who’s a lawyer, see if he’s got any ideas?” Patrice offered.

Laurel smiled weakly “Thanks, Patrice, but I really don’t think they’d be able to do much. I was on the website for hours, and there’s like two ways I wouldn’t be kicked out of the country. And I don’t think I’m going to be able to give birth by September 17,” she said, letting out a watery laugh.

“You’d have to marry someone or something to stay,” Madeline said.

“Yeah, that’s the only other way it was going to happen,” Laurel agreed. “But seeing as how I’m obscenely single, I don’t see that happening…” She trailed off.

“I’d marry you,” Pierre said suddenly, shrugging.

Laurel’s head whipped to her side. “You’d what?”

“I’d marry you. We’re both single, by all accounts you’re an amazing nurse and deserve to stay. We get married, stay ‘together’ for a few years until you get your citizenship, and then tragically inform the citizenship and immigration people that while we tried, it just didn’t work out, and get a divorce. Easy peasy.”

Laurel almost burst out laughing, the idea was so ridiculous. She almost couldn’t wrap her head around what he was offering to do. He couldn’t be serious. Right?

---

Laurel slung her arm over her head, body tangled up in bedsheets. According to her phone, it was well past one. She couldn’t sleep. She had tried rain sounds, counting sheep, drinking a cup of chamomile tea, but nothing was working; she just wasn’t able to still her mind. Honestly, she couldn’t stop thinking about lunch earlier. More specifically, what Pierre had said.

As much of a bad person as it may have made her sound, the more she thought about Pierre’s offer, the more it made sense. He was incredibly attractive, so it wouldn’t be hard to fake a marriage to him for a few years. She really didn’t keep in contact with anyone from back home in Cloquet aside from her family and a few friends from high school, so it’s not like there would really be anyone to blow her cover. And she really, really wanted to stay in Canada. It wasn’t just the scenery, or the general human decency of everyone, or even the universal healthcare that pushed her to stay. She had fallen in love with the people, the city, and didn’t want to go down without a fight.

Rolling over, she grabbed her phone from her nightstand, pulling up Pierre’s contact. Hey, she texted. Laurel immediately cursed herself as the three dots popped up on his side. Hey? She was going to ask this man to marry her and the best she could come up with was hey? He wrote back immediately. Hey. You’re up late, what’s up? Laurel took a deep breath. How serious were you about offering to marry me? His second response was even faster than the first. As a heart attack.

#hockey imagine #hockey writing #pierre luc dubois #hockey smut #nhl imagine #hockey #nhl imagines #nhl smut #hockey imagines #nhl writing #nhl

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cosmojaem · 4 years

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Jack of all Trades [l.mk]

Summary: After saving an unknown and injured man from dying. All of a sudden, you’re under the protection of one of Seoul’s notorious mafia.

Genre: mafia!au, strangers-to-lovers!au, angst, fluff

Warnings: mentions of violence, blood, smoking, language, implied sexual content

Pairing: Mark Lee x f!reader

Word count: 7.4k

You have never been more relieved to go home after a long, gruelling day at your job. You’ve worked for a cafe for a while as a part time job, then became a full time thing after you’ve graduated to earn a little more cash to support yourself. After all, earning money is not easy.

During one of your breaks, you instantly remembered that the results for the Nursing Licensure exams are bound to be released today. Without missing a beat, you immediately pulled out your phone, a notification popped up the moment you typed in your passcode.

LOCAL MAFIA WRECKS HAVOC, POLICE ADVICE CIVILIANS TO STAY INSIDE:

Kim Sohye | May 4, 2020 12:29

You cleared the notification after and decided to read the article later. Crime is pretty high nowadays but you can confidently say that you live in a safe neighborhood because you've been walking home alone despite these happenings.

Refreshing the site for the result, your fingers typing your exam number rapidly. How you wanted to cry at that very moment. Luckily, you can still do a retake, but you have to wait for 45 days for the next exam which gives you more time to prepare.

As you neared your apartment, you fished out your keys from your pocket. As soon as you approached the door, you got startled by a body of a man lying in front. The man wheezed, forcing his body to stand up. Your instincts were yelling at you, telling you that this might be a red flag and he’s going to murder you.

But when you saw his badly injured body, you knew you had to help him.

“S-sir, I don’t think you should stand up. You’re badly injured.” You said, running towards his body and placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Leave me alone.” He commanded whilst removing your hand from his shoulder then let out a hiss.

“Don’t!” He replied immediately, shooting what seems to be like a sharp look but his pained expression betrayed him. “Just don’t take me to the hospital.”

You were confused, but eventually agreed to his odd request, “Alright, at least let me patch you up. Can you stand by yourself?”

“I’ll be fine,” he waved you off, attempting to stand up with the little strength that he had but eventually hissed at the pain from his knee. Even with his groaning and hissing, he refused to tell you he needed help.

Rolling your eyes at his stubbornness, you helped him up while opening the door to your apartment then walked inside and laid him on your couch. You opened the lamp near your couch to see his injuries.

“I’ll be right back, don’t even think about getting up.” You told him sternly before turning your back to fetch your supplies.

You returned with all the things you need, setting them down on the floor and kneeling down after. Attempting to take his shirt off to have a better look at his injuries was more difficult than you thought as he was flinching when you touched his arms.

“How much do you like this shirt?” You asked, grabbing the scissor from your supplies in hopes of making things easy for the both of you by cutting his shirt. A pained hiss draws from his lips, “Not that much”

After doing what must be done, you grimaced once you had a better look at the bruises, cuts and blood that littered his body and took a cotton pad soaked in antiseptic to clean his wounds. After almost 30 minutes of cleaning and dressing his wounds, you also stitched the deep cut he had by his abdomen.

When you finished up, you cleaned up all the blood soaked cotton pad and the things you used.

He whispered, “Thank you.”

“No problem, I never got your name. Can’t keep calling you ‘hey’ and ‘sir’ all time, can we? Mine’s (y/n).” You earned a low chuckles from your response. He seems fairly amused, “It’s Mark.”

“Well Mark, you’ve sustained a lot of injuries that needs healing so I suggest you stay here for the meantime since I’ll need to remove that stitch that I made.”

“What?!” He exclaimed loudly. You swear, your neighbors will be complaining the next morning by how loud he shouted. “Fuck, I can’t do that! I have to go, thanks for patching me up.”

Mark attempted to stand up from his state, only for him to let a pained groan which makes your statement correct. You shake your head at his stubbornness, “I told you. Now, stop being a stubborn ass and sit down or you’ll open up your stitches.”

Eventually, giving up all his attempts of moving, he decided to just lay down there. You turned back from him to return your things and heat some dinner because you were starving from all the work you did. As you returned your things and went to the kitchen, you heard a faint voice, specifically Mark’s voice talking through the phone in a hushed tone. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop at their conversation but all you heard was ‘base’, ‘Hyuck’ and another guy’s name you forgot.

Once you heard him end the call, you immediately shuffled to the fridge as if nothing happened.

“Uh (y/n)?” He called from the living room. “Can I have a glass of water?”

“S-sure, just a sec!” You stuttered as you hurriedly grabbed the leftovers and the pitcher of water. You poured him water then went back to the living room with two plates in your arm.

“Here.” You placed his glass of water then set down the plates before running back to the kitchen to get the leftovers. “I’ll be right back.”

Mark reached for his glass before gulping down its contents, he surveyed your apartment. It was normal, a few frames here and there along with furniture and some decorations. Squinting his eyes, trying to take a closer look to the diploma hanging on your wall.

‘(l/n) (y/n), Bachelor Science in Nursing’

That explained a lot with the amount of medical supplies that you have. Normal civilians don’t have stitches for wounds, right? He fumbled in his pocket for his phone then sent a text to Renjun. Hearing light padding of footsteps, he put his phone back in his pocket then watched you place the food in front of you two.

“Sorry, it’s nothing much,” you said sheepishly then looked up to him. “Go ahead and eat.”

Placing his portion of the food on his plate then added rice, handing him his utensil also. After giving his share, you went ahead to get your shared portion and both of you ate in complete silence. Hearing only the sounds of clanks from the utensils and plate, Mark decided to break the ice with a cough.

“So...” he trailed, which earned him a quiet hum from you. “You’re a nurse, huh?”

He immediately noticed that you looked at him hesitantly before opening your mouth to speak, “Not really. I failed the licensure exam so technically, I’m not a ‘nurse’ yet.”

“Technically, you are one. Just not one in practice.” You flashed a small smile at him before going back to finish your meal.

“So what do you do for a living, Mark?” You asked then you saw him visibly flinched at your question. “Are your bruises hurting again?”

Uneasiness crossed his face which was weird since you only asked what he does for a job but you shrugged it off instead. You were a stranger to him after all.

“Um yeah, they kinda are.” He admitted which made you stand up to get an ice pack then let out a sigh of relief that he was able to avoid the question.

You went back with an ice pack in hand, giving it to him so he can ice his bruises. Mark mumbled out a small ‘thank you’ before applying the ice on his bruises, hissing at the cold temperature. Picking up the plates then head back to the kitchen to wash and clean up. Once you finished, you dried your hands and got a fresh batch of extra bedsheets and pillows and set it beside the couch.

“You will sleep on the bed since it’s much more comfortable there than here.” You said to Mark as you set up the books you’ll be reading.

“How about you?” Mark asked

“I’ll sleep on the couch, don’t worry about me! You take the bed.” Convincing him which earned a sigh from him, you helped him up to your room then gently had him sit up to your bed.

“I’ll leave the door open so holler if you need anything, Mark.”

“Thank you for this, you didn’t have to but thanks. I’ll pay you back sometime.” Mark said before tucking himself in.

You turned off the lights then went back to the living room to do your usual reading before going back to bed. It was around 3 am when you were awakened by a sound of screaming, immediately getting up and going inside the room to find Mark panting and sweating.

“What happened?”

“Did I — I'm sorry, did I wake you up, (y/n)? Sorry about that, you can go back to sleep.” Mark said as you were about to turn your back, he let out a small whimper. Hesitation floods his eyes, “A-actually, can you stay?”

You were taken aback by his sudden request as he only ever showed that he was a tough and stubborn person altogether from your interactions from before. You contemplated for a bit then answered, “Sure, I’ll just grab the sheets and put my makeshift bedding here.”

You returned to the living room to get the bedsheets and pillow, setting them down on the floor beside the bed then tucked yourself in, drifting to deep sleep.

Mark woke up from the light blaring from the side of the curtain. He stretched his arms then felt that he was holding something, only to see your blanket in his hands. He looked down on the floor but you weren’t there. Gripping on the sides of your bed to support himself, pain jolting across his body then slowly got up to sit. You entered the room a few moments later, clad in your underwear.

Feeling someone was burning holes in your skin, you looked up to see Mark staring at you in shock before looking away quickly. Immediately realizing the situation, you hurriedly went to grab your clothes and ran out of the room without.

That was something. He thought, shaking his head to cool his warm cheek.

It took you a while to forget the incident that happened earlier, you cursed at yourself for forgetting that you’re not alone. Living alone has its perks and walking around in your underwear without anyone seeing is one of them but you can’t do that anymore since you have company now. You left earlier, telling him you had to go to work now and will be back in the evening.

“So you’re telling me, you’re stuck in there for days?” Hyuck said from the other line, trying his best not to laugh at Mark but failed miserably. The latter sighed, “I just said that, Hyuck. How’s everything there?”

“Chaotic as usual, here in the base. I had to stop Renjun from choking Jisung earlier. Report came in, there’s someone lurking in one of our territories, will need some taking care of though.”

“I’ll be out of here in a few days, just need to have this stitch removed. For the meantime, just continue reporting as usual to me and the hyungs. Also, tell Renjun to send me his findings.” Mark instructed the younger male, earning a hum on the other end before ending the call.

His phone vibrated, opening it to see the background check on you that he asked Renjun to send him a few days ago. Shaking his head when he saw the message before the attachment.

‘Interesting candidate for a girlfriend, hyung.’

You just finished an order, calling out your customer’s name to retrieve their order then went back to the register when you heard the bell chime.

“Welcome, what would- Mark? What the hell are you doing here?” You whispered harshly at him as he let out a sly smile at your direction.

“I’m hungry, (y/n). There’s no food at home so I decided to grab a meal, didn’t know you worked here.” He answered nonchalantly.

You argued with clenched fists against the counter, “You’re not supposed to be walking around, you ass! I told you that!”

“Please, I’m a grown adult. I can tolerate pain, dear.”

Your manager asked while giving you a sharp look, “Is there something wrong here, sir?”

“Nothing at all. Just having a chat with (y/n), that’s all.”

You tried not to roll your eyes but you weren’t up for a lecture about customer service from your manager so with a strained smile, you took Mark’s order while attempting to ignore the burning eyes from your manager.

The following days, whenever he had the chance to go out, he sometimes drops by the cafe to eat and then stays until your shift ends, despite your violent protests. Another reason is to meet up with one of the members, mostly Hyuck for reports on what’s happening. Today was no exception.

“Hyung.” Mark turned at the sound of the voice to see a familiar figure wearing a face mask, hiding the lower part of his face.

He pulled his cap lower and approached the figure who was seated not far from his line of sight.

“What did you get, Hyuck?” He asked as he sat in front of him.

“There’s disturbance in the shipment of our cartels, we’re still looking into it but Jisung says someone is doing it on purpose. Also, I found this too.” Hyuck handed him a thick folder with twine tied around it. “You might want to take a look at it while you’re at it.”

Untying the tightly knotted twine around the folder, he opened the folder carefully with his eyes scanning across the contents inside. His fists visibly tightened at the folder he’s holding.

“This bastard- I killed him off a long time ago!”

Hyuck looked at him grimly, “That’s what we thought too. Apparently, from the information that I’ve garnered… You did kill his brother, Hyun, the former boss but he had a brother that we didn’t know of until now. He’s gathered men and out for blood, hyung.”

“He’s after me.” Mark looked at him in realization. “What else?”

A moment of silence engulfed between them before Hyuck gives him another file out of nowhere then throwing it in front of him.

“We also found out about his name and whereabouts; his name is Lee Seung and he’s last seen along the ports of Busan last week.” The younger male said while pointing on the picture of a man dressed in black.

His face hardened at the new information. “I need to know who he is working with and all his activities. Call everyone, we’ll be having a meeting now.” Mark commanded while he pulled out his phone.

He stood up from his seat, creating a creaking sound while he picked up the folders and placed them in his arms. After a few rings, the other line answered.

“Hyung, it’s me. We have a problem.”

Hyuck stood up from his seat and followed suit while sending everyone an urgent text.

You unlocked the door to your apartment, expecting to see Mark lazing on the couch but strangely, he wasn’t in the living room.

He must be sleeping. You thought as you dropped your things on the ground and went to your room to check on him, only to find an empty room.

“Mark?” You called before you closed the door and went to the kitchen.

No answer.

You went to the bathroom and knocked on the door, “Mark?”

Again, no answer.

You called his name numerous times but there was no answer to your calls. The house was empty, but you remembered leaving with Mark still inside.

Did he go somewhere? But where? He’s still injured. Numerous thoughts started to run inside your head which eventually led you to think of the worst possibilities that could happen to him. Now, you regret not asking for his contact number.

Hours passed by, it was already pitch black outside. You’ve drummed your fingers against the table as you looked at the clock across you. Mark still hasn’t arrived, you’ve already searched around the neighborhood and asked your neighbors if they saw anyone come out the house but none.

It’s already 11 pm. Where the hell is he? Your worried thoughts still are not kept at bay.

Upon hearing the creak of your door, your train of thoughts were interrupted then heard a light padding of footsteps. When you saw Mark, you felt relieved and annoyed at the same time.

“Where the hell did you go? Do you even know what time it is?” You asked while your voice got louder to every question.

“Errands.” Mark replied, he tried to make his way to your room.

“I’m not done with you!” You exclaimed out of annoyance.

He sighed as he rubbed his temples, “Look, can we just talk about this tomorrow? I’m tired.”

“Oh so you’re telling me you’re tired? Did you know that I went around looking for you and sat here for hours, worrying about your whereabouts! Maybe the next time I see you, you’re already dead.”

“Thanks for the concern, (y/n) but no one asked you to do those! Who are you even? You’re not my mother! Hell, you’re only a stranger.” He argued, visibly angered that you won’t leave him alone.

Your jaw tightened as you shot him a glare. “Atleast I have the decency to tend your injuries and shelter you! What an ungrateful brat.”

The argument became heated and it slowly became a screaming match, insult after insult being thrown in the mix. No one would back down and lower their pride, your screaming match only ended when your neighbor shouted from their window to shut up.

“Whatever, don’t talk to me if you’re still going to be an asshole.” You whispered harshly in his direction.

“Fine!” He slammed the door behind him as you plopped on your couch and curled into a ball, ignoring the cold nip of air against your skin.

The next day, the two of you gave each other the cold shoulder treatment while occasionally grumbling incoherent curses and mumbles under your breaths. Meanwhile, on the outskirts of Busan, a man took a long drag from his cigarette from his window sill.

“Boss!” The man turned his head to the direction of the voice. “We found him.”

A devilish smirk crept on his lips, eyes gleamed with nothing but intent. Taking his cigarette close to his lips again before puffing a cloud of smoke. “Is that so? What else do you have for me?”

A folder was thrown across, he flipped into it and picked up a picture pinned into it.

“Interesting.” He said while examining the picture then turned back to his men. “Get her. I‘d like to settle unfinished business with the Jack of all Trades.”

A loud yawn escaped your lips as you ran your hands through your hair. You casted a quick look to your room before clicking your tongue.

Tch. As if I’ll apologize. You thought as you laid down on the couch, using your arm as a pillow before falling into deep slumber.

Mark can’t sleep, he’s been tossing and turning but to no avail, he just couldn’t close his eyes or feel sleepy. He woke up earlier from another recurring nightmare that he has been having recently.

I’ll go out for a while, maybe it’ll help me.

He tossed the blanket aside and grabbed his jacket before making his way out of the room. With light footsteps, he quietly prayed that you won’t hear him going out. You stirred in your sleep which caused him to flinch, hearing mumble in your sleep then later turned into snoring.

What a weird girl you are. He thought as he watched you snore in your sleep. With slow steps, he went to your direction and put his jacket on your shivering body before making his way outside.

You didn’t remember sleeping with a blanket on but when you woke up, you saw a jacket that was not yours on you. Scrunching your nose as you recognized who it belongs to. Of course, it had to be him.

Stretching your legs before making your way to the kitchen to get yourself some water. The last thing you wanted was a bread being thrown at your face, the plastic made a crinkling sound when it hit the floor.

“What the fuck?” You snarled whole picking up the bread on the floor. “What’s your problem?”

Mark hummed in response before biting into his food, “Well, I don’t know. Maybe if you stop acting like you have a stick up your ass then maybe, I’ll apologize. Also, you were supposed to catch that.”

“Do you expect me to catch that? Bitch, you must be fucking stupid.”

He heaved a sigh before ignoring what you said. You pulled a chair just across him while rolling your eyes.

“I’m sorry. There. Happy now?” You said with a strained smile before he lets out a triumphant smirk. “Men and their stupid ego.”

“I’ll ignore what you said but I guess, we’re good now.”

You two continued to eat breakfast, occasionally sending jabs before you continued on with your routine of leaving for work. Fortunately, you were let out early from your shift as your boss was going to celebrate anniversary with his girlfriend so you went home immediately.

“Can you stay still and stop moving? I’m trying to remove your stitches here.” You barked as you slowly cut the stitches, pulling out the thread slowly until there’s none left. “There, good as new.”

Mark stood up, lifting his shirt and going to the full body mirror to see a scar. From the past few days, his injuries were healed and the aching was gone, thanks to you changing the dressing of his wounds and nursing him back to health. He almost felt like a new person with the newfound strength he regained.

“Thanks (y/n), I feel a lot better now.” Mark smiled which made you return his smile. “I have to go back now.”

“Ah right.” You said, not hiding the disappointment in your tone.

Reality dawning to you, almost feeling like you have been hit by a ton of bricks. He has to go now and you’ll probably won’t see him again. It saddens you because, you’ve warmed up to him in the past few days, silence will be your company again inside this house.

“Do you really have to go?” You looked up to him with hopeful eyes, almost pleading to him.

He sighed, “Sadly, I have to. My family needs me.”

He took a few strides to you then hesitatingly placed his hand on your cheek and looked at you with a soft expression. You eyed him, engraving every feature of his in your mind; his starry eyes, cheekbones, button-like nose and lastly, his lips. You wondered was he always this handsome and felt your heartbeat ringing in your ears.

“I’ll miss you, you know.” You mumbled but his ears perked up at what you said, letting out a sad smile on his lips.

“I will too.” Mark said then he leaned close, your noses almost touching. “Can I?”

You gave him a nod before he leaned closer to your face, feeling his breath fanning across your face as you leaned slowly and closed your eyes when you felt his lips touch yours. You placed your hands on his chest, your lips moving against his, slow and careful as if he was going to disappear.

The two of you pulled away, panting then he leaned on your forehead before opening his eyes to look at your flushed face.

He unclasped something from his neck, you felt a cold metal being clasped around your neck after then he looked at it then you. You looked down on your neck to see his silver cross necklace around your neck, gently cradling it in your hand.

“Just something that will remind you of me when you’re missing me.” Mark cheekily said before ruffling your hair.

Rolling your eyes then you hit his arm playfully, “As if, Mark.”

“Can you give me your phone?” He asked as you handed him your phone with visible confusion then typed in his number before handing it back to you. “Here’s my number so if you miss me or you get into trouble, you call this number.”

You both let out a joyous laugh before you two head out to the door, bumping each other’s shoulder. A comfortable silence engulfed you two as you made your way out.

“I guess, I’ll see you later then (y/n)?” He said before giving your forehead a soft peck which received a hit from a flustered (y/n).

“Yeah, see you when I see you.” He turned his back and started to walk away but stopped midway. “I’ll pay you back somehow, just you wait”

He continued to walk til his figure disappeared from your sight, you let out a loud sigh before closing the door behind you. You’re alone again, something you were used to before but not anymore. You clasped the cross on your neck, giving it a soft kiss. Days turned to weeks then months, your life returned to normal— it didn’t feel the same without Mark.

“So, where’s your boyfriend?” Yves pipped from the counter while you wipe the cups clean.

You blushed, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“There’s no denying it, (y/n)~ Your face says it all.” She teased, nudging your shoulder with a knowing smile. “But have to admit, you two look cute together.”

You puffed your cheeks as you finished wiping the cups clean, shrugging off at her comment. Your eyes briefly glanced at the necklace he gave you. Looking at your wrist watch to see that your shift has ended. You went to the back to change out of your work clothes and fetch your stuff. You went out with your bag as Yves was busy typing her apron.

“I’ll be going now, Yves. I’ll leave the rest to you.” You announced as you made your way to the door.

“(Y/n)!” She called which made you stop in your tracks and turned around to look at her. “There’s a lot of criminal activity going on lately, you sure you can walk alone? Do you want me to call someone to accompany you?”

You waved off your hand at her, telling her you’re fine before you bid her goodbye again. She shot you a concerned look before slowly waving back at your direction.

Maybe you were starting to regret not listening to Yves’ warning because once you were walking towards your usual direction to your apartment, you felt heavy footsteps behind you. You didn’t think about it too much until you made a detour from your usual route which confirmed all of your suspicions of being followed.

With your phone in your hand, you immediately tried to dial the number on your speed dial.

“Hello?” Mark answered on the other end, tears welling up from hearing his voice and also, out of fear. “Who’s this?”

“I-it’s (y/n), I need help.” You whispered through the phone. “Um… I-i think-”

Before you could even speak, your arm was immediately grabbed by someone which made you drop your phone. You tried to resist from his hold but it only got tighter as you did so. With your free arm, you pinched him with all your might on his side as he shrieked in pain, letting you go. You immediately scrambled on the pavement to retrieve your phone but both of your arms were pulled back, you cried for help which only made him let out a sinister grin.

“That’s right, sweetheart. Cry for help, no one will come and save you.” He replied as he tried to stop you from wriggling in his grasp.

You stopped resisting, already too tired as you let out a sob. Tears rolled down your cheek as you silently prayed for someone to help you. The man whistled, his cronies coming out from hiding as one immediately carried you on his shoulder like a sack of rice. You thrashed around, hitting his shoulder in an attempt for him to put you down.

“Stop moving around, little bitch.” The man growled as he tightened his grip on your thigh as you let out a pained scream.

They stopped in front of a van, opening the back and quickly tied your wrists and feet together. Caressing your cheek then when his hand neared your lips, you bit his hand. Only for you to get slapped across the cheek.

“Bitch, that fucking hurts!” He screamed before crouching to get a roll of duct tape then held your cheek on one hand as he stuck it to your mouth, muffling your cries. “That’s right, be quiet.”

He slammed the door in your face, you tried to move your wrists but the rope only tugged on your skin, making it even more painful. You surveyed around to look for a sharp object but to your luck, there was none in sight. You leaned back, crying as you thought about all the horrible things these men can do.

Your ears perked up when you heard someone from the other side talking, there was another voice talking to them, a voice that seemed much younger and familiar.

“Open the goddamn door or else.” The voice threatened then an eerie silence followed.

You heard a gunshot which made you shut your eyes with a squeal. Light met your face when the door was being opened. You squint your eyes, looking up to see Mark, concern written all over his face as he climbs on board in an attempt to free you.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry-” Mark puts a hand on your cheek but was interrupted when he was being thrown out of the vehicle, landing on the ground with a thud.

Your eyes widened at what happened, your screams muffled by the stupid tape on your mouth.

After that, you heard gunshots and shouts from outside. Your heart pumped rapidly, scared of what is going to happen to Mark then next thing you saw is a younger male with sun kissed skin, breathing heavily.

“Hello (y/n), I don’t think we’ve met but let’s save the introductions for later.” The young stranger said with a small smirk. “But for now, I’ll need to get you out of here.”

He went inside of the van, pulling something from his boot then cutting you free from the ropes tied around your wrist and feet.

“This is going to hurt a lot.” He immediately removed the tape around your mouth.

You hissed at the painful sensation then shot him a narrowed look, “Goddamnit, could’ve you been more gentle? That was fucking painful.”

He rolled his eyes at your response, “Seriously? Not even a thank you? How ungrateful.”

“Thanks.”

Your ‘savior’ helped you out of the van, you saw a sea of red against the pavement with a few more men who were panting, sweat dripping down their cheeks. Your eyes met with Mark then he came running to you, pulling you into a tight hug.

“M-mark?”

“Shh.. It’s alright, (y/n). You don’t have to speak.” He coaxed, rubbing the small of your back as you sobbed on his shoulder, relieved that he was here.

“I-i was so scared-”

The last thing you saw was being placed behind Mark’s back in a protective stance. Peering from his shoulder, you saw a visibly older man in a suit with more companions.

“Stay behind me, (y/n).” He instructed sternly.

“If it isn’t the Jack of all Trades, I’ve been hunting you down for years and now. Finally, finally, I have finally found you!” Seung mocked then looked behind Mark. “Oh? What’s that I see behind you?”

The moment Seung mentioned you, Mark and the others immediately pointed their guns at the person talking in front of them without hesitation. He continues, “Let’s not be too hasty, gentlemen.”

Mark immediately turned to the younger man on his left who was standing beside you. They both nodded at each other, almost like a silent agreement between them, and the last thing you heard were someone pulling the trigger of a gun.

Everything was happening too fast, the young male broke into a sprint, pulling your arm as you also sprinted with him as he occasionally turned behind him to shoot.

“Mark!” You shrieked as you two continued sprinting away from the scene.

“Don’t just stand there, you idiots! Get them!” Heavy footsteps followed you two which made you two sprint faster.

Adrenaline rushing through your veins, your breath was ragged while you forced your legs to catch up with the younger boy.

“Just keep running and don’t look back, I’ll cover for you.” The younger male continued, looking behind you.

Haechan shoots with shaky hands as he tries his best not to loosen his grip on you even by a slightest. You two took shelter on a dark alley, immediately hiding behind the walls as the men chasing you two ran past you. He let out a sigh of relief then tucked his gun in the waistband of his pants.

“Name’s Haechan. You okay there, (y/n)?” He asked as you continued to wheeze, feeling a bit lightheaded from the sudden sprint.

You breathed out, obviously shaken up. “I-i’m scared, Haechan. But what’s happening, who are those men? Why are they running after us? W-what did he just call Mark? I-i’m so confused.”

He fiddled his fingers then sighed. “Those men are just cronies of a resident mafia. They’re after us, but they mostly want Mark hyung.”

“H-hold up, you’re what? How about those people from earlier?” You asked while rubbing your temples then you looked up to him in surprise. “Mark is your what again?”

Haechan’s face contorted into an amused look then he answered. “Take it easy with the questions, but yes, we’re a mafia group and Mark hyung is our leader.”

You two sat on the floor, you hugged your knees as he leans against the wall while occasionally looking out.

“But why was Mark called… what was that again?” You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, trying to take in all the information.

“Jack of all trades. Oh, about that… From what I know, hyung got that alias from his enemies. I don’t blame them, his smartass is too sly and skilled.” He explained. “Don’t tell him I said that or I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Many admire him but many also fear him. Killing him would mean power and glory as he has a huge bounty on his head.”

Your eyes widened in realization, putting everything together. The injuries, the frequent outing, the calls and the way he flinched when you asked him about what he does for a living.

You croaked out a reply, “S-skilled in what?

Haechan hesitated before whispering his answer which startled you more than ever. “Gambling but I think you know what he’s capable of.”

You didn’t know how to feel; you felt scared, anxious and betrayed but you remembered his ‘rough around the edge’ thoughtfulness, stubbornness of not having you change the dressings, the kiss you shared before parting and the necklace.

“The necklace.” You mumbled as your hands clutch on the silver necklace on your neck, the cross sitting just above your chest, glinting all its glory.

Hearing a clicking sound, you crouched behind him while he cocked his gun in his hand while eyeing the wall warily. You heard footsteps then stopped but then the footsteps turned into rhythmic stomping before Haechan came out from the wall, gesturing you to stay put.

Ten minutes have passed since he asked you to stay put and keep quiet. You crawled from your hiding place, “Haechan?”

Peeking from behind the wall, you saw him being tackled on the ground who is obviously in pain then there’s a tackled Mark who kept a straight face but his eyes showed how furious he is.

“Let him go.” Mark grunted while the man cackled at him while motioning his cronie to inflict pain on the boy on the ground.

You covered your mouth in shock, tears threatening to fall down your cheeks then a small sound slipped past your lips. Pressing a hand on your mouth, in an attempt to prevent any sound from slipping again. Unfortunately, it seemed like someone heard your slip and now, you’re being thrown across the ground.

“Look who we have here.” The man’s hand went to your chin, forcing you up and lifting your face for everyone to see as you struggled from his grip. “If it isn’t your precious brat.”

His eyes widened when he looked at you and whispered, “N-no.”

“Such a waste that I’d have to put a bullet in her pretty head.”

Feeling a cold metal press against the side of your forehead, hearing a click which made you gulp from your position.

“What’s all the crack about the Jack of all Trades? I thought you’re more powerful than that, huh? You’re making me laugh, kid! That’s all you got?” He said before letting out an ugly cackle.

Mark looked at you before his lips quirked into a sly smile then returned his gaze to Seung with the same smile, irking the said man as he pressed the gun closer to your temple.

“I’d watch what you’re saying if I were you, Lee Seung.” He said and soon, bullets rained down and Seung’s cronies fell down on the ground immediately.

Seung looked startled when he realized what’s happening. Without missing a beat, he snapped out of his gaze and forced you to stand up with a gun behind your head. “Up on your feet!”

Mark and Haechan pushed the dead bodies, grunting at their weight before chasing after Seung and the captive. Mark pulled out his gun, aiming it at Seung’s direction before pulling the trigger. An ear piercing scream followed, Seung’s pace slowed down as he limped at the hit his leg took. He roughly grabbed the back of your shirt, pushing you forward in a rough manner.

All of you stopped running when you reached a river, everyone was panting heavily while you trembled as felt the gun pressed against your temple while Seung toyed with the trigger which made you even more terrified and anxious at the sounds.

“Come any closer or I won’t hesitate to shoot!” He threatened as he pulled you closer, closing your eyes at what will happen.

Mark raised his gun. “This is between you and I, Seung. Leave her out of this!”

“Or what?”

“Or else, you won’t like what I’ll do next.”

The tension was heavy between the men, it was silent that you can hear their breathing and the sound of the river nearby. The last thing you heard was someone yelling your name and a menacing laughter as you struggled against the river’s current. Your breath gets ragged as you grapple around to get more air, slowly losing your consciousness.

Meanwhile, Mark the man while Haechan immediately jumped into the river before it was too late. He was livid, not sparing mercy to his opponent while he landed blow after blow until he was sitting on top of him, beating him up senselessly.

“I won’t rest until I avenge my brother. I won’t lose!” Seung said weakly at him, reaching out for his neck in an attempt to strangle him.

He tried to pry it off but felt the grip getting tighter while his vision started to get hazy, his left hand snaked under his jacket before letting out a crooked smile.

His fingers held onto four ace cards, mockingly showing it to his opponent whose face showed visible confusion and horror. “I-i won.”

With a swift flick of a finger, the knife hidden underneath the cards came into a view. Without wavering, he made a deep incision on the left part of his neck. Blood started to seep from Seung’s mouth and neck, his hands falling unto his sides lifelessly. Mark stood up, satisfied with what he did and started to walk away from the body.

He’d have to make sure to call Jisung to dispose of this later.

Mark ran up to see Haechan kneeling beside your body. “How’s (y/n)?”

“As you can see, she still hasn’t woken up.” He replied as he gently placed his palm on your forehead, still cold to the touch.

A few moments later, you started coughing up all the water you’ve had before you slowly opened your eyes to look at Mark and Haechan looking back at you in relief.

“D-did I die?” You wheezed which earned a low chuckled from both of them.

“I like her already, can we keep her?” He shot Haechan a look before the said man raised his arm in surrender.

Placing his hand on your cheek and leaning his forehead against yours, ignoring your drench and cold form while he looks at you directly in the eye.

He mumbles as you feel his lips ghosting yours as he speaks. I’m glad you’re alive and safe.”

“I should be the one saying that to you. You’ve saved my life now, Mark.” You responded which elicited a small smile on both of your lips.

Your hands made their way on his jaw before you pulled him into a slow, gentle kiss. Almost forgetting what happened earlier due to the amount of overwhelming feeling of longing and affection you both felt for each other.

“Hyung, I’d appreciate it if you turned your mic off. You do know I can still hear you.” Renjun spoke from the earpiece.

The both of you pulled away, Mark flushed in embarrassment before he argued and jabbed incoherent insults to the person he’s talking to before helping you up on your feet.

Eight people crammed inside the van, it took a while for all of you to get inside as the others had important errands to do before hopping in. They were all interesting and rowdy individuals, even Mark got tired of telling them off. Your eyelids started to droop from fatigue.

“You should sleep, (y/n). It’s a bit of a drive to get back to the base.” Mark said as he adjusted his position so you can lean on his shoulder. “You can lay down on my shoulder.”

You moved a bit before placing your head on the slope of his shoulder. “Better?” He asked which earned a small nod from you.

“I’m good now. Thanks.” You muttered before drifting to sleep as you felt him rub circles on the back of your palm.

Mark tapped your shoulder when you all reached the base, everyone started to pile out while you two waited for your turn as you two sat by the back of the van. Courtesy of Chenle calling shotgun on the front seat where Mark usually sits during their missions.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take you home?” He asked as he helped you get out of the van, closing the door behind.

“With everything that just happened, I might get recurring nightmares.” You admitted, stretching your sore limbs.

Mark lets out a sigh and takes your hand into his, “I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess.”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.” You intertwined your hands with his before giving him a reassuring smile.He looks you in concern before he looks from afar before you two went inside the base, hand in hand.

It was a comforting, the feeling of his palm that radiated warmth despite knowing what it had done to unfortunate enemies that crossed his path and his fingers that slipped into yours. His shoulder occasionally bumps into yours, making you laugh. Maybe, you’ll get accustomed to this, being with him and entering his world.

#mark lee #cznnet #nct mark #nct dream #nct mafia au #nct 127 #mark fluff #mark angst #nct fic

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malebodyinvasion · 4 years

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Another Favor from Him (Alvin's POV)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner.

This is a sequel to Babysitter for A Day.

I suggest reading Another Favor from Him (Ryan's POV) first before proceeding to this one.

Last night I asked Ryan a favor if he and I could swap bodies. I told him I need to pickup an order from a store next city but I have a special meeting tomorrow. That meeting is not really that important so I decided to get the package myself in Ryan's body. I haven't told him that the order was a collector's edition of a vintage vinyl record I am interested as of late. If I told him he may not agree. Forgive me Ryan.

After my opening speech, I swapped our consciousness right away. When I opened my new eyes, I was in front of the dining table having breakfast. As expected, he will get up late. I cannot blame him since he rarely got sleep before his licensure exam.

"This is the second time I'm eating the food I prepared this morning." I told myself. Ryan's voice is really a music to my ear, or rather, his ear.

I stood up to place the plates on the sink. "Woah." I said adjusting to my new balance. Being a few inches shorter and less muscular reminds me of the days I was new to workout.

May be I should take a bath before leaving home? While walking, I noticed that Ryan have no underwear under his tight shorts and his morning wood is caressing between the cloth and his legs. This reminds me of that one time he mentioned that if he kept his morning wood untouched, he will be bothered for the whole day. And I'm starting to feel that. I hope he doesn't mind me dealing with it.

Thinking about it, makes it harder. I have a crush on Ryan and being in his body makes me excited. Ever since I met him, I always keep my cool so he would respect me. I realized my feelings for him after that one time I taught him to dance. I always think how's he doing whenever I'm at work and he's at the campus. I'm so worried about him I joined him every time he take a walk at night. And I'm enjoying it.

I pick some clothes from his closet. Is it just me or he had few pairs of underwear? It's not even enough for a week. Wait... Don't tell me he enjoys going commando?! Not that I'm against it, but the fabric of these shorts I'm currently wearing, or Ryan's body is wearing, is not good for the skin, plus the fact it's fitted in a sensitive area! I'll grab some garments for him after I got my order.

After deciding what to wear, I went to bath. I removed his shirt revealing his quite lean body. As I thought, he's really a twink, or a twunk? Then I removed his tight shorts revealing an enormous member. I can't believe what I'm seeing. The length, the girth, the popping veins -- it's impressive. It's bigger than mine! His balls is the same size as mine and he is younger than me. It makes me wonder how he could manage to hide it from me, err... to keep it unnoticed from the eyes of others. He might be a grower.

I have no time for this. I need to hurry before the store got busy. I groped his member with his left hand and pumped it, as his right hand caressed the soap over his body. The perks of being ambidextrous. I shot the cum towards my current legs and quickly wash everything from there to the feet. Then, I dried myself and wore the clothes I picked.

Since I used my car going to the resort this morning, I rode a bus going to the next city. I'm never this bored, or maybe I'm just always busy with work so I never feel empty. I checked Ryan's phone for games but he doesn't have any. I opened some of his applications and scroll for something interesting -- except I saw those e-books, some are paid and some are pirated. I should have expect that from a former examinee. I tried to take a peek from his diary app but it's password protected. I'm kind of curious. Then, I checked his pictures and I was surprised with how many stolen shots of me he had. Could it be... that it's more than respect? That he likes me too somehow? No, no. I should not jump to weird conclusions. I continuously explored his phone and saw some pictures of us together. I cannot help but smile. I'm going to miss him if ever he leave my unit. Such a nice guy.

Few minutes later, I arrived to my destination. I hurriedly walk towards the store. I almost forgot that I'm not in my body so I presented the manager a sort of authorization letter. While waiting for the manager, I walked around the shop to look for other items that may pick my interest. But at the end, I left the shop with only my order.

"I should look for some clothes," I mumbled. I entered one of the popular clothing boutique and pick some tops and bottoms that may suit Ryan's body. I also grabbed three pairs of underwear for him. I decided to try out some of the clothes to get a better judgment. With his cute and handsome face, any combination of clothes fit his appearance well. I cannot stop myself from getting amazed of his body everytime I removed and put on some of the clothes, and found myself getting hard. I grope his hands over his bulge. No, no. It's not the right time or place. Besides, I'm not supposed to do anything that may result me releasing pleasure.

Furthermore, I took some photos while inside the fitting room. Ryan sure will love it. It gives me an idea to change my current attire to some of the clothes I just bought.

"The weather is great. Maybe I should look around until afternoon. I'm sure Ryan won't mind." I told myself while typing a text message for Ryan. "I hope he had my phone with him."

During my stroll, there was this guy who keeps on checking on me. When I accidentally looked at him in the eye, he gave me a wink and started caressing his pectorals over his tank top. This dude is obviously flirting and trying to get into Ryan's pants. But there's no way in Earth, he could have Ryan. I'm the one in control and I'm sure you’re not Ryan's type.

Suddenly, this dude grabbed my arms and pulled me. Now that his near me, I could say he has the same build as my body with only an inch or two shorter. He looks familiar but I can’t put my finger where I see this guy. I tried to resist and shout for help but there are no other people here and his grip is too strong I can't run away. We entered an isolated public restroom and locked the door.

"I know you want this too," the guy told me in the ear. His voice is kind of sexy and Ryan's penis twitches one after another. He pressed me against a wall and started kissing my borrowed neck. I don't know if I'm enjoying it but I can tell that Ryan's body is getting excited on what is happening. He raised his head and gave Ryan's lip a passionate kiss. My current body is like acting on its own when I answered his tongue with my current tongue. It seems this dude really knows what is he doing. Then he placed his right hand over my hardening wood. He freed my mouth from the kiss. "It’s Kevin. I always want to do this ever since I saw you in the gym.” That’s it! This guy is one of the gym patrons. I rarely see him but it seems he knew Ryan. Do Ryan have a thing for this guy? But I’m sure I am better in looks.

“I think you have mistaken.” I retorted.

“Doubt it. You’re big fellow down here is telling me the opposite.” He answered back as he started unbuckling my pants. He knelt down and pulled it down and he is surprised by how huge Ryan’s bulge is. He is probably as amazed as I am. No, no. it’s not a time for this. I need to get out of here.

But before I could take any action, he quickly stands up and kisses me again. He continuously caressed his hands over my bulge. “Aghhh,” I let out a huge moan. He then removed his tank top revealing his eight-pack abs. My body is more defined but Ryan’s excitement and my currently weak resistance somehow makes things harder for me to fight back. I’m afraid that I’m giving in.

Kevin

I moved my hands over his pectorals and start pinching his nipples. “Oh, that’s great!!” He shouted erotically. “Please lick it, Ryan.” Then I placed Ryan’s lip over his pecs swallowing its entirety. I used my borrowed tongue to play its tip. Then my tongue ventured to the other side doing the same thing, then I followed the curves of his abs. I licked every angle of Kevin’s abdomen. I could smell his sweat and taste the salty skin. Then I level myself for another erotic kiss. We crossed our tongues likes sword clashing. “Suck me, Ryan.”

I followed as what he instructed. I got on my knees and pulled down his shorts. A four-inch pecker appeared, which is quite shorter to what I’m expecting. In size, mine is longer and larger. But it doesn’t matter in this moment, I teased him by swallowing his balls and my hands massaging his rod. I slowly move towards his dick’s tip until suddenly he pushed his entire length inside my mouth, choking me.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized as he quickly pulled it off my mouth. “I got too exci…” Before he could finish, I swallow it back. This is my first time giving someone a blowjob and I’m not even in my own body. I swirled my tongue around his rod. He placed his hands behind my hand. ‘I’ll be gentle.” Then he moved his hips back and forth. It feels great and I’m getting addicted to it. Seconds later, he released hot stream of cum inside my mouth. I have no choice but to swallow them as he pushed his hands harder than before. It’s kind of slimy but the bitter taste got mixed with his sweaty rod, resulting to a weird flavor. He pulled me up for another kiss.

“It’s my turn.” He whispered to my ear. He wildly removed my underwear and I could already see precum on the tip of my borrowed dick. I watched him choke himself trying to devour Ryan’s entire length. He played his tongue around the impressive rod and massages my balls with his hands. This is also my first time getting a blowjob, and possibly Ryan’s too. Losing control, I started pinching my own nipples. I moan louder and louder. His hands moved towards my butt cheeks and pressed it pushing my super hard dick down his throat. I imitated how he moved his hips before. I could feel it… But I can’t! It will lock me and Ryan in each other’s body. He may hate me for it. I tried my best to prevent releasing but Kevin took my dick off his mouth and licked the small hole.

“Aahhhh!” Streams of cum rocketed to his chiseled body as I shout in ecstasy and worry. He then cleaned off my cock by slurping the remains of cum in my rod down to my legs.

“That was hot, Ryan.” He announced as he stood up. When he is about to kiss me again, his phone rang. I cannot hear what they’re talking about properly as I’m still dumbfounded of what I’ve done. I realized my mistake. Ryan would hate and despise me now. He might lose his respect for me.

“I need to go Ryan. My girlfriend is waiting for me. Let’s do this again next time.” Kevin said as he wore his clothes then run off like a fireman.

“Yeah.” It was only my response. This dude just gave me a blowjob and he had a girlfriend. What kind of boyfriend he is?! No, no. That’s not my problem. My problem is how could I explain this Ryan. This is bad. I put my pants back and left the place as fast as I can.

While on the bus way home, I cannot think of a proper explanation. I cannot just tell him, “I got so horny in your body and decided to go with the flow.” Even if it is the reason. I tried searching on the internet for some leeway but what caught my attention is the weather news regarding a storm tonight. My worry heart overcomes my self-loathing, and impulsively dial my phone number. Ryan answered my call.

"I'm so sorry Ryan. I didn't mean to." Wha… what did I just say?! I’m supposed to tell him about the storm. This is bad. I haven’t think off a good explanation.

"Huh, what happened? Did you get into an accident?!" He’s now raising his voice. He might be on a bad mood.

"Sort of..." No…

"Sort of?"

"You see... I cum three times while in your body!" I ended up confessing. But I’m still not ready to tell him about my blowjob with Kevin.

"Eh?!" I knew it. His respect… his trust on me… shattering…

"I'm really sorry, Ryan. I cannot control my urges."

"How did that happen? What happened to your usual cool?!" His voice is getting louder. He’s mad now. He’s probably judging me now.

"Well..." I explained him ‘what’ happened but it’s all lies. I want to save our friendship at least. I tell him the truth once he got home.

"So we're stuck for a day?" Ryan asked. Hearing that with my voice is like a boss disappointed of what just happened. But his voice is quite calm now. Did he buy my lies?

"Seems... like it. I'm so sorry Ryan. I let my horniness got ahead of me." I apologized again… hoping for the best…

"I should apologize as well...” Ryan paused. “Since I also masturbated this afternoon..."

I gasped. Does that mean he touched my penis? Does that mean he caressed my body? Does that mean he likes me too? Or… does that mean he simply enjoy being me? I’m one to talk.

"I know it's not the right time Alvin, but I actually like you.” He continued talking. ‘I appreciate everything you did for me... I tried my best to resist my dirty thoughts but I failed." Is that a confession?

I took a deep breath. "I also... like you Ryan.” I ended up confessing my crush on him. “It's probably one of the reason I ended up trapping us both. But don't worry, it will be automatically undone in a day. Let's talk about our feelings when you got home." I talked calmly so he won’t notice I’m really nervous.

"Then wait for me. I'll dress up now and be on my way. I'll use GPS if I need to..." I could feel his excitement.

"Wait!" I interrupted him. "Stay there."

"But why?"

"It's dangerous. There will be a storm tonight according to the news. The roads there are kind of dangerous when raining."

"You should have said that first."

"Well... I feel like… apologizing first… so you could avoid panicking." I messed things up and I’m actually the one who is having a panic. I let a loud sigh. "But it seems you panic either way. Anyway, stay there for the night."

"Alright, I'll do that."

"Then it's settled. Let's talk again later..." I’m saved for now.

"Wait." Or not. "It's about Michael." Michael is there? I thought he wasn’t going.

Ryan explained everything. I felt unfair to him. He was able to tell me this but I couldn’t. I’m really going to tell him everything when he got home.

"I see... Michael… is always like that." I reacted. "I already turn him down even before I have you living with me, but he never stops." This sounds trouble.

"Do you like him by any chance? A little?" He asked. Oh no! Did he misunderstand my reply?

"As a friend, yes. Why did you ask?"

He then told me that my body twitches whenever Michael is flirting.

"He's my type of… guy… but not exactly him. He reminds me of you. Or in this case, he reminds 'my body' of you." It’s the truth. They share some similarities but I hate Michael’s ego. Ryan, on the other hand, is easier to approach and interact. Michael and I were once roommates but he never listed to what I say even if it’s for our own good. Thinking about it makes Ryan’s dick hard a little. "This is kind of embarrassing... and weird. We're in each other's body and it's like confessing to myself. Ha…Haha…Hahaha." I tried to laugh it off. I think my face is red now.

Then he followed, "Are you sure it's not the other way around?"

"Nope." I responded. "I'm sure." You’re far better than him.

"Thank you, Alvin. Sorry if I doubted you."

"It's fine. I had an idea you would noticed." I’m kind of glad you didn’t notice my lies about the body swap lock.

"So... What should I do about him?"

"Just try to keep your distance from him." If Michael is being flirtatious to that level, it’s kind of dangerous. He might do something unwanted. I can’t do anything for now except hoping for the best.

I wish the storm could pass sooner, I want to see Ryan now and settle everything.

#body swap #body switch #male body swap #male body switch #old to young #young to old

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the-part-time-escapist · 4 years

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Adulting, Lovelife, Career, Just Life

Since my father passed away last September 12, 2018, me, my older sister and my mother were the only ones who have been living together since my other sisters have their own families already. I had to shoulder the responsibility of being the one who provides for the family because my sister has to pay for the mortgage of the new house that we decided to purchase. It is fulfilling to be the ones to fulfill that responsibility. But I got burnt out.

Last December, I was struggling with adulting. I was stressing over my finances. I was hovering with Papa’s absence and how things would have been different if he is still alive.

I was also stressing about relationships. There was one guy who have been eager to pursue me but never did because I did not allow it. I had few reasons on my sleeve. But the main reason was I had trust issues. Only few people knows that I have struggles healing from this issue in my life.

I felt so far away with God as well. I could not feel Him in my life. But my stress brought me back to God and helped me seek him once again.

So..

My family was not perfect. My father had his few mistakes. But he was never honest about them. He was a good father, no doubt. God has given him a lot of chances to change and to be truthful to us esp to my mama by saving him from his heart disease for a number of times. But he never did. We had to confront him and that’s when we lost him. That is when how our family fell apart. We had to move out from my ate’s house where we were staying at that time. I resented my father and had to stay away from them. My single sister was kind enough to go with me because she was worried of me. But my mother stayed with papa even with what had happened.

I would really say that the Lord has his ways and has his own timeline. To forgive is not easy. But God made it sure that we were able to forgive and fix everything before papa passed away. He made sure that we had time to bid our goodbyes to him and say what we wanted to say.

But even though we had fixed it, my trust issues were still haunting me. That is why I could not accept anyone in my life. I was not ready and I was still healing.

My fears were always overwhelming. I never accepted any invites before. But since I wanted to heal and let go of my fears and resentment, I prayed to God to lend me some courage to be able to talk to the guy because I had a lot of things to say. He has been open to what he feels about me but he was inconsistent. He makes me second guess. He was not giving any effort. I felt like I was just a crush thing that he checks up once in a while. I wanted to talk to him because I wanted clarity. My close workmates has been saying that he has been trying to improve his life and career to be worthy of me. But I felt otherwise. He must have done it for himself and not for me. Moreover, I was stressed out by all the teasing. Everytime he is teased to somebody else people expects a reaction from me. But we weren't really in a dating/courting whatnot so I hated it everytime I get dragged into his name

And God was very generous and revealed a lot of things about him. God’s provision is also amazing. I was made aware with his flings which astonishingly showed his immaturity and his level of loyalty and honesty. And with what happened, I found the clarity I was looking for, clarity with what I want in a relationship and clarity with the boundaries I want to set to guard my heart. I also didn’t know God was working the healing of my workmate through me. The guy broke her heart btw. Now, we’re all in the process of healing. Trust issues are very hard. But I am pretty sure, all will be better next time. I am just thankful that I had handled this before I leave the company.

I thank the Lord for saving me from the burn outs I was feeling and for blessing me with something to hustle.

I am also leaving the company I am working now because God had given me an opportunity to work abroad. This was a dream and a goal of mine for quite so long that has just been buried in my heart. God has chosen this time to fulfill this goal.

I have big fears regarding this but I know God planted this desire in my heart and that he has called me to this. I know he will not abandon me in this journey. I know this is His plan because I can feel that this made me closer to him and seek him more. I hope I could glorify God through this. I really wanted to be able to help my relatives and family. I’ve always dreamed of giving them a comfortable life. I can feel in my heart that this is the thing that will be able to give me a sense of fulfillment. I have prayed this when I took the licensure exam in chemical engineering. I wanted to become an engineer so I can provide for them. This is still my anchor why I am taking the opportunity to go abroad. Plus the 8-4 schedule. No more shifting schedules Yey!

All I can say is God is amazing. He works wonders. His plans are always greater and that His timing is always perfect. So trust and always be faithful to him. He never abandons. His love is deeper than the oceans. He moves mountains in our lives if you surrender your life to Him and continue to seek His love.

#Life #Seek #faith #lifelately

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architecturallysentimental · 4 years

Photo

So yeah, if it’s not obvious yet, i have a degree in Architecture. Buuuut it took me a little longer than the usual, to muster up and prepare for this one. My reason for posting up something like this are due to a lot of reasons hahahah

1. I thought it would be cute to like do something like this, just like how you would post pictures for instagram, facebook, etc. but i thought you are reviewing, do you rly have time for shits like this?? ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOT, i dont have that much time for this buuut im doing this anyways and might continue where i left off after the actual board exams.

2. I have this feeling of wanting to start a vlog but i dont actually have enough equipment to do it and i cant think of any topic that might be good for something like vlogging

3. Posting something like this on instagram screams for “ im reviewing for architecture licensure exam HEY YOU GIVE ME SOME ATTENTION” nooope dont want that

4. I dont know, feels like i wanna bring my account back to life by doing something i want, i’ve been on tumblr for over a decade, i swear i started this i guess since 2009? and look i have a work, almost got my shit together, got over a relationship i thought was too good to be true and im still here

---

so yeah, i might save photos that will illustrate how life is, working as an architect designer and reviewing for the board exam, as well. To give you preview my life, which i know is incomparable to other blue collar jobs, JUST GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK! DONT COMPARE EVERYONE. So yeah im cool i just need my coffee fix but i cant have my coffee cause its past 5pm here where i live and taking one would definitely give me an all night so yeah 5 days i work (weekdays) and 2 days for review (whole fucking day of weekends) so yez im alive and dont even think about zombies and compare me/us to them coz the REDUNDANCY

peace out guys!

-Lou

#Architecture #architecture student #philippines #board exam #licensure #manila #pota #omg #adulting

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rtirman-blog · 6 years

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39 The Flatbush Fireball

I was on Long Island early enough to start up my Good Humor route in Glen Head, late that March. This meant that my life at home, rather than being different as I had imagined, was going to be much the same. Perhaps, I will put my thoughts together and come up with a plan for my future. I was grateful Good Humor was there. I made very good money during the ice cream season. Even though I was able to start in late March, people weren’t running for my truck until May. My best income months were May through August. My thinking was to come up with a plan for my future that I could start in September or October.

Again, like the previous summer, nothing spectacular happened on my route throughout that summer. As a Good Humor Man, I saw myself as a top money maker. In reality, I was doing very well, but I probably was in the upper third of the money makers. I suppose in working for Good Humor, I was able to have feelings of self-worth and the ability to make it in this world. By the end of the summer, I decided to look for a job in the City. I could stay with my father and Phyllis while I hunted for a position.

It’s a mystery to me how real estate popped up in my mind. All I know is I was hired by Apostle Reality as a real estate salesman. The office was on Flatbush Avenue, about a block north of the junction of Flatbush and Nostrand Avenues. It was right where the IRT Subway ended. If you needed to go further south in Brooklyn, you could walk, take a taxi, or ride the bus.

In order to sell houses, I studied, took a prep course, and passed the State licensure exam for real estate sales. By taking that prep course, which was sanctioned by the Real Estate Commission, it seemed as though I had previously seen every question on the exam I was given. That was the first time I had ever taken a three-day prep course for anything. I think it worked well for me because by taking the actual exam immediately following the three-day course, everything I learned was fresh in my mind. In high school, I didn’t have to take the SATs. But if I would have taken the SATs, I would have signed up for a prep course, and one that met on days very close to the actual SAT exam.

While preparing for and taking that real estate exam, things with my father and Phyllis were not working out well. They had only one bedroom. Since Daddy arrived home each night close to 1 A.M., I would fall asleep in their bed. Phyllis would wait up for him. When they were ready to hit the hay, they would turn their couch into a bed, and I would then go into the living room to sleep, and they would take their own room. It wasn’t ideal for any of us. I needed to find my own apartment. First, I needed a roommate. When I told my cousin Walter, a.k.a. Butch, about looking for a roommate, he offered himself. You may recall I attended his 12th Birthday celebration when I bedazzled that girl with my Humphry Bogart style kiss during spin the bottle.

Butch was still two years younger than me. He was working at a cardboard box manufacturing plant in Queens. But most important in Butch’s life, was his relationship to God. He was a Billy Graham enthusiast, and a committed Christian. Since we always got along, having him as a roommate would be perfect. We found a third-floor apartment in a house on Kenilworth Pl. The owner, Manny, felt Jesus had brought us to him in our time of need. One thing Manny did insist upon- we were not to have girls in the apartment. That was fine with both of us. It was a great place to live. The apartment was clean and comfortable, close to everything, especially to my work- the walk was five minutes.

At Apostle Realty, I worked diligently at my own desk. At the start, the firm provided me several leads, and I learned how to greatly increase that number by asking for referrals and giving folks my business card. I began showing houses in November. I tried to make myself a busy guy, showing homes to as many folks as I could. Somedays, I would go to homes for sale and talk with owners and other salesmen persons. I sold nothing in November, nothing in December, and nothing in January. I told myself people were busy with the holidays. Since, Apostle gave me a small salary until I actually sold my first home, I needed to keep at it. The real estate commission was 5% of the selling price. Apostle Realty, my broker, got half, and I would get the other half of that commission. Not selling anything for three months, I was getting pretty discouraged. Then came February!

Early in February, I escorted a couple to a home for sale by another broker. The house just came on the market. I knew nothing about it, but we looked at it anyway.

We walked through the house without me saying a word. We stopped in a bedroom. The couple, to whom I was showing the house, started measuring that room. The husband turned to me and told me if this measures right, you’ve sold yourself a house. That’s just what happened. They paid full price for the home, and were ecstatic…and so was I. The seller talked to John Apostle about me and my expertise in showing the home. As I told you, I said nary a word.

My next sale was pretty similar, only, it was closer to our office. The home was a Calder (the builder), and those houses sold quickly. It was if I had the golden ticket. The people, to whom I showed it, bought it instantly. Keeping my mouth shut seemed like a great technique. I always made sure I knew what people wanted, and I chose homes that were as close to what they desired.

In mid-February, I was a co-seller with a salesperson who showed me, and my clients, a house in Bensonhurst, a Brooklyn neighborhood west of Flatbush. Naturally, I had to share that commission with the other salesman.

Then came the Delellis family from the Bronx. They were delightful people whom I had met before. They had a reputation of being lookers, but they would never buy. Just about every salesperson on Flatbush Avenue had shown houses to the Delellis family. But something was happening to my luck. I was rolling 7’s throughout February. My luck meshed with Mr. Delellis’s bad luck. He and his family were being forced to move, through no fault of their own, and had to find another home. They called me to see if there was a home for sale near the subway. I just happened to view a home, right on Flatbush Avenue, two or three doorways from the subway stairs. Mr. and Mrs. Delellis hustled down to Brooklyn to meet me. I made arrangements to show them the house as soon as they arrived. As soon as we walked into the house, the two of them were excited. The house was perfect for their needs, close to the subway, and for sale at a very reasonable price.

The word got around that I sold four houses in February, and most impressively, I did the impossible- I sold a home to the Delellis family. I was soon known throughout Brooklyn realty offices as “The Flatbush Fireball!” Hey, you need to buy a home? You need to sell a home? Go see “Da Flatbush Fireball”!

Truly, I was on fire. But if you stay at a craps table long enough, things will, eventually, go in the other direction. The owners of gambling casinos don’t have craps tables in their casinos to lose money!

One evening, when I arrived home, Butch was having sex with a gal. Mr. Christian was now Mr. Sinner. Whoa! I take that back. He was now Mr. Mortal Sinner…he was banging her in my bed! You would think he would have been kind enough to do it in his own bed. Making matters worse, somehow, Manny was aware of his devilish deed, and asked us to find another place.

Butch went back home, and I went back to my father’s apartment until I could find another place to live. The second thing occurred as I was sitting at my desk trying to figure things out. Sitting next to me was an older guy, perhaps in his fifties, who looked at me and told me that real estate wasn’t for me. He told me real estate was for older folks. He wanted me to seriously think about returning to school, finishing my degree, and doing something with my life. His name was Bill, and I sensed that these remarks came from his heart. I think Bill saw me as his son or grandson. I really did look up to him. I wish I had thanked him and told him that I heard him, clearly. His words had an impact, and they made me question and evaluate what I was doing with my life. It was good money when I sold a home. However, there are many months real estate salesmen make nothing, yet they put in impossible hours. If I ever was going to get married and be a dad, that kind of job wouldn’t be so great. Bill was probably right.

It was already March, and I could go back to Point Lookout, and to Good Humor, for the summer. I was leaning toward finishing college, but I wasn’t set on it. Furthermore, would Notre Dame even think about taking me back, or would I have to transfer to another school? Also, what would I study? So back to Long Island I went. Back to Good Humor, where the money was good, and the work was steady.

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kristinsimmons · 5 years

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What’s on USMLE Step 1?

By BRYAN CARMODY

Recently, I was on The Accad and Koka Report to share my opinions on USMLE Step 1 scoring policy. (If you’re interested, you can listen to the episode on the show website or iTunes.)

Most of the topics we discussed were ones I’ve already dissected on this site. But there was an interesting moment in the show, right around the 37:30 mark, that raises an important point that is worthy of further analysis.

ANISH: There’s also the fact that nobody is twisting the arms of program directors to use [USMLE Step 1] scores, correct? Even in an era when you had clinical grades reported, there’s still seems to be value that PDs attach to these scores. . . There’s no regulatory agency that’s forcing PDs to do that. So if PDs want to use, you know, a number on a test to determine who should best make up their class, why are you against that?

BRYAN: I’m not necessarily against that if you make that as a reasoned decision. I would challenge a few things about it, though. I guess the first question is, what do you think is on USMLE Step 1 that is meaningful?

ANISH: Well – um – yeah…

BRYAN: What do you think is on that test that makes it a meaningful metric?

ANISH: I – I don’t- I don’t think that – I don’t know that memorizing… I don’t even remember what was on the USMLE. Was the Krebs Cycle on the USMLE Step 1?

I highlight this snippet not to pick on Anish – who was a gracious host, and despite our back-and-forth on Twitter, we actually agreed much more than we disagreed. And as a practicing clinician who is 15 years removed from the exam, I’m not surprised in the least that he doesn’t recall exactly what was on the test.

I highlight this exchange because it illuminates one of the central truths in the #USMLEPassFail debate, and that is this:

Physicians who took Step 1 more than 5 years ago honestly don’t have a clue about what is tested on the exam.

That’s not because the content has changed. It’s because the memories of minutiae fade over time, leaving behind the false memory of a test that was more useful than it really was.

I’m speaking from experience here.

CONFESSIONS OF A FORMER STEP 1 APOLOGIST

Believe it or not, I was once a USMLE apologist. If you’d asked me my opinion of Step 1 a few years ago, I would have said “Yeah, it’s not the best, but it’s the best we’ve got…” and parroted back many of the same arguments for a scored test that are still bandied about today.

My opinion started to change a few years ago when I started teaching some courses for our first- and second-year medical students. I wanted to be sure that the concepts and terminology I used were consistent with what they needed to know for the USMLE, so I reviewed a whole bunch of Step 1 questions using the NBME’s Computerized Assessment System (CAS).

As I answered question after question, three broad categories of questions emerged.

CORE SCIENTIFIC CONCEPTS: Many questions I knew cold. These questions tested key aspects of physiology, pharmacology, or pathology that I use frequently to take care of patients.

A LITTLE OFF THE BEATEN PATH: Another group of questions were more challenging. They asked about basic science concepts with only peripheral relevance to the practice of nephrology. Some of these I got right; some I got wrong. Most stirred up a dormant memory of facts that I might have known during my own Step 1 studying.

BASIC SCIENCE TRIVIA: A final group of questions were completely foreign. Not only did I not know them, but I had no memory of there ever being a time in my life when I would have known them. For these, it was hard to even conceive of how such information could be clinically useful.

I’d like to share examples of these questions to you. However, to gain access to CAS, I signed a blood oath confidentiality agreement with the NBME that I would not disclose the questions within, and I am going to honor that.

However… the USMLE does provide some real USMLE Step 1 sample questions to the general public. I reviewed just the first block (questions 1-40) and highlighted some of the best below.

SAMPLE QUESTION 1

You might think that the makers of a mandatory medical licensing examination would be interested in determining whether doctors-to-be knew how to keep this poor guy from dying in the first place. Nah. For Step 1, let’s just figure out who knows how this cell got here.

(The correct answer, in case you were wondering, is B.)

SAMPLE QUESTION 2

What I love about this question is the way it lures you in with a totally-believable clinical vignette. Is it a question about burn care? Infection prevention? Indications for debridement? Nope. Hope you memorized your cytokines! If not, the correct answer is E.

SAMPLE QUESTION 3

Whoa. Not to be outdone by Sample Question 2, this question makes multiple head-fakes toward clinically relevant medical decision-making that might benefit a human being… before ending with cellular signaling pathways.

Look, I actually evaluate children suspected to have diabetes insipidus. Never once has it occurred to me to look up this factoid (much less carry it around in my head). But in case your diagnostic algorithm differs from my own, the correct answer is A.

SAMPLE QUESTION 4

Are you sensing a theme here?

As usual, the question stem starts off strong with a vignette on a clinically-relevant entity (RSV bronchiolitis), before diverting into Virology Jeopardy. Is it really the case that all doctors must know, as a condition of licensure, that RSV has a linear, negative-sense RNA genome?

Sigh.

I hopefully guessed answer choice E, thinking that perhaps the USMLE was trying to test a clinically-useful point which I had been heretofore unaware. They weren’t. The correct answer is D.

SAMPLE QUESTION 5

I have to at least applaud this question for its lack of pretense. No clinical foreplay at all. It gets straight into the basic science.

And in case it’s been a while since you walked into clinic and did a Southern blot on the digestion products of your patient’s cerebellum and pancreas, the correct answer is C.

HOW’D YOU DO?

Anybody go 5 for 5?

Let me save you a little time on your angry e-mails and address some of the inevitable objections to this little exercise.

YOU CHERRY-PICKED THOSE QUESTIONS.

Yes, I did. But bear in mind, these cherries were plucked from a 40 question block – so these 5 represent 12.5% of the total. (Plus, these are the exemplary questions that the NBME has chosen to release on the sample test. The questions I reviewed on CAS verged even farther into the realm of the obscure.)

And bear in mind, as Step 1 scores climb higher and higher, the questions that are used to discriminate between candidates at the upper end become more and more obscure. Knowing the answers to these kinds of questions may be the difference between a student being able to pursue a career in, say, orthopedic surgery – or not.

So students will study more and more to memorize facts that are less and less useful. And as this process repeats iteratively over residency application cycles, things will get worse and worse – until we demand that something be done about it.

THOSE AREN’T BAD QUESTIONS. I GOT THEM ALL RIGHT.

Cool. Actually, I got two of them right. But that doesn’t keep me from appreciating that the concepts being tested are almost certainly unnecessary for the safe and effective practice of medicine.

THIS MATERIAL ISN’T IRRELEVANT! WHY, JUST YESTERDAY I PRESCRIBED A VEGF INHIBITOR TO A PATIENT IN MY CLINIC.

So why not test the indications for using VEGF inhibitors, or their side effects? Just because the answer to some of these questions relates to something that’s useful doesn’t mean that they’re good questions.

THOSE QUESTIONS AREN’T IRRELEVANT FOR ALL PHYSICIANS. WHAT ABOUT THOSE WHO PURSUE CAREERS IN RESEARCH? SOUTHERN BLOTTING IS QUITE USEFUL!

Let me be clear – none of what I am pointing out here is intended to denigrate basic science or basic scientists. For those of you who work in research, hats off to you. Honestly. But I would put it to you that even those who have made it their life’s mission to understand the Janus kinase weren’t inspired to do so through their Step 1 preparation.

Here’s the thing: the USMLE Step 1 is a licensing examination. Medical licensure exists to protect the public.

And it’s very for me difficult to conceive of a situation in which a patient could be harmed by a physician’s inability to answer any of those questions above. (It’s even more difficult to try to imagine a case in which a patient would benefit by receiving care from a clinician armed with these nuggets of trivia.)

WE DON’T USE STEP 1 SCORES BECAUSE OF THE KNOWLEDGE IT TESTS. WE USE SCORES BECAUSE IT SHOWS US WHAT CANDIDATES HAVE THE BEST WORK ETHIC, TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS, DETERMINATION, GRIT, ETC.

Then could we not measure those things while engaging students in an endeavor that actually leads to them being a better physician? If it’s really true that the content is irrelevant, why not just ask students to memorize digits of pi?

THE BOTTOM LINE

The “save the scored USMLE” coalition is a varied one.

There are students who perceive that they benefit from a scored test, or who would rather compete with their Step 1 score than by some other metric. There are graduates who worked their butts off to get a high score and have benefitted from it – and they view an attack on Step 1 scores as an attack on their own intelligence or work ethic. There are (cough cough) certain organizations who have a vested financial interest in maintaining a scored test. And there are well-meaning faculty and program directors who aren’t sold on Step 1, but buy into the NBME’s messaging about how anything that could possibly replace Step 1 will be worse.

Some of those objections I get; some, not so much.

If you support maintaining scored test, all I ask is this: know what you’re fighting for. Don’t rely on your own remote experience with Step 1 inform your knowledge about what’s being measured by the Step 1 score.

Dr. Carmody is a pediatric nephrologist and medical educator at Eastern Virginia Medical School. This post originally appeared on The Sheriff of Sodium here.

What’s on USMLE Step 1? published first on https://wittooth.tumblr.com/

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lauramalchowblog · 5 years

Text

What’s on USMLE Step 1?

By BRYAN CARMODY

Recently, I was on The Accad and Koka Report to share my opinions on USMLE Step 1 scoring policy. (If you’re interested, you can listen to the episode on the show website or iTunes.)

ANISH: Well – um – yeah…

BRYAN: What do you think is on that test that makes it a meaningful metric?

ANISH: I – I don’t- I don’t think that – I don’t know that memorizing… I don’t even remember what was on the USMLE. Was the Krebs Cycle on the USMLE Step 1?

I highlight this exchange because it illuminates one of the central truths in the #USMLEPassFail debate, and that is this:

Physicians who took Step 1 more than 5 years ago honestly don’t have a clue about what is tested on the exam.

That’s not because the content has changed. It’s because the memories of minutiae fade over time, leaving behind the false memory of a test that was more useful than it really was.

I’m speaking from experience here.

CONFESSIONS OF A FORMER STEP 1 APOLOGIST

As I answered question after question, three broad categories of questions emerged.

CORE SCIENTIFIC CONCEPTS: Many questions I knew cold. These questions tested key aspects of physiology, pharmacology, or pathology that I use frequently to take care of patients.

However… the USMLE does provide some real USMLE Step 1 sample questions to the general public. I reviewed just the first block (questions 1-40) and highlighted some of the best below.

SAMPLE QUESTION 1

(The correct answer, in case you were wondering, is B.)

SAMPLE QUESTION 2

SAMPLE QUESTION 3

SAMPLE QUESTION 4

Are you sensing a theme here?

Sigh.

I hopefully guessed answer choice E, thinking that perhaps the USMLE was trying to test a clinically-useful point which I had been heretofore unaware. They weren’t. The correct answer is D.

SAMPLE QUESTION 5

I have to at least applaud this question for its lack of pretense. No clinical foreplay at all. It gets straight into the basic science.

And in case it’s been a while since you walked into clinic and did a Southern blot on the digestion products of your patient’s cerebellum and pancreas, the correct answer is C.

HOW’D YOU DO?

Anybody go 5 for 5?

Let me save you a little time on your angry e-mails and address some of the inevitable objections to this little exercise.

YOU CHERRY-PICKED THOSE QUESTIONS.

THOSE AREN’T BAD QUESTIONS. I GOT THEM ALL RIGHT.

Cool. Actually, I got two of them right. But that doesn’t keep me from appreciating that the concepts being tested are almost certainly unnecessary for the safe and effective practice of medicine.

THIS MATERIAL ISN’T IRRELEVANT! WHY, JUST YESTERDAY I PRESCRIBED A VEGF INHIBITOR TO A PATIENT IN MY CLINIC.

THOSE QUESTIONS AREN’T IRRELEVANT FOR ALL PHYSICIANS. WHAT ABOUT THOSE WHO PURSUE CAREERS IN RESEARCH? SOUTHERN BLOTTING IS QUITE USEFUL!

Here’s the thing: the USMLE Step 1 is a licensing examination. Medical licensure exists to protect the public.

WE DON’T USE STEP 1 SCORES BECAUSE OF THE KNOWLEDGE IT TESTS. WE USE SCORES BECAUSE IT SHOWS US WHAT CANDIDATES HAVE THE BEST WORK ETHIC, TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS, DETERMINATION, GRIT, ETC.

THE BOTTOM LINE

The “save the scored USMLE” coalition is a varied one.

Some of those objections I get; some, not so much.

Dr. Carmody is a pediatric nephrologist and medical educator at Eastern Virginia Medical School. This post originally appeared on The Sheriff of Sodium here.

What’s on USMLE Step 1? published first on https://venabeahan.tumblr.com

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meghernandez · 7 years

Text

5 Tips in Pursuing Your Medical Career

It’s official, I’m off the hook of the chains of acads! I’m getting my BS Human Biology degree this July 7 and I’m already enrolled in a well-established medical school, Far Eastern University- NRMF.

Just a little background: I got 64 on my first NMAT and 82 on the second one. I passed a good amount of medical schools, I’m not going to deny that. I passed the NMAT cut-off score of UERM, CEU, HSI, and more. But why did I chose FEU-NRMF? Its because I think that I’ll be a competent doctor. They are well-known for their consistency in the top medical schools in terms of Physician Licensure Exams for so many years already. Although, I wish I grabbed a slot on UERM, and I also wish that FEU-NRMF would have the state of the art facilities of DLS-HSI. Nonetheless, I think I’m in the right path. I’m so glad my parents support my dreams of becoming a medical doctor, I know it’ll be a really long ride but I know that everything will be worth it in the end. I love what I’m doing, I love to study, and I love to become a part of something greater, part of my patients’ lives. Anyway, enough about me!

I think I’m experienced enough to give out some tips if you’re really passionate about pursuing the MD at the end of your name. Here are 5 tips:

1. Confront yourself and your parents about going to med school.

Thus, after 4 years in premed and as an incoming med school freshman, these are the things that you’ve really got to invest in:

First, you MUST be mentally and emotionally ready. There are a lot of things that you have to sacrifice as you pursue med. Prioritizing your med career is crucial– it’s got to be above everything else. I know, its not all about the brains in med, but it is one of the main ingredient. So if you think you’re not smart enough, please please don’t let that stop you. All you need to consistency to work and study hard and be open to knowledge that might save people in the future. I repeat, becoming a doctor does not happen through dreaming, you’d have to work your asses off just to wear that white coat.

Second, tell your parents about this ambition of yours. They should also be ready and supportive about this. My tuition fee this incoming acad year costs about 260,000 pesos, excluding the books, place I’d live in, allowance, and uniforms. And it will increase as the years go by, especially in the 3rd and 4th years. I’m not here to discourage anyone. I’m just going to say the unspeakable truth which is: Doctors are made out of knowledge and money. BUT scholarships are open to people who deserves them, so work *clap*, work *clap* , work *clap* HARD.

Lastly, plan your future ahead of you. Really. Don’t be a happy-go-lucky, life doesn’t work that easily.

Becoming a doctor does not only mean that you want to be one, you also have to be aware on how driven you are. I’ve met a lot of people in my premed, and I don’t think that dreaming that you want to become a doctor is good enough. They use their laziness as an excuse that they didn’t study for quizzes, but they kept on saying that they want to become a doctor. Is that right? Dreams are not made out of words, its founded and built on great efforts.

2. Think about the med school you want to be in and then try to start from there.

One of the things I regret the most is not choosing a school with a med school. If I could redo everything again, I’d stop caring if I can be called a La Sallian or not, I’d focus on how my premed can act as a jumpstart to my future med school. I wish I took my premed course in UE, or UST, or anywhere that has a good medical school reputation. Thus, I don’t want to this to happen to you guys. Here are a list of schools (in Manila) that prioritizes their alumni students.

University of the East with UERMMMC located in Sta. Mesa. One of the best med schools in the Philippines. If you’re a foreigner, I’d recommend going to this medical school. I would go to this school if I only passed my applications ahead of time *cries*.

Far Eastern University with FEU-NRMF located in Fairview. Also one of the best with a consistent high rate of passers. Although, its a blood bath in this school because you really have to fight for your position to stay.

De La Salle University- Dasmarinas with De La Salle - Health Sciences Institute. Amazing med school in terms of facilities. The technology is up-to-date, the library is a sanctuary where you can sleep, and of course the only green med school in the PH. One of my choices!

These are the only med schools that I’ve researched about and highly recommend these schools if you’re going to pursue med. Another thing you should consider is applying to their premed courses, UERMMMC, FEU-NRMF, and DLS-HSI offer premed courses.

3. Consider the pre-medical courses you’re going to take*.

I recommend taking courses with licensure exams because some med schools offer scholarships to those passers that belongs to the top 10, I’m not sure but what I’m confident about is FEU-NRMF offering scholarships depending on your placement on the boards.

Would I recommend BS Biology as a premed course? Maybe, because you’d have a strong foundation in terms of theoretical knowledge. Maybe not, because you’d have literally ZERO experience in terms of clinical practice and whatnot. If i were you, choose BS Med Tech or Nursing grad because you’re going to have the basic skills and knowledge that a doctor should have even before entering med school.

*especially if you’re half-hearted about going to med school.

4. NMAT dictates everything (and your GPA)

The National Medical Admission Test, the only thing that stopped me from really achieving my goal which is to study in St. Luke’s Medical Center (that has an NMAT cut-off of 90, just 22 points short from my score huhu). Study hard for NMAT, this is no joke. It will literally chose what options you’ll have for med. 40 is the passing NMAT score and 99+ is the highest. Check out this blog (Melatonen: First Phase) post for more info for your NMAT score goal.

I applied to an NMAT review school over the summer of last year, and I think its effective. But you can study on your own, but having your own learning materials is hard. Try enrolling at Learnfast Review Center! They’d teach you the techniques and basics to 99+ (even though I didn’t get that score haha)

NMAT score is not the only thing that you should consider when applying to a good medical school. Some requires a GPA cut-off as well, and some do not tolerate failing marks. So, I’m going to repeat, work your asses off in premed! It’s necessary!

5. Your time management skills should be like a masterchef contestant

(I’m watching MasterChef S7 right now, sorry for the irrelevant pun hahaha)

I think I knew the secrets to managing your time well despite the mountain-pile amount of things to do. One of them is knowing what to prioritize first. In med school, I’m sure that this would give you the advantage. And I surely hope that this skill of mine would do me good. My friends always ask me how can I balance everything? Going on dates, watching series, reading books, and studying my brain out. I think the key is being driven on finishing your tasks ahead of time. Try reading this old post of mine: Surviving college: tips and hacks.

** Last tip: Never ever give up on your med dreams and yourself. You may encounter a lot of failures in premed but don’t let that become an obstruction into seeing yourself in that white lab coat and an MD at the end of your name. Its going to be a helluva tough ride but all you’ve got to do is try your best to become that person that you’ve always want to become. There are no shortcuts in med (unless you’re taking an intarmed in UP or Med Bio in DLSUD), you’ve got to climb each step of the stairs until you reach the top.

***Cheers to a new tag in my blog which is “medschool101″

#tips #medschool101

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coffee-and-highlighters-blog · 7 years

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Update!

Hi guys! i just want to update you about what I’ve been up to for the past months and days. I forgot when or what I was working on during my last update but here’s the complete details:

I graduated Bachelor of Science in Pharmacy last October 2016. Immediately went to a review center for almost 2 months. Had our self-review for another 2 months. We had 3 mock board exams and they based there whether we are ready to take the boards and luckily, I made it. This March 9 & 10, I took the exam. And this March 14, the results were out and guess what... I PASSED THE PHARMACY LICENSURE EXAMS! I am now a Registered Pharmacist! To God be all the glory!

I really can’t explain how thankful and happy I am. Studyblr is one of the community that relied on and helped me on my journey in college. And sharing this news with you guys is really one of the things I look forward to. Sending my good lucks to each and everyone of you. I pray that you will all achieve your dreams with flying colors.

#update

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angeliquemd · 7 years

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The Sunday Currently

(posting this a day late 'cause I got home pretty late last night and didn't have the energy to post) Hi guys! Been a while since I made an entry for this segment. I was lucky to have a Sunday off today and I spent it in the province with my family :) My mom treated us to lunch and it was delightful in every way, thank you very much. Reading: The Raven King by Maggie Stievfater. The last installment of the Raven Cycle series. If you browse through my book reviews, you'll see I made a review about the series and yes, it took me this long to finally man up and grab a copy. I knew it would be a big emotional assault and I knew I wouldn't ever be ready to face the ending (haha) so I put reading it on hold for the longest time. A review will be up soon, with a character aesthetic of Gansey, my favorite Raven boy ❤️ Writing: An entry for my bullet planner. Listening: to The Postal Service, a band really close to my heart. Thinking: about future plans. I'm 3 months shy from finishing my post-graduate internship, and 5 months away from the physicians' licensure exam. I dunno what I want to do next. I want to take a breather, but at the same time, I want to get residency done and over with. The problem is, I don't even know what I want to take up. I just finished my OB rotation and surprisingly it has appealed SO MUCH to me. Even my residents told me they'll wait for my application for pre residency, even going as far as saying they'll accept me when I apply. Haha. Smelling: That fake breeze coming out from the air conditioner. It's been getting really hot lately, yeah? Wishing: for a quiet duty day/night tomorrow. Hoping: to find clarity in all these plans of mine. I feel like I'm stuck in a crossroads - between fulfilling my youthful dreams (AKA traveling, climbing mountains, learning cultures, jumping from waterfalls, among other things) and facing the adult world and be a doctor. Wearing: Black cardigan, striped sleeveless top, loose black bottoms. Loving: the community rotation of I'm currently in right now. It would be the perfect post to be in if only we didn't have to do 24 hour duties every 3 days :( Wanting:To have the discipline and energy and time to focus on fitness! I need to lose these belly fat and contour my back muscles and trim down my legs. Haha. Needing: To go on a retail therapy. I haven't gone shopping in a long while and I'm now itching. Feeling: Hungry. In total contradiction to my fitness dreams. Clicking: on YouTube videos, watching clothing/make up hauls HAHA Have a great week ahead!

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ayz8yf9q-blog · 5 years

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