#I hope your day will improve V !!!!! manifesting better days for the both of us

[shihalyfie]

The Kaiser wasn’t very good at being a villain (and that’s the point, actually)

Ken’s journey of redemption is generally well-documented overall, and it was explicit enough in the series that there’s only so much you really need to explain it, but due to the blurred boundary of what was supernatural influence from the Dark Seed and what was Ken’s own emotional problems wreaking havoc, it’s somewhat more difficult to bridge that gap between the Kaiser and Ken, and how they can be the same person.

The easiest way to understand it comes from both directions. One is that Ken, even in his normal element, is much more assertive than he’s often given credit for -- it’s just that the Kaiser is a (fragile) manifestation of that very carefully cultivated to channel that in all of the wrong directions. The other has to do with the fact that the Kaiser is actually really terrible at being a villain, and the persona itself is very fragile and difficult for him to maintain.

Rewatching the first half of 02 shows multiple indications that, for all he seemed to be the stereotype “evil genius”, Ken was forcing himself into the mold. He was never cut out for it from day one. Even from the beginning, Ken’s actual nature as a lonely and inherently kind eleven-year-old child was tearing apart at the Kaiser persona, and the fateful episode 21 was not so much a single turning point for him as much as it was the last straw in a series of things tumbling down for him.

Before we continue: While all of the meta on this blog is only possible thanks to support and input from a handful of friends (whose names will not be disclosed on account of privacy requests), this one in particular arose from a long and extensive discussion with said friends that I am extremely grateful for. As always, I hope I was able to convey your points well.

Well, firstly, it’s important to understand that, much like nearly any other character in this series, Ken’s surface demeanor is a bit deceptive. The Crest of Kindness has the original Japanese name of yasashisa (優しさ), which has a secondary meaning of “gentleness” (lost in translation, but still apparent with the bubble metaphor in 02 episode 23). That also ties into the secondary meaning of “kind” -- it’s not just about being naturally “soft”, but actively choosing to be gentle with others even when you’re theoretically capable of not doing so. (For those of you who have seen Appmon, the entire point of that series was about what it means to consciously and deliberately choose to be kind, and, in fact, quite a few parallels could be made between Ken and Haru...)

The contrast between Daisuke and Ken goes far beyond just the surface. Daisuke’s surface demeanor is abrasive, but he’s not actually very good at being assertive until push comes to shove, and he otherwise tends to bend easily to others or get overwhelmed; in contrast, Ken has a more polite demeanor and for the most part seems non-confrontational, but has much stronger control of his emotions and is more easily able to be assertive than Daisuke is. (Of course, both of them share the common point of being like-minded when it’s something that really matters, but Ken is much better at imposing his will and getting what he wants done before Daisuke ever gets to that point, which is what fuels the whole punchline of Daisuke and Ken’s Shopping Carol.)

So, the point is: Daisuke is kind out of instinct and just “naturally” being so, but Ken is kind because he consciously believes in treating others well and not causing conflict, and not causing pain to others.

That’s not to say that Ken’s behavior is out of suppression or anything! It’s not a case like Takeru, who’s trying to push complicated emotions down while pretending they’re not boiling under the surface, nor is he like Hikari, who’s compulsively pressing her emotions down out of a desire not to burden others. Rather, even as early as 02 episode 26, he’s very straightforward about what his issue is and what he thinks about it. Ken’s “shyness” during the latter half of 02 is largely due to shame and hesitation from not knowing the other 02 kids well, but as the series goes on and as we go into post-02 material, he indicates that he’s perfectly wiling to be vocal about what he thinks without necessarily fighting any compulsion to suppress it. For someone who claims he doesn’t know much about his own heart, he arguably seems to have the best grip on understanding himself compared to a lot of this cast!

So in essence, the main take-home here is that Ken is theoretically capable of being strong-willed and assertive, and is very good at choosing when he wants to be assertive and when he wants to hold back. And he likes seeing people get along, and he wants everyone to be happy, and he doesn’t like seeing people be hurt or hurting others, and under normal circumstances, Ken has very good control of his emotions for the most part and quite a lot of self-awareness. That’s why Ken is the one to get the unique designation of this Crest; everyone in this cast can be said to be generous and supportive of others in some form, but there’s a difference between being a “natural” doormat who defers to others by default (Daisuke being a very good indicator of how this kind of mentality has a flip side of lack of self-esteem and high insecurity, and Tamers’s Takato being a good indication of how “being deferential” doesn’t necessarily preclude you from having tendencies towards selfishness or cowardice), versus choosing to be kind by understanding everything and still being gentle out of a belief that it’s the right thing to do (again: see Shinkai Haru). And it’s why Wormmon says in the 02 episode 23 flashback that Ken’s kindness can be used against him; being “kind” in this way requires a lot of mental fortitude, strength, and guts, all of which are things that could easily be very bad things when applied in the wrong direction.

This means that all the Dark Seed really needed to do in order to turn him into the Kaiser...was make him lose grip on that self-control.

Actually, Ken says it himself in less-than-subtle words in Spring 2003:

…It was revenge. But who was this revenge against? Did I want to triumph over the ones who made fun of me? The ones who looked down on me and used me? But… In the end, it was revenge against myself. I couldn’t do anything but deny the kind of human being that I was.

So in other words, the Kaiser persona was, effectively, a self-loathing eleven-year-old boy throwing a massive tantrum. A lot of the Kaiser’s actions in the first half of 02 are honestly rather petty -- he’s basically upset at the kids spoiling his holiday in 02 episode 6, he attempts torturing Daisuke out of a petty grudge over a soccer sliding tackle in 02 episode 8, and everything to do with expanding his territory and eventually (hopefully?) becoming ruler of the Digital World is frankly very sloppy. For all he’s said to be a genius, his genius only seems to extend to book smarts, and his “tactical planning abilities” never really expand beyond that of a soccer field sort of affair; his way of locking down control on other things is basically just “brainwash it harder” or “whip it harder” and applying harder brute force instead of doing something in the long-term like, say, trying to rule with charisma and recruiting allies.

(Again, bringing Appmon back into this, seeing Cloud in action will give you a much better example of a charismatic human villain who’s actually competent at his job. Or, heck, you can even look back at Savers’s Kurata, who at least was savvy enough to pull strings with people in powerful positions. Or even the Kaiser’s predecessor Saiba Neo from V-Tamer, who may have been openly sadistic but still had the sense to align himself with background power. Really, compared to all of these folks, the Kaiser is downright pathetic.)

Remembering that Ken fell into the Kaiser persona partially as a desperate attempt to become a “perfect person” like Osamu, Ken “imitated” Osamu’s cruelty to him because he felt that was how he could improve himself to become a “strong” person better than him. But the irony here is that Osamu’s “cruelty” was something that he himself never liked, and mainly came from lashing out at Ken due to feeling like he had a lack of control over his own life. So Osamu was never happy in that position, and Ken, who is indirectly pointed out via the bubble metaphor to be even more fundamentally inclined towards gentleness, is probably even more miserable.

Because everything Ken does as the Kaiser is “unfocused lashing out at everyone”, the Kaiser has less control over his emotions than Ken normally would. Takeru manages to emotionally pin him to a corner by confronting him with enough assertion in 02 episode 19 (this is before he punches him), and correctly points out that the Kaiser isn’t capable of winning with words (i.e. ideologically) and resorts to violence as the first thing he can think of. You’d think that if the Kaiser were actually someone with the self-confidence to consider the other Chosen Children beneath him, he wouldn’t even bother giving them the time of day, but Takeru just happening to be a little assertive is enough to make him lose his composure and start falling apart, and a lot of his shaken “insects!” yelling comes from him seeming pretty desperate to cling onto that rather than being all that confident about his natural superiority over anyone. 02 episode 20 establishes that he’s getting himself in over his head by tampering with the powers of darkness he can’t control, and while, on a plot level, it means that he’s misjudged his own capabilities, on a metaphorical level, it corresponds to the fact that even Ken himself is incapable of getting himself out of the emotional abyss he’s in.

And on the flip side, one of the biggest “tells” that Ken is still miserable during all of this is 02 episode 9, where he’s seen ruminating on the “glory” he’s getting in the real world despite having just decided to leave it all behind. The episode prior, after all, had been called “The Digimon Kaiser’s Loneliness”. The media is using him like some kind of “hot topic”, his parents’ affection (in his mind) is shallow and based only on his achievements, and he has no friends (how much of a role Akiyama Ryou played in his childhood is unclear, but either way, he’s no longer around now). With no emotional support coming from any direction in the real world, he’s resorting to at least trying to have some “fun” in what he perceives to be a “game”, and yet he’s still not having fun at all.

If you look carefully at a lot of the Kaiser’s actions during the first half of the series, one thing you’ll notice is that there are multiple indications that he’s not quite up to par to being as sadistic as you’d think he’d be. Recalling that we learn in 02 episodes 20-21 that the Kaiser is under the impression that the Digital World is like a game that he can “reset” and the Digimon in it not real living beings, it has interesting implications of the fact that he’s actually very hesitant to physically harm other human beings -- he certainly likes emotionally toying with them, but even when he’s trying to take petty revenge on Daisuke in 02 episode 8, he goes out of his way to set up a trap with Bakemon to torture him rather than, well, actually using the kids as hostages. That’s a hell of a lot of work to do, but he instead uses this extremely roundabout way to get them out of the picture in a somewhat less harmful way, risking having them escape (which is exactly what happens).

And in 02 episode 19, when Takeru confronts him and he ends up whipping him, you can hear a slight “...gh?” in the Japanese audio for a split second right after that, meaning that the Kaiser is, for some reason, having a hard time dealing with the fact that he just hit Takeru, and he does a very poor job defending himself against Takeru punching him out despite ostensibly being trained in judo. (Seriously, if you watch the animation of the scene, he’s just lying there while Takeru repeatedly punches the hell out of him, because he’s so out of it.) Regarding the Digimon, he’s convinced himself that they’re not living beings, but regarding the human Chosen Children, who undeniably are, no matter how much he might look down on them, he has a suspiciously hard time harming them as much as he could...

On top of that, one interesting question that might come up to one rewatching the first half of 02 is the strange “contradiction” of why the Kaiser ostensibly seems to hate Wormmon so much, calling him an unworthy idea of a partner in 02 episodes 10 and 19, and yet does remarkably little to get Wormmon away from him or off his case (he hates Wormmon calling him “Ken-chan”, yet doesn’t really try very hard to stop him). He could have easily locked Wormmon away in a cage or something if he really wanted to -- actually, there’s the question, why doesn’t he slap an Evil Ring on him? Because in the end, Wormmon is the only emotional support he’s really getting, and so it’s likely he unconsciously doesn’t want to lose that. Recalling that Digimon are fundamentally linked to the inner self, the Kaiser rejecting Wormmon for being “weak” is analogous to Ken rejecting his own self for being “weak” and “not perfect” -- which means that the fact he still keeps Wormmon around is analogous to the fact that Ken hasn’t really been able to bring himself to completely let his fundamental nature go. And, hence, it’s why he gets so initially incensed at Wormmon’s “betrayal” at 02 episode 10 (and yet still keeps him around despite that), and is ultimately emotionally destroyed by his death in 02 episode 21.

Although, actually, if you look carefully at 02 episode 21, it’s not quite Wormmon’s death that necessarily does it -- the turning point where he sheds the Kaiser persona is right before that (and in case you have any doubts, the animation puts highlights in his eyes for the first time in the series right at that point). Wormmon’s death is the first major consequence of his actions that he has to deal with, but what actually brought Ken back to his senses was his own realization that Digimon are living beings, that his actions have had permanent effects this whole time, and that he can’t take back anything he’d done.

Remember that 02 is a series that is largely about moving on and accepting that you can’t change the past, and that you have to move forward regardless of that. Ken’s fall into sadism was only possible by driving him into extremely deep-seated denial -- he was already starting to face the potential reality of Digimon being real, existing beings in the real world an episode prior. He says, outright, in 02 episode 21, that part of the reason he came to the Digital World to do all of this was escapism -- and, presumably, under the idea that any mistake he made could be rolled back and redone, unlike Osamu’s death. But the Digital World is not a place you can reset like a game, Ken will have to live with the consequences of his actions again, and moreover, every single one of the actions he’d been convincing himself were relatively meaningless had caused severe and permanent harm, and the entire thing overwhelms him.

It’s also important to point out that this was probably where the Dark Seed had to work a lot of magic to get Ken to embrace this kind of denial so easily -- after all, it’s established in the final quarter of the series that it does have a tangible impact on personality and puts a damper on one’s ability to feel empathy. In the flashback in 02 episode 23, regardless of whether Ken considered the Digital World to be a “game” or “able to be reversed” or not, he clearly still didn’t care and treated those around him with proper kindness (even if he did consider it to be all of that, it probably wouldn’t have been entirely unlike how a lot of us have a hard time picking rude choices in video games). It’s a very complicated chain reaction of events that allowed this to be even possible, and it was so against his fundamental nature that once the denial broke and Ken reached his limit, he wasn’t able to do it anymore. The Chosen Children’s main role in 02 episode 21 was really just cleaning up the massive mess he’d made in the form of Chimeramon, but as far as the whole thing about the Kaiser’s persona completely falling apart and Ken being forced to confront his own self goes, that was pretty much all Ken and Wormmon, in a series of dominoes that had already been collapsing for episodes on end.

The following episodes have Ken treat the 02 team with a certain amount of detachment, and this is often construed by a handful of people as being reflective of Ken being standoffish of some sort. The fact that Daisuke and Ken are often promoted in franchise materials as “rivals” mainly due to them being in the “protagonist and right-hand-man” position such characters are in might tempt you to think that way, but they are most definitely not!! (Considering that even saying that Taichi and Yamato fit that mold is a bit questionable, and neither Ruki nor Jian quite fulfill the expectations of the role in regards to the genre-subverting Tamers, Frontier, which is explicitly said to be deliberately written to be conventional, is probably the first proper execution of this trope in the form of Takuya and Kouji.) Ken’s detachment from the group at this time in the series is something he actually gives the reason for quite directly: he believes it’s his fault and doesn’t want to burden them with what he considers to be his job, and in the end Daisuke ultimately breaks through to him and they become completely normal friends who get along. “Rival” what?

Ken is, at worst, distant during this point of the series, but he’s actually very straightforward about what he wants and intends to do; it’s just that he’s being a bit blunt about it because he’s still drowning in his shame and not sure how to approach them. (Also, consider the fact he was rather lacking in friends or a support group before all of this; he doesn’t have a lot of experience in socializing, either.) So he keeps everyone at arm’s length, and the reason he comes off as so standoffish is because he’s so assertive! He directly and bluntly makes some very strong remarks about how he believes everyone else shouldn’t be getting involved! Again, when left to his own devices and not being manipulated into by a supernatural evil seed into multiple levels of denial, Ken is very in control of what he wants and thinks, and is even very open about speaking his mind.

That’s even when they’re not good decisions, mind you. Ken starts off the climax of 02 episode 26 being very firm about wanting to suicidally throw himself into the reactor in order to stop it, and 02 episode 30 has him consider himself a burden to the team after the fallout with Iori and try to stay out of it despite them very badly needing his presence, which Daisuke (of all people!) rightfully calls him out for being childish about. But he also listens to reason very quickly and acknowledges the others’ point very easily, with Daisuke reminding him in 02 episode 26 that his suicidal recklessness is actually pretty self-centered and short-sighted of him, since it’ll prevent him from doing anything else to take responsibility for his actions going forward, and Miyako, uh, slapping him in 02 episode 30. (But he comes quietly right away as if acknowledging his own idiocy, and never holds it against her thereafter.)

Nevertheless, the point is: you can see that this kind of assertiveness is the same kind of assertiveness he had as the Kaiser, just channeled in a different direction and for a different purpose. But as the Kaiser, he was angrily lashing out at anything and everything and stepping on anything he could just so he could have a show of power; once he comes back to his senses, he reserves that force for it being something he consciously believes is the right thing to do (regardless of whether it’s actually the right thing to do or not).

Because of the fact Ken spends a lot of the last quarter of 02 suffering and parsing a lot of trauma, a lot of people have tended to pin him as constantly sad and being a soft crybaby, but that couldn’t be further from the truth! Despite all the emotional pain he goes through, Ken has a hell of a ton of strength through all of this -- he even flings a well-aimed quip at Oikawa in 02 episode 44 despite being in a completely helpless situation, and in 02 episode 45 he himself is the one who volunteers to open the gate to the Dark Ocean, despite knowing exactly what it entails. That takes a lot of guts, and all things considered, his recovery from being the Kaiser spans only four months and is altogether incredibly fast given what he went through -- it did not take long for him to regain his bearings and get himself back on track. Again, it’s the same kind of “assertiveness” and capacity for action that fuels what the Kaiser did, just better controlled and in a direction Ken knows he actually wants.

This is also why I tend to object to insinuations that Ken would be overly touchy about or traumatized by the mere discussion of him being the Kaiser in the aftermath of 02, because the series itself, multiple times, portrayed him as being very able to talk about his experiences bluntly and honestly, at worst maybe considering it a bit of an awkward topic. He has no problems admitting that it was a thing that happened, especially if it involves discussing it as part of taking responsibility or preventing further damage -- it’s just that he of course doesn’t enjoy it either, and is equally as open about the shame he feels as a result. All of the times Ken loses his composure in the latter half of 02 involve either physical pain being inflicted on him, or a lot more actively vicious invocation of his memories and insecurities, and even then he gets himself back on his feet with a rather prompt amount of speed. Poorly timed of a statement as it may have been, Miyako is not incorrect when she says in 02 episode 31 that he has a certain amount of natural resilience that he carried from being the Kaiser.

All the way back in 02 episode 9, shortly after it was revealed to the group that Ken was the Kaiser, Iori, Hikari, and Takeru all label Ken as someone who doesn’t look like someone who could do something so horrible, and Hikari even says that his smile looks “gentle” (note that this is yasashisou, a word derived from the same root word used for his Crest). So in other words, even all three of them were able to catch on to his actual nature betraying himself even during that awful period of time. It’s still poking through, all things considered.

But we as the audience know he’s putting on that face for the camera, and his eyes are still as dead-eyed as they are for the first half of the series, and when Miyako accidentally makes him laugh during the Christmas party in 02 episode 38, it’s very much framed as probably the first time Ken has been this genuinely happy in a long while. He was never able to be this happy even when “satisfying” himself by stepping on others as the Kaiser.

And that’s why it’s so extremely unlikely that Ken will ever be able to lapse back into the Kaiser persona after the events of 02, even with the Dark Seed technically still inside his neck. He wasn’t enjoying it anyway; the Kaiser persona wasn’t a habit that he fell into out of emotional suppression or even catharsis, but rather him forcing himself into a role he was never comfortable in to begin with. He was never truly satisfied with anything he was getting out of it, and moreover, it took the combination of supernatural influence and a hell of a lot of denial to allow it to get that far in the first place, because of how far against his fundamental nature that was.  (Again, for those of you who have seen Appmon: think about what it would take to get Haru to embrace sadism.) Even Osamu wasn’t enjoying being cold; being kind and living your life with positivity is a lot more fulfilling and fun, anyway.

In 02 episode 48, Ken describes the influence of the Seed as “horrible” in retrospect; even if it didn’t involve physical pain and exhaustion the way it did for the Dark Seed children, the entire experience sucked even back then. And while Ken theorizes about the Dark Seed’s influence being countered by the power of love earlier in the episode, when you look at the whole of 02, it’s not just his family’s love -- Ken now has the emotional support of his family, and Wormmon, and his newfound friends, and that’s giving him all of the fulfillment he wanted that putting on a front of sadism wasn’t giving him, and he doesn’t really need anything else anymore.

02 itself is very much about the fact that it’s not a bad thing to rely on the support of others to be happy; the Ken and Kaiser are undoubtedly the same person, but the latter’s existence requires a very specific lineup of events and factors to happen, and one of the massive parts behind that was a severe lack of emotional support or anyone who properly understood him. And by the end of the series, Ken has more than enough strength of heart to accept everything that’s happened and move on, and to stop reaching out to denial and clinging onto the past, and he has emotional support and understanding from a whole new group of friends that thoroughly understand everything he did and went through, and wholeheartedly accept and love him anyway.

He is never going to have a gaping hole in his life like that again.

#digimon #digimon adventure 02 #ichijouji ken #ken ichijouji #shihameta

[minteyedoll]

Request: rfa (and saeran and v) with an MC who grew up very poor (like so poor where sometimes her family had to choose between food and electricity, and even then they barely ate)? And even know when shes kinda stable, she still makes unnecessary cuts to save money? I hope that made sense, I really love your work and I really do believe you'll do this prompt justice

It totally made sense, I know how everyone is just trying to make the conditions they were born in a little better. And to be honest I have become kind of a hoarder with stuff since I am never sure if my family's condition will keep improving or we'll fall back so I was really excited to get to this request.

RFA+Saeran, MC from a poor family always stressed about money

*Yoosung*

As far as the canon goes, his family is in the upper-middle class so he never really had to worry about much stuff until he got to college. Mostly because he had to do all the grocery shopping but he never got extremely worried about money

He knew how messed up it can be for some people, but it only hit him when Rika took him to charity centers and he had to realize the worth of money in this world

And he hoped to keep studying so that he never had to worry about it, and maybe he would be able to keep helping others

Before he knew where you came from, he had already noticed some habits you had. You would never throw damaged clothing or most items for that matter

Preparing super simple meals and walking from school instead of taking the bus and trying to save all the money that you can

He thought there was something you wanted, something expensive, he sometimes did that whenever he needed money for LOLOL’s rare items

After some time, he noticed you kept on saving, and even when you got to live together, you made some unnecessary cuts like walking instead of using the car or refusing to buy special gifts for your anniversary. And at this point, he knew why you did it and was supportive of anything that gave you a sense of security but would make sure to stop you if he thought that it could affect you in any way

He would help you to let things go easier and will use that as part of his motivation to work harder every day.

Because it breaks his heart to think that you may live in the fear of counting cents again, so he wants to make sure that it never happens again.

*Zen*

Zen had been there, Zen has been all alone in a room wondering if food will come to the table tomorrow. So he is always extremely grateful for any gig he gets.

It took him some time after his career starting taking off to start using his money in a healthy way because he was also scared that luck would leave his side and he would have nothing left

So he knows right away why you do what you do and what it passing through your head

He thinks you are mostly scared that either his or your career will be in danger and harder times will come

But he has also learned a thing or two about changing your whole lifestyle when it isn’t necessary to do so and being that he stands firmly with his psychic dreams he also believes that manifesting shortage in your future will bring nothing but that

So the first thing he does when he realizes what the background for your habits is. Is sitting you down and talk to you, even when he hates to talk about money, he hates to see you stressing over things you shouldn’t be worried about

And he would be glad to help you save in a healthy way, he would also force you to spend money sometimes because he wants to have a peaceful relationship with all the aspects of your life

In the end, it takes teamwork and agreements to make both of you improve overall, he will stop smoking, if you stop every single coin in the house and allow yourself a treat now and then.

*Jaehee*

She had the same fear as you do. Ever since she was young she told herself that if she worked hard enough and earned enough money she would be at ease

But she discovered the hard way that it wasn’t true, she discovered that even when all the sleepless nights covered in papers, coffee and the bright screen of a laptop were remunerated, it wasn’t worth it

After she realized that and freed herself from that idea, she knew her life would change for the better. But even when you two had the coffee shop, you still overworked yourself to make cuts

You insisted on buying cheaper things, do more manual work to cut costs and eventually it got to a point where she noticed it wasn’t healthy for either of you and that at some point you would fall down the rabbit hole she once was in

She wanted to help you as much as you helped her. She wanted to get you out of it.

So she took over all the finances of the shop, and won’t let you see them unless your opinion was extremely important

She would also forcibly give you days off and give bring some of the best desserts home for you to relax a little bit.

And if things ever get tight, she will make sure to tell you everything about it and assure you that things will always be okay for both of you

*Jumin*

Oh boi you two are a case

Because we all know that he likes to spend crazy amounts of money on stuff he loves, he loves you, and he wants to spoil you rotten.

So can’t help but notice how you would never wear jewelry if he didn’t bring it up, or how you would always ask if it was okay for him to spend so much money on some things.

And he would be very oblivious as to why you act the way you do, in fact, he is so lost that the only to get him to understand is directly explaining everything to him

Then and there is when you pour your heart out, all the feelings of desperation and inferiority, the constant fear that surrounds you and keeps whispering that misfortune will eventually look your way once again, that every luxury you and Jumin posses will disappear into thin air

And to Jumin it is a foreign concept. The idea of losing everything and cling into the money you have left is way too distant for him.

"MC, do you think I don't know how to run the company?" he asked sarcastically

"That's not what I mean and you know it" you sat in disbelief "it's just that… Everything could fall at any moment"

He took a seat right beside you and moved his hand carefully towards yours

"I know that, but don't you think I'll let that destroy everything I know how to take care of things. Trust me, my love" he said looking straight into your eyes and bringing the back of your hand to his lips softly

With that said, he would open the biggest saving account on your name so he has an excuse to keep spoiling you

*Saeyoung*

He, he is too busy to notice any out of the way behavior from your part when you first arrived

But slowly he started to wonder a little bit more about the reasoning behind it. But everything became clear when he finally connected what he had learned from you while doing the background check

Once he finally connected two and two, he understood most things about your mindset, but also placed himself on the opposite end

He understood the fear of losing everything and starting all over again, to go back to not having anything, to run for your life, and make hard decisions. But at the same time, that same fear of losing everything made him detached from things

Instead of saving and saving as you do, he uses his money in things that bring him instant happiness like his car or his computers, since he doesn’t know what will happen tomorrow he will do his best with the things he has now

And right now he has you, and he wants you to be at your best, to stop worrying like crazy like he once did

There would be a lot of reassurance from his part because even if he isn’t super proud and confident about his job and what he does right now, you have nothing to worry about, he is a genius!!!

*Saeran*

He is as worried as you are, ever since he was left on his own, he started worrying about the ending of it all

Wondering when everything would fall apart again, not necessarily talking about money, but his life in general

After getting over everything and being together with his brother and with you once again, he starts to notice how the topic of money a very difficult one for you

He notices how you always have something on your mind, and usually that something is worrying about work, payment or bills

At first, he wants to tell you not to worry about it, but then he starts thinking about what he could do to make you feel better

And then his condition starts to worsen as he realized that there is not much he could do, that unlike his brother he didn't have a job to survive on

The feelings of inferiority and self-depreciation came to fill his head again, blocking away any good traits he trusted to have

Both of you avoided any talk until one braking point where you found him having one of his panic attacks

After he calmed down and explained how he felt he could not be a safe place for you even when you were the safest place for him, you started to cry too

The thought that money issues could bring so much pain into the one you love broke your heart and made you realize how things ould slowly improve

Both of you started firing each other’s habits, and Saeyoung would be super supportive of both of you too, letting you know that he will be there for you anytime

*V*

with V things were pretty clear since the beginning, he knew what you have gone through, and tries his best to show you the prettier side of life

If the issue of money makes you anxious, he will try his best to support and elevate your career, but would also be very confident in his work and let you know that things look bright for himself too

I feel like he would be fine having a more humble lifestyle if that makes you at ease, but then again, he believes in helping you recover internally and externally so he would not hesitate in stopping you whenever he sees it is getting out of hand

To the point o taking finances out of your hands, and just letting you know very vague things about the money, without interfering in what you make of course

But overall, being friends with Jumin all his life and being able to be in that circle of people most of his life have taught him a thing or two about money and happiness

I really enjoyed writing this and would like to develop more about Jumin in this one

Don't forget to check out my Masterlist and Rules :))

#mysme headcanons #mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanons #mysme yoosung #mysme zen #mysme jaehee #mysme jumin #mysme ray #mysme jihyun #mysme seven #mysme saeyoung #mysme saeran #mm fanfic #mysme fanfic

[leaflovescloud]

Late night thoughts

Hi there, my safe space. 

I’m actually a little tired right now, after a long day at work, not sure if I was being 100% productive, but I guess it’s not too bad. I guess nature cereal really helps. 

I just want to spend some time with myself, in this safe space. I guess being able to rely on this safe space kind of gave me some form of relieves as well. Like it is the only space where I can air out my thoughts without being judged, without any defensive reply, without having to be hurt / vulnerable. 

Other than relationship, I think I’m also seriously worrying about my future. I guess I really just don’t know if law is for me. I do enjoy doing it, sometimes I guess. But I really don’t see myself doing it every single day for the next few years, I know I will be worn out for sure. The amount of dedication and attention that I have to commit, it’s tiring. And I’m not sure if I would like try out in house either. 

Que sera sera. 

I will just listen to the universe, follow where it leads me. Sounds very submissive huh? Because I really don’t know what I should do. 

Maybe I should start by exploring my interest, then I realized I have none LOL. I’m just a really boring person, I guess. 

And one thing I find it a little unhealthy is that - I pretty much find my value through working harder and performing well. Not sure if I should put such heavy reliance on it but that’s what it is at this point. 

So say if one day I’m not working anymore, it is very likely that I may think that I’m unworthy and of no value, which I really don’t think I should have this kind of mindset. 

With that being said, I really hope I can find my worth, not only through work, but also from the within, I want to be able to love myself, like every single part of myself. Also, I wish I could be more confident in time to come, which I find myself slowly improving. I started to voice it out more, share my thought even though there is a chance that I’m wrong. But it doesn’t matter even if I am, it actually makes me learn better as well. 

Speaking about work, I’m really worried about cash flow as well. At least I really don’t want to be in a situation where I chew more than I can bite. I know with the upcoming liabilities / burden in my new studio and car, it’s gonna cost me a chunk of cash. For this, I really wish I can be more mindful in my spending and money would find its way to me. I guess I need to do some planning, but I have no one to go to. 

And yeah, sometimes I wish I’m born in a wealthy household, with a silver spoon and clothe with privilege. But I guess I’m not complaining as well, the fact that I’m not. I’m forever grateful for what I have, I know it must be very hard for my parents to raise both of my sister and I. They literally started from zero and no matter how hard the situation is, they tried their best to support us. At least for my time, I think I was a bit fortunate as my parents had one less burden of their shoulder, when my sister graduated university. 

I had the opportunity to travel overseas with them. We have been to Taiwan, Shanghai and Eastern Europe. All these, are not something that had ever appeared in my mind before because I simply knew we are not going to afford it. More so, my mum being so tight on her own finances, actually paid for my trip to New Zealand, just to make sure that I will be happy. 

Sure, in many aspects, they are not the best parents ever. But I simply do not blame them. They didn’t have the opportunity to experience different cultures where their mindset are pretty much still in the 80s. And that’s okay. Deep inside, I just know they love me very much even though it may not be that form of love that I’m seeking for. But I just understand, I just understand. 

All I’m asking for is for both of them to be healthy and happy. To be at least contented with their life, to be able to live together peacefully. It has been a long way. 

For me myself, I see myself growing up as well. I’m already 26 years old this year. Time indeed flies. I have learned a lot, in terms of work, life and relationship. 

For work, I don’t know, I feel like at this point, I’m just fortunate because I don’t have to work for certain people. The challenges will come when I am to work for those people again. I really don’t like when I’m being bullied by them. Because this toxicity at work place simply should not exist and should not be condoned. But things got a little bit out of control because nobody is doing something. Anyways, the way they handle things or even treat their colleagues / staff just say so much about them. And I vowed not to follow their footsteps and I aspired to make a change about it. Perhaps my vision may not overcome it all, certainly, some people will take advantage, but at the very least, I wish to create a comfortable working environment to all, where everyone is treated with respect. We are now in 21st century, superiority should not be an excuse to torture your co-worker. We should have similar goals, which is to act in the best interest of our company and to get things done. I’m really manifesting this with the hope to make a change. And I hope the universe will lead me to where I belong. 

For life / relationship. Sure, I’m undergoing some difficulties right now. Not sure if the situation is worsen because of the MCO, but yeah, things have been difficult. But I guess at the same time I am also just trying to work on myself, and be more understanding. At this point, I’m just holding on, but again, I don’t see myself with this person in the future. There is just this thing where I just don’t, feel it and see it. The level of comfort is not there anymore. Every time I am just thinking “Am I doing this right?” “Am I saying the right thing?”. Essentially, I’m just not myself anymore. 

Whatever I do, for example like being a little ‘manja’ just made me feel unnecessary, because I’m not sure what is the receiving end thinking. This is really bad LOL. I guess that’s why, I just don’t do anything anymore, because it’s not that what I do is what he needs anyway. My way of expressing love is simply not what he needs. 

And if i were to put myself in his position, I would be struggling as well. Because not able to get your desire fulfilled and basically not able to be contented emotionally. I didn’t realize how these factors play a huge role in a relationship, but now I do and I accept it. 

And I said many times, I used to think love overcomes it all, but it simply doesn’t. There are just too many factors that play a huge role as well and it’s not for me to overlook it. I was too simplistic, certainly. I would like to work on myself , but unfortunately, not with Chris. He deserves better. I don’t think at my level I will be able to fulfill what he wants. 

The day is getting closer. Slowly, it will be the end of July and it will be time for me to bid goodbye to all these. 

I guess quite apart from what I have with Chris, it’s a bit difficult to just leave his parents and brother. They have been quite a part of our relationship where they genuinely treat me like their own daughter. More importantly, they were there for me during my lowest time. It’s just difficult, because I will forever owe them. And I am really unsure of how I’m going to repay them. 

Dear Universe, I leave it to you. If you do think we are a good fit for each other, I believe you will do your magic and lead us to the right path.  

Let’s talk about my mental health. 

Quite apart from relationship issues, I think I have been healing quite effectively. Honestly, I didn’t think I will be able to leave all those memories behind so quickly. I guess in a way, going back to the office did speed up the process. Even though I went back to the office for different reasons which I shall not dwell on that. Right now, I’m able to think of the incident with a rather calm and accepting mind, and focusing on the positive side of things, i.e. I am still alive, I am healthy, I am able to move around and walk again etc. I guess in this sense, I’m truly grateful because I simply can’t imagine if things go otherwise. For this, I would like to believe that the universe is trying to convey a message to me. Of course, what the message is, it depends on what I have deciphered. May be it’s one of those things: 

(i) Life is short, very short. Live your live and don’t ever do things that you will regret one day. 

(ii) Live everyday as if it is your last. Cliche as it sounds, but for far too many times, I just thought, ‘What if it took my life that night?’ 

(iii) Be cheerful and live life with a purpose. 

(iv) Be strong and protect yourself. 

(v) To express your love, not in the way best suited myself, but also to understand from the other side, what do they need. 

(vi) What I think it’s okay may not be okay for the other person. 

Oh ya, I thought of another issue - me being emotional unavailable. I’m not sure its actual definition in real life but I guess I fit most of the criteria, i.e. being evasive and have the tendency to run away from problems. 

I guess my old defence mechanism works when I’m single, but surely it doesn’t work when I have another person to account to as well. I used to just shut down, and it helps and it works because in any event, it won’t cast any effect on third parties. 

And perhaps, I should not have the unrealistic expectations that someone, especially my boyfriend should always be responsible of my own emotion. That would lead to co-dependent relationship, which is unhealthy. 

Probably there are still a few more, but for the purposes of tonight, that should be it. And I feel so much better, like, I feel nice doing it especially before sleeping. It’s like a mind decluttering exercise. And I feel peaceful. A little bit contented. 

Lastly, I pray that this covid situation will be better soon, please. 

WC 

[linkspooky]

Panem Et Circenses

Roma’s monologue from the latest chapter was what interested me the most more than any bloodshed depicted. (Yes, even more than Urie getting owned.) In particular her light reference to a latin phrase. 

Bread and Circuses or “Panem Et Circenses”, it’s a phrase used to describe appeasement of the masses, most particularly in the form of government. That public approval is best gained not through exemplary of excellent public service and police, but through distraction and satisfaction of the most immediate and shallow desires of the populace. 

The phrase itself originates from Rome in Satire X of the roman satirical poet Juvenal (about AD 100), citing what the roman populace cares about, forgoing both it’s historical birthright or political involvement. In 140 BC. Roman politicans passed a series of laws to keep the votes of poorer citizens, by introducing a grain distribution, and easy to access entertainment [x]. 

It’s also important to remember that Roman culture is based upon the culture of the Greek City States (most importantly the surviving culture of Athens), and for Latin culture the concept of every citizen having not only a right, but an obligation to participate in government. Athens was a direct democracy where all able bodied citizens had to paricipate, vote, sit in juries in order for the government to function. Rome was a republic, and then an empire, but still in those days there was a sitting senate and opportunities for even commoners to participate in government as long as they were citizens. 

Basically, it’s a very latin idea (that is combined Greek and Roman), that the improvement upon society relies on individuals stepping up to contribute. Therefore the mass of the government those who wield power, and the masses those who are subjected to power is almost one in the same. However the pacification of the masses, that is supplying them with bread and distraction to fill their most surface needs and stop them from rising up themselves while it helps a certain amount of individuals secure power, leads to the downfall of society. 

What, I wondered did he mean by society? The plural of human beings? Where was the substance of this thing called “society”? I had spent my whole life thinking that society must certainly be something harsh and severe, but to hear Horiko talk made the words “Don’t you mean yourself?”, come to the tip of my tongue. [...] What is society but an individual?

Osamu Dazai’s, No Longer Human 119-120

What Juvenal is satirizing is the decline of individual heroism, in favor of the satisfaction of the masses. Individual heroism in a sense of the ability of a single individual to stand up and make a difference in its simplest of terms: agency.

… Already long ago, from when we sold our vote to no man, the People have abdicated our duties; for the People who once upon a time handed out military command, high civil office, legions — everything, now restrains itself and anxiously hopes for just two things: bread and circuses (Juvenal, Satire 10.77-81)

This idea of certain forces being used to pacify the masses to make them easier to control is something that appears again and again in philosophy. Nietzsche accused Christianity of fostering a slave morality,

“I finally discovered two basic types and one basic difference. There are master morality and slave morality. . . . The moral discrimination of values has originated either among a ruling group whose consciousness of its difference from the ruled group was accompanied by delight - or among the ruled, the slaves and dependents of every degree [...]  The Christian faith is from the beginning a sacrifice: sacrifice of all freedom, all pride, all self-confidence of the spirit, at the same time enslavement and self-mockery, selfmutilation …” Nietzsche - Beyond Good and Evil

Nietzsche accused Catholicism of suggesting that by making our most cherished values originate not among those who were the best and brightest of their times, but among those who were the most oppressed and impoverished. That this encourages not pride in oneself and one’s own achievements but rather pride in keeping your head down and surviving. Therefore people are encouraged not to be revolutionary but to be ordinary. 

Jesus’ statement itself presents a paradox. “If the meek aren’t meant to inherit the earth, they cannot do this by remaining meek.”

Of course religion asks for faith that all suffering and losses endured in this world will be rewarded in the next one. It can quickly look like an excuse for further suffering in this world, hen people could just as easily work to make a paradise out of this one. 

Nietzsche calls this idea “Slave Morality”. It’s obviously connected with the dynamics of power.

Karl Marx in his critique of Heigel wrote this: 

"Die Religion ... ist das Opium des Volkes" and is often rendered as "religion... is the opiate of the masses."

Karl Marx

The full quote in context is this, though. 

Religious suffering is, at one and the same time, the expression of real suffering and a protest against real suffering. Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.

The abolition of religion as the illusory happiness of the people is the demand for their real happiness. To call on them to give up their illusions about their condition is to call on them to give up a condition that requires illusions.

In essence, if people were to abolish their habit of simply looking for happiness to distract them from suffering, or even their need to give reason and justice to suffering which is by its nature unjust, then people could directly look at the suffering and then deal with it. 

Of course it’s not that simple, but this is philosophy and philosophy likes to deal in conjecture and abstract terms. 

As shown through Juvenal, Nietzsche and Marx, the tendency of the masses and therefore individuals to forgo deeper reasons to live for instead more on the surface pleasures is what leads to their own ability of making their will manifest. 

It’s all about individual agency. This is a theme that too, comes up time and time again in Tokyo Ghoul. Furuta, perhaps in reference to V’s many own roman references describes basically this as the way that V corrals the masses in “66- Old Guard.”

He mentions both things, food and distraction. Kuzen similarly, says that in his early life with V that he was supplied with a safe dwelling and all the food that he could eat in return for completing their heartless tasks for them. 

Kuzen describes it in different words, but what he feels before meeting Ukina is in essence the same problem that plagued Roma as she was growing up: He was bored. 

Boredom is another word for fulfillment, even if it’s not as poetic. Roma had no parents, no point of attachment, no people in her life no reason to continue living and yet she did. She looked at it and said why? Then she looked around her and saw nothing but people distracting themselves.

Roma was both disgusted, and envious. Envious that they had the opportunity to distract themselves despite being such weak and frail creatures yet she who had been fighting for her survival all this time did not have such a luxury. So Roma made humanity her distraction. 

Roma calls the common enemy of humans and ghouls “boredom” itself. Probably not something Urie could immediately sympathize with, but look back what exactly is Urie’s entire quest for anyway? 

To have his own existence affirmed. Without it, Urie was merely lost. Donato had to ask for him the questions he was putting off asking for so long. He simply suffered without reason. 

Urie’s quest is one for an individual identity outside of his father’s. He is plagued by the same questions then we all are, “Why am I fighting? Why was I born? Why do I exist?”

His answer to this so far though has been to surrender his sense of identity to the CCG above him, and hope that through ascending the hierarchy therefore he will get the affirmation he so desperately desired. He too was bored in a way. He did not have a reason to stand or fight. Too weak to stand on his own feet and fight for his own reasons and therefore he surrendered his power to a higher system and hoped the would make the decision for him.

“The weak wish to surrender themselves to the strong.”

Fura notices this same pattern in Sasaki and Arima themselves, he defines a good person as somebody who can struggle with and accept an answer they find themselves, while the opposite of that is somebody who accepts an answer from on high and nods “Yes, I understand.”

That people who are therefore mentally troubled by what they do are actually healthier than those who aren’t. At which point we reach the final panel of Roma’s monologue, where she casts Kaneki and Furuta in the same role. Conductors of a meaningless parade who aren’t going to bring any meaningful change to the world. 

Why is it that the both of them in Roma’s mind, are different from Aogiri who stated that they actually believed in a world for ghouls, an answer that bored her? 

Is it because they too, just like Roma but unlike Tatara and Eto of Aogiri have no true intention of destroying the cage placed around them, no care to follow through on the future that the both of them promised to their respective sides. “A perfect world without ghouls” and “A world where you walk freely up above.” They are completely different promises but at the same time they are in essence promising the same thing. Bear with it for now, and the world will be better. 

Perhaps it’s because Furuta and Kaneki both on their opposite sides of the game create exactly the kind of gameboard that Roma enjoys to dwell in. That they both lead the masses through distractions and promises, showmanship rather than substantive leadership that might actually bring a better change to the world. 

Furuta sets up a scoreboard, publicizes the gory details of the CCG, sets up executions on the streets as a way of inciting the masses. Kaneki en masse dumps broken Quiqnues in front of the crowds even as they are starving for food. Both of these are demonstrations, put on to convince the crowd. 

They only requires the masses to secede their agency to them, their individual will, to tie their strings collectively to both Furuta and Kaneki, and in return these two kings will supply you with what you need. 

Roma calls both of these so called revolutions for what they really are, “parades” simply a conflict to entertain the masses on both sides and distract them from the suffering of their lives rather than actually addressing it. 

The common evil then shared between humans and ghouls is not their propensity towards violence, but rather their propensity towards boredom. Attempting to fill the void of their meaningless existences causes them to stumble blind through their own lives rather than acting individually and with purpose. 

#tg meta #kaneki ken #furuta nimura #roma hoito #philosophy #nietzsche #marx #juvenal #roman junk

[oadara]

Game of Thrones - Jon and Daenerys Parallels v.2

ETA: I’ve added a few more parallels but Season 3 is sadly lacking. If you’ve noticed any, send them my way. 

Hey guys,

So I wanted to write a post about all the parallels and connections there are between Dany and Jon on Game of Thrones. I started a re-watched but it stalled. As you can see I was really good the first season and a half. I wrote a little summary of each of their scenes (if they appeared in the same episode) and what the connection was.

If any of you guys have noted these things for the episodes I don’t have anything for please send them my way. It would be nice to have a complete list.

Season 1

Episode 1 - “Winter is Coming”

- We see that both Dany and Jon feel disconnected from their family. Jon of course because he’s a bastard and Dany because she feels powerless against Viserys.

- In contrast, Jon is kept away from the celebration welcoming King Robert, this angers him because he is once again being ostracized for being a bastard. Dany on the other hand is forced to attend the celebration of her wedding even as she begged Viserys to not make her marry.

- Both receive/find their animal companion:Jon finds Ghost and Dany is given the dragon eggs.

Episode 2 - “The King’s Road”

- While Drogo is rapping Dany she is looking at her dragon eggs which are surrounded by candles, as she looks into their fire we transition to Jon looking at the campfire. This is a clear connection between these two characters and probably a hint of Jon’s Targaryen heritage.

- The parallel here is the both lament the situation they find themselves in. Dany suffering in her marriage and Jon realizing that the Night’s Watch is nothing like he had imagined.

Episode 3  - “Lord Snow”

-We see the scene transition from Dany to Jon. In Dany’s scene she is learning to assert herself as a khaleesi, earning the respect of her followers (Dothraki as well as Jorah). In Jon’s scene with Benjen, he tells him, “a man gets what he earns when he earns it.” Later in the episode we see Jon working with the other recruits teaching them what he knows, and beginning to earn their respect.

-Tyrion is meeting with the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch and Maester Aemon, when the conversation is almost to an end Maester Aemon says: “When winter comes, gods help us all if we are not ready.” The scene then transitions to Dany’s dragon eggs. We then see Dany telling Drogo that they are having a boy, then we transition back to the Wall and Tyrion and Jon.

Episode 4 -  “Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things”

-We begin with The scene in which Jon meets Sam, the coward, this scene then transitions to Dany riding alongside Jorah into Vaes Dothrak. Jorah complains about Ned Stark driving him from his land, to which Dany reminds him that he sold slaves.

-Second transition: Ser Allister is talking to Jon and Sam about winter and says to them “When you are out there beyond the Wall do you want a man at your back or a sniveling boy?” This then transitions into Viserys dragging Doreah into Dany’s tent, he attacks Dany but she hits him back, showing him to be a sniveling boy.

-We then transition back to Jon and Sam, Jon tells Sam that he almost had sex with the red-headed Ros! Ser Allister then comes in and after throwing some more insults says to Jon “Mance Rayder’s men are hard men, harder than Jon will ever be. Not quite true Ser Allister. Finally, we transition back to Dany and Jorah, they are both taking about going home. Dany confesses to Jorah that she doesn’t believe Viserys will ever be able to take her home.

NOTE: In this episode we see both Dany and Jon stand up for some else and confront a bully. Jon stands up for Sam and confronts Ser Allister and Ralf while Dany on the other hand stands up to Viserys and defends Doreah.

Episode 7 “You win or You die” - The first transition goes from the assassination attempt against Dany to Jon being selected as Stewart to the Lord Commander. - Second transition from Jon to Dany. Jon takes his oath in front of the Heart-tree this transitions to Dany talking to Jorah about punishing the wine seller and Drogo makes his speech promising his son the Iron Throne. The symbolism going on in their scenes this episode was about being given a ‘gift’ that they don’t really understand the magnitude of yet. In both cases they are coming close to their future leadership roles but not in the way they expect. Jon is put out and sulky to be assigned a steward without realizing the leadership potential of being LC Mormont’s direct assistant. Daenerys on the other hand is given the gift of what she wants most from Drogo, to take back the Iron Throne. She expects fully expects this will happen and has no idea it will in fact be herself that follows through with Drogo’s promise much later. Episode 8 “The Pointy End” - Ser Alliser taunts Jon about being a traitor’s bastard, Jon responds by lunging on his with a knife and Ser Alliser tells him, you will hang for this. Not really, but you will Ser Alliser, for being a traitor. Oh the irony. Later on Ghost senses the Wight and Jon burns his hand with a lamp while burning the Wight. - We then transition to Dany who is in the Lhazareen village as the Dothraki are pillaging it. As Dany looks as the mayhem around her she asks Jorah to make the Dothraki stop raping and abusing the women. Jorah looks at her and tells her that she has a kind heart but this is how things have always been. Dany denies this but demands that Jorah make the men stop. I think this touches on an important theme in Dany’s story, which is that she doesn’t believe in maintaining the status quo. If something doesn’t seem right to her, she will do her best to improve it, no matter if it’s been done that way for hundreds or thousands of years. After Jorah stops the men he tells Dany “You can’t save them all” to which Dany answers “I can and I will.” This will later be manifested in her campaign against Slaver’s Bay. An interesting part of a parallel occurred in this episode or at least part of it. In this episode Theon asks Robb if he’s afraid (after he tells Maester Luwin to call his banners after Ned is arrested) to which Robb says “I must be” while he looks at his shacking hand. Theon says “good” and Robb asks “why’s that good?” to which Theon answers “ because it means you’re not stupid.” This conversation is eerily similar to the one Dany has with Tyrion at the end of season 6x10, where Tyrion asks her if she’s afraid of entering the “Great Game” and Dany nods yes, to which Tyrion answers “Good, only mad men like your father are not afraid.” Bringing this full circle Jon’s selection as King in the North in episode 6x10 is almost identical to Robb’s selection as KITN. So, in the season finally of season 6 the show tied in both Dany and Jon to Robb, another young leader and monarch. Let’s hope that they at least end their lives in a better way than poor Robb’s. Episode 9 “Baelor” - We only have one transition between the two this episode. We go from Jon and Aemon discussing choice to Dany in the Dothraki sea choosing to fight for her husband even though it’s clear he is dying. While Jon is being given the philosophical view of what it is to choose between love and duty, Dany is force to make that decision at that very moment. Episode 10: “Fire and Blood” - We transition from Dany to Jon. First Dany wakes from her miscarriage to find out her child is dead, that her husband is a shell without a spirit and that MMD has betrayed her. Then we transition to Jon who is running away to join Robb. Then we have Jon’s friends stop him and recite the oath he made. We then transition back to Dany who is washing khal Drogo before smothering him. I’m not sure if there are any connection between these scenes. -Finally the season ends with a transition between Dany and Jon. First Jon goes beyond the Wall with Lord Commander Mormont and the Night’s Watch. Then, we transition to Dany who is preparing the pyre for khal Drogo, gives her speech to her newly formed little khalsar, burns the pyre with MMD in it, enters pyre wakes up with dragons. The connection between the two being that they are about to embark in life-changing adventures. Neither of their lives will ever been the same after this. General Parallels: Both Dany and Jon deal with the grief of loosing someone they love, Dany with Drogo and Jon with Ned. Also, Dany’s first scene lead’s into Jon’s first scene. Jon’s second scene lead’s into Dany’s second scene. Jon’s final scene lead’s into Dany’s final scene.

Season 2

Episode 1: “The North Remembers”

-We find Dany in the Red Waste with the comet above her in the sky. Dany is talking to Doreah and says that no one will take her dragons. Yet, we will see that in Qarth they are taken from her by the warlock at the House of the Undying. Dany looks up at the sky and sees the comet and this transitions to Jon in the North at Crasters. Jon mouths off at Craster and Lord Commander pulls him aside. He asks Jon, “Do you want to lead one day?” to which Jon nods to which Lord Commander says “then you must learn how to follow.” It is important to note that Jon does want to be a leader, I think he wants that respect and acceptance, to earn it on his own right. We see him smile when he is elected Lord Commander, although, with a little trepidation. However, when we get into the King in the North scene he accepts but with a lot more trepidation. Now realizing how truly hard it is to be a leader.

- We have another scene with Dany in the Red Waste. Her people are starving and she doesn’t know what to do. She questions herself as a leader, because she cannot help her people, she cannot feed them or give them water. Jorah tells her that she must be their strength, and Dany asks Jorah to be her strength.

The scenes between Jon and Dany are both about learning to lead but in different ways. Jon needs to learn how to follow, being part of a military order before he can learn how to lead men. Dany having found herself leading already needs to learn how to take on the sorrows of her people, to be their strength, to give them hope when their is none.

Episode 2: “The Night Lands”

-There was a great Jon and Daenerys book-ended set of scenes - and a potential parallel between Jorah/Jon that I feel will later come full circle in both loving Daenerys also.

At the end of the scene with Sam and Gilly … We see Jon reflect on his feeling of helplessness in doing what’s right for people. His honor is warring with his sense of duty and keeping peace with Craster. The scene then transitions to Jorah sighing the same as Jon was … only now it’s he who feels helpless as Daenerys and the Dothraki are suffering (no water or shelter). I liked this parallel between the honorable men and the people they love. Jorah’s love for Dany and Jon’s love for Sam. Both are honorable men who will later do anything to save those they love.

Episode 3: “What is Dead May Never Die”

- No parallel this episode as Dany doesn’t appear in it. Episode 4: “Garden of Bones”

- No parallels as Jon doesn’t appear in this episode.

Episode 10 “Valar Morghulis”: -In Dany’s visions in the House of the Undying she goes through the red keep to the Wall.

Season 3

Episode 10 “Mhysa”

- Both Dany and Jon are carried. Dany by the newly freed slaves of Yunkai and Jon by his fellows brothers from the Nights Watch.  

- Dany being at the center of a group of people is mirrored in season 6 episode 9 when Jon is at the center of a group of people. The different is that Dany is surrounded by the living and Jon by the dying. 

Season 4

Episode 1 “Two Swords”

-Daario gives Dany the Bouquet of Symbolism (dusky rose (blue rose) = heals fevers). He also says to her that if he wants the people to follow her she needs to become part of their world.

Episode 3 “Breaker of Chains”

- A small parallel between Dany and Jon. Ser Alliser tells Jon that he is a “champion of the common people.” Then at the end of the episode we see Dany arriving in Meereen and speaking to the slaves about freedom, thus being a champion of the common people.

Episode 4 “Oathkeeper”

 -  Dany and Jon, they both coming up with plans to infiltrate/attack their enemies by surprise.

- They both speak of justice, Dany says “I will answer injustice with justice” and Jon says “ All we can give him [Mormont} is justice”. 

Episode 5 “First of His Name”

 - A small Dany and Jon parallel is Dany’s punishment of the Masters the episode before and Jon’s punishment of the mutineer’s in this episode. Their justice is a sentence of death. 

Episode 9 “The Watchers on the Wall” and Episode 10 “The Children”:

- Dany and Jon are left grieving and walking into an uncertain future. Dany chains away her dragons, afraid that they will harm another child. Jon buries Ygritte after the event at castle Black.\

- Jon holds a dying Ygritte in his arms the way Dany held a dying Drogo. 

Season 5

General - both are trying to incorporate a formerly persecuted group into the larger society. Facing opposition from the status quo, neither can seem to get both sides together.

Episode 1 “The Wars to Come”:

- Jon expresses a similar sentimate this episode that Dany expressed back in Season 1, Episode 4 when Dany says to Viserys regarding the Dothraki: “They are my people now. You shouldn’t call them savages”. In this episodes Jon says about the Wildlings: “They were born on the wrong side of the Wall. That doesn’t make them monsters.”

Episode 2 “The House of Black and White” and Episode 3 “High Sparrow”:

-Dany and Jon execute members of their “organizations”. Dany beheads Mossador for defying her orders and Jon beheads Slynt for defying his orders. 

Episode 5 “Kill the Boy”:

- Jon seeks out Maester Aemon’s advice regarding what he should do about a difficult situation, this is paralleled but Dany seeking out Missandei’s advice about what she should do about a difficult situation. Both of their advices advice the, to follow their instincts.   Additionally, both Dany and Jon release their prisoners in order to use them as allies. Also, there is the parallel of Sam and Missandei. Both  of them are the “right-hand man” of each character and they are both in the mist of unorthodox romantic relationships.

Season 6

Episode 9 & 10 - “The Batlle of the Bastards” & “The Winds of Winter”:

- In episode 9 while Dany is speaking with the slave masters she tells the “My reign has jus began” . In episode 10 Jon is selected as King in the North, effectively the beginning of his reign.  

#daenerys targaryen #jon snow #jonerys #jonerysnetwork #jonerysparallels #game of thrones

[weirderscience-blog1]

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[tgaoe]

Andy’s 2017 Television Report

I love watching good TV. I still feel there’s a stigma associated with watching as much as I do, but I’m trying to own it. I love TV. I would much rather watch an old West Wing ep than go on a hike or do basically anything outdoorsy. So there that is. And here is an exhaustive list of everything I watched this year.

Not Enough Time and/or Motivation to Watch/Finish Ranked by Level of Intention to Watch/Finish

10. The Vietnam War 9. Godless 8. The Young Pope S1 7. The Handmaid’s Tale S1 6. Search Party S2 5. Rick & Morty S3 4. Halt and Catch Fire S4 3. You’re the Worst S4 2. Better Things S2 1. Broad City S4

Disappointing/Bad The Americans S5 Starts strong, has some nice character development, but the main story was inconsequential and frustrating, as were several side stories.

Preacher S2 Has cool moments and I still love the three leads, but the main plot left me cold. Not even close to as good as the debut season.

Sherlock S4 Stupid and infuriating.

Seasons I Liked, Ranked by Favoritism 32 Curb Your Enthusiasm S8 Same old show, wearing a little thin but still enjoyable.

31 I Love Dick Obtuse, intentionally discomfiting, wonderfully acted; Kathryn Hahn is a goddess.

30 Stranger Things S2 A fun time and not much more, which is fine.

29 Veep S6 Somehow exactly the same cruel, cynical show despite a somewhat significant premise shift.

28 Silicon Valley S4 More of the same. Not sure how much longer this show can sustain the whole “awkward tech bros overcoming impossible odds” premise. Hoping for some risks next season.

27 Vice Principals S2 A hilarious, surprisingly emotional comedy that will always be stuck in the shadow of its predecessor.

26 Love S2 Rock solid cast, writing with a nice balance of comedy, drama, and romance.

25 Bojack Horseman S4 I like this show less than everyone else who likes it, feels like. Still, no other televised depiction of depression rings truer, and remains funny without making light of serious mental illness.

24 Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp Manic, inspired inanity.

23 Brooklyn Nine Nine S4/S5 Comfort food. Love everyone on the show. Every episode is the same and always will be and who cares.

22 Legion S1 In a year that hadn’t also included Twin Peaks: the Return, this would have ranked much higher for its crazy formalist experimentation, dazzling visual style, and sustained weirdness. Wish it had been more character-focused, and I hated the coda. Almost dreading season two.

21 Easy S2 Warm, human, real. Love the whole notion of a serialized anthology.

20 GLOW S1 Spending time with these characters just feels great, even when they’re behaving awfully. It’s the kind of show the predictability of which is a positive.

19 Big Little Lies S1 Reese Witherspoon projectile vomits pure green goop in this show. It rules.

18 Crashing S1 You love Pete or you don’t. I love him, have for years. The show is just more Pete.

17 The Good Place S1/S2 Quite possibly the most imaginative, innovate half-hour sitcom of all time; inspires equal investment in the characters and the ever-expanding mythology and mysteries, which is quite a feat.

16 Top of the Lake: China Girl Full review.

15 Fargo S3 By far the weakest season of the show, yet still one of the year’s best. Willfully disgusting and perhaps a bit too writerly, the last few episodes redeem some early rambling and formlessness. Ewan McGregor was not great in his role(s), and Carrie Coon’s performance was done a disservice by her appearing here and in The Leftovers simultaneously. But Mary Elizabeth Winstead and David Thewlis kill.

14 Ozark S1 Every 2-3 episodes contain enough plot for a full season of most other shows. It is wild. Characters at once inhabit archetypes and subvert them. I love how the main means of circumventing trouble is simply telling the truth.

13 One Mississippi S2 The best pure romance story on TV this year.

12 Future Man S1 Starts rough, slowly gets great. Consummately derivative sci-fi comedy. Couldn’t love it more.

11 Mindhunter S1 Spent most of the season deciding whether Jonathan Groff is terrible or magnificent here. Landed on magnificent, for the way he oscillates between ego states in response to story turns, negotiating his perceptions of both the concept of deviance and his sense of his own masculinity.

10 Dear White People S1 The number of characters this show balances is a miracle, and how it engenders empathy for all parties while maintaining its slick, ultracool visual style and exploring sensitive themes with the utmost nuance.

9 Mr. Robot S3 A vast improvement after the letdown of season two. Takes some weird risks that attempt retrofit current events into the show’s 2015 setting, and while not all of them work, the ones that do pay off massively. Plot mechanics are secondary to atmosphere, character, and theme. The cast is great as ever, and this year Bobby Cannavale joins the fray, which is never a bad idea.

8 Insecure S2 Continues to use top-notch production values and writing to explore lifestyles and perspectives previously ghettoized on TV, relegated to peripheral channels and the lowest of low budgets. Issa Rae’s performance is reliably loveable despite her character’s constant questionable decisions, but Yvonne Orji truly makes the show. Somebody cast her and Tiffany Haddish in something together asap.

7 Better Call Saul S3 Slow, methodical, pulpy, consistent. Another solid season of intricate, character-driven puzzle-piece storytelling.

6 American Vandal S1 The funniest entertainment of any type I consumed all year, and surprisingly thematically resonant as it progresses toward its conclusion.

5 Master of None S2 As funny, romantic, and charming as its creator. Tackles some surprisingly heavy subjects, has gained significant poignancy after cultural shifts that came later in the year.

4 The Deuce S1 An even seedier iteration of David Simon’s expansive storytelling style than The Wire, the period details of this show are casually perfect; unshowy and lived in. The Deuce convinced me that James Franco is one of our greatest living actors, on the level of someone like De Niro in his prime. Franco plays twins, and though they look and sound exactly alike, his slightly varied physicality always makes it clear who each is.

3 The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel S1 Such fun. A romantically stylized 1950s New York period piece starring a woman who should be, and might yet become, our biggest movie star. Nicely balances light comedy and light drama. Watching feels like cuddling up in a warm blanket.

2 Twin Peaks: the Return Mystifying, hilarious, infuriating, horrifying, wonderful.

1 The Leftovers S3 Not just the best season of television this year, but one of the greatest of all time. I have never been more satisfied by a finale. I refuse to write more lest I spoil anything. If you have not watched this show, watch it. The first season is flawed and difficult. The second is perfect, and so is the third. If this show’s premise even remotely appeals to you, watch it.

Favorite Episodes 12 “Amber Waves” The Americans S5E1 Bold start to an ultimately weak season. Features a ten-minute sequence during which a group of characters silently and methodically dig a hole, and somehow it is almost impossibly dramatic and exciting to watch. Here’s hoping the show picks up again for its final season next year.

11 “Chicanery” Better Call Saul S3E5 A courtroom episode rife with familial drama and series history exploited to maximum effect.

10 “Prodigal Daughter” Easy S2E6 A small, deeply humanist story of a high school girl discovering what she values, and how she wants to manifest those values. Lovely.

9 “Chapter V” Dear White People S1E5 Builds tension to a fever pitch using dialogue, editing, and camera techniques  downright orchestral. Directed by Barry Jenkins, of Moonlight fame.

8 “Part 8” Twin Peaks: the Return Several professional writers called this David’s Lynch’s Tree of Life, and I can’t describe it more succinctly than that. Lynch traces the origin of evil in his universe in a way no person who ever lived would except him.

7 “Who Rules the Land of Denial?” Fargo S3E8 For the bowling alley scene alone.

6 “eps3.4_runtime-err0r.r00” Mr. Robot S3E5 A bravura, (faked) single-take episode that brilliantly uses transit time to build tension.

5 “eps3.7_dont-delete-me.ko” Mr. Robot S3E8 The opposite of bravura; Elliot walks around with a young boy for most of the episode, and it is even more kinetic and exciting than the one with the single take.

4 “Amarsi Un Po'”/“Buona Notte” Master of None S2E9/E10 Heartbreaking. Aziz Ansari’s tribute to the Before Trilogy, and, let’s be honest, the Elevator arc from Louie, is brutal in its exposure of emotional truth. The chemistry between the leads makes the whole thing work.

3 “Part 18” Twin Peaks: the Return The finale. Mystifying, infuriating, horrifying, wonderful. Decidedly not hilarious.

2 “Thanksgiving” Master of None S2E8 A deeply-moving short film exposing a type of hardship so specific that I’d never seen it depicted before. The ways Ansari marks the passage of time throughout this story… just astounding.

1 “The Book of Nora” The Leftovers S3E8 Perfect. There is a monologue here with more story and gravitas than entire seasons of other shows, great ones. Watch The Leftovers.

[chillsmicrofrog1-blog]

Classroom Afterthoughts 2: Neo New, Humanity of Tomorrow

Now to look intoa very interesing topic:the Fascinatingly controversial world of Transhumanism, this has been portrayed in many ways throughout the years in many forms of media such as Movies and Video games, though the consensus around said topic is surpisingly quite mixed to this day. 

According to philosopher Max More, “Transhumanism is a class of philosophies of life that seek the continuation and acceleration of intelligent life beyond it’s current human form and human limitations by means of science and tecnology, guided by life promoting principles and values”, by all means it is advertised as a way to bring about the continued prospering of humanity’s Ingenuity, by utilizing the power of technological advancement in order to continuously improve the human condition, it is described by those who don’t view it in the overly romantisized hollywoodian light of “those who trade their humanity for power are evil” as “an extension of Humanism” from which it is partialy derived,  Humanists believe that humans matter, that individuals matter. We might not be perfect, but we can make things better by promoting rational thinking, freedom, tolerance, democracy, and concern for our fellow human beings, Transhumanists take these statements and attempt to bring about a new form of it’s practice, “if we can always apply the best of human ingeniuty to improve things around us better then why not do so with the human body itself?’’Not only by utilizing conventional methods such as educational and cultural development but as well with technological means, extending our capabilities beyond what some would think as human, hence the name. 

I took interest in this topic after a class presentation involving it, although we heard of many a movie and Video Game that refferenced the possible impact of the Transhumanist philosophy on our way of life as we know it but some might call it a crime to leave out the defacto Prime Ancestor of Transhumanist Science Fiction, the one that inspired all other Works of it’s nature to continue to wonder about what it truly means to be human, I am of course talking about 1995′s Ghost in The Shell by Shiro Masamune, perhaps considered te most timeless of all works of sci-fi. The Transhumanist Philosophy has long imagined a world in which technology unbinds the conscience from the body. Until the turn of the 21st century however these physical changes were thought of as nothing more than just that: physical. The ascension of the internet as a social dimension has already brought to the fore such possibilities, even as the field of bionics stays somewhat behind the advances hoped for it by now.

The original OVA predicted lifelike robotic bodies in 2029 which at this point is mostly considered improbable but humans live for subverted expectations so I’m sure we can figure something out in 12 years, in any case though I bring up the original 1995 release in spite of the 2017 Live action adaption for reasons described in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1VGsL1tz9A 

Within the world of Ghost in the Shell cybernetic enhancement is commonplace, at bare minumum all citizens of New Japan are augmented with mental implants (cyberbrains) to allow them to access the network that connects all systems. The many who can go further by upgrading their bodies with implants such as robotic eyes or limbs or organs, in fact, the only biological parts our protagonist, Major Motoko Kusanagi, still has are her Brain and Spine, the resultant alienation is sharp enough that the former is called the “ghost” and the latter is known as the “shell” hence the title, a literalization of the originally coined term by philosopher Gilber Ryle: “ghost in the machine”, a critic to dualism. The plotlines in the OVA deals with advancements in cybernetics that further blur the line between objective experience and virtual consciousness.

In the case of 1995’s Ghost in the Shell, this complication emerges in the form of the Puppet Master, a feared hacker so skilled that he can even alter cyberbrains, and who is later revealed to be not a man but an artificial intelligence. Originally created by the government, he has since gone rogue and at one point demands asylum from recapture on the basis of his sentience. Met with an official’s incredulity at this, the Puppet Master challenges: “Can you offer me proof of your existence? How can you, when neither modern science nor philosophy can explain what life is?”

The Major herself embodies this theme, speculating at multiple points about the extent of her humanity. (Though Ghost in the Shell is remembered primarily as an action movie, it actually has more philosophical monologuing than chases or firefights.) She doubts at times whether she ever had a real body, speculating that she herself may have been built, like the Puppet Master. Sometimes she’s more lighthearted about her condition, joking about it being her “time of the month,” though we see in the sequence depicting her body’s construction that she does not have even a facsimile of genitalia.

The Major defies traditional definitions of gender, in fact, accepting “she/her” pronouns and exhibiting a form we think of as “feminine” but bearing an androgynous face and performing in a neutral behavioral mode in a “male” profession among all-male colleagues. This is not to say that the film denies her femininity or ignores the ramifications of such. In one scene in which Kusanagi, ponderous as ever about her identity, wanders the city, she spots several other individuals who look exactly like her — others in her body’s “line,” so to speak. Here we have both a comment on the commodification of the female body and the most explicit demonstration of digital selfhood. The physical is stripped away, erased by humankind’s capability to mass-produce it. Thus is an individual defined wholly by their mind. 

Ultimately, the Puppet Master offers the Major a way to bypass her existential crisis by merging her consciousness with his to create a new being, joining him as a bodyless mind. This is the promise, in theory, of the internet. Of course, we don’t use cyberbrains to access it, and while we can leave our racial or gender identities behind as we use it to interact with others, our ability to physically manifest such transcendence is still limited. But does that matter? As ideas about the constructed nature of race, gender, etc. proliferate, we advance toward a state wherein we can in fact erase such boundaries purely through force of will. Whether society can actually progress to that point, or how long it will take to do so, remains to be seen. And there will be hiccups along the way, such as Hollywood filmmakers defending problematic casting on questionable ideological grounds. In the meantime, Ghost in the Shell remains to help us think our way Although I have not watched or read ghost in the shell I do believe it’s reputation precedes in a manner that deserves to be heard about. 

References listed here: http://whatistranshumanism.org/ 

http://bionic.ly/list-of-biohackers/ 

Special mention to https://hyperallergic.com/369060/transhumanism-and-the-promise-of-the-bodiless-mind-in-the-original-ghost-in-the-shell/