#I have actually banned people for actual server rule violations and knowing they're about to be removed

[gauntletqueen]

isn't banning people based on "vibes" a conservative way of thinking? Idk I feel like forcibly removing people in your community who didn't do anything based on your idea on what's normal & fear that they COULD be dangerous is a justification for alot of right wing politicians & a basis behind xenaphobia.

Its literally a talking point of our oppressors.

First off there's something funny to me about seeing me retweet something on twitter and then going to my tumblr to respond to it anonymously

Second off, you're making big assumptions on what these vibes might be and what reasons streamers and other online creatives might have for removing people.

Here's some examples of people I've banned from my community discord server based on vibes:

Someone who only ever cared about talking to me, and never acknowledging anyone else in the server. They acted far too familiar with me despite me not knowing them, and continuously sent me DMs where they roleplayed things like hugging me. I explained why all of this behavior was not appreciated but they never listened. Classic parasocial behavior but none of it was against the rules. I still removed them based on vibes because they made everyone, especially myself, very uncomfortable and would not listen when told to stop.

A user who made everything about themself. They would derail every conversation to talk about something they did, often unrelated to the current topic, talk over others to praise themself on something, never listen to other people, interrupt others to talk about how they would've done something better, etc. Not against the rules! But it sure is annoying! I removed them because they constantly brought the mood down by making others feel like they had no place to speak.

Multiple users who only spread negativity. Almost always taking worst faith stances on things, barging into perfectly fine conversations with some overly negative angle all the time, sometimes I'd tell them to stop and they'd say it's just for fun, but it's not very fun when all you accomplish is ruining the mood, is it?

Any time something like this happens, Me and my mods make sure to take the person aside in DMs and explain the situation first, make it clear to them what they're doing wrong, and how we'd like them to stop, and if we still remove them then, it's their own fault. There have been plenty of times where someone was told to stop a certain behavior, and they understood and corrected accordingly.

I'm not removing these people because I suspect they might be secretly right-wing, or phobic, or whatever you're assuming when you say "dangerous", I remove them because they're annoying and don't listen, and I don't want annoying people like that in a simple little discord community that I made for people who like what I do to hang out with each other and have a good time. I have to manage that community and if there's too many problems that becomes hard, and it'll just be a less nice place to be. It's not that deep.

#streaming #vtuber #Unrelated but #I have actually banned people for actual server rule violations and knowing they're about to be removed #they post some way out of right field So Much For The Tolerant Left bullshit anyway last minute #it's kind of funny

[incarnateirony]

What an overview.

So let's see what we have with scripthunt now

Wiki leaking but helping lie about the pilot script to incite harassment she could have stopped at any time.

Wigglebox satellite stalking jensen and whatever the fuck that finale script stunt was and being mad 2po and wiki ever released the script that proved I was right and they were lying, which she implied she would have chosen to hide.

2po lying about--well, everything. First the M&G he tried to retaliate when he was busted lying, then just. You know. Lie after lie after lie easily disproven with receipts. Honestly just like. My whole blog vs his whole blog. My receipts vs his unsubstantiated claims. The 5K he conned people out of and then him and wigglebox lied, is a good start. It's been out for days and he still pretends no one responded.

2po's sources are violent antis that actually were threatening to cut hellers at a con for asking heller questions in a Cockles M&G. This is why his retaliation failed. Because his own sources were drunk, rabid and yelling. So his lies got outted.

working with what's basically a 4chan troll using pepe memes as his "source" against me that is actively doxxing people in a revenge quest to find my sources and not even doxxing "the right people." but sure as shit spamming their contact info into people's inboxes and making public allegations. Openly spent their time trying to get a server to hate on Misha. UPDATE: THEY RESPONDED TO LET US KNOW THEY'RE ACTUALLY A REDDIT TROLL.

An ocean of trolls that feel entitled to break historic LGBTQ DONT OUT PEOPLE rules and trying to blame everyone but themselves, including Misha, after using it to drill in more attacks on Misha. (gestures at the last few days of my inbox, and that's just the like 1/4 i replied to.) This, for the record, is the exact talking point Snot Rag kept trying to re-spin in our server (well, one of them.) So yay. You guys got used by a reddit incel to attack a guy.

Grifting tens of thousands of dollars out of fandom "for charity" which actually just lets them cruise gold panel cons, get something signed, and then return equivalent pocket change for the actual investment to the charity. (scripthunt's whole schtick.)

A good deal of that server is banned and on a revenge quest. Sins include harassing users across multiple channels, obsessive sea lioning and trolling for months on end, and trying to hijack server permissions to delete it.

Sneaking socks into multiple servers, not just mine, just general ongoing violation of privacy and trust. Doesn't end at Misha. All reporting back to 2po.

Oh yeah. Just. Excellent folks.

Update:

@louisianefille

That snotrag person messaged me back in March. Not sure when they got banned from the server, but they sent me a link to a blind item that was supposedly about J*red. IDK what they were up to/where they were going with their messages.

#spnwin #for the creatives in the tag #your tech consultant is leaky af #and involved in hate campaigns against fans #just fyi #supernatural #spn #misha collins #anti antis #scam alert #destiel

[cleverthylacine]

Does anyone on this site know what boundaries actually are? Inquiring Minds.

Okay.

First of all this is not about any current drama.

This has been annoying me since 2018, when I found myself in the midst of a very annoying group of people that I don't hang out with anymore. I've posted about it before.

The immediate inspiration for this post was a post I just saw about sex-repulsed people getting shit for having boundaries.

I do highly admire sex-repulsed people for not shanking some of their inconsiderate friends, but the purpose of boundaries is that you do not take shit, even if you've walked into someone else's shitting party by accident--you GTFO.

Making a request of someone else--even a reasonable one--isn't setting a boundary. Setting a boundary is when you decide in advance what you will do if people continue to do things you don't want to deal with, and if they're people you know and like, you may choose to tell them about it, so they know what their choices are.

For example: "if you keep talking about your sex life while we're trying to eat dinner, I'm not going to eat with you anymore. You already know that I hate that."

Boundaries are something you set for YOURSELF. You cannot set boundaries for OTHER PEOPLE.

If another person's behaviour is not illegal and doesn't violate the rules of the place you're in or the site you're communicating on, the only thing that you can do about it is refuse to be involved. That is a very reasonable choice that I highly encourage.

I can't stop people from being assholes, but I can decide that when people are being assholes in a certain way, I will remove myself from that situation, and then they will not be able to bother me.

A statement like: "You can't do that! It violates my boundaries!" is confusing. What boundary? What are you going to do about it?

Just say, "if you want to smoke, I understand, but I'm not going to stick around and breathe your smoke."

When people are trying to meddle in your life, it feels like they are violating your boundaries, because they're trying to influence decisions that are none of their actual business. That's rude as fuck and you have the right to tell them to stop, but you have to defend your own boundaries when they do.

If somebody insists on ruining the time we spend together by complaining that I don't have the money to do what he likes to do because I spend so much money on fancy clothes (or Transformers, or books) then it's up to me to say, "I'm not interested in discussing my finances with you. If you're not willing to stop, I'm going to go home, because it's not your business and it isn't fun, and while I like to do things with you, I don't want to spend my money on that thing."

You can set boundaries around your space.

But that basically amounts to saying "you can't do that in my house/ comments/reblogs/forum/Discord server. Go do it somewhere else."

Then you have to defend the boundary by blocking/banning/telling the person to leave your house.

The only time when it is appropriate to say that you are setting boundaries for someone else is when you have children who are too young to figure this stuff out for themselves.

You can set boundaries for a three year old around screen time, for example, or how far from the house they're allowed to go on their own. You cannot do this for adults.

Sometimes conflicts are inevitable. If one person's internal boundaries are "Nobody gets to tell me what I'm allowed to talk about" and another person's internal boundaries are "I won't be present for discussions of X thing" then either you don't hang out with each other, or you talk about it, because if the person understands you have a trigger, they probably will make an exception for you, and if not, you don't want to be friends with someone who doesn't care how bad they make you feel.

I highly recommend negotiating around individual personal boundaries with people you like that tend to upset or annoy you too much. It may require some extra discussion if the thing you want them not to talk about is nebulous, particularly if they're autistic or don't understand why some seemingly very different things seem the same to you personally.

For example, I will never understand why people associate conversations about alien biology with conversations about human sexual abuse. If someone doesn't live to be 18, of course they shouldn't have to wait until they're 18 to reproduce. If they all do that, their species will no longer exist by 2042. But I'm happy to not talk about that with people who are bothered by it as long as they don't insist on bringing it up themselves.

"You know that you don't like my opinion on fungal sexuality, so let's not discuss it, Alison. Neither of us is going to change their mind, so let's play cards or watch TV instead."

But the whole concept of boundaries is based on the idea that we can only control ourselves, and our space, and we don't have the right to control other people and what they do on their own time and space.

Which is why I find the concept of antis being all about boundaries laughable. Sure you can have a DNI, but since most people don't stay on tumblr for 15 hours a day, they don't always have time to go read your blog headers--which Tumblr often hides if you don't have a URL--before responding to something they see in a reblog chain. DNIs are a terrible way to protect your boundaries because nobody sees them unless they have time and motivation to go and look.

If someone who is in a group you do not want to interact with tries to interact with you, block them. Duh. No need to explain.

It is rude to tell people you think they have cooties because of what they ship or read or watch or eat. That is how you start a fight, not how you protect your boundaries. Most people respond to this with some variation of "fuck the hell off."

Also, I will never stop being amazed by the people who follow me and turn out to have "proshippers DNI" on their blogs. My sibling in Primus, it says right here that I'm a proshipper, and you followed me.

You have the absolute right not to spend time or energy with people you find unpleasant or offputting, but you have to just not do that. You can't tell people to stop being themselves.

#boundaries #for the love of g-d boundaries #so many of you think that means telling other people what to do #and it really does not #that's the opposite of boundaries