#I do love a no chip au but sometimes I think about the logistics of The Secret Plan

[other-peoples-coats]

Ok, I'm thinking about like, the logistics of a no-chip au, right because...look, I got into star wars via @bytebun's observer's effect and immediately proceeded to write like 80k of mostly nightmare difficulty trolley problems stacked in trenchcoats, this should not be a surprise.

Anyway as far as I can see it there's basically two options when it comes to like, The Whole Vader Situation in a no-chip au:

Option one, aka the chosen one: right from the start, all the clones know not to kill anakin When The Time Comes, he's Marked Out, he's the Specialist Special Boy and don't you dare let him die he's sheevy's blorbo from the Temple and by the Force he will be the next sith apprentice slash...like, idk, genuinely not sure what sheevy's plan was for if anakin didn't by some unlikely event Fall, possibly just stick him in a robo-suit and sith chemical him into it anyway? mount him on the wall like a trophy?? Weird Unethical Experiment Time??? anyway. Option one is the obvious one, right, like, it's a plan, follow the plan, don't fuckin' kill skywalker, all the other Jedi are fucked though, don't get attached!

Benefits of this are: your entire clone army goes into knowing that like, the jedi general they have is Fucked. their time is Finite. there is an expiry date and if it's not in the war it's, well, at the end of the war. Like having a short lived pet, right, like, it's not a surprise when it dies and you kinda know it's only gonna be around for a year or two so there's only so attached you get. If you hate your jedi general, well, it's temporary! you can grit your teeth and get though the next couple of years knowing that you'll get to see the look on their face when you shoot them. Drawbacks of this are: I mean, I guess if clones actually like their jedi it's kinda bad. you have to depend on every single clone not telling their jedi that psst hey you might wanna skedaddle for Reasons. also like, weird opsec, I assume, about the whole 'One Specialist Boy'.

So that's option one. it's the one I see the most often in no chip aus, which makes sense, cause, like, it's canon, basically. as much as a no-chip is canon, at this point. Works nice, gives a lot of room for crunchy angst/guilt/etc, solid option.

Option two, aka bucket of crabs with magnets: this is the one where anakin is not the specialist special boy ever, the One True Blorbo from the Temple. Or at least, not as far as the clones are concerned, who the fuck cares what skeevy sheev feels for Real. This is the option where all the clones know that -- well, most of the jedi are fucked. Most. Maybe one or two select jedi aren't, though, if they can be... talked around. proved to be worth keeping, under The Glorious Empire, even if it requires....a little bit of reeducation afterwards. The Emperor is on the look out for an Apprentice; a couple of Force sensitive attack dogs would be useful, too.

Benefits of this one are: no clone is gonna spill the beans, right. If you hate your jedi, well, they can die as in option one, grit your teeth and wait for the order to come down, and you 100% don't want them knowing about the possiblity of living into the empire because 1)opsec etc 2)they have to die bc the idea of being in The Glorious Empire but Master Jackass is still fucking around is like. a nightmare. fuck that.

If you like your jedi, though. You're not gonna spill the beans, either. Because you like your Jedi, and that means you want to give them the best possible chance at bein One Of The Chosen Few. Them finding out early will get them killed, or they'll share it with the wrong person and get killed.

It also means every battalion is basically pitted against eachother -- or at least, those who like their jedi are. Bucket of crabs but make it an army; there's only so many spots for force senstives in the empire, and there's a lot more jedi than there are spots. You're working with eachother because you want the empire and because you know everyone else wants the empire and the empire is inevitible, but also, your jedi has to survive. your jedi; not the one from the 414th or the 78th or the 631st the fucking 212th; every bit closer to securing one of those spots someone else's jedi gets is a bit closer to your jedi dying in a hail of blasterfire.

drawbacks of this are: your entire army is aware of the upcoming trolley problem, none of them trust anyone else to not pull the lever, and their solution is to shove each other's jedi in front of the trolley in the hopes that their specific jedi will be on the right side of the tracks when the trolley finally passes the junction. Tie 3 million carthorses to a meat grinder and accept that the most control you're really gonna get is a general direction.

Then again; it's a sith plot. probably having some amount of 3 million clones actively trying to ensure that their specific jedi will be the specifc jedi who survives to be part of the empire will turn out fine. what could go wrong.

#star wars #order 66 #no chip au #anakin skywalker #coats originals #coats chats #anyway the idea of clones like. trying to get their jedi to fall but also trying to keep OTHER jedi from falling is making me laugh #I do love a no chip au but sometimes I think about the logistics of The Secret Plan #and just scream forever bc like #when!! was there a class of like HEY THIS ONE: NO KILL HIM #even with chips!!!! is anakin hardcoded friendly???? #like is there an au where he doesn't fall and order 66 goes through #and he's just like. mowing through clones who won't shoot him? #these are the sorts of questions that keep me up at night. #(it's called bucketof crabs with magnets bc like #bucket of crabs but turbocharge the pulling others down right. but also we're all getting out of this bucket.) #bucket of crabs au

[sunflowerdabbles-blog]

hi 💓 could you do one where ben is a regular at this bookshop/coffee shop and he falls in love with this shy girl working there, and he asks her out eventually?

hi, sorry for the long wait! things have been intense lately and i’m not really feeling my best. but anyways! i’m a sucker for bookshop/coffee shop aus so this was really fun and cute to write. hope u like it!! (yeah, it’s ben pining again).

taglist: @luvborhap

*

It wasn’t hard to understand why Ben kept coming back.

The first time he noticed the little coffee-come-bookshop hidden just around the corner of Surrey and Whirling’s Street it was a cloudy tuesday morning and he was driving back home after a meeting with his agent. Not even a particularly exciting one. More of a “hey, you still haven’t got a call back from your last audition but try not to fret about it” kind of meeting; the type that shouldn’t bother him by now and yet still managed to make him feel quite shit. So naturally (and because for some reason it isn’t socially acceptable to get a bit tipsy at ten am), he postponed his original plan of speeding home to maybe hide under the covers for a while and decided to get for a cup of coffee instead.

Lotus’ Coffee, he thought later, was the kind of shop that you just couldn’t miss after you got your eye on it. The smell of freshly brewed coffee, its colourful walls and a strange abundance of plants made it tempting enough to get you on your feet and through the squeaky door. It looked exactly like the place to be whenever things got rough and heavy and you needed to rest your bones a little. (But that’s not what made it special).

That morning though, it appeared to be empty. Just him waiting in line on what seemed like a terribly slow day for everyone. Should’ve stayed in bed with Frankie, Ben thought, his eyes searching around for someone to take his order and landing on a small table, almost completely occupied by a box full of books, all of them carefully wrapped in brown paper and with a note handwritten in the back.

“It’s only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye”, he read, holding a book on his left hand and looking for more with the other, every quote more enchanting than the last and moving him so that he couldn’t help but stay there for a long time.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!”, a voice said quickly and out of nowhere, distracting him from his search and almost making him drop the box to the floor. “I-I really am, sorry. I’m- Mia is taking her break now and I just. Sorry. May I take your order, sir?”

Technically speaking, Ben knows that life isn’t a movie (regardless of how much he wants it to be sometimes). He knows about the logistics behind the camera, the angles and the lighting all working together in a perfectly organized harmony to make a scene between very tired people, that usually only talk to each other between takes, look like the epitome of good-selling romance. But, that being said, sometimes life comes pretty close or, like now, it’s even better.

The timid voice belonged to a woman that looked to be shaking a bit when, wrapping paper and scissors in hand, she made her way to the counter. Lovely, Ben thought, his hands rapidly getting sweaty while he looked at her try her best to hide the rosy colour that rose to her cheeks and spread until the neck of her shirt. Really really pretty, holy shit.

A cough brought his attention back to the menu, his eyes not really catching anything besides the girl standing behind the counter.

“Uhh, sorry. Yeah, what would you recommend?” Subtle. Years of acting school and a good job and that’s the best that he could come up with?

“Oh. Well, clients seem to like lattes lately? We got a new brew this week if you want- if you would like to try it?”

Ben doesn’t even like lattes. He’s more of a large black coffee with one sugar kind of guy because, in Joe’s words, he’s “bitter and soulless like that”. But there’s no way he could say no to this girl. It’s been five minutes and he feels himself stammer whenever he catches her eyes, his hands itching a little by his sides and definitely not because of the cold outside.

“We have banana bread too? With chocolate chips”

A woman after my own heart, fuck.

“Sure, that sounds perfect”, he replied, an actual full sentence this time, his chest feeling lighter when she gave him a smile before starting to work on his order; the book on his hand suddenly feeling like the most important thing in the world.

“So, was it your idea? The books and the wrapping, I mean. It’s lovely”

Her cheeks got red again and Ben felt like melting; following the movement of her hands and the tiny shine in her eyes like a sunflower would look at the sun. 

“Yeah, I guess? We’re kind of slowly turning into a bookshop as well. I mean, I’m trying to convince everyone else still but it seems to be working, I think”, she giggled, now cutting a piece of bread and placing it in a plate on the table, besides his latte (a latte, Lucy would be so proud).

“So, an English major then?”, Ben chuckled, his smile growing impossibly larger when it made her laugh, raising her hands in surrender.

“Would you like to take one? The books in the box. Some of them are quite old but they’re incredible, I promise. Can’t go wrong with a book”.

Ben would have bought the whole box, honestly, but he chose two in the end: the one that caught his eye first and another, a lot heavier, that he noticed made her eyes sparkle so brightly that he knew he was onto something (and someone) very special. He had never met someone so breath-taking and astounding (and that was saying something considering his line of work or whatever); someone that seemed to hide a bit under the shadows and yet beamed light without even realizing it.

A latte had never tasted as sweet as when [Y/N] told him her name, and offered another piece of banana bread.

*

Safe to say, Ben started spending a lot more money on coffee and books after that, and he wasn’t very subtle if the looks that Mia, [Y/N]’s co-worker, and even Lily, the cat that made the shop her very own castle, gave him had anything to say in the matter. But he just couldn’t help himself. The first three weeks, when he was still in London, he stopped by as much as he could (basically every day she told him she would be there?) while trying his best to not come off as a creep; absolutely fascinated by the way she talked, sometimes stumbling on her feet when Lily walked between them and demanded to be pet immediately. And just like that, he caught himself being jealous of a cat and started reading so many books, sometimes well into the night, that he had to start using his prescription glasses a lot more frequently; only to feel like he could burst when he stopped by the shop the next morning and [Y/N] brightened up upon seeing him, knowing that they were possibly going to spend hours talking about his latest read and basically everything and anything that crossed their minds, all while the coffee brewed and Lily made herself a bed on their laps.

But he couldn’t muster up the courage to ask her out just yet. Not even when he had to leave for filming during a couple weeks and his list of books had to wait a little. But then again, how do you tell someone that they’re pretty much the only thing you can think about?

*

“He’s so obvious about it, you know”, Mia said, putting all the dirty cups and spoons on the dishwasher, completely exhausted after having to deal with all those people, using her best costumer voice, during rush hour.

“Who are you talking about now?”, [Y/N] asked, having just arrived and trying to eat lunch (a chicken sandwich with lettuce, very fancy, gourmet level and all that) as fast as she could so they could go over the inventory again.

“Ben, of course. He likes you a lot”.

Of course. As if there wasn’t any doubt, as if it was so incredibly obvious it should have it her like a brick in the face by now; as certain as the sky is blue and the grass is green.

“He does not, don’t be silly”, she replied. It was too good to be true after all, more like her deepest thoughts and longings but not so much like the truth, even if she wanted to believe it more than anything.

“Uh-uh, but he does though! He really does! I mean. I told you about yesterday. He’s been back in London for like, what, a day? And the first thing he did was come here. He reeked of airport, [Y/N]. When I told him you weren’t here because someone-”, Mia continued, pointing at Lily, currently purring on [Y/N]’s lap and trying to shove her tail under her nose, “just had to be a huge cockblock and go to the vet- Anyways. He looked so sad I thought he-”

“She needs routine check-ups, Mia!”, [Y/N] interrupted, “You know that. Don’t you, Lily darling?”. The cat in question continued to purr, glaring at Mia with a surprisingly menacing look.

“You’re deflecting. This little beast here could have waited just one more day and you know it! The only reason you didn’t let me take her in the first place is that you’re scared of what could happen because you know that lover boy is so crazy about-”

“Hi there! A hello would be nice, I think”. The door made a loud squeaky sound and let Ben in, his hair looking wet and looking way longer than the last time [Y/N] saw him, holding a bag in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other, looking like he was trembling a bit even though it was surprisingly sunny outside.

“And we’re taking our break now!”, Mia exclaimed, clapping in excitement and taking Lily from [Y/N]’s lap and into her own arms, much to the cat’s dismay, before rapidly walking into the back room.

She runs to hug him before she could even think about it, feeling truly warm and at home for the first time in weeks; the water droplets falling from his curls and into her neck.

“I-brought you something”, Ben said, hiding his face under her jaw for a second and then signalling to the presents still hanging uncomfortably in his hands, “Or well, two- various things, actually. I remember- you told me once, that morning that it was pouring outside, remember? I mean- it’s London, of course you do, it rains here all the time. But. That time when Lily was still outside, and it was raining so much you were scared she wasn’t going to come back? And she did, obviously, the little bugger. But- the point is that you told me you named her. And that you chose Lily because you couldn’t come up with anything else and you love lilies, right? Remember that?”. He left the flowers on the table, the bouquet looking fresh and just perfect by the box of wrapped books kept there. “So yeah, I got you these ones? They’re all the colours they had at the flower shop; I think. Anyways. I- that’s not my favourite part, actually. Just- look”

The bag, of course, was full of books; so old that their covers were almost crumbling and the pages, sewed together at some point, so delicate that just a rough touch could break them. “I- the old lady selling them was very nice. They’re really old, holy fuck, but listen. I know they’re some of your favourites. See, there’s a Madame Bovary somewhere in there and I know you love The Little Prince, so I found this french version… I guess, what I’m trying to say is that- I like you a lot, obviously, and I was wondering if you wanted to go out, maybe? But I got to be honest first, I-I don’t really like lattes that much?”

“These- these are some of the first editions, Ben”, he nodded, biting his lip in order to stop his smirk from growing when he noticed her getting closer and closer, her cheeks impossibly red by now, until their noses were almost touching, “ And I prefer tea, by the way”.

#ben hardy x reader #answered asks #drabbles and ramblings