#I am visiting my mum and stepdad again soon so I’m planning to only bring a little and then try detox

[boyghcst]

I rlly wanna be able to not smoke weed but I just dunno if I can honestly. Like I’ve been sober maybe for a week or two before last year and I felt happy w myself I went that long but I also was in England visiting my family so I didn’t have any left to smoke anyway

#but I just struggle to stop #I end up smoking again and bc all my friends smoke i can’t say no bc i like getting high and doing it w my friends #but i lit smoke everyday even when I’m out i end up hanging w friends and smoking #it’s prob been like 3/4 years now I’ve been smoking #ik its not good for my body or mind #I do kinda wish there was somewhere I could go like a local MA bc I do rlly struggle #but it’s like part of me is just too scared to be sober and have to deal w thoughts and anxiety and depression etc #I am visiting my mum and stepdad again soon so I’m planning to only bring a little and then try detox #but I just know it’ll end up smoking again when I get back and hang w friends #and it’s not their fault or anything I haven’t communicated it and I don’t think I will bc ik deep down tht would cut it off completely #like I technically could delete my dealers numbers but then ik ill end up asking for them again bc I just do tht #I’m so bad at saying no and being impulsive and making bad decisions it’s like my brain just dgaf #idk how ppl do it fr #I don’t believe when ppl say weed isn’t addictive tbh bc it defo has been for me #journal