#I CANT EVEN SPELL KNG G | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

this-is-my-main-i-follow-from · 3 years

Text

i just sepnt WELL OVER AN HOUR working on stuff that doesn’t even work

I’m SO FUCKING MAD I WANT TO FUCKING KILL SOMEBODY preferably me & I’M ALSO APPARENTLY ON MY PERIOD? WELL NO WONDER I’VE BEEN DEPRESSED AS HELL THESE DAYS!

I honestly wonder what heppened i CANT EVEN FRICKING SLPEL what hallened to make me get emotional like this while menstruating. I never had this problem before. Al lmy weird emotions just came from the fact that I find them annoying & uncomforable & painful & groww & dysphoria inducing

Well

Maybe my doctor will listen to me if I tellhim tht yeah my period makes my fricking suicidal it makes me want to relapse into self harm huh tht’s bad? well mabye you should let me transition then you crow begotten maggot filled barely wualified doctor!

I’m giving up on in trousers

in trousers is dead to me

so are whizzer (it’s funny bc he’s actually dead) & blowjobs & music & swing dancing

all gone

yy IT’S just me accidentally hitting the caps lock button instead of the a button because tha’ts thust what I need

This is why I want to fond a good drug dealer. I want to be able to control my anti depressants as I see fit & take extra stimulants when I need them & get access to blCK market testosterone & stuh up everyone around my what’s not even a song you’re just whistling nothingnessss

I just want to cry

but I never cry

well

too bad for me

maybe if ai can’t cry through my eyes i can cry through my skin

borine

ihate how I groip on to these things that happened whan I was a kid. like in 2nd grade I was the best speller & the teacher would sen kids to me to help them spell their words. I used to read nocels in one sitting by staying up all night just to read. I used to be flexible & thin & active & I could plaay on the moneky barfs & go climbing in the mountains but now I can’t to any of thar. It’s not even that in 2nd grade I was at 3rd grade level & now everyone in total is past 3rd grade level it’s that if I was at 2nd grade level now i’m at 1st grade level. How is it that people get worse? it doesn’t maek any sense, ppl should be improving constantly that’s what makes a good story, scharacter growth, development, improvement. but of course then they get perfect & boring but you don’t want to undo all your work & besides people don’t go backwards so whu I am going backwards>

I somtedimes just want to die but I know that in general that’s not a good idea

but like

in times like this I see how much I’m astruggling instead of blinding myself to my issues with anti depressants & anti anxietyes & please jp shut the fuck up your whistling is so damn painful i forget what i was saying so I’ll just leave this here & maybe to idk watch youtube or write a fic or no none of that i don’t want to do anything I just want my things to be fixed but u know what even than I don’t think I would want to get back into working on it. im not particularly interested anymore fucking adhd i had the motivation to do smth I thought would be really cool but now looking back it’s not even that cool & it’s unfinished & it’s just iknda fully shitty overall and i need to use words because k an d i need to think m these sounds or say them otherkwise my mouth gets anxiety which doesn’t make sense but idk why i need to make d these sounds fuck this im just g so mad g k ng b d why i hate making useles sounds it doesn’t make sense why am i getting tics i thought I was done with those & moving bak on to some other side effects which b k g ng nmara ok kk kng move over in cycles bc the meds make no sense idk what i was saying but juct cux gkmnlrg siblings were talking 7 being annoying nobody can read this anymore esp w.o grammar & puinctuation hoh lool ka da na ma ga re fa rha la ya words i need to say lol why do I need o say them?? I wonder if I ever commit a murder I would be deemed insane?

#dom personal #s**cide #s**f h**m menion #murder mention #rant post

3 notes · View notes