#Finally beat this motherfucker and the game so I can nap easily

[aseuki]

Sleep power coming in clutch

#kirby #kirby and the forgotten land #katfl spoilers #hoshi no kirby #morpho knight #hoshi no kaabii #Finally beat this motherfucker and the game so I can nap easily #hey did u know if u nap u can get double the hp #i. forgot about this #until I went 'wait I'm supposed to be dead why am I still going' #some may ask #'but Aseuki you cosplayed Morpho how did you not finish the game yet' #LISTEN #I am. #the Worst Gamer Alive #I needed to collect all the dees #you expect me to abandon all the wawas #like some kind of MONSTER??? #inconceivable #aseukiart #fanart

[scullyy]

Days With You / Chapter Five

Chapters: Chapter One / Chapter Two / Chapter Three / Chapter Four / Chapter Five

Pairing: Clementine x Louis

Word Count: 3000

Summary: Clementine eagerly returns to her favourite sport; Baseball. It isn't easy to focus when your boyfriend is cheering you on from the sidelines, and when your father figure still doesn't know the two of you are dating...

A/N: FINALLY IT ONLY TOOK ME MONTHS! Thank you so very much for being patient as I wrote this. A lot happened in my personal life during production that made it difficult for me to focus. This was a fun chapter to write though and I hope you all enjoy :))

-

"Baseball sucks,"

"You suck."

"Not as much as baseball."

Violet sat herself down in the tiny seat, being forced to squish herself in next to Louis and Mitch. She mentally prepared herself for the 'bro talk' that would be taking place over the next two hours. The rowdy group of teenagers sitting behind them didn't make matters any better. Clementine better win.

She peered at the field on the other side of the rusty gate, trying to spot her friend amongst the hoard of other players. Various team members were huddled together like crowds of zombies. Weird. "So, do you think her team is gonna win?" Violet threw another chicken nugget into her mouth, savouring the crunch.

Louis rolled his eyes. "Clem is undefeated, she'll kick all their asses," He didn't take his eyes off the small girl standing by the batting cage. Of course, he could point her out immediately amongst her teammates. "We just have to cheer extra hard for her."

"Hear you loud and clear." She saluted dramatically. Baseball still sucked to her, but Clementine did have some serious skill with a bat. If she ever had to bash some heads in, oh boy she would leave nothing but mush behind.

"Is this seat taken?"

Louis glanced at the man towering over him and almost jumped in his seat, immediately swiping a hand through his tangled dreads to cool himself off. "We were saving it for you, Mr Everett."

Lee smiled gratefully at the boy and nabbed the seat, little AJ sitting right beside him. Another tall man and what seemed to be his wife sat with Lee. Louis couldn't place him, but that beard was glorious.

"Hi Louis!" AJ cheered. These games excited him more than he could put into words. He got to see Clem and all her cool friends!

"Hey little dude," Louis waved at the cute kid, he always brought a smile to his face. "How you been Mr Everett?" He accidentally squeaked out, so much for keeping his cool.

'Also I'm now dating your daughter and I'm still not sure if you like me ever since you caught me sneaking in once during high school. I only wanted to get my jacket I SWEAR-'

The wise man kept his eyes on Clementine, nothing could wash away the pride he held for her. She had been through hell and returned a stronger girl. "Teaching at a university isn't easy, so you better be treating your professors well." He teased. It wasn't often that he did so, but when he did it sure packed a punch.

The younger man couldn't help the unease that came upon him whenever Lee was around. He was a good man, one of the greats even. He and Clementine agreed to tell Lee about their relationship together, only for the simple fact that neither was sure if Lee actually liked Louis and if Clem was there she would be able to diffuse the situation much more smoothly than Louis.

Still didn't stop Louis from turning on the charm as best he could. "I'm a star student, sir-"

"You're not a teenager anymore Louis, you can call me Lee,"

"Sure thing...Lee," It felt weird to even enunciate. After years of having to call his own dad 'sir' the word fell from his mouth so easily around men older than him. "So...you keen to see Clem?"

Lee made a typical low-grunt dad noise as he shifted in his seat. Who made the decision to make these things out of cheap plastic? "Always am. Y'know, she always gets nervous before something big, but she still pulls through no matter what."

Louis wondered what it would be like to have a parent be immensely proud of you. To not keep your head low and wonder what words would set them off...what a foreign feeling. He would have to give his mother a call and ask if she was proud. He would have to give her a call, period. "Yeah, she's a tough one."

The girl didn't feel so tough beneath everyone's gaze.

Clementine swung around her trusty bat through the air, her chest rising and falling rapidly. "Fuck fear...fuck fear." She muttered to herself over and over again in an attempt to rebuild her confidence. Practising at the public batting cage in front of strangers was one thing, but playing in front of a large crowd of people who knew her was still a foreign matter, no matter how often she had done it. The sharp winter wind only beat her down further, making her hands tremble more than what they already were.

"Hey Clem, you cool?" Her coach, Javier Garcia, called out from his spot by the bench. He was the best coach she could have ever asked for, always patient and skilled as hell.

"Just nervous, I'm not sure why." Her eyes flickered over to the group of loud idiots at the bleachers, then again those were her idiots. Willy, Tenn and AJ were screaming their little heads off, Ruby and Brody were beaming with pride. Omar was trying to block out the smell of plastic cheese and cheap meat from his delicate sinuses. Aasim was currently googling 'baseball tactics' so he would have some idea of what was going on. Marlon was somehow taking a nap despite all the noises surrounding them, and Mitch was bored as ever. Boxing was the superior sport. Louis was way too eager to watch her play, being a baseball fanatic himself this was his heaven.

She just had to trust that he wouldn't say anything about their relationship to Lee. Of all the boys she had to fall for, it was the one that had the biggest chance of Lee not liking.

Javi followed her gaze and smirked. "Are they your friends?" He received his answer by how her head fell low. "At least they support you. I know it's been a while since you've played, with school and all, keep a clear head and you'll be fine. Go kick ass, Clementine." Javi gave her a gentle pat on the back before turning back to her other teammates. Ken Junior, known to everyone else as Duck, was clapping like mad.

"You got this Clem!" He called out. Duck and Clementine had been friends since childhood, he always had her back, even if he wasn't the brightest bulb in the box. "Give them a good ol' swing!

Three of her fellow teammates-Layla, Frankie and Elyse-cheered on with Duck.

"I believe in you sista Clem!"

"Give them hell Clementine! Punch them in the tit!"

"You got this!  We stan a strong baseball queen!"

Clementine threw back a thumbs up as she made her way towards the batters' box. "You got this motherfucker, you got this!" She mumbled, a habit she had picked up from Lee over the years. The pitcher rolled his eyes at Clem's small stature as she grounded her feet on the dirty diamond. This team was new to their field, they hadn't seen what they were capable of.

However, Javi's team didn't know what their opposition was capable of either. The pitcher somehow channelled the strength of Zeus as he pummeled the ball on a slight curve, entirely missing Clementine's poorly calculated swing.

"Strike one!"

"Bullshit!" Violet couldn't help but scream at what she deemed injustice. "They can't do that!"

"Yes they can," Louis interrupted her revolt. "Clem just...missed the ball." This wasn't like her, not by a long shot.

The group of teenagers sitting behind them, who had now reached a stage beyond being just rowdy, were laughing at Clementine's aim. "Get her off the field!" A young girl with braces shouted, her hoard all laughed in agreement, throwing bits of their snacks at the fence.

Violet had reached a breaking point with the clique. She slammed her empty nugget box into her drink holder, crushing the cardboard material. With her head held high, she turned to the obnoxious bunch, her eyes shooting fiery daggers at each member. "You shut the fuck up and get your teeth straight!"

Louis quickly pulled Violet back into her rickety seat, yet his smile was full of pure smugness. It was moments like this he was glad to consider her a friend, even if her methods of support were wild.

"Strike Two!"

The keeper's word quickly quelled the group of their excitement. All their eyes turned to the small girl on the field, her knuckles locked in a death grip around the bat.

Clementine wanted to beat herself over the head and then some. She had been practising for this game, what was wrong with her?? She made the deadly mistake of glancing towards Louis, her secret boyfriend, and then to Lee, her dear and clueless father figure. The only thing heavier than the bat was the guilt residing in her head-

Oh, that's why.

She muttered many curses under her breath as the pitcher threw another crooked smile her way. This fucking kid-

"C'mom Clementine! Blast them to space!" Mitch shouted, surprising his friends. They never would have expected him to show this much enthusiasm. He noticed their not so subtle jaw drops. Even Aasim appeared confused by his outburst. "What? I still want her to win."

Louis locked eyes with Clem through the rusty fence. Anyone could see just how nervous she was. Her big curious eyes were brimming with worry. Louis wanted to run through the field and hug her, remind her of just how awesome she was.

But there was both a wire fence and a 5'10 father figure sitting next to him and truth be told was just a tad more scared of Lee, so Louis settled for a childish thumbs up, hoping it would have the same effect.

It somehow did the trick.

Clementine straightened her back like a knight riding off to battle. Her nerves settled themselves as she braced for the strong arm of the pitcher. If Louis believed in her, then what could go wrong?

With a mighty crack, Clem managed to hit the ball and she took off like a shooting star, whizzing past the opposition as they desperately ran after the ball flying through the air. The triumphant yelling from the spectators fueled her fire as her legs carried her over the diamonds with ease. Her lungs thumped within her chest like a hammer against cloth.

"Hurry Clem! They caught it!" Duck hollered. His voice carried across the entire field and switched on extreme flight mode within Clem. If her legs had gone any faster they would have appeared as but a mere blur. Home base was in sight, the final stretch. She noticed a player readying her throwing arm, the white ball within her grasp.

With one final bound, Clementine skidded to the ground, her left leg slammed down onto the dirt, kicking it up behind her. She couldn't help but cry out at the rough collision, it fell upon a distracted crowd who were too busy cheering. Clementine slowly opened her dry eyes and saw the tired faces of the opposition and the maddening grins of her teammates, she had just made it. She won.

Her teammates charged at her like a herd of wild animals, with Duck leading the group. "We won! We won!" He didn't even try to hold back his enthusiasm, but when did he ever?

Layla fell atop of Clementine, her arms squeezing her in a hug that almost left Clem comatose. "I knew you could do it!" The rest of her teammates all fell into a hug together, even Javi joined in.

"Guys," Clem coughed out. "My leg really fucking hurts." Her friends disbanded just as quickly as they had come together, concerned hands reaching out to the obvious tear running down her pant leg. A guilty rock with jagged edges lay beside her kneecap, specks of fresh blood gleaming off it.

Frankie swung an arm beneath Clementine's shoulder and helped pull her back to the shaded bench. "I'll get some water." He immediately zoomed off to the 'hydration station', leaving the rest of the team to ponder over the injury.

"Can't go one game without hurting yourself, can you?" Javi gently rolled up Clem's dirty pant leg, ignoring her pained whimpers. "Damn, you skidded hard." Speckles of blood oozed from her graze, staining her white pants.

"It's fine," Clem tried to brush the blood away but flinched at her own touch. "I've done worse." She had the scars to prove it. Now she had another story to add to the 'Clementine Injury Hall of Fame', as Louis called it.

Frankie came back with two cups full of water as Javi bandaged Clems' graze. He passed them off to her, surprised and concerned at how quickly Clementine downed both of them. "You alright hon?"

"You need to be careful out there Clem," Elyse spoke up from the sidelines, her eyes staring right at her injured friend. "This. Is. Not. Okay." She clapped between each word for emphasis, her hair bouncing in time

Clementine immediately stood to her feet when Javi finished wrapping her leg. "Don't worry about me, it'll be okay." She walked as quickly and as delicately as she could to the fence, her friends and family waiting eagerly for her on the other side.

"Clem! You won! You won!" AJ shouted at the top of his lungs, making Tenn wince slightly. His little fingers were tugging on the fence until Lee pulled them away.

Clementine tried to ignore the shooting pain as he zoomed up to her leg, clutching it tightly. Of course, he goes after the injured leg..."Thanks, kiddo. It wasn't just me though. Did you see the home run that Duck delivered?" She gently pushed him off of her wound, hoping that no one noticed her quivering lip.

"Humble as ever," Louis grinned. All he wanted to do was run towards Clem and hug her to death just as her team had done, only better. But Lee stood right beside him. If Louis even dared to run to her the man would pull him back by the collar of his coat. "You wanna hear a baseball fact? Apparently, if you sing whilst playing baseball you may not get a very good...pitch."

A predictable hush took over the once buzzing conversation.

"Never hit anyone, never hit anyone..." Violet muttered to herself over and over again to keep her fist at bay from the back of Louis' dumb head.

Aasim huffed as he scrolled through Instagram, his eyes purposefully looking away from the memes Mitch tagged him in. The man couldn't find a meme with any good substance. "I can't believe that man is dating her."

Ah, so that's what it was.

Lee couldn't help but smile as he put together the puzzle. Clem did seem more on edge lately, a little more secretive than usual. His questions about her uni life were always answered the same, "It's fine, nothing new! No one new."

Anyone could see that both Clem and Louis were in some state of infatuation. He looked at her the way every girl wants to be looked at by a man; intrigued and enamoured. "Hey Sweetpea," Lee called her away from her 'not-so-secret-secret' lover. "So, when were you gonna tell me about you and Louis?"

It was almost laughable how quickly the colour drained from her face, reminding Lee of when she was eight and got caught putting bugs on Ducks pillow during a camping trip. It was the face Lee had seen from many of his students when they "forgot" about an assignment; the timeless face of someone who had gotten caught.

Clem coughed away the lump in her throat, suddenly finding her mouth very dry. "How did you-"

"Your friend Aasim just gave it away, but I like to think I'm smarter than you give me credit for. I had a feeling there was something going on with you two. I love you Clem, but you're not subtle." He pulled her cap down below her eyes, purposefully embarrassing her.

Clementine immediately fixed her hat, revealing her freshly red face. There was no lie in his words, she was as subtle as Brody's full brim hat. "Whatever. You're not mad that I didn't tell you?"

"I kept a lot worse from my parents when I was your age," Lee shuddered to think of the secrets he and his brother kept in their youth. "I could never be mad at you Clem. Besides, you can do a lot worse than Louis."

Said boy went on a whole fucking trip with that. His head buzzed as he tried to decipher the mixed message. "I'm gonna take that as a compliment."

"Your ego is already big enough," Violet quickly chimed in as she grabbed Clem's attention. "You ready to head back to our dorm? I think you could use a shower." She gestured to the dirt along Clementine's cheeks, giving her faux freckles.

"Sure, I feel really gross," She giggled alongside her best friend before turning back to Lee. "I'll give you a call later, cool?"

Lee gave her a firm pat on the back. "Sure thing Sweetpea."

With his newfound sense of confidence (and comfort), Louis proudly took Clem's hand within his own. "Catch you later Lee! I can call you that now! No takebacks!"

AJ ferociously waved back to Clem and her friends. "See you later!"

Ruby and Brody fawned over how cute he was as he trotted alongside Lee. Both girls were emitting what Louis had dubbed 'big uwu energy'. They were often prone to it.

Lee quickly turned back to the duo, his finger pointing directing at Louis. "If I find out you tried to sneak into her room again I will kick your butt."

#twdg #the walking dead game #the walking dead game season four #twdg clementine #twdg louis #twdg lee #twdg aj #twdg violet #twdg ruby #twdg anf #twdg mitch #twdg willy #twdg brody #twdg marlon #twdg omar #twdg tenn #twdg season 4 #clouis #louisentine #clem x louis #fanfiction #xscullyx

[viciousdenofsacrilege]

A short drabble that doesn’t fit into Let’s Review

Penny fucking hated the tower’s occupants. She hadn’t met them all yet, just a small group, but they were all fucking lunatics. “Why are you so bummed?” What she wanted to say was, “are you stupid, why do you think?” But that wasn’t sweet. 

Penny woke to the sound of booming laughter and clinking glass. The Super Smash Bros theme song was playing and she could smell popcorn and beer. She shifted slightly, coming to realize she was laid out on a couch, and it shifted in response. Her eyes snapped open, hoping she wasn’t going to wake up lying on another person again, only to feel even more confused when it turned out that she was, in fact, mostly on a couch but also partially on top of two separate people. Her legs were splayed over the lap of a dark skinned man holding a beer bottle in one hand and a Wii controller in the other while her head was propped against a giant’s thigh. 

“Penny dear, you’re awake!” The Giant’s voice fit his size, booming loudly like the laughter that had woken her and he leaned over her head to make eye contact. 

He had long blond hair, one blue eye and one brown, and a beard. His bicep was the size of her head and she was pretty sure he could take Steve in a fight if given the chance. 

“Hey girl, you took a helluva nap,” the man holding her feet brushed the cold bottle he held against her bare ankle, grinning when she squealed and wheeled back against the Giant, “wanna play Smash? Pete just went to grab a soda but we still need a fourth.” 

“You said I could be fourth!” She recognized the sound of Clint’s voice coming from somewhere behind the couch, accompanied by the sound of something hitting the floor, “awh, pizza, no…” 

“Yeah, I’m gonna choose a motherfucker who can’t hold onto a slice of pizza,” an empty beer bottle from the coffee table was sent flying back over the sofa and by the sound of it, nailed Clint dead on, “besides Peter says Penny’s really good, I wanna see.” 

“Nobody beats Penny at Smash, Sam,” her brother rounded the couch and despite her bafflement, relief settled over her; Peter was still in reach, still okay. He plopped onto the floor in front of the couch and reached back over his shoulder to hand her a can of cherry coke, “we’ve got popcorn too.” 

Penny hesitated for a solid thirty seconds before taking it, “what’s going on?” 

“Oh, sorry Penny, I’m Sam and that’s Thor,” he motioned to the man she was now pressed against in her attempts to get away from the cold bottle on her ankle, “you were asleep on the couch in the living room but Peter said we probably wouldn’t wake you up very easily so we figured there was no need to move to the game room.” 

“They live in the tower too,” Peter stated, not looking over his shoulder but knowing Penny would catch on, “friends with Tony.” 

Penny’s lips twisted in disdain and she pulled away from Thor, slithering off the couch without stepping on Peter, “gross. I feel contaminated.” 

“Contaminated? With what?” Behind the couch was a full bar, where Clint was settled with a drink in his hand. 

“You really don’t want her to answer that,” Peter cut in before Penny could answer, seeing the scathing look in her eye. 

Penny took a moment to look around, finding herself irritated by how nice the ‘living room’ was. There were several couches and reclining chairs, a TV bigger than the windows in her apartment, a full bar, several bookcases filled to bursting, another bookcase with board games of all things, and a long dining table settled behind the bar. She could save all the money she made for the rest of her life and never be able to afford anything so nice. 

“You might as well get it out of your system before Steve and Buck get down here,” Sam stated with a shrug, “JARVIS told them as soon as you woke up.” 

“JARVIS?” Penny tried not to let the betrayal seep into her tone. 

“Forgive me, Ms. Parker, I was instructed by Master Stark to inform the soldiers once you woke. T-minus 20 seconds until arrival.” 

Penny twitched her nose, gritting her teeth brutally before leveling a look at the men in the room, “Your kind of evil only begets agony and you have deserved every ounce of suffering you’ve ever experienced, plus that of those you have wronged.” 

The elevator doors opened just as she finished, exposing Steve and Bucky to the room. Clint, Sam, and Thor all felt a sense of dread come over them as the soldiers moved forward to pull Penny into their embrace, ignoring the resentment on her face. It felt like she’d just laid a curse on them, which was stupid because curses weren’t real but fuck. 

“We’ve got some things to show you babydoll,” Bucky managed to catch Penny’s attention with a beaming smile, “I really think you’re gonna like it.” 

“Come on, to the apartment,” Steve cast a wave to the others in the room, “We’ll be back down later for movie night.” 

The three disappeared into the elevator, leaving behind an ominous feeling. Well, except for Peter, who was unmoved by Penny’s dark words. 

“Hey, Peter,” Clint finally managed the words after a moment, “Penny’s not like… a witch, right?” 

“Huh? No of course not,” Peter turned to face them, an innocent look on his face, “but Penny is always right.”

“Always right?” Thor questioned with a frown.

“Yeah, somehow Penny’s always right.”

#penny drabble #let's review drabble #this is not canon #i wrote it out but it doesn't fit what i need so boom here's a present #file under: reasons my readers should follow me on tumblr #penny inspo

[theliterateape]

As Vegas Re-opens, The Old Scams Are the Best Scams

by Don Hall

With every potential crisis or societal upheaval there will always be those happy few who see each one as an opportunity to fleece the rest of us rubes. I remember in late 1999 the hucksters promising software to prevent Y2K from ending the computing world — for a fee, of course. I recall the snake oil types selling “pieces of the Twin Towers” days after 9/11 as well as loads of tiny American flags.

This isn’t anything new. There will always be the shysters using tragedy or spectacle to make a buck, to scam those who have enough to be easily fooled. Scams are as American as baseball, apple pie, and structural racism.

The pandemic has its unique set of grifters, selling poorly made face masks, faulty COVID tests, and even our glorious Commander-in-Chief trying to pump up some of his stock by touting malaria medication as the cure-all.

In Vegas, we’re a little more used to the swindle given Vegas is built upon its very own set of flimflam designed to distract you with booze, neon, and tits so you lose the mortgage on your house chasing a hand pay.

✶

Attached to the casino is a Days Inn hotel. It’s not high end but it’s clean. After two and a half months of deep cleaning, painting, and regular fumigation, it’s really clean.

When I get called to the room to handle a “guest opportunity” (casino code for “problem to be solved involving tact”) and the guest in question stands in his doorway, complaining that his room has bed bugs, the whiff of bullshit wafts into the desert air.

“This door can’t be locked from the inside. This is unacceptable. And I laid down to take a nap and there are bed bugs. I used to be a health inspector so I know bed bugs when I see them. Look at this door lock. It can’t be locked, you see? I can’t believe this. It’s terrible to come to a hotel and not be able to lock the door and also lay down for a nap and get bitten by bed bugs...”

The hotel is only 30% capacity due to COVID restrictions so I know we have plenty of empty rooms. I listen and give him no reaction (easy with the mask on). He’s very upset. I ascertain that he has paid with reward points so a partial refund isn’t going to work. 

“Let’s move you to another room. We have rooms that have been deep cleaned and fumigated and have been sealed since, so we’ll move you to one of those. Sound alright to you?”

“Can I get a suite?”

There we go. “Let me check if one is available. I’ll be right back.”

A suite is available. My gut tells me that now, having been given a taste, he’s going to see how far he can push it and I’m right.

“It’s a suite, right? And I’m not being charged for it, right? I’m staying for three nights. I won’t have to pay for them now, correct? I mean, this is horrible to have bed bugs. I’d hate to put this kind of thing on social media...”

“Tell you what. For right now, let’s move you to the suite. I’ll have Eco-Lab come out this afternoon and go over the room. If they find bed bugs, I’ll be more than happy to comp your entire stay. If, however, they do not find any trace of bed bugs, we’ll charge you for the upgrade today as well as the remainder of your stay at the suite rate. Sound fair?”

He starts to protest and I hold up my hand as I speed dial Eco-Lab. “Hey. We have a complaint of bed bugs in Room 601. Can you send somebody over today to do a sweep? Yes. Just looking for confirmation of infestation. If there’s no infestation, the guest was mistaken and that will influence further charges. Thanks.”

The next day, I find out he has used his story to get a free meal and asked for another free night because his remote control wasn’t working in the suite. Eco-Lab had come and gone leaving me a detailed notification. Results? No bed bugs. As promised, he is charged for the full deal. I even charged him for the meal.

The game is actually very simple.

- Have in mind your endgame. What is it you want out of your ruse? - Over-dramatize the injury. Warm up with small inconveniences then bring out the True Injury. The more aggrieved you are, the more visible pain you can demonstrate, the better. - Push out beads of victim sweat and threaten to expose your victimization to other potential customers. - When the rube is ripe, go for the ask.

“Hey! HEY! Manager! Hey!” and she snaps her fingers at me.

I’m used to this at this point so I don’t get ruffled.

“I hit the Aces with the side bet and it did not pay me! This is a rip-off or a broken machine or something!”

Modern slot machines are all computer-based so I pop my key in, turn it to diagnostics, and look at the last game played. There are no Aces.

“Hmmm. It doesn’t look there were any Aces on that last play.”

“Well, I played them! Who you gonna believe, the customer or the machine? This is fucking crazy!”

I move the curser over and check the last five games. Still no Aces.

“You calling me a LIAR? This machine is racist!” and she pulls out her phone, points it at me, and starts recording.

“You gonna be on YouTube! This manager called me a liar because I had Aces and it won’t pay me. He says there wasn’t no Aces but that’s some fucking shit!”

I don’t respond. I learned a long time ago that fighting back or defending yourself in this scene is the absolute worst thing to do. I gesture to the screen.

“If you’d like to film the last five games, I’m glad to run them for you for YouTube.”

She steps in. “Don’t get in my personal space! This manager is getting on up on me and I’m not having it! Back up offa me, motherfucker!” By now, her commotion is so loud, two security officers begin to approach. I wave them off. The presence of security officers is only going to escalate this.

“What’s your name? Why won’t you tell me your name?”

“My name is Don Hall.”

“Why you so racist, Don Hall?”

I simply stand there. The less I react, the better.

She holds court, narrating her video about the racist manager and his cheating machine for about a minute. The camera is fixed on me the entire time. Like Ingrid Bergman at the end of Captains Courageous I show no emotion. No defense. No explanations. Nothing. It’s really dull YouTube fare, I figure. I’ve watched enough Public Freakout viral videos to know juicy TV from dead stick.

Finally.

“Are you gonna give me my money?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Can I get some drinks or something?”

“No, ma’am.”

“I’m never coming back here, you racist!”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Have a fine day!” and I begin to walk toward the exit, gesturing her in that direction.

“What? You kicking me out?”

“No, ma’am. I’m indicating to you where the exit is. If you continue to yell in the casino, I’ll ask you to leave. Should you refuse, our security will escort you off the property. You can choose to keep yelling and will no longer be allowed to stay or you can chill out and try to win some money. The choice is entirely yours.”

“This is some bullshit.”

She puts the phone away. She walks to the ATM and gets some cash. She sits down at a Buffalo slot machine and pumps in $20.00. I send over a cocktail waitress and comp her a drink. I figure $20.00 in play and the entertainment was worth a free cocktail.

✶

While annoying because one would love to trust the fellow man, I still have to kind of admire the chicanery involved and the imagination employed to truly spin that tale of nonsense in order to get something for free. I can’t blame someone for using the current fears of the day to finagle a few bucks. I could be wrong but I imagine that in 1918 there were entrepreneurs selling cures for the Spanish Flu in glass bottles and the bunk of the bunkers during the Cold War was a racket to behold.

Without the eager willingness to be taken in by so many, these Masters of the Grift would have nothing so the relationship is consensual on some plane. It’s easier now than in, say, Old Vegas. In the Vegas before corporations, the hoodwink exposed was typically met with a shallow grave in the Mojave or at least a severe beating. Vegas 2020 requires that one be aware and have a more refined bullshit detector.

✶

A call on the radio. A problem in the restaurant.

Sitting by himself, looking like the kind of guy who has been living in the desert alone and jobless for far longer than the COVID shutdown, is the meanderer. He has come in, ordered food, eaten the food, and now is giving the waitress everything from a Wine Club Card to a random hotel key for payment. Apparently, her insistence that these are not cards with which he can pay for his chow does not sit well with him.

As I approach, he is pressing a chunk of white crystal against an old CD and doing his level best at an incantation.

“Excuse me, sir. Are you able to pay your bill today?”

Never looking up from the crystal/CD thing, “Yeah. Of course. This is a fucking diamond.”

“Sir, I could be wrong but I’m pretty sure that’s no diamond.”

“Bull-fucking-SHIT! It’s a diamond.”

“OK. Fine. The restaurant doesn’t take diamonds in exchange for food. Need some cash money for that.”

He gets up and his smell hits me in the face despite my mask. He gathers up things in a backpack. He slowly does a serpentine to the cashier. He takes another random non-credit card and starts swiping it through the Boarding Pass computer (used for our casino players to redeem points for meals). “How many fucking times do I have to pay for this?” he exclaims, pointing at non-existent receipts. “There’s a receipt, there’s a receipt, there’s...”

My security officer takes his picture and informs him he is no longer welcome at any of the Wildfire properties and, should he attempt to come in, he will be arrested for trespass. He laughs.

“Great! At least I got to eat!” and he walks out the door, yells that he wants to bitchslap me, and keeps moving with an obvious strut in his step.

“Fucking freeloaders,” mutters the security officer.

“Yeah. On the other hand, he managed to scam a free meal.”

✶

In a society, regardless of which ism is at play — Capitalism, Socialism, Communism — there will always be Have Nots. There will always be that chunk of society that simply cannot make things work out in their favor. I have a grudging appreciation for those who, when the world refuses to give them a break, get creative and risky in ways that may seem skeevy but still garner them a place in the system.

The more successful con artists in America are wearing suits and live in huge homes. They scam in ways that are no different from lying about bed bugs, crying racism when power or money is desired, or consuming things without payment. The difference is scale and who is harmed by the fraud.

I only admire those large scale hucksters when they make movies about them and mostly when they’re fictional.

#Casino life