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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Jude & Jac

Jude: are you alright? Jac: Not particularly Jude: talk to me then Jac: No offense Jac: but that really isn't going to make me feel better Jude: so do it to make me feel better Jac: What do you want, Jude? Jude: idk Jude: everyone's talking but they're not saying stuff that makes sense Jac: No one knows what they're talking about Jac: they should try minding their business Jude: bit unlikely Jac: I'm not going to give you anything more to report back Jac: I've said all I know already Jude: oi! I ain't running a story for the school paper or owt like that Jude: I'm about the angle whereby you're my sister and I've known your mates for time Jude: it's personal, like Jac: It happened to Is Jac: not me, not you Jac: we can't sit around making it about us, it's not productive Jude: productive? Jac: Don't start Jude: can we get to a place where you tell me what's going on with Izzy or what? Jac: I don't know Jac: some lad creeped on her at the party last night and now her mum is on a mission about it Jude: she's your best mate, how're you not camped out on her front garden?! Jac: Oh great, make me feel bad Jac: she doesn't want to talk, I'm not going to force my presence upon her to make myself, or any of the rest of you, feel better Jude: she needs you, not her ma, what's that woman gonna do? what does she get about anything? Jac: What do you think I'm gonna do Jac: for goodness sake Jude: fuck all if you ain't there Jac: There's nothing to be done Jac: it's happened Jude: that's cold Jude: there's like comfort you could give her Jude: you could be someone that listens to her, if her ma's on such a mission Jac: Like I said, you know nothing Jac: that's all very well you proposing all these nice ideas but I told you, she doesn't want to talk Jac: so this is a pointless conversation Jude: like you heard me say, why aren't you there waiting on her for when she does? Jac: I'm not sitting outside her door Jac: I don't know what you're getting at, to be honest Jude: she'd do it for you Jude: you know that Jac: You're far too concerned with hypotheticals Jac: Like I said, I'm actually trying to be productive here Jude: nah, you're looking out for yourself Jude: being a shitty mate in the process Jac: Fine Jac: happy now? Jude: yeah that's proper cheered me up Jude: ffs Jac: Frankly, you're the least of my worries right now Jac: and that apparently suits you fine so Jac: if we're done here Jude: are you gonna keep replying like this is a business email? Jac: I've got nothing to say Jac: that I haven't already Jude: you've said nowt to me Jac: ask mum and dad Jac: I've got stuff to do Jude: what stuff? Jac: Talk to Sav, everyone else who was there Jac: see what they know Jude: it was her boyfriend's house, yeah? that bit's true? Jac: Yes Jac: it was just a normal house party Jude: did he invite that lad or did he gatecrash? Jac: He was invited Jac: he went to our school, everyone knows him Jude: do you? Jac: Yeah Jac: obviously Jude: if it's who I heard it was then I reckon I do too Jac: Who did you hear it was? Jude: Carter Murphy Jude: he used to be a massive deal far as winning shit for the basketball team but that's not why I know him Jac: I'm not going to confirm or deny Jac: not going to spread the rumours when it's already running rampant Jude: spreading rumours ain't what I'm about either, tah very much Jac: I just meant I'm not saying either way Jude: And I'm just saying if it was him I never reckoned there was anything that off about him Jude: no more than any other older lad who chats to me at parties Jude: wondering if I should've Jac: I don't know Jac: maybe there isn't Jude: but it's not like he'd be rocking a sign saying 'top at beer pong and banter but might force himself on you' at any rate Jac: Well yeah Jac: there's two sides to every story Jude: hang on, you're saying Izzy is lying? Jac: No, I'm saying it's impossible to ever know for definite in these situations Jude: it shouldn't be impossible to take her word for it, unless you've got a reason not to Jac: its hers against his Jude: why would she say he forced her if he didn't? Jude: her ma ain't THAT strict Jac: She was drunk Jac: you know you can think a thing happened one way that isn't necessarily how it was or how the other person saw it Jude: Yeah Jude: but this is a bit different from me getting pissed off at my mates for none of 'em catching me when I thought I'd told 'em I was gonna jump and I'd never Jac: I can have personal opinions Jac: it's not as if I'm talking to anyone or doing anything with it Jac: if her ma wants to take it legal then that's for her to decide Jude: I dunno, maybe you're right Jude: legally, it is her word against his Jude: add in the drink, even if she didn't have that much, it's bollocks but it's bollocks they'd still use Jac: Everyone knows it's pointless going to the police Jac: regardless if it happened or not Jac: don't need to know exact prosecution rates to know it's a waste of time Jude: poor Izzy Jude: whatever happened, everyone's gonna have a personal opinion Jude: and they'll put it about more than you Jac: It's shit Jac: it'd be a better use of time finding a decent counselor Jude: you could tell her that when she's talking to you again Jac: Yeah well Jac: maybe everyone needs to stop trying to tell her what to do Jude: alright, fair Jude: I didn't need to go off on you either Jude: my bad Jac: You aren't the first Jac: don't worry about it Jude: I am though Jude: I don't wanna go out, I don't want you to go out Jac: Come on, don't be stupid Jac: it's not as if there's a maniac on the loose Jac: a boy pushed his luck at a party, it's nothing new, nothing to be scared of Jude: a lad I reckoned was alright Jude: like I said, nobody's got a sign on Jude: everything's gone weird now Jac: People can't be trusted Jac: if you've been going around thinking they can, you're lucky nothing bad has happened to you Jude: some people Jude: you trust Sav, don't you? Jac: I know her Jac: properly Jac: she isn't some random at parties Jude: you didn't know her from birth, like Jac: nothing is ever airtight Jac: obviously Jac: but if she was anything close to what that lad was, it'd be out by now Jude: but if you knew what that lad was like why did you let Izzy go off with him? Jac: Who said I did? Jac: not trusting people as a default doesn't mean I know they aren't to be Jude: well yeah Jac: If she wants to go off with a lad, it's not my place to stop her Jac: or do a background check before she does Jude: would you let me? Jac: We would never be at the same party Jude: I'd never be at one of Sav's Jude: she's at like a 4/10 at this point Jac: I don't care what you think Jude: bit rude Jac: You are Jac: this conversation has nothing to do with her Jude: why are you being so touchy about her? Jac: because this conversation was already close to pointless so I don't need it to get any further off track Jude: I'm bringing some normality back to it Jac: I don't have time for this, seriously Jude: my bad, AGAIN Jude: come on Jac: I'm sick of it Jac: I don't want to talk about this anymore Jude: I know but it's shit when we don't talk Jac: Well Jac: there's not much else going on with me today so Jude: is there owt I can DO then? Jude: dad's camped by the kettle already, like Jac: Keep them busy Jac: I need to go somewhere Jude: no challenge in that Jude: are you going to see Sav? Jac: Tah Jac: yeah, might take a while Jude: is she alright? Jac: No, she's really upset Jac: and her family are driving her crazy Jude: I have just the thing up my sleeve to keep ours busy for time Jude: on you go Jac: Good Jac: in a bit Jude: later then Jude: [skip skip skip] Jude: is Sav still upset? Jude: cos mum and dad are driving me crazy now Jude: they're FUMING 😡🤬 Jac: It's safe to say we're past the point of you needed to distract them Jude: I've got a good work ethic Jude: if a job's worth doing Jac: Very impressive, like Jude: tah, makes one of us Jude: meant to chuck your phone 🚮 you rookie Jac: I have Jac: check the IP address if you really fancy it Jude: 🤓 Jude: how long you gonna take the piss for? Jac: It's not about that Jude: what's it about then? Jac: having time and space Jude: everyone's saying Sav broke up with her boyfriend cos of what happened to Izzy Jude: if she's chucked her phone too she won't know Jac: She broke up with him before then Jac: you can spread that if you wanna Jude: it's nowt to do with me, just saying in case you wanna warn her Jac: Well she's not there to have to listen Jac: if people are tarring Tyler with the same brush as Carter, it'd be the decent thing to do to put that out there Jude: you can't stay away forever Jude: but alright, cos they're saying bad shit about him and all his mates and I don't fuck with that Jac: People might learn to keep quiet if they realize they could be next Jude: bit unlikely Jac: not really Jac: Ty and his friends are popular Jude: not right now Jac: that's my point Jude: yeah I got that Jude: nobody thinks any of this bollocks is gonna land at their feet, that's mine Jude: everyone wants to be special, untouchable and so on Jude: 👑✨ Jac: well if the ⭐s ain't then no one is Jude: I'm here for that, fuck cliques, this ain't America Jac: Unlikely Jude: 🙄😏 Jac: I'm serious Jac: I don't care what anyone at that school thinks now Jude: you don't, your best mate might Jac: She doesn't Jac: it's way below where our concerns are Jac: or have ever been Jude: he's her well recent ex Jude: everyone knows she loved him Jac: Like I said, you can defend his innocence Jac: She dumped him Jude: alright Jude: you ain't found time or space to be less touchy, I get it Jac: I clearly don't want to talk Jac: take the hint Jude: nah Jac: Jesus Jude: you don't get to just do one so easily, take that hint Jac: well I have Jac: and I can log off any time I want Jude: this isn't how you handle shit, anyone with a clue would put money on me legging it before you Jac: then, again, you'd all be wrong Jude: it was all her idea, yeah? Jude: if her family are that relentless you know they'd let her stay Jude: it doesn't have to be some checked in to heartbreak hotel moment Jac: No, it was mine Jac: I don't want to be there Jac: I don't know how you don't get that Jude: nobody wants any of this to be happening but it is Jude: it was you who told me to face up to the fact, how long ago, like? Jac: And I told you, I had things to do Jac: This has little to nothing to do with Isabelle Jude: ❌ running off into the sunset with Savannah off your list then Jude: you ain't missed a day of school in such a properly long time that my mates had that bet running for ages and all lost, remember? Jude: you're the weirdo that goes in 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮🤧💀👻 Jac: Some things are more important Jude: what's so important you need a room with an expensive view to do it in? Jac: Staying sane Jac: not being around to listen to that bullshit and worse Jude: it'll be here when you have to come back Jude: be my sister and pull the 🩹 off Jude: none of this is Jac behaviour Jac: Maybe you don't know me as well as you thought Jude: if in your own words this has nowt to do with Izzy, it's nowt you can't handle Jude: things were bad when you fell out with Mills, you stayed sane and around for that Jac: She didn't get assaulted by nobody Jude: it wasn't your fault that Izzy did Jac: That's not how it feels Jac: or what everyone will say Jude: nobody's saying it and I'd stop it if they were Jac: I'm sick of being treated like I did something wrong Jude: massive dickheads are the only ones who'd try and 1. I'm not gonna let 'em 2. you don't care what people like that think Jude: you're stronger and braver than their bullshit Jac: It's all of you Jac: asking so many questions Jac: Sav's parents want to lock her up Jude: it's mum and dad's job to worry and lay the law down, like Jude: I could've done better with it, alright, I know Jude: but if you reckon Sav's parents are headcases now, leaving it even longer ain't a decent plan Jude: you're the family genius, come on Jac: You worry them, they start to listen Jac: instead of saying how it is and how it's going to be Jude: you're the oldest, everyone knows what that means Jac: We aren't coming back until this calms down and they're willing to be reasonable Jac: that's that Jude: running away don't calm down anything 💥🔥🌪 Jac: Then we won't be coming back any time soon Jac: they're the adults and that's what they need to be about this Jude: what about school? Jac: It doesn't matter Jac: it's not like we have exams or anything soon Jude: school's what mattered most to you since you started going 🤓 Jac: So, I'm smarter than everyone else Jac: I don't need to worry about falling behind Jude: it IS you! Jude: I'm not just talking to a drifter wearing your skin Jac: 🙄 Jude: 😜 Jac: You're an idiot Jude: you'll miss me when you've had your time and space Jac: Unlikely Jude: 💔🥶 Jude: give Sav my love cos she'll 100% miss me Jac: Hilarious Jude: I'll be here all week 🤣🎤 Jac: Sorry to hear that, like Jude: I'll live, like Jac: Would you like me to 💔? Jude: don't fake owt for me Jude: rarely works out Jac: So I hear Jude: well those of us who ain't in the top % have books to read and not like, doodle all over or make planes out of Jude: ✌️😝 Jude: you know where I'LL be if you need ME, we're only fucked on the vice versa Jac: I'd like to say that was a nice try Jude: me too but Jac: Piss poor is more like it Jude: 🥉 Jude: [skip skip skip again] Jude: I can't knock all night, our dear brother will throw his other 👟 at me Jude: you're scaring me Jude: use some big words I can't get my head round Jac: Leave Jude: Jac Jac: No Jude: what happened? Jac: Nothing Jude: something has cos you weren't this person, like, a day ago Jude: and you said you weren't coming back for ages Jac: Here I am Jude: where's Savannah? Jude: you know I'll ask her Jac: No you won't Jude: use a full sentence then Jac: Do not talk to her Jude: why won't you talk to me? Jude: what could be this bad? Jac: Just go Jac: please Jude: I'll be back tomorrow Jude: 🩹 yeah? Jude: longer you leave it Jac: Don't bother Jude: I ain't about to ignore the state you're in Jude: how did she hurt you? Jac: She didn't do anything Jude: who else did? Jac: No one Jude: Then what? Jac: I'm fine Jude: bollocks! Jac: I am Jude: nah Jude: you came in looking like you'd seen a 👻 Jac: don't want to be here Jude: did you and Sav have a fight or what? cos I don't get why you're back if you don't wanna be Jac: she had to come back Jude: do you want me to give her a ring? get her over? Jac: no Jude: you ARE mad at her then Jac: I'm not Jude: if you ain't 🗨 it's cos you're face-to-face Jude: something's off Jude: don't need to be the family genius, like Jac: she's not done anything Jude: have you? Jac: [does not reply] Jude: you can tell me Jude: I'll help you hide her body Jac: Shut up Jude: you talk and I'll listen Jude: what did you do? Jac: I can't Jude: whatever it is, it won't be as bad as it feels right now Jude: she's your best friend, she'll come back round to that Jude: she just needs to be dramatic for a bit Jac: You have no clue Jude: clue me in then Jac: I don't want to Jac: this is my business Jac: what part of this don't you get, just stop it Jude: alright Jude: you still know where I am Jac: 👍

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applegelstore · 6 years

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So we (=my sister plays, I watch her and do other stuff besides) have finally marathoned through Tales of Berseria (only the post-game sidequests left). So here’s excerpts of my final verdict (mostly in contrast to Zesty because sorry but I can’t help it. Plus, it’s the prequel for Maotelus’ sake). Cut for massive length and very heavy spoilers, obviously! No reviews, though, just incoherent ramblings. Many, many incoherent ramblings.

-The plot is indeed kinda more exciting than Zestiria. Which isn’t particularly hard. I mean there are many reasons why I love Zestiria, but the plot (and the villains) sure aren’t one of them. The plot was kinda just… there and didn’t do any harm, but honestly I could just have watched a 200 episode show of plotless party banter and would have enjoyed it just the same. The plot in neither game makes particularly much sense, tho.

-I have a billion questions and somehow most of them concern Zaveid’s gun in both games. Like, how does it actually work? It separates fusings, but it’s the basis for the invention of the armatus? Apparently it also boosts magic? Idk. And where does it come from? Let me guess, there was that super advanced sci-fi-civilization that lived on the planet like 20 000 years ago and is now forgotten *insert dramatic music here*

-How on earth did Velvet get out of that volcano…? But as long as Morgrim is safe, I’m good.

-On that note, Velvet literally screaming WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!! at the volcano made me kinda happy

-whenever she has facepalm/I’m so done/I’m surrounded by idiots moments, I feel her very much

-Despite the headscratchers, I’m totally digging the Berseria/Zestiria worldbuilding, like hell

-Sue me but I still like the Zestiria characters lightyears better than the Berseria characters. Mostly because they’re funnier, more relatable, and also because I honestly don’t like the Darker and Edgier trope. But also because the costume designs are goddamn awful, Magilou is an obnoxious pest, and it takes Eleanor far too many hours of game play to get that other people than abbey members have human rights (I ended up liking her in the end but honestly getting there was a pain). BTW yes, Velvet, Phi and Eleanor probs have more dramatic changes in personality over the course of the game than the Zesty squad combined, but can anybody explain to me what kind of character development Eizen, Rokurou and Magilou display? …Thought so. Also, no, dramatic 180° turn character development is NOT a prerequisite for good character writing in my opinion, thank you very much. I also think that mental breakdowns aren’t a prerequisite, just in case you were wondering. I’m honestly not a big fan of the Heroic B.S.O.D. trope, although there might be some exceptions where I thought it was well done. I still prefer to do without.

-At least I can tolerate Magilou and Eleanor now that the former got a backstory and the latter finally learned how not to be a dick

-Phi’s constant complaints that he doesn’t want to be treated like a child (I’ve got bad news for you sweetie, you’re TEN) do horrible things to my headcanon that he simply stays physically 10 for eternity, but don’t think I’d give up too soon

-however, I guess we can establish that he plays splatter games with a burning passion

-I am very glad that the monster doggies and the monster bird are safe and sound in the epilogue

-WHERE IS FIRE MUM

-How on earth do people defend the opinion that Berseria was less of a button smasher game than Zestiria?? Because honestly in Zestiria I never managed to win battles by doing nothing but frantically smashing X/Square/Triangle/Circle without any plan or order.

-THE BATTLE CAMERA IS SO MUCH BETTER THO I can control it freely! Oh bless the new camera. I want that so hard in Zestiria. It would help a bunch.

-the equipment upgrade and drop system is also a billion times more effective in the sense that you don’t have to carefully plan your fusings (guess who’s always too lazy to do that) and fruitlessly try to farm the drops for that for hours (guess who’s too lazy for that as well, and also helplessly underlevelled because she’s so lazy and ends up with bosses one or two hitting an armatus even on normal mode *coughs*). Bless.

-I mean the new equipment system in Berseria is basically Final Fantasy IX but for lazy noobs. There’s ups and downs to that, I guess?

-Meirchio is so goddamn pretty, I didn’t even realise that in ToZX. Guess I was distracted by how bad the trainwreck is. Anyway I love everything about this town

-Aball and its surroundings incl. Taliesin also deserve awards

-the dungeons and field areas weren’t anymore interesting than Zestiria, tho

-btw Aball=Avalon? Magical apple island and stuff? Just asking because honestly some of the Arthurian references are pretty obscurely named (it took me quite a while to get the Lastonbell=Glastonbury reference, too, trollolol. Anyone else reminded of Good old Ah! My Goddess translation sins? I mean, come on… Verdandi to Belldandy? Apparently, correctly transcribing Roman letters into Japanese script is even more difficult than Ancient Avarost)

-Morgrim, let me love you, please take all my blessings, you are purrfectly pleasantly plump and I want to cuddle you and give you kisses

-why exactly was Shigure one of the bad guys?? It still escaped me after we cut him in half, sacrificed his soul to some ancient deity, and killed his deceased, reincarnated, dragonised mum

-speaking of which, is it really clever to use the souls of your mortal enemies to revive gods that you want to be on your side!?

-anyway, screw you, Melchior, in particular

-Bienfu is a strong contender for most annoying mascot ever and I still wanted to throw him into the ocean hours into the game. I swear if I have to hear him yell BIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN just once more in my life I’m gonna punch the screen.

-I’m with Jude on the pengyons. I mean I guess killing and eating them is preferable to killing them but not eating them, but still. Everyone speaks about representation, where’s my representation? Is there a single JRPG in which at least one of the playable characters is a vegetarian?

-I was surprised how much I enjoyed the Jude and Milla cameo, cracktastic as it was. Milla was actually my favourite in Xillia, although I had and still have severe problems with her character. But here I only saw of her what I love about her, and it made me happy. You go, Milla

-The skit writing with the constant “all males are perverts”, “all women are deceitful whores” and “men and women are fundamentally different and will never understand each other or be friends unless they’re incestuous siblings” is goddamn awful, period.

-apparently if your vessel becomes malevolent even the tiniest bit (no need to go full tainted), that physically hurts your malak/seraph. I’m glad that doesn’t happen in Zesty.

-Zaveid. Buddy. I feel sorry for you. But it also kinda shocks me how fast you get over your girlfriend’s death. I also have bad news: Eizen’s little sister will still look like a 12-year-old in a 1000 years from now. I actually hope you’re NOT into that.

-btw Zaveid and Eizen jump from mortal enemies to true name basis pretty fast holy shit

-I wouldn’t have minded more Aifread’s Pirates shenigans and nobody is surprised

-I want the cracktastic enemy book back

-I want my elemental powers back. Fuck this don’t ya try to talk down my beloved Magical Dragqueen mode IT’S THE POWER OF LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE y’ignorants

-dear malak NPCs, thank you for establishing that the abbey version armatus is a sucky beta version which will be replaced with the awesome real thing in a couple of centuries, and will eventually symbolise harmony between humans and malakhim. Bonus points for carrying along the motherfucking Galahad ruins bow to drive home the point

-I’m a little too amused by the fact that the ending credit cards are a “everyone’s happy, nobody ever died, and everybody’s friends with each other” AU

-uhm, guys? Did they give Artorius’ sword to Sorey’s gay pride armatus in the anime? I didn’t like it even back then but now I hate it even more, pls no

-I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want

-I know there will never be a Zestiria sequel because it didn’t sell well enough for that, but just in case: the only premise I’ll accept is “Phi, Sorey and Mikleo free Velvet from her prison and finally tear Innominat apart for good”. I don’t know how that would work without killing Velvet and Phi, but hey, I’m sure we’re gonna find a solution because it’s as JRPG and all we need is the POWER OF LOVE *dundundundun*

Everyone is happy. Also what is this “reborn Malakhim aren’t the same people they died as anymore” crap, don’t give me this heartbreak material you assholes

-is it wrong if I wanna play Zestiria after finishing Berseria? Actually, we would have gotten there far sooner if I hadn’t insisted taking breaks so I could play a few hours of Zestiria in between. Whoops.

-my sister was worried that Phi would miss his auntie Velvet very much and suggested Sorey and Mikleo should adopt him once the sweet baby slumber party is over. At this point I’m wondering whether I should give her fanfic recs to brighten her days, or whether that will cause her to forever ban me from her Playstation and refuse to cook for me ever again

-after watching the Zesty DLC, she also told me: “I don’t know what was the point of it, but Rose and Alisha were very cute.” She’s on the path to righteousness.

#Tales of Berseria spoilers #Tales of Zestiria spoilers #like massive endgame spoilers you have been warned

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lecliss · 3 years

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Theres a scene where the party goes to sleep but Jude wakes up and you can wander around and see everyone sleeping and the way Alvin sleeps has me wanting to bawl my dudes. He just looks so cute it kills me!!!! 😭😭😭😭

#hes on his side with his knees kinda pulled up and a hand under his head and its just ADORABLE #im talking about a grown ass man here but kfnfifnflnf trust me its cute okay #also the scene before totally has gay undertones #jude waking up as alvin comes back and rowen is out cold so hes not a part of this #and alvin mentioning jude needs to tell milla how he feels before someone else does and its like. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT ALVIN #WHY ARE YOU MENTIONING JUDE'S FEELINGS OUT OF NOWHERE HUH???#WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HOW JUDE WONT GET TO STAY WITH MILLA FOREVER???#DO YOU WANNA STAY WITH THE PARTY FOREVER??? DO YOU WANT JUDE TO BE HAPPY AND NOT DISAPPOINTED BY EVERYONE PARTING WAYS???#WHY MENTION THAT JUDE SHOULD CONFESS TO MILLA AT ALL??? WHERES THAT COMING FROM???#MILLA HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CONVERSATION FOR JUDE SO WHY BRING HER UP #DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO CONFESS TO JUDE HUH?????#WHY SOUND LIKE YOURE WORRIED ABOUT JUDE AND JUDE'S FEELINGS??? WHY ALWAYS PROTECT AND WORRY ABOUT JUDE???#WHY SINGLE JUDE OUT ALVIN???? HUH??? HUH??????#alvin asking jude if he swings both ways way back in hamil but if you ask me they BOTH do lol #alvin's just a fucking disaster about it lmao #personal

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useyourrwords · 5 years

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Month in Review // I FINALLY CHANGED MY NAME – February

You are officially reading the post of someone legally named Greyson and I am so fucking happy!

So obviously February was a bit of a landmark month for me and boy was it packed! And March looks to well an truly have earned the name Adelaide uses for it, March Madness.

Introducing The Structured TBR

Last month I introduced my new structured TBR! So here is a quick overview for those who want to follow along.

Must Read

5 books a month

1 backlist ARC, if I have any

Read new ARCS ON TIME

2 owned backlist books

3 diverse books

10 entries from Rejected Princesses

5 entries from Bygone Badass Broads

Allowances

1 library book in either physical, ebook and 1 graphic novel format

Month’s TBR

│Unbroken Anthology││

│The Boneless Mercies││

│Sadie││

│The Raven Boys││

│The Dream Thieves││

│Blue Lily, Lily Blue││

│The Raven King││

│Yaa Asantewaa│Mary Bowser│Nwanyeruwa│Nana Asma’u│Nanny of the Maroons│Agontime and the Dahomey Amazons│Josephine Baker│Nzinga Mbande│Arawelo│Ida B. Wells│Rejected Princesses││

│Queen Arawelo│Stagecoach Mary Fields│Sarah Breedlove AKA Madam C. J. Walker│Alice Ball│Nwanyeruwa│Lorraine Hansberry│Bygone Badass Broads││

So I knew when making my TBR last month that I probably wasn’t to get to all of these but wanted to see how I would go for my first structured TBR and I’m not entirely disappointed.

Read

│Unbroken Anthology│Marieke Nijkamp│││││3.5★│Read Feb 4│

I wanted more from this one and it never quite got there.

│The Raven Boys│The Raven Cycle #1│Maggie Stiefvater││││││★★★★★│Read Feb 15│

Love love love! Even better the second time. You should see how many tabs I used. It’s going to take me forever to log all the quotes I marked.

I’ve linked my original review but I might do a new one at some point. .

│The Boneless Mercies│April Genevieve Tucholke││││││★★★│Read Feb 18│

Uh this was fine. It was entertaining and I loved the whole women seeking glory thing but it could have been more engaging. This is a really journey heavy book and those just aren’t my cup of tea.

│Queen Arawelo│Stagecoach Mary Fields│Sarah Breedlove AKA Madam C. J. Walker│Alice Ball│Nwanyeruwa│Lorraine Hansberry│Bygone Badass Broads│Mackenzi Lee││││Read Feb 7│

Really glad that I’m using this year to finally read these two books and so far I am loving learning about 15 different women from history a month!

│The Dream Thieves│The Raven Cycle #2│Maggie Stiefvater││││││

So I kinda got into a bit of a slump at the end of the month and it really isn’t this books fault and is entirely because I’m not giving myself down time to do “pointless” fun things.

│Skylarks│Karen Gregory│││││

│The Surface Breaks│Lousie O’Neill│││││

Book of the Month

│Sadie│Courtney Summers│││││★★★★★│Read Feb 14│

This book is fucking brilliant. Like God has blessed us and her name is Courtney Summers and it’s just so fucking good.

│Average Rating: 4.1★│ 3│

Structured TBR Pass or Fail?

│Must Read: 4/5│ 1/1│ 0/0│ 1/2│ 4/3│ 10/10│ 6/5│

│Allowances: 2/1 P or EB | 0/1 GN│

This month was a bit of a fail but I expected as much as I have only just started to implement it! I knew I’d have a few kinks to work out as I went!

I didn’t quite reach my 5 book goal and I didn’t read 2 owned backlist books.

I also read 2 Physical/Ebook library loans so that broke the rules too.

Next month I’m going to bring my library loan all together so I can only read 1 physical book or one ebook or one graphic novel to make room for my backlist.

I’m also planning on adding audiobooks!

Past Grey Reads

Book Review // Everything Leads To You – A Quite Love Story

Book Review // Girl Made of Stars – I Am Broken

Grey Reads // Everything’s On Fire and I Couldn’t Be Happier – Girls of Paper and Fire

Film & TV

Month’s TBW

│On The Basis of Sex││

│The Favourite││

│Drag Race All Stars│Season 4││

│Jessica Jones│Season 2││

│The Young Pope│Season 1││

│Brooklyn Nine-Nine│Season 6││

│One Day At A Time│Season 3││

│I Am The Night│Season 1││

Watched

│The Favourite││2018│ Yorgos Lanthimos│ Olivia Colman, Emma Stone, Rachel Weisz │★★★★★│

This was so fucking funny and just good.

So there’s a little story time for this that I’ll get into further down the post.

│Drag Race All Stars│Season 4││2012│ RuPaul│RuPaul, Michelle Visage│Watching weekly episodes│★★★★│

Fave One-liner This Season: “Yeah, well some of us don’t have to force story-lines to get air time” -Farrah Moan.

I am so mad at that ending, don’t talk to me. Also I was really hoping RuPaul would not be a judge on the new UK edition of Drag Race and I am nothing but disappointed.

this is my new fave drag race gif

│Brooklyn Nine-Nine│Season 6││2013│ Daniel J. Goor, Michael Schur│ Andre Braugher, Andy Samberg, Stephanie Beatriz│Watching weekly episodes│★★★★★│

This is great. I am actually all caught up! I really loved the episode that focused on Jake and Rosa solving an impossible case.

│One Day At A Time│Season 3││2017│ Gloria Calderon Kellett, Mike Royce│ Justina Machado, Todd Grinnell, Isabella Gomez│★★★★★│

I started watching this with mum and then binge watched the rest by myself and then got my aunt to watch the first two episodes of season 1 and then started watching the rest of season 3 with mum again.

│I Am The Night│Season 1││2019│ Patty Jenkins│ Chris Pine, India Eisley, Jefferson Mays│★★★★│

So I did start this but I’ve not been great and keeping up with new episodes…

I’m excited to see how it continues though!

│The Umbrella Academy│Episode 1││2019│ Jeremy Slater│ Ellen Page, Tom Hopper, David Castañeda │★★★★★│

This was a wild ride and I am looking forward to seeing how it goes.

│The Girl King││year│ Mika Kaurismäki│ Malin Buska, Sarah Gadon, Michael Nyqvist │★★★★★│

I mean at this point I might as well be on a hunt for sapphic royalty.

It was a bit made-for-tv-movie for me but I still enjoyed it.

│Russian Doll│Episode 1││2019│ Leslye Headland, Natasha Lyonne, Amy Poehler│ Natasha Lyonne, Charlie Barnett, Greta Lee│★★★★│

I had no idea what was happening but It was fun and I’m hoping to get to the rest of the season at some point.

│The Bold Type│Season 1││2017│ Sarah Watson│ Katie Stevens, Aisha Dee, Meghann Fahy│★★★★★│

I started this on the very last day of the month because I was anxious and sad and needed something to calm me down and make me happy… Or so I thought.

What I actually needed was a cathartic watch of women kicking ass and tackling lots of issue and to just cry and cry and cry which is exactly what I got from The Bold Type and I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!

Music

Mostly I’ve just be listening to music I can belt out and cry…

│Dodie│Sick of Losing Soulmates│Monster│Human│She│Burned Out│Secret For the Mad│

│Troye Sivan│i’m so tired…│

│Noah Cyrus│Mad At You│Sadness│Good Cry│

│Julia Michaels│Anxiety feat. Selena Gomez│Happy│Deep│What a Time feat. Nail Horan│

│Lauren Jauregui│Expectations│

│Billie Ellish│idontwannabeyouanymore│lovely w/ Khalid│when the party’s over│

│Ruin My Life│Zara Larsson│

Past Grey Watches

Grey Watches // I Wanna Bone Jude Law and Kate Winslet – The Holiday

Grey Watches // It Has To Be A Shit Show – A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding

Grey Watches // I Hate It So Much I Love It – A Christmas Prince

Use Your Words Highlights

2019 Ahead // It’s Twentybiteen, You Ready?

January in Review // I Cried, Laughed, Ate Pasta, Celebrated My Birthday & Completed TWO Read-A-Thons/Challenges

February Ahead // I’m Finally Going To Read The Raven Cycle Series & It’s Black History Month + A Great Resource for Education!!!!!

Grey Reads // Everything’s On Fire and I Couldn’t Be Happier – Girls of Paper and Fire

Tag // The Library Lover’s Book Tag – I Am a Library Fiend

Blogosphere Highlights

│Krystin @ Here’s The Fucking Twist│Opinion: Withdrawing My Support of ‘Woman in the Window’ & AJ Finn Is Creepy AF.│True Crime Tuesday: The San Francisco Witch Killers│

│Lauren @ Northern Plunder│Announcing Blogs & Tea | Online blogger help group│

│Rain @ BOOKDRAGONISM│HOW TO CONQUER YOUR TBR PILE IN SIX (OR SEVEN) WAYS│

│Destiny @ Howling Libraries│BEST OF 2018: HORROR│

│Jamieson @ Jamishelves│some of my favourite tropes in books│BOOK TAG (ORIGINAL): Books I WANT to read, but don’t want to READ│

│Vicky @ Vicky Who Reads│Heroine by Mindy McGinnis: A Harrowing Tale About Addiction│Ace Reading Recommendations from An Arm and A Meg! │The Ultimate YA Romance Reading Recommendation List: 80+ Romances to Fall In Love With This Valentine’s Day!│

│May @ Forever And Everly│Discussing Blogger Appreciation and the Lack of It: Analyzing Answers, Stats, and Graphs From a Survey I Made!│

│Ellyn @ Allonsythornraxxbooks│HOW TO: OUTLINE A BLOG POST│MY 10 STEP GUIDE TO GROWING YOUR BLOG│

│Marie @ Drizzle & Hurricane Books│HOW TO STAY POSITIVE WHILE BOOK BLOGGING│

│Marija @ Inside My Library Mind│The 5 Star Rating System: Why It Does (Not) Work and How I Rate Books│

│Kelly @ Just Another Book in the Wall│MY CONVERSION TO AUDIOBOOKPHILIA // FIRST LISTENING EXPERIENCE AND SURPRISES│THE VALUE OF TEEN VOICES IN THE BOOK BLOGGING COMMUNITY + PROJECT ANNOUNCEMENT!│

│Shealea @ Shut up, Shealea│21 SAPPHIC ROMANCES THAT’LL MAKE YOUR HEART SOFT ON VALENTINE’S DAY│

│Swetlana @ The Caffeinated Bookworm Life│My Goodreads TBR Has 12 Books On It – Here’s Why│6 Reasons Why YOU Should Watch One Day At A Time│

│CW @ The Quiet Pond│Collab: Balancing Book Blogging and Life│

│Madeline @ Caffeine & Writing Dreams│How to Cut Adverbs for Stronger Writing // & When It’s Okay to Use Them│

│Kat @ Novels and Waffles│Stand Out Above The Crowd // 4 Ways To Make Your Free WordPress.com Theme Look Different From Everybody Else’s│My Branding Journey + Four Questions To Ask Yourself While Rebranding // ft. A Free Downloadable Checklist│How in the World I Make My Graphics // A Step-By-Step Tutorial│I Font It That Way // How to Choose the Right Font for Your Blog│By Any Other Name // 5 Steps That Will Help You Choose An Awesome Blog Name (ft. A Free Worksheet!)│This is The End // Q & A Session + A Secret Reveal│

Past Month In Review

Month in Review // November – I Already Hate Christmas

Month in Review // Christmas is Over Thank Fuck – December

January in Review // I Cried, Laughed, Ate Pasta, Celebrated My Birthday & Completed TWO Read-A-Thons/Challenges

Month’s Goals

Start floor exercises

Start regularly going for 40-minute walks

Read 5-7 books

Get my mental health plan

Book a therapy session

Service my car

Get a massage from mum

Try and take a mental health day

Have my name change official!!!!!!

I know I did terribly but I kind of took a mental health weekend. I mean I worked both days but I just relaxed and didn’t go for my walks because I have a bad blister and I think my body just needed the break.

I Left the House

I had to get my car serviced on 7/2 and seeing as I can’t really rely on anyone to help me out and mum was working I had to drop off my car and then find a way to kill time without a car for several hours. So I decided to use my free birthday movie ticket and caught a train to the nearest cinema for that chain.

Two main positives from the whole adventure:

I took public transport for the first time in years and didn’t have an anxiety attack.

The Favourite was amazing.

And then I got my car back from the service and they told me everything that was wrong with it and how much it was going to cost and so that was no great and there were some tears and a panic attack but I don’t know. Hopefully I can work it out.

I was only 80 steps away from hitting 14000 steps on 12/2 so I’m very proud of that!

I Socialised

On 14/2 my aunt came to stay with use for a few days while my cousin was busy having her baby only 5 minutes away from us. In hospital. I feel like I need to clarify that… It’s my cousin’s second baby, he didn’t come until 16/2 I’m pretty sure, and he’s pretty cute I have to admit and hes very calming to be around like my nephew who’s birthday is only a couple of days before.

Speaking of my nephew. It was his birthday 14/2 see we visited him and hes walking around and his whole personality is changing now that he can run around and he’s just so cute I die a little every time I see him. I can’t believe he’s 1 already!

While my aunt was down she made mum and I dinner and cheesecake (15/2)!!!! The dinner was surf and turf which I’ve never had before and it was delicious! and the cheesecake she made from scratch, only going off what flavours I wanted, WITHOUT A RECIPE. My mum nearly died when she was told that. It was so good and I desperately want more… So basically now I have to try and visit her once a month just so I can have cheesecake.

I Did Things

I made myself some protein oat cups (19/2) from scratch WITHOUT a recipe and they’re actually really good considering I had no idea what the fuck I was doing???? It was also the day I officially got my new birth certificate and my name change was complete!!!!!! now I just have to do all the hard part which is changing everything.

On 22/2 I cried and literally have no idea why. Like there wasn’t anything that triggered it…I just cried. I really need to book a therapy session…

On 25/2 I decided I needed to play the sims and then wasted basically a whole day because some of my mods/ccs were broken and so I was having to figure out which ones it was to get rid of them.

26/2 I actually got to play the sims and I just really needed it??? I also changed my licence over to my new name!!!

On the 27/2 I decided to open a new bank account with a different bank because I haven’t been that happy with my current one for a while. But i didn’t have enough points of ID yet so I can’t access the account…and I didn’t discover that until after I already gave the details to my work so thats where I was paid so that was NOT. GREAT. Thank god my mum could help me out with money until I paid again (hopefully in my old account until I get my new licence in the mail otherwise I’m??? Kinda?? Fucked???

So basically the 28/2 was me crying and fighting anxiety attack while on the phone trying to find SOME way to access my own money… It did not work… I hopefully it is all worked out next week but also I’m not holding my breath.

Past Month Ahead

Month Ahead // December – I Already Hate It

Month Ahead // Happy Birthday To Me + Hiatus Announcement – January

February Ahead // I’m Finally Going To Read The Raven Cycle Series & It’s Black History Month + A Great Resource for Education!!!!!

Outro

What did you do this month? What did you read? What did you watch? What posts did you write that you’re super proud of?

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