#Bruce Guese

[inbarfink]

The actual funniest thing about the detail of, like, Simon Petrikov's eternal blood-feud with Choose Goose and all of his multiverse derivatives actually extending back to the Pre-Mushroom-War Era where a 'Bruce Guese' wrote a very disrespectful article about Simon discovering the Enchiridion

Is like, this newspaper clipping came from IK's the The Past Room, Simon must've read it. And I'd have to imagine, at some points throughout the Literal Years he spent surviving through the literal nuclear apocalypse, Simon must've jokingly thought to himself 'well, on the plus side, at least I'm not going to meet [jerk that I hate] ever again haha!', and that likely included Mr. Bruce Guese.

AND YET

Despite Simon losing almost everyone from his previous life, this one motherfucker's inexplicitly avian decedents continue to haunt him!

#adventure time #atimers #fionna and cake #fionna & cake #at #fac #f&c #at fionna and cake #adventure time fionna and cake #adventure time simon #fionna and cake simon #fionna and cake series #fionna and cake show #simon petrikov #simon adventure time #choose goose #choose bruce #pawn swan #Bruce Guese

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

I just realized.

The guy who wrote that article about Simon discovering the Enchiridion and being totally condescending?

His name?

It's Bruce Guese.

Simon's been haunted by a fucker whose first name rhymes with his last.

Im talking about that Choose Goose.

#adventure time #simon petrikov #fionna and cake

[janurants]

I Don’t Even Know Where To Begin...

So, like I have mentioned before, I am always a little late to the party. But, I do make it. Eventually. And then sometimes I realise it was a party not worth attending at all.

In this case, it was a party named Batman Begins (2005)

Yup, the brooding game begins.

Firstly, I understand the importance of the film. I believe that Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy was partially responsible for the spate of great superhero films and raising the standard of these films overall. However, I didn’t think this was all that it was hyped up to be. 84% on RT? Seriously?

I have seen the other two movie before and I loved The Dark Knight (2008). But that has to do more with Heath Ledger’s performance and the character of The Joker. 

Mr. Roger Ebert really knew what he was talking about when he said:

“Each film is only as good as its villain.”

So, to quote a certain nun, let´s start at the very beginning. It is a very good place to start.

And we start with Kid Wayne. Really? That’s the best they could find? He literally had no emotion when his parents were gunned down? And don’t gimme that reasoning that he was a kid and all that. Take a cue from The Lion King, Nolan. Ask Hans Zimmer, he would’ve pointed you in the right direction.

Also, Batman’s “beginnings” are hilarious. I love that he goes through the whole cliche’d “hero-in-the-making” stages of the ski-masks and everything. 

Also, didn’t he just come back from all that super-awesome ninja training?? Ra’s Al Ghul also mentioned somewhere that he was his best student. You really had sucky students didn’t you Mr. Al Ghul? Coz this supposed “ninja” made a heck of a lot of noise running away from Sergeant Gordon.

My favourite part of the movie is Morgan Freeman’s character, who is literally every geek’s dream. Unlimited capital, he gets to work in his very own man-cave and doesn’t even need to pretend to be anyone else ‘coz he’s cool as is. Heck, even Bruce Wayne is jealous. 

Then so many other random questions....

- How does the first guy who finds the Batman shuriken know what that symbol is? 

- How does the police officer that finds Falcone know to look to the sky, ask “what is that?” and know that the shadow and light make a symbol? Like shouldn’t the bigger deal be that someone caught Falcone? For all he knows, Falcone could’ve been tied to a spotlight just to catch people’s attention. But I bet Bruce Wayne dragged that officer into a dark alley and was like “I am giving you a 100 bucks to ask ‘what is that’ when you see Falcone tied to a big light.”

- Also, I am glad Sergeant Gordon decided to not answer him. Imagine guesing the wrong animal? Like, “Maybe it’s an eagle? Looks like the eagle on the Presidential Seal”.

- How can you tell someone to keep calm and then follow up with telling them that they have been poisoned? Explain.

- Poor Alfred is left to do all the heavy lifting. He is literally a 100 years old and has to carry around unconscious damsels like a creeper.

- Does Batman have Rachel low-jacked?

- Why is Bruce just standing and chit-chatting with Ra’s Al Ghul while his minions are starting a little bonfire in his house? He knows what Al Ghul is about to do, he has the antidote and could be busy saving people or punching Al Ghul to stop him..

And last but not least, WHAT IS WITH KATIE HOLMES’S ROCK HARD NIPPLES??? I am completely with the #freethenipple movement and I understand the last scene where she is with Bruce and on her own time. But when she gets attacked by the Scarecorw, she is a professional and on the job. Was she not wearing a padded bra to work?? Or does hallucinating about guys with sack-cloth masks and maggots on their face turn her on so much, that her nipples punch a hole through the bra????

Let’s talk about this a litte. This is clear sexism and sexualization. I understand that Batman & Robin (1997) wasn’t the best Batman movie. But if Joel Schumacher got flack for sexualizing the men and giving them nipples, then shouldn’t Nolan get the same for this? Just coz some Batman fans got a hard on watching Katie Holmes, what says that some Batman fans didn’t get turned on seeing George Clooney’s nipples?

Also, for shooting such scenes, female actors have to rub ice on their nipples before every shoot? And I’ve heard some even cut out little holes in their bras to let the nipples peek out. And then they have to also deal with Reddit threads like this: 

https://www.reddit.com/r/batman/comments/wx6ge/why_i_preferred_katie_holmes_over_maggie/

Try not to puke please.. 

We should probably thank Joel Schumcher to have the presence of mind to add the hard nipples to the suit rather than have rub ice on Clooney’s tits every scene. That would have been one long shoot otherwise.

Free the male nipple too I say!

There’s so much more I want to say, but may I should leave it for a Part 2? I don’t want to be totally negative. I did like a few things. I appreciated the minimal use of effects and the way they depicted Scarecrow’s powers. And I will end this rant with one of my favourite dialogue scenes.

#batman begins #christopher nolan #batman #bruce wayne #ra's al ghul #scarecrow #christian bale #liam neeson #cillian murphy #katie holmes #dark knight trilogy #batman & robin #joel schumacher #george clooney #thoughts #movie rant #janurants

[linaofthemyscira]

Going on holiday with the batboys hc? ;) 💕

Robin, girl I love you. Yes yes yes. I’m going to do it for Rio too because I like the beach. (Although I did do a separate one for Jason already so…)

Dick:•this man is over-prepared•he has like 5 bottles of sunscreen all different SPFs•makes sure to get everything you need. •doesn’t bring weapons because he wants to cherish this time with you. •he brings a fucking speedo (you know who you are when we discussed this ;))•you don’t know this •you guys (unsurprisingly) make it through security and everything with no trouble. •this man owns the beach. •your jaw drops when he steps out in his speedo•"Did you bring swimming trunks?“•"nOPE!”•he learns how to dance Samba that day•you take a video of him drunk Samba dancing•you send it to Bruce •he responds with “ :) ”

Jason (I did one for him already but I have one thing to say):•two words…•beach sex

Tim:•this boy is pale AF•like he’s practically Danny Phantom•he burns easily so you make sure to bring a strong sunscreen •he plans everything out and makes an itinerary•triple checks that you packed everything you need. •the flight to Brazil is long and exhausting •you two don’t wanna talk about it•jet lag is real•can’t forget the coffee :)•breakfast on the beach•he takes a nice ass photo of you during sunset•it’s a relaxing vacation •you two have never felt happier

Damian:•oH HELL•he packs his shit like a week in advance•plans on saving some wild animals from traffickers •"Damian I know we’re going to Rio, but it’s not gonna be like the movie.“•"let me save some animals, Y/N.”•boy knows his por👏🏽tu👏🏽guese👏🏽•some people think he’s actually Brazilian. •the beach•oh man the beach•while you relax, he’s challenging everyone to beach volleyball and beating them•goes surfing•somehow ends up in a coconut bra cuz this guy is wild

Yeee thanks Robin! I hope you liked it!

Send a Headcanon to celebrate 700!

#wynterrobin #jason todd headcanon #lina answers