#Bro I just need to schedule this fucking MRI so I can find out what's WRONG with me

[shima-draws]

Currently in my banging my head against the wall phase. Hope you all are well 🥰

#Doc told me to schedule another MRI on Tuesday. They said they sent the order over on Tuesday. #I call on Tuesday to schedule the appointment. They don't have the referral yet #I called yesterday to try and schedule. They STILL don't have the referral #I message my doc and make sure they actually sent it over to the right place. (They did.) #They say they'll fax it over again! Great! #I call AGAIN today. They STILL don't have the referral #Bro I just need to schedule this fucking MRI so I can find out what's WRONG with me #The girl on the phone was like 'Oh yeah we're real busy we get orders all the time it must not have hit the system yet' #BRO IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS. HOW HAS NOBODY SEEN IT. TEARING my hair out #I went to their website to try and schedule online. Guess what? THEIR GODDAMN SCHEDULING ASSISTANT IS DOWN FOR MAITENANCE #SCREAMS #Anyway yes so in my banging my head against the wall phase. I'm so tired #And still in pain! To nobody's surprise!! #They can't fix what's wrong with me if I can't even get in to get an MRI. Hello. PLEASE #This isn't really smth that can wait a couple weeks #I should've been in to see them like YESTERDAY. #My pain is so bad I had to stay at home today. And I go and ice my back every hour or so #Bc I can't sit down for more than 45 minutes without wanting to kill myself ;)))) #Shima speaks #I'M SORRY I'm just so. I've been over this for months. And now that I'm THIS close to getting answers #I can't. Seem to get these people to schedule an appointment for me #Grinds my teeth

[ivesundlillies]

Night Of The Hunted: Thirty-One

In recent news, I was helping the parental units do some yard work this past weekend and fell fifteen feet through an old shed so I am currently lied up in bed with a week off of work. But on the bright side, I was able to finish a chapter! Enjoy and with luck you’ll have another this weekend.

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"So then I have another MRI scheduled and an X-ray. I need to figure out what is going on with my back before I go on the world tour."

Dr. Price raised a disapproving brow. "Another world tour in such a short amount of time? Driving yourself into the ground are you, Mr. Leto?"

"What can I say?" Jared replied, playfully "I'm an extremist: all or nothing, go big or go home- no settling"

The words played over in his head once more and time seemed to stop as the scene played out again in his head.

'We’re extremists, you and I. We need the biggest and the best, the harshest and the worst- mediums do nothing for us. So what is it with the plain and boring crap you keep bringing back to me, what was wrong with what we had?'

Extremes, always extremes with him; his acting, his music, his fashion, his sex- everything had to push him to the limit. Maybe that's why Jared was here right now: because he didn't know how to dabble, because he didn't know how to sample what life had to offer and because he wasn't willing to do anything half-assed. That's what always screwed him over wasn't it? His need to push boundaries. It's why he has the success that he does, why he has so few interpersonal relationships, why he does so well in films, why his back is killing him the way that it is  and why he is now sitting on this shrinks couch and going over everything that has happened to him in the last forty plus years.

"Jared!"

"Huh?" he looked up "Sorry, I spaced out there for a second"

Marijke frowned. "Try two and a half minutes... where did you go?"

"I, uh... Just thinking about things. I mean, I'm very driven and ambitious and I guess I'm now realizing that that can cause a problem sometimes, you know"

"Do you think that ambition has affected your relationships?" she hedged.

Immediately, the singer's guard was up. "Which relationship are you referring to exactly?"

"Any relationship at all. Do you find yourself declining invitations to friend's get-togethers in favor of work? Have you stopped yourself from spending time with your brother or mother because you are so focused on a role?"

The musician shrugged. "I, sure... I mean, you don't have the long-running success that I do without a few sacrifices along the way."

Wasn't that what he had told Dresden that night they had first...made love?

'That’s exactly what I mean. You don’t get the opportunities I did and get as far as this without being taken advantage of and losing bits of your soul on the way.'

"But have these sacrifices been worth it, is the question. I'd like for you to think about that and give me a thought out answer when we meet next week. In the meantime, did you still want to talk about the subject we broached last Wednesday? We still have a minute or two if you would like to get anything off of your chest."

Jared scratched his beard, a nervous tick the doctor noted. "Not really, though she might come up next week as we broach the topics of relationships. I'd like to write some things down first and get them out of my head before I make a mess of things and can't talk about them."

"That sound like a wise decision. Good luck then and I'll see you next week."

The musician stood and walked out of her office, slowly making his way to his car as he thought over the doctor's question: had his ambition affected his relationship with Dresden? It had certainly been the starting point for their relationship, he admitted to himself as he hopped into the Bronco, their competition of BDSM and orgasms. And it had certainly caused the shifting in their relationship as well; that night he had pushed Dresden passed the point of what she could handle, the night she had a panic attack and had to be cut out of the ropes before running away- he'd been so determined to beat her, to drive her into a state of submission that he had caused her semi-permanent damage. And his drive to be the perfect dominant once she had voluntarily submitted to him on her birthday- the night that he swore to never hurt her, only to help her and feeling like he'd failed when he'd tried his best.

Perhaps ambition was the keynote fail of his relationship with Dresden, just in a different way each time. And maybe it had negatively affected his other relationships as well, and not just the romantic ones either.

Pulling out his phone, Jared dialed Emma's number in hopes that she would (as usual) be able to help him.

"Hello?"

"Emma! Am I mean to you? I mean, has my being mean affected our relationship?"

"What the fu- Jared? Did you just come from your psychiatrist office? What did she say to you to make you think that?"

"Just answer the question!" he yelled, before momentarily backtracking "I-I'm sorry. Please answer the question, Emma"

His former assistant took a moment. "Well, I wouldn't say you are 'mean', per se. When I think of someone being mean, it's being harsh or rude for no reason. You are just demanding. You know what you want and you know when you want it, you are dedicated, hardworking and driven and you expect those who work for you to be the same. So not mean, just a little... brash, sometimes. Why?"

So he is too driven. "Nevermind that. Thanks, Emma!"

The vocalist hung up on his partner before she pressed any further and he dialed his brother.

"I'm about to try anal for the first time with my hot-ass girlfriend so whatever you need it better be quick" the drummer snapped.

First time anal? That was a pressing concern, but... "Shan, do you think my ambition gets in the way sometimes?"

"What the fuck?" Jared heard some movement in the background "I've never heard you ask a question like that. Bro, is there something wrong?"

The singer heard Carla mutter something before Shannon huffed, no doubt moving away from his prepared girlfriend.

"I, just... Dr. Price mentioned something about how my desire for success may have hindered my relationships with people and I was just wondering if you have ever felt that."

Shannon groaned into the receiver. "And if you're calling to ask me this then it means that you've already talked to Emma and she didn't give you the answer that you wanted to hear, am I right?"

"Just answer the question, you ape!"

"And on that note, yes- yes, I do believe it has. I believe that was a major reason for you and Cam breaking up, I think that is why you deliberately never settle down in one place, and I think that may have played a major role in why you and Dresden went south. When you fixate on something, you plan out exactly how it is going to look and sound which is perfect for art, bro- but people aren't like that. Sometimes they are messy and unreliable and emotional and weird but we're all human, you know: we bleed when we fall and we crash and breakdown."

He wrinkled his nose. "Did you just quote Christina Perri?"

"Yeah, LaLa's been playing a lot of pop music in the background whenever we cook or clean and it's starting to grow on me. You know One Direction really isn't so bad when you focus-"

"Goodbye, Shannon and enjoy your anal" Jared interrupted before hanging up and tossing his phone across the seat.

His head hit the steering wheel as he digested their words, idly wondering how many more people he had slighted over the years in his drive for his accomplishments. His thoughts played over the people he could think of and landed on the one he couldn't forget; Dresden. If there was one thing he could say to her it would be 'sorry'.

Sorry for not being a better dominant. Sorry for being so obsessed with perfection that the perfection right in front of him went without notice. Sorry for hurting her, for damaging her. Sorry for devouring her in every possible way only to chew her up and spit her out. And most of all, sorry for not being what she needed when she needed it.

His train of thoughts derailed at the sound of screeching tires and a shout of protest. Looking in his rearview mirror, Jared saw a familiar looking convertible swing into two parking spaces where an even more familiar looking Brit literally spilled out onto the pavement.

"What were you thinking, you plonker?!? You almost hit that tramp trying to cross the intersection!"

Jasper stood up and dusted off his still immaculate trousers when a pair of stocking-clad legs emerged from the driver's side, followed by their owner.

"You were the one bitching about getting here on time and now look: precisely one minute to spare."

"Only because you were driving the like a bat straight from Hell the entire three miles! What were you pushing, 90 in a 30 mph zone?"

Dresden rolled her eyes and slammed the door. "Something like that. Chill Jaz, my winged eyeliner is perfect and we are exactly on time without a ticket- now let's move, shall we? I'd like to get in and out of this bitch's office soon before she accuses me of having daddy issues and being a deviant"

The dark skinned dominant followed after her with a smirk. "You are a deviant with daddy issues"

"Shut-up!"

Dresden kept straight ahead, not giving any notice to the blue Bronco with bright flames on it or the occupant inside. Jared couldn't believe his eyes; she looked good, better than good- amazing! Although she was a bit thinner than the last time he'd seen her, she seemed to be doing okay; still mouthing off at Jasper and bitching about therapy... wait, was she going to see Dr. Price? Was she the one who had called for an appointment last week?

The musician felt the urge to run after her- but what would he say? And what would she say when she saw him? He hadn't had a haircut in eons and his beard needed a serious trim, not to mention the ratty sweats he was wearing on top of his sneakers. SHE looked great and he wouldn't face her until he looked and felt the same, they needed to be on a somewhat even playing field before he saw or spoke to her again. His only hope was that the blonde would come back again next week after his appointment.

And with that in mind, Jared turned over his Bronco and drove passed the red convertible.

                                                               *

The dominatrix opened the door to the doctor's office and gestured to the chairs. "Have a seat while I check in, Jaz"

Kelly slapped on her best fake smile and grinned over the desk. "Hello and welcome back to Dr. Price's office. Are you here to check in?"

"Cut the crap, kid" the blonde snapped "1 o'clock appointment for Dianne V. Brown, here is my payment now where is the good doctor?"

The receptionist narrowed her eyes and took the cash. "She just finished up with another patient and will be out in a few minutes. If you'll just have a seat-"

"A seat?!? My appointment is for 1 p.m! Not 1:05, not 1:15, not 1:20- but one o' clock! You mean to tell me that I am paying for an hour session yet am going to get less than that time for my hard earned money?!?"

"Doesn't seem too 'hard earned' judging by those calluses on the crest of your hand. Probably caused by a whip... Let me guess: too many submissives not listening to the pretty blonde so she has to take them to heel and fuck up her precious little fingers?" Kelly retorted, sneering when the blonde gasped in shock.

Jasper leaped from his chair and was about to intervene when a female voice spoke up and ended things before they could escalate.

"That's enough! Kelly, you should know better by now than to be baited into a tete-a-tete by someone in a higher place of power than you. Now Ms. Brown is it? Welcome back to my office, now if you will step this way I'm ready for you."

The dominatrix sent one final glare toward the woman behind the desk before walking after the doctor. Jasper followed behind her, closing the door once they were all in as though slamming a cell door in finality.

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#jared leto #jaredleto #Jared Leto Fanfic #jared leto fanfiction #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #night of the hunted