#Bringing up panphobia is good and helpful to a lot of people

[miraculouslumination]

Sometimes it feels like so many people just want to ignore panphobia and not bother to learn all of the ways it exists and slips by through dogwhistles

And it also sometimes feels like panphobia is only ever really cared about when general mspecphobia is being brought up

Which is nice, but panphobia itself really deserves more attention

It sucks seeing people promote the works of crypto and blatant panphobes, and not knowing if they're someone willing to be warned about it or not

Because it also sometimes feels like some people think calling out any panphobia = demanding for bi people to not have any history, positivity, awareness, celebration, or anything like that

Which is just.....no. We want our bi siblings to have that. We just don't want it to continuously come at the slanderous cost of other mspec identities and their history

All we want you to do is listen to us and actually learn from us

We are siblings and friends - we need to trust each other more than hurt wacht other

#Jean rambles #Panphobia #Mspecphobia #One blog I like has started to promote a panphobic bi youtuber #And it sucks because I know the op is inclusive #So to see such an exclusive person be promoted as a good reliable source of education on biphobia is just...bittersweet #Like I don't know #I just hate that panphobia never really seems to be talked about or recognized #Especially all on its own #Bringing up panphobia is good and helpful to a lot of people #But most importantly it's good and helpful for goddamn!! Pan people! #I just. I just feel like so many people ignore us and our troubles #Because it's just I dont know?? Easier I guess? #I'm just hurting and upset #Biphobia can't be killed by punching down on pan and other mspec folk #Biphobia is not solely linked to pansexuality #Not by a fucking long shot #Please realize that #And please start listening to us #Please stop platforming harmful people

[my-strange-attraction]

If you used to use a label (specifically a microlabel but any label applies) and you no longer think it describes your experience the best way/ no longer think it’s necessary for you to use a label that describes such a specific experience even though it does still fit, I don’t know how to tell you this, but that label is still valid as a label.

I’ve been seeing (as has everyone else here, I think) a lot of panphobia lately by people who think it’s not necessary to specify pan as specific from bi, who think it’s biphobic when people feel the label fits them better, especially people who used to identify with pan because they thought it was the trans friendly version of bi.

This is also, I think, the root of a lot of the ace disc horse that happened a few years back (I wasn’t on here yet but I’ve heard Stories) and a lot of the hate on microlabels in general. People who have in the past used more specific, usually microlabels, have “seen the light” and now “realize” that it’s -phobic of the existing macrolabels for microlabels to even exist as labels that people use. 

Today, for example, I saw a post. The post that prompted this one. It was insisting that it’s “ok to just be bisexual, good in fact” and while I agree with that as a statement, the motivation was aphobic. They were hating on labels like demi and sapiosexual in the tags and they, obviously, got some anon backlash. On their blog, they had a picture of a demi pride shirt with a cute little saying and under it they said* “I wore this every other day in middle school, trust me I’m allowed to talk about this”

A few months back I saw something similar, a TikTok with a person in it who was listing off all these microlabels that they used to use vs. the macrolabels they use now, making fun of the existence of microlabels and people who use them, essentially. Saying microlabel users are naive and there’s no reason to use microlabels when the big umbrella labels are there for us. 

And I understand, I do. As you get further along in your queer journey, the “baby gay” does start to wear off a bit. You stop feeling the need to label the more specific nuances of your identity, or you get tired of trying to pin them down. It’s natural for something like that to happen. 

But weren’t the microlabels helpful in getting you to this point? Didn’t it bring you some comfort to be part so so many smaller nuanced communities? Did you or did you not at one point feel it was the best way you could describe yourself with the vocabulary you were given and the understanding you had at the time?

I was bicurious before I was ever ace. Then I was panromantic, demiromantic, bellusromantic, cupioromantic, arospec, then aro, then finally loveless aro after some playing around with qprs. I was genderqueer, then genderfae, then girlflux, agender, genderfluid. I’ve settled back on genderqueer for now but who knows right?

I’ve jumped a bit all over the place in this post, but I want to come back to this as my final point: labels cannot be queerphobic. That’s not how any of this works. People get too caught up in labels, yes, and when you’re younger, generally, you get really caught up in finding just the right one. In the end, maybe you are still demi but bi feels right to you. Maybe I’m still everything I have been or maybe I’m none of it at all. Labels are there to help the people who they describe. If they don’t describe you, they’re not attacking what you are, it’s just a different experience than yours, or maybe the same experience but just for a different person, someone who prefers to be more specific with their labels. 

Does it really hurt so much just to live and let live?

#labels #queer #brief talk of panphobia #brief talk of aphobia #microlabels #another one of cloudy's essay posts #cloudy rambles

[posi-pan]

Hey, I want to say that your blog as well as other pan/ace support blog gives me the last bits of hope I have for the pan community.

The reason why the amount of hope is so thin is because I’ve experienced secondhand panphobia last year; me and my friend were at a pride event, and at some point my friend was attacked by some panphobe in the parking lot. The person claimed they were a battle axe bisexual, saying that “p*nnies have stolen their sexuality” and that “you (my friend) shouldnt be existing.”

So, while I don’t think all battle axe bisexuals are physically violent, that definitely f*cked us up. When I got home after comforting her, my friend then considered calling herself bi and getting rid of her flag. I tried to convince her to keep her pan label, so I went on tumblr to try to find pan positivity posts to show her. I then went on Reddit to vent and found out through a r/bisexual post that a mod of r/battleaxebi posted screenshots of a pan minor’s rant about her mental health, with the sole intent of wanting the other battle axes to harrass/make fun of her. And it was of a CHILD nonetheless.

I then remembered that two years ago, I got into an argument with a battle axe bi on YouTube who told me that they “don’t hate pansexuals, just the label.” Then when an actual pansexual got into the comments they used the p-slur and told them to go kill themselves.

Like, do you see the pattern here?? Again, I don’t want to generalize but it seems that the battle axe community doesn’t even try to take care of the situation (ie prohibiting harassment, assault, etc. in their rules).

It’s gotten so bad that I couldn’t help but be fearful for my friend. I’m not pan (demi/ace person here; it seems battle axes don’t believe in demi either) but I have experienced and seen these things happen repeatedly. “We don’t hate pans just the label” my ass! Like I understand where the battle axe bi’s are coming from; they feel that their label is being misinterpreted and “overtaken” by M-spec labels (even though that’s not true; it’s the general public’s fault for not being educated on either sexuality), but literal assault and online harassment is not the way!

I’m sorry. I just have to get this out of my system. I’m just so frustrated about how OBSESSED some people are with another sexuality that happens to be similar to theirs. Even when I bring up actual pan history to prove that it’s not a sexuality that exists to “overtake” bisexuality, they go on to insult me a la ad hominem “YOU SPELLED HISTORY WRONG!!!11!”

I seriously don’t get it. Why would you dedicate your life to this. I understand if you want to spread bi awareness and history but telling people that mspec sexualities exist to “destroy the bisexual label” and that “bisexuals attracted to two genders are the minority of our community, don’t focus on them,” or “omnisexuality is bs; all mspecs are bs” is disheartening. And it feels like the mods of r/battleaxebi are ENCOURAGING harassment. I just can’t take this anymore. I feel like if pans or any mspec folks are to be open of their sexuality they might be attacked. I’m really scared. This already happened to me at least three times so I don’t know what to do. Ive tried to ignore them, I’ve tried therapy, I’ve tried pan positivity blogs like yours, but I’m still scared. Really scared.

i'm sorry that happened.

i feel like it’s important to point out that battleaxe bis aren't going to call out or moderate each other when they're being panphobic (regardless of if it's saying pan isn't a real sexuality or telling pan people to die), because the whole battleaxe bi identity is about hating pan/non-bi mspec identities and people.

being upset that they're not prohibiting harassment and are encouraging it and whatever else is honestly a waste of energy. sadly. like you said, not all of them go to the extremes that some do, but they're all still panphobes/mspecphobes. there is no good way to be a battleaxe bi (in the context it’s been given since panphobes/mspecphobes coopeted it).

i personally don't agree with understanding where battleaxe bis are coming from, though, because they literally just queerphobes. there are people who are sick of bi being defined incorrectly or stigmatized or compared to pan/other mspec identities who don't hate pan/mspec people or use us as a scapegoat for biphobia or blame us for their own insecurities.

but yeah, the fact that people dedicate so much of their time and energy to being hateful is just hard to wrap my head around. like what is anyone getting out of it? how is it helping anyone? what is it accomplishing other than hurting innocent people and making your own community look bad by behaving like homophobes? it's so genuinely pointless.

i'm sorry you're so worried about it. i wish i had answers or a way to fix things or at least ease your mind.

#asks #anonymous #pan antagonism #mspec antagonism #harassment mention #abuse mention #suicide mention #pannie #battleaxe bi #demi antagonism #long post