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writing-for-life · 1 month

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About Love As The Catalyst For Change

Okay, so while I was going through all the panels for March Mania, I also stumbled over these ones again:

And although I’ve read it all a million times and had all these feelings before, I just need to blurt them out:

Love Is What Changes Him

It’s such a central message of The Sandman, but I feel it often gets lost in a million other things. And they’re all important, but so is this one.

Because yes, Dream went with Delirium and found Destruction (and Despair found him btw), and his Destiny was Death. And that whole Desire thing… ‘nuff said. BUT… (major spoilers ahead)

Those panels above are basically the turning point in a nutshell. No, well, the turning point is actually the moment he kisses (and then kills) Orpheus, but those panels are the essence:

He set out with Delirium in hopes to find Thessaly (the pendant Nuala wears here used to be hers, and she gave it to her when she left the Dreaming and him. And I can’t even begin to tell you how I feel about him letting Nuala keep a gift of his ex, who betrays him later by protecting the woman he hurt, and then making it the item that holds the power with which Nuala can call in her boon. One could spin that very far in all sorts of different directions).

But when he comes back after killing Orpheus, it doesn’t really matter anymore. Thessaly was the usual romanticised dream that could never be real. But he finally did find love. For his son. The unconditional kind. The one that doesn’t need anything in return because it just is. And he was loved back, if for a brief moment. But it was real, not a dream. And that love stays real (that’s why it initiates the turn, 3rd act and all that).

I’m reminded again of the words of Frank McConnell in his intro to The Kindly Ones:

“And with [killing Orpheus], Dream has entered time, choice, guilt and regret—has entered the sphere of the human.”

(Side note at this point: With all of this in mind, read Dream Hunters [again], and look at all THREE main characters—that includes the onmyōji, not just the monk and the fox.)

And it would be so easy to say, “Well, love killed him then, what’s the fucking point?” Not just the love for his son, but also the love of a maiden who called in her boon (Nuala), the love of a mother for her child (Lyta), the love of a crone for no one but herself (Thessaly).

But we all know that “change or die” was never an “either or”, because it’s an “and both”. And it’s ultimately love, in all its shapes and forms, four times over, that changed him (while it was also part of the death knell, but that’s a complicated one. In any case, it also led to change: To be(come) a new, better, kinder Dream).

Yes, call me romantic or hopeless (although I think that’s the wrong word in this context, because I feel it’s the opposite), I don’t care.

Because that story is about catharsis. And that means Dream is a vessel for our feelings. And the feelings won’t be the same if we change any of this, for better, for worse. Because truthfully: That story is about me. And you. And you.

About allowing love, of whatever kind (this is very clearly not just about romantic love), to change us. And that ultimately means letting go (of control). Just like he did.

Bleurgh, I’m crying. Catharsis 🤣

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light-bender · 8 months

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Am I reusing my own meme? Yea I am leave me alone. But yea I currently have four friends reading Way of Kings and I will be riding this high into the next decade!!!!

#cosmere #brandon sanderson #stormlight archive #way of kings #star trek #borg #gay #queer #bookclub OF MY DREAMS #my bestie keeps sending me stormlight memes and shed effing hilarious #she INSTICTIVELY called them #daddy dalinar #and twink king #dalinar kholin #elhokar kholin #she just GETS IT yall #so excited #hyperinterest times 1000 energy rn

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the-nysh · 11 months

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Vash Teef & Fangs Continued!

Trimax volume 1 (previous: Trigun vol1-2)

Ch1: 'Hero Reborn'

Ch3: 'Bravo, Girls!'

Ch4: 'Hero Returns'

Ch5: 'Dancing Revolver'

Ch6: 'Sin'

#trigun #trigunbookclub #manga panels #collecting these per vol for the bookclub #figured it's best to make new posts as i go opposed to rbing the og post #i love how nightow draws teef ALL over the place #eriks!vash showed a toof baby!vash showed some and he got more silly gag panels vs last time before things turned srs

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pixxyofice · 3 months

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you've heard of mira loops aus. you've heard of odile loops aus. how about them looping together this is me throwing my pitch for an au i'm already working on to you to see if its actually interesting. bookclub looping au.

OH!!! BOOKCLUB LOOPING AU!! oh, that would be interesting! a lot of new dynamics to take advantage of, plus ruining mirabelle and odile! both at one! what a concept!

#isat #in stars and time #bookclub looping au

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hemminicky · 2 months

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Currently debating whether I want to read TSC right away or reread AFTG first and hope I don't see spoilers for TSC ....

It's been a while since I reread the trilogy, I'm sure I've forgotten a bunch of details :/

#wish i had the time to reread aftg this week but I have a con to prep #also i have a bookclub book to read asap ....#too many books for a slow reader 😭😭😭#audrey rambles

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annaofaza · 8 months

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I talked about how Wolfwood came to believe in Vash and his philosophy, but oh, this panel.

These forces are banking on someone (and a weapon that would kill the people they're trying to save anyway) to take out Knives--planning, hemming, hawing, discussing sacrificing civilians and talking about an official peace between the Plants and humans--and suddenly zero in on Vash as someone who can turn the tide. He's useful.

But Milly and Meryl and Luida already know how amazing he is. They see beyond the complexity behind "possible hero" or "Humanoid Typhoon." They know him as a person, and that's why they've come to believe in him beyond The Enigma.

But more than that: Luida's right in more ways than one: Vash is already fighting, and he's doing it alone.

Oh, Vash, you're so loved.

#vash you are so loved and i wish that took #trigun bookclub #trigunbookclub #my post #trigun maximum #“he is above us” indeed but at the same time we the audience know him too. he's on the same level as humans. that's why he understands them #hello jesus symbolism!!#i don't mean to rag on earth because they did technically try to come as fast as they can and they're helping #but vash has been walking the walk longer than y'all #something something divinity is humanity

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bluastro-yellow · 7 months

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can we talk about the bullet in Steban's room? why is it there

#is it a gift from ulixes lol #is it an exit strategy?#is it a way to prepare for the future even if they don't even have a gun yet?#disco elysium #pointless microblogging #that bullet made me think whoever lived there was gonna be armed. and probably dangerous for me #the first time I took it thinking the mysterious person would try to shoot me lol #next time I was invited to their bookclub instead #imagine my face when I was expecting anything but those two nerds who look suspiciously like harry and kim #someone smarter than me could write something about expecting a threat behind every corner and being a cop #(threat or enemy)#(the same happens with cuno's dad. well he is a threath but not for me personally #and with that other closed door too)

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shatterstar · 9 days

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I love leaving work feeling like my brain is going to explode I don’t even think it’s the work itself, it’s the social component—I have a new person I’m training this week—but being overwhelmed socially affects my ability to do my stupid little tasks. hopefully I feel better once I get home but like right now I feel like I’m getting beaten to death with psionic hammers

#i have to regain my ability to string words together in time for bookclub

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thatrandombystander · 9 months

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Girls in the groupchat when they finish reading Trigun Maximum volume 10.

#i am disTRAUGHT #wolfwood's death got me crying for real 😭😭😭#trigun #trimax #trigun maximum #trigunbookclub #ramblings of a bystander #still behind still behind the bookclub. but my cosplay is approaching completion... which will free up the reading time...

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revenantghost · 5 months

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Oh man hoo boy I'm very nervous to be running an event again tomorrow. I feel like Bookclub was honestly just a blind attempt to have fun and make myself read Trimax again but I am just a fool with a blog, hoping people will celebrate Trigun with me

#Yadda yadda #Still very shocked and so happy so many people joined bookclub that was absolutely BONKERS #I definitely don't expect even nearly that this time #Maybe a post or two a day #Maybe only just me rewatching when I have time lmao #BUT STILL #OUGH #ANXIETY MY BELOATHED #Off to read fanfic to distract myself

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destinyandcoins · 2 years

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shane madej: the whole idea of a mass hysteria is you don’t realize it, you’re not like “yeah we all participated in a mass hysteria, it was a real riot”

tumblr on nov 5th 2020: bet

also shane madej: no one thinks they’re susceptible to a shared delusion until it happens

also tumblr, about to collectively pretend we’re all superfans of some imaginary movie from the 70s: oh we definitely know we’re susceptible to a shared delusion. that’s a feature, not a bug

#goncharov #let me tell you. waking up and checking tumblr this morning was an EXPERIENCE #it's like the day everyone was discovering dracula daily and we were all collectively blogging about Our Friend Jonathan #except this time our bookclub material doesn't actually exist???#i guess?? if i'm following this correctly??#anyway i love the sense of community on this site when we all just unanimously decide to come together for a bit

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lestatlioncunt · 25 days

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big fan of ciri watching people work in gors velen and realizing there's nothing worse than working

#rena.txt #back on my the time of contempt bs this time for good bc i don't care for next months bookclub choice skdjskdj

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makima-s-most-smile · 9 months

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Trigun Maximum 8 Part 1

Emotional destruction Vol.2. There is more to come!

How… how has Nightow the style of 80s shoujo manga down to a T? I love it.

I didn’t see this at first, BUT KNIVES IS HOLDING A KNIFE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

01: Invasion

Of course, the Golden Gate-like-Bridge needs to be destroyed to show that the attack has begun. While the ark looks cool and all, it doesn’t really looks like something that can stay in the air. (really, Knives? Tell me how you plan to let the people on the ark live after you do the genocide. Self Absorbed bastard. This is your ark, for you alone.)

Yes, take even more agency from him.

Having his whole body weight on one point, the connector must hurt so much right now. I am sure it feels like it gets slowly torn out.

Legato could make a fortune by being a sport instructor. Just make me move! I pay you!

I wanna slap him so badly. Seriously. THANKS TO VASH?! He is running around trying to help them as much as he can!

KNIVES! YOU ARE THE REASON THAT YOUR SISTERS ARE ON THIS PLANET AT ALL! TELL ME AGAIN ABOUT YOUR SIN OF ACCIDENTALLY KILLING THE SISTERS THAT WERE ON THE 802 SHIPS. YOU DID NOT KNOW THAT YOUR FUCKING HAIR TURNS DARK WHEN YOU START TO DECAY! THE FIRST LAST RUN YOU SAW WAS LIKE 2 WEEKS AGO! TELL ME HOW MANY SISTERS YOU HAVE SEEN DIE, AGAIN?! You had 150 years to learn about this! 150 years and you failed to do so. Your sisters and their wellbeing aren’t that important to you, buddy. Don’t use them to give yourself validity. And don’t you dare to use Tesla again!

FUCKING FINALLY! I NEED SOMETHING MORE THAN CAPSLOCK TO MAKE MY RAGE ABOUT KNIVES’ DENIAL KNOWN!

Oh, tsundere Legato time. And Knives does not stop him. Does Knives truly not understand that Legato is starting to act not only on his own but against Knives’ stated interests?

At first I thought this was a moment of peace for Wolfwood that boils down to him finding his determination. But in hindsight, this is him knowing he is starting to get crushed between the rock and the hard place. He is waiting to act, he cannot act, even though most gruesome things are happening all around him and he is part of it. (Insert the: "Kitten, I'll be honest. Daddy is about to kill himself"-meme)

Who else thought about Carl? “That’s what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.” Knives, that kills people!

*snorts* Yeah, because you have had such a presence in the story til now. Tell me again, how lawful the world is. I'll wait. Yeah, at the bar of that nice granny with the guy that was nearly lynched with his truly innocent bestie.

I forgot about that. I forgot that Wolfwood is used to kill in the cities. I made a pained squeaky noise when I saw them. Someone shut Chapel up and hug Wolfwood!

Wolfwood’s past pulls him down. His training and way of life goes so strongly against his morals. And Chapel knows exactly how to use it to hurt Wolfwood.

But Wolfwood has already changed so much during the story. From the start, while he put his own life first, he never killed with any animosity, the didn't torture people. By following Vash’ (pretty selfdestructive) ruling, he found a way of going forward that fits his morals so much more. He cares about life and especially the lives of others. His responsibilities still stand, that’s why he is still able to kill, but this Wolfwood here is very far from the pupil Chapel had true power over.

Can someone shut this bitch up, please?

Chapel is a manipulator. He knows his “pupils” and knows how to put them down. He doesn’t plan to take Wolfwood in again. He just wants to hurt him. He wants revenge for Wolfwood acting out, for Wolfwood deserting the Eye of Michael's teachings. But this is a struggle for power over Wolfwood, too. Livio is a much better pupil in his eyes, since Chapel seemingly erased his character and wants successfully.

The antithesis of the blank ticket. Your past binds you down. You cannot start anew. Just give in and accept your given place in the world. It is Wolfwood's way of thinking, too. No wonder he hurts so much. Chapel’s teachings dug deep into him.

Wolfwood realises how deeply Chapel has dug his claws into Livio. That’s why he tries to force Chapel to make Livio stop and not Livio himself. But he has no power in this situation here. Chapel has the power since he has power over Livio. And, damn, he uses it to hurt Wolfwood in revenge. Wolfwood is desperately looking for a way out, but he cannot find one.

His sisters want him to stop, too. Not that he listens.

Vash is still hateful of himself for attacking Rem. He never stopped. Even working through his anger at Rem... The anger was replaced with selfhatred and ever since then he has been spiraling.

But the thought about people not changing… They talk about humanity, but isn’t it about Knives, too? I highly doubt that Knives can change. Everyone is able to, but not everyone chooses to do so. Knives cannot reflect upon what he has done, because then he himself and humanity wouldn’t be that different. Both twins are so good in seeing things just as black and white. Damn all of humanity or all of humanity is good, instead of what it truly is, grey.

OF COURSE HE SAID TESLA! This is so much not about Tesla. Poor girl is just a pawn for Knives, like everyone else. He was such a sensitive kid and now he cannot even realise his own true feelings, much less recognise feelings in other people. He is living a delusion.

It makes Knives an interesting villain, though. I like villains that you can somewhat empathise with. Every last one of us can end like him (without the outright genocide). He is a warning and he is not redeemable, however much I feel for him.

Ugh, yes, Vash is completely right.

But look at you, Vash. You are a bottle under so much pressure, too. You drinking away your pain does not erase it. You know the source, but you never started to deal with it at all. Why does the stuff you preach never reach you yourself?

But Knives turns away from Vash, again and again. Knives cannot open himself up to Vash. Anger and hate are feelings that are so much better than the vulnerable hurt and fear. Seriously, Vash, how long til it is enough?

“Then we will be even.” No, not really. The people who have hurt Knives are gone. There is no balance to be redone. Knives’ “even” means that the scales are completely destroyed and only he remains. Knives pumps out new victims of violence daily, the only words that are spoken are “Hate creates more hate, violence creates more violence.” Knives has been gone up in his crusade since the Great Fall. Everything after that was him actively searching for and creating more and more reasons to justify him causing the Great Fall and more importantly, killing Rem.

02: Silent Ruin

I shall save our imprisoned sisters! By imprisoning them in MY BODY! A much better idea! Knives does not care about them. Everyone has to agree with him. There is no group, there is no peace, there is only Knives. And Knives can only stop if only Knives remains. If he successfully erases humanity, then he will turn on his sisters, he will turn (more) on Vash.

I have to agree with one thing from Chapel. He taught Wolfwood really better than to let someone get away… Someone like Chapel… Just saying.

Wolfwood tries his best to protect his home. It is never enough, the odds are so against him. How must that feel? That you give your all, you put yourself between something that evil and children and it is not enough. Remembering Wolfwood’s second nightmare, he killed Chapel to protect the orphanage from Chapel. Maybe Wolfwood found out about the continued usage by Chapel just then.

“So many uses for the good-natured.” I don’t think Wolfwood gets that Chapel means him, too. Wolfwood has been used and abused by him. He is a victim. And he cannot see it. He only sees the things he has done, not that he literally had no choice there. And he lets all the sins fall back to him, making him completely monstrous in his own eyes.

Chapel is so sure that his grip on Livio is complete and I so hope that Wolfwood can prove him wrong.

There is something to be said about the arm sticking up into the air like the ship from the Great Fall. Even the angle is the same. This is something like the Second Fall.

Just a reminder that Wolfwood is on the ship, unable to do anything to stop this, waiting and hoping for something to happen so he can act. And it is eating him alive. He is isolated and completely alone. If he rebels now, his life would be not only forfeited, but he would also be unable to help when… if… the time comes. He has to kill in Knives’ name while he waits all his morals and pain aside. The deaths would happen anyway. But that doesn’t change Wolfwood from hating himself for doing so. Vash is at least actively fighting Legato, Wolfwood suffers a different kind of torture. And I am not gonna lie, I'd prefer to be in Vash' position instead of Wolfwood's.

So, like after the Great Fall. How many people died after the initial crash due to hunger, infighting and exposure? Has the population since then grown? Or is it still stagnating?

INSURANCE WOMEN! AHHHHHHHH!

03: Counterattack!!!

I just love Meryl and Milly as intelligence, checking out the situation in the different cities and bringing the info to the people who are able to do something.

I love the proactiveness, I love their care, I love their bravery.

Meryl looks so different. She has lost her spunk, her spark. She looks so much more downtrodden and depressed. Softer and hurt, really.

I love our brat Brad. Like Meryl and Milly, he is a good person who tries to help the way he can. He couldn’t go out, til now, because his expertise was needed, but he is ready to go at the frontlines.

It looks like none of them know what happened to Vash. The last people of the group who have seen him are Meryl and Milly and that was when he was driven out of the city.

FINALLY SHE TELLS SOMEONE!

And I didn’t get that Meryl knows everything… She saw more than Hoppered, but it looked like everything since Vash was adulty, but maybe Nightow retconned that one.

I have complicated feelings about this. Meryl wanted to get to know Vash and know of his enigmatic past. But narratively, Vash and she didn’t really do anything to get there. It was an accident. Vash didn’t need to change and open up to share this. And… that is an ongoing flaw of him, a flaw that has already cost him so much and we don’t see it changing. Vash not only gets her total empathy without opening up, he now gets it from all of Home (or at least the command). That said, I like that we see it affecting Meryl. She is traumatised, rightfully so. She is working through it either completely alone or only with Milly. For all the empathy Vash deserves for his life, he doesn’t really earn it by connecting to others. Others connect in his stead for him. While Meryl suffers for it alone, Vash profits from it. This is an ongoing pattern, not only with Meryl. With Wolfwood, too. How often did Wolfwood persist and run after Vash to keep on talking, while Vash avoided? And it irks me more and more, the further the volumes go. Vash is a self made martyr, but it is the people that care about him that pay most of the price. Vash needs an Oh-Moment, but I don’t trust that even that would be enough.

Oh. Vash fought Knives before! Until now it looked like July was his first “real” fight with Knives, but he had altercations before. I would love to know more about those, because from what we saw in July and Jeneora Rock, Vash had so much trouble confronting Knives. Vash’ conflict avoidance, especially with Knives, is such a big part of him. He actively goes against Wolfwood’s advice to check out the erased towns more than once. We know that Vash has a real inner conflict going on about Knives, that he says he wants to kill him but his actions say otherwise. Did no one zoom in on that in the past? Or wasn’t it there then?

Young Luida!

Is he fighting on his own? Maybe, maybe not. But I love that the humans are now empowered enough to go and help Vash and don’t leave it to him. It doesn’t look like they wanted to in the past, either, but Vash left them no choice. Now Vash needs them, even if they don’t know how much.

No, Luida! Don’t join the selfhate club! What counts is your actions and not your thoughts. And you are the least of a coward. You lead a fucking company. Same for you, Meryl! You stood by Vash’ side. Yes, you didn’t completely understand the danger you were in, but may I remind you of Keele? Please don’t let yourself get pulled down by those martyrs. You do enough and are strong enough.

And next to everyone is like that. People don’t want conflict, they don’t want to risk being hurt or worse killed. They don’t want their loved ones to die. So if someone else is able to bear all the responsibility and pain, they feel relief. But that often leads to people like Vash and even more like Wolfwood. People who have to bear the gross alone. But what counts is action. And Meryl is going out into a warzone, trying to help and get info, Luida is leading a resistance.

Being a leader is such a difficult position. On the one hand you are safe from the frontlines, but everyone's life is on your shoulders. Your mistakes add up and your victories are easily forgotten. It is so easy to see leaders as highpaid CEOs that cash in while the workers suffer. Luida is not one of those and I hope she does not stick to that fallacy.

The plants share their memory. Vash has been shown to connect to his sisters via his mind, why wouldn’t his sisters be unable to do it, too? And this is a sign, this is a cry for Knives to stop. His sisters do not want this. They could show him hurtful things, but instead they show him humans appreciating them. What is important for me in that scene is that it is not only a child asking questions, it is a mother teaching the child ageappropriately about the plants, showing her own gratitude to the plant in question and it then gets reflected in the husband, too. The plants care for humans, they want to help. (Little siderant about angels. Angels are so much like machines. They exist for their godgiven purpose and are satisfied with this. They do not wish for more. Dependent plants seem more and more like angels, especially with Nightow saying they see humanity as their god. Independent plants, like humans, have no ingrained purpose and maybe part of the twin’s struggle comes from this. They don’t know their purpose, but they feel like they need one. Nice reflection of the modern human.)

Knives is visibly upset by his sister’s memory. Of course, since it goes against what he preaches. It shakes his resolve. Vash seems shaken, too. I cannot really put his expression there. Well, he is most likely in pain and enduring Legato. But beyond that… who knows.

I am not sure how to interpret these panels. Especially with it ending on Wolfwood smoking, what we have seen before is him enduring and waiting, too. Could it be that the dream of the plants is on par with Vash and Wolfwood, with them enduring and waiting for their time to act to give balance back to humanity and plants? Or is it a foreshadowing that those two will help the plants achieve this balance?

COUNTERATTACK! THE TIME OF WAITING IS OVER! Yes, Knives… you are so completely rational, standing at the front of your battleship, laughing maniacally.

Plant memories. Good ones. Even the researcher with the cross that got halved by Knives is part of it. His sisters see the good in humans, how they try and they appreciate it. Moreso, they actively use these memories on Knives to stop him, to make him listen.

Even here. Brad doesn’t want to attack the innocent plants. But Knives uses them as shield. Brad has to do this to get through to Knives, to have any hope of success. And again, a struggle that is caused by Knives himself that in the end hurts mainly his sisters, while he is unaffected.

And this is what the regular panels of Wolfwood smoking boiled down to. He waited for a time to act.

It looks creepy and quiet, like a predator inching in on his prey, looming over it in a real display of power difference. An omen of death and judgement. But Wolfwood also looks like a broken man, a dead man walking at the same time. Like I said, Wolfwood has been through his own torture for seven months and I truly believe that it has left massive scars in him.

#trigun bookclub #trigunbookclub #Trimax 8.1 #god I hate chapel so much #the more the volumes go on the more I feel for Wolfwood #give this guy a rest #and Meryl #the first time reading I didn't like her #now I wanna protecc

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merylstryfestan · 10 months

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Trigun Maximum Vol 6 Ch 1&2

Hey friends! I found this volume so interesting I actually decided to contribute to the bookclub conversation for once! Except that there's so much to talk about that I have to split this into multiple parts lol

I'm going to start with chapters 1 & 2, since I think they pair together well, but this is going to get super long so buckle in!

Poor Meryl :( she is very clearly still trying to process everything that happened at Dragon's Nest, and this is the first evidence we see of how that's affecting her.

She goes and has a chat with Wolfwood, evidently trying to gauge his thoughts on the matter.

Except that it seems he's also trying to figure out how much she knows, without revealing anything himself. Also, he's such a bad liar, like how has he made it this far?? And this is also when he tells her the she and Milly should leave, specifically stating that Vash himself is too dangerous for them to be traveling with, hinting at Wolfwood's own fear of Vash which is addressed in chapter 2.

I found these panels interesting for two reasons: first, the injury to Vash's hand. I assume this must be from when Elendira shot a giant nail through his angel arm, so it's interesting to see that injuries sustained in that state persist when his arm goes back to normal. Also, this is the first we see of Vash participating in self-destructive behavior in this volume, and don't worry, there's more later :')))

But moving on to the fight at the bank. There's a lot I find interesting about this fight. First, Vash's approach here is... something, and I can't say I fully understand his reasoning. Rather than his more typical "Haha I'm just a silly little guy, don't fight, let's just talk this out!" routine, it's more similar to that time in Trimax Vol 1 where he's intentionally acting deranged, presumably in an attempt to intimidate his opponents into giving up. I don't know, I feel like it was a weird choice in this situation.

But another thing to note, is even after it's made clear that the act isn't really working, we see a couple more panels of Vash looking, well, scary tbh. And it's not that we haven't seen him looking frightening before, but in the context of this relatively low-stakes fight, it's pretty odd. And also in volume 1, once the intimidation tactic ultimately failed, he gave it up. so what's going on?

But then we have to remember that we're pretty much watching this fight from Meryl's pov, which is important. In the moment, Meryl's conscious thoughts tell us that she's scared for Vash. Will he have the determination to fight, to pull the trigger, etc. However, based on how we (and presumably she) are seeing him in this fight, as well as some events later in chapter 5, subconsciously she's very much afraid of Vash too, and she just doesn't want to admit that to herself.

There's even a moment right before the fight ends, where as far as we can see, Vash isn't really in immediate danger anymore, and he even gets his own gun back, but we still get a whole page with a frightening looking Vash with Meryl screaming and collapsing in the background. It's been made clear by now that he's able to fight just fine, so that can't be the reason for Meryl's reaction here.

Still, by the end of the chapter, Meryl hasn't put this together herself, and instead admires how he's strong enough to keep fighting despite his regrets. Don't worry, there's more on this in chapter 5 :))

And on to chapter 2!

This chapter also starts with a nightmare (you seeing why I paired these chapters together? :3 ). This one is Wolfwood's, except instead of it directly being about Vash himself, it's about Knives, but we'll see how Wolfwood struggles to separate the two in his mind.

Wolfwood draws the connection between these two events, identifying the power the twins have to literally exude fear in a way that physically affects others nearby. This solidifies to him how the twins really are the same species, completely different from humans, despite Vash's very human tendencies. And that makes them terrifying! But then we get one of the most iconic panels in all of Trigun.

The juxtaposition here is top tier! Vash, our lovely protagonist, smiling and relaxed, happy to see his friend. Contrasted with the direct evidence of his power to destroy, Wolfwood having just called him a monster in his thoughts. Wolfwood is also caught off guard by this stark irony, and then we get another of the most iconic panels in all of Trigun.

The themes and motifs!! Now Wolfwood is the one looking down on Vash, now he's the one framed by destruction. His expression is hard to read but it could be anger? fear? By the next page, Wolfwood has put his gun away, Vash (supposedly) unaware of what's happened. But the fact is, Wolfwood's experiencing almost a kind of cognitive dissonance here. Knives is a monster, who Wolfwood wants dead -> Vash is Knives' brother -> Vash is also a monster, and Wolfwood should want him dead.

Except it's not that simple is it? Because the chapter goes on, and we see how Wolfwood doesn't just protect Vash during the fight, but they fight together in perfect tandem, back to back, a well oiled machine, hardly even exchanging words.

And when it's all over, Vash turns his back to Wolfwood without a second thought, completely trusting him now the same way he does when they fight together. And Wolfwood has the thought, "Man, everything's different when I'm back to back with him." Wolfwood also trusts Vash and is able to turn his back to him, despite everything. And even to himself that hardly makes sense, but it's true.

And so yeah, these two chapters very much complement each other, showing two of Vash's closest friends and their fear towards him and how they react to it. Meryl, at this point, is trying to ignore her fear of Vash, and instead focuses on her fear for Vash and his safety. Wolfwood very much acknowledges how scared he is of Vash and what he can do, but at the same time must admit that he trusts him anyway. Which is all some great setup for what happens in chapter 5!

Anyway, thanks for reading all this! Posts analyzing the rest of the chapters to follow :3

#trigun bookclub #i've literally put less time and effort into college essays than this lol #but what can i say #i like to be thorough #trigun maximum #tw self destructive behavior #trigunbookclub #gabriel.txt

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