thinking about the lynch’s false mirrors.
declan as a mirror to niall. a son made in his father’s image.
ronan as a mirror to niall. a father choosing to model a son after himself, after his brother.
matthew as a mirror to his brothers, to his father. ronan manifesting a kinder, softer mirror of declan’s face in a brother that would be better than either of them, for both of them.
ronan having to look at declan after niall’s death, seeing his father’s face, not just in the mirror, but in a brother that is not his father, not his idol.
declan having to look at ronan after niall’s death, seeing his father’s face, not just in the mirror, but in a brother all too like his father, dangerous and horrible and lovely.
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the adam parrish - richard gansey situation is so REAL between two best friends who admire each other and have almost like opposites personalities. yes when you're the awkward one while your friend is such an extrovert and get the whole room looking at him when he enters is something that can cause this envy feeling. why cant you just be like him? why do you have to be so weird and cant talk properly to people? and then money. why did life came so easily for him and i have to f myself up for the bare minimum? his family is rich and amazing and have no problems and there's so much love why didn't it happen to me instead.
and then there's gansey, who doesn't understand why him instead of noah, who tries to measure his words but they are like swords. who never felt like he belonged anywhere until henrietta. who never felt like he was truly participating in his own life. who knew he was going to die and who was destined to greatness, which was wanting to live, but dying for a greater good.
adam and gansey, the friends that "when gansey was polite, it made him powerful. when adam was polite, he was giving power away."
gansey, who "was just a guy with a lot of stuff and a hole inside him that chewed away more of his heart every year. they were always walking away from him. but he never seemed able to walk away from them."
adam, who "what a lie 'unknowable' was. the only person who didn't know adam was himself. what a proud idiot you have been, adam parrish." and "for so long, he'd wanted gansey to see him as equal, but it was possible that all this time, the only person who needed to see this was adam"
adam and gansey "friendship of the unshakable kind, friendship you could swear on, that could be busted nearly to breaking and come back stronger than before. adam held out his right hand and gansey clasped it to a handshake, like they were men, because they were men."
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how on earth did maggie stiefvater somehow write a story in which every time i read it im suddenly 17 again
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yeah cocaine sounds alright i guess but have you ever tried being a gay 14 year old reading this line for the first time
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oh yeah don’t mind me i’m just thinking about how blue and gansey are technically the main characters of this story but it’s still not entirely about them and how ronan isn’t the hero of this story but he is the hero of a story that branches off from it and how adam would’ve been the villain in a worse version of the story but he had too much loyalty to the narrative to let his friends go and how the story could never be about noah but it also could never be about anyone except for noah
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everyone’s always like ‘ronans so catholic’ in reference to like his deep spirituality or shame in dreaming or whatever but nobody uses it to talk about how even after adam and ronan made out shirtless all night he made them sleep in separate bedrooms. like that is the most catholic he’s ever been
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