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#Accord Diazepam pill
diazepam1 · 6 months
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avalior · 2 months
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While it was strongly claimed during Cosmic Turnabout that Clay caused Solomon's unconsciousness by overdosing him on his anxiety medication, this was not the case.
Solomon's PTSD would likely be treated with SSRIs, with the most likely prescriptions being venlafaxine, sertraline, or paroxetine. Of these three, only sertraline has an explicit side effect of potential loss of consciousness -- however, experiencing this side effect would be cause for hospitalisation and would not be conducive to space travel once Solomon was conscious. The only other alternative would be to cause serotonin syndrome by forcing Solomon's serotonin levels to spike beyond control, through either a medication overdose or combining his existing medication with other tablets to raise his serotonin.
However, serotonin syndrome would also run considerable risk of seizures and arrhythmia, which again would not be conducive to space travel and would be far too inexact as to how much of the medication to give Solomon without a) killing him b) causing him to be entirely unfit for space travel, rather than just knocked out for the launch and c) causing any of the other side effects of serotonin syndrome instead of unconsciousness in isolation.
This also does not tally with Simon explicitly stating that traces of medication were found in Solomon's system -- presuming Solomon had blood drawn shortly following Clay's attempted murder being discovered and police arriving, there is no feasible way that Solomon's unconsciousness could have been induced by his medication as the volume needed to cause the unconsciousness would show in far higher quantities in bloodwork than just "traces".
In truth, Clay assisted Yuri in 'managing' Solomon's anxiety with the launch by including generic sleeping tablets in his usual medication, passing them off as additional vitamins and assisting in this deception by taking visually similar actual vitamins himself. It was these tablets which caused Solomon's loss of consciousness for the HAT-2 launch; far safer than hamfistedly overdosing Solomon on his medication until he caused unconsciousness.
Clay worked under the assumption, with Yuri's deceitful confirmation, that the drugging was consensual and Solomon was aware of this potential plan, with Solomon being consensually unaware of the details as to avoid further anxiety. Following his recovery from the Phantom's attack, once he is medically cleared, Clay does stand trial for Solomon's spiking on charges of infliction of bodily harm.
#( h. ) clay.#spiking /#drug mention /#[ sertraline and ssris can also cause memory problems and forgetfulness according to the nhs ]#[ so there's solomon's erratic testimony still explained (as well as a heaping dose of he's lying anyway) ]#[ solomon starbuck is a certified sertraline girlie it is known ]#[ turning cosmic turnabout over in my head like an interesting rock and the game does not make sense ]#[ athena and phoenix also refer to them as 'tranquillisers' not anxiety meds which doesn't tally with ]#[ there is the potential that solomon is given benzodiazepines which ARE sedatives but are only for anxiety not PTSD ]#[ you're not supposed to take diazepam for more than 4 weeks but sol testifies he's been on the meds adhoc for 7 years ]#[ diazepam and sertraline reportedly don't interact so he could have been dosed with diazepam to knock him out but at that point ]#[ just get the night nurse out? ]#[ most diazepam looks fairly distinctive (blue or yellow from what i'm seeing?) and not at all vitamin like ]#[ there's no way clay at 23 could force solomon at 35 to take tablets he knows aren't right and still have sol think of him so fondly ]#[ not to mention you're not supposed to operate heavy machinery on diazepam and you can't get much heavier than a wholeass space shuttle ]#[ and since yuri knew abt the medication he'd have known what sol was taking ]#[ clay's trial will have a whole other post but know it has shades of lamiroir's window testimony about it ]#[ tldr clay didn't overdose sol on his medication but he did dose him with sleeping pills bc he's king of the himbos and listened to yuri ]
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zopiclonenextday1 · 4 days
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Accord Diazepam 10mg Tablets: Usage and Safety Information
Accord Diazepam 10mg Pills contain the active ingredient diazepam, which belongs to a class of medications known as benzodiazepines. Diazepam is primarily used for its sedative, muscle relaxant, anxiolytic (anti-anxiety), and anticonvulsant properties.
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pharmacymeds25 · 5 months
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anxietytabletuk · 1 year
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thesleepingpills · 3 months
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Demystifying the Mechanism: How Sleeping Pills Work, Unveiling the Effects of Bensedin 10mg Diazepam
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Understanding How Sleeping Pills Work:
Understanding how Sleeping Pills Work. Sleeping pills, also known as sedative-hypnotics, work by targeting the brain’s neurotransmitters responsible for regulating sleep and wakefulness. One of the key neurotransmitters involved in this process is gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA). GABA acts as a natural tranquilizer, calming neural activity and promoting relaxation. Sleeping pills like Bensedin 10mg Diazepam enhance the effects of GABA, leading to increased drowsiness and facilitating the onset of sleep.
Bensedin 10mg Diazepam belongs to the benzodiazepine class of drugs, which exert their sedative effects by enhancing the activity of GABA receptors in the brain. By binding to specific sites on these receptors, Bensedin 10mg Diazepam enhances the inhibitory actions of GABA, resulting in a calming and sleep-inducing effect.
Effects of Bensedin 10mg Diazepam:
Induces Sleep: Bensedin 10mg Diazepam helps initiate sleep by promoting relaxation and reducing the time it takes to fall asleep. Individuals experiencing insomnia or difficulty in initiating sleep often find relief with Bensedin 10mg Diazepam.
Prolongs Sleep Duration: Beyond aiding in falling asleep, Bensedin 10mg Diazepam also helps in maintaining sleep throughout the night. By enhancing the inhibitory actions of GABA, it reduces the likelihood of nocturnal awakenings, leading to a longer and more restorative sleep.
Muscle Relaxation: In addition to its sedative properties, Bensedin Diazepam exhibits muscle relaxant effects. This can be particularly beneficial for individuals experiencing tension or muscle spasms, contributing to a more comfortable sleep experience.
Anxiolytic Effects: Bensedin 10mg Diazepam is also known for its anxiolytic properties, meaning it helps alleviate anxiety and promote a sense of calmness. By reducing feelings of stress and apprehension, it can further facilitate the transition into a peaceful sleep.
Anticonvulsant Properties: Beyond its primary use as a sleeping aid, Bensedin 10mg Diazepam is also utilized in the management of certain seizure disorders due to its anticonvulsant effects. This dual functionality highlights its versatility as a therapeutic agent.
Potential for Dependence and Withdrawal: It’s important to note that while Bensedin Diazepam 10mg can be highly effective in treating sleep disturbances, prolonged use or misuse can lead to dependence and withdrawal symptoms. Therefore, it should be used under the guidance of a healthcare professional and according to prescribed dosages.
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Conclusion
Understanding how sleeping pills work, particularly the mechanisms and effects of Bensedin 10mg Diazepam, sheds light on their role in promoting restful sleep. By targeting GABA receptors in the brain and enhancing inhibitory neurotransmission, Bensedin 10mg Diazepam helps induce and maintain sleep, alleviating insomnia and improving overall sleep quality. However, it’s essential to use such medications responsibly and under medical supervision to mitigate the risk of dependence and ensure optimal therapeutic outcomes.
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crimechannels · 8 months
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By • Olalekan Fagbade JUST IN; NDLEA operatives intercept four tons of illicit drugs The National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA), has intercepted four tons of illicit and controlled drugs in seven states within one week, its Spokesman, Femi Babafemi, has said. The drugs include nitrous oxide popularly known as laughing gas, skunk, codeine syrup, methamphetamine and tramadol, he added in a statement on Sunday in Abuja. Babafemi said that the seizures were carried out during interdiction operations in Lagos, Kogi, FCT, Jigawa, Kaduna, Sokoto and Edo states. He explained that 1,194 cylinders of laughing gas with a total weight of 2,547.2 kilograms was intercepted in Toyota Sienna buses on Sept. 22, along Okene-Lokoja-Abuja expressway. Two suspects: Onyebuchi Ikpozu and Kenneth Igwe, conveying the consignment to Abuja for distribution, have been taken into custody. He said one of the Toyota Sienna buses marked KTU 582 HV was conveying 99 cartons containing 594 cylinders weighing 1,267.200kgs, while the other bus, registered FKJ 329 YA, was loaded with 100 cartons with 600 cylinders weighing 1,280kgs. According to him, a 48-year-old woman, Mrs Ugo Eluba was also arrested in Abuja in a follow up operation after 2,400 ampules of pentazocine injection and 100,000 tablets of Exol-5 intercepted in Kogi were traced to her. “In the FCT, operatives intercepted 977 kilograms of skunk on Sept. 20 in a trailer marked LSR 343 XW, bearing cartons of maggi. “The skunk consignment was loaded into the truck at Ipele junction in Ondo state. “959kgs of the substance were meant for distribution in Sokoto state, the rest was to be dropped off at Gwagwalada. “Two suspects, Auwal Mohammed and Abdullahi Abubakar have been arrested in connection with the seizure,” he added. Babafemi also said two suspects: Mutari Abdulazeez, 31, and Ayuba Madaki, 28, were arrested on Sept. 23 at Zuba, FCT with different quantities of methamphetamine, cannabis and 13, 930 pills of tramadol. He further said that during a stop and search operation along Kano-Hadejia road in Jigawa, two suspects, Shuaibu Yusif, 27, and Abubakar Hussaini, 20, were arrested on Sept. 23, with 89.1kgs of skunk. Babafemi said that 6,000 ampules of pentazocine injection were recovered from a suspect, Usman Sidi, 35, on Sept. 18 along Abuja-Forest road, Kaduna State, while on his way to Bauchi State. He said that a follow up operation in Bauchi led to the arrest of the actual owner of the consignment, Dominic Chukwuma, 35, on Sept. 19. The NDLEA spokesman added that at least 2.58kgs of Diazepam and 36.55kgs of pentazocine iinjectionwere recovered in Chukwuma’s house. “Two other suspects: Inuwa Nuhu and Isiyaku Dahiru Sani were also arrested same Tuesday in connection with the seizure of 49 blocks of cannabis sativa concealed in a black sack weighing 26kgs in a commercial vehicle coming from Ogere in Ogun to Kano. “A total of 183kgs of Ghana Loud, a strain of cannabis, were also recovered from the body compartments of a J5 bus intercepted in Lagos on Sept. 20,” he said. Babafemi disclosed that operatives in Sokoto State, on Sept. 19 arrested one Charles Okeke, 44, with 473 bottles of codeine syrup at Unguwar Kosai area of Sokoto. The NDLEA spokesman said that in Edo, 365 blocks of compressed cannabis sativa weighing 258kgs were recovered from a Toyota Camry car marked KTU 886 EZ at Igarra, Akoko Edo LGA. Meanwhile, the agency in a massive operation from Sept, 11 to Sept. 13, in a thick forests in Ijesha Isu-Ekiti, Ikole Local Government Area of Ekiti State, destroyed 40 tons of cannabis plants covering 16 hectares of farmland. (NAN)
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hippiemikelove-blog · 10 months
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onlinemedicine02 · 11 months
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Accord Diazepam 10MG Tablets' next-day delivery medication is used for the short-term treatment of insomnia in adults. It is recommended when anxiety difficulties have become incapacitating and are causing the person extreme stress.
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thehauntedteaparty · 2 years
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Where is Valerie K.?
TW: child neglect, child abuse
Valerie K. (7 years old) is a girl from the Czech Republic who has been missing since 2017. She has vanished overnight with no trace. Valerie and her siblings lived with their grandmother Soňa Kvasničková who abused and tortured Valerie and her brother. Could Soňa Kvasničková be involved in Valerie’s disappearance?
Valerie and her siblings first ended up in Klokánek (an institution for children requiring immediate help). In 2016, Soňa Kvasničková got Valerie and her siblings into foster care after her son’s death since their biological mother was not able to take care of them. However, the grandmother did not provide a lovely and caring home. She rather provided a home full of abuse and torture of Valerie and her brother. According to the court, Kvasničková was brutally punishing Valerie on a daily basis with excessive beatings with her hands and also various tools, such as a kitchen turner, ladle, wooden spoon, vacuum cleaner stick, tape and other household items, all over her body - including head and face. She punched her face, beat her and kicked her until she got multiple bruises and bloody injuries.
When the minor cried, Kvasničková shoved a rag into her mouth and masked the bruises on her face with make-up powder. Soňa Kvasničková used to leave Valerie tied to a pipe in the hall for several hours or to a toilet bowl without any food nor beverage. She even forced her siblings to beat her. The abuse has been confirmed by witnesses and Valerie’s siblings. Two witnesses stated that Kvasničková wanted Diazepam pills from them for Valerie so she’d “calm down”. The biological mother of the children also noticed signs of abuse on Valerie and so did teachers from the kindergarten. What is more, there was even a photo evidence from a swimming pool in Kvasničková’s phone. The kindergarten teachers alarmed the authorities, however, after police investigated Kvasničková, they postponed the case as “there had not been any signs of abuse”.
Valerie’s siblings expressed they haven’t seen their 7 years old sister since December 2017. One day, Kvasničková beat Valerie that much that her face was swollen. The next day morning, Valerie’s sister found her in bed, not moving at all. She thought her little sister is dead. The children had to go to school, but when they came back in the afternoon, Valerie was gone. The grandmother claimed Valerie went to an orphanage for some kind of treatment because she was “a bad girl”. Kvasničková claimed, for more than 6 months, that Valerie is with her aunt in Germany. Another version of Valerie’s story and location was that she was with a woman “she really liked”. The grandmother also forbid the children to talk about it. A lot of people believe Valerie is dead, this has never been confirmed.
Soňa Kvasničková never admitted to beating her granddaughter and claimed that her siblings’ statements were manipulated. While in court, she explained that her children were satisfied. But there is more to this case.
In 1983, Soňa Kvasničková stood in front of a court for abusing and torturing her own 3 children. She didn’t feed them and she brutally beat them together with her boyfriend at that time. According to the court, one of her children (son) was treated very brutally and beaten excessively, as evidenced by multiple scars in the hairy part of the head, shoulder, torso and back, causing fractures of the nose, right forearm and left upper limb. The boy was found to be completely neglected and showed signs of below-average nutrition, apathy and severe mental retardation. At the same time, the couple tortured their then seven-year-old daughter, who, due to excessive beatings, reduced her mental abilities to mental retardation. For this, Soňa Kvasničková got 200 hours of community service, was then imposed by the court in 2002 for failing to send her son, the now deceased Valerie's father, and three other children, to school.
Unfortunately, the district court did not know about any of the offenses, because the old convictions are eventually deleted from the criminal record in the Czech Republic. They remain only in the so-called copy, which is received only by police officers, prosecutors, the Ministry of Justice, the President’s Office and criminal judges, and do not make their civilian counterparts.
Soňa Kvasničková was sentenced to 8 years in prison and she was also obliged to pay the injured.
The case has been reopened recently as a new person is involved in the case. In spring 2018, an employee of the Department of Social and Legal Protection of Children was checking up if Soňa Kvasničková took care of her four grandchildren. She noted that there was only a common mess at home, Kvasničková was cooking, and there was also a bowl of fruit on the table. The social worker closed the case, saying there were no concerns, although she didn’t even see Valerie. Kvasničková told the social worker that the minor was in the kindergarten. In fact, Valerie hasn’t been in kindergarten for several months.
The investigation of the social worker is now ongoing.
Valerie’s disappearance remains unsolved. 
(Possible updates coming.)
note: this is everything i could find about the case. all sources are in Czech language only, unfortunately. that’s why i decided to write about it as i think Valerie deserves her voice back.
originally posted on my now deactivated blog dailyinsomnia.
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Valerie K., a 7 years old girl, from the Czech Republic has been missing since 2017. She has vanished overnight with no trace. Valerie and her siblings lived with their grandmother Soňa Kvasničková who abused and tortured Valerie and her brother. Could Kvasničková be involved in Valerie’s disappearance?
Valerie and her siblings first ended up in Klokánek (an institution for children requiring immediate help). In 2016, Soňa Kvasničková got Valerie and her siblings into foster care after her son’s death as their biological mother was not able to take care of them. However, the grandmother did not provide a lovely and caring home, she rather provided a home full of abuse and torture of little Valerie and her brother. According to a court, Kvasničková was brutally punishing Valerie on a daily basis with excessive beatings with her hands and also various tools, such as a kitchen turner, ladle, wooden spoon, vacuum cleaner stick, tape and other household items, all over her body - including head and face. She punched her face, beat her and kicked her until she got multiple bruises and bloody injuries.
When the minor cried, Kvasničková shoved a rag into her mouth and masked the bruises on her face with powder. Kvasničková left Valerie tied for many hours to a pipe in the hall or to a toilet bowl without any food and drink. She even forced her siblings to beat her. The abuse has been confirmed by witnesses and Valerie’s siblings. Two witnesses stated that Kvasničková wanted Diazepam pills from them for Valerie so she’d “calm down”. The biological mother of the children also noticed signs of abuse on Valerie, as well as teachers from kindergarten. What is more, there was even a photo evidence from a swimming pool in Kvasničková’s phone. The kindergarten teachers alarmed police, however, after police investigated Kvasničková, they postponed the case as “there had not been any signs of abuse”.
Valerie’s siblings expressed they haven’t seen their 7 years old sister since December 2017. One day, Kvasničková beat Valerie that much that her face was swollen. In the morning the next day, Valerie’s sister found her in bed, not moving at all. She though her little sister is dead. The children had to go to school but when they came back in the afternoon, Valerie was gone. The grandmother claimed Valerie went to an orphanage for some kind of a treatment because she was “a bad girl”. Kvasničková claimed, for more than 6 months, that Valerie is with her aunt in Germany. Another version of Valerie’s location was that she was with a woman “she really liked”. The grandmother also forbid the children to talk about it. A lot of people believe Valerie is dead, this has never been confirmed.
Soňa Kvasničková never admitted to beating her granddaughter and claimed that her siblings’ statements were manipulated. She explained to the court that her children were satisfied. But there is more to the case.
In 1983, Soňa Kvasničková stood in front of a court for abusing and torturing her own 3 children. She didn’t feed them and together with her boyfriend at that time, she brutally beat them as well. According to the court, one of her children (son) was treated brutally and beaten excessively, as evidenced by multiple scars in the hairy part of the head, shoulder, torso and back, causing fractures of the nose, right forearm and left upper limb. The boy was found to be completely neglected and showed signs of below-average nutrition, apathy and severe mental retardation. At the same time, the couple tortured their then seven-year-old daughter, who, due to excessive beatings, reduced her mental abilities to mental retardation. For this, she got 200 hours of community service, was then imposed by the court in 2002 for failing to send her son, the now deceased father Valerie, and three other children, to school.
Unfortunately, the district court did not know about any of the offenses, because the old convictions are eventually deleted from the criminal record in Czech Republic. They remain only in the so-called copy, which is received only by police officers, prosecutors, the Ministry of Justice, the President’s Office and criminal judges, and do not make their civilian counterparts.
Soňa Kvasničková was sentenced to 8 years in prison and she was also obliged to pay the injured.
The case has been reopened recently as a new person is involved in the case. In spring 2018, an employee of the Department of Social and Legal Protection of Children was checking up if Soňa Kvasničková took care of her four grandchildren. She noted that there was only a common mess at home, Kvasničková was cooking, and there was also a bowl of fruit on the table. The social worker closed the case, saying there were no concerns, althought she didn’t even see Valeria. Kvasničková told the social worker the minor was in kindergarten, in fact, Valerie hasn’t been in kindergarten for several months.
The investigation of the social worker is now ongoing.
Valerie’s disappearance remains unsolved. 
(Possible updates coming.)
note: this is everything i could find about the case. all sources are in Czech language only, unfortunately. that’s why i decided to write about it as i think Valerie deserves her voice back.
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loudsuitlover · 4 years
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Doctor Harry XIII. El Pájaro Azul
A/N: This is smut, filfthy and meaningful because that’s a thing; and some angst but some fluff too. 
Thanks for all the support and the time you put not only on my story but also on talking to me, you guys are awesome! 
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INDIE’S POV
Something stirs me awake. I don’t know when I fell asleep but through sleepy eyes I can see Harry tucking me into bed. He’s left my laptop on my desk too and the only light on is the one coming from his phone screen on the bedside table.
“What are you doing?” I croak.
“Tucking you into bed, Sleeping Beauty. Fell asleep on your Brad Pitt” he jokes “seems like you don’t like him that much to me.”
I smile at his silliness and feel him press a chaste kiss on my cheek.
“Don’t leave.” I let my sleepy mind take over.
“I won’t. I’m just not sleepy yet.”
“Well, cuddle with me.” I pout with my eyes closed and feel him getting into bed next to me.
I rest my head on his chest and let him invade my senses. His scent, the sound of his heartbeat, his warmth…
“Harry”
“Yes.”
“Next time we could watch Ad Astra.”
“Please tell me you’re kidding.”
“I like that movie. You know Roy McBride actually reminds me of me.”  
“Okay, I guess this is the kind of silly things you say when you’re falling asleep.”
“He says ´so many times in my life I screwed up: I've talked when I should've listened, I've been harsh when I should've been tender´ and I’ve done that a lot.”
I feel his hands holding me. I like being this close to him.
“I am focused on the essentials, to the exclusion of all else. I'm unsure of the future but I'm not concerned. I will rely on those closest to me, and I will share their burdens, as they share mine. I will live and I will love.”
I fall asleep.
I’m cold. I shimmy to warm myself up and notice my quilt covers me up to my forehead. I finally open my eyes and realize I’m alone in my bed. Checking the time on my phone, I realize it’s four am. I remember Harry telling me he wasn’t going to leave before I fell asleep but he might have if he didn’t manage to sleep himself.
I can finally breathe through my nose without a single bother but my mouth is dry, probably because of the salty popcorn. I get up from my bed decided on drinking from the tap on the bathroom but when I make my way back towards my bed, my heart almost stops beating.
Harry’s sitting on one of the chairs on my sitting room holding his head on his hands and his elbows on his knees. He almost looks like a statue, a very sad one too, like he just lost a beloved one and it breaks my heart to see him like that.
“Are you okay?”
Harry jumps on his seat and lifts his head. I’ve scared him.
“Go back to bed.”
But I walk towards him wrapping my arms around my body. When I’m close enough and he looks up at me. I can see his eyes bloodshot and tired. He hasn’t managed to sleep.
“Leave me alone, Indie. Go back to bed.”
He’s getting mad. I can tell by the tone of his voice, harsh despite the low volume, and his tensed shoulders.
“Don’t talk to me like that.”
I confront him but still take a seat on the chair in front of him. I hug my knees to my chest to fight the cold and when I rest my temple on my knees, I see his laptop closed on the table.
When I look back at him, he’s staring at me with a hard superior gesture, as if he didn’t need me nor want me here, but I can still see the desperation or even the pain in his eyes and that’s enough for me to stay. I don’t know why he’s seems so anxious or why it’s so hard for him to sleep but I guess I don’t need to.
I think about what he told me before dinner, about him wanting me to open up and tell him things and I open my mouth to tell him about my own nightmares as I bring my hand to his hair so I can remove it from his forehead.
“Can you just leave me the fuck alone?”
I freeze on the spot.
“I’ve said it once but I’ll say it again. No one talks to me like that, much less at my own home so either you stop or you get out.”
He sighs and drops his head on his hands again, tangling his fingers on his hair and contributing to the messy look.
“Sorry, Indie… It’s just…” I can hear how tired he is. “Shit, I’m sorry, baby.”
It must be terrible, to be tired and not to be able to sleep and my heart aches for him.
“You can’t sleep?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” His tone gets harsh again but he regrets it the second his eyes meet mine. He looks like a lost puppy. “I left the fucking pills at home.”
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
“Are you a living diazepam?”
I dodge his curt behaviour. I think I deserve it but I also think this might help him understand me. We’re curt when we’re not good.
Standing up from my chair, I slowly walk towards him and feel his surprised eyes study me as I place my hands on his shoulders and push his torso so that he’s opened to me instead of closing off. His lips part and I know he’s as lost as I am. I feel his eyes calmly study me, they roam my body up and down from my neck to my feet and then back up. He takes more time in some parts than in others, but in general, it’s a complete examination of my body still in my winter pyjamas.
I can’t quite read him but it scares me that I have this effect on him. He already seems to be more calmed and the only thing I did was stand before him motionless as if I was just another piece of furniture on my sitting room. He takes a deep breath and when our eyes meet, I know what that gaze means, I know what he wants. It’s the same eyes that melt me.
With a confidence I didn’t know I have and without really knowing why, maybe to satisfy the desire I can read on him, I cup his cheek with one hand and my pulse relaxes when, not only does he not pull away, but leans into my touch. He closes his eyes and sighs and when they open again I see something in them I’m scared to describe. Not that I would know how.
Feeling brave after his acceptance, I cup his other cheek and seeping in between his legs, I lean in to kiss him. I do it like I’ve never done it before; with a softness I didn’t know I had for him, letting the shape of his lips tattoo mine. There’s no tongue, no bites, no wetness. Just a kiss, a simple kiss, yet deep but calm and reciprocated. It’s the first time we kiss like this and even though it’s literally the most superficial kiss we’ve shared for it stays on the lips, somehow it flaps around the pit of my stomach and speeds up my heartbeat.
When we pull apart, I don’t know what to do with myself so I just stare at him not knowing what that was and I don’t know whether I am curious or embarrassed sut I try to read him. Maybe if I find out what he’s feeling I can understand what I’m feeling too.
“I don’t deserve you.”
I frown. Why would he ever say something like that? I told him nasty things last night, and even though I don’t think my opinion is that important, for all I know that must be the reason he’s staying up. I don’t tell him nice things, I don’t think that’s what he needs from me right now and instead I straddle him and press my lips against his again.
The mood has completely change again. This kiss is hungry and desperate and we both are gasping and fighting for air as his hands squeeze the back of my thighs. His tongue pushes inside my mouth but this time I don’t let him have control. I bite his bottom lip hard as a way of letting him know and he moans on my mouth. I don’t know why I want to bite him but I just can’t get enough of him.
“Baby, you’re gonna make me bleed.” He groans against my mouth.
He’s right, if I don’t stop now I just might so I pull away from his mouth and unfold a spate of gentle kisses along his jawline and down his neck. I lick a stripe of his tight, soft skin from the crook of his neck to the spot below his ear as if I could take his concerns away with my mouth and feel him gasping over me. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I’ve never wanted someone like this before but it’s like I need to be closer to him, to have him in any way I can and I can never get enough.
His hands caress my body under my sweater with a gentle touch but I know he’s going to let me be in control now. I take this opportunity to get drunk on him and to learn his body like he seems to know mine. My hands caress his bare thighs behind my own as I keep kissing every inch of his skin on his neck and upper chest. I love how hot he is and how I can feel his muscles with my lips.
I kiss every freckle and lick the ink of his tattoos and feel myself getting wetter just by watching the soft hair on his chest. He’s so sexy it’s ridiculous. I want to touch myself so badly, my lips clench out of their own accord as I just drink him in but he’s so perfect and so warm and he’s here in all his glory just for me.
I get off from his lap and his green eyes shoot me a hint of panic but his lips part and his breathing gets worked up when I sit on my knees between his legs. I want to suck him off so much and it surprises me that the idea of having a dick in my mouth can be so enticing. I don’t know why I’m feeling like this but I’ve never been more turned on in my life and it doesn’t really make much sense to me because objectively, what do I get from sucking him off?
He's so quiet and I can’t read the way he’s looking at me. If I didn’t know any better I’d think he’s scared of me but when my eyes look down at his crotch, my breath catches in my throat when I see how hard he is for me. I lick my lips, my mouth is getting dry.
I bring my hand to his harden length and am surprised at my own confidence as I start pampering him through his boxers while my trail of kisses guide my hungry mouth to his arousal. I look up into his eyes as my fingers tangle with the hem of his boxers on either side of his hips, silently asking for his permission to put them down and I love the way he looks with lips parted and eyes wide opened as he lifts his hips for me to undress him.
My eyes still widen at his perfect erection. It’s everything I think about when I think about sex. Healthy and hard and wet and blood red. I wrap my hand around the base of his manhood and kiss his skin before I lick my way to the top. I look up at him and am gratified with a imagine of Harry biting his bottom lip, his chest wildly inflating and deflating every time he takes a breath.
I caress his length with a warm hand a few times before really holding him from the base and licking him like a kitten would lick an ice cream. I keep the eye contact and almost laugh when I remember what Olivia guessed about me. This is turning me on more than it should, I’m sure.
I wrap my mouth around his length and every time I bow my head I get him deeper and deeper, moisturising him with my hot saliva until I fill my throat with his tight, hot, throbbing length. Watching him I understand the thrill he gets every time he does this for me. It’s delightful to see the other person’s reaction.
Harry’s gasps, moans and grunts seduce and claim me as he fills my mouth. My sole purpose is keeping his sex as moisturise as possible as my hand massages the soft pearls crowning the baseline. I relax my jaw and try to keep my teeth to myself as he slips inside my mouth once and again, in and out, forth and back. My bowing is aided with his gentle thrusts but his intrusion only arouses me even more. His hand reaches out for my head and he whispers something I miss. I’m completely consumed by the way he sounds inside me.
He pulls from my hair and I supress my moans until I can’t hold them in anymore and let out a long throaty moan over him. He growls and curses and his fingers, tangled in my hair, slow my bows down.
“Go slower, baby.” He pleads. “I’m gonna cum otherwise.”
Isn’t that what this is all about? With a popping sound, I get him out of my mouth and admire how shinny he is with my own saliva covering his slick skin. It surprises me that it doesn’t look disgusting to me. Moreover, the thought of him, this wet, stretching my tight walls is driving me crazy. I suck his balls into my mouth as I pump him.
“Shit.”
I can tell he’s holding back again. I want to confront him about that because I don’t like when he holds back with me. He’s had me hard before and only picturing him fucking my mouth without any inhibitions, holding my head as he intrudes my throat in and out, brutally, choking me has me dripping down my thighs.
I start devouring him faster, sucking him inside my mouth and letting my tongue lick his precum as he grunts and pulls from my hair. A thought flashes through my mind, I want to see him and so I look up at him from behind my eyelashes and I see his jaw clenching and he frowns.
“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum.”
I only suck him harder, bobbing my head frantically as I help my mouth with my hand in the part I can’t get inside and within seconds I feel hot, creamy spurts of his cum hitting my throat. I swallow it instantly for it shot deep enough for me not to have a choice and I feel my pulse down my lower lips as I lick my own lips and sit on my bottom, watching his chest go up and down in a frenzy whilst he calms down.
I’m out of breath too and my walls are tighter than ever because I can’t seem to relax them and I feel like I have my own fluids all over my inner thighs. I don’t know in what perverted way I’m looking at him but the way his eyes twinkle tells me he knows.
Very calmly and without saying a word, as if I had not just sucked him off, he offers me his hand and pulls me up from the floor and then he stands up from his chair so that he’s taller than me again.
I look up into the green of his eyes and he just stares at me for the longest time and there’s not a trace of a smile on his face but somehow he doesn’t seem serious either. I don’t know how to explain it. He seems… Intense, I guess that’s the only thing I can tell. His eyes never leave mine as he pulls from the hem of my pyjama pants with one hand and the other sticks to my belly, snaking down underneath my underwear until he touches the place I want him the most. He lets out a nervous giggle when he finds out how wet I am but I am so turned on I don’t even have it in me to feel embarrassed. He chooses not to torture me as he presses three fingers against my clit and starts fondling me with just the right pressure and my eyes roll to the back of my head as I moan out loud for him.
It's like the intense, serious Harry that let me have him in my mouth just minutes ago is suddenly gone and I can’t say I miss him when this cheerful, careless Harry is smiling at me. My hips start lifting from the table he pushed me at and they find his hand on their own accord, amusing him.
I gape and try to hold his gaze fighting my own eyelids and when I’m afraid my legs are going to fail me and I’m going to fall, I cling onto his bare shoulders with my hands and he rests his forehead on mine. Intense Harry is back. Our breaths mix together between our parted lips and as much as I want to see him my eyelids cover my eyes and I don’t fight them, feeling him is enough. When two of his fingers slid inside me while his thumb still massages my clit, it takes him less than a minute to have me arching my back and screaming.
His hand stays pressed against my dripping core as he kisses my opened mouth trying to give back some of the calm he took from me and he holds my low back with his other hand pressing my body to his. He tenderly bites down my plump bottom lip and pulls from it until it slips from his white teeth.
I think something just disappeared. I feel like he saw me naked for the first time and I’m still wearing all my clothes.
I pull away from him. Not in a rush way or even in a bad one, but I’m overwhelmed. I close the bathroom door behind me and rest my open hands on the marble sink and stare at myself in the mirror. It’s happening again. I need to lie down and put an order to my running thoughts but right now all I can do is cry.
It surprises me that he gives me this minute to myself so quietly and when I open the door, after having washed my face and remove my dripping underwear, I find him still sitting down on the chair I found him at first but now he’s got his sweater on. I open a drawer and get fresh undies on before I go look for him.
“Come here.” I tell him.
He sighs and gives me a look as if saying a blowjob is still not diazepam. He opens his mouth to protest but I don’t let him.
“Come on” I insist “let me help you.”
“Are you going to tire me out with sex?” He smiles.
“No, you idiot.”
He shrugs feigning disappointment before he follows me inside my room and watches me as I get under the blankets holding them up for him.
“Lie down on your stomach.”
He stands very still, cautiously watching me as if I was some sort of dangerous animal, but after some hesitation he chooses to trust me and does what he’s told. He’s watching me as I lean over his body and pull the cover up his bottom before I slip my hand under his sweater and start drawing figures with my nails on his back.
I don’t know if this will relax him as much as it relaxes me but this never fails to calm me down and get me sleepy. I think everybody likes these fingertip caresses. He can’t be that different to the rest of us. Plus, he’s wasted, he’ll fall asleep sooner or later.
After a couple of minutes, he suddenly sits up and it saddens me that he put up with my pampering for so little time but I try to supress my smile when I realize he’s just taking off his sweater so I have better access to his skin. I don’t want him to think I’m only doing this for him, I like touching him just as much as he likes to be touched, not just on the place that makes him a man.
He doesn’t take his eyes off him and he’s the most serious he’s been all night. I want to ask him what’s troubling him but I just cried myself a few minutes ago, who am I to judge him? I feel his muscles relax under my fingers and it’s so nice to caress him like this, he’s so soft it’s pleasurable to touch.
I take this moment of silence to try and unravel my own messy thoughts. I feel terrible for doing this to Dylan and I am scared shitless for doing this to myself but the truth is I care about Harry more than I dare to admit. I don’t want him to be sad or worried, not because that makes things bad for myself but because I just don’t want him to suffer.
He's so quiet and still I have to look up at him to check whether he’s asleep but his eyes are opened and still studying me.
“What’s on your mind?” I whisper.
“Nothing nice.”
I frown, but this time it’s not out of anger but out of concern. I guess he could have asked me the same thing and the answer would have been the same.
“Is it because of something I said to you?”
He doesn’t answer but that’s all the answer I need. It surprises me that my opinion can give him such a headache. I didn’t know whatever I could think about him was so important to him. He didn’t strike me like the kind of person who would care about what the rest of people thought of him what with all the times he’s tried to convinced me that I shouldn’t care about what people thought about us, and how naturally he just says whatever is on his mind and all that.
“Listen, Harry, I was mad and I’m such a bitch, you gotta know this. When I’m mad I say these things I don’t even mean just because-”
“It’s not about what you said before dinner.”
That surprises me.
“Then what is it?”
“Do you remember when I told you to stop beating yourself?”
I remember that night perfectly fine. That was the night he had his anxiety thing and I went home with him. That was also the night this whole thing really started.
“And every time I’ve told you to just let go and enjoy life?”
I nod. I also remember when he told me there was not enough Indie on my heart and how many times he’s pointed at the lack of life in me, knowingly or not. I swallow.
“Well that’s something that happens to me too and a lot more often than you think.” He smiles as if he knew perfectly fine what I thought of him and also how wrong I am. “I don’t know if you remember but before you fell asleep you started reciting these Roy McBride’s lines and it just got me thinking about a lot of things.”
I instantly blush. That I recited what? Nobody even knows how I secretly feel about Roy McBride and how identified I felt with some of the things he said during the movie. Oh, God, I hope I didn’t tell him that.
“About what things?”
Our voices are low even if no one can hear us.
“My life.” He starts as if I should have known better. “My thesis really did open so many doors for me but then I kind of just started working like that was all that mattered because somehow it was.” He pauses and his green eyes give me a look I don’t understand. “I got myself crazy busy with work so that I didn’t have to think about how… I had nothing else to… Worry about.”
I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before but I don’t like it. It’s like someone punched me on the stomach and I want to cry and tell him he never can say those words again but he’s opening up to me and I bet telling me this is not easy on him so I won’t shush him and make him feel as if his feelings are wrong. Yet this is breaking my heart.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and I love actually knowing who my patients are and hearing them out and giving them the time they deserve but… Sometimes I do worry that’s not enough and when you said all that shit to me about relying on those closest to you and sharing their burdens and letting them share yours and living and loving I just… I don’t know how long it’s been since I don’t do that.”
My fingers stop their movement on his back. I’ve been so unfair to him. I had no idea he had all these cloudy thoughts on his mind and that the reason he couldn’t sleep was because at night he sets them free like a snake. That has me thinking. Does he have a burden too? Is he afraid of sharing that too? Does he feel as lonely as I do?
I don’t know exactly from where I’m getting the strength is taking me to stay out of this and focus on him. I guess I’ve become so good at tiptoeing over my own feelings without getting in that I don’t even have to think about it so as to do it. It just comes natural to me.
“Have you never had like a turning point in your life? Where you had to reconsider what you were doing and if it was what you wanted or not?”
I watch my own fingers dancing over his back and nothing happens I don’t know how long for. Nobody says anything and nobody moves so I wonder if he even heard me but when I look up at his eyes, I feel like my throat is going to close and I’ll choke on my own woe. Crystal tears blurry his eyes and I want nothing more but for them to never spill out. It’s affecting me enormously to see him like this but it’s just too vulnerable, too close, and I can’t do nothing to take that away from him. I have no idea what my words have brought to his mind but he’s just passing it all on me. I hate that my own eyes fill with tears. God, this is not about me.
I don’t know what to do so I just wrap my arms around his shoulders and press him against my chest and he hugs me too. If he had done this to me, if he had made me talk until I ended up bursting my own protection bubble and crying, I would never forgive him so all of a sudden I feel so terribly guilty I want to scratch my own face until I bleed.
“I’m so sorry, Harry” I whisper on his ear as I hug him tight “Forget it, forget what I said and sleep, love.”
He slowly pulls away from me so he can rest his head on his pillow and closes his eyes and thank God the tears don’t roll down his cheeks, but I can see them on the inner corner of his eye next to his nose.
My fingers continue their voyage across his skin and I’d pay to have that frown removed from his beautiful face. I comb his hair out of his forehead praying to God he won’t pull away from me. To my relief, he doesn’t react to my touch and lets me pulls his hair away from his troubled face. We don’t normally do this, this cuddling in a non-sexual way, but I guess we don’t normally cry to each other either.
I let my head fall on my own arm and keep caressing his back until I fall asleep. I hope he falls asleep too.
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find-felicity · 3 years
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Yet another part of my deh fic
I thought I would never finish this fic but I just wrote a scene for the third time and... I'm seriously considering actually doing it. Maybe on ao3 or wattpad. Would anyone be interested? If so please tell me which one would you prefer.
Here are the other two scenes:
https://find-felicity.tumblr.com/post/641319228376547328/another-part-of-my-deh-fic
https://find-felicity.tumblr.com/post/640961612463915008/a-sneek-peek-of-the-deh-fic-ill-probably-never
About the story: in this au after Connor’s suicide attempt he falls into a coma, but he is also seen as a ghost by Evan (actually, only by Evan). Things happen pretty much the same as they do in the musical. This scene takes place after Connor storms out of the computer lab
DISCLAIMER: attempt of suicide
To sleep for days, weeks even
Connor felt exhausted even though he's been lying on his bed for the past 3 hours. His stomach growled which reminded him that he hasn't eaten anything since breakfast and even that was basically cut in half by the argument he had with his mother.
So, like some toast maybe? Or some milk... I can't even remember.
Thinking about food only made him feel worse, so he slowly got up and headed to the kitchen. His knees shaked comstantly, and he could loose his balance any minute. He had to firmly grab the handrail while going down the stairs and still managed to stumble down the last few steps.
Luckily noone was home. Zoey and Cynthia went shopping together and Larry was working late as usual. The house was really quiet. Uncomfortably quiet.
Connor's arm felt week as he opened the fridge. The first thing he saw was the leftovers from last night neatly packed in new tupperware. One of the containers even had his name on the lid. It was spaghetti which he quite liked, although since Cynthia experimented with keto noodles it was harder to enjoy.
He almost smiled thinking about his mother's spaghetti. Same recipe since he could remember but some ingredients always substituted according to Cynthia's newest ideas about a healthy lifestyle.
Like it's going to make any difference in this house. That's almost pathetic.
Suddenly he could clearly remember why he didn't eat dinner last night.
Pathetic. That's what his father said when he told his parents he's thinking about skipping a year before going to collage. Originally, his reason was to gather some ideas and finally figure out what he's going to do with his life, but...
Larry did not care for that. He could only talk about how he wouldn't give him any money if all he wants to do is spend it then do nothing all day.
Connor couldn't even argue with him. He was too mentally drained to even listen to his lecture or his mother's whining about him wasting his opportunities. He just got up, went to his room and stared at the ceiling while listening to some music. Couldn't really help with feeling any better.
Later Zoey came upstairs too and gently knocked on his door.
"Hey, if you... "
"Leave me the fuck alone! " he shouted almost immidiately.
"I just wanted to say" he could hear the sudden change in her voice as she shouted back at the closed door "that you should probably eat something! But fine, starve to death then! "
That is more and more likely to happen each day. Connor thought as he closed the fridge.
His hunger turned into something more like nausea. There were tons of fruit, yogurt and whatever else his mother could think of while grocery shopping but it was already too late. He filled a cup with water and went back to his room. It was still more than nothing.
He placed the glass on his nightstand and laid down again. The ceiling seemed to slowly rotate above him. His eyelids were heavy and his head felt like it could shatter into a million pieces any minute.
Who could say no to another depression nap?
But somehow he couldn't fall asleep. His thoughts kept wandering back to what his father has said to him.
"All you do is sitting in your room! What do you need time for? To figure out your newest addiction? "
How would he even know about the things I do? Of course Larry's always preoccupied with his very important duties as the head of the house. Almost as busy as his lovely wife!
Connor turned over a little too fast and knocked a pillow on the floor.
Fuck both of them.
He bent down to pick it back up but something under his bed caught his eye. He climbed down and pulled out an empty peanutbutter jar. Well, almost empty. Something was ratteling inside and as he wiped some dust off the lid he could clearly remember what it was.
A few months ago his mother was prescribed sleeping pills. He could even remember the proper name: diazepam. It was a serious drug so at first she refused to actually take any. But as time went by she slowly gave in and the pills disappeared from the little orange prescription bottle.
What a familiar feeling. Connor thought with a bitter smile. That's almost ironic.
Cynthia didn't even notice he had taken some of the sleeping tablets. She instatly hid the bottle but it was easier to find than the candy from last halloween. Plus she became forgetful because of the diazepam.
He shaked the bottle so the pills landed in his palm. He grabbed the glass of water and started swirling the liquid around.
I could sleep for days.
Larry may have guessed that Connor had taken some of the sleeping pills but he certainly couldn't find the jar. Instead he found some weed so they had a huge fight as usual.
Maybe he needs some diazepam too. Fuck, diazepam for the whole family!
Connor felt a sudden rush of anger. With one quick move he shoved all the pills in his mouth and swallowed them with a few big gulps of water. He almost choked but managed to get them down.
Seconds, minutes or maybe hours have passed he couldn't tell. His arms and legs started to shake and he dropped the glass he was clutching in his hand. It shattered into a million pieces as Connor's vision started to blur.
It's really happening. I can't believe it.
He collapsed as the front door opened downstairs. He could barely hear their voices.
"Hi, honey! We're back! I bought you a nice new shirt. It's not black but I hope you'll... Connor? "
"He's not even home. "
"He is. His bag is right here. "
There were a few seconds of silence as Connor's room turned into a dark abiss. He could hear his mother coming upstairs and calling his name but her voice was muffled and more and more desperate.
"Connor? Did you lock your door again? Connor?"
Then he couldn't make out the words anymore. With one big sigh everything disappeared as if someone has blown out a candle. Something was pulling him down and Connor was more than ready to give in.
Finally. I could sleep for weeks.
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rye-views · 4 years
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The Invisible Man (2020) dir. Leigh Whannell. 7.4/10
We are fucking remaking Hollow Man, but with more crazy.
I got a similar amount of adrenaline watching this as I did the Shallows.
Imagine the injustice done to this girl. Crazy. This is why when you start talking about things that sound crazy, you can’t sound crazy. No one will listen to you and if they listened, they might believe.
Spoiler: [About Cecilia being trapped in the life and home of her rich husband, Adrian. She escapes one night after drugging him with Diazepam and running to the woods to be picked up by her sister, Emily. She drops the Diazepam and Adrian catches up to her, but they escape. Cecilia goes to live with a friend, James and his daughter, Sydney. She is afraid to exit the home because of how she lived and James helps rehabilitate her. She expects to see Adrian everywhere. Later, Emily comes and reassures her by showing an article that Adrian had committed suicide and is now dead. A lot of money ends up going to Cecilia, who sets up a bank account to allow Sydney to go to college. The proceedings are done by Adrian’s brother, Tom, a lawyer. Cecilia ends up experiencing strange things after. She feels a presence in her home and knows someone is standing on top of her blanket. She claims to James that Adrian is alive and is invisible. He consoles her, but doesn’t want Adrian plaguing her even after his death. She goes to a job interview for architecture and finds her portfolio missing. She then faints. The doctor says she had a high dosage of Diazepam in her system and she notices a bloody bottle of Diazepam nearby. It was the one she had dropped. Cecilia tries to convince everyone that Adrian was in an industry where it’s possible to come up with something to make you invisible, but nobody believes her. She goes to Emily, who shuts her down because of an email that was sent from Cecilia about hating her and whatnot. She claims she didn’t send the email either. Sydney comforts her, but is brutely hit and believes Cecilia did it since she’s the only one in the room. James gets Sydney out and leaves Cecilia in the home. Cecilia calls Adrian and hears his phone in the attic. She goes up and sees his phone, a knife in a bag, her portfolio, and then she gets a text message from an unknown number saying Surprise. She hears a figure somewhere and throws paint on it and see a figure. He washes it off and they fight and struggle. She manages to escape and heads to his house. She finds a suit that can turn invisible. She then hears him enter and she goes and hides. She manages to escape again. She desperately requests to meet Emily in a public place and she accepts. Cecilia reveals everything and all of a sudden a knife slits Emily’s throat and is put into the hand of Cecilia. She is then arrested and held at a mental hospital. She learns that she is pregnant even though she has been taking birth control pills when she was with Adrian because she refused to be tied down to him through a child. Tom comes and tells her that since a crime has been committed, according to the will, she can no longer receive funds. He says she can return to her life with Adrian if she has the baby though and all the charges will be dropped. This reveals that he knows about everything. He also mentions the birth control was switched. She steals a pen from him and goes back to her room. She starts committing suicide by stabbing her wrists and the figure stops her. She starts attacking it. A guard comes in and stops her from being wily and gets attacked by an invisible figure. The guard ends up killed. Cecilia escapes her room and a stream of guards come in and are all killed by the invisible figure. She ends up looking for him outside of the hospital in the rain and one guard survives and witnesses it all. Cecilia had shot the suit a bit and it flickers on and off. She sees the figure drive off in a car and she pursues after taking someone’s car. She calls James and tells him to head home to protect Sydney. Sydney is sleeping and hears someone around. She uses her mace and sprays it into the air and a figure crashes about. She screams and James shows up after rushing home from work. He fights with an invisible figure and is beat badly. Cecilia ends up shooting the body many times until it dies. It is revealed to be Tom. Adrian is later revealed to have been locked up in a basement by his brother. She goes to have dinner with Adrian at his home to get him to
admit that he did all this and got away with it by framing his brother. James is out listening to the conversation secretly while a camera is recording it all. He doesn’t own up to anything. She starts crying and goes to clean herself up. She wears the suit and has him look like he killed himself and he ends up dying. She then reacts with her normal clothes to his death and calls the cops. She leaves and James knows what happened and agrees to it.]
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