#*genuinely kicks me into a spiral of self-loathing which is remarkably new for me

[dykeredhood]

It’s so fun* squaring with the fact that I don’t enjoy how I actually physically look, even though I have a robust and glittering personality

#*genuinely kicks me into a spiral of self-loathing which is remarkably new for me #god fucking knows I’m aware that looks aren’t everything #even when I was slimmer/had long hair/etc. i don’t think anyone ever really let something slide for me being ‘pretty’ #so yes I’ve relied on my glib and witty personality and beautiful speaking voice for most things #the most recent instance where someone commented on the timbre of my voice was during a phone call I made at work #i was speaking with a rep from another lender to ask for loan payoff information #and he asked if I’d ever been in show biz because I have a nice flow to the way I speak #at that point I had to tell him: yes I technically have done exactly that/performed on stage… but as a ballerina #and ballet dancers don’t actually talk LOL #believe me this is not the first time others have commented on my lovely voice #I’ve had randos ask if I have a background in radio broadcasting #personal #rant in tags