#(what am i even saying i always send my stuff in its rawest form? anyway i will shut up now)

[transromanticism]

alright so shawngus + the lyrics “you wrote 100 letters just for me/ and i find them in my closet in the pockets of my jeans/ now i'm constantly reminded of the time i was 19/ every single one's forgotten in a laundromat machine”

(like this is gus 5ish years after shawn left after graduation without saying anything. gus went a couple of months without hearing from him and then shawn started sending letters/postcards and he never really explained himself but just acted like everything was normal (ok maybe he apologised a bit). and gus never responded to any of them bc he was mad (going off the same theme as my other ask), and then these vibes).

okay so LMAO i was planning on writing a proper fic out of this (still might tbh who knows i sure don't) but since it has taken so long already and i feel bad for letting this ask in my inbox, here's an outline? i guess? went kinda jackwild with it but stuck to the lyrics at least so hope you like it :P

after graduation shawn just up and left. gus is left a little too shaken up, but after some days he notices how the signs were there, shawn always talking about leaving, learning other stuff, etc etc. he thinks it was kind of inevitable, you can't really stop shawn spencer, can you? doesn't mean he's not angry.

only thing gus has wrt shawn's status is whatever he talked about prior to leaving, and the little note he left at the Spencers' fridge (it said like, left and not coming back anytime soon, will keep in touch, tell gus i'm sorry). gus has no idea what shawn means by keeping in touch, but after a couple months, his parents call him about a letter from shawn addressed to gus and if they should send it to him.

it becomes a monthly? bi-weekly? thing, then: shawn sends a letter to the gusters' house in santa barbara, and they send it to gus at college. when gus goes back to sb, he either goes to his parents' house to pick up the letter, or they send it to his house.

the subject of the letter range from updates on shawn's life to miscellaneous ramblings. the first letter was an explanation and apology to gus, the awkwardness palpable in the words. the following letters still had this feeling of i wanna keep in touch, but i'm not sure i should. shawn always ended the letters with some questions on how gus was doing, first in hope he would answer, and later on just more out of routine. he would never get angry at gus for not responding, knows too well gus has every right to still be mad at him. shawn got worried gus wouldn't like his letters, especially after he inicially never got a reply, but, yknow, he never got a reply, nothing saying him to stop, and he would rather bother gus with his business then to hurt gus even more.

so! this keeps going on for the 10 years shawn's away, until he comes back (the last letter he sent said he was coming back, so it's not such a surprise to gus when he arrives at his doorstep a little out of breath bc he had to ask the gusters where gus was currently at). they don't really mention the letter, tbh. like, after some days, shawn asks gus if he ever got his letters, and when gus answers yes, shawn asks if he read then, to which gus days yes, and after a beat he days thank you and doesn't really elaborate, and shawn's not sure he has the right to pry, so he just smiles at gus and leaves the subject.

UNTIL when gus's moving, he calls shawn to help him pack and stuff (completely forgot how moving works lmao sorry), and while shawn's rummaging through gus's closet, he finds this box? chest? idk in the back of the closet, behind all this stuff, with some dust over it, all worn out at the sides, with a note on its top that reads shawn's letters. the box is clearly old, and probably needs some taken care of, but it's a sentimental thing, yknow? you don't keep something like that for so long if it doesn't hold some sentimental value to you. 

shawn doesn't open it outright, he's not a jerk, but he does hold it and just sits in the middle of the bedroom, not really sure what to do. he stays like that for so long gus starts to worry, calling for shawn until he finds him there, still a little in shock.

"those are my letter," gus nods, "the ones i sent you while i was away, those letter."

"yes, shawn, those letter."

"you kept them." shawn's starting to get teary eyed now, but he doesn't want to wet the box, god knows what salt water will do to it.

"you expected me to throw away my best friend's letters?"

"i don't know what i expected, to be honest."

it's been, what? some few years since shawn came back? anyway, their dynamic came back to what it used to be, and the feelings they had for each other just grew strong (they never went away, is the thing, it just wasn't very apparent when they weren't together all the time). yet, it's kinda awkward. new territory and stuff, yknow? they stare at each other for a while, like a while while, until gus just sits down besides shawn (who has not stopped crying btw, but is trying his hardest to not wet the box), picks the box off his hands and sets it aside, and then, very very softly, just cups shawn's face, not really cleaning his tears.

"shawn," and is gus also crying? look, goddamn sue him, it's all very emotional, "thank you" and he kisses him. not a hungry kiss, though it feels like something they both have been starving for, or a rushed kiss, because they have all the time in the world. it's soft, sweet, but reassuring, certain, this is what i want, thank you, thank you, thank you.

#asks.txt #a: fruitygus #psych #psy: a friendship for the ages #*m: au #*m: psych #HEY long time no see right lmao sorry for taking so long totally my bad #anyway i'm going through my inbox so expect some answers in the next few days <3 #also it's late and i don't feel like going through this so have it in its rawest form #(what am i even saying i always send my stuff in its rawest form? anyway i will shut up now)