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carriagelamp · 2 years

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I haven't done one of these in ages... mostly because I've been kept way too busy to read much or even think about compiling what I did get around to reading orz But I have had a chance to read at least a few fun things this year so far and decided to round up some of my favourites!

Asterix and the Griffin

I finally read the newest Asterix comic. My main takeaway: it wasn't one of my favourite Asterix stories, but none of the new ones have been, but I do think it's one of the best by this new team so far. The finale was beautiful! Also, I hate Papercutz and would fistfight them in an alley.

The Complete Brambly Hedge

I read this back in January and it was so soft and sweet. I love these sorts of children stories, and the art was stunning. Honestly, I kind of feel like I need to buy this one. Any story about tiny little guys living in a big world is a set up for me to fall in love, and this one came complete with cute little mouse house cutaway diagrams!

Carry On

I was super skeptical about this one to start with, the Harry Potter satire just felt... way to heavy-handed, but when it finally clicked... boy did it ever click. I think this ended up being my favourite book that I've read this year so far, I am completely smitten with Simon and Baz, they were excellent protagonists and the audiobook I listened to did excellent work.

Critical Role: The Mighty Nein Origins: Caleb Widogast

I listened to a few episodes of Critical Role and enjoyed it, but never managed to stick with it, instead I mostly absorbed this series through dashboard osmosis. Still, I knew enough that reading the comic was a real treat. The art was beautiful, and poor Caleb really had a rough go...

Failed Princesses v5

The latest volume of Failed Princesses. Me and my brother are hooked, though as he put it you could cut the drama with a knife. In a good way. Bless these useless lesbians.

Heartstopper v1-3

I started watching the Netflix show, so obviously I had to go back and reread the first three books! And finally get my shit together and order the fourth in... Continues to just be cute as anything. Would recommend both the graphic novels and the show, they're both acting as a balm for my soul.

Kiki's Delivery Service

Did you know the Ghibli film was based off a children's novel?? Because I sure didn't! I bought this on a whim when I saw it in the local bookshop, and it's adorable. It fits that common 20th century kidlit genre where you have a main character going through little mini adventures/experiences in each chapter. The first book is almost a one to one with the movie, though it diverges at the end. Still, for a kid's novel, it was a delightful, quick little read.

Modelland

This is an actual nightmare that me and my girlfriend were reading outloud to each other for a few months. We finished it in January, but at what cost. I have never read anything so absolutely off the wall fucking weird. I have no idea what Tyra Banks was thinking and I'm not convinced she knew either. Way more fun than it should have been, it was captivating in the same way as a car crash.

Mr Popper's Penguins

A classic kidlit novel I had always meant to read and just had never gotten around to. Finally knocked it out in a day, and found it very charming. I can see why it's stuck around in our collective conscious.

The Outbursts of Everett True

I had seen comics of this floating around on tumblr for a while and finally decided to pick up a copy and read it. Despite how old the comics are, it really does tap into a timeless secret desire to just kick the shit out of people who mildly inconvenience us. Is it serious, or take itself seriously? Absolutely not. Have all the jokes aged well? HECK NO! But there was enough that felt VERY relatable and satisfying that I definitely though it was a worthwhile read!

The Purple Smurfs (and two other stories)

I had never read any actual Smurf comics, which feels odd given how big it was a few decades back. It was an enjoyable comic with very pretty art, though it reinforces, once again, my desire to feed Papercutz to rapid ladybugs. Why are they the only game in town for Smurfs comics?? These are classics, I'd thought they'd be everywhere!

Spiderwick v1-3

I've been working my way through the Spiderwick books this week, since I hadn't read them since I was a kid. They really are superbly written little novels. They never try to tackle too much in one book, and ensure what they do is imaginative, slightly horrifying, and accompanied by the most gorgeous art you can imagine. I'll never forgive the movie they'd attempted, because this series was a work of art.

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curlytemple · 4 years

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alrighty @scottspack here i am to show my ass

top 10 ships tag! these aren’t “in order” but #1 is #1

1. cory and topanga! (boy meets world) my very first thought when given this prompt, theyre the blueprint! they are just BABIEs when they meet and they already Know each other. i will not pretend that topanga didnt shape me into the kind of girl who wouldnt change one thing about herself for a boy, keep your legs hairy and your convictions strong! the way they grow together is enough to make me hate god for not giving ME a cory matthews. high school ski trip infidelity aside, theyre the first couple that made me think i could find a man. i was wrong but its nice to think about.

2. kim possible and ron stoppable... the way the entire series is about kim being a wildly competent type A cheerleader AND teenage vigilante super spy and ron is her chilled out lame best friend who is Always there to help her save the day... please take a moment to listen to the jesse mccartney song why don’t you kiss her? that plays during the romantic climax of the kim possible movie, perfectly capturing the intense fear that comes with thinking about maybe finally kissing your best friend from preschool at your junior prom.

3. tami and coach eric taylor (friday night lights) ...come on, y’all!!!! genuinely the most real relationship i have ever seen on screen. i don’t even know what to say other than that they are REAL. coach and tami are such a good couple that it doesn’t make any sense to me that their kid would have such a massive stick up her ass. i even tried an ‘empathize with julie’ rewatch, and while a lot of her teen angst is understandable and even relatable, she still seems so disconnected from her parents/dillon at the end of the show in a very unsatisfying way! coach and tami are the heart of fnl. and tim riggins.

4. belly conklin and conrad fisher (the summer i turned pretty trilogy by jenny han) bro.... when your mother’s dying wish is for you to care for your little brother, so when he has a little crush on the girl you are In Love With you bury your feelings and go to college far away because nothing is more important than their happiness, and they could be happy together! and years go by and theyre going to get married and youre set on being Happy For Them until you find out how much your brother has actually done to break her heart and her trust and then the thought of her settling for him is even more devastating than your true desire for her to settle for you.... WHEW! when you’ve been busy coming of age and trying to make it work with your best friend that isnt really right for you and then you find out his brother who you’ve been in love with your whole life turned into a distant asshole because the most important person in yalls lives taught him to be selfless and he over-corrected in his grief... BOY!! this one makes me feel like my heart is in my stomach.

5. SENSE8! can i just say all of it? everything and everyone? if you are bisexual and havent watched sense8 yet, this one is for us, baby! the ship is an interconnected web of LOVE AND TRUST. the pairings are endless. if i HAD to choose my fav, wolfgang and kala (and rajan <3) and i cant explain why i would pick them over anyone else, thats just what my pussy told me. but frankly i shouldnt have to choose, THEY ALL SHARE ONE CONSCIOUSNESS! ONE LOVE!

6. david and patrick (schitt’s creek) you know the way we all feel like we aren’t enough and we’re Way Too Much.. dan levy really said hey guys? no offense but i think we might be capable of loving and even maybe Being Loved. the way patrick is all in on david rose from the moment he meets him, before he can even consider what that means about himself... the way they push each other out of their comfort zones and only get more comfortable with themselves and each other.. the way david’s abstract monochrome wardrobe fills with HEARTS AND RAINBOWS !!!!!! again, where’s my man? ANYWAYS,

7. todd and rory (straight up) anna said this post is for romantic ships only and so I CAN AND WILL INCLUDE THEM. i don’t want to give any spoilers because i dont think tumblr has seen this yet, but when i say this is THE romcom of the year, perhaps of my life, trust!! todd is a gay man with a sex aversion who decides to try to date women and rory is the brilliant woman he actually falls in love with. sometimes soulmates dont fuck!!! maybe there are no rules to a good relationship besides mutual respect, understanding, and the undeniable desire to Be Together. i rest my case!

8. drew barrymore and adam sandler is this valid? again i dont know or care. i grew up on adam sandler movies and drew barrymore makes him better every time. they’ve only done 3 movies together, one of which i have not and will not see (2014 is just too cursed to return to) but even tho these two have never been a couple in real life their chemistry is so palpable that they consider each other the person they will grow old with on screen. if that’s not hollywood romance, i dont know what is! sorry to timothy olyphant but even drew says adam is The One.

9. stef and lena adams-foster (the fosters) MOM AND MOMMA! listen, abc family shows are insane, but stef and lena make the drama worthwhile. their house full of teens is not perfect or easy, but never have i ever seen lesbian moms at the center of any media, let alone ones who thrive like they do when they communicate, support each other, and lead with love. this is a couple who chooses each other and their babies over and over again. its about putting in the work, having the tough conversations, and making the hard decisions because you care!!!!!

10. I DONT KNOW HOW TO END THIS, I LOVE LOVE! michael and alex! marshall and lily! steve and nancy AND jonathan! lizzie mcguire and gordo! rachel and griffin mcelroy! nick and jess! schmidt and cece! fleabag and the priest! amy pond and rory! river song and the doctor! ROSE and the doctor! MY MOM AND DAD!!!! mickey and ian! han and leia! johnny and gheorghe! princess bubblegum and marceline the vampire queen! jackie and kelso! jackie and HYDE! donna and eric! kitty and red! richie and eddie! jake and amy! brittany and santana! tim and tyra! JACK AND ENNIS! dj and steve! uncle jesse and aunt becky! aziraphale and crowley! bob and linda belcher! LARRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#will i ever be comfortable posting my thots and onions? maybe not #but here they are!#liv when i read [explanation redacted] i have never felt so close to you #love to socialize on tumblr dot com !

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stonerbughead · 4 years

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Maria watches friday night lights (#2)

Or: help I watched the full first season in eight days!!!

-I love how they really slowly develop the characters. Like I started out immediately invested in Saracen bc we stan an underdog but I feel like I’ve been pulled more slowly but surely into, say, Tyra’s plotline.

“She’s robbing for love.” “Its compelling stuff, dad.” “It’s a guilty pleasure!” I love Tami and Julie ganging up on Coach Taylor.

-Lesbian mayor, ok! Tami being like ‘bitch deal with it, I’m working with her,’ ok!

“If we don’t change this tire right now by ourselves, we’re doomed” - Tyra to her mom, wow I FELT that

-Gotta say, I’ve really enjoyed Jason’s friend from the rehab center kind of being his like, tour guide into life in a wheelchair. It’s really wholesome.

-re: Jason proposing to Lyla — oh no, Jason Street, do you think you’re Nathan Scott? Bc I’m really thinking Nathan might be the only teen drama dude who could pull off marrying the love of his life in high school. Yikes!

-I was so fucking excited when the black players walked off the field to protest that racist white coach. We stan collective action

-Help I’ve been watching for 6 days and I’m 16 episodes in

-okay I get the hype

-also I sent Jeff’s best friend Jay my first edition of this and am adding his thoughts: “Riggins the goat and the ‘previously on’s are absolutely perfect and put you in a different world. A world of Texas high school drama mayham fun.” Thanks Jay! Love ya pal.

-Omg I truly find Matt and Julie so cute! Such a pure and genuine lil love story.

-Wild that Buddy Garrity was JUST comforting Lyla for the “mistake” she made, then starts an affair with Tyra’s mom like two episodes later. Oops how could I have possibly known this would end badly?! 🤦🏻‍♀️

-wowwww I FEEL Lyla tho in this scene where she’s comforting her siblings as her mom chews her dad out for being a nasty cheater. When we found out my dad had had a three year affair, my younger sister burst into tears and I just started yelling at him. I’m at the beginning of this episode and the angry older sister in me hopes Lyla chews him out at some point; even if I guess it wouldn’t land the same bc Lyla is a cheater too and I am not.

-wow I feel like attitudes towards tattoos have changed a lot over the years since this aired, based on lyla’s very anti-tattoo reaction to jason’s “influence buy,” as he said.

-Waverly shouting out all those poets of color in the diner. Okay gurl go off! Oh shit is she good tho bc now she’s like really goinggggg off is she off her meds or something?

-10 minutes later: yep she’s off meds for her “mood disorder” oh noooo

-WOW OK Lyla destroyed her cheating dads dealership! I see you, that’s a tactic.

-Wow they’re letting Waverly and Lyla hang out aka letting Lyla hang out with another girl at all?? Kinda love it.

-omg poor Tyra!!!!!

-this is truly top ten most dramatic rain moments with the juxtaposition of the semi final on the muddy field and Tyra escaping a sexual assault!!!! Omg Landry showed up as she was picking up her homework I am 😭

-the fact that they legit do a group prayer as a team has my skin crawling just bc I grew up in the most secular nj town lol

-omg Julie and Matt kissing in the mud after the game is swoonworthy

-Jason realizing by helping Matt Saracen that he could be good at coaching? Love that journey for him.

-lmao at Tim riggins saying “how about Saracen sleeping with the coach’s daughter” at the roast to complete silence

-Tami and Eric’s marriage is cute as hell. But fuck yeah to Tami for being like, ‘I like this job and Julie likes this school, we’re not putting that on the line just bc you got a job. We’ll make it work bc our relationship is strong.’

-omfg Grandma Saracen and the Colette ladies singing and dancing while Landry drives them to State is amazing

-Aw and I love Tyra and Layla having it out on the side of the road and Tyra convincing Lyla to take their ride.

-I finished season 1! What an epic season finale! This summed it up:

#maria watches friday night lights #mine #friday night lights 1x13 #friday night lights 1x14 #friday night lights 1x15 #friday night lights 1x16 #friday night lights 1x17 #friday night lights 1x18 #friday night lights 1x19 #friday night lights 1x20 #friday night lights 1x21 #friday night lights 1x22

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charbax · 5 years

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The Long Hunt Behind

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Paladins: Champions Of The Realm (Video Game) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Ash/Tyra (Paladins) Characters: Ash (Paladins), Tyra (Paladins) Additional Tags: viktor is mentioned lol, dense lesbians: the fic, Mutual Pining, fun fact: the gesture in this fic is the ASL for lesbian lmao, every mission becomes a date when ur with ur date lmao, Hunting, First Kiss, Special interest talking, (the special interest is hunting), pre-game, Pre-War, sentinels era, Awkwardness, Feelings Realization Summary:

Over the past year or so, Tyra's crush on Ash has slowly but surely been building up slowly, accumulating to a Magistrate mission of just the two of them to the edge of civilisation. It would be the perfect oppurtunity to profess her love to Ash...if Ash had been picking up the signs. Sadly, it seems that she's only interested in being friends with Tyra, but at least Tyra can spend some time with her long time crush. Although, those feelings were not as unreturned as she assumed.

(Commission for @lumenizampel!)

Click here for AO3 link

word count: 1793

The thing is, Tyra’s used to being the forward one – there’s a small sense of satisfaction when a girl Tyra’s chatting up shyly brushes some hair behind an ear. Though, she hasn’t been flirting anyone else for the previous year or so, just the one, seemingly oblivious, self-titled ‘War Machine’. It wasn’t for the lack of trying, that’s for sure.

She’s done the song and dance: asking out for drinks, trying to get to know Ash better when they had some time together (whether in the barracks or the mess hall or in the presence of others), and laying on as many moves as she could without coming off as creepy.

(A memorable exchange between her and Viktor as it followed:

“You even tried the-?” Viktor held his right hand in an ‘L’ shape, palm facing his chin.

Tyra nodded destitutely.

“...maybe she was raised away from society? How did she not recognise that?”)

But so far, it was met with nothing but polite confusion. It wasn’t Ash’s sign of outright denial, which Tyra would know by the narrowing of her eyes and her twisted scowl. Rather, it was acknowledged with knitted brow, then the moment would pass like it never happened. And as Tyra had mentioned before, this had been going on for the previous year without very little changing, and she doesn’t think its going to change now, when there’s a mission that sends them to the fringes of civilisation with only the two of them.

Normally it would be the Sentinals sent on missions like this, but this had called for a hunter’s touch, for the creature was skittish and more prone to escape capture if there were more than two people at a time. And Ash proved a fearsome powerhouse in case the creature wasn’t skittish at all. Some of the more popular rumours speculated that Ash was more machine than human. Those rumours were also very fond of painting Ash as driven, bossy, and angry.

Although, she seemed content to follow Tyra’s orders the moment they walked deeper into the forest. Hell, even before that she was was more or less sharing the decision-making with Tyra. Tyra’s worked with the War Machine, and she was indeed a ‘War Machine’ (hah) on the battlefield, so this development was slightly weird, but not altogether unwelcome. Besides, it gave Tyra an excuse to keep glancing at Ash’s profile when she wasn’t looking.

“So uh,” Tyra started, because she has no sense of self social preservation. “Nice day for a day, huh?”

Immediately, Tyra wants to kick herself. A nice day for a day? Who the hell says that? People who like to stick their foot into their mouths apparently, which now includes Tyra. But all Ash does is grunt. “Been nice for the last few days too.”

At least Ash was making conversation now. So Tyra fell back onto one of the things she knew well – hunting. “It’s good. It will be easier to track the creature without the rains or winds blowing away any of their tracks.”

Ash looked around. “Dunno. I see a whole lotta nothing from here.”

“There’s signs all around us, clear as anything.” Tyra pointed at where the bush parted. “Something bigger than your average boar came through here. If it was one, then the tusks would’ve left marks on the lower portion of the tree trunks. But look.” Her finger followed the tree to the upper parts. “Scratches. Broken branches. Around Gorlock height too. Even if they’re nasty when angered, Gorlocks are slow creatures when travelling. This one’s most likely a loner looking for a herd to integrate into.”

“Just the one?”

“If there were more, there wouldn’t be much of a village left.”

Ash shook her head, her words brusque, but her tone genuine. “How do you see all of that in this place?”

Compliment or not, Tyra ducked her head in embarrassment, hoping the flush in her cheeks didn’t show too starkly against her face paint. “I just do. Practice. It’s nothing really. Anyway, we’re on the right track. The Gorlock might’ve been resting for a few days already. The window of opportunity narrows.”

“Lead the way Tyra.”

But instead of continuing following the tracks like she was meant to, Tyra paused. “I want to...clear up something, first.”

Ash frowned at her, leaning on her canon. “Is it about the monster?”

“No?”

“…did I make you upset? Was it something I said?”

“What? No! Why would you think that?”

“Dunno. That’s the only reason I can think of.” Ash said, averting her gaze, uncharacteristically passive. A normal Ash would’ve brushed off the question, or even simply answered it with brute honesty, and Tyra was struck by the sudden realisation that Ash was...nervous. Nervous about what? The hunt? Being alone on a mission with Tyra?

“It’s not that either.” Tyra started. “But I thought we should clear the air before we continue. Dissonance in hunting groups can mean the difference between successfully bagging the creature and not returning at all.”

(Viktor would be so proud of her right now, going on about keeping the peace in the pack. She could see his grin even now, in her mind's eye.)

“Sure.”

Tyra took a deep breath. “What are we?”

“Two soldiers on a mission.” Ash answered bluntly, on par.

“Not only that. What do you see in me?”

Silence filled the forest. Even the birds seemed to have stopped in response, as if holding their breath in anticipation as well. Tyra forced her head higher when Ash gazed at her, expression unreadable. Not angry, not mad, just difficult to parse. Ash bit her lower lip in thought. Tyra couldn’t but be drawn to the flash of white teeth. She forced her gaze back up when Ash finally spoke.

“We’re...I don’t have any quarrels with you. I think we get along well. I think you’re nice to me.”

Tyra heart fell. Maybe she had been mistaken this entire time – it wouldn’t be implausible, no, especially with Tyra’s brash view. Maybe she really had been reading too much every time they hung out.

“No-one’s really that nice to me before. It’s good to have a friend.”

And there it was, the f-word (which was not as fun as her other, more favoured f-word). Friend was fine, however. A little of Ash company in a non-romantic sense was just as good, and it was better than none at all. She’ll cherish whatever time they have together, because it was not just anyone, it was Ash-

“Even if that’s all you want me to be.”

Tyra stared at Ash, blinking. Those were not the words of a friend, and they definitely not the words of a soldier strengthened by the bonds made in war. “...are you saying...you thought I was just friendly this entire time? I was hitting on you!”

Ash glanced sharply at her. “Wait. So all that stuff – talking, getting drinks with me, going on missions together – was because you were interested?”

“Yeah, I even did the thing! Y’know, the...hand sign thing.”

“Does that mean anything?”

Oh. Well, at least that explained why Ash didn’t do anything but smile confusedly at Tyra when she did it.

Tyra continued. “That’s not important. What is important is that yes, I was hitting on you because I wanted to be more than friends, but I thought you weren’t interested.”

Now there was definitely a blush on Ash’s face, rivalling the deep red of her dyed hair. “Not many people want to hang out with me in the first place.”

Some of Tyra’s incredulity eased out of her at that admission. That made sense, she guessed, if she had been trying to make moves on someone who never knew those moves existed in the first place. But talking seemed to work faster than all those months of posturing, so Tyra laid a hand on Ash’s shoulder and said, “Well. I’d like to. Maybe over drinks if this hunt goes well.”

(Nailed it.)

“I’d...like that.” Ash answered stiffly. But she wasn’t shaking off the hand, or even grabbing it and using it as leverage to throw Tyra over her shoulder. Small steps, Trya reminded herself. After all, they went from ‘co-worker who I like and get along with but absolutely would like to get to know better’ to ‘I guess we are dating’.

Then Ash’s face shifted into business again. “But we should probably focus on the mission first.” She moved and Tyra’s hand fell from her shoulder – not unkindly, just out of necessity, which Tyra understood. Right. The whole reason why they were here, in the middle of the forest. Tyra readied her rifle again just as Ash picked up her cannon, and the hunter smiled a wild grin at Ash.

“I also have a bit of a tradition; a kiss from a beautiful maiden before a hunt to bring luck.” She tapped her cheek for emphasis.

Judging by the combined glare and return of Ash’s blush, that line was cheesy enough to work. But all bravado disappeared as Ash moved closer. She hurriedly stammered out, “But that’s just a tradition, you don’t have to...”

Ash’s lips silenced the rest of Tyra’s sentence. It was less of a kiss and more of a gentle mash of Ash’s mouth on her own, but it still sent a thrill straight to her stomach. Surprisingly, it was a lot more...more than any kiss she’s ever had in the past. Even if it’s only their lips touching, which Tyra rectified by guiding Ash’s hand onto her own hip, while laying a hand on Ash’s shoulder. Yeah, much better.

Tyra’s lips were still tingling when they parted. “There. For luck.” Ash said. Or Tyra thought she said. She was too busy admiring the honeyed brown of Ash’s eyes, the immaculate precision of her eyeliner. She never had simply been close enough to Ash’s face to see the details until now.

And then Ash was already moving ahead, head bowed slightly, all shy again. But the difference now was that Ash’s dyed hair could hide the rising blush that had spread to the very tip of her ears.

It struck Tyra then, that she knew the difference between an angry storming off Ash, and one who was simply trying to drive away the last of her embarrassment through sheer will alone. Though to be fair, Tyra reflected as she traced her lips with a finger, Ash wasn’t the only one.

So she laughed and called out, “Do you even know where you’re going?” as she jogged after Ash. “The gorlock is in the other direction!”

She normally didn’t take partners hunting on the first date, but she’ll make an exception.

#ashra #Paladins: Champions of the Realm #pcotr #paladins champions of the realm #lumenizampel #ash ( paladins )#tyra ( paladins )#mentioned:#viktor ( paladins )#charwriting

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ghostmartyr · 5 years

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Pokémon FireRed Nuzlocke [Part 9]

Through the power of no grinding, we’ve earned all eight badges. All that’s left is Victory Road and the Elite Four.

Er.

Sort of.

My team might need some moveset adjustment.

I need my money for Full Restores.

So.

Let me just say, before all the fun is sucked out of me with this, that I love that Erika’s city has a gambling hall, a massive mall, and a Gym made of rainbows. Erika as a stoner lesbian with no fucks to give is the funniest headcanon I’ve had while playing these games, and I feel like there’s more evidence for than against.

-cue all the hidden Pokemon lore that says I am wrong-

-that I assume exists but refuse to look up-

I have fifty coins from talking to people and looking on the floor.

Five minutes later, I have fifty-two.

I miss Voltorb Flip.

...I’m switching machines. That always works, right?

Yaaaay.

4000 coins buys Thunderbolt. Shadow Ball is 4500. I had wanted that for Po. Seemed like a useful thing.

Sigh. Okay, let’s see the damage.

That’s.

Shit.

DON’T GAMBLE, KIDS.

Now we go back to Viridian and make our way to the Pokemon League.

With the unstoppable power of an Electrode who knows Thunderbolt.

Do you see this going well? Because I don’t.

Hey, the gate area is a new route. And it has grass.

But Serebii says I’ve caught everything I can here. Saddening.

Okay then. Now we get to the fun part. I think Sprinkle goes in front. Actually, no. Allenby goes in front. Sprinkle’s slow enough that running from wild pokemon will probably be an issue.

First Victory Road encounter! Something I can catch! It’s a Machop! Her name can be Mura.

Help, though. I don’t remember what this thing is or if it matters.

Oh! I think I know. It’s time for rock puzzles.

I Max Repelled a level 46 Onix into existence. This feels like a really helpful trick for this run. Noted for the future.

First fight of Victory Road! Cooltrainer Naomi! She opens with a level 42 Persian. Ponyta next. Sprinkle food. Rapidash. Similar. Vulpix. This is a good Sprinkle trainer. Ninetales. Fight won, exp for Sprinkle gained.

Oh, first/third gen.

Cooltrainer Rolando is up next. He has a level 42 Raticate. Oooh, a Charizard. Zaft or Sprinkle, Zaft or Sprinkle... Zaft. Sprinkle’s going to have a lot of things to eat. Zaft is more specialized. Sprinkle can have the Charmeleon, though. Ivysaur goes to Heero. Wartortle brings us back to Zaft. Win get.

Up a ladder, Black Belt Daisuke is waiting. He has a level 43 Machoke. Machop. Another Machoke, which Heero has to take for safety reasons. Won, and on we go.

Juggler Gregory only has one pokemon. It is a level 48 Mr. Mime. Po, could you just. Yeah, that.

I’m running around picking up all the items I can. I’m picking up TMs that I’ll probably never use, and TMs like Dragon Claw. That one, I can’t see not teaching something.

But something that keeps--I won’t say it’s distracting me, because I’ve spent this whole run very distracted by multitasking this with other stuff--occupying my thoughts is how much more of a climb this Victory Road feels.

Maybe it’s because this is the Victory Road of my childhood, and some impressions are glued in, but it’s all way more intimidating. It feels like an unknown, even though if you’ve played any of these games all the way through you know what’s coming.

I think even if part of it is just me being overly nostalgic, the way the technology’s evolved has something to do with it. This is a 2D experience, and with the sizing, everything feels way more open. One screencap shows you a lot more of the area than one would from later gens.

Only because it does that, the mazes and caves and such are designed with way more open space. When things are bigger, the paths can be more direct while taking the same amount of time to figure out. You see so much more in the early games, so it has to be less helpful. The result is that the world feels much larger and more uncertain. The world is a big place. It doesn’t feel designed for a person. It feels like you’ve been dropped into it.

It’s a nice feeling, and as much as I adore later gens, I don’t think any of them click with that on the same level.

Level 44 Persian opening things up. Allenby up front has been a good decision. Golduck next, so Zaft gets something to do. And that’s that.

Juggler Nelson. What’ve you got. A level 41 Drowzee. Po. Hypno. Kadabra, and I think I’ll send in Sprinkle for that. Same with the second one. Game over, Nelson.

Something I think would be cool is if trainers disappeared after you beat them. It would be a pain for people who use things like Vs. Seeker, but it would be a neat effect. We get magic teleportation powers when we lose, let the NPCs have a shot.

Cooltrainer George is guarding an item. He opens with an Exeggutor, so Heero swoops in to save Allenby. ... Heero suffers paralysis and a critical hit for her trouble, and frankly, ow. Electrode is next, so Po’s in. Sandslash means Sprinkle. Cloyster goes to Zaft. Arcanine, and we’re back to Sprinkle.

George was guarding a Max Revive. Ha.

This place is too big. If I have to bring the only boulder I’ve seen on this floor all the way over here, I riot.

Pokemaniac Dawson is our next opponent. He has a level 40 Charmeleon. As a side, Rock Slide hits enough when Allenby uses it to make me very wary of the future. My accuracy with that usually sucks. Lapras is next, so let’s give Zaft a crack. Zaft doesn’t quite one-shot it, but it uses Rain Dance, so all is forgiven. Lickitung brings Allenby back out. And we win. Yay.

Cooltrainer Alexa is up. I will try not to make jokes about your name. First out, a level 42 Clefairy. Tear it up, Allenby. Dewgong goes to Zaft. Jigglypuff brings Allenby back out. Persian. Chansey.

Sheesh. I think after this I need to go back to the Pokemon Center (walking, nothing in my party knows Fly) just so I get everything’s PP up. You do not waste PP items pre-Elite Four.

The boulder I said I’d riot over is a thing. I choose to peacefully restrain myself.

Ugh. And I can’t quite make myself go back to the Pokemon Center. Allenby might have to stop being in front, but that’s not too big a deal, and she doesn’t have to switch off yet.

Rude.

Cool Trainer Caroline. She starts with a level 42 Bellsprout, which makes me think Heero’s going to get a status debuff when she swaps in. But plot twist, Stun Spore misses. Good. Weepinbell. Victreebell. Parasect. Gotta say, the theme is really helping me here. Paras.

Good, you weren’t nice to me.

Cooltrainer Colby has slightly better manners. As well as a Kingler. Uh. Allenby deals with it because the things I can swap in make me anxious against a Kingler. For reasons of who knows why. Poliwhirl brings out Zaft. Zaft finally gets rid of Sonicboom because Swift can’t miss. Never mind that both things are useless for an Electrode.

Tentacruel comes out next, and you know what, that’s great for an Electrode. So is a Seadra. Blastoise.

Zaft is so overspecialized in Speed it makes me sad. I’m sorry, Zaft. I thought you learned Electro Ball. I thought it existed in this generation.

Back to boulder puzzles. Dropping rocks down holes.

It isn’t really a puzzle. It’s busywork. But it’s trying its best or something.

Oh. This might be not fun.

Allenby and Heero, you’re my dream team. Cool Couple Ray & Tyra with their level 45 Nidoqueen and Nidoking can’t possibly--okay you know what, Po and Sprinkle are coming out for this, sorry guys. The Leftovers duo has this.

...Don’t let Sprinkle’s paralysis confuse the issue.

...The important thing is that they won, let’s not talk about it further.

...Or how I wasted recovery items thinking the guy in front of the exit was another trainer.

WE MADE IT.

I have 41904 money stuff. Let’s see how many Full Restores that buys.

Thirteen.

But what if... I sold all my Revives and Rare Candy and Nuggets.

...Oh. I already sold the Nuggets.

Hey! Seven more Full Restores! I win!

And.

I guess that’s it, isn’t it? We’re out of things to do. Uh. But TMs. Po learns Earthquake at the expense of Snore. Heero trades Wing Attack for Aerial Ace because I’m shy of Fly and Aerial Ace doesn’t miss.

There are some other things I want to play with (Toxic, Dragon Claw, maybe Return), but those are for if we live through the first few fights. For now, we’re done. We’ve spent all the money we can.

Our team.

(Tarle, please do no ask why you’re there, you do not want to know, and more importantly, I do not want to tell you.)

Held items aren’t as common in this gen, so Po and Sprinkle have Leftovers, Zaft has a Sitrus Berry, and Heero and Allenby are given Orans. That division is because I think Heero and Allenby are more likely to meet up things that are close to being survivable with a nudge. Zaft is.

Zaft, try to live. I’ll understand if you can’t, but try.

-deep breath-

LET’S DO THIS.

The terror mounts.

As the music does.

(Lorelei, no spellchecker thinks your name is spelled weird, but I kind of do.)

A level 52 Dewgong is out first. In the interest of gulping and accepting the OHKO future I foresaw is probably not happening, Zaft is going to use Light Screen as a first move. The Dewgong uses Ice Beam, but Zaft is in the green. Zaft’s Thunderbolt does a perfect orange that should keep the Dewgong from being healed. It uses Safeguard. Zaft throws out another Thunderbolt, and...?

Lorelei’s out one Dewgong. Cloyster’s next, and Zaft stays in. Cloyster is level 51. Zaft downs it in one hit!

A level 52 Slowbro is next. It uses Amnesia after Zaft’s Thunderbolt takes out about 3/4 of health. And Light Screen wears off. Zaft uses Thunderbolt again because a super tanky Slowbro is not the ideal I want in my life, and Zaft manages the kill.

Lapras is up next. It’s level 54. Zaft needs to use Light Screen again in case Zaft is not enough for this, so we don’t have to immediately see evidence of the Lapras’ unbreachable bulk. It uses Surf.

Oh.

My heart places.

Allenby goes out. Uses Brick Break. It takes out half the Lapras’ health, and Lapras uses Confuse Ray. Allenby uses Cross Chop (through the confusion, good girl) because Lapras had a Sitrus Berry.

The Lapras falls, and a Jynx is next.

Heero.

Heero uses Flamethrower, Jynx is in the red and her Lovely Kiss misses. Lorelei heals it up, Heero uses Flamethrower again, Light screen wears off, and next turn. Heero uses Flamethrower again.

Hm.

Sorry, Zaft.

Zaft’s Sitrus Berry goes to Allenby. And uh. Uh. We continue on.

Allenby, let’s make some noise.

Bruno sends out a level 51 Onix. Brick Break takes it to orange, and it uses Rock Tomb. It takes 10hp off Allenby, and her Speed falls. Another Brick Break, and Onix is down. The next Onix is level 54. For the heck of it, I see what Seismic Toss does.

Ah. But this Onix is faster, and uses Earthquake. Allenby at 81hp, still green. Onix uses Earthquake again, Allenby’s at 27hp, Allenby tries for Cross Chop and it misses, and she eats her Sitrus Berry.

Playing the odds, I set Allenby for another Cross Chop. The next Earthquake takes her down to 8hp, but this Cross Chop hits.

Hitmonchan is next, and Heero has to fight it.

This is where Fly would come in handy. I forgot the level differential. Oh well.

Heero uses Aerial Ace. Heero gets a critical hit, and Heero, I swear I could kiss you, you beautiful Charizard.

Machamp is next. All of my stress. I’m pretty damn sure it knows a Rock move, but the only thing in my party who wouldn’t have a problem with that is Allenby. With 8hp. We are not yet at the stage of using Tarle, so Heero stays in.

Level 56 Machamp. Level 49 Charizard.

Heero’s still faster, so Aerial Ace goes first.

Oh dear.

OH DEAR.

Po. Po. Po. I don’t think it can kill you in one hit.

Its Rock Tomb misses, so it probably has Vital Spirit, so I don’t want to waste a Yawn. Po, we’re using you to heal folks up. Hyper Potion used on Allenby. Machamp uses Cross Chop, but misses. Hyper Potion used on Heero. Next Cross Chop hits.

Okay, so I no longer have Po. New (probably bad) plan.

Sprinkle comes out.

Machamp uses Bulk Up, which feels unnecessary. Sprinkle uses Perish Song.

I’m about to lose, aren’t I?

Allenby goes out. Uses Seismic Toss.

Look, I genuinely wish I could feel bad about this, but it’s hard to when I think about what’s waiting for me after this comes to a close.

Heero’s last.

...Not actually, but basically.

Machamp is swapped out for Hitmonlee because Perish Song. Heero’s Aerial Ace takes it to orange. Then the Machamp is back. Aerial Ace puts it in red, and then Rock Tomb puts Heero dead.

Somehow, this feels more cruel than what Tarle was initially here for.

lol at Bruno using a Full Restore.

WHEN THINGS ARE EXCESSIVE.

Yeah.

Just say they’re dead.

Because they’re dead.

As dead as this run.

So, what did we learn?

Did we learn that Fly is a good thing to have? Did we learn that being overly paranoid about accuracy stats to the point that you limit your pokemon’s choices is a bad trait? Did we? Did we????/???

Did we learn anything?

Yes, actually.

We learned that me obsessively marking down every single fight in this game had good consequences for future me after all.

We also learned that Electro Ball does not exist in this gen.

We also learned that I have sincere difficulty getting choked up over things dying when it’s very obvious how it’s all about to go down.

We also learned that when using a Gundam theme for nicknames, it’s really frustrating to have a primarily female team.

So, uh.

MY TEAM AS WE GET READY FOR ROUND TWO.

Okay, no, no, that’s not how we’re doing this. It’s actually much, much worse. So much worse.

Before we get to that, a few words to commemorate the fallen.

You were all amazing, and in any regular run, I’d be proud to have any of you as an ace of the team. You brought us all the way to the Elite Four, and you shone while doing it. I am so proud. Zaft, you nearly took out an entire Elite Four member all by yourself. You did so good, even though I horrifically hampered your stats by focusing all your EVs on Speed for a move you could never have.

Po. Sprinkle. You’re the wonder children. I didn’t think I’d ever have the chance to have you.

Tarle.

I’m sorry for bringing you into the Elite Four with the intent of killing you off so that something else could get healing maybe. I feel slightly bad about it. Thank you for teaching me the wonderful HMs Krabby can learn.

Allenby. Heero.

You were the best.

And now...

Goodbye.

ROUND TWO, FUCKERS. LET’S GO.

This text is so slow, take me back.

In honor of the teammate who was left behind.

I get so tired of using “rival” instead of a name just so I’m sure it’s obvious who I’m talking about. I’m cutting that part out this time. Gary is Gary is Gary.

This time, my ID number says..... .

-war flashbacks-

Bulbapedia says 4-6 is Fire. Yoooo.

O-okay.

WOULD YOU THINK ABOUT HOW HARD ON QUATRE THIS IS FOR FIVE SECONDS.

Domon.

Welcome.

You beat up Gary’s Squirtle, so you get to stay.

Hardy is a good thing to be.

Yosh. Time to speed through the fetch quest, get poke balls, and find out if Domon is going to take on Brock all on his lonesome. Gooooood times.

I need to come up with a new naming theme for this run, possibly. That’s one of the problems with doing this. I will eventually run out of nicknames. Nicknames are not anything near a specialty of mine.

Poke Ball get. What could our first second pokemon be this time????

I can’t remember if this happened last time. I’m too lazy to search my blog and check. This one’s name is Neal.

Route 1: Neal (Rattata)

(The above is to try to make remembering what I caught where easier. Will it work? Unlikely)

Oh, before anything else, I’m going to buy Antidotes. I’ve learned from my first time trying this.

Now we face one of our worst challenges. Will Domon be making his way to Brock alone, or will he have help?

Level 2.

Hm.

Route 22: Trowa (Mankey)

Hm.

I vote I find out how bad this can be with just Domon at the helm. Do you know why?

Because I am stubborn and refuse to use the same team each time. There will be some similarities I’m sure, but Trowa’s level 2. no. give me something I can work with, then we’ll talk.

Route 2 doesn’t want me to be happy.

Route 2: Cashew (Caterpie)

Viridian Forest: Lima (Weedle)

Lima got a critical hit and poisoned Domon. Like a jerk. So off we walk to the Pokemon Center, after using an Antidote so we don’t die on the way. Classic pre-Brock.

Domon doesn’t even have Ember yet. This is going to be maybe not much fun. But I think finding out just where Charmander ends up with this kind of start with these rules could help in the future. Or lead to restarting sooner.

Oh good, Ember at 7. Yay.

I’m not going to be going nearly as indepth with what I’m doing this time around. If you’ve made it this far, you’ve read it before. I’ll note when something interesting happens, but we’re trying to make this fast. Elite Four is where the run falls apart. Everything else was pretty okay. The quicker we get back to the tension, the better.

The end of Viridian Forest reached, all trainers down. Domon is level 12.

Now we walk all the way back through the forest to go beat up (?) our rival.

So much walking. I long for my Running Shoes.

This. Might be over faster than I want.

Domon eats the Pidgey and hits level 13. And learns Metal Claw! There’s hope, folks! !!! The Squirtle isn’t using a Water move! More hope!!!!!!!!!

Victory!

Domon versus Brock, who will be the champion?!?!?!

Only I have to beat the light-year kid first.

Domon does! Good boy!

...This makes me miss Heero.

Domon is also now level 14 heading into Brock.

Let’s do this.

Level 12 Geodude? Deceased.

Level 14 Onix? Um.

-whispers- my son

I’m gonna go ahead and be a terrible person here. Trowa, buddy. Go in while we heal Domon.

Trowa dies. Oh well.

Cashew!

Cashew dies.

But Domon got healing.

So now we wait and hope that Ember burns, right? Right.

It does not.

Welp, Domon’s dead.

Neal follows his lead.

...

There’s no way, right?

Yep, Lima’s dead, too.

Quatre, stop defending corpses.

Okay, what did we learn this round?

We learned that unless I get lucky on the burn, I probably do not want my Charmander to be all alone against Brock.

Learning is magic.

But I feel like we’ve done enough learning for now, so we’re going to stop here, and the next part will, once again, begin with a new team! Are we excited????

No.

No, we are not. This was a terrible idea.

In conclusion, ban Rock Tomb.

#Pokemon #Nuzlocke #Nuzlocke Challenge #playthrough

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thequlturecritic · 5 years

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QULTURE’S TOP 20 SERIES OF 2018

20. BUSY TONIGHT

You guys! Good energy is, like, totally in right now. And it’s never going away. You may know her from Freaks and Geeks, but I know her from Cougar Town as CC’s fun-loving, super-supportive sidekick. When you watch Busy Phillips on her cheeky, positive-vibes only E! talk show, a sense of “we’re all in this together” and “being kind to one another” is definitely a recipe for demolishing disaster. Remember how major Chelsea’s career became because of what so many probably considered a silly little talk show… well. I’m not a fortune teller or anything, but I could totally see Ms. Phillips taking over the universe. I want to be one of her minions. Cheers to another leading lady of late night!

19. THE VOICE

I’ve always been anti-reality competition shows when it comes to singing, only because I’m a total snob when it comes to what I subject my ears to. My musical tastes are versed and varied, but I still am pretty picky about who I let in to my drums, mostly because I need it to stimulate an eargasm and coincide with my life’s soundtrack. When American Idol launched, I definitely was enamored with Kelly Clarkson’s powerful vocals, but I still kept the close mind that an artist is discovered naturally, not “created” by producers with the backdrop and illusion that AMERICA gets to vote and pick the winner. Ah, who knows, maybe they do… I would just never take the time out to vote. HOWEVER. When I found out Kelly was going to be a judge on The Voice, which is a whole separate animal than Idol, I was shitting my pants with glee, because she really is such a goddamn force of fucking nature. Her spirit is overwhelmingly angelic and I simply love everything about watching her. Last season’s competition was magical, at least for me, perhaps because it was the first time I really got to experience the message and place the show has in the universe. It really is inspiring and lovely to see how much these artists themselves care for the teams they build and the individuals they want to see grow – regardless of whether or not it leads to fame. Alicia Keys and Kelly Clarkson’s dynamic was really something special that inspired me in so many ways.

18. COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING COFFEE

I love nothing more than a loose format, sans makeup, realistic conversation between famous people. Talk shows rock and all, but there’s something to be said for two people we all know and (often) admire, getting together and doing something that, ya know, regular people do! Like… go out to breakfast. I was never a fan of the Seinfeld sitcom, mostly because when it was popular it was kinda over my head and nothing that interested me. I’d probably be more inclined to watch and enjoy it now because of how much Veep has made me adore Julia-Louis Dreyfus and now much Jerry Seinfeld’s Netflix series about him… getting coffee… with comedians… has made me adore his admiration for vintage cars, honesty in humanity and one of the most important things we all seem to forget sometimes – which is to LAUGH! We live in such politically charged times, and while I get how important it is to talk about the very things we were always brainwashed to believe were impolite to talk about, we also need to be able to make jokes and not be so sensitive about everything. Ya heard?

17. AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL

Oh how I love me some Tyra, but it seems the future is all about Ashley Graham. Yet again – another fucking beautiful superhuman. I am really starting to hate that people even think of someone as “plus size”, but hey, it’s the world we live in. All I see when I look at her is someone with a whole lot of personality, gorgeous features and a personality that you’d be crazy to not gravitate toward. She is living proof that good vibes, energy and kindness (in the fashion industry?! How dare you!) go a long way. Tyra and Co. are doing such a bang-up job sending young women empowering messages about feeling safe in their own skin by infusing all shapes, sizes, colors and archetypes. This cycle was full of hilarious moments and was totally unpredictable. Despite her Trump-loving, Republican ways and complaining about being transformed into a “fire-crotch”, I was rooting for Liberty, Rio and Jeana to compete in the Top 3. That certainly evolved as the season went on, mainly because Jeana’s insecurities were getting the best of her (she had alopecia and they convinced her to be the alien-like, bald beauty – which she looked 10X better as vs. wearing wigs) and Rio had the most off-putting temper tantrum that had me and my bestie Carlee yelling at the the TV, “Who da fuck you think you talkin’ to?!” as if we were speaking for Tyra. Be humble, girls! Beauty ain’t just skin deep. At the end of the day, I loved seeing Kyla take the crown, because her activism, big heart and growth really was something special at the end of the day. Keep up the good work! I want 1000 more cycles.

16. SWEETBITTER

Starz’s adaptation of the best-selling novel by Stephanie Danler is short, but bittersweet. Ella Purnell is a breakout star, headlining the cast of unknowns who are all as equally as fantastic. I think that’s one of my favorite things about it (Caitlin Fitzgerald, in particular, who definitely has that thing) – how naturally gifted the entire cast is. Purnell stars as Tess, an All-American girl from bumfuck who makes her way to New York City to chase the dream, even if she has no idea what it is yet. Any of you who have worked in the service industry as a waiter or waitress will appreciate the authenticity of how intimidating, grueling and chaotic the industry can be… but how much fun it can be once your shift is over.

15. MANIAC

What is Netflix’s limited, vivid, disturbing, funny, emotional rollercoaster about? My brain is exploding from trying to analyze. Typically, in each episode, I get so lost in the perfection that is Emma Stone, I’m completely enthralled by how inspiring it is to watch one of our most exceptional young talents only seem to get better and better. It’s also always a pleasant surprise to see someone like Jonah Hill continue to prove himself as truly versatile. Remember when these two were just getting into stoner cinema and taking over the shelves at Blockbuster, during their Superbad days? Justin Theroux, plus. Sally Field, super-plus. Julia Garner (also of Ozark), a star on the rise! It might make you feel a little crazy while watching, but hey, we all go a little mad sometimes.

14. SHARP OBJECTS

Gillian Flynn’s book to big screen success with Gone Girl made a lot of us anxious to see what would be translated next. Following the trend of mini-series, binge-worthy greatness and big stars coming to the “small” screen, HBO announced Amy Adams would star in Sharp Objects, a dark, sultry murder mystery set in the swampy south that co-stars the amazing Patricia Clarkson – one of my absolute favorite actors. I’ll never forget when I “discovered” her, in Lisa Cholodenko’s High Art, one of my all-time faves. There’s a similar hypnotism with the limited series which also features a deliciously naked Chris Messina, and, of course, the direction of the man I’d say is pretty much cinematic perfection these days – Jean Marc Valee. If you have not yet seen Dallas Buyers Club, and another all-time favorite of mine, Wild, you are missing out. I’m assuming you have watched all of Big Little Lies once or twice, and can’t wait for season two next year. Neither can I. These are the people doing AWESOME awesome things in Hollywood.

13. AMERICAN HORROR STORY: APOCALYPSE

So, I’m always back and forth with AHS. I always love how visually stunning it is, but some seasons either lack substance or are literally just too fucking freaky for me to engage. I can not even set my eyes on Freak Show, thought Cults was too gory and scattered (although fresh off of the Trump presidency was a possible prediction of the future if we don’t all get our shit together) and definitely didn’t even give that Roanoke one a chance. The first two seasons rocked, and Gaga slayed in Hotel, but being that I love witches (Hocus Pocus, Witches of Eastwick) I have to say Coven is my favorite season. I love every Farmiga in life, Precious’ Gaborey Sidibe always makes me laugh and Emma Roberts is a rock star. How gorgeous?! She’s also such a little asshole in the best way. She’s someone I can picture punching me in the face, and I’d invite her to. Apocalypse is the best infusion of boy/girl magic and the ultimate comradery casting wise – as what could make for a perfect finale for the series ties all of Ryan Murphy’s brilliance together. That’s just my opinion – because I think a great series needs to know when to wrap it up, but these days everything is all about milking everything to the last drop, so… idk.

12. THE CONNERS

Roseanne returning was definitely the best of the best in reboot land, until her big mouth got her fired from ABC and launched The Conners, which features the entire cast minus a dead mother. I still respect her as an artist and will always love when TV wasn’t so linked to the Twitterverse, but these days I guess everyone really does have to be super careful about the shit they say – especially when we should know better that racism isn’t cool. It’s such an odd thing, because Roseanne was always so controversial, brave with their material, and was one of the first shows to have an out lesbian comedian/actress and character (the great Sandra Bernhard)… so… idk. That Sarah Gilbert though… she’s somethin’ special.

11. THE GOOD PLACE

Kristen Bell!!!!!!! That’s all. Ok, well, that’s not all… because Ted Danson is equally as amazing. Who wouldn’t love someone married to a dame like Mary Steenburgen?! I’ve been a fan of his since Three Men (and a Little Lady!). The diversity, quick wit, modern spin on the classic sitcom and concept behind this hit NBC series reminds us of why the network is always killing it when it comes to delivering quality, quantity and maintaining its colorful edge. I’m surprised I didn’t get into this show when it premiered, as season 4 approaches and the Globes, and surely the Emmy’s now are getting into recognizing genius when they see it. This show is filled with all the good feels! Maybe Heaven really is a place on Earth.

10. WILL & GRACE

When the reboot of W&G first returned to NBC, I was a bit underwhelmed by some of the writing. It seemed forced and a bit insecure – but it just took a few episodes for them to really get back in the swing of things and season 2 of the return is really on point. Debra Messing is better than ever (congrats on a Globe nomination!), as are Eric, Megan and Sean Hayes – who I’ve always greatly admired because of, what I like to consider his “big break” – the film, Billy’s Hollywood Screen Kiss. Growing up gay, Will and Grace was a trailblazing, extremely important and relevant show to so many of us because there wasn’t much of that on TV. But I’ll always remember that adorable indie of Sean’s. He should make more movies! I love him in Pieces of April too!

9. I LOVE YOU AMERICA: with SARAH SILVERMAN

Sarah has always been my absolute favorite comedian. Jesus is Magic is probably one of the most brilliant stand-up comedy feature films I’ve ever seen (are there many of those) combining music, comedy, political satire, sexually inappropriate and explicit linguistics… nothing is off limits. From jokes about AIDS, Martin Luther King Jr. and the Holocaust, to her dead grandmother’s rape to pussy jokes about child lesbians she’s related to. On her new Hulu series, Silverman takes a tour of the great country we live in, United States of A, talking to Trump supporters, men and women of all colors, shapes and sizes and makes an honest, unbiased, non-judgmental effort to deliver an intellectual perspective on all things current and heated in the minds of many. I love her condescending approach, ability to keep her cool, remain true to herself and do something important with her career. It’s a humbled and divine dose of reality that I think we all need, as at the end of the day she’s basically trying to unite us and get people to understand that despite our differences, respect and kindness can truly inspire change.

8. POSE

First of all – watch Paris is Burning, if you’ve never seen it.

I remember when I worked for the super cool East-coast indie video chain, TLA Video, it was one of the most popular rentals in our Gay and Lesbian section, as it should be. It’s a classic documentary that captures the heart, sole and strut of African American LGBTQ culture during the AIDS epidemic, when being a queen and going to the balls would begin to define what FIERCE meant for a generation. (Play: Azealia Banks, Fierce). It’s one of RuPaul’s favorite movies and certainly inspiration for Ryan Murphy’s vivid and heartfelt FX series starring Evan Peters, James Van Der Beek, Kate Mara and a wonderful assortment of newcomers including the fetch, fierce, versatile and gorgeous MJ Rodriguez, Dominique Jackson and (MY FAVE) Indya Moore.

7. CAMPING

Ever since 13 Going on 30, I’ve known Jennifer Garner was a unicorn. She has that innate ability to charm, impress and entertain us with charisma and natural comedic talent. When it comes to the American adaptation of the Brit series Camping, developed for HBO (in part with Girls’ master Lena Dunham), the team surely arranged the most perfect blend of talent for both behind and in front of the camera. Garner brings the most complicated and hilarious nuances to her character and proves she is more than capable of leading a most diverse and perfectly perfect blend of talent.

6. OZARK

Janet McTeer!! OMG! This woman is amazing and really the force that makes the sophomore season of the hit Netflix drug smuggling/money laundering/gangsta livin’ series all the more bombastic. Sure, Jason Bateman continues to be awesome in every way, but the women on the latest season (even the creepy old meth lady who wants a baby at 99) really slay and own the show, keeping us on the edges of our seats and beyond impressed with how hard anyone with a vagina is proving that they are taking over the world these days. As if we needed more reasons to be obsessed with Laura Linney – she takes her character to new heights, getting more screen time and really being thrust into a more evolved dynamic – sort of how Robin Wright does on House of Cards. As though the audience was more drawn to the female than the male lead the series was built around. But Janet McTeer?! Holy fuck, Janet McTeer. She’ll make your skin crawl and keep you up at night… binge-watching.

5. THE AFFAIR

Showtime’s scandalous, suspenseful and intricate portrait of love, marriage and infidelity has been one of my must-see series since its debut. The entire cast is pure magic, especially the four leads – Dominic West, Ruth Wilson, Maura Tierney and Joshua Jackson. I’m constantly lobbying for Tierney, who continues to blow my mind with everything from those perfect, pouty lips to the way she can make my heart melt with a single tear. Last season, the twists and turns were so unexpected – something so refreshing these days when it comes to storytelling – that none of us could’ve ever seen coming what we now have to go into season five knowing (and grieving with, in my case). This is one of of those shows that stands tall from start to finish, and continues to inspire the way character and perspective is conveyed, as well as how we process it ourselves as an audience. I’ve always been fascinated by the same story being told through different goggles – kind of like in The Rules of Attraction, or Go. I can’t wait to see how this show wraps up, as I am pretty certain we move into the final act, which in itself is always a great quality for a series to know when to wrap it up.

4. HERE & NOW

Alan Ball, oh how I love thee. In the evidence of his brilliance, my affection toward Ball’s beautiful writing and ability to conduct such a beautiful cinematic symphony began with Six Feet Under, as it did most. If ever there were a perfect start to finish series… Rare is the artistic bird who can take such a celebrated drama and weave the social and political issues into a horror series – which is what he did with the addictive True Blood, a show that I would find myself equally hypnotized and aroused by. Ball’s latest gem is yet again a celebration of why we love HBO, his observant mind and heart, and ability to recognize genius when he sees it, in regard to casting. The always wonderful Holly Hunter and Tim Robbins headline a cast of brave, beautiful talents – including the tiny miracle that is the birth-child of Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon, Sosie, who is one of my favorite actors/characters in this captivating new drama that celebrates all the feels of our current reality. It’s a mixed blend of understanding the human condition and how people of all walks relate to one another while truggling with matters of the heart and psychological warfare.

3. RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE

For ten seasons now, Queen of Drag, RuPaul Charles has been taking her dynasty and giving it a royal upgrade every season with eye-popping elements that consistently allow this groundbreaking competition series to be one of queer and pop culture’s most celebrated. From the guest judges (Season X premiered with a Farrah Moan-esque Christina Aguilera dolled up for all the queens to gag over, which they did – myself included) to Michelle Visage’s dazzling eyewear collection to the costumes to the casting and the challenges – which get more and more innovative – Rupaul’s Drag Race has become a small empire that has the promise to spinning into so many different types of series and assure celebrity drag careers are a thing of the future, now more than ever. I loved the queens this season, especially my future husband Kameron Michaels (beautiful inside and out, boy or girl) and the well-deserved winner Aquaria. This was the second season in a row for me (I haven’t seen a lot of the previous seasons) where Ru got it absolutely perfect. I’m also a huge fan of Vice’s The Trixie and Katya Show which you should get into as well!

2. THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL

All of the hype surrounding the Golden Globe & Emmy winning Amazon Prime series starring the incomparable Rachel Brosnahan as Mrs. Maisel, is the type of perfection that isn’t all-talk. Everything you’ve heard about this hilarious gem of a binge-worthy comedy is true: the costumes, the production design, the brilliant performances, directing and top-notch writing is on trend with celebrating everything we love about women in the world right now, and the time capsule reminds us of how far everyone has come marching to the beat of optimism and fighting for equality. I’m so happy the great Alex Borstein has been honored and been receiving praise for her work, and rightfully so, as she steals scenes from the great Maisel herself in the latest season. It’s truly one of the best watches out there, so get into it!

1. SCHITT’S CREEK

What started out as a little Canadian sitcom from a then unknown Pop TV, has since become a pop culture phenomenon and one of the small screen’s most celebrated, quoted and adored comedies out there. In Season four, we continue to follow the Rose’s on their journey of personal growth, going from riches to rags in a small bumfuck town where they clearly stick out like a redneck tooth fairy for plenty of good reasons. We already knew Catherine O’Hara and Eugene Levy were totes brilliant, but every season I grow more and more enamored with how crazy talented Dan Levy & Annie Murphy are. Their nuances, the way the arcs of their characters have evolved… it’s like their learning from two comic legends and its working for them every step of the way. This is truly already an iconic, feel good show that is spreading such messages of love and beauty throughout society. Loves it!

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