#(it's called bucketof crabs with magnets bc like

[other-peoples-coats]

Ok, I'm thinking about like, the logistics of a no-chip au, right because...look, I got into star wars via @bytebun's observer's effect and immediately proceeded to write like 80k of mostly nightmare difficulty trolley problems stacked in trenchcoats, this should not be a surprise.

Anyway as far as I can see it there's basically two options when it comes to like, The Whole Vader Situation in a no-chip au:

Option one, aka the chosen one: right from the start, all the clones know not to kill anakin When The Time Comes, he's Marked Out, he's the Specialist Special Boy and don't you dare let him die he's sheevy's blorbo from the Temple and by the Force he will be the next sith apprentice slash...like, idk, genuinely not sure what sheevy's plan was for if anakin didn't by some unlikely event Fall, possibly just stick him in a robo-suit and sith chemical him into it anyway? mount him on the wall like a trophy?? Weird Unethical Experiment Time??? anyway. Option one is the obvious one, right, like, it's a plan, follow the plan, don't fuckin' kill skywalker, all the other Jedi are fucked though, don't get attached!

Benefits of this are: your entire clone army goes into knowing that like, the jedi general they have is Fucked. their time is Finite. there is an expiry date and if it's not in the war it's, well, at the end of the war. Like having a short lived pet, right, like, it's not a surprise when it dies and you kinda know it's only gonna be around for a year or two so there's only so attached you get. If you hate your jedi general, well, it's temporary! you can grit your teeth and get though the next couple of years knowing that you'll get to see the look on their face when you shoot them. Drawbacks of this are: I mean, I guess if clones actually like their jedi it's kinda bad. you have to depend on every single clone not telling their jedi that psst hey you might wanna skedaddle for Reasons. also like, weird opsec, I assume, about the whole 'One Specialist Boy'.

So that's option one. it's the one I see the most often in no chip aus, which makes sense, cause, like, it's canon, basically. as much as a no-chip is canon, at this point. Works nice, gives a lot of room for crunchy angst/guilt/etc, solid option.

Option two, aka bucket of crabs with magnets: this is the one where anakin is not the specialist special boy ever, the One True Blorbo from the Temple. Or at least, not as far as the clones are concerned, who the fuck cares what skeevy sheev feels for Real. This is the option where all the clones know that -- well, most of the jedi are fucked. Most. Maybe one or two select jedi aren't, though, if they can be... talked around. proved to be worth keeping, under The Glorious Empire, even if it requires....a little bit of reeducation afterwards. The Emperor is on the look out for an Apprentice; a couple of Force sensitive attack dogs would be useful, too.

Benefits of this one are: no clone is gonna spill the beans, right. If you hate your jedi, well, they can die as in option one, grit your teeth and wait for the order to come down, and you 100% don't want them knowing about the possiblity of living into the empire because 1)opsec etc 2)they have to die bc the idea of being in The Glorious Empire but Master Jackass is still fucking around is like. a nightmare. fuck that.

If you like your jedi, though. You're not gonna spill the beans, either. Because you like your Jedi, and that means you want to give them the best possible chance at bein One Of The Chosen Few. Them finding out early will get them killed, or they'll share it with the wrong person and get killed.

It also means every battalion is basically pitted against eachother -- or at least, those who like their jedi are. Bucket of crabs but make it an army; there's only so many spots for force senstives in the empire, and there's a lot more jedi than there are spots. You're working with eachother because you want the empire and because you know everyone else wants the empire and the empire is inevitible, but also, your jedi has to survive. your jedi; not the one from the 414th or the 78th or the 631st the fucking 212th; every bit closer to securing one of those spots someone else's jedi gets is a bit closer to your jedi dying in a hail of blasterfire.

drawbacks of this are: your entire army is aware of the upcoming trolley problem, none of them trust anyone else to not pull the lever, and their solution is to shove each other's jedi in front of the trolley in the hopes that their specific jedi will be on the right side of the tracks when the trolley finally passes the junction. Tie 3 million carthorses to a meat grinder and accept that the most control you're really gonna get is a general direction.

Then again; it's a sith plot. probably having some amount of 3 million clones actively trying to ensure that their specific jedi will be the specifc jedi who survives to be part of the empire will turn out fine. what could go wrong.

#star wars #order 66 #no chip au #anakin skywalker #coats originals #coats chats #anyway the idea of clones like. trying to get their jedi to fall but also trying to keep OTHER jedi from falling is making me laugh #I do love a no chip au but sometimes I think about the logistics of The Secret Plan #and just scream forever bc like #when!! was there a class of like HEY THIS ONE: NO KILL HIM #even with chips!!!! is anakin hardcoded friendly???? #like is there an au where he doesn't fall and order 66 goes through #and he's just like. mowing through clones who won't shoot him? #these are the sorts of questions that keep me up at night. #(it's called bucketof crabs with magnets bc like #bucket of crabs but turbocharge the pulling others down right. but also we're all getting out of this bucket.) #bucket of crabs au