#(except for me thinking that demetrius is an emotionally neglectful and emotionally immature father at BEST)

[not-poignant]

I'm really enjoying A Stain! I was wondering if you could let us know some thoughts about Sebastian's perspective on Alex at the moment, because even though he's had a very low opinion of Alex, he still seems invested - checking up on him after the stiches, hanging out at Community Centre, being protective about his low pay. Is it guilt from his treatment of Alex after hearing Harvey at the funeral, fascination at the ways Alex has changed from HS, or a sense of responsibility from looking after Alex when he was attacked? (or a mix?) Is he developing an attraction to Alex at all? He clearly doesn't trust Alex and flips to being very cutting very quickly, and still sees himself as a bit of a victim to HS Alex without seeming to consider the impact of his own actions towards him. We can infer a lot from Alex's POV and Sebastian's reactions, but I'd love to hear any further thoughts you have on Sebastian as I think your thoughts are always very interesting and insightful on character psychology (if you're happy to share!). I'm loving the updates and looking forward to seeing how the story and relationship develop!

Hi hi anon,

I don't want to go into too much detail (I say...before launching into an epic amount of detail) because I want folks to learn more about Sebastian as the story goes on, but I will say that...

(Actually some of this stuff will sound a little Sebastian critical re: the story, so for people who just want to imagine that Sebastian feels all soft and guilty and concerned and just sometimes is really defensive, don't read below the Read More, lmao)

There's definitely an appeal to Sebastian in holding a certain amount of power over an old bully, after going through a divorce and experiencing other moments of powerlessness in his life. It's one of the reasons he still very much identifies Alex as being a bully (and keeps expecting it) and it's also why he's so quick to turn on a dime and become quite cutting.

I think beneath that, there are growing emotions of concern, alongside curiosity, re: the kind of person that Alex is. He definitely got invested in Alex's life not specifically because Alex got injured, but because Alex got injured by Martingale, which gave Sebastian a chance to kind of yell at his ex-husband, which he really wanted to do and hasn't really done otherwise lmao. Sebastian has motivations here that aren't entirely to do with Alex, and are also very connected to his history with Martingale, his need to re-establish himself as a powerful and secure figure in Stardew Valley (he is, right now, probably one of the top 3 most affluent people in the town, second to only Martingale and Mayor Lewis, and his coming back to Pelican Town was very much a 'fuck you, other people can achieve shit too' kind of moment, alongside genuinely missing aspects of the landscape and the mountain lake specifically).

It's tempting to interpret all of Sebastian's feelings and actions towards Alex as being a result of...well, Alex as he is now. But Sebastian's motivations re: Alex have been also very strongly influenced by Martingale's behaviours towards him, and Alex's bullying of him in the past, and frankly, Sebastian's inability to see himself or accurately situate himself in the context of being Alex's bully (both in the past and tbh, sometimes currently).

There is definitely increased attention towards present Alex, but it's come more as an afterthought. The thing he was most shaken by, that he continuously and conveniently forgets, is that Alex supported his grandparents on his own, without any help, for a long time. And he's frequently then shaken by Alex's general attitude towards himself, but he's making a lot of misfires and is miscommunicating a lot partly because it's very tempting to for him to see this as 'Alex once lorded it over me and now he's just some guy and I get to actually help him for once and have power over him and I don't even have to be a dickhead about it' lol.

I don't see Sebastian as a guy with high emotional intelligence - or it's more like...very intermittent emotional intelligence, he can be caring, but he sort of has to click into it, vs. it being there all the time. He's got a huge chip on his shoulder re: Demetrius and Martingale, and he's absolutely not worked through it and definitely slips into using Alex as a target for his issues. Sebastian has anger issues, he's a workaholic, and he has some growing to do as a person.

I don't think Sebastian feels responsible for him, tbh, I think he made that pretty clear when he dragged Alex to Martingale's against his will and against his consent, to make Martingale take responsibility for him. And after that, Sebastian was still completely reamed out by Harvey for literally putting his own needs before Alex's health. Sebastian acted in an extraordinarily selfish manner, in some ways, he got to show off his home and his amazing skills to Alex (who was actually in awe of Sebastian's home and his skills lmao), yell at his ex for being a douche balloon, show off his awesome fighting skills (which made Alex feel small and inadequate - there was definitely an uglier element of 'what have you done with yourself, Alex, when I can do this??'), and then basically go home and think about what he'd done.

I think after all of that he visited Alex more partly out of guilt, yeah, lmao. Harvey tearing him a new one definitely helped on the whole 'Alex is a human person with real feelings and not just a teenage bully who you get to show off to and use as a stand in for dealing with your real issues.'

But even his 'Mayor Lewis should be paying you more' didn't translate to him offering Alex the job, in fact he didn't want Alex to take the job. It was clearly a surprise to him that Alex suggested it, and he literally says 'you can't be my cleaner.' He thinks it over after that, but his first reaction isn't one of 'this would solve both of our problems.'

I think folks want to hear that Sebastian's really invested in Alex, but I honestly think that's still happening, and still growing within the narrative. I think it will become a lot more obvious once Sebastian becomes invested, though it's coming soon, it will still be through Sebastian's anger at other people (Martingale, Mayor Lewis, his family, etc.) Sebastian's slowness re: attaching to Alex was one of the reasons I needed to get Alex into Sebastian's house more often!

Also while I do think Sebastian objectively thinks Alex is attractive, he doesn't find Alex personally attractive. He's got the ability to go 'yeah I can see what other people see in him, but he's not for me.' He's blanked Alex as a possible sexual object / fantasy because of Alex's actions growing up, and the assumption that Alex is just an extreme homophobe and it's generally not good practice to like...cultivate attraction to your bullies and homophobes in your life, y'know? (Some people do, but most people if they feel it happen are like 'NOPE not gonna do tHAT.')

Alex's love is genuinely unrequited in the beginning of this story for that reason.

But yeah, like, there is some guilt in there for sure, and some concern, but I find it really interesting looking at Sebastian through the lens of 'he has something to prove in this town that he still hates for essentially fucking up a lot of his life,' and I find it really interesting that Alex is the safest target for Sebastian's anger at Demetrius and Martingale in particular. Sebastian's not super assertive (even within the game), because his parent/s have ignored his boundaries all his life around work, and he's faded into the background even as someone who lived in the basement of his own home and who was clearly overshadowed by Demetrius and his love and clear favouritism re: Maru.

So... you basically have two not assertive boys who grew up bullying each other because they both saw each other as safe targets. But Sebastian was the worse bully, and now is someone who sees himself as a victim not just of Alex's, but also Martingale's (to a point, that's complicated), Demetrius' and the town in general. I think it's going to be very satisfying at least personally when Sebastian realises he can be an absolute dickhead as much as anyone else, lol.

Er yeah, so... lots of rambling anon! The tl;dr of it all is that some of Sebastian's behaviours towards Alex are not wholly and sometimes not even mostly because of thoughts about Alex specifically. That's why there's been so much inconsistency between concern, guilt, compassion, bullying, meanness, spite, and more!

#asks and answers #a stain that won't dissolve #long post #thespectaclesofthor #sdv alex #sdv sebastian #for the record this isn't how i feel about alex and sebastian in general in the game? #this is very specific to the fic and things that have gone down #(except for me thinking that demetrius is an emotionally neglectful and emotionally immature father at BEST)