#( but I was bugging out about dix yesterday )

[chainofclovers]

@little-brisk tagged the entire internet a la livejournal, and I will do the same! Answer these if you wanna answer them. 

1. Name/Nicknames: off to a great start by refusing to put my real name here! however, my fandom nickname is CoC or just “coc” which makes me laugh

2. Gender: (cis) woman, lazy femme, lesbian

3. Star Sign: scorpio! i’m not scary but i am very much a scorpio

4. Height: 5′3″ (i’m actually a bit taller than 5′3″ but it sounds like I’m saying “I’m six and three-quarters years old!” to say I’m 5′3.5″. But I am between 5′3″ and 5′4″.

5. Time: 9:28 a.m. eastern time

6. Birthday: November 4. My birthday is pretty much always me being filled with election anxiety, recovering from election anxiety, or experiencing the day of a massive election. I do not recommend being born at the start of the month in which an unstable democracy re-ups itself!

7. Favourite Band: right now it’s The Weather Station!!!!!!

8. Favourite Solo Artist: Dusty Springfield

9. Song Stuck in My Head: hahahah “Black Rainbows” by Cut Copy because I used a line from the song to title a fic I wrote yesterday

10. Last Movie: watched I Care a Lot last weekend

11. Last Show: my wife and i are about to start watching season four of Dix Pour Cent (Call My Agent) on Netflix. it’s so good!

12. When I Created This Blog: summer 2014!

13. What I Post: feelings about fictional women and real women

14. Last Thing I Googled: “torrey peters” (I’m reading Detransition, Baby right now and it’s so good and I wanted to know a bit more about her!)

15. Other Blogs: I have a website and a tumblr under my real name. That tumblr gets no use anymore and hasn’t for years.

16. Do I get asks?: Not super often, but sometimes! I get asks when I request prompts or ask questions, and sometimes I get really lovely anon (or not anon!) asks out of the blue. I rarely get anything nasty.

17. Why I Chose My URL: because it’s the same as my (nearly) meaningless fic pseudonym

18. Following: 306

19. Followers: 1020

20. Average Hours of Sleep: probably about 7?

21. Lucky Number: 22

22. Instruments: lol, I used to play the clarinet and you should feel glad I don’t anymore. Haven’t since middle school!

23. What I Am Wearing: I am still wearing my pajamas, which are some olive green sweatpants and a brewery t-shirt and a grey sweatshirt

24. Dream Job: I don’t entirely know my answer to this question. My dream life is a writing life, and I have as close to that as I can without literally quitting my job in order to write only the things that I, specifically, want to write. And I don’t want to do that because my feelings about my day job exist on the spectrum of like to love pretty much daily. Even if I’m usually stressed out I am very, very privileged and blessed in my work.

25. Dream Trip: Mexico City but probably not until I’ve learned more Spanish. I’d love to go back to the UK at some point. And I want to explore more of Canada! Oooh and the plains here in the U.S. 

26. Favourite Food: homemade bread, by itself or with salted butter or with spicy peanut butter or with butter and radishes. i also love spicy food, especially thai curries, and vegetables (esp broccoli and broccoli rabe) roasted until they’re a little crisp, and lots of different potato-related foods, and the best thing I’ve cooked recently is salmon in a miso-maple glaze and the best thing my wife has cooked recently was this chickpea dish with greens and lots of cheese, omg

27. Nationality: american. womp womp

28. Favourite Song: "time (the revelator)” by Gillian Welch

29. Last Book I Read: the last book I finished was the care and feeding of waspish widows by Olivia Waite (fun book with a terrible cover, MAYBE IT’S JUST ME but if I’d written a book in which a fat forty-something woman is rightfully and happily an object of great sexual desire I’d be miffed if my book came out with a stock photo-style portrait of two thin women in their early thirties at most)

30. Top 3 fictional universes I would love to live in: 

Girl, Woman, Other by Bernardine Evaristo because reading that book was like meeting new friend after new friend and I really missed them after the book was over! I gave the book to one of my aunts for Christmas and she told me she felt like she’d just met a bunch of new people, and it made me so happy that she had that reaction too.

I am not cut out for a life on the run but all the outdoor settings on the show Wanted are so beautiful so I would be willing to live there and aid and abet Chelsea and Lola if they needed help. I’d return to my own reality the second I met one of those massive Australian bugs, though.

I know I’d be so miserable but Battlestar Galactica was really, really immersive TV for me and I think I’m decent in a crisis and I guess if I lived in the world of BSG I’d find out for real.

#about me #meme #a good old fashioned internet survey #personal

[meenasmoon]

Bicurious Ash/Becky story?

A New Flavor to Love

So I just couldn’t bring Becky into this. I have intense feeling about what she and Lance did to Ash. That being said, Ash is totally bisexual and this story is all about her finding this new part of herself and learning that she can feel love again.

Ash almost fell down to her knees and praised the coffee gods when the quaint little coffee shop magically appeared on her block. She accepted it for the blessing that it was and promptly dumped her crappy old coffee maker. The very next morning when she reluctantly rolled out of bed at an ungodly hour for morning practice before the show she perked up the slightest bit at the thought of a quality cup of coffee. 

 She threw on her favorite tattered black tights, old jean shorts, and an AZ-DZ concert shirt. She stumbled through the kitchen where Johnny was blankly staring at the toaster like the half-burnt waffle that it was about to deliver would save him from the early morning. They grunted hello to each other as Ash stopped to put on her brand new combat boots. That was the extent of their morning conversation because Johnny wouldn’t perk up until he ate his breakfast and saw his girlfriend. Ash, on the other hand, required a cup of liquid gold before she could function at normal capacity. 

She trudged down the street to the tiny coffee shop and easily slipped inside. She was greeted by the comforting smell of coffee that buried itself deep in her bones and made her mouth water. At the early hour the shop was relatively empty and Ash couldn’t have been more grateful for this fact because it meant nothing but a barista stood between her and her elixir of life. 

As she neared the counter she expected to be greeted by some disinterested teenager that would rather do anything other than take her order, but she was pleasantly surprised. The raccoon waiting behind the counter managed to stop her heart and strike her dumb at the same time. Her fur was a mesmerizing mix of striped that mirrored the designs on Ash’s quills. Her big round eyes were hidden behind a pair of baby blue glasses but the rims couldn’t hide her strikingly golden eyes. Rather, the glasses seemed to make them all the more mesmerizing. She was wearing a white loose crop top that was covered in tiny lady bug designs, and tattered jean shorts. 

Ash panicked a little bit when the beautiful mammal flashed her a blinding smile and leaned forward over the counter to take her order. Her mind raced for a few seconds as she scrambled to remember why she was here, where she was going, and why she would have any reason to leave this beautiful girl. 

“What can I get for ya?” She asked innocently as Ash continued to stare at her in complete shock. She had never felt this way about another girl before. Sure she had always appreciated the occasional attractive mammal, but no one had short circuited her brain with just a smile and a few words, not even Lance. 

Finally Ash was able to blurt out her order and robotically let the girl check her out. She didn’t remember how much it cost, let alone how much cash she gave the girl. All she could remember was the race with which she made the most perfect cup of coffee that Ash had ever tasted. 

Before she could be sucked into an embarrassing conversation with the woman that caused havoc in her brain and shut down her ability to communicate like a normal person, Ash snatched up her coffee and dashed out the door. 

It wasn’t until later when she was wistfully examining her empty cup, hoping more of the black gold would appear, that she noticed the curly handwriting sprawled over the cup:

 Good Morning, Beautiful.

Ash turned cherry red and shoved the cup in her bag, unable to come to terms with the feelings that it evoked. She tried to ignore it for the rest of the day but the raccoon girl refused to leave her thoughts and all she could hear was her sweet voice calling out her message, over and over again. 

 By the time she went to bed that night she was a whirlwind of confused thoughts and feelings. She had never felt this level of anything for anyone, and after only one meeting! They hadn’t even talked. She was ready to rip out her quills in frustration. Instead she vowed to herself that she was going to avoid that coffee shop like the plague and therefore remove her attraction entirely.

 That plan lasted until she left the house the next morning. Automatically her feet took her towards that dreaded coffee shop. When Ash finally realized where she was she almost threw a tantrum, but instead settled for grumbling angrily at the universe as she wrenched the door open and stomped up to the counter.

 She fully intended to say something casual and detached to the girl at the counter but as soon as those eyes turned in her direction her words and her mouth dried right up. Fortunately for her dignity the girl seemed to read her mood and spoke up first. 

“Good morning again! Rough day so far?” She asked, her bright smile still as adorable as the first time Ash saw it. Miraculously she found her voice and managed a hoarder than usual reply. 

“Every morning that I have to get up this early is a rough day.” She gave the girl a small smirk and to her absolute pleasure she giggled and her cheeks turned a gentle pink. 

“Well let me help you out with that. Same as yesterday?” She picked up their largest size cup and waited for Ash’s nod of approval before she began making the drink. 

This time Ash stood and watched her as she made the coffee, paying extra attention to her as she pulled her sharpie out of her apron and scribbled a note on the cup. When Ash gratefully accepted the coffee she  casually strolled from the coffee shop, desperately trying to ignore her brain’s insistence that she check what the message said.

 She finally gave in when she got to the theatre, making sure to hide away in her practice room before she revealed it. 

You are MY sunshine this morning, beautiful.

Normally Ash would have rolled her eyes at such a sappy line but now, with her eyes glued to the elegant whirls and swoops of the words, she could only grin. Suddenly she understood why Johnny and Meena were always exchanging sappy notes and gifts. This feeling blooming in her chest, it was precious and it soaked up these sappy notes like it was starving for love. And maybe, after the Lance debacle, she really was hungry for love. 

Ash pushed away that train of thought, took a sip of the coffee and then got to work. Her guitar rested easily in her arms and as she strummed the strings her mind relaxed and the music flowed from her. Except this time she had no plan, no set idea. The music would come to her in whatever form it wanted. And she was starting to be okay with that. 

Wednesday morning and Ash was once again standing at that counter, chatting with her captivating barista as she made her drink. Today she had finally gotten the courage to actually talk to the girl rather than stare dumbly at her. So far it had been going well. The sweet raccoon rolled with her sarcasm like it was nothing, and gave back as good as she got. It had surprised and pleased Ash to no end. 

The best part about this visit was that she finally learned the girl’s name: Dixie. Ash had immediately shortened it to Dix, which the barista seemed to enjoy.

 “So you’re not one of those baristas that hates coffee are you?” Ash asked teasingly and was delighted when Dixie laughed and made her heart skip a couple beats. 

“Nah. I love coffee with all my heart.” Her smile seemed to grow even brighter as she added some foam on top of Ash’s latte, “the smell, the taste, the incredible ability to keep me alive.”

 She winked at Ash who laughed and leaned farther onto the counter as if getting closer to her would make their conversation all the better, “My thoughts exactly.“ 

Ash blushed, and with her heart in her throat she took her coffee and sipped the perfect concoction, "You make the best coffee that I have ever had." 

Her comment was soft and unsure but it made Dixie stop in surprise. At her lack of reaction Ash felt like she might spontaneously combust from embarrassment, but she was saved from certain death a few moments later by Dixie.

 Dixie turned bright pink under her black and white fur and gave Ash a shy smile that made her want to kiss Dixie within an inch of her life. Thankfully she reigned in her wayward thoughts, waved goodbye and dashed out the door. She ended up being late to practice and receiving a verbal lashing from Buster. By the time she was alone with her coffee she was back to grumpy. Angrily she searched her coffee for the message and when she finally found it she let it melt away her roiling emotions:

 Talk coffee to me, beautiful

This time Ash’s blush was accompanied by her reluctant smile as the playful little message brought her back down to earth and gave her another burst of mysterious inspiration. She immediately got to work on her untitled song, scribbling furiously on sheet music as she descended into her own little world.

 Thursday morning as Ash was leaving for the coffee shop she decided to run a little experiment. With each day her attraction towards Dixie grew stronger and she was slowly working up the courage to ask her out. But before she could even attempt to ask her out she needed to get her friend’s approval. Besides, she needed to know if Dixie wrote messages on all cups or if it was just hers. The optimistic part of her brain chastised her for even thinking that Dixie would do something like that, but the pessimistic side claimed that she probably wasn’t interested in anything other than friendship. Ash shut them both up by grabbing Johnny and Meena off the couch where they were cuddling and dragging them along with her. 

As soon as they walked into the coffee shop The smells and sounds put Ash at ease as usual. Meena had Johnny’s hand clasped in hers as she led her comatose boyfriend through the shop and up to the counter. Ash rolled her eyes when Johnny just yawned and fell asleep on Meena’s shoulder as Meena tried to hold in her giggles so as not to disturb him. 

"Hey Dix.” Ash called when the sunny barista appeared with a big smile. 

“Hi Ash.” She breathed out happily, her eyes glittering with happiness.

 “I brought along some friends today.” Ash gestured to the sleeping Johnny and Meena who waved shyly. 

“Oh dear, looks like he definitely needs some coffee.” Dixie laughed and grabbed the biggest coffee cup size, already making Ash’s order without prompting. When she looked to Meena the elephant gave her a shy smile and said quietly. 

“I’ll have a hot chocolate and he needs the biggest mocha that you can make. Double shots.” Johnny let out a little snore, which sent all of the girls into fits of laughter. 

“Coming right up.” Dixie smiled, accepted  Ash’s cash and then got to work making the drinks. The first one to come up was Johnny’s and they all watched as Meena shook her boyfriend awake and immediately gave him his coffee. Johnny sniffed it suspiciously and once he recognized the smell he gratefully brought the cup up to his mouth and took a deep drink.  

Satisfied that Johnny was more awake and enjoying his coffee Dixie gave Meena her hot chocolate and got to work on Ash’s drink. As she made it she chatted with Ash and Meena. She was waiting for the milk to heat up when suddenly her face lit up in revelation. 

“Oh my goodness! That’s where I know you from!” She suddenly gasped and Ash and Meena exchanged confused looks before Dixie realized that an explanation was in order. 

“You guys sing at the Moon Theatre! I’ve seen poster’s for your show all over town. We even have one in the shop! How could I have not noticed?” She smacked her forehead and let out an embarrassed laugh.

  “Heh yeah that’s us.” Ash bashfully rubbed the back of her neck and waited for the fangirl gushing that always followed someone recognizing them. Instead, Dixie handed Ash her cup, gave her that sweet smile and left her with one parting remark. 

“I really like your songs. Good luck!” And with that she disappeared into the back of the shop. Ash was shocked by her refreshingly calm attitude and immensely pleased that Dixie had passed a test that Ash didn’t even know was a test. 

She let Meena guide her and Johnny out of the shop and towards the theatre until they were able to walk on their own. Ash suddenly came back to reality and cursed herself for zoning out again. Out of the corner of her eye she examined her friends cups and was relieved to only find an innocent little smiley face drawn on the side of the cups. Suddenly feeling the need to confirm that she was special to Dixie she searched her own cup for a message. When she found it, it gave her an extra pep in her step: 

Keep calm and sing on, beautiful

Ash was still staring happily at her message when Meena spoke up out of nowhere. 

“She was really nice Ash.” She said casually and Ash looked up at her in confusion. 

“Uhh… who?” Ash raised an eyebrow at her friend and Meena just smiled indulgently. 

“Dixie…?” Meena giggled when Ash’s face melted into a smile at the mere mention of the barista.

 “Oh yeah. I know right?” Ash tried to recover and act casual but Meena saw through it almost immediately. She snorted and rolled her eyes, but the smile never left her face. 

“Good coffee.” Johnny finally spoke up for the first time that day before descending back into his cup of coffee. Meena squeezed his hand to thank him for the back up and then turned to look at Ash. 

“You should ask her out.” Meena threw out casually as they ascended the steps into the theatre. 

“I know right!” Ash exclaimed, still trying to play off her attraction, not really realizing exactly what Meena had said. As soon as she realized what she had just agreed to she stopped dead in her tracks and stared up at Meena in bewilderment. Meena just winked and led Johnny into the theatre.

 Ash stood there for a few more minutes, consumed by shock. How is it that Meena and Johnny, the most oblivious couple in the world, the couple that she had spent forever trying to get together, figured out that she was attracted to Dixie after only one meeting? She spent the rest of the day puzzling over it until she realized that Meena had told her to ask Dixie out. Then she spent the rest of the night sitting in her bed and trying to gather up the courage to actually ask Dixie out.

 Friday dawned and Ash was still sitting in her bed, in dire need of coffee and filled with sleep-deprived courage. She rolled out of bed, traded her pajamas for grey leggings, a black skirt and a HISS concert shirt. She checked herself in the mirror for what felt like forever until she finally wrenched herself away and headed down to the coffee shop. 

 On her way over Ash practiced how she was going to ask Dixie out, going over dozens of possible scenarios in her head.She was outside the coffee shop pacing for over a minute before she finally stopped and looked at her reflection in the mirror. 

“Ash! Get your shit together girl! Go in there and ask her out like proper mammal!” She glared at herself and then, filled with a new level of determination, she pushed her way into the coffee shop. Like usual the place was relatively empty and Ash was thankful that not many animals would be around to witness her inevitable humiliation.

 “Good morning Ash. You look like you need a good cup of coffee.” Dixie smiled cheerily and automatically started making Ash’s coffee. Ash fiddled with her concert shirt and mumbled her carefully rehearsed lines under her breath. And then she promptly decided to wing it. 

“Hey Dixie?” She murmured, her mouth going dry when Dixie turned around and fixed her with a charming smile.

 “Yes?” She asked, absently pouring the espresso into the latte.

 “Do you wanna come to the concert?” Ash blurted out and Dixie’s smile brightened as she boiled the milk and added it into the cup. 

“Of course! I already have front row tickets actually. I’ve had them since I met you.” She blushed slightly and looked down into the coffee. Ash felt her heart fluttering desperately in her chest and she took a moment to appreciate it before she continued on with her runaway train of a date proposal.

 “Well um… you know maybe you’d like to go to dinner afterwards. Just the two of us.” Ash tried to stop her mouth but it continued speaking, digging her deeper into a bottomless pit, “Like a date. A date. With me.”

 Her voice faded out as she looked at Dixie who was standing there, holding her finished coffee in hand and looking at Ash with an unreadable expression. Ash waited with her heart in her throat as Dixie looked down, scribbled something on the cup and then held it out for Ash to take. 

Ash felt her heart drop to her feet like a stone when Dixie said nothing. Her rejection felt like a hot knife going through her heart, but Ash decided that maybe she should get used to the feeling. Maybe it was all she deserved in this life. Slowly, morosely, she accepted the coffee and trudged out of the coffee shop. 

 She looked down at the coffee cup, hoping that maybe it would hold some kind of salvation. Scribbled on the cup in familiar, cherished, handwriting was a phrase that had the power to pull Ash out of the pit of despair. In fact it made her feel like she was walking on air, like she could do anything that she wanted to. Because Dixie made her feel new, special, beautiful.

 I’ll see you Saturday night, beautiful.

#sing the movie #ash x oc #bisexual ash #johnny x meena #ash sing #johnny sing #meena sing #coffee shop love #a new flavor to love #send me prompts