#'What a tangled web we weave…' when they both start hitting on her nonstop

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Y'all I been doing Dazai route in eng for the collection event and I'm just.

WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE WRITING HERE. DAZAI AND MC ARE OFF THE CHARTS???? I FEEL LIKE I'M IN IKESEN RN HELP

I never want off this tragicomedy this is amazing. Just look at this shit:

There's so much going on here???? I'm in stitches?????

Dazai if you're going to roll with familial obligation PICK ONE ROLE, what is this madness!!!

MC full on out here UNIRONICALLY looking at Charles and going:

MC: I could make him worse twirling hair around her finger

What's even more uproarious to me is Dazai like "I must. Protect MC from his vile eboy clutches." And MC is straight up like "Dazai if you won't tap this then I will have my hot girl summer." Can you tell I love her so much for this I'm sobbing. Girl math queen of "I want what's bad for me"

Charles. Trying to whine his way into a hot night and Dazai's abrupt "Haha, no." Just imagining the delivery of that line straight up made me astral project, Dazai is feeling petty and I'm LIVING

"NotMyName-san." Do I even need to say it. MC dragging his ass and I'm wheeze--

Aight but that last screenshot. I swear to God that's where I lost my veritable shit. I think I've just gotten so used to Comte and Leonardo being so literal of like "oh yeah that f**ker can't keep his hands to himself, give me a second to get rid of him" that I just did not see Dazai's roast coming. And not only how iconic and subtle a jab that is, but the ENDLESS implications????????????

"He seems like someone who can't keep his hands out of the picnic basket." Dazai was COOKING. He said "boy's got no patience, he can't pace a relationship properly." [Note: Dazai can't pace a relationship at all, so uh, pot meet kettle--]. He said "man's going to get to third base on the first date and that is GAUCHE." I love this bit because of how much it gives him away. Dazai out here like "I'm just a silly silly goofy no thoughts guy! Hahaha!" And then the second Charles tries to drag MC around like a rag doll, Dazai comes out like "what is this. menace doing with a nice young woman. I say, young man, cease this horny shitfkery at once!" The man who sat in bed with MC naked after a month's worth of knowing her and does not explain (though in fairness he was trying to be helpful [?]). Can you tell I love him. Osamu "Do As I Say, Not As I Do" Dazai.

Dazai out here like "I just know he's going to ask too much of her, and that could have grievous implications when it comes to being a vampire." As much as it might be a throwaway line, I gotta say I see that amongst his concerns. And tbh I think he means it both in the sense of bloodlust but also in the sense that Charles is a bit wayward with his self-control (not entirely Charles' fault). Dazai out here like "I know this little shit ain't got an ounce of foresight, and I hate this for my best girl." No beef to Charles, but the man lives in the present (in some ways by circumstance) and I can see how he might not be able to have MC's best interests for the future in mind (he's got a lot of healing to do).

Man can you tell I just can't get over the way Dazai flamed him. It's giving:

Also for the record no shade to Charles as an LI, I just think it's hilarious how jealous Dazai is and how that makes him uncharacteristically choose so much violence khafjlsjkshgdfjh

I gotta say if there's one thing that gets my ass so bad when it comes to Comte and Dazai it's how they're so like. "Peace and love on planet earth~"

Charles/Vlad: hi

Comte and Dazai:

Comte and Dazai:

#legitimately its TRAGIC that i started wheezing SO BAD #i failed to screenshot that part where mc is like #'What a tangled web we weave…' when they both start hitting on her nonstop #THE POLYCULE IS IN SHAMBLES /j #listen idk who it was that did the localization for this rt #but i hope they know they're a fking real one damn #i feel like this is the first time in years ive read smth in the eng ver and gone 'who made this tea? delicious' #even funnier bc i rmr reading summaries of dazais rt abt how chaotic it was--its not like i wasnt even aware #but they really put their whole [redacted] into this one LMFAO #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp charles #ikevamp mc #ikevamp comte #ikevamp vlad #dazai main story route