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#'Then this so sweet maid is a polyandrist and i am a bigamist'
icharchivist · 2 years
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out of all the things to expect from Dracula, i didn’t expect to see, in the text, van Helsing going “oh my GOD we’re ACTUALLY a polycule”
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nyxshadowhawk · 7 months
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Then this so sweet maid is a polyandrist, and me, with my poor wife dead to me, but alive by Church's law, though no wits, all gone—even I, who am faithful husband to this now-no-wife, am bigamist.
The polycule is canon!
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yallemagne · 7 months
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This episode. Hoooooooeeeeeeeeeey.
The service was very simple and very solemn. There were only ourselves and the servants there, one or two old friends of his from Exeter, his London agent, and a gentleman representing Sir John Paxton, the President of the Incorporated Law Society. 
Much like Lucy's funeral in a way, but not sparse for lack of inviting but a lack of people to invite. After all, Hawkins had no family left to him to leave anything to.
Jonathan was holding me by the arm, the way he used to in old days before I went to school. I felt it very improper, for you can't go on for some years teaching etiquette and decorum to other girls without the pedantry of it biting into yourself a bit; but it was Jonathan, and he was my husband, and we didn't know anybody who saw us—and we didn't care if they did—so on we walked.
Mina sounds a bit flustered at the faux pas they're engaging in but still overjoyed at the knowledge that Jonathan is her husband! However, she still needs to justify it: "well, no one will gossip because no one here knows us, so it is fine". Come now, dear, it's fine because it doesn't matter. But oh well, she's getting used to it.
Mina: *detailing Dracula's appearance* "You see, he did not pass the vibe check. His vibes were absolutely rancid."
She really describes Dracula as though she were describing an animal. It's kind of unsettling.
"I believe it is the Count, but he has grown young. My God, if this be so! Oh, my God! my God! If I only knew! if I only knew!"
Youuuu bastards, having Jonathan repeat the lines as Mina continues narrating aghgh.
"Why, Mina, have I been asleep! Oh, do forgive me for being so rude. Come, and we'll have a cup of tea somewhere." 
He's so cute!!! AAAA he is SO CUTE!!! My precious baby, I just want to hold him in my hands. He's so soft and cute and sounds so sweet and unsure, so bashful.
And then Mina begins the next section sounding like she has been crying. She mentions Arthur immediately, which is worth noting because she parallels him. She's lost a father figure and though she hasn't lost a lover, her lover is struggling to keep himself together while Arthur's lost the fight for her life already.
and then Jack comes in egregiously horny, and I just. What do you even have to say for yourself, sir? I think perhaps the way that he describes Quincey hints that he may not know Quincey as intimately as he knows Arthur? Nor as intimately as Arthur knows Quincey. Of course, part of this is just Bram fawning over American men because of his giant man crush on Walt Whitman. Jack's hero worship gives the impression that he's not close enough with Quincey to know his human flaws, at least. He sees him as a moral viking!!
Arthur was saying that he felt since then as if they two had been really married and that she was his wife in the sight of God. None of us said a word of the other operations, and none of us ever shall. 
Jack, are you really so stupid as to think that he doesn't know? Skipping ahead--
"Just so. Said he not that the transfusion of his blood to her veins had made her truly his bride?" "Yes, and it was a sweet and comforting idea for him." "Quite so. But there was a difficulty, friend John. If so that, then what about the others? Ho, ho! Then this so sweet maid is a polyandrist, and me, with my poor wife dead to me, but alive by Church's law, though no wits, all gone—even I, who am faithful husband to this now-no-wife, am bigamist." "I don't see where the joke comes in there either!" I said; and I did not feel particularly pleased with him for saying such things. 
Everyone raved over these lines before ("he confirmed the polycule!! they're all fucking!!"), and they probably still are raving tbh, so I appreciate Re: Dracula properly communicating VH's disdain for the idea and Jack's disdain for VH's disdain. It's more than an offensive joke, VH is bitter at Arthur's words because it would ironically make them all husbands of Lucy, and he morally objects to the idea of polyandry and betraying his wife though he considers her dead to him (comatose? out of her mind? either way, he can't/won't divorce her but still values the virtue of his faithfulness). Likewise, Jack doesn't appreciate VH's apparent derision towards Arthur and the insulting way he refers to Lucy as a polyandrist. But VH assures Jack that he's simply venting to Jack because Jack is his friend, and he dares not to express these harsh feelings to Arthur, who reminds him of his son.
"Friend John, forgive me if I pain. I showed not my feeling to others when it would wound, but only to you, my old friend, whom I can trust. If you could have looked into my very heart then when I want to laugh; if you could have done so when the laugh arrived; if you could do so now, when King Laugh have pack up his crown, and all that is to him—for he go far, far away from me, and for a long, long time—maybe you would perhaps pity me the most of all." I was touched by the tenderness of his tone, and asked why. "Because I know!"
See, this is why he will not tell Jack. Not because he's scared of him. Because he knows that to know is to suffer. He does not wish any suffering upon Jack, though he should realize that keeping secrets has been the cause of much suffering already.
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ashleybenlove · 7 months
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"Quite so. But there was a difficulty, friend John. If so that, then what about the others? Ho, ho! Then this so sweet maid is a polyandrist, and me, with my poor wife dead to me, but alive by Church's law, though no wits, all gone—even I, who am faithful husband to this now-no-wife, am bigamist."
Everyone wins given that Bram was like "hey this kinda makes her a polyandrist huh?"
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throwawaydracula · 2 years
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"Just so. Said he not that the transfusion of his blood to her veins had made her truly his bride?" "Yes, and it was a sweet and comforting idea for him." "Quite so. But there was a difficulty, friend John. If so that, then what about the others? Ho, ho! Then this so sweet maid is a polyandrist, and me, with my poor wife dead to me, but alive by Church's law, though no wits, all gone—even I, who am faithful husband to this now-no-wife, am bigamist."
This exchange has always amused me because it's basically Van Helsing shutting down the idea, in-universe, that the blood transfusion was a metaphor for sex. He's laughing because of the dark absurdity of the idea, just like Lucy's lovely funeral was darkly absurd.
Doesn't mean you can't read the transfusion as a metaphor for sex. Doesn't even necessarily mean Stoker didn't see it that way. My take is that Stoker was aware of the way things could be read, and felt the need to have a character directly say 'lol, no, that would be weird'. I do suspect that was Stoker's own opinion on the matter, but even if it weren't, remember we are engaging with something written at a time when Oscar Wilde had some of his own writings used against him when being tried for sodomy and gross indecency. One can imagine being rather anxious to avoid falling into a similar trap.
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ivesblosson · 2 years
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Why can't they let a girl marry three men,or as many as want her, and save all this trouble?
Lucy Westenra, May 24
"Just so. Said he not that the transfusion of his blood to her veins had made her truly his bride?"
"Yes, and it was a sweet and comforting idea for him."
"Quite so. But there was a difficulty, friend John. If so that, then what about the others? Ho, ho! Then this so sweet maid is a polyandrist, and me, with my poor wife dead to me, but alive by Church's law, though no wits, all gone—even I, who am faithful husband to this now-no-wife, am bigamist."
John Seward and Abraham Van Helsing, September 22.
I guess we could say Lucy got her wish? #draculapolycule
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sailoreuterpe · 2 years
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"Just so. Said he not that the transfusion of his blood to her veins had made her truly his bride?"
"Yes, and it was a sweet and comforting idea for him."
"Quite so. But there was a difficulty, friend John. If so that, then what about the others? Ho, ho! Then this so sweet maid is a polyandrist, and me, with my poor wife dead to me, but alive by Church's law, though no wits, all gone—even I, who am faithful husband to this now-no-wife, am bigamist."
*Goes to AO3 to look up the fanfictions--again*
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janeeyreofmanderley · 2 years
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I was thinking once again about the infamous "King Laugh" sequence, and how this twisted, hysteric bit, ist the only time, we really learn anything about Van Helsing as a person, and not only as a teacher, doctor and expert at obscure and supernatural diseases....
My heart bleed for that poor boy—that dear boy, so of the age of mine own boy had I been so blessed that he live, and with his hair and eyes the same. There, you know now why I love him so. And yet when he say things that touch my husband-heart to the quick, and make my father-heart yearn to him as to no other man—not even to you, friend John, for we are more level in experiences than father and son—yet even at such moment King Laugh he come to me and shout and bellow in my ear, 'Here I am! here I am!' till the blood come dance back and bring some of the sunshine that he carry with him to my cheek.
For the first time we learn of Van Helsing's family. Or rather former family. He used to have a son, and this son is dead. His profession has the sole aim of saving lives, and yet here he is, a bereaved father, who only sees his son in other young men's faces, and only by looking at them can conjure shadows of what his son might have been like. I think it adds some extra layer to the passion and urgency he shows, when trying to save lives. Always thinking of the one he wanted to save most, but could not. But there is more....
"Just so. Said he not that the transfusion of his blood to her veins had made her truly his bride?"
"Yes, and it was a sweet and comforting idea for him."
"Quite so. But there was a difficulty, friend John. If so that, then what about the others? Ho, ho! Then this so sweet maid is a polyandrist, and me, with my poor wife dead to me, but alive by Church's law, though no wits, all gone—even I, who am faithful husband to this now-no-wife, am bigamist."
Not only is the poor man a now childless father, he is also the widower of a living wife. His wife is insane. Possibly also a result of the loss of their child, which certainly is enough to push people over the edge. He lives like a widower, but wihtout the option of recovery. He has the responsibilty to care for her, but can never enjoy her company again, nor start a new life with someone else. He has no chance for another family. He is effectively doomed to loneliness. Also that sheds a new light on his relationship to Jack as well as Jack's profession. Van Helsing clearly is his mentor, and Jack's focus of medical interst is the care for the mentally ill. Given that Van Helsing's ill wife most likely lives in an asylum I think one can assume, that Van Helsing also has a similar focus, hoping to improve or (one can hope) even maybe cure these kinds of afflictions. So much of what Jack attempts in the care for the patients of his asylum might be sth he actually learned from Van Helsing...
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draculalive · 5 years
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Dr. Seward's Diary.
22 September. -- It is all over. Arthur has gone back to Ring, and has taken Quincey Morris with him. What a fine fellow is Quincey! I believe in my heart of hearts that he suffered as much about Lucy's death as any of us; but he bore himself through it like a moral Viking. If America can go on breeding men like that, she will be a power in the world indeed. Van Helsing is lying down, having a rest preparatory to his journey. He goes over to Amsterdam to-night, but says he returns to-morrow night; that he only wants to make some arrangements which can only be made personally. He is to stop with me then, if he can; he says he has work to do in London which may take him some time. Poor old fellow! I fear that the strain of the past week has broken down even his iron strength. All the time of the burial he was, I could see, putting some terrible restraint on himself. When it was all over, we were standing beside Arthur, who, poor fellow, was speaking of his part in the operation where his blood had been transfused to his Lucy's veins; I could see Van Helsing's face grow white and purple by turns. Arthur was saying that he felt since then as if they two had been really married and that she was his wife in the sight of God. None of us said a word of the other operations, and none of us ever shall. Arthur and Quincey went away together to the station, and Van Helsing and I came on here. The moment we were alone in the carriage he gave way to a regular fit of hysterics. He has denied to me since that it was hysterics, and insisted that it was only his sense of humour asserting itself under very terrible conditions. He laughed till he cried, and I had to draw down the blinds lest any one should see us and misjudge; and then he cried, till he laughed again; and laughed and cried together, just as a woman does. I tried to be stern with him, as one is to a woman under the circumstances; but it had no effect. Men and women are so different in manifestations of nervous strength or weakness! Then when his face grew grave and stern again I asked him why his mirth, and why at such a time. His reply was in a way characteristic of him, for it was logical and forceful and mysterious. He said:---
"Ah, you don't comprehend, friend John. Do not think that I am not sad, though I laugh. See, I have cried even when the laugh did choke me. But no more think that I am all sorry when I cry, for the laugh he come just the same. Keep it always with you that laughter who knock at your door and say, 'May I come in?' is not the true laughter. No! he is a king, and he come when and how he like. He ask no person; he choose no time of suitability. He say, 'I am here.' Behold, in example I grieve my heart out for that so sweet young girl; I give my blood for her, though I am old and worn; I give my time, my skill, my sleep; I let my other sufferers want that so she may have all. And yet I can laugh at her very grave -- laugh when the clay from the spade of the sexton drop upon her coffin and say 'Thud! thud!' to my heart, till it send back the blood from my cheek. My heart bleed for that poor boy -- that dear boy, so of the age of mine own boy had I been so blessed that he live, and with his hair and eyes the same. There, you know now why I love him so. And yet when he say things that touch my husband-heart to the quick, and make my father-heart yearn to him as to no other man -- not even to you, friend John, for we are more level in experiences than father and son -- yet even at such moment King Laugh he come to me and shout and bellow in my ear, 'Here I am! here I am!' till the blood come dance back and bring some of the sunshine that he carry with him to my cheek. Oh, friend John, it is a strange world, a sad world, a world full of miseries, and woes, and troubles; and yet when King Laugh come he make them all dance to the tune he play. Bleeding hearts, and dry bones of the churchyard, and tears that burn as they fall -- all dance together to the music that he make with that smileless mouth of him. And believe me, friend John, that he is good to come, and kind. Ah, we men and women are like ropes drawn tight with strain that pull us different ways. Then tears come; and, like the rain on the ropes, they brace us up, until perhaps the strain become too great, and we break. But King Laugh he come like the sunshine, and he ease off the strain again; and we bear to go on with our labour, what it may be."
I did not like to wound him by pretending not to see his idea; but, as I did not yet understand the cause of his laughter, I asked him. As he answered me his face grew stern, and he said in quite a different tone:---
"Oh, it was the grim irony of it all -- this so lovely lady garlanded with flowers, that looked so fair as life, till one by one we wondered if she were truly dead; she laid in that so fine marble house in that lonely churchyard, where rest so many of her kin, laid there with the mother who loved her, and whom she loved; and that sacred bell going 'Toll! toll! toll!' so sad and slow; and those holy men, with the white garments of the angel, pretending to read books, and yet all the time their eyes never on the page; and all of us with the bowed head. And all for what? She is dead; so! Is it not?"
"Well, for the life of me, Professor," I said, "I can't see anything to laugh at in all that. Why, your explanation makes it a harder puzzle than before. But even if the burial service was comic, what about poor Art and his trouble? Why, his heart was simply breaking."
"Just so. Said he not that the transfusion of his blood to her veins had made her truly his bride?"
"Yes, and it was a sweet and comforting idea for him."
"Quite so. But there was a difficulty, friend John. If so that, then what about the others? Ho, ho! Then this so sweet maid is a polyandrist, and me, with my poor wife dead to me, but alive by Church's law, though no wits, all gone -- even I, who am faithful husband to this now-no-wife, am bigamist."
"I don't see where the joke comes in there either!" I said; and I did not feel particularly pleased with him for saying such things. He laid his hand on my arm, and said:---
"Friend John, forgive me if I pain. I showed not my feeling to others when it would wound, but only to you, my old friend, whom I can trust. If you could have looked into my very heart then when I want to laugh; if you could have done so when the laugh arrived; if you could do so now, when King Laugh have pack up his crown, and all that is to him -- for he go far, far away from me, and for a long, long time -- maybe you would perhaps pity me the most of all."
I was touched by the tenderness of his tone, and asked why.
"Because I know!"
And now we are all scattered; and for many a long day loneliness will sit over our roofs with brooding wings. Lucy lies in the tomb of her kin, a lordly death-house in a lonely churchyard, away from teeming London; where the air is fresh, and the sun rises over Hampstead Hill, and where wild flowers grow of their own accord.
So I can finish this diary; and God only knows if I shall ever begin another. If I do, or if I even open this again, it will be to deal with different people and different themes; for here at the end, where the romance of my life is told, ere I go back to take up the thread of my life-work, I say sadly and without hope,
"FINIS."
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ashleybenlove · 2 years
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"Quite so. But there was a difficulty, friend John. If so that, then what about the others? Ho, ho! Then this so sweet maid is a polyandrist, and me, with my poor wife dead to me, but alive by Church's law, though no wits, all gone—even I, who am faithful husband to this now-no-wife, am bigamist."
Oh, Van Helsing also thought about the same thing I did lol. Buddy, relax a little. 
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