魔法使いは二度死ぬ /Mahoutsukai wa nido shinu/Magicians Die Twice
Did you know? Things that aren’t good for anything are called “magic”.
Out of my cute wand comes a cute beam of hearts or stars, and my opponent loses their mind!
You’re asking what happens to my opponent?
They lose their mind! In other words, nothing happens at all.
Because magic is just magic.
I said, “Stop it already!”
I said it to myself
Because if I go any further
Things probably won’t go my way
I wish all I ever came up with
Was lies
I revealed the secrets of the universe
Those gotta be lies, otherwise I can’t, I can’t stand this
Another birth celebration, elegant, but
I shoot through the energy with my air gun
Take a little, steam it in your rice cooker, simmer, stir, and store
And when you get hungry, ping
You only liked the magic
You didn’t really like me
A soap bubble that bursts on the base wax
You just like it because it’s never coming back
Gross
But when it comes down to it, isn’t that me?
I paint the landscape, and then
Little by little I’m erased from the scene, and that’s
what is called “listening to music”
If only I’d never become a magician
If only I’d never become a magician
If only I’d never become a magician
Every day I say something like “my hobby is suicide”
This huge value extends my life by one day
I’m holding it tight so I’m not lonely
You said, “You’re wrong!”
You said, “Stop it!”
I’m not ready to disappear anyway
Because I’m not putting my life on the line
All my thoughts
Are just gibberish
So why are they coming true
I gotta hurry, rattle rattle, clatter clatter
How long have you been asleep?
Chatty rooms
Somebody’s feelings crushed under a finger heart
Splatter, spatter, I stir them around, a lethal dose of love
That’s funny that I still had such pure feelings
What I mean is “Make music!”
In the end, I can’t be anything but a magician
In the end, I can’t be anything but a magician
In the end, I can’t be anything but a magician
While my love and my labor are being abused
This huge value extends my life by one day
But even if I hold it tight I can’t overcome this
If only I’d never become a magician
If only I’d never become a magician
If only I’d never become a magician
Some stick, a fancy outfit, a tired old spell
Love and justice, the trembling of a young girl, prayer and sacrifice
I’m holding them tight so I’m not lonely
Did you know? Things that aren’t good for anything are called “magic”.
But useless things that nobody cares about
are the only things that can make my heart leap anymore.
Oomori Seiko - アルティメット♡らぶ全部 (Ultimate♡Love All of It)
You won’t come meet me DownTown
So you’re not eligible to be my Incel Angel [1]
Women are just a lump of flesh
I want to be the one to make you realize that
I can’t become the type of girl who won't say yes to sex
Sweat combines with my perfume,
I hate when I smell like this.
Lick me under the Summer Triangle [2]
Tell me that you don’t mind
Tell me that you don’t mind
It’s lonely but don’t get involved with me
Isn't it obvious that I’m a special case?
Ultimate love, give me all of it
Ultimate love, give me all of it
Ultimate love
You’ve been so bad at dating on purpose,
so you and I could meet, right?
Moments I stole from an undateable loser
My memories of those times are warped, a symptom of something [3]
I just want to hold you close, all of you
Sex with that woman must suck
Well, that’s what you get!
Love - sexual tension= an infinity that’s no different than 0
Stop it with the “that’s fine”
Stop it with the “that’s fine”
I hate it when you do that.
I wish I had one more boyfriend!
Ultimate love, give me all of it
Ultimate love, give me all of it
Ultimate love
Well then why are you in such a bad mood?
Sometimes you get like that too, sometimes I get like this too
Well don’t we just work so well together?
Nothing can make me feel better about myself other than falling in love, nothing else
Ultimate love, give me all of it
Ultimate love
TRANSLATION NOTES
This song was used as the opening theme for the second season of the drama 来世ではちゃんとします (officially translated as "I will do it in the next life"). From what I've read, it's about a girl who has a lot of sex. The video I linked is the OP of the drama, which is a shortened version of the song, and features the cast lip-synching and playing air guitar to the song lol.
DT is internet slang for "virgin" (similar to incel, I guess). It comes from the word for male virgin, doutei, which, as you can see, has a D and a T lol. However this part was really confusing for me as I'm pretty sure the first DT is meant to be "downtown", based on how she sings it. I may be wrong. Also I'm not entirely sure what a DT Angel would be.
The summer triangle is that constellation or whatever that they always talk about in romantic scenes in anime. I'm assuming this is also meant to be an innuendo for some other triangle that you may lick under.
Guys this line was so hard to translate. This whole song was. I'm tired.